#but keep the a sphere art coming i'm eating all that shit UP

[katiekatdragon27]

Guys what is this book and what is the Bill on it? All I know is gay shapes-

A. Sphere: I'm not calling you "Good Boy" A. Square, that court case was SHIT.

Me earlier: Wow! The Book of Bill just came out, that's cool ig.

Everyone recently: *being super active in the tag, watching the movies, relogging and liking my art*

Me: *me carrying some small doodles over* WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???

Thanks for bringing me back to brainrot by spam-liking all my old posts guys I forgive none of you (/J I LOVE YOU ALL)

More stuff below cut (BE WARNED NEW FLAT-PEOPLE SOME OF IT IS LOWKEY SPOILERY):

A. Square and A. Faux Line: Damn, that circle kinda a hottie- ...

I had this silly idea after my 29374th time watching Flatland that a majority of the first part of the movie is just A. Sphere watching all the shit go down like the worst telenovela you've ever seen. Also, that A. Line was originally going to be the apostle, but... uh... she can't really do that anymore, so he banks all his money on A. Square.

Also, I thought it would be super funny of A. Square and A. Faux Line both crushed on A. Sphere when he first showed up lol. Crazy smooth priest spawns and everyone swoons.

Older Hex doodles too. I love Hex, they're such a real one the whole time. With all the faults of Sphereland, I do like Hex maining in that one. But I also like picking and choosing which things I take as canon in my own work, so you get young adult Hex with their totally not-romantically-involved-with-at-all partner Punto (P. Octagon).

It's been a bit since Flatland happened in this hypothetical, so A. Square's still around. He's trying to be supportive of his masc-nonbinary kid who likes kissing boys, but still has to be annoying with dad jokes and the occasional backhanded compliment. He means well tho.

A. Tesseract: Hello A. Square!

A. TESSERACT OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU POOKIE <3333. She's probably one of my most favorite ocs I've made (and the one that gets the most art <3) She's also the one I feel the least awkward about shoving into the source material lol. I yearn to work on A Heightlander's Escape again, but we'll see.

I just wanted to draw something cute between her and A. Square. She may or may not be the voice at the end of the movie hmmmmmmmm.

At least A. Square would end up in good hands.

"There is always something beyond. There is always INFINITY."

Just a little doodle of smth I may or may not render cuz I really like how it looks. There is always something greater after all.

Thank you all for the recent support on those old-ish drawing, y'all made my week tbh. I have a new AU cooking for this so look forward to that lol. Have a good one :)))

[aewrie]

alright ramble time (about 'ai' generators)

like, at this point i've kinda given up hope on the average non-creative person holding any kind of respect for arts of any kind. this 'ai' garbage has been an ongoing thing in the visual art sphere for a long while now, and it's more recently hitting hitting other areas. working artists on twitter had been screaming in frustration about all this for months before it started affecting anyone else on a large scale. basically no one cared.

there's authors, musicians, etc, using machine generated visuals for their covers, graphics, what have you, and not seeing an issue with it. only now that their work is at risk because the text/music generators (less so with music bc unhinged copyright systems are in place to protect not musicians but corporations) are getting to the same point as the image ones have been for some time now, there's suddenly concern. and oopsie, again it's the people whose livelihoods aren't at risk, whose passions aren't being ridiculed as frivolous and pointless (if a machine can do it why should a human bother at all?), who say it's no big deal. gotta keep up with the times! find a new job/hobby and quit whining.

i'm not expecting the minds of these people to change. i will be pleasantly surprised if they will, but i'm not expecting it. because they've proven that in addition to having zero respect for arts, they obviously have next to no respect for themselves, too. they gleefully gobble up the machine generated garbage. full on quantity over quality consumerism with nothing of substance, and they do not care. visual artists saw it first, people disregarding intent and meaning and human experience in art, and just not caring about the quality (or lack of thereof). people will point at jarringly horrible visual vomit and declare it great art.

and when this shit hits things like fanfics, that are generally purely done as passion projects, the lack of fucks given is painfully obvious.

there's more than one fic i'd love to see rise from the grave, but alas. ethical issues of data theft and copyright violations aside (whoo boy is that a sentence), i don't trust an algorithm would provide anything resembling a satisfactory story, with meaningful characters arcs and interactions, or clever foreshadowing, or interesting plot twists, or anything that makes a story actually good.

anything good or even decent in 'ai' art/writing/whatever comes from a human. either the machine mimicked something (stolen) closely enough for the end result to be passable for the average person, or a human came in to adjust the output until it was satisfactory. there was one self-proclaimed 'ai artist' saying he spent literal hours tweaking his image prompts. he had to put that much effort into directing the machine because the machine doesn't understand what it's doing.

it's just fundamentally sad that so many people are satisfied with so little. with the internet we have so much art and entertainment at our fingertips and they choose that? like going to a fancy restaurant and getting half-frozen microwaved chicken nuggets that look like they have bits of plastic in them served to you, and saying it's perfect, no point anyone learn cooking for any reason when you can eat this instead. fire all chefs and replace them with robots that microwave everything, and take a huge dump on anyone who enjoys cooking of good food outside monetary gain.

every single person who criticizes this shit even if they're not directly impacted restores my faith in humanity a tiny bit, but holy fuck. this is a sad, miserable mess.

[dzpenumbra]

11/6/22

I'm not as high as I've been getting tonight. Not that that's a problem... just an observation. Today has been... non-traditional. I made a new friend, which is pretty awesome. Got to talk life and common hobbies and learn about astrology and reconnect with poetry. It was just a really nice day all around.

It's really hard to convey to others the massive change in energy flow throughout my day when there are other humans involved. That sounds so fucking hippy-like to say, but like... even if you're not into spiritualism, I'm talking about like... ATP. Like potential energy, like you drink coffee to give you energy, you run out of energy you feel tired, you sleep and eat to recharge energy, that energy. We all talk about it, every day, so maybe we can be a little less eye-rolly when people say "you're throwing off my energy, man." Because we can all relate. There are some people that charge you up, there are some that get charged up by you, there are some that drain you, there are some that get drained by you. It's just kinda how things work, and it's insanely complicated and I don't wanna pretend I know the first thing about it, but we all know you can really feel it when you're around someone who charges you up. Who inspires you. Who gets excited with you, and gets you excited. It's something that I gravitate towards and I cherish the moments they are present, even if they can sometimes be fleeting.

But having been in isolation so long, I've had a few false starts with things like this. My grumpy self-doubt side comes along and goes... yeah... give it a few months, they'll get pissed off about something about you. And he can just fuck off for a while. I think we all have that side, and yeah, he might have some evidence from experiences with other people. But I try really hard to give everyone a fair chance based on their merits, based on their choices and their intentions. So if I really want the world to try not to judge me, I need to make sure my judgement is a reaction as well, not preemptive.

So my day was kind of a whirlwind. Kinda... just swept by. I wandered all over the house today. While exchanging messages, I sanded some new stones. I worked on a piece of petrified wood, some blue mineral that needs to be shaped a bit and a softer black stone that smells like a bit like it has sulfur in it - I just tried looking it up and couldn't find out what it is. The black one is pretty much cleaned up and done.

I made some food and moved into the studio, I brought my hoodie but I didn't keep the attention span enough to work on it tonight. I read a bunch of cool excerpts from books that were sent to me, I looked up the hours of the Michael's closest to me - like a 30 minute drive one-way. I saw they have Instacart, I was very tempted to say fuck it and get shit delivered. Art/craft stores are like... my fucking shit. I loaded a cart with a bunch of different types of hemp twine, I found a bunch of mineral beads like Tiger's Eye and Amazonite and black Banded Agate. But all it took was one crack in the dam. I saw that some of the beads advertised as minerals were actually glass. A lot were dyed. Some were advertised as stuff like Moonstone, but were actually lab-grown minerals that look similar. I got really bummed. I started removing all the minerals from my cart, didn't know if I could trust them. If I'm going to make something special for someone, I'm not going to cut corners on materials for them. I want real leather. I want good quality, well-processed hemp twine. I want real minerals, guaranteed. I don't have to hand-process every piece of the jewelry I make. I don't have to smelt the copper and form it into wires and then shape it, unless I want to. I don't have to carve the wooden beads by hand (though I actually could...) okay... bad example... um... I don't have to shape mineral beads by hand, because making perfect spheres and drilling through them is... well it helps a LOT to have the right tools. So I'm going to try to source minerals from a more reputable dealer, one that doesn't go for the cheapest option available. And I remember the thought running through my head, "it's kinda a little weird that I'm gonna get way higher quality shit on Etsy than from an actual arts and crafts store, let alone a franchise." But c'est la vie.

Then I looked at the suggested delivery tip for like $30 of hemp twine - like 7 bucks. I was just like... yo, I would NOT do a 30 minute delivery trip for some dude for 7 bucks. That's kinda fucked. And I felt really weird tipping the driver like... the price of the twine... But... My car still isn't inspected... So if I drive up tomorrow, I risk a ticket. If I get delivery, I pay twice the cost, or I screw over a delivery driver. Or... I order from Etsy and just wait a few days. I think I'll look into that tomorrow.

I really need to figure the car out though, might just set up a backup appointment with the dealership and see if I can reach the vintage car restorer dude with all the minerals and everything like... whenever I can get my social anxiety to fuck the hell off. That way I'm covered either way, I can always cancel.

I did some stretches and shit with my foam roller. I swear to god, I cannot recommend foam rollers high enough. Once you really start to understand what it is and what it does, they're great. I did a bunch of rolls and stretches and massages on my hips and sacrum, my hamstrings and eventually stretched a bit of my shoulders and neck too. I felt so much better, I had no idea how bad my back and hips had been getting.

I want to fix my posture. It's really bad. And keep doing like regular stretches and stuff. Being sedentary and having PTSD really fucked with my body, it really took a huge toll on my joints, tendons, muscles, nerves, all of it. I'm lucky I'm still young enough to pretty easily bounce back, but dude, it starts getting a lot tougher once you get past... I don't know... 30? Especially if you're not active. And I don't mean like... go to the gym for an hour every day but spend the rest of the day sitting on your ass at a desk. Like... "up and moving throughout the day" active. If you're not, something's gonna start locking up and carrying stress, and once you find those spots and start unlocking them... holy shit is it like... a giant breath of relief.

Like I've had these knots in my shoulders since... as far back as I can remember. Massages are literally my favorite thing in the world. They are really hard for me because I am extremely tactilely sensitive - natural sensitivity plus trauma plus being in a family that does not show physical affection at all, not much affection of any kind to be honest. It makes physical touch very overwhelming for me, but something unfathomably sacred to me. Beautifully powerful, reverent. Therein lies some pretty deep trauma when that sanctity is... misused. Maybe let's say... undervalued? Underappreciated? I digress...

I remember getting massages when I fucked up my shoulder from lifting heavy boxes of frozen shit when I was a full-time baker at a bagel shop. The doctors (you know, my neighbors in the 4000 person town I had been living in since I was 10...) refused to give me muscle relaxers or anything because I was a male in my mid-20's wearing a black hoodie with a beard who smoked cigarettes. Like the doctor literally told me to my face that I was drug seeking and asked me to leave. When I could barely lift the boxes I needed to lift to do my job. This was like 10 fucking years ago too, man. Good lord. Like... just get to know your fucking neighbors and you'll know real fucking quick which ones actually have drug problems and which ones are actually just trauma kids who are trying really hard to stay on the Good path. The Jedi path.

So because I couldn't get any kind of med at all to help, and not even a diagnosis... I went to a masseuse, one that my mom had seen before. I had like never done that before. And she was kinda cute, not really my type but, it didn't hurt. The poor woman, in hindsight I probably reeked of cigarettes every time I went in there, I would 100% smoke on the drive over. Whatever. XD Gotta get some insecurity in there, right?

I'm getting to the knots, I promise. So this woman gives me a massage and comes across my shoulder knots. See, my shoulders have always popped. Sometimes several times. Now, they pop like 3 distinct times on my right shoulder alone. All knots. She explained where they were, she said she had never felt anything like that before. I blushed. XD Aw shucks, ma'am. I'm... naked under a towel and you're telling me you've never felt something that big before. Oh my... This ain't that kind of story, trust me. She said my knot in my shoulder (I think I had one at the time) was like the size of a raspberry or a small grape. She tried to work on them a bit, but obviously when they get that bad it can take a bit more work than just... one massage.

So... that whole story was a round-about way of giving the history that my shoulders have always been like... a focal point for my stress. And my jaw and neck. And my posture has been shit, so my neck is pretty well fucked from that too. So I started doing a little neck stretching and shoulder opening and it made me feel things I haven't felt in a long-ass time. I've spent so much time fixating on my hips and lower back that I basically just skipped over my neck and especially my shoulders. I rarely stretch them. Skating is all leg and hip stretches for me.

So... note to self: do regular posture adjustment using a DIY posture board (a piece of wood angled up with a book), and do regular neck/shoulder opening stretches. Here's the kicker - do them in the place of smoking a cigarette. So if the "I want a cigarette break" urge ever crops up, allow it, and redirect it into "I want to stretch a bit". And take some damn deep breaths too. Smoking was good for forcing me to pay attention to my breathing and regulate it. So that can be a nice addition, a nice substitute.

I was trying to find a good yoga app, but they all seemed expensive and targeted towards people that aren't like me. So... I don't know, I was discouraged. To install and sign up for an app, then have them just prompt me for a credit card before I even know what the app offers. Like I get it, but idk man. I just stepped away. The dude whose videos I watched today was from some chiropractic and rehabilitation place it seemed, somewhere in Michigan I think. He seemed very focused on doing stretches and stuff safely and cautiously, which appealed to my inner self-helicopter parent. And the stretches made an immediate difference. So if you're having neck and back pain, I think it's worth getting ahead of it and adding in some basic stretches. It takes 60 days to build a habit, they say. 2 months. So if I can get a good routine together, and a good schedule, I can ring in the new year with some much healthier coping mechanisms and rituals.

Max played a lot today. I mean, now that I'm talking about it, she was a bit of a nut today. In all good ways. She went exploring in a rotating cabinet and got sorta stuck for a minute while I was cooking, and luckily I heard her and let her out and she purred. She played 3 damn times today with these new toys that are like toys on a fishing rod and fishing line. And I used to fish topwater for largemouth bass back before I became a bleeding heart, so I know all about how to maneuver bait for an apex predator. In fact, in the future, I might just put a toy on an actual fishing rod instead of just having it statically attached, so I can cast and reel it. Pure predators are so fun to play with, so interesting, it's a rush. I love playing with Max again. I feel bad I didn't for a really long time, but again... regrets... we all have them... and all we can do is do our best right now.

This time change kinda threw me off, I had no idea what day it was... I saw a message at like 1:30 AM, then my response later was at 1:00 AM... and I was like... um... what the fuck? So... that's a trip. So I guess it should be 7 right now? But it's 6? I don't know. I'm really lost in time today.

And to really amplify that theme, I watched a few videos on Frank Zappa's The Black Page, and David Bruce's The Blacker Page, and really complex rhythmic patterns and stuff. Talk about lost in time... Try nested tuplets. That shit... I swear unless you've been studying music theory for a decade, you might as well just try your best to imitate the sound of it. I can't even conceptualize a triplet nested in a septuplet. It just makes my brain fizzle. But listening to really cool organic polyrhythms and stuff puts me in a really cool mood. Rhythm affects me very strongly.

So I reeeeally want to figure out how to map my fucking drum kit to Cubase so I can record these drum beats. I've been tapping on my damn thighs for days now, all I want is to just... record some MIDI loops. Really wanna break through that wall, it's going to be so relieving. And then... then I can start really entertaining the real possibility of a new album.

It's late, I'm going to sleep. This is me sending an inspired smile out to the world. I hope we all can find a little relief from our burdens tomorrow, if only for a little bit. It is supposed to be the day of rest, after all, so... even if you're not religious - I'm really not - try to break through the cynicism and explore why rest/recovery, spending time with community and family, recuperating for an entire day of the week, would be something so deeply valued by so many cultures that it is considered part of one's responsibility in service of a higher power. I'd say it's kinda important.