#but like i need to keep watching the show bc I need them to be together even though actually he’s an asshole
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O!Steve & B!Robin as childhood friends!! Not Nancy Wheeler Friendly bc this is from a protective Robin POV & I needed drama & No Upside Down AU
They meet when Robin skips 4th grade & become friends when they're paired together for a project. Steve is a Henderson bc his mom divorced his sire Richard Harrington & Steve didn't want to b a Harrington anymore he wanted to have his mom's maiden name. He & his mom moved to Hawkins the week before school started.
Steve is chubby & a boy omega (which is rare especially in Hawkins Elementary where only two other boys in the grades below r omegas) which makes him different & he's not very good at reading aloud but he still gets some of the best scores on their social studies or history lessons & his scent is still muted like the kids younger than them. So he isn't popular but he isn't overtly bullied but he is largely ignored by the kids w more social capital.
So he & Robin bond abt being treated as outcasts. They quickly become best friends & spend as much time together outside of school as they can except every other Sunday bc Steve's mom drives a few towns away in Roane County to the nearest Episcopal church.
Robin was raised Buddhist bc her mom is a child of Vietnamese immigrants & her dad was an anti-war protester (especially after he gets drafted into Vietnam, causing him to lose his left leg). The Buckleys celebrate a vague Christmas tht they treat more like Yule with Father Winter instead of Santa, presents still happen but Robin is expected to choose a few of her gifts to give to a nearby domestic violence shelter where some kids stay.
Then high school starts. Steve has his first heat the summer before & so his scent matures to smell like baked apples w honey. He loses a bit of the baby fat, his face gets clearer of acne he'd developed in 7th grade, & his hair is noticeably more shiny. This means Steve is suddenly the subject of new attention by some of the beta boys & alphas of Hawkins High. It all makes Steve uncomfortable so Robin stops trimming her nails & even files them sharper when at home. She shows off her newly sharp nails when she scratches up the arms of an alpha senior who wasn't taking Steve's polite refusals as an answer, tearing up their jacket sleeves, & even ripping a big hole in the bottom of their backpack so all their things tumbled out.
After tht word spread quickly tht Steve Henderson had a guard, Robin Buckley. So the attention turned from a rush to a trickle.
A!Tommy Hagan tries harassing Steve in their sophomore year & calling it courting but Robin tells B!Carol Perkins tht Tommy is trying to cheat on her & together they scratch Tommy so deeply he gets scars. Sophomore year is also when Steve begins babysitting for extra cash. He starts w his little cousin Dustin, then the Sinclairs hire him every other Saturday night, & the list grows till Steve is having Robin help him keep a planner just to keep track of his babysitting gigs.
Then junior year brings abt a Steve who is the uncontested prettiest omega in school & the attention gets worse. Except now ppl know to try to get Robin's approval. She doesn't make it easy & this weeds out the ppl who only wanted a chance to say they'd popped Steve's cherry.
This works till A!Nancy Wheeler sets her sights on Steve. Nancy does practically every task Robin gives her w minimal complaints, so Robin gives Nancy the chance to actually court Steve. Except it quickly becomes clear to Robin tht Nancy didn't seem all tht interested in learning more abt steve outside of who he was in the schools social ladder. Robin would watch how Nancy flaunted their relationship to others to establish a growing social status but would then make eyes at B!Jonathan Byers, The Creep as others called him.
When O!Will Byers goes missing (later being found kidnapped by his father) & B!Barb runs away while the town is focused on tht, Nancy becomes more & more disinterested in Steve. Apparently insisting to Steve tht Barb was her best friend & tht she would've told Nancy if she was going to run away. Robin snorts when Steve tells her this bc it was obvious to Robin their friendship was a one way street of Nancy getting what she wanted.
So of course Nancy embarrasses herself & Steve at Tina's Halloween party the next year, after a year of growing colder towards Steve & leading him on & insisting to them both tht Jonathan is just a friend. Of course Nancy runs off w Byers after the whisper of a lead on where Barb had gone reaches her ears, of course she comes back smelling like Byers in a way tht made it clear she'd had sex w him & only then breaking up w Steve & worst of all is how Steve doesn't get angry with Nancy or Jonathan.
It all gets more annoying when Steve is newly single & knot headed A!Billy Hargrove tries approaching Steve when no one else is around. He never offers to exclusively court Steve & he never approaches Robin abt it either. He just follows Steve to secluded corners of the school or town & makes comments when no one is around to hear him.
Eventually they graduate, Robin decides to put off going away for college opting instead to take classes part time at the Roane County Community College w Steve. Billy Hargrove races out of town after he beats his father in the Hargroves front lawn, Mr Hargrove leaves town soon after but his wife & step daughter the Mayfields stay in Hawkins. Robin only learns most of this thanks to Steve being Max's babysitter now
for two weeks of the summer Nancy tries to court Steve again, claiming she'd changed but this is after Jonathan Byers learns tht Nancy hadn't broken up w Steve till after their fruitless attempt to convince Barb to come home led to them sleeping together & so he breaks up w her unable to believe she'd hurt Steve in the way his own father had hurt his mom
They get jobs at the mall in the food court. Then the larger parent company of their employer Scoops Ahoy gets shut down by the government for tax evasion & tax fraud & a whole list of illegal labor practices so they find new jobs at the Cinema-plex in the same mall. Then the mall burns down bc the construction was cheap & several safety regulations were blatantly ignored. So they find another job they can work together. This time at Family Video, after an interview w Keith (whose parents own the small strip mall where the laundromat & the arcade & video store r located) wherein Robin said her favorite movie was a German silent film she knew Keith would know nothing abt & Steve equally stumped Keith w a samurai movie tht Robin knew didn't circulate in the US, Ms Henderson had gotten the VHS of the movie shipped to Hawkins through friends in the UK.
Time went on, they took their classes at the small community college, Steve still babysat here & there, & the platonic soulmates were even apartment hunting in their free time. Settling on the relatively affordable rent of a 2 bed trailer in Forest Hills.
That's where Eddie Munson pops into their lives. Apparently he'd met Steve once or twice when Steve had come by to babysit Max. Now tht the pair lived so close by Munson he took to being a welcome committee. A couple of months of living in the trailer park, hanging out w Eddie who had begun working at the local mechanics instead of racing out of town like Hargrove, & buying the odd joint from the alpha at an obviously reduced price. Munson made his move & approached Robin on a day tht she was working without Steve.
The alpha was visibly nervous but determined & he didn't even shrink away when Robin glared him down for 5 minutes in silence. So she sighed & gave him a random task tht she knew Steve would like to see. This went on & on, Eddie growing closer w Steve & when Steve told Robin he wanted to b courted by their neighbor she delivered the news to Eddie w her best friend right behind her.
The pair courted for 2 years before Steve sat her down & told her he was pregnant just abt 2 months along & tht he & Eddie were going to exchange bites before the due date & tht they wanted to move in together. Robin was silent bc they were supposed to leave for Portland tht spring, so tht she could attend college & Steve could get a cosmetology license, they were supposed to remain together into their old age. She didn't even realize tht she'd nearly gone into a srs beta drop till it was the next morning & she was being held by Steve in his nest.
Over breakfast sandwiches in bed Steve explained tht she had dropped before Steve could tell her tht if she approved Eddie was going to drive to Portland two weeks before they planned to leave & get a 3 bedroom apartment set up. If she didnt approve Eddie was still going to drive there early but just find an apartment for stobin & another apartment for himself. They talked for hours abt how Steve didn't want to b best friends w anyone except Robin & his alpha, how Robin had been scared for awhile abt Steve leaving her, & it ended w them having a movie night where they ordered Eddie to pick up a pizza & sodas & the biggest order of chicken tenders possible
7 months later after a home birth in Portland Oregon, Robin cried when she got to meet her best friends twin babies & learned tht they'd named the youngest of the baby girls Janis Robin Munson while the older twin was Joan Cathy Munson (Cathy was Eddie's mom's name & coincidentally grandma Henderson's name)
& Aunty Robin became the Munson pups favorite babysitter 🥰
Robin being protective of omega Steve is always so lovely💕💕💕
#slick sunday#steddie#steddie omegaverse#omega steve harrington#alpha eddie munson#beta robin buckley#platonic stobin#steve x eddie#a/b/o#omegaverse#mpreg#tw mpreg#cw mpreg#my asks
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Of all the damage pseudo- spirituality has done to the human society, manifesting and femininity are constantly fighting for a top spot in my brain. Manifesting at LEAST has a truth to it and was going fine until all the online course gurus did their thing- femininity is just. What even. & if this only damaged the dating world which it was created to cater to I wouldn't mind so much but well.
The idea of 'dark' and 'light' femininity especially- what even. The human species is so interesting to me bc we will do everything but be natural. No other animal or plant does this, mind you. Not even orcas.
By "Light Feminine" do you mean blonde, blue eyes, pink make up and etiquette? By 'dark feminine' do you mean also white but black hair and darker (tanned) skin, dark eyeliner and manipulative? Basically Sabrina Carpenter X Megan Fox AU? ? I've read so much on both and literally NONE of that is femininity. Look at the world around you? Look at the feminine around you. The females of animals. The earth. The sea. Our mothers. Which of them acts like that? I want you to point to lioness or hamsterette (whatever female hamsters are called) and say okay so that is in it's light feminine and that's in it's dark. No no seriously. I'll even sponsor the whole expedition. I'm so curious. What feminine is the earth? Biege?
Femininity, is indifference. THAT IS IT. It is self centeredness. It is reciprocity. Everything else is masculine.
As a species I think sometimes we forget the maternal instinct is so strong in human females because we used to kill our kids? And not even millions of years ago I'm talking couple thousand? Hera? HERA. Sorry do you not watch Nat Geo? Have you never had a female pet? Maternal instinct is stronger that paternal because women are more likely to kill our children and end the species because femininity is serve me or die, and the only thing a child can serve is your maternal needs- , you know this right? You know lionesses kill their cubs when their daddy loses a fight? That hamsters eat their kids when they cant raise them to get back their nutrients? Spiders, have you heard of that? Natural selection, do you understand how that works? Female bees, you know hat they do to their males right? The earth, the epitome of femininity, Gaia- how long have you been alive? Your mom and your dad- and I mean the most loving mom vs the shittiest dads- who scares you more? Your sister or your brother?
Femininity, at its very core, is self-serving and indifferent what is that nurturing shit who came up with that and how blind are they? They had to invent entire complex religions and social norms to force women into giving birth what do you mean when you say you're naturally submissive? Admit you were watching corn on tumblr at 15 and it's conditioning what do you mean naturally? What nature where. Show me. Tell me yes it's natural for me to sleep around and get nothing in return its empowered look how this female does it too in nature. If you don't want to call it conditioning ok but nature? It's natural? Gaslighting your own self is crazy work but okay. Indifference is the only natural way to be feminine. Self serving. Nature watching her children fight for existence and only keeping the strongest, do you know how ruthless natural selection is? That's feminine because if you don't serve me why are you here? The most feminine women are the most self-serving. Shera7 entire aura is feminine because we all know she's selfish. The women that are self serving and centered win. And not just self-serving, self-centered to total indifference. I don't know why you want me to care about that but on the grounds it does not concern me, I will not be giving AF any time today and I'm offended you expect me to- indifference. I will be fine anyway mentality (WHEN IF WE TALK ABOUT JOURNALLING REMIND ME TO TALK AB THIS). This, also, is the baseline to manifesting by the way. I won't go there, ever, but if you want to manifest understand this- I will be okay regardless so why would I care? Not all that stuff you keep doing with the sage and numbers and maladaptive daydreaming x delusion in the name of acting as if.
Femininity is indifference. Self-centeredness. My way or no way. Everything else is masculinity (which, just so we are clear, is not a bad thing. Coming from a masculina).
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ty for confirming my question! I hope this request isn’t too hard to do with Hightide.
Hightide x femme cybertronian who’s a big sweetheart and is so beautiful that Hightide is smitten!!😭
(I also think he would definitely kiss readers hand/servo bc he’s a gentleman when he’s in love-)
This could be HCS or a lil fic, wtv u can do!🫶
WAWA HIGHTIDEE! Sorry if he’s written badly, I don’t know him too well… (i added him to my list tho :3)
[ HIGHTIDE ] x [ FEMME!READER ]
[ hightide x cybertronian!femme!sweet!reader ]
HEADCANONS
- Your height is just shorter of Hightide, being pretty massive for the average femme. You also focus more into the sea-side practice. Optimus Prime has sent you and Hightide to teach the Rescue bots water-rescues.
- When you guys arrive, you two definitely keep your relationship a secret. This idea was from Hightide since he’s way too embarrassed to show off his sparkmate. You are very accepting of his decision and don’t complain one bit, no wonder why he’s in-love with you!
- When he is harshly criticising the Rescue Bots, you usually step in after the session to talk to him. You do confront him but in a softer approach, asking why he was so harsh and that you aren’t proud of his work. Hightide doesn’t fight back unlike the usual. You cup his face into your hands when you do confront him, forcing him to listen while also showing him affection. Though he is stubborn at first, your words will eventually get to him and he’ll try his best to be nicer to the Rescue bots.
- When you two have to separate because of missions or the Rescue Bots only need one of you two, Hightide has a habit of going on one knee and kissing your hand before leaving, you just give him a warm smile and that definitely gets to him fast.
- You do tease Hightide, but not in a mean way. You like to mention when he is flustered. The way you tease is adorable to him, when you poke his nose and giggle at his stern expression. You are able to crack his hard exterior. Sure, he will definitely get pissed at your constant physical teasing, but he doesn’t have the spark to tell you to stop. When you do it infront of others, he just gently pushes you aside while keeping a stern expression (but he will definitely be blushing, a lot).
- Between the two of you, you were the first one to get used to humans. Sure, they were somewhat freaky, but they are also adorable! You really enjoyed talking to the humans from the Rescue crew, they had so much personality and life to them! Hightide was not fond of them though. When you were chatting to literally any human, he’d tried his best to tell you that they were untrustworthy. You don’t budge one bit and you actually flip the tables on him, convincing Hightide that humans are really kind and useful if you just trust them.
- Hightide has many interesting and horrific stories. You would listen to them all fully listening and without interrupting, Hightide definitely loves that part about you. You are too sweet to stop him and you don’t mind his stories, even if they are boring. If somebody else is getting bored of his stories, you try to divert his attention so he’d be talking to you. Hightide is pretty stubborn and keeps telling his story anyways.
- You two are always alone, together. Being get off at sea with no-one to interrupt the both definitely has its benefits. You and Hightide are able to show affection without being embarrassed whenever you guys want. You definitely take advantage and show Hightide lots of love and affection because you enjoy his flushed state.
- You enjoy it when he lays in your lap and you both watch the sunset, it’s a beautiful and peaceful scenery for the both of you. Hightide wanted to lay in your lap at-first but thought it was strange, so you were the first one to bring it up. When you did, Hightide was very willing to go with it.
#transformers#rescue bots#hightide#hightide rb#rb hightide#hightide x reader#transformers x reader#headcanons
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maybe the real voltron was the friends we made along the way
#so i finished. feels like they did not put a lot of thought into shiro or hunk's epilogue lmfao#overall i dont think it was Bad. it could have been better yknow. but again. it feels like they just needed a little extra time to breathe#in development. it's just bones.#i do think perhaps some of the criticisms i have seen of it are just from people pissing on the poor#i could fix her!!! ough i really do want to rewrite this sdnfksjfd but that would unfortunately require. having to watch this again#and i cant do that in 24 hours#im so sad this is disappearing. this is the only show for which i ever stayed up for the midnight PST release#back when only season 1 and maybe 2? were out i used to watch them constantly. sometimes in spanish to practice#like i wouldnt have ever finished without the threat of it leaving but this is the worst timing to reawaken my affection for it lmao#grateful for it. wish i hadnt waited so long#i did need time to forget the insanity tho bc if i had made myself keep going and finish at the time#it would have poisoned the ending i think. nice to finally watch those last 4-5 episodes with a fresh perspective#but at the same time this is How Many Years ive missed out on being able to talk about it lmao#maybe there is a renaissance. idk i havent looked into it too much but i guess i should now huh#we'll see if things are any different or if it's just the same shit i got tired of the first time around#but anyway. the show is still fun and i enjoyed it for the most part. very sad to see it go#mine#voltron
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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also i dont think any of the octavinelle trio acts right if you wear a choker around them
#like . azul likes to be delusional and wants u to wear a choker designed w him in mind to show u off as his#but . if u design a necklace for him he will keep it under his shirt next to his heart#hes soooo whipped#i think this would apply nicely to chef! azul in particular#idk watching culinary class wars rn rlly makes me think of a chef! azul au#with jade as his sous chef/floyd as one of the kitchen staff#and reader is a food critic.....#GOD I NEED TO WRITE THIS OUT THAT SOUNDS SO DELICIOUS#i think bc if u consider azul being rlly into wanting to show off his elevated cooking style + rare ingredients#itd be rlly interesting for food critic! reader to catch his eye#and him showing off high end dishes only for them to not like them as much/treat them like any other dish#AOIHSDOIFHSDFI I NEED THIS SO BAD ACTUALLY WHWAT THE FUCK#moth.txt
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also like i keep reading fics where people try to spin daniel's turning as something he was sort-of into, and that he sort-of consented to it (although with his life being threatened he could never consent fully, yanno) and also it tends to be intermingled with him and armand having sex and like. i know im a killjoy for saying this but i really hope in canon it isn't like that. like the turning is this massively violating and cruel thing and honestly i think it'd be a lot more interesting for it to be one more issue the two of them have to move past before they have any sort of relationship with each other
#iwtv#armandiel#like daniel Does Not Like armand at the end of s2. hes very fascinated by him but that fascination is second to his fear and repulsion#i want them to work through their issues with each other a bit before dm happens. in fact i want them to clash a bit more#and THEN keep being drawn to each other and THEN for dm to happen#though it is interesting. every time i watch the last scene of s2 and i see daniel say 'fucking asshole' i laugh bc#it really seems like he's calling armand an asshole for disappearing. and not for turning him#lmao#like they need to reconcile. and that reconciliation can and should include a patented daniel molloy bitchslap at the very least#please.... dm in the books has the turning as an act of kindness and love. but its flipped in the show#i really dont think you can spin it as something daniel welcomed in the show despite the fact he was begging for it in the book#okay im gonna yap some more#i also like the chase/reverse chase trope#i think itd be kindof gas if armand let daniel go and then stalks and hunts him like in the books#in fact i think thats the only scenario where daniel couldve consented to the turning. like if he has time to breathe and warm up to#armand and the idea of being a vampire#and vice versa that armand warms up to daniel and then the whole 'out of spite' thing at the end of s2 was just what louis assumed#or what daniel tells him. or whatever#and the reverse chase where armand turns daniel and disappears and daniel tracks him down#that ones my fav lowkey#but the chase in any form is very good fun#thunder rambles
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Wait you guys......
Mike and Will are in love
No because like they're just...they're just a wholesome childhood friends to lovers slowburn I'm gonna rewatch like "aww you don't know yet".
Like....
Mike and Will are in love.
They fell in love from ages 12-16(?). That's so cute. What the hell. I just randomly starting thinking about it like it's just some show I just heard about or something and I'm like "aw cute trope". What a cute trope wtf. That's adorable. Two twelve year old boys in the 80s and they fall in love over the course of many years as they grapple with internalized homophobia and homophobia in their small town? That sounds like a GREAT show where can I watch it? That's adorable.
Mike and Will are in love. And...that's just the premise. That's just the premise of their plot. If you came up to me after you watched episode 1 for spoilers and you were like "What happens to Lucas? Dustin? Mike? That girl they found? The kid who went missing?" I could just be like "Dustin gains confidence and becomes besties with Mike's sister's boyfriend after they break up, Lucas meets this girl who's introduced next season and they're really good for each other, the girl gets adopted by the police chief and then into the Byers and has a great found family and independence arc, and the boy who went missing survives and he and Mike fall in love!"
And that'd just be like...right. I'd just be telling you what happens.
#byler#byler endgame#stranger things#i'm processing in the simplest way of like#the knowledge that#not in a bad way but#once it's canon it won't be as big a deal#nothing to prove i'll just be like 'omg that's my favorite show bc it was such a wholesome romance. they fell in love from 12-16?? cmon ado#able!' and not need to elaborate#sometimes i think about it not even as an immediate reaction canon but like#when there isn't memory of it being this huge pop culture moment and you just pass by it on netflix#or when you've heard about it because it was on your youtube homepage one day#and you were like aw that sounds like a really sweet premise#i feel like i'm observing myself right now#like it's so surreal i'm just like#that'd just be true#that'll just be true#i am genuinely post-season 5 gonna find as many people as i can who haven't seen it and make them watch it#and keep me posted on their reactions#it'll be my main source of entertainment#motivation to make new friends also#i work a gig job so i'll keep getting great turnover too
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I'm gonna just post Twitter updates for the time being... I'm still a little burnt out on posting updates but I don't want to completely get out of the habit and Twitter updates are usually the easiest to post
#instagram updates are usually a bit more interesting/people tend to interact with them more#but theyre honestly such a pain bc u cant download stuff directly#plus honestly a lot of their ig posts lately have been various brand deals which i honestly dont care about#and it may sound silly but it gets a bit depressing for me to have to keep posting it#not saying theres anything wrong with it#its just one of those aspects of the fandom im not as interested in#and when that's like.. the main thing im interacting with via updates it does not feel fun#i want to try and catch up with chinalines variety shows theyve been doing recently#so i might livepost some reactions/funny things while im watching bc i think that will be more fun#i definitely haven't lost interest in svt im super pumped to see them in concert agin even if jun wont be there :')#i just think i need to take a step back and reevaluate how im interacting with the fandom so its a bit more fun#and feels like less of a chore#thank you for being patient with me!#melia.txt
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ive already shown this to anyone who actually cares pretty much loll (anyone following the addison arg) but i might as well post it on here
this is actually the first proper animation ive done :'D like other than this ive animated a ball bouncing but that was more to test the software than anything,, lucky for me i consume animation memes more than i consume water so i know the basics B)
#i need to drink hmm#ok im gonna ramble in the tags about the process because i like rambling#that frame where hes looking down and saying “we're coming” was actually the first frame i did#this was gonna be a stupid meme wtf happened#i can show you the first image it was just joking about how quickly everything had escalated lmao#then i drew that and was like#“woag;;;;; ook so like what if i animated this”#twas GRUELING#it may not have seemed like it bc i didnt mention it when i was wokring on it but i wanted to keep it a surprise lol#anyways im finally free from this stupid animation I CAN DRAW PIN!!!#i ended up redrawing the first frame once or twice because it looked really really bad#then the last ones im still kinda unsatisfied with but i couldnt be arsed to change them#im still unhappy with the way he jolts his head back it feels weird#thing is because of my insistence to keep that one really cool frame in there i had to do it#basically i needed a way to get him from hunched over to back straight looking down with his face hidden at one point#and it ideally had to look very unnatural that was the general goal#but idk i thought that line where Slick called Addon blue bell was really FUCKING COOL#also in a voice message Turnip acknowledged the static#SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT URUAHGH GURAH GH GHH#YES!!! THE STATIC!!!! I DID DO STATICCC!!!!!#also i know thats probably not what Slick possessing Turnon looked like but thats how i visualised it lol#I was binging tawog while watching this B)#OK actual tag time woag#animation#beginner animator#addison oc#turn off the lights arg#not my oc#addisons deltarune#my eyes hurt
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My rude-ass coworker continues to be a petty piece of work 😒
#I need y’all to know. she. NEVER. EVER. EVERRRRR. cleans her desk off. just sits and gets to working.#I however clean my area off religiously every single day for like 15 minutes#this woman will kill a fly with her bare hands and then not even wash them and just keeps working#SO TELL ME WHY SHE MADE A BIG SHOW OF GETTING A BUNCH KF PAPER TOWELS AND SITTING DIRECTLY IN MY LINE OF SITE WATCHING ME CLEAN#WAITING FOR THE BOTTLE. AND THEN WHEN I GAVE IT TO HER SHE METICULOUSLY CLEANED HER WHOLE DESK OFF. TELL ME WHY.#don’t tell me I already know: she wanted ME to have to wait for the bottle. because she’s a bitch.#(I gave it to her before I was done bc i take a long time cleaning.)#(and despite everything im not a bitch)#(not that much of one anyway)#I know she did it to spite me specifically 😒😒😒#AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT I DID TO PISS HER OFF SO BAD EXCEPT. BE CHEERFUL?????? WE WERE CONPLETELY FINE!!!!#and then I had one day off and when I came back she wouldn’t soeak to anyone or look at me#I WASNT EVEN AT WORK THE NIGHT SHIT HIT THE FAN GUYS#gods damn it. she’s gone next month for vacation I can’t fucking wait
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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barely an hour at work and already on the brink of another breakdown i need to quit this fucking job and/or perhaps kill myself
#my boss told me i work too much overtime and i agree but also i am literally the only trained person on kitchen and unless we're fully#booked im alone and have to do everything myself and if theres a task i cant finish its waiting there for me tomorrow to pick back up plus#literally everything else bc everything in this hotel is fucking broken so i cant even do everything on time like this fucking dishwasher is#now broken for the what?? tenth time this summer???? hello???? so the dishes keep piling up and up and up and i have to do them later#whenever the technician shows up but that all goes toward extra time that i cant do certain tasks#pkus the night guard is incompetent as fuck every single morning theres so many mistakes i need to fix and i always have to clean up his#parts as well bc he never finishes breakfast on time and then leaves the kitchen looking like a mess#and the buffet looks like shit bc even though i tell him a million times how hes supposed to put things he keeps doing them differently and#BADLY on top of that so the buffet looks like someone just threw up some food on it in random order like i cant keep coming an hour early#just to hold your hand through the process of putting prepared food in the designated spaces youve been here for a month now at some point#youre gonna have to be able to fucking do this every time i come an hour early thats an hour i work longer every day bc of course all the#cleaning up after breakfast is done doesnt get any shorter#and then on top of THAT apparently im now responsible for ordering shit for the entire hotel and running meetings and oh yeah im also#supposed to watch over reception tomorrow WHILE doing breakfast. fantastic. thats gonna go so well i cant wait 👍🏻#and im also working on sunday btw. so cool. bc clearly im so well adjusted and also mentally stable that i dont need a weekend or whatever.#and its fully booked with one of the most important businesses in town so like no pressure no pressure#and of course the boss is on vacation bc she somehow is always on vacation during the busiest days which is also so cool of her to do#also did i mention no one is ever gonna love me and ill die alone bc i only fall for people i can never be with#but also thats cool and chill and i dont even care 👍🏻
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having shri’iia thoughts as one does bc GUESS who’s save file completely died when the new patch came out nooo we have to replay her again 🤭 alas. just stewing on the thought of how she never got to fuck her Mistress even though she wanted to…!!!! like she was out there getting psychologically tortured and mind broken but she was just like WHY won’t you fuck me im literally doing everything for you. which is so bad for her, woman who already has an excruciatingly low self worth because she missed the mark on the standard for lolth’s children (and that’s worse than not fitting in the standard at all) by something out of her own control btw (not being born in a noble house) but she’s been recognised and blessed by her goddess, and she’s been invited to join a drow house so everything should be good right?? she should be desirable right?? finally everything is correct and well and good and the way it should be right????? but no..!! it’s not..!! and so she’s doing everything for this woman, no dignity left, literally doing anything to get her approval, to be told that she’s finally enough, and she’s finally fitting in - and she gets it sometimes, she gets ignored most times tbh and it’s just this painful excruciating stew of self loathing and insecurity that she’s in, and she’s in there for a century but the thing is she can’t even give up. it’s not in her nature to. and she’s done too much to just give up , and she’s been doing this for a long time that she can’t give up and lolth didn’t raise no quitters so she sticks by it, trying to achieve that hopeless praise. but then one day she gets dropped like nothing, everything she’s done and suffered and worked towards and sacrificed gets thrown out bc her goddess isn’t pleased with her and good luck going home btw you’re not welcome here anymore bc ur pathetic. the rug gets pulled under her feet and she’s left in this strange world that she can barely navigate in let alone speak the language and u expect her to b fine with that…?
#I rlly want to. hmm maybe make a comic or draw something abt shri’iia in the tiefling party#^ bc that is the turmoil currently and she’s PANICKING …!!!!#but she can’t show it. she can’t give herself away. so she gets DRUNK. and she’s in her corner chugging down wine#also like the idea there that she undoes her braid bc her hands aren’t steady enough to put it back to her usual style#and maybe it keeps getting caught lol. so hair down shri’iia 🤭🥳 and her hair is wavy going down near her feet 🥳#hair down drunk shri’iia who looks like she’s having so much fun but if you look at her properly her eyes are rabid#and if u just watch her she’ll just stare at her hands with the most haunted expression#but if someone gets close to her she’ll go back to smiling and laughing and it’s so fun woohoo 🥳#but if someone invites her for a chat she doesn’t want that. just fuck her please the last woman she’s with never did even#though she always got her off. and when she does sleep someone she gets disarmed and bewildered that it’s mutual#and someone else makes her come after how many years#and that in itself is so dreadful that she can’t think about it so she’s like can you drain me again. like what u did before idc just go#for it idcccc and astarion is like. mid dissociating just going through his motions caught off guard bc this is the first time he’s#gonna be drinking someone and fucking them so . unsure what he feels about that chat let’s put a pin on it. does drink her albeit much more#demure than before. he doesn’t wanna go overboard. only doing What he Needs to Do. like hag romance first time rlly is about#the deceit and using each other for their own agenda. so when the act 3 graveyard comes around it’s like a redo of their first time bc#they’re both aware! and present! and there’s no pretense! and I like the idea that shri’iia actually confesses after like when they’re#holding each other. admits that she was actually scared of her own feelings bc it’s new. doesn’t know what to do with it. she’s very aware#of how she loves and her devotion and she doesn’t want to subject him to do bc it’s a Lot#but she wants to learn. and she wants to give her love if he wants it (just want to know if ur capable of love!!!!!)#and it’s this SWEET confession in my head augh aughhh 😭😭😭😭😭😭 maybe I’ll just do a comic of the graveyard scene lol#bc in my head. it’s a bit different. 🤭🤭 and I like it a lot heheheheh…..#shut up about bg3.#bg3 spoilers#oc: shri’iia.
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okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds
#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys#im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF)#+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as:#I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone#but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring)#but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying.#right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch)#(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation)#but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner??#it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!!#in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes#but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek..#the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad...#follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical#(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.)#god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog#lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc#go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them??#and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum#SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY
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