#but it's whatever maybe they've improved since idk

[raihanstrapinch]

I swear the book fair was never this cool when I was a kid!! 😭

[atthebell]

do you have any recommendations/resources to learn spanish?? i've been using busuu for about 104 days now, imo opinion it's actually pretty fun and i like it but i think my main problem with it is that it goes too fast?? it's hard to explain. it's also started to feel kinda repetitive to me. i still love busuu and i'm going to continue with my course, but it'd be nice to also have something else. like, preferably not an app, maybe a textbook or a website or something :D i don't really WHERE to find resources for language learning, despite being bilingual, i never really had to look on the internet to learn the languages i speak now, i picked it up from the people around me you know?

i've also been ''using'' duolingo but tbh, i really hate it. it feels boring to me, everyday it's ''ok what sentence am i going to be forced to write for the 40th time today?'' the single 'square' has 5 lessons and a 'unit' has around 10-8 of those squares and to finish a 'unit' you have to do about 50-45 of those lessons, which is shit because a 'unit' is only going to teach about 3 sentence structures and if you're lucky maybe 5. it's so shit, those greedy fuckers basically made it unusable. i've been using for about 140 days now, every single day i take at least one lesson, and it STILL has not taught me a SINGLE spanish tense. btw, i even had an entire phase where i would finish UNITS in about an hour and a half (1 min or less for every lesson) and still not a single ''pretérito Indefinido'' actual pain 🫠🫠 one day ll delete that app, one day (i guess that's why i like busuu in the first place, it actually teaches you these tenses and even some slang while duolingo makes you write ''papá, quiero visitar a nuestra abuela'' for the 700th time this week)

i want to watch vods and stuff, but tbh, i feel way too embarrassed? like, i don't know enough spanish to really understand them and even when they say basic sentences that i understand, i still have to listen to it multiple times and slow down the clip for me to really get it. the thing with spanish is that i'll understand the meaning of the words being said but i need to take a second or so to really comprehend what they mean together you know? i don't want to have to watch the stream slowed down because that would definitely make me feel stupid 😭 maybe when i have better spanish i'll start watching vods. although i do listen to spanish songs sometimes, it's fun :D

first thing: you don't have to feel embarrassed about needing time to process things/needing to listen to things slowed down. language learning is difficult and there are a lot of obstacles for many people; this is something i do understand and want to stress that i get that it's hard. you are not a bad person or an idiot or whatever for having a hard time understanding things-- you are still learning, and besides that, sometimes hearing things isn't someone's strong suit (it absolutely did not use to be mine, but i've practiced a lot and gotten much better at it. i'm still much much better at reading text in other languages, but it is something you can always improve on). if you need to take extra time to watch things, that is not a personal fault of yours nor does it make you stupid. everyone has different skill sets, and you can always practice to get better.

second thing: my own criticisms of both busuu and duolingo, along with their strengths. duolingo first, because i've used it since like. idk like 2016? not consistently but i've used it far more over the years and i'm very familiar with various changes they've made and the esp, ptbr, and french courses. busuu ive only been using for a few months

to get it out of the way, the recent change to laying off translators and using more AI in lessons. this sucks, obviously, for a myriad of reasons. machine translation cannot match with human translation, and frankly never will be able to. there are vast amounts of nuance and cultural context necessary for translation, along with the fact that an AI led course does not actually hit on all the things someone needs, particularly on a basics/foundational level. and from an ethical standpoint, laying off a ton of human translators because you think you can replace them with inaccurate machine translation sucks and is why so many people have dropped duolingo, myself included.

duolingo also has limitations in terms of format-- it gamifies language learning, which can make it feel more accessible to people and makes people want to open it and practice every day. however, most people use duolingo to do one lesson once a day and that's it. they're not getting in practice from lessons previously completed, they're not drilling vocab or conjugations, they're not actually maintaining or even remembering what they've already learned. obviously there are people (like myself, when i still used the app) who practice far more than that and continue to drill previous lessons, but that's not the majority, and it's not incentivized by the app. the paywalling of completing certain lessons and being able to drill error words also sucks for this reason. basically duolingo is not an ideal setup for actually maintaining knowledge once you go through it the first time and also the way the courses are laid out just. does not, imo, actually make sense. they rarely actually explain what they're trying to teach you and they don't get into enough detail on most concepts. and there is no incentive to review, which is hugely important. not an ideal situation for language learning, especially on its own.

my pros for duolingo: it gets you to practice daily. this is honestly what i use busuu for at this point-- when i get a notif for it, i open it up and flick through a lesson, but i also pull out a textbook or two to look at things there and practice stuff. if whipping out duolingo every day helps you practice a language, that is, at bare minimum, something. preferably you should be studying for at least 15min if not up to an hour or more of a language a day in order to really pick things up and maintain them; you can absolutely use duolingo or busuu for that (busuu i think is far less well formatted and oftentimes the lessons are very specific vocab, at least in the later courses).

for busuu, my issues are like. it's a poorly made imitation of duolingo, aside from a few things. the community aspect is something i REALLY like-- being able to send an exercise to a native speaker and get feedback on what to work on is great, especially with how it's a short answer question that lets you form your own sentences and try out vocab in context. that's a wonderful feature, and i really think it gets at something duolingo is completely missing.

but yeah like i said in terms of the lessons, busuu has very strange ways of teaching things. firstly, it's usually super specific topics and vocab that aren't paired with anything conceptually that helps you progress. usually in a language course, it's best to pair a concept you're working on with either relevant vocab or something that can be used to talk about similar subjects/in similar ways (for instance, subjunctive with food/restaurant vocab, so that you can build sentences both with the new vocab and using the new verbal form in ways that make sense, i.e. "I'll have whatever she's having, If I were to order the pasta, I would get a salad too," "If I were richer, I would always order filet mignon" (side note subjunctive is very difficult for eng speakers so idk if these examples actually make sense 😭))

also busuu will repeatedly teach me something phrased one way or with a certain word and then mark me wrong and insist i use a completely different word/phrase. i cannot figure out why it keeps doing this it's very frustrating. and it has recently been teaching me some european portuguese which is not what the course is supposed to be so i'm just baffled by what's going on there.

another positive for busuu, at least in contrast to duolingo, is it teaches you the vocab and phrases before quizzing you on them, which duolingo does not do. this is like a positive and also an "eh, idk" because i get why duolingo does that-- it's trying to throw you into using surrounding context to figure out what a word means, and that's a very good way to practice, but i think it doesn't necessarily achieve it well and sometimes will just spring random words on you without enough context for you to know what it's referring to without just clicking on the word anyway.

also neither app are good at teaching you verb conjugation or tenses which is really unfortunate for spanish and portuguese in particular, as they're both languages where verbs are really really key AND where understanding tenses and their names are important, particularly for native eng speakers who never got taught tense names or like. any terminology for languages in english 🙃

also here is a thing i wrote up complaining about duolingo & verbs ages ago: Duolingo does not teach you things explicitly. It expects you to pick them up in a semi-immersive style, which works okay most of the time for most people but for many people makes actually learning and understanding parts of a language very difficult. For instance, it won't teach you the exact difference in usage between ser and estar, in Spanish or Portuguese. This difference is something I spent weeks on in Spanish class in high school and continued to review the rest of my time learning Spanish in an academic setting-- it is a key element of two of the most important words in the language. Duolingo also doesn't explain stem changes or irregular verbs and their typical endings-- it simply expects you to pick these up and memorize them through sentence usage. Basically it's very obvious Duolingo was created by english speakers who were never taught key elements of their own language (this is not a dig on their personal fault; i was also never taught any of this shit about english) and don't know how to go about teaching a language, and the limited format doesn't help.

third thing, finally getting to what you actually asked: there are a lot of resources for learning spanish online! i'm not as familiar with them as i'd like, as i learned spanish in an academic setting, but i'll do my best to list some things out and anyone else can feel free to add on. i've been meaning to make a language learning advice post for literally ages and i guess this is going to become it lmao.

here is a video explaining how to make duolingo work for you along with other resources: A Linguist explains how to make duolingo actually work (tl;dr pair duolingo with conversation partners, textbook work, listening to music, watching movies, etc. etc.)

i've tagged this with my language learning tag, which has a bunch of resources including some specifically for learning spanish.

tumblr user salvador bonaparte has a drive of free textbooks you can check out here, including a ton of spanish resources. i also recommend looking around the internet/specifically linguistics tumblr to find more resources as well as looking at used bookstores/amazon/etc. for spanish textbooks to use, as that will provide a more thorough foundation along with other programs/types of learning.

i've never used babbel or any other online program like it, but spanish tends to be one of the more resource-heavy languages because it's so widely spoken, so typically spanish programs on various apps/sites are REALLY thorough (duolingo's spanish program is by far their best course, with a ton more resources than most other programs. you can go up to the equivalent of at least c2 on there i believe, versus many other languages where they don't even list the CEFR levels)

finally, the not-so-online answer: if you're in college/have a nearby community/junior college, consider taking spanish classes there! this option probably costs the most out of any others, but i genuinely think an academic setting is the a great way to learn a language for many people. if you're not one of them, that is totally fine, but an actual spanish course at a college is likely to be the most thorough way to learn the language. also many CCs/JCs offer spanish classes online, so if you can't drive or for whatever reason can't go to in-person courses, you'll likely still have options.

this is everything i can think of right now but i also want to add once again that learning a language is difficult!!! i know that, and i know that i complain a lot about monolinguals, but i am specifically complaining about people who refuse to engage respectfully with languages that are not their own and dismiss anything they don't understand as being stupid/not worth their time/culturally worthless. i am not complaining about people like you, who are trying really hard to engage with non-english content AND are trying really hard to learn another language.

i also think learning languages is one of the most incredible experiences there are and that expanding the kinds of cultural and social boundaries that you engage with is a really important facet of humanity that i wish more people would participate in. i get riled up because this is something i'm really truly passionate about, not because i think anyone is stupid or whatever for not learning. i want people to just try it and give it a chance, even if it's hard for them, and i'm glad that you are trying, anon. <333

[doubledyke]

Who do you think is more active and who is more passive in eddeddy? (when they are adults of course)

i'm not a relationship expert so take all of this with a grain of salt. but my opinion, based on their very general personalities is that overall edd is more active and eddy is more passive. not a shocking revelation by any means. but honestly they might kind of trade those roles back and forth depending on the issue.

i think edd would prefer and genuinely enjoy being the one to handle the Big Stuff. things like finances, appointments, insurance, home improvement and maintenance (the boring structural stuff), etc. not that eddy is totally incompetent, or that edd doesn't trust him, but he has a particular way of handling things and wouldn't be able to rest worrying that something was late, missed or that even a minute of rumination was spared before a big decision was made.

same with cleaning. eddy appears to be a fairly tidy person already, based on his childhood room, and he'd inevitably pick up some of edd's habits once they've been living together. so they keep a very neat home in general, but when it comes to the use of any chemical stronger than idk maybe a lysol wipe, edd handles it. eddy accidentally making mustard gas is such a funny image in my head.

of course, eddy's active in meal planning and preparation while edd is passive, eating whatever eddy makes, brings home, etc. edd's very much the person who feels hungry but never knows what they want to eat. left to his own devices he'd subsist on water, plain oatmeal and like... a string cheese. or just ignore his hunger entirely. so he's happy to let eddy take charge and have fewer decisions to make throughout the day. plus, eddy's a great cook, so it works out.

eddy's also in charge of aesthetics, whether it's home decor or helping edd expand his wardrobe. eddy's a maximalist, while edd's a minimalist, so they butt heads on a lot of things. but eddy's a brat and manages to get his way about 85% of the time. their living room is giving:

minus the dog cuz they don't own pets (til ed moves in with his ratties 💚)

if it was up to edd, he'd own exactly 5 of his signature hats, 4 pairs of shoes (formal, casual, utility, and of course his house shoes) however many pairs of underwear and socks come in a value pack, 3 pairs of sensible pants, 2 pairs of shorts, 3 long sleeve shirts, 5 short sleeve, and so on. no logos, no wild patterns or colors, no frills. eddy wonders how he lives like this. it's not necessarily that eddy dresses edd, but gives him more, interesting options to choose from at the very least. they have been known to coordinate outfits from time to time too. embarrassing.

i imagine eddy being the more active one when it comes to entertainment, specifically planning date nights or vacations. he knows edd's stress tells and is quick to intervene with the suggestion that they go out or take a weekend trip together.

when it comes to relational issues, it's reasonable to assume that either of them might be passive or active depending on the matter at hand. they both come off as the passive aggressive type, but eddy's perhaps a bit more...aggressive. more likely to blurt out what he's thinking without much sugar coating. if it's really serious, edd will dance around the issue, hemming and hawing, or even ignore something entirely. only for a while, since his passivity comes back to bite him in the ass when his annoyance reaches a boiling point and he lashes out in one way or another. he's learning to be more direct but it's a process.

i know it seems like i think edd is more passive but overall i'd say it's a good mix between them, and that eddy's slightly more passive. cuz he knows and trusts that edd will take care of the really important stuff and that every i will be dotted, and every t crossed. he's happy not to have to make those decisions, too much pressure. and edd needs to have control over those major things and is fine with letting eddy take charge of things that add some much needed enrichment to his life and their life together. he would very easily let that kind of stuff fall by the wayside otherwise.

shout out to @eddbedandeddy who influenced a lot of these and other headcanons i have regarding edd & eddy's relationship.

but yeah that's about it. i don't know what words mean so sorry if i don't get everything right. but it's fun to share ed-canons so take it for what it is i guess.

[blueskiesfillmymind]

DUDE DUDE!!!!!!!!!

I WATCHED IT AND OML.... SO MUCH TO COVER !!!! SPOILERS AHEAD BTW !!

TW: S/A / INCEST !!! DNR IF SENSITIVE!!!

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So part 2 centers around blue's relationship w/ 2 of his abusers [Lavender and Pink]

While pink is a case of abused became abuser, Lavender feels important to talk about first,

With this first memory sequence it shows blue looking through old photos / memories between him and his sister, and lemme just say they're so adorable when they were young--

Blue's lil strand of hair curling into a question mark is both cute and sad because of the amount of gaslighting lav pushed on blue, making him doubt his surroundings and his sister

But aside from wholesome memory lane. Comes these disgusting clips

Lavender is talking about the birds and the bees with her younger and more impressionable brother. And one where she asks him if he's ever jerked off before.. EEUFGHHH--- DISGUSTANG !!!!

Lavender is such a HORRIBLE sister when it comes to how she was in the past and how she is with blue now-- what the actual fuck is wrong with HER?????

I have a small hunch that it was because of lavender's horrid mindset that lead blue growing up to either want a sexual relationship or a small jumpstart at his hypersexuality. I myself had experiences like this but its sensitive 2 me so I'mma not mention em-

Because like- LOOK AT BLUE'S STAR GAZE- he was like "woah... my sister is so cool.." and shit- LIKE NNAHHGSHS

Also also look at the way blue is when he looked back at lavender,, he looked so upset..

and the fact that lavender gave him [I think it's a porn magazine] to help him jerk off is so vile.. like- girl dont talk about these with your own brother.. tf is u on???

And she looks like she was like 17 or 18 in that flashback so henceforth making that scene all the more disgusting..

Overall just super upset with how blue had to deal with such disgusting stuff from his sister..

But now we move on to pink's relationship with blue, which keep in mind either still stays sexual or its just- otherwise eeugh..

Since this episode deals with trauma bonding, blue is now still with pink and lavender, much to my dismay.. however it does show more about pink's relationship with her husband aswell!

Pink had likely opened up about her abuse with blue, since he did ask her about it in the past, now blue sees pink in that victim light [also pink's eyes are rlly pretty in a way,,,]

Seen a theory where with pink's lack of eyes is her "turning a blind eye" from her abuse in her marriage, she focused more on how happy she was during that day instead of trying to think of her abuse, so that's why she likely has her ring painted white instead of showing its true colors,

As much as I do sympathize with pink, she's still sorta iffy in my eyes, I just wish she could improve is all,, character development arc 4 pink maybe???

Anyways- so blue and pink are arguing, it's likely from blue's attraction to lilac, to which pink says "But you're so sexual" to which he's denying it?? It could be where he's saying "I'm a changed man."

But then pink is arguing with "if you make her cry then you'll be dealing with me."

Lilac and pink are likely either really great friends or they've met eachother way back when,, either way !! Pink's willing to sacrifice anything for her best friend and I think that's a pretty cute detail,, I guess??

So then blue blocks her out and walks away from the argument, maybe because of some.. disagreements or with blue being fed up with the fight? Either way he puts the glasses back on after it

A commenter said that with blue's glasses it's his way of thinking that pink still likes him, or whatever else the heart glasses mean,

lilac ends up getting fired because of purple.. for whatever reason? Does that make purple the department's boss or- idk what it means really,,but like- yuck.

Now purple is beginning to groom blue, And with clips of purple talking with lavender her tie is slowly turning blue aswell-... I swear if I see purple its ON SIGHT. ON EFFIN SIGHT. I WANT THAT BITCH DEAD.

Overall baby hotline 2 was very uhm... something- which makes this series all the more like- mind boggling because like holy crap the lore is making me go feral,,

Loved how pink was shown and I love how everyone else was portrayed, either way! That's it for my long rant, if you need me. I'm gonna be cuddling w/ blue and comforting him <3

[pigeonwhumps]

"Did I do good?"

Immortal Cannon Fodder masterlist

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch

Whumptember day 1: "Did I do good?" | mentor whumper | young hero | blood loss

1.3k

CWs: immortal whumpee, minor whump (aged 16), hero whump, abuse, panic attack, PTSD, implied flashback, burns, accidental whump, begging, training whump, misunderstandings, low self-esteem, caretaker new whumper, phobias, Whumpee convinced whumper is helping (I have no idea what to call it – conditioning? Brainwashing? Idk)

Phoenix sits and shivers in the kitchen, shins wound around the legs of the chair. Abbie lounges in a chair opposite, arms folded, legs stretched out comfortably. Her face is stern, like it usually is, they can't tell what she's thinking. It makes them unaccountably nervous.

They'd like to get something warm. But Abbie wants to do their review before they go anywhere, and as their mentor, she gets the final say.

"So, it's the end of your first month here. How do you think you're doing?"

Phoenix swallows. That's always the hardest part of anything. How do they think they've been doing? It's tricky to answer.

"I've, um, I've been learning, sir," they say, quietly but firmly.

"Hmm. I do think you should be learning faster. After all, you've barely improved since we first met, and that was two years ago now."

"Oh. Yes, sir."

They don't mention that for most of those two years, they weren't allowed to use their powers. Abbie already knows that. Instead, they swallow hard. There's something they need to know.

"Did I do good, sir? Today? So far?"

Abbie makes a considering noise.

"You're doing okay, but I can't say more than that. You really need to improve your control over your powers. You don't want them visible all the time." Her gaze moves pointedly to their flickering arms, which they quickly cover with their sleeves. "Quite frankly I'm not sure how long it's going to take you to learn control naturally. That's what these are for."

Abbie pulls out a pair of gleaming metal cuffs and sets them on the table. Phoenix feels like a bucket of ice has been tipped down their spine, and they don't know why.

"They'll suppress your powers, except for your immortality, which is always needed. I want you to feel what it's like not to have access to your powers, so you can work towards that feeling. I think it would be good for you."

Phoenix freezes. They feel both hot and cold, unable to move, staring. No. Nonono. If it's anything like when they stopped by choice that time for weeks, they really don't want it. Abbie says it's good for them, so it should be, right? But they're not sure they can cope with that.

"Please, sir, please, I can't stand it, please, anything else, just not that, please."

"Phoenix," growls Abbie, "what did we say about talking back?"

"Not to. But please, sir, anything else, I'll do whatever you want, I'll suppress it myself, I've done it before, I can do it, please please don't make me do this."

They're frantic, spitting out whatever comes through their mind, they can't do this, they can't, they have to get out of it, it's way too much, and maybe they deserve it but they can't cope with that.

It's not long before they feel a strong heat on their arm and yelp, then scream as it heats up until it scorches.

They're not going to cry. They've been through worse, emotionally speaking, they're not going to cry.

Abbie drags them through the corridors, her hand a burning brand on their already-bruised arm, until they reach a small door. Phoenix frowns at it. What's going on?

"I'm sorry, Phoenix, but you need to learn."

"What– no! No, please! I didn't, I didn't mean to, please don't!" They scramble forward from where they hit the back wall at Abbie's push, it's no more than a foot forward, but she blocks their path, and it's pitch-black dark around the edges all of a sudden, no lights inside. "Please, please let me out! I've learnt, I promise, please–"

Abbie raises an eyebrow. "You haven't, though. You need to learn how to control your powers, and you can't do it out here, there's a danger you'll hurt us. Give me your wrists."

Phoenix sticks them out, trembling, and Abbie locks cuffs around them. Immediately they go cold, empty, like what makes them them is being sucked out of them.

"Please," they whisper. "Please, Abbie, sir, don't shut me in here."

"I'm sorry. But it's for your own good. And ours."

Phoenix sniffs. She does look regretful, but then she shuts the door, and they can't help banging on it desperately. It's so dark and small and it's terrifying, they can't stop seeing the monsters that haunt it, that haunt them every time they're shut in the dark and the cold.

But then, Abbie can't know they're scared, right? It's not her fault.

"Please," they sob, desperately, as loud as they can but still not very loud. "Please, let me out. Please, sir, I'll learn, I'll be good, please."

But despite their pleas, no-one comes, and they discover that they are going to cry after all.

_

Aaron sits Phoenix down on his bed and passes them the mug of hot chocolate, carefully wrapping their hands around it when they don't move.

"Thank you, sir," they whisper, taking a sip that reveals the slightly-chipped triceratops inside.

"Hey. It's just me, Phoenix. It's only Aaron."

"Aaron." Their eyes start to fill with recognition, and Aaron nods.

"Yeah."

"I– I– what–"

"You freaked out after you got burned in a training bout. I'm so sorry about that, by the way, I didn't– it shouldn't have gone that far. I shouldn't have left you alone with him, even though he wasn't someone we already knew would hurt you. I'm not sure what you were thinking about, but it was pretty bad. You were begging."

Phoenix swallows, looking down, away from Aaron's gaze.

"I'm sorry. Did, um, did I do good, sir?"

"Yeah." They don't mention that they always do. Phoenix won't believe that. "Can you tell me what you were thinking about? You don't have to, but I'd like to help."

Phoenix sets down the hot chocolate and twists their hands together in their lap, not looking at Aaron.

"Abbie used to help me train by, um, taking away my powers so I knew what it felt like, so I could, um, work towards it. But she did it in the dark as a punishment, and, um, it wasn't big, and so when the power went out and you tried to treat the burn it was, um, too much. Too much. Please, sir, I don't– please."

They look up at him cautiously and gulp, mistaking his look of horror and disgust for one of... thoughtfulness, maybe? He's not sure. All he knows is that Phoenix says, trying their best not to sound reluctant or scared, "You can do it too if, um, if you like. I know I, um, deserve it. Just, if it's not too much, um, to ask, please, please can you not burn me on the way, sir. It's too much, um, with that as well."

"No. God no." Phoenix badly suppresses a flinch. "No, not that way round, I– shit. I'd never hurt you or punish you in that way. That's needlessly cruel." They can think of several other words for it, but they don't want Phoenix to shut down. And they will if confronted with the reality of Abbie's treatment.

"It wasn't always bad," murmurs Phoenix. "If, um, if I was good, if I apologised and learnt well enough, Abbie would let me out early. She did that a lot early on. She was, um, she was very lenient with me, despite how much I failed."

Aaron's jaw tightens in a way that makes Phoenix's eyes flash with fear before they cover it. Aaron squeezes their hand.

"Not angry at you, I promise. You should never have been forced in there in the first place. That's not the way to train someone. Your team should never have terrorised you to try and force you to learn."

Phoenix shakes their head, curling in towards Aaron. "They didn't terrorise me. I'm fine."

Aaron raises an eyebrow. "So your claustrophobia and nyctophobia hasn't gotten worse since you started here, then?"

And Phoenix... they don't have an answer to that.

[thevagabondexpress]

categorising sport by height and weight?? i'll admit i've never heard of that one before. maybe it's just because of the sports i've grown up doing but--i'd be interested in the impacts on diversity within teams. like soccer, where we tend to have advantages in different positions and so especially a metro division all ages women's team is gonna have a really diverse makeup. it could just be adjusting pains to the concept, but with sport i'm a lot less concerned about the top 1% or whatever that gets monetised and more about equal access to every average person who wants to play and get fit and build their skills. trans girlies are def in the minority of people i've played with, but between mixed teams where unfortunately men do often tend to dominate from my experience (could be the way we're socialised though) and teams with bigger women who'd be in similar height and weight categories--idk. i find playing mixed does tend to challenge me but i need to work several times harder to keep up and that's not always sustainable. my concern would be women, especially bigger women, getting discouraged when playing in leagues with men and giving up, thus skewing the gender skew even more. whereas women's teams with trans women in them? never even a problem. but it could be that from my experience they've always been such a small percentage of the women i've played with?? idk. it's sad but i think we still do yield our opportunities to men on the field. heck, many women in hetero relationships yield their time to play sport to their male partners, instead taking on more tasks like cooking and cleaning that mean they can't make training as often and improve their skills as much. and i think we do need to address that, rather than simply not seeing gender in how we organise sports?? but this is the first i've really thought hard about this, so my view's gonna keep evolving. i do have to say. I ran the 1500 in the boys' category once in high school so they could clock my time bc i missed my race, and it was embarrassing like. i'd have made top 5 in the girls' category for my age group but i barely made the top 20 there. swimming, however, tends to not have sex differences from my limited experience--we'd race seperately but i remember all training together in hpe and we'd clock the same bell curve of times pretty much. idk. it could be me trying to survive as a female athlete and maybe i need to train harder. but i don't think i'm the only woman athlete who's felt this massive glass ceiling (not to mention gotten disappointed by our performance when on our period). and felt super encouraged when the women's world cup came to town and i didn't even get tickets because everyone went and talked about it like it was men's sports for once. i hope we can investigate the way biology impacts our athletic performance with open minded curiosity, and focus on the average person who might want to do sport more than the elite who have already made it. sorry for the big paragraph of thoughts but i trust you to sort it!! keen to hear your thoughts <3

it did take me a while to read the big paragraph but thank you. now. on my side of things, here in the us they just don't let people play sports sometimes if their bodies aren't maximized for performance in that specific game. even at low levels. kids get weeded out of little league basketball teams and told they can't play at four, five, six years old because they're "too short." if i didn't startle like a cat on cocaine any time something came near me at moderately fast speeds i'd probably make a hell of a good basketball player: i'm fast and light on my feet, and i'm good at ducking out of the way of people in a crowded space (thank you, five minute times between classes in high school and the very crowded hallways i had to navigate at almost running speeds to get places sometimes). but here in the states, since i'm only 5'1, i wouldn't have a fighting chance. my mother, who played basketball all through high school, is 5'8 and would never get on a team in the 21st century. nobody under 5'9 gets on a basketball team in the 21st century and no man under 6'2 gets into the nba. most nba players are 6'6 and over now. you can't play football or hockey unless you weigh as much as the team's bus.

the one place this doesn't matter is boxing. they do also segregate by gender in boxing but because boxing has that secondary separation by height/weight classes, anybody who wants to box can box so long as they know what they're doing. if i wanted to be a boxer i could. so i think segregating that way instead of by gender would level the playing field in a lot of ways and also open up more opportunities for more people. the trans men and women issue for instance, but it'd also offer chances for people, regardless of gender or cis/transness, to play that would never get a chance otherwise. imagine a sport like basketball getting the equivalent of a flyweight division. there'd be a chance that somebody like me could be on a team, something that would never be possible in the 21st century otherwise.

i have to wonder a little bit though if it's an american thing. maybe if i tried playing sports in another country maybe they wouldn't care so much about height and weight. maybe the evils of capitalism in this country just run that deep. but, living in the us, i think a world where young men's educational opportunities resting on sports scholarships resting on whether or not they're genetically predisposed to being heavyset or tall is a messed up world and i think height/weight instead of gender segregation could be a step to solving that as well as to solving the issue of gender in sports.

[your-god-empress-lavender]

Calcium sulphur batteries (uwu)

Okay, so, i've become interested in z-pinch studies for aerospace purposes (i'm really excited about the prospects, everything works on paper, but i naturally want to actually witness p+N14 fusion for above 0.01% of available protons before i go trying to get the materials to build a real liquid fueled SSTO fusion rocket, especially since there are thousands of folks way smarter than me who have presumably thought of this before and we don't have it yet, so yeah). Anyways, if i want the extremely large electricity input without making my electricity bill higher than a whole month's rent and getting my roommates mad at me, i'll need to collect solar or wind in a battery bank. Since lithium batteries are just about all immoral and expensive (yes i am writing this on a device powered by lithium batteries, it would be lovely if capitalists would take a hint and switch to things that just objectively perform better and are cheaper, but whatever), i figured this would be a nice excuse to experiment around with some new battery designs. Since all of them will require sulphur, i won't be able to really get into it before mid may due to some concerns about the smell and risks of getting sulphur powder everywhere (it's very yellow and hard to clean out), but i felt i might as well share my preliminary ideas. First off, in order to make the organic sulphur polymer, i'm looking to explore mostly citrate based polymers, perhaps with phenylalanine mixed in in order to both give more bulk as well as providing nitrogens for sulphenamides to form. Since i'll need urea later, i was also considering partially polymerizing urea with citric acid and adding that into the molten sulphur mix, but i'm less confident in the stability of that and a bit concerned about the potential noxious fumes produced. Regardless, that's the short of the sulphur cathode, details will definitely change after i refind that paper which went over a great way of preventing insoluble polysulphide production. I'm also gonna experiment with anode material and even the ions i use. I know i said "calcium sulphur batteries" in the title, but due to how common aluminium is and how much easier magnesium is to work with (and the fact that their specific energies are higher), i'll also be considering those two. Even beyond that, there are so many potential anode materials, including even amorphous carbon and carbon nitrides which i'd love to test since there's just so much to improve on and i'd rather do a lot of experiments with cheap to make materials and potentially land on a great solution than accept something subpar because it took less effort. Anyways, of the materials i plan on using, there's magnesium sulphate, aluminium sulphate, calcium chloride, potentially other calcium salts (is the salt with taurine soluble in water? IDK, can't find an answer so i'll test it), charcoal, vegetable oil, urea, and phenylalanine. Those may seem like an unrelated hodgepodge of compounds, but they've been chosen because they're what i have/will soon have and they're also all extremely cheap. If the urea works out well in the battery, i may have to make this project a meme and attempt to make a z-pinch device with as much urine as possible (use it to make ammonia for the plasma, to make the batteries, and i'm sure there's some way to use urine in a capacitor (maybe just distilling off the water to use as a dielectric? idk, it's been a while since i tried making a capacitor)).

Anyway, i really didn't expect this long trainwreck of a post to end with discussions of urine, but what can you do? This is all probably nonsensical, even by my standards, but basically i want batteries and i think i can make them cheaper per megajoule of stored energy than the ones i could buy, even accounting for the inevitable failed experiments.

[amouress16]

RUIN Thoughts!

Under the cut for your convenience to avoid spoilers!

I have seen pretty much everything that is out/widely known about as of day one so I'm just gonna ramble about everything. Starting with positives and then getting into the things I didn't like towards the end. Cause hoo boy are my feeling very mixed about this whole thing let me tell you.

I like Cassie! We have proper context and motivation for her right off the bat. Immediate story improvements there!

The gameplay of the whole DLC looks way better. Personally I've never liked games that box you in to one path too much in a way it's too obvious, but the DLC makes it realistic and gives paths that loop back around to places you've been. The map still doesn't make sense but that's just the SB experience at this point I guess.

Eclipse. ECLIPSE. ECLIPSE CANON OH MY GOD. He's sweet and gentle and acts just like how a caretaker should! Sun pleading for help and Moon expressing their pain being forced to work as entirely separate programs, both of them fighting each other's triggers.... Aauughhhh I love them. The fact that all they needed for so long was a simple reboot and there were just no human workers around to do it.... 😭

AND ROXANNE. Seeing the side of the characters actually being child entertainers is so nice! Even if it was done just to make the moment bittersweet. "Do you still like carrot cake? I like carrot cake." They're all supposed to be kind. They're supposed to be good and wholesome and they've all been twisted into monsters that aren't their true selves.

High tech AR Vanny mask.... but no Vanny... 🤔 sure game, whatever you say

On the other hand, no map bot, but mask bot? Clever sleight of hand Steel Wool, I see you

Bonnie design reveal!!!! Further implications that Monty murdered him!!! I...! I'm not sure I like it. It's difficult because he has no consistency in his appearance. The Bonnie Bowl mascot is purple like OG Bon but the design we see in the gator ride telling Monty's backstory is blue. What are those shoulder pads and how would that work on an animatronic, like at all?? He has no room to move his head! Don't get me started on the inconsistent coloring between his gloves and his outfit. Idc if I sound pretentious for this, the clothing choices hurt me as an artist tbh. If you're gonna make him blue let him wear hot pink or or even yellow. Idk idk it just didn't mesh to me. Oh and his neon sign had the star glasses but his cut outs didn't. Inconsistency is Steel Wool's middle name.

What is with the glitchy shadow rabbit? Why is it shaped like a map marker? Is that supposed to be Glitchtrap? A security system...? I don't understand the point of this storywise at all but sure gameplay go brrr I guess

What the fuck is the Mimic. No seriously. I don't know what it is. Why is it here. What is happening. I am well versed in the canon of these games what is- .......... So it's another Book Thing. Haha. No. Bad. Stop that. Whoever signed off on the "let's add book lore to the games with no explanation or fathomable reason" decision, I am spraying you with a water bottle. Stop alienating those of us who don't have the time/money/desire to buy and read the books. I hate the books personally and have been actively ignoring them since the Plushtrap Chaser one. They are meant to be fun side stories for people who want that, not main game canon!!! Stop it!! I am actually begging you!!

TL;DR I like the characterization given to everyone this time around, it felt right for them. Bonnie's design is inconsistent and kinda mid. And trying to force in booklore most people won't know about is just stupid and I'm mad about it. That's about it.

I definitely wanna draw Cassie with Roxy post game- because I do believe she survived that elevator crash- and maybe make a Bonnie design I'll like better. And I definitely wanna see other people's art. That'll be the best part of all of this.

[lazylogic]

Okay, here are some words, yes it's long

This drawing started as "homework" my therapist gave me to try and draw myself more, just to like...have more of a sense of self, but it kinda turned into somewhat of a vent doodle because I was feeling gloomy yesterday. I think I'd like to make an alternate version of this that's much more cozy and colorful when I'm feeling better, though. Now...updates? Or I guess a ramble, rant, whining, whatever: I'm still not 100% on coming back to posting art, and on top of there really not being any good art site to post on (FA is fine but I know it has its own issues, I just subsist on nostalgia), every single social media platform now seems like a dumpster fire - way more than they already were - that I don't wanna go back to, so I'm not sure if or when I'm gonna change anything anytime soon. I'm already bad at being social in communities but I super do not know where to turn right now if I wanted to be "present online" again. Way back in the day, Twitter and Tumblr were actually fun, but it's all long since become stressful and anxiety-inducing. And at this point, it really doesn't seem like it's gonna ever improve. Frankly, I do kinda prefer living under a rock anyway, but there's definitely part of me that still misses the positive and warm interactions I used to have with people online. Unfortunately, I still feel like there's really no part of the internet anymore where I feel like I belong, or even want to be. This is all very possibly my gloomy mood at the time of posting and seasonal depression talking, but I really just don't feel motivated to post, participate, or interact online much anymore. Partly a good thing, I think, because I have a lot of fun working on my website and hanging out in the small web community, away from the centralized web. But I know it's also partly due to my bad, chronic habit of isolation - because right now I'm not even interacting with said small web community. I'm just talking to my friends on Discord and Telegram, which typically is all I need. But idk, maybe it's FOMO, maybe it's just another art angst wave, but I miss having a place to go for art...just not the way it's been for the past 6 years or so. I wanna be here, for people to know I'm still alive, but at the same time I don't wanna be here and I don't want to be perceived at all. This feeling changes constantly. I don't know why I'm saying all this and I think I just need to stop thinking about it entirely. Ultimately, the internet is really not important in life and there are countless other things about life that I should focus on. I have a life full of love and precious things, and that is really the most important thing. The fact that I'm an artist who decided to start posting online so many years ago just makes this complicated. Being an artist makes me neurotic, and I'm also just so fucking overwhelmed with the way the world is right now that everything feels like an alien place, online and offline.

And I just care about people too much. I wanna give back to the people who always showed me kindness and support online, just for them to know that they've all been remembered and seen and I'm thankful for them. I think that's why this is such a floundering issue for me. I still think that I'm better off not being an artist online, at least most of the time. But idk. I think I'm just doomed to always have overthinking, neurotic turmoil over stupid shit. Time to stop thinking! At the very least, art IS starting to be fun again, so there's that. I absolutely do better when I'm drawing without worrying about perception and opinions. I think the problem arises when I start bringing commissions into the mix...I hate marketing myself, but you have to do that to have any hope of getting clients, so I should either not do comms at all or just not try to rely on it for income. Damn this shit was easier when I was a teenager with no bills drawing people's fursonas for $30

[alitgblog]

"live" blogging s7, vol 1 (some analysis, some jokes lol)

first off, I totally forgot there were other casa amor girls so opening the app to see them on the banner I was like oooo

the S7 MC isn't too bad art wise, like it's definitely better than I thought with the preview, but

I do think the skinnier size MC is super skinny and the bigger one is not that much bigger, which is a little disappointing (always appreciate more size inclusion). ideally I think there would be one more size up i think but I do understand that means they'd have to fix all the clothes 3 times.

speaking of clothes they've always been bad at the beginning of the season since like s4 and this is no exception. I wish we got more options in the beginning and then the others they tack on later

the skin tones really are only three shades with each having one warmer variation, which is kind of nice to have people get that option in tone, but I do still wish there were more shades variation in between (and darker ones in general)

for absolutely no reason I have decided that my MC is also gonna be the S5 MC from my first playthrough getting a second chance after a second failed relationship with Suresh (let's just pretend she didn't win her season lol) and she's cute in this style (but again i wish we had the right skin tone for her). I guess if fusebox is backing out of bringing back Eddie then I'm bringing my MC

Her name is Junie and she's doing a lot better now mentally and has gained a little bit of healthy weight and finally loves herself now so fusebox better not make an embarrassment out of her again.

this actually works out pretty well bc usually the casa amor girls on the show arrive at the same time unless something is special about one of them who can show up separately like MC does here (ok fine I've only seen that happen in LI USA S5 and I guess s6 of the game)

Ep 1

Bonnie being an LI feels solely like penance for me thinking Iona was hot but sad she wasn't even a friend really let alone an LI in s3 so thank you but for narrative purposes I'm making Junie straight

Uma is gorgeous

also fusebox is not beating the reused assets allegations even those poses are just too eerily familiar

"I wanna try the slow burn" *has war flashbacks to the Ozzy route I never finished*

short king raf

ok Alex picking MC when Summer was flirting so hard is actually very funny to me

I understand bc it's a gem choice i didn't pick that we didn't get the last card but very funny that they were like we're just not gonna give Summer a chance at all actually

Let's goooo confirmed Joyo is Indonesian (I'm filipino so i was hoping filipino so I could draw him singing karaoke but I am here for any southeast Asian representation at all 🥳)

however I am upset with the use of "rizz" again. maybe once or twice but if they do it again I'm rioting

Alex nerding out is so cute. also who wouldn't want a bob the builder boyfriend for home improvement projects lol

am i too old to understand what normcore is?? like I barely understand e-girl aesthetic but there's more??

Bryson and his sister Jess have the most realistic sibling relationship from the last two seasons bc I also would mess with my brother's partners. and I once again am mourning the idea of a protective brother slow burn storyline in s6 instead of whatever Amelia was doing

"I won't bore you with the details" no pls do it I wanna know and I don't wanna pay the gems

all the guys have great personalities so far and idk if it's because I'm paying attention more this time or it's just better but oh no I'm falling for all of them

the drama set up with the guys and their partners is promising writing (namely the triangle with Geri, Bryson, and Joyo but maybe just because im torn between those two anyway) I'm shocked but cautious it's episode 1 lol

ep 2

early doors?

the gem party outfit is so 2013 disney channel, I actually will be taking the free outfit

wait why is it not night time for truth or dare why did they change clothes lol

joyo, get out of here with the graphic tee and blazer combo. Maybe this is why Bryson doesn't like you, and it'd be justified (tbf him being a bad dresser has been established already though)

oh God I didn't see his pants too jfc let him borrow some clothes

I'm into the frenemy relationship with Summer, like there's always a female villain in the game and they're almost always entertaining to me at the beginning (minus maybe Kat and Ivy)

I'm warming up to the all the guys like how can you pick

I'm starting to realize I personally have a problem because I always go, at least initially, for the chefs/foodies (Jake, Bobby, Camilo, Roberto) and I like Bryson rn and I think my MC would go for Bryson based on how I played her in s5 but I'm slowly inching over to Joyo and honestly i see the vision for Bobby clone I mean Raf and it is absolutely bc they've mentioned cooking

stop talking about feet pls not again

I expect this from Summer but Uma coming over to try to steal my man?? I appreciate her boldness though and at least she's not going behind anyone's back

ep 3

as someone who doesn't have the modded app and will not pay real money for gems, I feel very happy with choosing to eavesdrop on the guys' conversation. I feel like usually a lot of the gem scenes aren't worth it but this one is fun

Joyo does skincare but can't dress and Bryson is a fashion expert but makes fun of skincare. If they joined forces they'd be unstoppable, thank God they hate each other

hey what the fuck happened to cassius

so in summary im pleasantly surprised and hyped for this season at the moment. and lastly, pls don't drop the ball on stick or twist again please please pleaseeee

[brokentoys]

i dunno if i'm a fan of how in the comics, eddie didn't realize how addictive drugs/amphetamines were and didn't intend to get "hooked." and i get that's how a lot of writers depict drug addictions. and that it is also true there are quite a few people who do test drugs without the intention of becoming addicted. but there are also many who do drugs regardless of its addictive or negative side effects. plus, you know, i'm very wary of DC and its recent depictions of eddie in comics. i mean, fucking hell, they had LEX LUTHOR explain to eddie the ORIGIN OF THE QUESTION MARK. YOU KNOW. ED'S ENTIRE SYMBOL. like the TRIVIA KING wouldn't know why the fucking question mark (HIS SYMBOL) is shaped the way it is. fuck off. so that's my issue... eddie being like "haha i didn't realize how addictive it was!! i thought i'd be ok with small doses!!!!" just makes me feel like it's DC, once again, presenting eddie as "Incompetent."

especially when eddie said he started taking them to "improve focus" and help his intellect or whatever. and it's like. why? did eddie have trouble focusing before? that would require to acknowledge that, perhaps, eddie is mentally ill. which DC also has either forgotten or chosen to ignore for many years despite the fact he literally goes to a hospital. (which zer0 year made the disgusting excuse it's just because Prisons Are Overcrowded!!111!! fuck off with that too.) idk if his drug problem was actually ever properly explained (beyond guessing eddie just wants to be the Greatest that he resorts to drugs for it. lmao fuck off x3) or if it was even properly resolved. i guess they thought they didn't need to resolve it or explain that he's off them now (bc i don't think they've brought up the drug issue thing since uhhh either 2020 or 2021) because he got Nearly Killed while on The Hunt for them or whatever. as if you know. getting off drugs is that easy. (ppl who suffer from addiction often go through immense trauma and near death experiences, and even homelessness, and that doesn't stop them)

or who knows. maybe they did explain and resolve it properly. i'm no longer big into new comics and i rarely check them out. but i know i probably would've heard about it if they had.

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

whatever the creators are working on it must (or better) be really really good, cause the game's been on pause since December!

Oh yeah. This, and the flowers they added in March are the last updates (I'm not counting Adventure Outfitters)

Hm. Usually, they post sneak peeks on whatever they're working on in the blog to keep people in the loop and keep them interested. I wonder why they stop? Cause people are going to lose interest if you take too long to update anything.

It can't be because they don't want to spoil anyone because again... they used to do sneak peeks to keep everyone interested.

Maybe they're getting their ducks in a row...

I hope that they're... idk, fixing some things, and improving some things...

Because if that’s what they've been doing all this time, then I won't even be upset. In fact, I'd be incredibly happy :D

[dubhdove156]

Rant/Vent Post:

My twin sister and exception attempted suicide the other day. The last few days have been incredibly stressful, and for the first few nights, no one was sure if she'd pull through. Currently, she's getting more stable and verbally coherent, but she's lost the use of her legs. Clinicians aren't sure yet if that'll ever return.

I have some thoughts on all of this that I can't really share socially or with family right now, so I'm just going to put them here.

First off, the way she attempted was... dramatic. Like, movie main-character dramatic. It wasn't a cry for help, that's already come and gone. This was a genuine attempt and I'm not looking to invalidate that. But she texted everyone highly emotional goodbyes, posted on all of her social media, and the method used just pointed to wanting to go out with a bang for a finale.

On that note, I've made observations my entire life about the people around me that Main Character Syndrome™️ is out of control, not only with this generation, but with generations prior. I also deal with it.

My sister is maybe the biggest weeb I've ever known; she watches anime like it's crack or heroin. It's gotten to the point that she's expressed to me that it's difficult to think of scenarios that aren't in anime format. In other words, her schema and worldview have been almost totally shaped by anime. She's been an anime fan since we were 4ish years old. It's consumed her world.

I think that maybe this was a chunk of why this happened. Not all of the reason, maybe not even a good chunk, but a contributing factor at the very least.

Think of it this way: someone who reads a lot of romance novels and watches a lot of romance movies is shocked by the hard truths of intimate relationships, they're poorly adapted to the reality of relationships, and they've created unrealistic expectations that cannot and never will be met. They'll be left with a void that some author's daydream put there of a world that doesn't exist. Someone who grows up watching DBZ, action movies, badass protagonists, playing video games where the player character is next to immortal, might have their worldview shattered when they can't John Wick their way out of a situation that they started and wind up in the hospital or worse.

In saying this, I'm not saying that anime is the devil. What I'm curious about is to what extent the media we consume affects our worldview, and how much of it is healthy. Media in the form of fiction has been a part of our collective history since we originated. I'm not saying it's inherently negative -- hero stories go as far back as Odysseus and Gilgamesh. It's ingrained in us. But I can't help but shake the feeling that something, culture maybe, shifted at some point (idek how many generations ago) that has led us to this point that I see at least some narcissism in everyone, but especially in the younger generations. It's difficult to find people my own age who aren't competitive; where it feels like this room isn't big enough for the both of us. This is become endemic to our species. We're evidently killing ourselves when reality doesn't and can't meet the expectations set on us by TV shows, movies, video games, animes, etc.

Idk it's just a thought I had.

Side note: recently, while trying to improve my condition, I've become a major fan of media in which the protagonist is just... a dude. Shows where there are multiple protaganists and any might die or fail at any moment. I've especially gotten into playing the Soulsbourne series because it checks me. I've become a major fan of ego-checks, and think we could all use a good ass kick in whatever department we're too proud of ourselves in. This world needs a major dose of humility.

[bisexualhobi]

Idk a lot of groups have had rlly intense schedules before so they were probably burnt out too and bts haven't even been doing as much for a while, but I've never seen a group look so visibly worn out and kind of bad before and I've been here for ages

Maybe it's all that pressure especially since they're put on such a pedestal and now they've got the will they won't they situation with enlistment too idk I'm trying to be nice to them and I probably sound really entitled ig? But other groups have had crazy schedules and have had to work in really bad conditions before but they've always performed really good and you wouldn't be able to tell so when I see armys praising bts on the tl, I really don't see anything worth praise anymore?? It's like when you stan a group there's something you really like about them like idk good rap line or vocals or some people may like the whole group because of one members and decide to stan because bond between the members or whatever but with bts giving the rapline less lines, two thirds of the rapline sounding bad anyway and them seeming really fake and not closei don't see anything special about them as a group anymore like when I see armys gushing over them as they do they look delusional to me and I don't see what they're seeing I guess 😔

I think it's made worse by the fact that armys will praise them for anything such as the vocal line not sounding good or bad live performances like one man cannot carry a whole group so even if the group has like 1 and three quarters of actual good performers/artists I really don't get why you would want to be an army unless you want to brag about their achievements stan and be annoying on kpoptwt or if the parasocial relationship just has people in its clutches

i think it's the parasocialism and the insular echo chamber bts have locked themselves in. how are you expected to improve or find inspiration when anything you do is praised as the absolute most world shattering best

[eunique]

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 5 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)❤️❤️❤️

To be honest I don't have the best of self esteem. Self esteem is something I really lack and it has been lacking since forever ago ; w;)b

But since this is non-negotiable, I'll be nice to myself so here we go

1) My Art

I'm still my own worst critic but I'm proud of myself in how far I've come. Recently went through all my old art and it really put into perspective in where I am now compared to 2012 me. But every now and then I look at some of the stuff I did in like 2020 and am still proud of some of the stuff I did. I definitely think I can still improve and learn more but I think child me would've been fucking hyped to see my art now.

2) My boba tastes

Sounds really weird but I've had a few friends ask me for reccomendations when we go to Gongcha and they've all enjoyed my recs. Even my Chinese asf mum approves of it so yeah. I may have shit taste in maybe everything else but I still got superior taste in boba tea 😤

3) Being Bilingual

My Chinese still sucks ass but I'm glad I can speak enough Chinese to hold a conversation and help people. Plus, it's also a really good way to talk shit about someone who is in the exact same room as you. Still anxious asf to use it in public tho but that's a different story.

4) My ability to learn (most) things quickly

I generally can learn most things relatively quickly whether I'm learning it myself or I'm being taught how to do whatever I'm learning. I've been a pretty fast learner in a lot of things (aside from maths, chemistry and DAWs to name a few). Taught myself a few things like how to cast off a knitting via YouTube. Taught myself to draw and still teaching myself new things to name a few. Still predominantly self taught in art to this day :)

5) My brain

Gonna get this out the way. I'm not the traditional "booksmart". Never liked academics. Sucked at academics and certainly didn't help that my primary school essentially set me up for failure. Not even smart in the slightest tbh. I'm very much dumbass to the max and I'm absolutely fine with that. I literally joke about being so head empty.

But I do like my brain for the amount of bullshit it consumes and my brain can literally visualise anything as well as visualise a sound. If you told me to imagine an apple and then told me to imagine someone taking a bite out of that apple, I can visualise the object and visualise the sound of someone taking a bite of that apple. I think it sorta stems from my artsy background.

But it is also a double edged sword bc I can then visualise and hear the most cursed videos in my head if it's cursed enough to stick to my brain. That or if someone told me to imagine polystyrene rubbing against each other and squeaking, I can mentally see the exact action and hear that exact sound ringing in my ear and it makes me want to shrivel up like a prune :')

This took me all day to think about because again, idk who self esteem is. But this really made me think about what I like about myself. I think I care too much about what others have thought of me in the past that it has really warped my self perception. Even the 75 question genshin impact kin quiz which I took twice gave me scarily accurate results both times. That along with almost every uquiz I've taken during 2021.

I still struggle to not let how people see me get in the way but it's still really hard to not overthink that every time. But it does help that I have amazing friends online and irl that I can be myself 100% unapologetically and this hellsite where I'm not forced to keep up a certain facade :)

[leqclerc]

I mean... Redbull has a very weird environment and has burnt a lot of drivers in favor of max but... I just admire their dedication to win. They dropped Renault and turned to Honda and everyone was clowning them but this year it payed off. I don't rule out Mercedes yet, but they have been working towards a championship for a long time. Whether max is capable of winning it, is another question, but you can see from the moment he got into f1 how the team worked together to give him a good car. I know that in the meantime shit happened, but... I just wish ferrari had the same energy. To drop their egos and just focus on winning. They have charles, and to just hear him apologising to the fans the other day.. It just hit me how much he loves the team and the fans and how badly he wants to be a world champion with ferrari. I don't know maybe I'm dramatic but between ferrari, redbull and Mercedes, I just don't trust ferrari.

First of all, hello! 😊

Yeah, I see what you mean. I think the key difference between Ferrari and the other two teams is that for a long time they lacked stability.

Since 2014 they've had a high staff turnover - they've lost engineers and other "ground" staff, which is normal to an extent, but they've had a whopping three team principles since 2014. They've also had chairmen come and go in that period, and lost Sergio Marchionne quite unexpectedly smack bang in the middle of the 2018 season. Admittedly I don't know much about his "reign", but I do know he famously pushed for Ferrari to promote Charles as soon as possible and was a proponent of the Seb-Charles lineup, even on his deathbed, so make of that what you will.

By comparison, Toto joined Mercedes in 2013 and later became TP in 2014 and has been in the position ever since - we all know that story. Red Bull has famously had cyclical engine supplier drama as they're the only non-works team out of, shall we say, The Big Three, bouncing between Honda and Renault and even vaguely threatening to leave the sport if they don't find a supplier, which hasn't yet come to fruition. They've had some staff turnover, engineers and other personnel getting poached here and there (most recently to Aston Martin, I think?) but that is also normal, to a degree. But the "core" of the team, the managerial figures behind it all, have remained the same - Christian, Helmut, and I think Adrian's still floating around, though I see him less often on track now. Point is, it's largely the same group of people that were present for Seb's most dominant era that is now overseeing Max's career development. We all know they're not exactly the most merciful bunch and the working environment at RB is notoriously stressful and high-pressure, especially when it comes to young drivers, but in terms of stability...that's an advantage.

I think that's one of the main reasons why - as much as I'd love to see him gone - B*notto's still around. He was brought in after Maurizio (in a very ugly way, really) to sort of...revitalise the team and improve their overall sort of PR image. I remember reading somewhere that he was meant to be the long term solution, one that endears the people to Ferrari as a team, especially since Maurizio was generally seen as a cold, sort of...demanding figure. Er...I mean Idk if that worked, but sure, whatever 🙃 They were at their most vulnerable in 2020 and they're still picking up the pieces today, the impact of a horrible season still echoing despite the progress they've already made so far. I guess they figure it wouldn't be fair on the drivers if they had to deal with a significant change on a managerial level on top of already trying to prepare for the unknown with the 2022 reg changes and this step into a new era.

The thing is, I don't think anyone's ever questioned the loyalty and determination to win on the drivers' end. Maybe it was harder to tell with Kimi who's got a more blasé attitude, but with people like Seb and Charles, who genuinely commit to the vision, who talk about how they dreamt about this when they were kids, how they acknowledge that wearing red will always be that bit more special...Fuck, you can see how much it means to people like them. Seb was openly emotional several times during his Ferrari career, and proudly waved that Essere Ferrari flag around even by Singapore. It wasn't an easy sort of career era for him, but for a while there, the man was living his dream. It's just that no championship materialised from that. When they had stability, they struggled to produce a competitive car; when they had the machinery, they went through a rough patch internally. And, like, it's easy to laugh about their botched pitstops or poor strategy choices, but the reality is, every team has slipped up in those areas at some point. Even a team as a dominant as Merc can have major fuck-ups that seriously impact their drivers and hurt their chances at bringing back a good points haul for the team. The difference is that - pretty much until this year - they were on top of things and ran a tight ship and were just so bloody fast that in the grand scheme of things, a minor slip-up didn't matter all that much. If they lost one race, they'd put their heads down and win the next four in a row. If they botched a pitstop, well, the car is still fast enough to make up the difference and end up on the podium. Ferrari hasn't...really had the luxury of being in that place so far. So their mistakes obviously cost them more when they start piling up - questionable strategy combined with a lack of race pace and bizarre tyre wear equals France 2021, both cars outside the points.

Do I worry about Ferrari taking Charles and his commitment and his determination and his loyalty and his heart, chewing him up and spitting him back out, only to replace him with someone else? Yeah, of course. But I think 2022 will be a really fucking important year and will essentially determine whether he stays beyond 2024 - whether he still believes he can win those championships with Ferrari - or whether he'll walk in search of a new employer. I think right now neither of them wants that and I think they do realise - they have to - that Charles is literally heaven-sent and that they have to do everything in their power to not waste his potential. He's already proven himself, time and time again; now it's time for the team to give back to him and build him a car and provide him the right environment to win consistently. I think they're working on it right now, I think they know the gravity of the situation and how vital it is to nail these 2022 regs to have a chance at resurgence - and they can only capitalise on Red Bull and Mercedes' little title scrap this year. So, yeah, I'm hoping they get this shit right. If it becomes apparent they haven't, well... Then we'll see.