#but it's not MY experience so I'm just kinda going off of vibes a lotta the time and what I've seen people be like

[dan-crimes]

Thinking about my OCs 💕💕💕

[violetcancerian]

Not my cousin and I explaining to my aunt and my grandma the funny experiences we've had while listening to Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin because

Your's truly was listening to the Led Zeppelin tag? Radio? Playlist? On Spotify and I had my headphones on, the volume was kinda loud, but I was on the bus and those buses are pretty damn loud. So the noise from the headphones was like...not a problem. "Whole Lotta Love" comes on and I'm just vibing to it, and then the solo comes on, Robert starts to moan during it, I'm over here just

The lady next to me, however, HEARS IT AS WELL and she's just

I think I even drew that moment y'all hold on. I'm so sorry lady next to me on the bus.

(2.) My cousin and I were listening to music outside while I was drawing and she was keeping me company, we had the classic rock station and I went inside to help my grandparents with something, so I left her in charge of the phone and my stuff, the song comes up, Robert does his thing with the moaning during the guitar solo, my cousin is just all embarrassed like, red in the face embarrassed because our front door neighbors just got home, the whole family getting out of their car, right on that solo.

(3.) My cousin, who is like 14, was doing homework with friend outside on the porch of her friend's house and they were listening to music on a mini speaker, and it was her classic rock playlist, nothing grand, just them absentmindedly doing homework and having it as background noise. Again, "Whole Lotta Love" comes on, they don't realize until the damn solo what's going through their speakers and my cousin is like "oh shit" and quickly turns it off and both run inside with their things gathered all embarrassed because the neighbors heard every bit of that song. When her friend's mom comes home she's all confused as to why the local preacher told her "I suggest you and your whole family comes to mass on Sunday". Someone from the neighborhood fucking snitched to the church about the music.

Anyways, my aunt and grandma were having an absolute ball and holding their sides laughing because honestly. It's like having funny experiences with a little sister and it's something we share. Anyways, I'm planning on making her a battle vest or jacket

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

I apologise in advance if this is actually rude or insensitive, and feel free to tell me yo go f mysrlf lmao. My issue with trans community is them not seeing women as people, at least that's what I see. FtMs feel they are better than them (because they are Men) and for them women are inferior beings whose role is to be their supportive partners, sex objects (hi, traditional gender roles), for MtFs women are fantasies made of stereotypes about makeup, dresses and ~being cute and submissive~, and when women are against this image of femininity, it's called being transphobic. What are your thoughts?

I think there's a lot to say about that topic, cuz you are right that there are people like that. But I don't think it's fair to say it's everyone in the trans community. I'm gonna break it down to explain some stuff, so get ready for a long post.

General:

-remember that there will always be bad apples. Within any group-- be it trans, cis, gay, straight, etc-- there is gonna be dicks. That doesn't mean the community they are apart of is all like that and because of that they shouldn't be used as a representative of said community.

Reasons for trans men acting sexist:

-they could just be legitimately sexist and just a shitty person

-over compensation of some kind? A lotta trans people feel like they gotta prove themselves sometimes and that can end up coming off as really rude. It gets a very "I'm better than you" vibe. Doesn't mean it's ok by any means tho. If you're being a dick you're being a dick regardless of the reason.

-resentment from how they were forced to be raised as a women when they weren't actually a women. I can see how that can cause someone to be kinda a dick. Again, doesn't make it ok but I get it.

-took the "I'm not like other girls" phase and ran. Definitely aren't like other girls cuz they aren't a girl at all. But never quite lost the "other girls are like how they are on TV" thought process that many girls get at some point. This causes them to think of girls as shallow and shitty people-- which is obviously super sexist and wrong.

In my own experience I see a lotta trans guys having a hard time accepting they're guys cuz of the whole "men are trash" thing. But I've definitely seen ones who hate on women too. But the most common type of trans man I see are the ones that just wanna live their lives, and aren't sexist at all. Most shitty ones I find online and I just ignore them. And I do feel for you cuz it seems you've had to deal with them a good deal. But like I said, I think it's something that should be discussed within the community but not used a representation of it.

Explainations for trans women being sexist:

-this one I've actually discussed in detail a good amount with trans women. It's very much an over compensating and misunderstanding thing.

Not a misunderstanding of what it means to be a women, but rather a really unsavory way to express being a women. One of the first ways a trans person comes to express or even just test and see if they're trans is through clothes. This ties indirectly into gender roles. Cuz obviously clothes aren't actually gendered. If a man wears a dress he's still a man. But with how our society is, it's easier to pass when you're dressed with how society expects.

When newly/not yet realized trans men dress in traditionally masculine clothes, it's not quite as big of a deal in most cases (key word most, everyone's situation is different) then it is for trans women. I dressed more masculine for a long time before I realized I was a trans man. Most people took it as me being a tomboy. But a newly/not yet realized trans women doesn't have that luxury. Men wearing dressed isn't normalized. So if a trans women were to wear a dress, it'd be fairly obvious in most cases that she isn't cis.

This is especially true since dresses aren't made for the biologically male body (they're barely made for most cis women's bodies honestly). So when a trans women wears a dress she looks... Off. Cuz the seams of the clothes don't fit her body type. But she wants to pass. And so she wears clothes that aren't suited for her shape, high heels, and makeup as a way to over compensate and try to pass and prove they're female (cuz they are).

You ever see those videos of little kids who get into their mom's makeup?? Or middle schools trying to look pretty and putting on so much makeup they look like a clown? How about those cis women who NEVER wear make up and have no idea what they're doing and end up looking really bad when they finally try makeup on their own??? That's exactly what happens with trans women.

I'm a trans man I have no idea how makeup works. Most cis men don't know how makeup works. Trans women often get thrown into the makeup industry with no idea what the fuck they are doing. But they know that makeup is gonna be really important to help them pass in most cases. So when they first start they just look awful. Cuz they don't know what they're doing.

Combine that with the fact that many cis men don't understand fashion either (I don't even understand fashion). In most cases, the way they're raised they're styles are gonna be really different than women's styles. So again, a trans women is being thrown into a fashion industry she really doesn't know much about. And is gonna act like a little kid who stole her mom's shoes and dresses and just looks ridiculous. Cuz she doesn't know what to do, or what looks right, or how to do it in a tasteful way, etc etc. So she takes it way too far without realizing it cuz she's trying so hard to pass with no real idea what to do or how to do it.

And all that added together can very very very easily come off as super rude to cis women. Cuz they are going overboard with the makeup and heels and everything else. It often comes off as disrespectful and insulting, as if saying being a women is all about makeup and heels. It's not intentional by any means, but that doesn't mean the misunderstanding doesn't exist. It's very much a reality.

You'll often find that when trans women do this, they calm down after a while. Cuz they REALIZE how they went too far. they realize they over compensated and it was kinda shitty. My gf is a friend's with a trans women who actively talks about how when she first came out she went way too far with being stereotypically feminine cuz she didn't know how much else to express herself and over compensated. She knows now that it was insulting and she definitely apologizes for it. It's one of the reasons why having resources for trans people is so important-- so that hopefully trans women can not only have support but also help in their transition so they don't end up over compensating like that.

It's also important to note that unless you have access to medically transitionig it's REALLY hard to pass for most trans women without going on the far end of stereotypical femininity. Cuz when people see dresses and heels they are going to think women before they think man. Thats just how society is. So naturally, they're gonna wear dresses and make up in order to pass.

-the other side of that coin is the fetish community and it's overlap within the trans community. There is-- as I'm sure you know-- many people out there who treat being trans as a fetish. This isn't someone who's kinky and trans or someone who's kinks tie into being trans. But rather someone who's ONLY reason for being trans is because of a fetish-- i.e. it's all inherently a sexual thing.

And when it comes to trans women who are into trans for the fetish, you'll often find they are the ones who take that really far distasteful representation of feminity you were talking about and don't ever calm down. They don't later realize "ah, I've been over compensating and I can relax. I literally just wanna live my life as the women I am" and instead continue on with this over expression of stereotypical femininity.

I could go and make an even longer post about the possible reasons someone has a fetish like this. But basically. There are many people OBSESSED with women with dicks, being a women with a dick, being turned into a women for sexual reasons, etc etc. It's a fetish for them, not a realization of who you actually are. And it definitely does effect the trans community and how it's viewed by those outside the community.

There's no sure fire way to know the difference between these kinds people unfortunately. And there is something to be said with how they make the trans community look. I'm not gonna give my own opinion on it unless someone asks. I'm just saying it as a possible explanation of why you've met trans women who act so overly feminine it's almost insulting to women as a whole (including other trans women).

I hope that helps you and all makes sense.

On a final note:

-especially online trying to discuss literally any topic is gonna get you accused of being [what]phobic unfortunately. So I'm not surprised you've been called transphobic for saying that sometimes the way trans people express themselves feel like they're super stereotypical and that's kinda insulting. I don't know how you phrased it, but I can get both sides. Especially since many trans people deal with hate comments. I'm not saying you are or aren't transphobic, I don't know you well enough. But so long as you respect trans people and their gender, I don't think you have anything to worry about. (Calling someone out isn't the same as disrespect as an fyi)