#but it's like.. it's marius that i really want here. i would feel pretty conflicted if i ended up with luke's card

[vynegar]

BOTH artem personal story SSRs are so gorgeous what the helllll

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.8.4 “Authority Gains Its Power”

“Fantine had not seen Javert since the day the mayor had saved her from him. Her sick brain could not grasp anything except that she was sure he had come for her.” This makes me wonder about Fantine’s grasp on time while she’s been ill. It’s been two months since she first fell ill, but it seems like she thinks it’s been almost no time.

“Javert did not say “Hurry up!” he said, “Hur-up!” No spelling could express the tone in which this was said it was no longer human speech; it was a howl.” FMA really doubling down on the wolf imagery here translating “rugissement” as howl instead of roar. I love it.

“To him Jean Valjean was a sort of mysterious and intangible antagonist, a shadowy wrestler with whom he had been struggling for five years, without being able to throw him. This arrest was not a beginning, but an end.” This line and the one from the beginning of the chapter about Fantine thinking Javert has come for her secures him once again as a sort of Angel Of Death for both of them. This arrest is the literal end for Fantine and the symbolic end for Madeleine-Valjean.

Also this line establishes just how much Madeleine’s real identity has consumed Javert’s thoughts in the past 5 years that he’s been a major community leader. It hasn’t just been a passing “huh, this guy really reminds me of that convict Valjean from Toulon” type thing for Javert. It’s been a sort of conflict and, probably since the cart incident at least, an obsession. It’s also interesting because it seems to establish Javert as believing that Valjean was his responsibility, and coming to that belief as soon as he learned about Valjean’s theft of Petit Gervais’ coin. Like, Valjean is not an antagonist he’s struggled with only since Madeleine became mayor and this person Javert maybe suspected suddenly became more high-profile, it’s an internal conflict he’s had since the robbery was reported, which probably wasn’t more than 6 months after its occurrence (I would assume). Javert’s wasn’t just obsessing over Madeleine possibly being Valjean because maybe finding a wanted convict would be good for his name or whatever, he was obsessing over it because he fully felt it was his responsibility to find this wanted man.

Jean Valjean is no longer Madeleine to the reader. Hugo’s narration only calls him Jean Valjean, the full name, this entire chapter. His old identity has been pulled away and he can no longer wrap M Madeleine around himself. And he’s only going to be Jean Valjean or Madeleine for another chapter; the next time we see him after that, he’ll be Prisoner Number 9430. For a long time in the narration he was Madeleine, then he was just “the man” and variations thereupon, then he was both “Madeleine” and “Valjean” and now he is only Valjean.

The weirdest thing in this chapter is that Hugo blatantly states that Sister Simplice is in the room with them this entire time. She is here and she does absolutely nothing. I mean, this is understandable. Not only is she a woman, but she also doesn’t have any sort of leverage over either of them in any other way. She’s just a nun, just a woman of the church (and not even a woman, according to Hugo, she’s something else entirely), and she can’t really do anything to stop Valjean’s arrest or appeal to Javert or anything. But in the next chapter Javert is literally stopped from entering by Simplice’s Authority of Religiosity. So why isn’t he stopped by her religiosity here? Because this is a mirror of Fantine in 1.5.13, begging Javert for mercy and Javert telling her that “The Eternal Father in person couldn’t help you now.” Again, the law is above god here, and again he will not be moved to mercy, even by god.

“She saw the spy Javert seize the mayor by the collar: she saw the mayor bow his head. The world seemed to vanish before her eyes. Javert, in fact, had taken Jean Valjean by the collar.”

This is pretty obvious, but Madeleine is literally turning into Valjean before Fantine’s eyes. I love the way that Hugo says it though. I get the sense that it’s not just that Javert is seeing Valjean as Valjean now, but that Madeleine’s entire demeanor has changed. So he’s literally not taking Madeleine by the collar, because his demeanor would have been Madeleine’s; he’s taking Valjean by the collar, because he’s dropped the Madeleine act (at least at this very moment).

“Aloud, speak aloud. People speak out loud to me.” Ugh god this line is just so self-serving and shitty. This isn’t Javert being morally righteous via the law or acting as society personified. This is just Javert being petty and shitty because he was humiliated by Madeleine before, and now he wants that personal power reversed.

“Javert stamped his foot.” Is this meant to be as childish as it sounds? This is a really intense moment, but Javert is weirdly powerless as both Valjean and Fantine start talking back in their own ways, refusing to go quietly.

“Miserable town, where convicts are magistrates and prostitutes are nursed like countesses! Ha, but all that will be changed, high time!” It’s so interesting that Javert says this now, because it’s revealed later that after Madeleine left, Montreuil-sur-Mer’s prosperity crumbled. Which means that the town will go back to being like any other poor, garrisoned town, with a prostitution trade and plenty of depths of depravity. And I think we’re supposed to think that without Madeleine there to run a system that helps to uphold the morals and productivity and prosperity of the town, it’ll just fall back into corruption. Except that all of that depravity already existed under Madeleine’s leadership, it was just hidden better than maybe it would be if the whole town was failing. So once he leaves, yes, probably the prostitutes and criminals etc will be treated the way Javert wants them to be treated, rather than with any sort of sympathy or willingness to listen and mediate that Madeleine maybe offered to some but not all.

Fantine’s death is, I think, the only death in the book that gets such a visceral description. M. Pontmercy is already dead when we see him, Eponine just puts her head on Marius’ knee, Gavroche’s death is fairly poetic, all of Les Amis get their deaths described but they’re all so quick it’s like a montage, Javert’s actual death isn’t described. Mabeuf’s death might be the closest in terms of intense description, but Fantine’s definitely is the most detailed. Also, we get more drowning imagery. If Javert is the personification of the Law and the justice system, he is part of what tosses the unfortunate into the night-sea of prison and the mud of poverty. She is drowning because what killed her is also what drowns the poor. And I think it’s interesting that she looks to each of them, trying to speak, but she can’t reach anyone. She can’t speak to Jean Valjean (note that he’s not Madeleine here) because she doesn’t know Jean Valjean, and he’s no longer her savior, she can’t speak to Javert because he will not bend and has no mercy, and she can’t speak to the nun because currently authority will not bow to religion and she knows that because it didn’t bow to religion the last time. Now that Valjean has no power to free her, she can’t go to him. Also, I want to know the significance of her head hitting the headboard. Hugo doesn’t have her just fall back onto the pillow; she bangs her head first, like a strange sort of last injustice.

I also feel like the actual actions of Fantine’s death as well as Valjean whispering in her ear afterward have some sort of religious parallel that I’m not catching because I don’t know enough?

Also just ugh. Fantine dies knowing that Cosette is not out there, that Cosette is not anywhere near here, and that she will not see Cosette. It’s just such a horrible, blunt betrayal after she was so full of hope. I wonder if that’s why (later) Valjean can’t talk to Cosette about her? He doesn’t know how to confront the fact that, intentional or not, he had a hand in this betrayal? It makes sense that it is at this moment that she dies. She has been holding on for Cosette, the hope of seeing Cosette has been keeping her alive. Now, she has the realization that Cosette is not in M-sur-M, and then almost immediately after has the realization that Madeleine is not going to be able to go and retrieve Cosette.

“Jean Valjean put his hand on that of Javert, which was holding him, and opened it as he would have opened the hand of a child; then he said, “You have killed this woman.”

There’s so much child-behavior in Javert in this chapter, and I’m not sure what to make of it. The stamping of the foot, the sort of loud, frustrated insistence of respect, this opening of his hand, the way he yells at Valjean to listen to him or it’s the handcuffs and Valjean just ignores him. Javert is so impatient here and Valjean is so grave and calm. But that’s how it seems to be from now on. @everyonewasabird​ talked in his last post about how this is actually where Javert’s fall is, or at least where it begins. I totally agree with that, because it’s also where his grave, stable behavior starts to falter. In the last chapter, he was gleeful. In this chapter, he’s impatient. In Paris, we won’t see him display behavior this extreme until he’s at the barricade, but his behavior still seems different from the Javert we originally met. Much as I adore the “Would you like my hat?” line, it’s so dramatic and, I don’t know, sort of smug? Which I could see this current Javert doing, but not Javert from 1.6.2 or earlier. This whole episode has caused, as Hugo said, an inner earthquake for Javert, and I think it literally changes his entire personality. Not drastically, nothing crazy, but it does what an earthquake might do: it shifts some things around, changes his inner terrain just enough that it looks totally familiar but the ground he’s walking on is just a little rougher than before.

I’m so glad my post from a couple chapters ago included that comment about Javert and Valjean’s back-and-forth conflict because! This shift in power! Now it’s Valjean who is righteous and Valjean that is terrifying and Valjean that has the control! This chapter is just a fencing match between the two of them. Valjean starts off mildly more powerful: Javert doesn’t touch him while Fantine’s eyes are closed; it’s only when she opens them again that he again has the power over her and over Valljean. He takes Valjean by the collar and Valjean doesn’t attempt to struggle or get free. Once Fantine is dead, Valjean again assumes control and opens Javert’s hand like it’s nothing. I sort of feel like he still kind of retains the upper hand (at least morally) even at the very end when he gives himself up to Javert’s disposal. (Also, it’s interesting that Valjean has the control when Fantine isn’t looking, but Javert has control when she is. Not sure what to make of that.)

Javert’s retreat to the door is so odd. It feels so calm and detached. He doesn’t actually seem frightened or threatened by Valjean’s diy truncheon. I wonder if this is Javert’s version of the way that Valjean does things on autopilot when he’s in shock. Everything that’s happening is just so stunning that when Valjean moves away from him, Javert just automatically moves to the door. And his decision not to call the guard feels like he’s making excuses? It’s pretty obvious at this point that Valjean isn’t going to move from Fantine’s bedside until he’s ready. Except that at this point, Valjean is the one with the control, and the conflict is between him and Javert. Calling the guard adds another element and upsets the balance.

“His iron bar in hand, Jean Valjean walked slowly toward Fantine’s bed. On reaching it, he turned and said to Javert in a voice that could scarcely be heard, “I advise you not to disturb me now.” Nothing is more certain than the fact that Javert shuddered.” My first thought is: I don’t know what to make of this? Is Javert scared? Overwhelmed? Confused? Feeling Valjean’s authority? My second thought is: this is the start of Javert’s eventual change at the end of the novel. He cannot admit it to himself here, but he’s seeing Valjean act with the same selflessness and mercy that he’ll see with himself at the barricades and Marius at the sewers. His inner change can’t happen until then, but I wonder if this affects his later ability to change how he sees Valjean.

Fantine does get, like, the closest thing to a happy ending that any of the dead people in this book can get. Whatever Valjean tells or promises her, her spirit seems to hear and smiles. She suffers so much at the hands of society, at the hands of everyone, and she dies in betrayal and misery. It’s like the least Hugo could do was give her soul some sort of happiness after the fact.

[almondmisery]

The Court of Miracles is a book that exists.

It really does exist, and I really did read it. Here are some thoughts. Beware of spoilers, etc etc, but do you really want to read it?

(This is very long. The TL;DR is that the book was kinda bad and the things it did with the characters were very confusing.)

The Court of Miracles is set in an alternate universe 1828 France, where the people are basically split into three groups as far as I can tell: the nobles, regular citizens (Those Who Walk By Day, I think??), and a collection of criminal guilds, the Court of Miracles. It’s supposed to be an Éponine-centric Les Mis retelling. To call it that would be...generous, at best, I think.

The book begins with the story of how Éponine got into the Court of Miracles, specifically the Guild of Thieves. She steals a crown jewel from the dauphin of France at the tender age of 9 years old, and that’s that. (I’m pretty sure she’s 9--later in the book it says that by age 12 she had already been involved in the Guild for three years, so that’s what I’m sticking to.)

By the way, shout out to the dauphin--met a girl once when she was stealing something from him in the middle of the night and kissed him randomly, and has been simping for her ever since. Commitment. Speaking of which, the romance of this book...well. I found an answer on Goodreads that I think describes it well:

...Yeah. Everyone’s in love with Éponine, which like, fair, but also...ehhhhhh.

Her initial motivation in the book is saving Azelma--Azelma is her older sister in this book, and is sold (?) to the Tiger, Lord of the Guild of Flesh. This motivation changes after several chapters with no real explanation. We have a timeskip after Azelma is taken and Éponine joins the Guild of Thieves. (a kind of messy timeskip--I thought it was a flashback for several pages, which might be my bad reading comprehension, but from other reviews I’ve read, others also think the timeline is a little messy so! validation.) In this timeskip, we find that Éponine has been working with her father to sell Cosette (Ettie) to the Tiger, possibly in exchange for Azelma? My memory is a little hazy already and my loan is expired, so I can’t check :P

However, as this process is starting, Éponine finds a new purpose in life--protecting Cosette. I still am not sure why this happens, she just decides very suddenly that Cosette is her new little sister and everything is now about protecting Cosette. It’s not a bad motivation, it just feels very jarring when everything leading up to it was about protecting Azelma, and without much explanation that changes.

I’m realizing that explaining everything in this book would make this wayyyy too long, so let’s pick up the pace!

There are cannibals, but that doesn’t matter very much. Éponine breaks a dude out of a prison that no one else has been able to get into, without much trouble. During this time she frees another guy--his name is Valjean, and he now owes her big time. Everyone owes Éponine. The nobles are poisoning the water that everyone else drinks, which is unfortunate. There is a famine. Bad things are happening.

Enjolras St. Juste is a person who exists in this book. I don’t like him. He also has associates, or as they are referred to at least once, cronies. The named ones are Grantaire, Feuilly, and Joly, which would be an interesting combination if anything was done with them. Grantaire is still Grantaire, but Feuilly is now just...basically Combeferre. It’s like the author did the “if you could only have five amis who would you choose” thing but it’s only four and there seems to be no reasoning behind the decision. And they chose Combeferre, but then mixed up the names in the drafts, so it’s Feuilly.

There are musical references. Only a couple, but...yikes. One has already been mentioned I think, but here’s another—

haha, how clever.

This has nothing to do with anything, but they swear to Rennart and Ysengrim, mythical figures from Northwest European literature. This wouldn’t be anything but interesting trivia, except that I am long time Gunnerkrigg Court stan, and Reynard (this book uses Rennart, but it’s the same fox dude) and Ysengrin are characters in it. So every time I saw those names used, I was just like...

You mean these bitches?

Anyway. Read Gunnerkrigg Court.

Uhhh anything else...? I think that everything just felt very rushed in this book. Stuff happened, things were supposed to be challenging, but then...weren’t...Valjean and Cosette hated each other (D:). Oh yeah, one of the real conflicts (Cosette getting kidnapped) just turned out to be Éponine’s doing all along! She cashed in on Valjean’s debt to her and made him take care of Cosette. Okay.

Marius doesn’t exist in this book! I don’t know how I didn’t notice while reading (I guess it was just so removed from the source material in my head that I accepted it without question?), but yeah he is very notably Not There, which was apparently a very purposeful decision, as I guess Kester Grant hates Marius. :(

I posted about this while reading, and others have commented on it, but in this book, Javert is a woman and has a Past (TM) with Valjean. As the book puts it, “Le Maire broke her heart. And so she hunts him.”

Like, okay.

Here’s two quotes that I hated!

These are both Enjolras St. Juste. Enjonine agenda strong here.

Éponine commissioned the death of Lamarque. It’s not that important.

Bishop Myriel is the patron saint of thieves. It’s not that important.

Lots of things happen, but most of them don’t feel that important.

In conclusion: I can’t believe this got published, and I can’t wait to see what bullshit Grant pulls in the next book :-)

[dameferre]

would you post all the descriptions you wrote for the les amis quiz? would love to read the ones for the characters i didn't get!

absolutely!

it’s pretty long so under the cut, here is the official results list for:

which member of les amis (&co.) are you? [quarantine edition]

enjolras

You’re loud in your politics and opinions and quiet in your affections. You love the friends you surround yourself with, you love people you’ve never met, and you’re willing to do whatever you can to make the world even a little bit better for them. You choose your words and actions carefully, though you do occasionally find yourself in fights you know you can’t win. You fight anyway. During quarantine, you should:Try to avoid feelings of helplessness. Direct your passions towards something you can change, even if it’s just a small improvement. If the improvement is for the benefit of someone else, even better.

courfeyrac

You don’t do, or feel, things by halves. You make your presence, opinions, and feelings known. You’re a confidant and shoulder to cry on, as well as a go-to partner in crime. You’re so confidently yourself it allows others around you to be more authentic versions of themselves, and those close to you never doubt that they are loved. During quarantine, you should:Let your vast stockpiles of confidence take a hit and try something new that you might not be great at right away. You’ll have plenty of time to practice until you’re as amazing at whatever it is as you’re sure you are at everything else.

combeferre

You're a voice of reason and the calm before the storm. You're methodical and constantly curious, always investigating, always learning, forming and reforming opinions and hypotheses. You're quiet but firmly supportive of the people in your life, and are always at hand to provide a steady voice, solid ground, and common sense. During quarantine, you should:Try not to overwhelm yourself with this abundance of time. Sure, zipping through your Goodreads yearly book goal in a week seems like a great idea in the moment, but you'll burn out quick. Just because you have the time doesn't mean you have to constantly make the most of it.

jehan

You find wonder and poetry in everything. You especially appreciate things that are complex, beautiful, well-worded, theatrical, bold and grand. You're soft-spoken but never at a loss for words. The world is full of poetic possibilities and fascinating discoveries and you're happy to drift through it, quietly observing them all. During quarantine, you should:Try to help others find the same poetry in the ordinary as you do. It's more important than ever now that we're all seeing the exact same ordinary. Every day. Indefinitely.

feuilly

You're just like. A really good person. Congrats! You believe that family is something you choose, and that there is always good in the world worth fighting for. You've never let hardship slow you down or take away your optimism. You're always trying to better yourself, your circumstances, and those of others.  During quarantine, you should:Indulge your need for community, and family, in whatever way that manifests. Don't let the isolation get to you.

bahorel

You live loudly, and passionately, and you love to make a statement (in any number of ways). Walking away from conflict has never been your strong suit, but making an entrance might be. Making friends comes easy to you, keeping them even easier.  During quarantine, you should:Reach out to your friends. Being stagnant doesn't come easy to you and interacting with others will help. If that doesn't work, maybe try a TikTok dance challenge.

joly

You've got some anxieties. Who doesn't, really, during times like these? But what's important is that you don't let them consume you, don't let them dull you. You balance taking some things a bit too seriously by not taking other things seriously at all, and this ability to balance makes you a lively presence and treasured friend. During quarantine, you should:Make sure you, and those around you, know the facts about what's going on. Weed out the fake news, and all the lies and bullshit meant to induce mass hysteria.

bossuet

You've got a distinctive sense of humor that's integral to the way you go through life. Either everyone thinks you're hilarious, or only you do. Either way, somebody's laughing, and that's really all that matters. Making the best out of less-than-ideal situations is probably your purpose in life, and you're always there when a friend needs a pick-me-up. During quarantine you should:Reach out to those people who may need a little help looking on the bright side of things.

grantaire

You maintain a vaguely unhealthy balance of not taking some things seriously enough and taking some things way too seriously. You have a lot of good qualities, but you'd be the last person to say so. Your friends would probably be worried about you, if you'd let them. You might have a tendency to push away the good things in your life, but at least you're having fun and living on your terms. Right? During quarantine you should:Acquire a new skill. You probably already have a bunch, but this specific skill is called loving yourself and convincing yourself that you deserve the good things in your life. And for the love of god, don't text your ex.(alternatively, say: 'grantaire is not the character i should be relating to.' in the mirror a few times; see if it helps)

eponine

You're a bit rough around the edges, and maybe depend on others for your happiness a bit too much. But you're clever, interesting and unique and when you find your people, you're loyal to them. You know how to spin difficult situations to your advantage, and are quick on your feet. During quarantine, you should:Take some time for self care and self love.

musichetta

You're the ultimate definition of a background character taking centre stage. You don't sell yourself short, and aren't afraid to go after what you want. You find comfort in humor, you're pragmatic, and you've got an easy-going nature that puts others at ease. During quarantine, you should:Remember to find ways to lighten the experience, even in unexpected areas.

cosette

You've been through a lot, but you're still smiling. You live your genuine truth, and refuse to let a cruel world dim your light. You take pleasure in the little things, and believe that beauty and love can be found anywhere, if given the right circumstances to grow. You know that while things may never be perfect, they can always get better, and there's something beautiful in that possibility. During quarantine, you should:Not force yourself to be always positive all the time. Maybe you've been through shittier situations, and maybe some people have it worse, but it's okay to acknowledge that this specific situation sucks, and you wish you could just fucking go outside.

marius

Sure sometimes you can be a) a goof or b) a bit basic, but you've got a good heart, and life's hard. No one can fault you for living it in your way. You might not always know the right thing to say, or do, but you're sincere and your heart's in the right place, so you always seem to make it work in the end. Your feelings exist in extremes, and there's little you wouldn't do for the people you love. During quarantine, you should:Expand your horizons a little bit, see what's out there. You've got the time. Also, please don't text your ex.

[trompe-la-mort]

Los miserables, 1971 – “Holy Hugo, they included ‘insert rare scene here’!”

Wrote this a while ago and realised I never posted it. So here goes.

Do you have a favourite obscure scene or detail in Les misérables that hardly ever makes the cut in screen adaptations? If you do, this might just be the adaptation for you. If you want to see an adaptation that tells the story well, however, this is not for you.

It's a nineteen-part (coincidence? I think not...) TV adaptation by the Spanish channel RTVE within its show “Novela”, a show of multiple literature adaptations that ran for fifteen years in total!

And the best part: You can see it all online on RTVE's webpage: http://www.rtve.es/alacarta/videos/los-miserables/

You can skip all episodes with mod 5 = 1 (except the first one), those are the episodes originally shown on Mondays, recapping what happened last week.

Like the Italian TV adaptation, this is unfortunately hindered by its budget. Unlike the Italian TV adaptation, this has the additional problem of its screenwriter's frankly bizarre understanding of concepts such as “pacing” and “importance”.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's rather cool to have an adaptation that includes many of the more obscure scenes, but I know the book and I know the context for all of these. I think asking how much sense the plot actually makes to someone who only knows this adaptation is a legitimate question.

Time is “wasted” on montages, dream-sequences and scenes of characters tossing and turning in bed, all of them many times longer than they have any right to be. Partially, it feels like the screenwriter couldn't decide which plot details to include and then just tried to incorporate as many of them as possible – continuity be damned. As an example, he took the time to include Mabeuf's death at the barricade, but it doesn't mean anything, since it happens to a character we have never seen before. Because Mabeuf's entire background is missing. To top it off, the watching students call him “le conventionel”, probably just to tick another box on the check list. To get another time saver, “show, don't tell” is occasionally blatantly violated. We get Valjean's entire history from him telling his life story to the bishop. The backstory of Marius and Gillenormand is conveyed in their fight before Marius leaves, meaning all the info is solely for the benefit of the audience, because all characters involved already know this stuff. Yet, bizarrely, they occasionally have time for a “show” where none would have been necessary. We get a far too long montage of Fantine with Cosette in Paris, that includes Fantine getting fired from her old job. Honestly, you can cover the question of why Fantine leaves Paris with a single line – you know, like it's done in the original?

I wouldn't usually mind, but it not only messes up the pacing, but it also takes up time that could have been used to flesh out some of the details. Or even some of the main plot points. We have Marius letting Thénardier go at the end, but Marius doesn't owe him a debt in this one. It might have made the Gorbeau robbery easier, but at the end, Marius has no real reason to not call the police. That is, if Thénardier is even a prison escapee. It's never shown nor mentioned how he got out of prison after the Gorbeau house robbery. On a smaller scale, it leads to a few bizarre moments, where introductions or transitions are missing, as if someone was trying to cut the corners wherever possible. For example, one episode starts with Marius' and Gillenormand's fight, without any introduction to their conflict or any real introduction of the characters (apart from Marius being the cute boy from the park). Or take the Champmathieu trial. The prosecutor asks for the witnesses to be heard and the very next moment, the judge is already questioning Brevet. No scene of the witnesses entering the room or at least the camera pointing out that they've been there all the time (because I definitely missed that in the overhead shots of the fairly small courtroom set); no scene of the judge calling the first witness, which becomes even worse when he does it to every subsequent witness.

Between this kind of overly short editing and long, drawn-out scenes of Marius healing (which commits the additional cardinal sin of making us think that it's finally over with a short conversation, only to continue for another minute or so) or of Fantine tossing on her bed (which we only later realise is prossibly Cosette's birth!), it feels a bit like there were too many people involved and no two of them could disagree over the tone and style of this adaptation.

I have another, if slightly petty, complaint: Why do the opening credits contain pictures of scenes we never get to see? It makes it pretty hard to identify which actor played which character and it also made it look they would include scenes that end up not being there. From the credits, you could be forgiven for thinking that there are scenes in Toulon, that Valjean's sister shows up or that they include the scene where Éponine stops Patron-Minette from robbing the house in the Rue Plumet. None of these actually happen.

Just to finish my list of complaints about this adaptation, let me talk about Javert. Now, I like the basic idea of what they did with the character, if only because it is the opposite to what most other adaptations do. In many adaptations, Javert is portrayed as a far more villainous character than in the book. These guys went the opposite way. Javert is calm and polite most of the time (making his one outburst when he arrests Valjean even more meaningful) and in one scene seems concerned about Fantine's safety (while she's still employed at Madeleine's factory that is), when he meets her in a disreputable part of town after dark and insists on accompanying her to her destination. Yes, it's later made clear that he still uses this to find out what she was doing there in the first place and this is what kicks off the chain of events leading to Mme Victurnien finding out about Cosette, but the two scenes taken together imply that Javert is both caring about the safety of an innocent civilian and spying on said civilian, just in case they're not as innocent as they seem to be. If they had done it like this throughout the movie I wouldn't be complaining.

Yet, it also means they had Javert come up to Madeleine, stating that he is happy to be the first to congratulate him about his appointment as mayor. It makes Javert's later resentment of Madeleine seem quite petty. Or the end of the “Confrontation”, where Javert, rather than leading Valjean out  of the room, just makes a hand gesture to ask him to step out. Which again could have worked, but then he would have had to stay polite for all of the scene. Which he didn’t. They also decided not to stick to it for the entirety of the series. The portrayal of Javert in the later parts is more “traditional”, so to speak.

The acting is solid, for the most part, but hardly ever outstanding, although I’m likely not the best judge. Valjean's acting is fairly, occasionally too, subtle and he's a bit too calm for my taste in his entire encounter with the bishop. The actor, Pepe Calvo, is better known for his work in spaghetti western movies and I've by now realised that the reason he seemed familiar to me from the beginning is because of the western “Dead Men Ride” which I saw as a child, in which he plays a Myriel-like character of all things. I've described my thoughts on Javert, but I think that is due to decisions by the director and the scriptwriter, not the actor. Fantine has an annoying tendency to overact, especially in the later parts of her appearance. Cosette, fortunately not played by the same actress, is a bit boring. Little Cosette, however, does outstanding work for a child actress. Both Thénardiers are decent; they went the “Mme Thénardier needs to look sufficiently trustworthy for Fantine to leave her child with her”-route and she doesn't quite manage to be as scary as she should be. Everybody else is rather unremarkable.

Oh, and while we're at it: If you cast as Cosette an actress who actually looks like a teenager and as Marius an actor who might be in his early thirties, you need to specify that Marius is only a few years older than Cosette. Please!

But now to what I like about this adaptation: It's occasionally insane attention to details.

I've complained about the over-abundance of dream-sequences, but some of them really work. Showing one of Cosette's daydreams explains her life, character and dreams much better than any number of “real” scenes could have. Even more awesome is the inclusion of Valjean's dream before the Champmathieu trial. I mean, “Tempête sous un crâne” is usually going to be a weird scene anyway, you might just replace it with a weird dream while you're at it. Also, holy shit, they included Valjean's dream! That's a definite first.

Here's a list of further uncommon scenes this movie has: -Valjean steals Petit-Gervais's coin, although he does it before meeting the bishop -The bishop gets some exposition. It's only done in two conversations with his sister and Mme Magloire, but it's there -The scene of Tholomyès and Co. dumping the girls -A meeting of the Amis verbatim from the book -Gillenormand believes Marius to be dead and faints when Marius opens his eyes.

And here's a list of crazily uncommon scenes this movie has: -Fantine's meeting with the Thénardiers includes the girls using a cart chain as a swing -Details about work in the jet factory -Fantine thinks she hears Cosette outside the hospital -Cosette lying about watering the guest's horse -The coffin-escape! In full, glorious length and details. -Javert has a letter from the prefect in his pocket -Marius' note to identify his corpse -Escaping from the barricade in National Guard uniforms (although Valjean doesn't put in the one he is currently wearing) -Valjean writes the letter explaining to Cosette the origins of his fortune

Also, the ending is really well done. I really recommend you watch it for yourself, I don't think describing it can do it justice.

Generally, avoid this for a first look at Les Mis, but for a fan this is an interesting adaptation to watch and I suggest you give at least some parts a look, if only for the novelty.

[arcadianambivalence]

Les Miserables 2018 Reactions

Episode One

A title card gives a brief summary of the situation in France before dropping us into the day after the Battle of Waterloo, when the “glory” of battle is over and the gore remains. 

 Rather fitting for a series translated to The Miserable (or Wretched) Ones.

Yikes.  British viewers really weren’t kidding about the typeface.  Or that 1970s slasher movie red.

But in all honesty, I like the change in opening.  It’s a bold move, sure, but it grounds viewers in a specific time in history (so only the inattentive can make the “it takes place during the French Revolution” mistake) and functions as a mirror of the eventual end.  

**Book spoilers**

A Ponmercy possibly dead at the scene of a failed conflict?

A man surviving conflict and returning home to be separated from his child by Gillenormand?

Does this not sound like a bitter cycle when we know this story ends in Marius surviving a failed conflict and Valjean surviving conflict and returning home to be separated from his child by Gillenormand(‘s grandson)?

And to top it all off, the title card ends with: “The old order will be restored.  The revolution forgotten.”  Aside from Les Miserables, how often do you hear of the June Rebellion?

The Opening

Rain, mud, dead horses, trees shattered by cannonballs...the cinematography feels Romantic (capital R) already.  A horse flutters its eyes (Is this a reference to Napoleon’s war horse Marengo, famously depicted in Napoleon Crossing the Alps by Jacques-Louis David?)

Thenardier (!) rushes onto the screen, injecting it with a surge of adrenaline.  Laughing (?), he hops from one dead soldier to the next, picking pockets and collecting anything of value he can get his hands on relatively quickly.  And he’s not alone.  There are other looters, and there are British soldiers chasing them in the background.

(Are we supposed to see a parallel between this and the way society is shown to treat its ‘dead’ and ‘dying’? Or are the British soldiers chasing people breaking laws, or at least morals, representative of how the Law works in the series?)

...But I can do without Thenardier cackling the entire time.

Anyway, he starts to loot one soldier crushed under a fallen horse when the soldier regains consciousness and, thinking Thenardier pulled him out for charitable reasons, thanks him for saving his life.  Could it be Baron Pontmercy?

The Pontmercy Plot

In a rare adaptation appearance, a living Baron Pontmercy returns home alive.  The streets of Paris initially seem colorful and thriving, but lintering shots of homeless beggars.  Pontmercy’s father-in-law, Gillenormand, rejects him for siding with Napoleon.  He goes into the “I’m glad my daughter is dead” trope, then ends it with a biting “I thank God I may never see you again.”

“It’s your lot they’re strining up from lamposts now,” Gillenormand says as we are shown a precious toddler overhearing everything. This is Pontmercy’s son, Marius, a little baby boy who will be raised to hate his own father by his grandfather.

Nicolette sneaks out of Gillenormand’s house to tell Pontermcy where he can see Marius at church.

The Fantine Plot - Part 1

A few feet away, a young Fantine is trying to convince her friends that she’s not naive and that she can take care of herself (I’ll wait for a Cosette callback in later episodes).  I like seeing Fantine as a carefree young woman instead of being introduced to Fantine after she had and separated from Cosette.  It makes her slow descent even worse when we see how youngshe is.

Also, we were just introduced to one man who is denied custody of his son by a gatekeeper of society, and now here is a woman who will eventually have to give up custody of her daughter by the circumstances of her society.  Nice parallel!

The Valjean Plot

The yellow filter and the music makes this feel like a Western.  This town ain’t big enough for the both of us, 24601...

Valjean sees one of the guards beating a prisoner and causes an avalanche that pins down the guard (so he visually echoes Pontmercy under the horse in the opening scene).  Why does Valjean attempt murder?  Well, this adaptation’s Valjean senses the injustice and wants to balance out this unjust society through violence (again, foreshadowing).

But when he hears the pinned man’s agony, he realizes he isn’t that person.  He isn’t capable of committing a crime like that without guilt.  So out empathy and guilt, he goes to lift the weight.  A man lifting a weight from a man pinned under debris? Hmm...forshadowing.  A man lifting a weight off someone pinned under the rocks (of society?)  Hmm...symbolic.

Javert, who has been watching the entire thing, stares down at Valjean.  That night, Valjean is brought to Javert’s office.  Javert asks, “What was that about today?”  Valjean looks at him like Because I’m a decent human being?  That’s why...

Javert’s backstory is really, uh, shoe-horned in there, isn’t it?  Could have revealed it later when he unwittingly befriends Madeleine or something...No?

Javert says, “Men like us have only two choices: to prey on society or to guard it.”  And, well, you could view every male character we’ve met so far through that lens: Pontmercy vs. Thenardier and Gillenormand, Valjean vs. Javert.  

But who’s really the one preying on people here?

The Fantine Plot - Part 2

Speaking of prey, Fantine’s out on the town with her friends.  She meets eyes with Felix, and her friend Favourite urges her to be more forward with the attraction.  Felix wastes no time playing the charming dance partner.  The slow music switches to something more lively (and tell me if you don’t have the tiniest reminder of that below-decks dance in Titanicin this moment).

Ugh.  These Fantine night scenes look gorgeous.  Like a (modern) outdoor wedding.

“You have to remember they’re not serious...they’re amusing themselves.” The harsh voice of experience doles out some foreshadowing.  “Why should it always be like that?”  Fantine asks. The voice of change we hear throughout this series, too.

The Fantine section is also filmed like Davies’ more famous adaptations (lulling unwitting audiences into a false sense of security about where this is going...)

So many period drama romance tropes.  It really does feel completely different from any other adaptation I’ve seen in this section.  I like it.

Felix tries every trick in the book: I didn’t care about anyone before you.  I’m going to be a poet, and you’ll be my use.  Have mercy on me, I’m suffering with love for you.  But Fantine has never read the playbook, and she kisses him, despite her doubts.

The Pontmercy Plot - Part 2

In case you weren’t against this prison system before, the prisoners are forced to watch an execution in a brief scene that cuts to Gillenormand saying, “order restored.  Now everyone knows their place again.”

Gillenormand convinces his grandson into believe his dad’s a “scoundrel” for his political stance. Throughout the scene, little Marius is playing with army figurines, too.  Hmm…can you hear commentary about how wrong this situation is yet?  (The book isn’t subtle about this is, either)

Baron Pontmercy is reduced to waiting for a glimpse of his son at church.  It hurts in the book, and it hurts here, too.  Oh, and the religious theme comes in.  (And a nice Mabeuf cameo).

This is a good time for an unpopular opinion: I’m fine with the cuts between the Pontmercy, Fantine, and Valjean stories.  It makes the later inclusion of more characters and the eventual intertwining of some of these plots feel natural.  It also shows how different people in this society suffer completely different unfair circumstances that bloom from this society and culture.

The Valjean Plot - Part 3

Is this what Daves meant by “sexing up “Les Miserables with a nude, underfed, and whipped Valjean?  He’s muscular from forced labor.  Not really sexy.

“You have your name back, Monsieur 24601.”  Hey.  This will be ironic in hindsight!  

Oh, and (un)paid labor for prisoners commentary, too.  Valjean’s furious.  But why wouldn’t he be?  Nearly two decades for petty theft.  And in those conditions.

Valjean carries those barrels like he’s carrying the world.  (Do you see the Jesus symbolism yet?)

But if he carried any hope that life outside of prison would be any more rewarding, he is quickly corrected.  More manual labor with little pay.  Chased away from a place to stay by dogs.  Pointed to the church by a kind woman.  (All in all, pretty book accurate—down to the ensuing conversation)

Cut from one faceless shot of Valjean to the Bishop, connecting the two.

Bishop with spectacles.  Awww.

Valjean has the bluntness that comes across in the translations of the brick (I’ve never read it in French.  Is he blunt there, too?)

The comparison Valjean draws between the religious authority figures in prison versus the Bishop here is a nice book reference, and it shows that he is very much aware of his terrible situation and how imbalanced society is (in and out of prison) versus the (actual) Christian values shown by the Bishop

“How can I love my fellow man when he treats me like a dog?”

“Even if the world has done you a great injustice.  Does it really serve you to have a heart full of bitterness and hatred?”

Ooh.  The quandry at the heart of this adaptation’s Valjean.

So what if it’s on the nose?  It’s for viewers introduced to the book for the first time.  Books are a well.  Shows are a pool.  It’s the detriment of adaptation.

“What about the silverware?”  The bishop, knowing full well it must have been taken by Valjean, “I can’t help you, I’m afraid.”

In the few minutes he’s part of this episode, the Bishop is The Perfect Christian example that Valjean (and even other characters) will follow in various ways

The vulnerability and disbelief in Valjean’s eyes when he realizes somebody’s helpinghim and even covering for him...

Valjean’s little chuckle when he realizes he’s free again

Valjean’s what am I supposed to do with these?look at the candlesticks.  Heh

“Jean Valjean, you do not belong to evil anymore.  You belong to good.  I have bought your soul with this silver and these candlesticks.”  Again in this adaptation, there’s this sense that Valjean didn’t choose to better himself, but it was foisted onto him (the Holy Spirit foisted on him) until he eventually makes the choice to let it in himself

The episode began with Thenardier stealing and showing no signs of remorse.  It ends with Valjean stealing and being presented with the means to turn his life around.  Nice bookends—is what I would say if the episode ended here.  But there’s more!

The Fantine Plot - Part 3

Oh, the “sexing up” was with Fantine and Felix.  Just some family-friendly snuggles as he drops hints he’s going to leave her and her baby.

Fantine has a caged bird in her room.  Symbolism.

Felix, Fantine, and their friends are out on a double (well, tripple) date. The guys tease a “surprise” for the women.  What could it be?  A beautiful day outside.  A meal at a fancy restaraunt.  Could they plan on...proposing?

Nope!  This is a last hurrah before the guys leave to return to their “respectable” families.

I’m surprised we got an abbreviated Felix speech from the book. Didn’t expect that.  And it’s all the more irritating for his character when you know what comes next: the men quietly leave the room as their girlfriends wait excitedly for the “surprise.”  But the light drains from the eyes of all three of the women as they read the “surprise,” a letter stating that their boyfriends (and financial support) are leaving them forever.

The Ending

Meanwhile, Valjean leaves the village, angry at the Bishop for “buying” his soul.  Conflicted, he rests beneath a tree.  Then a little voice grows louder.  Is it--? Yes, it’s Petit-Gervais playing with a sou and singing down the road. Valjean steps on the coin (almost intentionally) and scares Petit-Gervais away.

This is different from the book.  In the book, he goes into a trance during this moment and only realizes he’s standing on the coin later (which conveniently absolves him of guilt in the reader’s eyes).  Here, Valjean is brought back to the reality of his actions by the tolling of the church bell.  He stole from a little boy like the prison system stole from him.  A few scenes ago, he was that little boy.  And he tries to do the right thing and return the coin.  Like in the book, he calls for the boy to come back, but the child is gone, and Valjean is a thief again.

Meanwhile, Fantine returns home to her happy baby.  She moves to curl up on the bed and cry, but the needs of her daughter Cosette draws her back to the world.  Felix is no father, but Fantine is still a mother.

Valjean is free, but Fantine is about to enter a different kind of prison.

Overall, I liked this episode.  There were a few changes I would have made, like concealing Javert’s backstory until episode 2 (or even later) to build up a sense of mystery to him.  Thenardier was too…jovial to me, also.  Finally, that scene of the women gossiping in the woods was unnecessarily choreographed, and I’m surprised PBS actually aired that scene.

When I first heard about some of the adaptational changes, I was wary of this series, but now that I see them in context, they aren’t too bad.  I think an angry Valjean could make for a more dramatic transformation in later episodes.  I loved Derek Jacobi as the Bishop and Lily Collins as Fantine.  

But my favorite choice of this miniseries was the way it made the Valjean plot, the Fantine plot, and the Pontmercy plot run concurrently to highlight the similarities in their situations.  

In the book, Hugo describes Valjean’s situation in one “book,” then switches to Fantine and goes back in time a few years to explore her experiences before her plot meets Valjean’s plot.  It allows for the reader to get invested in each uninterrupted arc, but what works on paper doesn’t translate well to screen.  There must be change.

We’ll see what other page to screen changes were made in the upcoming episodes.  Les Miserables airs Saturday nights on PBS.

[jaeminlore]

Do You Wanna Dance? | Jaemin

summary: do you wanna dance? hold my hand? words: 3k category: lifeguard!jaemin, fluff, slight angst a/n: this one isn't too bad. also... i love jaemin

You love vacationing in Salos. Granted, this is your first time, but you can't think of anywhere better to spend a month before heading back to New York. You love the sun, the clear air, the sand, the water, and most importantly — the view.

More specifically, the extremely cute boy who perches on the lifeguard stand every morning in front of the resort. Your favorite pastime is sitting in your rented beach chair, getting a tan and watching the already-tanned boy do his job ever-so-cutely.

His name is Jaemin, and you only know this because every morning he does his rounds of making sure guests have paid for their rented chairs and umbrellas. And every morning, around nine, he walks over in his stark red board shorts, with that silver whistle thumping against his lean chest and a voice so deep it makes your toes curl into the sand.

It doesn't help that he's warm, in every sense of the word. He radiates positive energy, and always has a new compliment to give to you or your family. At first, you thought his flattery was the only reason you developed such a crush on the boy. But as the days pass, you realize that can't be true. Because you're mesmerized by his actions and absolutely captivated with the way he talks to the resort guests.

Around noon, an older college student will take his place.

There have mornings when you thought about following him. However stalker-ish it may sound, you're positive he must have an interesting and exciting life. Someone like him, with an award-winning smile and a bright personality, has to.

It's the second Monday of your vacation, when your mother casually mentions that the three of you are from New York.

You're busy staring at the smear of sunscreen that Jaemin hasn't quite rubbed into his shoulder yet. Your arm twitches, instinct telling you to rub it in, but common sense reminds you of how dumb that plan is.

In the midst of your inner conflict, you realize Jaemin is talking to you.

His eyes twinkle, so much so that you'd bet he had real diamonds behind his pupils. "You've been to Broadway shows?"

"Of course," you say, finding strength somewhere in the way Jaemin is looking at you with utter fascination.

"My dream is to perform on Broadway. You should see my room, honestly, I've got so much memorabilia I bought off of Ebay, you'd think I was a season ticket holder."

You find yourself giggling, and Jaemin cocks his head to the side. "No siblings?"

"Just me."

"Friends?"

"Back home."

Jaemin tuts, much like a grandmother after finding out her grandchild has yet to eat any sweets. "Well that just won't do! Not on an island like this, where there's so much to see. You have to share it with friends, not with your parents. That's boring."

He cuts a quick, apologetic look to your parents and continues, "I have a few friends who work all around the boardwalk if you ever want to meet them. And every Friday, there's this bonfire all the kids throw on the beach. It's so much fun. We even go surfing at night sometimes."

Jaemin has this fascinating way of speaking, the kind that pulls you into a fantasy or a daydream and has you thinking so much about how you like his voice, that you end up forgetting to listen to it. It's addicting. "Tell you what, if you want to hang out, give me your number, and I'll text you when I'm off work. If you don't, just tell me and my feelings won't be hurt."

You believe him, but your entire body refuses to reject him, despite how awkward you assume this whole ordeal is going to go. "Okay. Give me your phone."

And that marks the beginning of a happy summer.

☼

When Jaemin meets you at the boardwalk later that evening, he's wearing jean shorts and a pink button down shirt. It has three top buttons undone and for a moment you let yourself stare at his collarbones more than socially acceptable.

You want to think he dressed up for you, but then your eyes pan down to the black crocs on his feet and you think it's a safe bet that he genuinely doesn't care what he looks like.

It kind of makes you like him more.

"So my friends, Jeno and Donghyuck, always hang out at this weird part of the beach. It's like the only strip of public property between the resort's private beach and the university's private beach, so it's barely used. There are these cute little caves too, and crabs scuttle around all the time. I think it's a Salos experience you need."

You nod, only because his large smile is paralyzing your vocal chords. It'd be a miracle if you talk to Jaemin at all during this little trek. Luckily, he doesn't seem to mind.

He tells you about his day as the two of you walk down the boardwalk, towards the university. The tone in his voice is light and playful, and when you zone out, he brings you back to reality with a whine and a poke to your side. "You aren't listening to me."

"I am," you say. Because you are. You're listening to the way his voice reverberates against the ocean's breeze. You're taking note of how high his voice gets when he imitates his friends, and how drawn-out his syllables are when he's complaining. You want to tell him all of this, but it sounds strange, like you shouldn't be having these thoughts; not yet. Not so soon.

You walk in silence, only stopping when Jaemin does. "Hyuck hates my crocs."

You're glad he brought up his strange footwear, because it was beginning to feel like the elephant in the room. "Well, you have to admit they aren't fashion forward."

Jaemin rolls his eyes and places his hand on your shoulder. At first, you're startled, but then he bends down to take off his shoes and socks one by one. "And here I was thinking you would be an ally." He snorts and shakes his head, "Anyway, it's just down here."

You slip out of your sandals and follow him down a few wooden stairs until you're under the pier.

Jaemin was right. Under here, there seem to be cave structures, and little pools of water that the tide just couldn't reel back in. Sitting beside one of these pools are two boys, both strangely handsome, and part of you thinks there must be something in the water. Maybe you should drink more of it.

"Y/n, this is Jeno and this is Donghyuck. Guys, this is Y/n."

"Are you a guest at the resort?" The boy with a black rash guard on — Jeno — furrows his brows.

"Yeah, I'm here for a month."

Donghyuck hums. You get distracted by his red hair for a moment, mostly because it reminds you of The Little Mermaid. Then he says a few questionable words, "But Jaemin's never brought around a guest before. Strange."

Jaemin laughs a bit too loudly. "You know what's stranger? I wore my crocs with dinosaur socks."

"Jaemin, you're hopeless. You can't become a broadway star and wear crocs. You'll be bullied by your own costars." And just like that, the three boys forget about the previous conversation and launch into a heated debate about fashion.

So you, not wanting to miss out on any of the fun, jump in to defend Jaemin. But in the back of your mind, the knowledge that you're the first guest Jaemin's ever shown around sticks like a wad of chewing gum.

And that marks the beginning of a confusing summer.

☼

Jaemin's wearing sneakers today, and he says it's because it's his off day, and he can afford to take the extra time to lace up his shoes.

When you comment on how dramatic he is, you receive a serious reply, "I know it sounds dumb, but working two jobs makes it hard to brings sneakers around. I can go barefoot on duty, but then I need something to walk home in. You can understand where sneakers would get complicated since my feet are usually covered in sand.

His logic isn't flawed, until you remember the fact that he wore socks with his crocs, and that alone sounds harder than putting on any type of tennis shoe. Also, he could just rinse his feet and dry them off at the public shower.

But he isn't hurting anyone, so you forget about it. "You work two jobs, huh?"

Jaemin presses his lips together and nods. "The resort in the morning and the university in the evening. It's a simple-enough job, but it definitely takes up the majority of my weekdays. It pays really well, and I need that money for theatre school."

"What's your favorite play? Like, if you could be any character in any play at all, on broadway or off, which would you pick and why?"

Jaemin doesn't ponder for even a moment. "Marius from Les Mis."

"Why?"

"Because... I don't know, I feel like there's more to him than the story tells. Sure, he's so blinded by love he nearly forgets what he's fighting for, but then it twists, and he realizes his love is what he's fighting for. And if I were him for just a day, I'd want to show the audience that it isn't a bad thing to fall in love. It's okay to let happy, safe things consume you. That's what Marius did, and he survived."

You hum. "I never thought about it like that. To be honest, I think I would be Fantine. She really gave up everything for her daughter, and listening the raw emotion behind her song live is just... I don't know how to describe it, but it's something I'll never forget."

"Isn't the theatre magical?" Jaemin does a twirl as he walks, nearly tripling on a loose plank. "I love plays and how a story can be told on a stage. The thought of performing in front of such a big audience, embodying someone else completely, and telling their story with all the passion in your heart makes me long for it."

"Is there a theatre school here?"

"Yeah. It's pretty good, and scouts come around often. I wish I would've gotten accepted into Juilliard, but obviously that didn't happen. I think the officials just assume Salos isn't a real place."

"Na Jaemin, are you making excuses for not getting accepted?"

Jaemin giggles slightly and bumps his shoulder against yours. "Seriously, I sang Waving Through a Window and I don't think I've ever sang anything so nicely in my life. I should've gotten a callback or something."

"You're very sure of yourself. I like that." It comes out strangely, like you tried to take it back before you could even say it.

Jaemin seems appreciative nonetheless, and you happily listen to him talk about how hard it was to gain confidence.

And that marks the beginning of a friendly summer.

☼

For a week, it was acquaintanceship. For the next week, it was friendship. Now, it's something more: you're sure of it.

There's not a bone in your body that doesn't feel strongly about Jaemin, and you don't think you're crazy to assume he thinks the same way as you.

So far, you've spent nearly every day of your vacation with him, and on days the two of you couldn't meet up, he'd call you and the two of you would go on for hours about nothing in particular. It's ridiculous, if you're being honest. There's no logical reason why a boy you met two weeks ago should have such a large effect on you.

But he does, and you aren't sure how to ignore it. You aren't even sure you want to ignore it.

You aren't sure you can ignore it, not when Donghyuck has paid for two tickets on the ferris wheel. He shoves you and Jaemin into one of the colorful pods before the two of you can protest. And suddenly, it's just you and Jaemin, sitting across from each other.

Jaemin looks really pretty. You don't know how he could embody such a delicate word, but he does. He just looks ethereal, and with the sun shining through the pink-tinted windows of the pod, you think he looks even better than usual.

"Y/n, I know I have a wonderful profile but must you keep staring?"

You start and look away before Jaemin can catch the blush forming on the apples of your cheeks. "It's easy to get distracted with you."

"Why?"

Jaemin looks so genuinely confused that you have to burst into laughter. "Why? Because you're extremely handsome, and nice, and wonderful, and sometimes it takes me awhile to process all of that."

"Y/n, are you confessing to me?" Jaemin doesn't look smug, or flirty. He just looks happy, in the simplest sense. He looks joyful, maybe a little bashful.

It makes your stomach do a weird flip. "I guess so."

Jaemin suddenly looks jittery, like his excitement might suddenly burst the bright pink pod open. "Does that mean I can hold your hand when we get out?"

"Yes..?"

And so marks the beginning of a lovesick summer.

☼

"Do you hear music?"

You almost don't hear him, once again, but this time it's because he's holding your hand. With every brush of his thumb against your knuckles, you zone out. Just a bit. He's held your hand every day for nearly two weeks, and you want to say that you will never get used to the feeling, but that simply isn't true.

You're used to the feeling already. It feels perfect, like a missing puzzle piece finally sliding back into its slot. You're used to many things about Jaemin, like the way he always smells faintly of sunscreen, or the way his hair sticks up slightly in the back if he doesn't comb it when it's wet. You're used to him bursting out into song, even if it's hushed and quiet, just because he feels like it. You're used to his odd sense of style when it comes to shoes, and his even odder sense of mellowness when it comes to other's opinions. Except Hyuck's of course, but you've noticed Jaemin has a bit of a soft spot for the six boys who work at the boardwalk.

"What song is it?" You manage to say as Jaemin pulls you into one of the boardwalk's open restaurants. There's a live band inside, singing a mellow song you feel like you've heard before.

"I Like Me Better," Jaemin says quietly.

You look up at his face and notice how entranced he is in the music. "Do you wanna dance with me?"

Jaemin looks somber as he slides his hand across your side and rests it against the small of your back. You rest one of your hands on his shoulder. He gathers your free hand into his and presses them between the two of you, just where your hearts would meet.

The air around you is sweet as Jaemin sways you back and forth. His nose keeps brushing against your forehead, and the comfortable feeling of warmth that pools down to your fingertips makes you want to pause this night forever.

Jaemin sighs and presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead. "So you're leaving Saturday morning?"

"Yeah," you breathe, "we have tomorrow, if you want to go to the bonfire or something."

Jaemin's grip on your hand tightens for a moment. "Maybe we could go somewhere else instead. Somewhere where we can be alone."

And so marks the beginning of a heartbreaking summer.

☼

On your walk to the little hidden place under the pier, you think of how dumb you must be to fall in love over the course of a month. It's careless, reckless, absolutely idiotic, and yet you wouldn't change a thing about it.

Because Na Jaemin is one of those people you only have the chance of meeting once in your life. He's fleeting, like dew in midday, but he leaves his mark wherever he goes, and you can't help but feel a little thankful that you got to spend some time with him.

However selfish the motives, you hope Jaemin will become a broadway star soon, so that the two of you can cross paths again. Or perhaps, if you can save enough money, you could move down here.

But that all puts a hold on your life. And while Jaemin is everything to you right now, you know giving up your university of choice for him is a dumb move. So you don't do it.

But you want to. You really, really want to.

And when the two of you sit on the sand, shoes and jackets discarded somewhere along the way, Jaemin's lips meet yours. His fingers thread through your hair as he gently pushes you down until you're laying in the sand and he's hovering above you.

He places soft kisses on your lips; innocent, but the soft words of affection he squeezes inbetween each one make your toes curl into the sand once more.

There's sand in your hair, and your shirt, and your shorts, but with the attention Jaemin's giving you right now, you can't find it in yourself to care.

Jaemin's hands feel good on your waist, and his lips taste like honey. He's addicting in every way, and the thought of going without him for even a day makes you want to break down in tears.

But you don't. Not until Jaemin curls against you and falls asleep to the sound of the tide. And you, running your fingers through his hair, let out a choked sob. Because you know you're going to have to wake him up, and when you do, it'll officially be over.

You decide to rip the bandage off. "Jaemin, wake up."

And so marks the beginning of a lonely summer.

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Les Mis rant

So BBC’s Valjean is a literal piece of shit.

When done right, this is one of my favourite characters in media. And most adaptations of Les Mis usually get the dude pretty well done. I’ll admit that most Valjean portrayals probably lean the character too far into ‘saint’ territory when he’s only just been released from prison without much real focus on development, but that can be forgiven as he’s in there for an understandable ‘crime’ anyway, so I’d rather they start off too nice rather than too mean-spirited. I thought Gérard Depardieu did this really well in the 2000 French version where they also showed him stealing the coin from the boy, because it came off as more desperate than cruel. He also did a good job of capturing the warmth of the character as well so we could see the conflict in the two sides of Valjean as he was still learning to reform and be a good person.

But this latest Valjean is way too much of a dick. He came off like a snarling bully in the first episode but I could forgive that as he was just released from prison and pretty broken by twenty years of hell. Given the extra run time than a standard movie, I expected we would see more time devoted to his character development from convict to hero.

Now we’re onto episode 2 and the Fantine ‘chapter’, which is always a joyful ride. But this version did something I’ve never seen any Les Mis adaptation do before - they had Valjean be present when Fantine is sacked AND have him be aware that she has a ‘bastard’ child. In every other version I’ve seen, and I’m pretty sure in the book as well unless someone can correct me, he’s not there. He isn’t aware of anything other than some trouble with the employees which he leaves to his foreman or forewoman whatever to deal with. Yes, that is shitty, but it’s commonplace in employments, and being oblivious to your workers plight is naive, but not outright cruel. Here Valjean chastises her for lying, when at this point he’s not even using his real name and has constructed a whole new identity for himself, and allows the cruel work mistress bitch to call her all the slurs under the sun. And I bet, like all versions, they will get nothing come back to them for this. Valjean ignores Fantine begging and pleading to be allowed to stay to provide for her kid but he still sacks her and lets her get thrown out, probably fully aware how a single mother is not going to get hired. And as this happens between Javert being suspicious of him, it almost comes off like Valjean is firing her to make himself look better, which makes it worse.

Then at the end, after having to watch Fantine suffer at rock bottom as gory and harshly depicted as ever, Valjean comes to her aid AT LAST but it doesn’t fit given what he did before or the time that’s passed in between. We don’t really see him have a moment to regret what he did. Maybe if there was a scene of him asking around for Fantine or telling the work mistress off, there would be something. But as it happens just after Javert has told him that he no longer suspects him, it feels like he now just wants to do something good as he doesn’t have to worry about doing a runner. I’m probably reading too much into that, but basically it failed to make up for what had been pointlessly added in. Any other Valjean in that moment wants to help because they feel guilty for not being there to handle the situation and avoid what she’s gone through, but here when Fantine calls him a monster, she is totally on the ball and like her I struggle to see why anyone who would be as cruel to throw a single mother on the street one day would then be willing to care for her the next - at least not with some intense Christmas Carol haunting taking place in between.

Silver lining, it is still only episode two, and hopefully the rest of the series will get better. Hopefully his scenes with Cosette manage to recapture the warmth that the character is better known for having. Liam Neeson still holds the place for my least favourite Valjean (because when the fuck would Valjean slap Cosette, what is wrong with you movie). I’ll also say that other than that awful character moment, the rest of the show has been pretty enjoyable so far. I like that we’re getting to see Babi Marius, who normally doesn’t appear till the second half in most versions. I like old Filch as his grandfather who somehow manages to be a conservative prick but still a caring guardian. And Lily did break my heart quite a bit as Fantine. I kept expecting her to break out into ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ towards the end and it honestly wouldn’t have felt too out of place.

A big rant for probably a small complaint...but 2018 was pretty quiet on the tv front and I haven’t had a good rant in a while. Feels good.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e36

So this will be 10 episodes since the one where we lost Molly. Just throwing that out there.

Also it’s apparently my 9 (NEIN) month anniversary for being subbed to G&S which means it’s also my 9 month anniversary for watching CR and also the show has been going for 9 months as of the 11th so. That’s cool.

I like that jacket, Sam.

Broadway advert lol

“Andrew Loyd Website”

“I could have backed up all night” and “I’ve grown accustomed to her encryption” I’m dead

Okay that was hands down Sam’s best ad he’s so goddamn creative

NEW YORK NEW YORK I’m so excited I loved the last live show

A SLEEVES ARE BULLSHIT SHIRT?!

I need it

Oh wait it doesn’t actually say sleeves are bullshit

I still love the shirt tho and I want one

And the bumper sticker

“It makes it sound bad when you say it like that” guys it WAS bad xD

Poor Caduceus is having an Experience

Cad: “You keep leaving”

Y: “They keep finding me”

Cad: “I think you might have the right idea”

THE FUCK? NO

guys you need to convince Caduceus to sTAY

HE’S ALIVE?!

HE HAS AN AXE IN HIS HEAD

Oh no don’t get Cad he’s sad and tired right now

I mean y’all almost left him behind which was crummy

Caleb really wanted to yank that axe out

Also how does healing work? Like does the guy have permanent brain damage in the are where the axe wrecked now? If it had hit somewhere vital to like, say, memory, would his memory be gone? Enquiring minds want to know.

When Caleb tries to be intimidating it both makes me laugh but also freaks me out a little

I LOVE when Matt has cool props

So does Travis lol

J: “Have you heard of THE Traveler”

Galen: “….Oh no not another one”

Nott and Jester building up Galen like “no no you’re totally special!!!”

“Missed all the major organs” sAM xD

“The Mist…ake” I’m crying

lol promoting this guy to first mate I’m crying

“We got a new pet!”

“Let’s call him Professor Thadeus the second!”

They forgot they had someone tied to the mast too what nerds

They cut up his nice shirt xD

I adore that Travis has totally got the islands and shit memorized so he can be super in-character

Also Cad is being too quiet it’s making me sad

Caleb The Navigator

Captain Fjord

First Mate Galen

Oh oh oh they should have a guest to come aboard and sail with them

Oh noooo they left the magic invisible cart

YES THANK YOU MATT y’all need to talk to Caduceus thank you Matt for pointing out that poor Taliesin has been silent for 30 minutes

Oh no have they somehow fucked over Cad’s mission?

I’m curious about this. Because obviously Taliesin knew this was exactly how the M9 were, so I can’t believe that he would have made Cad to be wholly incompatible with them.

He’s feeling really low and lost I think it’s time for a group hug

Him almost dying really freaked him out (and I think it really freaked Taliesin out too)

I’M HAVING A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW WITH JESTER AND CADUCEUS YOU GUYS

Caduceus is the ship’s cook

Mmm Beau is starting to feel like Caleb is trying too hard to excuse the bad things they do

I think the dock thing was a disaster for sure but I don’t think it was necessarily that they REALLY did anything wrong?

I’m not sure what exactly Beau is feeling bad about? Like freeing the genie wasn’t wrong, the boat thing was a mistake built on bad choice but it wasn’t them being inherently bad, and they didn’t kill Algar, so?

Ah, she’s feeling like she didn’t leave Nicodranus better than she found it

I like this whole “why didn’t we try to talk it out first” thing because it’s nice that two of them are having some moral conflicts. I also like what it says about Fjord and Beau as far as character development.

I mean I don’t think boiling it down to “like we were justified in our actions” really covers what Caleb said. He did say they could have handled things a lot better, but that they did what they had to to survive a situation they could have but didn’t handle better.

“I don’t want to drive you guys away” BEAUUUU my heart

Yasha staring off south “looking for a storm”

Caduceus cooking for the group is literally just my favorite thing. They totally needed a group member who could like make them slow down and eat and just like… take care of themselves, even just for the length of the meal.

Beau went from “I’m sorry for killing these guys” to “fuck those guys they’re dead anyway let’s smear their name”

We should not split up

There’s no way any of this could go wrong

Awwww Caleb showing Nott the stars and planets so sweet

SEE Caleb understands that things went horribly wrong. I honestly think he’s just trying to keep their spirits’ up.

Nott honey you don’t have to be okay with him using suggestion, I understand you both admire and need him but you can be mad at him

“Nott is a one-earther”

Have I mentioned how much I love Caduceus?

Fjord’s just like “please tell me you mean you talk to alive grieving people and not the dead people”

Oh no

They’re coming for them

You should NOT go back

Sam is like “why the fuck are we going back” and I agree so hard

Fjord should not stay on the ship Nott is right

N: “Oh, oh, what other languages do you speak?!”

J: “I speak Infernal”

Everyone cracks up

Oh this is going to be another disaster

Although I guess the guard guys wouldn’t be expecting them to immediately come back?? Maybe??

“YOU’RE THE SAILOR GUY THIS IS YOUR WHOLE EPISODE” lol sam

“I’m gonna bake, fuck it” I LOVE CAD

“I look like Captain Crunch btw” I’m crying can’t breathe omg

Except isn’t the captain dead lol

“Unknown do-gooders” well that wasn’t the reputation I expected

UH HEY I HOPE MARION DIDN’T HEAR ABOUT THE BLUE SKINNED TIEFLING KILLING HERSELF

These lies are getting more and more ridiculous

“The little devil girl who drowned a hundred years ago” Taliesin and the idea of a ghost story is just… so perfect.

Beau stop xD

If this ghost story isn’t in campaign 3 someday I’m gonna cry

I’m so glad that Orli is coming along

They hired the tortle! :D

Nott is really being adorable with the “we are a team and you are important” thing. Obvious, but adorable.

Taliesin wanted ghost stories and now we’re getting islands people avoid because strange ancient unnatural stuff

Okay quick aside but this conversation with Yasha and Caduceus makes me think — I love how there’s this group of people who seemingly should have nothing in common, but in a lot of ways they have things they can understand about each other. Struggles they can related to. It’s really nice.

Jester and her multiple message spells lol

I’ll miss you Marion!

Oooo a glow in the water?

Awww Matt that’s really pretty!

“Sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt you the worst” that’s very profound, Jester.

I’m gonna cry I don’t want Jester to be sad don’t be sad (Laura needs to stop looking like she’s gonna cry because it’s gonna make me cry)

And the way she does this little laugh like she’s trying to brush off how sad she is like STOP IT IM EMOTIONAL.

Marion was gonna leave with Jester’s dad but then he didn’t come back and I’m thinking at some point they had better kick the Gentleman’s ass for abandoning her

The way Fjord is so sweet and soft with Jester is so cute I can’t decide if I ship them or if I just want them to be soft and close but not romantic I think I’d be happy either way but my god Fjord’s being so gentle with her is killing me

“There are vegetarian options as well”

Marius: “Thank you, thank you, it’s very good—they’re crazy aren’t they?”

Cad: “Oh yeah, they’re completely crazy.”

I desperately hope they get attacked by a sea monster at some point

“Captain Tusktooth”

Tiny elf-owl Frumpkin omg

He’s loaning her tiny owl Frumpkin for a week I cry

M: “I poke him to see if he bites me”

Tr: “He’s dead”

“I’m gonna probably start talking to fish at some point in the near future” Caduceus Doolittle

When Nott is sincere like when she’s talking to Caduceus right now is so sweet

I take it back it’s too soon to talk about Molly Sam

“Between you and me, Jester’s a really bad cleric, so…” and Laura almost spits out her drink lol

I want to meet the rest of the Clays someday I hope some of them are still alive

“A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter” Nott is getting me in my feelings tonight

Matt: “You get the sense that the fish would be happy to”

Cad/Tal: “I’m a lunatic aren’t I?”

M: “Yeah.”

C/T: “I’m sorry.”

M: “Yeah, no, it’s great! :D”

The fish: “sure, sure, suresuresuresure sure”

Oh godddd sky monster?

Bird?

WHAT IS IT

“Professor Thadeus…?”

Oh. Fuck. Creepy flying humanoid thing.

lol Beau making sure it’s not Yasha

Oh jeez poor Yasha

…Okay Matt that wasn’t cool because it’s past midnight and the windows are open and I’m feeling weirdly paranoid now

HERE WE GO

Harpies omggggg

Caleb’s really not gonna be able to use fire for this without risking the ship

Oh fuck don’t get the deck hands

Okay the sail isn’t that big a deal Jester can probably mend it, so save the deck hand first

Harpies are not sirens that shouldn’t be allowed to do anything

Oh poor Nott

SAVE THE CREW PERSON FIRST BEAU

I love Cad’s beetles

“Snack time” Cad you’re so creepy sometimes xD

15pts of beetle damage hell yeah

Okay I take it back Beau might have done the best thing saving the sail.

Okay this is too easy of a fight tho what’s coming that’s worse

Oh daaaaamn snapped her neck with the sail rope

Caleb Nott this isn’t nice xD

“We saved his life with the power of friendship” I’m crying

F: “How do we prevent further heart episodes?”

N: “MORE FRIENDSHP. MORE FRIENDSHIP.”

Awkward friend hugs are best hugs

Nott please don’t eat harpy meat

Cad’s gonna compost the harpy

Beau is keeping Frumpkin in her pocket of course she is

Poor Travis just like “I DIDN’T KNOW ID ACTUALLY HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO CAPTAIN A SHIP” poor guy

Oh god the ship is gonna sink

They’re gonna end up stranded on the cursed island just watch

Gonna try and block the hole…. with a mattress

I’m shocked they managed to patch it bless Galen for that Nat20

Caleb being clever to save the ship with his magic bubble

I hope they don’t get Orli killed

They gonna get sunk

Oh wait

Does Caleb have to stay inside the bubble?? I hope it doesn’t start to fill too much

YAAAAAS what a good episode!

SO MUCH SAILING PIRATE-Y FUN

Oh please wear pirate outfits I’m begging

I’m so excited for next week

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

Blood Communion - Comments Chapter by Chapter

     Long post/rant and detailed spoilers bellow the read more cut. So many, many spoilers. Read at your own discretion.

Chapters One to Six:

Starting from the beggining then, Chapter One:  

   The book starts with the strongest taste of deja vu. I mean:

     Not exactly subtle in the nostalgia, eh? It’s amusing, even if does feel like trying a bit too hard.

      It’s the very first chapter, mostly introduction and all that. If you ever read VC books you know how it goes, doesn’t differ too much. 

     HOWEVER - there is something I quite liked on this. The books adress one of my main pet peeves with the two latest books. Why the hell does Lestat acceped this Prince title?

      At least during PLROA he showed great disinterest in being a Prince, and I’m happy to see this adressed here

     Lestat was always was a rebel character (even if the later VC books are touch and go about the whole thing), and it leaves me a real bad  taste on my mouth to see a rebel character in such a traditional position of power, so it does make me happy to see Lestat so openly admit he dislikes the whole thing

     I mean I do think the whole thing will end with him ~accepting~ his role or some bullshit but at least is somethingl, lmao

    Oh one last thing about this chapter

     Christ, Marius. It seems someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin that night, eh

Chapter 2

     Pretty short chapter. Mostly about the destruction of a few vampires who were making a ruckus, but a few interesting bits.

   The group of vampires Lestat kills had done some things like making a hell of the life of a vampire called Dmitri Fontayne. They also destroyed one of Louis’ favorite Impressionist paintings. The audacity!

    Lestat kills them, but takes no pleasure in the kills. Also this happens

      HELL YEAH, please give me some complexity, i’m begging you

       Other good bits:

     The whole court of vampires bullshit seemed to me that it had been done only because was the carrier of the Sacred Core, and now i guess i have my answer uh

     This is so predictable that it’s kind of funny. And sad. Like of course Lestat would want this level of attention and to feel needed and loved like... of course.

      The chapter closes with Lestat going to a visit in the old Royale home he shared with Louis and Claudia. It’s bittersweet but I always like that Lestat never seems to be able to let go of this place and always visits or something. His time with Claudia and Louis is the most defining moment of him as a character, after all. 

Chapter 3

      Lestat goes and meet the Dmitri Fontayne dude, who lives in Louisiana. He was made a vampire by Pandora and loves her, and wants to go to the vampire court but it's afraid because Arjun (Pandora's lover if you don't remember him) is there and he hates his guts and wants to kill him. Lestat assures him he'll do his best to help Fontayne go to the court.

     Fontayne dude had a human under his protection that he wanted to make give the dark gift, but the vampires killed in the last chapter had killed this human woman to spite him. He says to Lestat he intended to ask to permission before transforming the woman in a vampire and Lestat is deeply troubled by the idea of setting standarts about such things.

      ‘I knew that the council was considering this very thing’ and they wanted Lestat to do this??? the dude who once turned a five year old in a vampire?? are you for real. Are you.

      The chapter ends in a ~shocking~ twist

       Uh-oh.

Chapter Four

       Quite a boring chapter, mostly Lestat babbling about all the reformations and stuff he did in his old castle. Introduction of a new vampire called Barbara who apparently is the head of the vampire staff (!) who manages the castle.

       As I said, the Lestat/Louis/Claudia family is the most outstanding moment of Lestat as a character. I don’t think he’ll ever fully escape it.

Chapter Five

      I deeply enjoy Louis being a lil bit of a rebel and just /not/ doing it, lmao

      No Loustat kisses :( just this thing here which is something i guess

      Louis tells Lestat about what happened. Apparently Arjun wanted to force Pandora to go with him somewhere and Pandora did not want to. Marius fought with him, Arjun tried to burn Marius, Marius tried to burn Arjun back and since he's older and stronger, Arjun died.

        Are-are you for real, Anne? “She had become the very personification of the conflicted, passive, suffering woman, utterly incapable of defending herself” “They’ve become like two wives to Marius”, like - fuck you for making me read this paragraph with my own two years

       Lestat asks if Louis saw the whole thing. Louis did not.

        Louis missed the two elder vampires trying to kill each other cos he was trying to read... very relatable, i have to say

       The chapter is basically the council of vampires judging Marius - or better, Marius judging himself. Every other vampire agrees it was self defense, but he wants some punishment for himself. They do not grant him that and he is forgiven.

       Like don't get me wrong I still hate Marius and would love for the guy to get fucked, but for what it was described... it really seems like self defense lol

      Kapetria and Amel, the... aliens/birdlike aliens/Atlantis children of the last book (sigh) were there as well. They have a request for Lestat: he has to give the order to kill Rhoshamandes.

      Sigh. I’m sick of this guy, but at least it took some time before his name appeared on this book.

Chapter 6

       Lestat is Not Happy that they are once again discussing the idea of killing Rhoshamandes, cos he’s the only one who wants to leave the guy alive

        Well, lmao, it’s seems Lestat ain’t fucking around

        Apparently Rhoshamandes has been creeping around the birdlike aliens and making threats, and the other vampires just want him to kill the dude

        Even David is like, just fucking kill him, Lestat, please

        Lestat hears everyone out, but still:

          Like this is a stupid decision and i'm pretty sure it'll come back to bite Lestat in the ass, but I deeply enjoy seeing Lestat being so contrary with all the other vampires like, this is legit what you get when you make someone like Lestat you leader. You all brought this onto yourselves.

        The chapter closes with a brief talk with Pandora, who is happy with the idea of seeing again the Fontayne dude, and Lestat travels back to fetch him.

         That's all for now! But I will post more as i read.

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.5.9 “Madame Victurnien’s Victory”

This is simply a translation thing, since Hapgood translates it as “success,” but I think the title containing the word “victory” is interesting because it really implies that Mme Victurnien got something out of what she did to Fantine, that she “won” against Fantine. What she got was a sense of sated curiosity, a curiosity whose satisfaction ruined another human being.

Hugo starts the chapter off saying that Victurnien’s actions did some good, only he then reveals that Valjean never entered the workshop and explains that the overseer was only charitable from a certain angle. How is this good? Valjean, who is described as “even the best men,” is trusting that this woman’s morals are in line with his own simply from word of mouth, rather than checking in. He never sets foot in the workshop and has given her full power. Again, no wonder people are turning to sex work as a side hustle. How many other women has this happened to? And the overseer thinks she’s doing some good!

The overseer is “full of the charity that consists of giving, though to some extent lacking in the charity that consists of understanding and pardoning.” But isn’t this the entirety of Madeleine’s system and philosophy? He helps people by giving them money. He tosses money at them but doesn’t want to see the aftermath and doesn’t want to be the one doing the face-to-face benevolence. He can’t handle being responsible for problems that a little bit of money can’t fix. The only time he seems to do things face-to-face with others is when they specifically come to him (like as a judge or a settler of conflict); he doesn’t ever go to them. The overseer is full of the “charity that consists of giving” because that’s what Valjean’s rules teach. They don’t have space for sitting down and trying to understand. The morality of these rules don’t allow for that. If the only rule to work in this factory is to be an “honest woman,” how do you confront a structure that creates this desire to seek out and banish immorality rather than examine itself and its components for prejudices and then find ways to assist these women who clearly have little to no support?

I’m wondering too if Valjean’s rule fostered this rumor mill. Having a strict code of morality is a great way to foster ill will if people are more nosey or malicious or less mutual aid-minded than others. Especially in a factory where people are paid by their output. If someone is better than you at the job you share, it makes sense to start a rumor about them to get them kicked out so you become the one who gets their pay. This isn’t quite what happens to Fantine, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened to other women. In terms of Fantine and Victurnien, again this strict moral code is a breeding ground for the gossips and rubberneckers that Hugo described last chapter.

Valjean’s system just frustrates me so much. Again, putting so much power in the hands of a person without checking if they’re trustworthy or not, without having a system of “is this person treating my workers right” is just so....careless? That’s not exactly the word I’m looking for but it’s just like Valjean puts this morally strict system in place and expects it to just solve all problems. He’s busy helping other people solve conflicts and things and doesn’t seem to realize that these rules he’s put in place are going to create problems as well. Not to mention that everyone’s ideas of ethics or morals are going to be different. Would Valjean have condemned Fantine if he’d heard her story? We don’t know. But this overseer’s idea of the right thing to do and the right action to take may well be very different from Valjean’s intention upon setting these rules. Which creates circumstances like this.

Am I reading something wrong, or did the overseer not take record that she had given Fantine the 50 francs? I read “of which she rendered no account” as the overseer not bothering to write down the fact that she gave Fantine 50 francs from the money for donation and aid to workers. Is that right? If this is true than it would also give even more reason for Valjean to have no idea: if he doesn’t set foot in the women’s workshop but does look at the expenses, this wouldn’t have shown up either.

The landlord telling Fantine “you’re young and pretty” is a foreshadowing of the next couple chapters, but I also think it’s interesting that the landlord seems to insinuate that she could be a sex worker. Again, this is a garrisoned town. Sex work must be an open secret here, something Valjean maybe refuses to see.

I love Marguerite so much. I think this might be the first and only time Fantine has a friend who actually cares about her. It makes sense that Fantine would have a much older woman as her friend. Hugo says she’s wise, and I think that her sort of quiet wisdom would resonate more with someone much older than with grisettes her own age. Plus an older person might be much more patient with her when teaching her these new ways of living and maybe guiding her through actually noticing these social cues for the first time. Marguerite is kind of like Fantine’s Myriel; she is a pious and religious old woman who takes Fantine under her wing to learn how to live and survive. Only, rather than taking Fantine’s soul for god or anything, she’s giving Fantine a friend, which seems to be something she’s never had before. This is the first time we see Fantine talking to someone else as an equal.

Hugo mentions that Marguerite taught Fantine how to give up an expensive bird. It’s odd to me that this bird is never mentioned. When did she get a bird? If it was with her in Paris why did she not sell it to move to M-sur-M? However, I 100% understand owning a pet even when you barely make any money to buy yourself food. Pets make you feel better about yourself because you’re caring for and getting love from another creature. Fantine has now had to give up Cosette and her bird, both two small things she’s able to give her love to.

Fantine’s backstory is so odd. How did she not know how to “live poor” already? She was an orphan, and as we see later, orphans in the Brick (taken in or otherwise) are generally treated poorly and are exceedingly impoverished. How had she never lived in enough poverty to learn how to reuse things and give things up? This is clearly the most poor she’s ever been, and even Feuilly makes a good deal more than her later on, but it seems strange that even as a young child or teenager she didn’t live in similar poverty, if she was an orphan with no other monetary support besides her own work.

Fantine mentions that she only sleeps five hours a night. We don’t get a lot of mention of characters sleeping. A little here and there, but the Thenardiers don’t seem to sleep, like, at all when they’re in Paris. This is a kind of subtle aspect of it, but being this poor is crazy hard to get out of because it requires so much work. Fantine makes like 9 sous (I think?) making shirts. She’s taking up just under 19 hours of her day sewing, which I would imagine might produce maybe 3 shirts? Depending on whether she’s doing the entire thing from scratch or using patterns or taking someone else’s already fitted and cut out pieces and stitching them together. Either way, sewing takes quite a while, and if she’s taking 19 hours of her day doing that, she has no time to do things like look for a better job. And she’s also still in debt, so she can’t move somewhere with more opportunities, either. The Thenardiers barely sleep because they’re constantly trying to come up with ways to get money as well. Marius seems to barely sleep; he spends his time translating. Sleep is so rare in this book, it’s kind of a surprise when it’s mentioned.

“When one is sad, one eats less. Sufferings, troubles, a little bread on the one hand, a little anxiety on the other--all that will keep me alive.” More of Hugo’s weird thing about suffering. Even more than an ableism kink, he’s got this whole suffering = good thing going on. This is from 3.5.1, about Marius, but I think it summarizes Hugo’s opinion well: “Firm and rare natures are thus created; misery, almost always a step-mother, is sometimes a mother; destitution gives birth to might of soul and spirit; distress is the nurse of pride; unhappiness is a good milk for the magnanimous.” (Hapgood translation as I’m too lazy to transcribe from FMA.) Reaction to suffering is Hugo’s gauge for a character’s goodness.

Also, this line about bread reminds me of Eponine’s line about not eating for three days, only Eponine admits to the misery of not eating, while Fantine tries to keep things light and optimistic. Again, we have Fantine seeing things through a sort of rose-colored lens. This time I don’t think it helps much, but it’s also not concealing danger from her either. It’s just that Eponine has lived so long in poverty that hunger is just an aspect of her life, and misery is something she seems to have simply accepted, while this is still vaguely new to Fantine and she’s trying to figure out how to deal with it.

“In this distress, to have had her little daughter with her would have been a strange happiness.” Mostly I just want to hang on to this quote because it parallels the later line talking about Baron Pontmercy wishing to have young Marius with him. I made a post before about the parallels between Fantine and Pontmercy, and somehow I didn’t catch this one, but here it is.

Everything in this book is about money, about how to pay. Everything in life is about money. It puts Valjean in an expressly unique position as someone who has a frankly ridiculous amount of money compared to pretty much every other character. But everyone except Valjean and Cosette are so highly aware of money, of how much everything costs, and what it takes to pay for something. And really the thing about poverty is that “cost” isn’t just francs, it’s also time and labor and emotion. If Fantine had just the tiniest bit more money, she could send for Cosette, but would Cosette then end up like the child of Valjean’s sister, sitting out in the cold in the early morning after Fantine went to work but before the schools had opened? Sewing shirts takes time; that’s either less time to be with Cosette and nurture Cosette or less time making shirts which is less money. Making enough money to live means sacrificing so much.

Only now does Fantine seem to be aware of social cues, which now have turned into paranoia (though she’s probably at least a little right). Since the beginning, she hasn’t noticed when people are laughing at her or whispering about her or making fun of her to her face. Even when Tholomyes left, I doubt she noticed because all of the grisettes were abandoned at the same time; I don’t think she would have realized that for everyone else it was a little bit different. But now all those whispers and mocking and social cues have been thrown in her face, and now she’s seeing them everywhere. It sounds like paranoia, but I think she’s right, and Hugo basically says so about a sentence later.

“She came and went, head high and with a bitter smile, and felt that she was becoming shameless.” This is another reason why I Dreamed A Dream in English frustrates me so much. The French version at least touches on Fantine’s anger, on the ways she has begun to harden. The English version really does not do that at all. It is interesting that she longs for the anonymity of Paris, and in the end seems to decide to treat M-sur-M as though it was Paris, and go out brazenly anyway.

Mme Victurnien and Tholomyes are at opposite ends of the self-centered individual. Tholomyes fucked Fantine over but didn’t care or think much of it, because once he’d satisfied the amusement he got out of his affair with Fantine, he simply dropped her and probably never thought of her or Cosette ever again. Victurnien, on the other hand, turns Fantine into a weird sort of obsession. Instead of not caring about ruining Fantine’s life, that becomes a kind of pleasure for her. A “dark happiness,” as Hugo calls it. It’s a sort of sadistic schadenfreude. Tholomyes didn’t spend anything to abandon Fantine, he simply left to go back to the country. Victurnien spent money to destroy Fantine’s life. Both are so terrible because one is so deliberately careless and the other is so heartlessly deliberate.

A last thought which is just kind of a throwaway thing, but since gaining the “Fantine as autistic” headcanon from whoever it was that came up with it, I’ve been imagining Fantine’s love of brushing and braiding her hair as a form of self-soothing. I haven’t had long hair in over 15 years but I remember when I did, brushing it or having someone else brush it always felt really nice. Fantine’s hair is so beautiful (later on Hugo says it falls to her knees which is !!!!) and I wonder if part of that is because of how often she uses brushing it to self-sooth when things are terrible.

[auberginejeans]

3 fandoms

was tagged by @meimagino and @trans-boy-yuri (:

RULES: choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

Choosing just these three was so hard but I obsess over all of them. Also I’m sorry this got so long omg.

I choose:

Yuri On Ice- honestly how could I not

The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice- just for Armand lol

Hannibal- this show blew my mind

The first character you loved:

YURI PLISETSKY wins. Idk I seem to like angsty blonde fashionable russian teenage anime boys *cough*mihael keehl*cough*

ARMAND. I think “he can be yuor angle or yuor devil” describes him perfectly. Also if they don’t get him his own blender scene in the show I’ll start a protest

HANNIBAL. I’ve even asking myself for a really really reaaallllly long time: Hannibal Lecter or Will Graham? And I swear I cannot fucking choose. But in the end I think I got to go with Hannibal.

The character you relate to the most:

YURI PLISETSKY. I’m not just saying this because I love him but he is pretty introverted and struggles with expressing his feelings to others and opening up (except for a special few). I’m also a huge cat person, makes weird curse combinations, love his edgy fashion, work really hard, am a perfectionist, and am very competitive.

LOUIS DE POINTE DU LAC. I told myself I wouldn’t say Armand again lol. Louis may not be my favorite but I will admit (wow this is gonna get deep) that I’m also introverted, have problems when it comes to depression, anixety, and that kind of thing, sometimes allow people to walk over me (sorry Louis but lbr here). While I may not be religious, I appreciate beauty, nature, am a huge book lover!! And lastly I care about the people closest to me very deeply and if you hurt them I’ll murder you (FIRE ahahah). Also when I think about it I’m a bit like Daniel Molloy in that I’m such a pop culture obsessed nerd and love the 80s/90s (I think Daniel is the lens in which Armand is able to view and explore these decades), am really interested in journalism, and am kinda self-destructive sometimes lol oops. I also forgot about Nicholas this is getting long but him too!

WILL GRAHAM. My child. I love him so much and just want to protect him from all evil lol. Will is pretty fucked up in that he has problems... I swear to god I don’t kill people or think about killing people jesus help me but he has a very tortured mind (which I think was always present just made even worse because of Hannibal/the encephalitis), though I’m definitely not as nearly as bad as him so that’s good. He doesn’t open up to people either but I think when he does he forms really strong relationships with them. And he loves his family. AND HIS DOGS!!! I also end up doing things I know I shouldn’t be doing but I can’t help it lol. Also I’m super interested in forensic science as well as criminal psychology or a mix of any of those... I think it would be cool to pursue and that’s something I have the skills for.

The character you’d slap:

I’d slap JJ cause it would be really satisfying and I’m so conflicted over the canon version of him. 

Wow.... one thing about Anne Rice’s characters is literally every single one of them is flawed. I’d have to slap Lestat to give him a wake up call because sometime he really needs it. I’d bitch slap Claudia too I’m sorry. Honorable mentions: Marius, the Marquis, Akasha

Dude I would slap Hannibal that would also be so worth it though he would probably eat me. Also Freddie Lounds and Jack Crawford (FOR DAMAGING MY CHILD)

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):

Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin, Victor Nikiforov

Armand, Daniel, Gabrielle (after Armand and Daniel the rest are all kinda tied)

Hannibal, Will Graham, Margot Verger  

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

Probably Victor? I love him but then my life was taken over by Otayuri.... and..... I don’t really care for Victuuri

Probably Lestat, he’s obviously the center of the main book but TVL and QOTD introduced so many great new characters/gave more character depth to people like Armand.

I don’t think I really have one.

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

JJ... It’s all tumblr’s fault. And that’s all I need to say.

I hated Armand with a passion for being such a bitch in TVL! Hah! I think I was really on the fence on whether I loved him or hated him. And I love him now. 

Alana. God she annoyed me so much but when she finally left Hannibal and got with Margot I was like YES, KILL THEM ALL, HAVE A SON, BE HAPPY, FEED HIM TO THE EELS (that scene was great omg) Also I hated Hannibal with a PASSION for getting away with all of his shit and hurting Will but I think I just eventually said “fuck it” and caved in.

3 OTPs:

Just this whole Yuri, Otabek, JJ triangle on tumblr that I have no life anymore because of omg. But Otayuri, Pliroy, and Otapliroy. Also don’t totally ship JJbek 100% right now but I’ll probably get there eventually.

This fandom is too old for ship names (@monstersinthecosmos) lol but Armand x Daniel, Armand x Lestat (so bad yet so good), and Lestat x Nicki (human days). I like Lestat x Louis but I do have some problems with it.

Hannigram duh. Everyone else is expendable. Alana x Margot (forgot their ship name) and Murder Family (I’m so sorry forgive me lord for I have sinned)

Tagging @monstersinthecosmos, @ashtonelis, @mortallymagicalobject, @mizzmello, and @babypeche!

[sovinly]

For your most recent meme, one of my most favorite stories you've written. So, First Dates and Other Dangers for Enjolras and Eponine?

I am very fond of that one, so I’m delighted that you are too!

See, I think, for Enjolras and Éponine, the whole “date” thing would come out of... not wanting to prove a point, exactly, but to settle something for themselves. It’s an Enjolras who quietly wonders if, perhaps, he is missing something in his intense political focus or if he’s right about his impression that dating people isn’t really his speed. And it’s an Éponine who wants to prove to herself than she’s more than her bundle of conflicted feelings about Marius and her family and everything that says she’s unworthy and undesirable.

I am not entirely sure who’s fault this is - possibly Cosette’s, whose method of kindness is not necessarily reassuring people that they’re fine the way they are, but letting them realize it for themselves and with one another.

Anyway.

This date starts off terribly. Enjolras is stiff and awkward and practically screaming “Does Not Want to Be Here.” Éponineis wary and angry and fed the fuck up with the world (and very quietly insecure). Their small talk is stilted, and their positionality in the world gapes between them. It is so painful and they are both just, like, cringing, and agree that this is terrible and they should just Get Through Dinner.

But. They both have so much anger and so many feelings about all of this bullshit in the world. Éponine isn’t so much scathing as blunt, because if she’s blithe, it doesn’t hurt as much to spit in his face how broken she is, but Enjolras is... quiet. He listens, he nods, he occasionally interjects, but only to confirm her points or agree.

They are so angry, at the way the system has failed Éponineand people like her and everyone. Éponineis angry about her father and her sister’s arm, but there’s something witty and charming that flashes underneath the bitter exhaustion, and she eats in bursts between searing condemnation of class and poverty and sexism. Enjolras is angry about all of those things as well, Enjolras cares so much about all the injustices of the world, and he is fierce in his beliefs, but the thing is that he listens - he listens, and hears, and has moments of blazing compassion and hope.

There’s something very validating about agreement, and about caring.

Neither of them like being overly personal while also being strikingly candid at times, and it’s not one of those ten-hour first conversations where you feel like you know someone in your soul, but it’s. Fuck, it’s so validating to feel like a person, to feel like it’s okay to carry this much feeling in their tiny mortal frames.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t think they decide it’s a date again - I don’t think they do, because, well, they’re both pretty skittish, both pretty frustrated with the thought of their emotions and selves being attributed to romantic attraction. But I think the important thing is that they strike a weird chord of friendship and decide to meet up for coffee to yell more about Éponine’s crumbling neighborhood.

Because the whole point is meeting someone who gets it and who clicks with you, about being known and understood, and for two people who’s emotions are so often misattributed and misunderstood and dismissed, I think the important thing, the powerful thing, is unexpected meetings that make the world feel less alien.

[jinlian]

Next season’s themes and resulting program music: Victor and Yuuri edition

Okay, obviously next season’s programs are going to use original music for the show, and of course they’re unlikely to be much what I’m going to say here. But using music that we do have available, and born of a mix of personal desires for Victor’s and Yuuri’s character arcs next season, a lot of time listening to music while imagining one of them skating to it, and some joke posts that turned serious, here’s a post about what I’d like to see. I’m including music, long-winded explanations, and ideas for costumes, because I enjoy indulging in YOI a little too much maybe.

We’ll start with saying that Yuuri’s going with the theme of triumph and Victor, to what should be no one’s surprise, life and love.

Yuuri Katsuki: Triumph.

This is only natural, considering where we left the end of season one. He already knows that he’s surrounded by love - he said as much in episode 4 and announced it on national television in episode 5. What he needs now is confidence in himself, confidence in his ability, and, yes, that winning gold medal. “Triumph” isn’t just going to represent his determination to win (which it will, and which is important! He won’t just be admitting to himself that he wants to win, he’ll be telling the world he’s out for blood); it’s also going to be a triumph of the self, when Yuuri acknowledges all that he’s capable of achieving and sees that within himself.

Short Program: a cut of Game of Thrones.

This started as a total joke, but hear me out. Yuuri needs to be entering this season knowing what he wants and ready to take it. The other competitors need to know he’s coming for them. I want him to know that he’s coming for them. I want him hungry. I want him to be open with everyone, including himself, about how much he wants it. Because Yuuri Katsuki is a force to be feared.

So enter Game of Thrones: when you play the game of figure skating, you either win or you die. He’s got knife shoes and he’s not afraid to use them.

The primary theme of his monologues during the short program would be about his desire to win in competition specifically, but this would absolutely include the underlying purpose of having him believe in himself and how much he wants it. To get in the right mindset for his performance capability, Yuuri needs to want to slay and know that he can slay. He can. He has a world record. He’s engaged to living legend Victor Nikiforov and he’s going to beat him, too. No mercy, he’s not fucking around!! Fear him.

Costume thoughts: All I know is that I want Yuuri in a crown. It’ll probably have to be a thin gold circlet to make sure that thing stays steady on his head through jumps and doesn’t slip or get too heavy - tbh it’d probably just be an elastic band full of glitter and sparkles and pinned to his head, it just looks gold - but still. I want him in a crown. The rest of his costume should evoke the image of dragons. It doesn’t need wings, maybe patterns and cut-outs on his back and the sleeves extended into gloves, but a nice dark red and black would be lovely. 

Free Program: Les Miserables, On My Own/Who Am I.

This program opens to triumph and command, drifts into love and longing, and finally ends to a theme of self-assertion and the blaring trumpets of confidence. Musically it’s good. And thematically, we get back to triumph in Yuuri’s life overall.

“On My Own” is about desperate, unrequited love, and considering Yuuri’s feelings of anxiety towards his own relationship and upcoming marriage - even if I’m sure he knows deep down that he’s secure in Victor’s love, he also still feels that anxiety, because there’s no cure for anxiety. But as it transitions back into “Who Am I,” as Jean Valjean proclaims who he is and that he has no shame in it?? That gives room for Yuuri’s own self-assertion, assurance in himself and everything in his past, all the answers that he’s found. He’s Katsuki Yuuri, world record-holder, engaged man, who loves his fiancé, loves figure skating, and he has every right to be proud of himself and to wish for his own success and know it.

More subtly, it’s Yuuri’s triumph over the self. Where his short program is more obviously triumph in the sport, Yuuri’s is triumph over anxiety and self-doubt and he’s come for what he deserves.

Costume thoughts: This one can be much simpler and rather more traditional, modeled after the costumes in the musical on which it’s based. He could go for a look reminiscent of Marius or just the general French Revolution aesthetic. Another option would be to pay tribute to Yuna Kim, who was lovely when she skated this program in this outfit, and make a modified male version of it.

Victor Nikiforov: Life and Love.

This is pretty self-explanatory. He’s rediscovered these. It’s going to bring a whole new dimension to his experience on the ice and to his performances. Let him just live it up skating tributes to his fiancé and the new joy he has in life.

Also I’ve changed my mind on these SO MANY TIMES because ngl it is really fucking hard to think of music that already exists for Victor Nikiforov

 Somebody to Love by Queen. 

He’d just be so fucking cheeky and I’d love every minute of watching him just have fun. Plus it seems like it would be a different kind of program than what he usually does, which I would honestly really like to see. Think about him just skating this whole thing directly for Yuuri??? Winking and grinning and ring-lens-flaring and just having the time of his life??? Presentation score off the goddamn CHARTS

Because look, I’m not convinced Victor’s returning to figure skating because he just looooves competing so much. But I am also convinced that he’s perfectly capable of just enjoying himself for the first time in years. And this would be the height of that. This would show off his renewed joy, his energy, his love for his fiancé and his love for the sport that brought them together. The most important thing is that it would be fun, and it would get both “life” and “love” thematically into his program. Let Victor skate to Queen

Costume ideas: Rock and roll. Flamboyant. Glitter and sparkles fucking everywhere. Some gay plunging cleavage. Let’s fuckin go.

Free Program: Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty Waltz.

OR:  O Mio Babbino Caro, from Gianni Shicchi (or with lyrics). 

I struggled a lot with his free program, because nothing really fit quite right for me. It either fell flat thematically, or I just couldn’t see Victor skating to it. Or the music was never just quite.... right. I was also trying to imagine Victor having a consistent skating monologue through them, and how it would sound/fit in if he and Yuuri get into an inevitable Conflict.

The Sleeping Beauty Waltz is musically a pretty good piece, even though I find that motif a little too repetitive. He would totally intend to be about himself and how he’s the Sleeping Beauty woken by his Prince Yuuri out of the dreamless sleep of years into a new happy life, but we all know why his skating to a piece titled anything to do with Sleeping Beauty would be hilarious. Also, he could definitely work with Yuuri on adding in a lot of balletic elements and we could have a romantic dance scene in a studio at sunset 👀

As for O Mio Babbino Caro: this piece is just gorgeous. Flowing. Loving. It sings. Just imagining Victor skating to it in any context gives me chills.

But the lyrics? The singer is appealing to her father to help her be with her lover. “O my papa, I love him. He’s handsome. I want to go to Porta Rossa to buy a ring! I want to go there! And if my love is in vain I will THROW MYSELF INTO THE ARNO RIVER” she wants to be with him so badly. I mean this is basically Victor @ Yakov going “*Little Mermaid voice* But Daddy I LOVE him” and honestly? The emotion he could bring to it remembering just how goddamn much he loves Yuuri and wants to be married to Yuuri gets me going. Hell yeah he wants to go buy another goddamn ring.

Costume ideas: For the Waltz, something like this or this. It’s got that hint at ballet, but there’s still an element of fantasy and whimsy. Light colors, definitely gold trim, definitely want that white and gold at his calves.

For O Mio Babbino Caro, the color scheme would be the same, but it would be a lot more flowing and sheer. More like the second costume I linked, definitely.

[kattloaf]

Beginnings (Epilogue)

Slowly, and with a great deal of grogginess, consciousness returned to Kat. 

Inventory.

Mm.. everything -should- be hurting, but isn’t. No missing limbs I can tell.

We’re sedated. 

Mmf. Thinking’s hard….

Inhaling deeply, to a twinge of muted pain, Kat opened her eyes. She was… indoors. In the blue room. The one she’d been given before the party. Which meant she was back inside the estate. Blinking groggily, she lifted her head to look around. The room nearly spun with the exertion, likely a consequence of  the drugs. From the corner of her eye she saw a figure exit the room, the closing of a door confirming it. She got a brief glimpse of the figure: Shaggy, dark hair and a weathered coat.

Well, look who sold us out.

Working on why he’s here.

Pretty obvious answer.

Drugs.... Good drugs. Opioids?

It wasn’t long before the figure in question, which was indeed Marius, returned. Accompanying him was Kamila, now clad in a periwinkle blouse and a pair of trousers. She carried about her a much more professional air than she had during the party. In the time Marius had been gone, Kat had managed to climb into a sitting position, made all the more difficult by her left arm being in a sling. Still woozy from the drugs, she smiled in what she hoped was a polite manner. “Fancy seeing you again.”

Kamila simply seated herself in one of the red chairs the room bore, her hands folded in her lap. Marius, for his part, had taken up station by the door. Kat shot him a questioning look, but had her attention drawn by Kamila breaking the silence that had fallen. 

“I’m going to ask you some questions. I should like you to answer them honestly.” Judging by the expression, or lack thereof, that Kamila bore, it seemed she was being serious. 

Unphased, Kat gesticulated widely with her right, and as she just then realized, bandage-wrapped arm. “Where’s my vials? I need the… pale yellow one.” It was trouble enough to remember which color vial her panacea was, much less the answers to whatever questions Kamila had. 

“Why do you nee-”

Kat surprised even herself by responding abruptly. “So I can think. I’m all… drugged up. Can’t think straight.” She flopped her arm down on the covers of the bed, which hurt. 

Kamila’s lips turned down at the corners in a subtle frown. “They’re painkillers. You will be in a great deal of pain if you negate them.” Perhaps it was the drugs, but the woman seemed genuinely concerned.

Kat tried to shake her head, but the wave of nausea that induced put a kibosh on it quickly. “I can… handle it. Can’t answer your questions if I’m….” She moved to wave her arm, but only succeeded in flopping her wrist lazily, “loopy.”

Kamila turned to look at Marius, nodding. The man shifted, fishing into a pocket and, after sorting through the various colors present, strode over to hand the vial to Kat. Quietly, he whispered in his usual gruff tone. “You sure about this, kit?”

Kat narrowed her eyes at the comment, taking the vial and downing it as her answer. By her own design, it didn’t take long for the panacea to take effect. First to depart was the haze in her mind, burning away like the morning fog. Next to depart was the anesthetic effects of the drugs. The numbness didn’t leave slowly. No, that would be too gentle. It simply vanished, pain crashing down on her like a tsunami. In an instant every thought she had was utterly obliterated. Gasping at the sudden deluge of pain, she clutched at the bedsheets, the singular tactile sensation that wasn’t agony acting as a piece of driftwood to cling to. 

I CAN DO THIS.

Are you cer-

I’VE ENDURED WORSE.

If you need help, Four, send some to me. You don’t need to take it all.

Pleasepleasepleaseplease. Stop. Make… make it stop. 

The agony persisted for what felt as though it were an eon, yet was only short enough a time for Marius to turn around and lean in, trying to do...something. And then, it was gone. Like the tide, the crashing wave of agony had drawn out, leaving her, or at least three parts of her, lying in the wet sand. With another exhalation, this one of relief, Kat sagged in her seat. Swallowing down bile-tinged spittle, she nodded. “A-alright. Ask your questions.” 

Four, are you-

GAAAAAAAH. LEAVE. ME. BE. 

One, not a good idea. Let her handle it.

Focus on the present. We’re down Four, we need to figure out the Frumentarius’ angle.

Marius, who was still hovering over Kat with a concerned expression on his grizzled face, spoke first. “You sure you’re good? You don’t sound good. Look even worse.” He meant well. They’d been through some rough business during the sojourn to Dalmasca they’d shared. Kat had felt she could trust him, though his being here now called that into serious question.

“I’m fine, Marius. Let the Frumentarius ask her questions.” Turning her gaze from Marius to Kamila, she continued. “You are a Frumentarius, correct?”

At that the woman smiled. It was faint, and relieved, but it was there. “Your perceptions have served you well. I served faithfully as such for many years, and while I no longer active in the field-” 

Kat finished the sentiment for her. “You keep your eyes and ears open. I get it.” Sighing and looking over her bandaged arm, the clean linen tidily wound around both her arms up to her shoulder. “So, what is it you want to know? Hope it’s not anything about the Grand Companies. I don’t know a damn thing about that.”

Kamila quickly shook her head in response to the probing retort. “I am completely disinterested in the current state of conflict at this juncture. I suppose the best way to start would be to ask what happened with Vicarius Victus.”

Kat laughed, then winced. Even with Four taking on the pain, it still didn’t feel pleasant. “He was going to fly me off, kill me, probably dump my body in the ocean, then say I tried to escape. Even if he wasn’t lying, I wasn’t about to go with him. Man hates me.” She paused, correcting. “Hated. I assume he’s dead?”

Nodding, Kamila exhaled a sigh. “Very. The entire landing pad his ship occupied was destroyed in the explosion I assume you caused.” She fixed a stern gaze on Kat. “You’ve made quite a mess of things. My… people are patching things up, but you made a very large problem that I am stuck with fixing on your behalf.”

This caught Kat entirely off-guard. Blinking several times, she tried to lean forward, then thought better of it. “I’m sorry, you said you’re fixing this for me? Why?”

“It largely depends on how you answer my questions. May we continue?”

Frowning intently, Kat nodded. “Alright.”

Do we go with honesty?

Don’t see why not, we are quite literally helpless in our current situation. 

We could be dead. She had us taken care of. 

Kamila narrowed her eyes a touch at the frown. “Do you have any immediate family?”

Kat gulped. “No. I… had a brother, but he died when I was young.”

At that Kamila frowned cryptically, but did not stop with her questions. “By what means did you come into your… skills?”

A simple enough question, if very probing. Thankfully, Kat had no remaining goodwill towards her former benefactors and teachers. “I was taken in at a young age by a clandestine group in Radz-at-Han. Their primary interest was to inhibit Garlemald by proxy through various means.” 

Kat was going to stop there, but a thought occurred to her. Cassian had mentioned ledgers pointing towards Kat being involved in the deaths she’d caused. Her stomach twisted as a realization dawned on her. “An organization that, since I have thoroughly disassociated myself with them, has decided to sell me out. Not entirely surprising, all considered.”

Kamila let out a small chuckle at that. “I cannot avow for whom exactly is doing so, but within the intelligence circles of Thavnair you have been… marked as persona non grata. This much I do know. Your assessment is likely accurate.” The woman cleared her throat before continuing, “Now, onto other matters. Why, in your opinion and perception, do you believe you were invited here as a guest of honor?”

Arching one eyebrow, which she had confirmed she still had, Kat took a moment to collect her thoughts into a response. “My assessment of the nature of your invitation had one of two primary motives. Either you wanted me and the possible ‘plus one’ for arcane purposes, or for reasons of heredity. Your very clear choice of wording in the invitation led two to, after ruling out the faults in logic of other avenues, outcomes. So, which is it?”

Kamila simply folded her hands in her lap, studying Kat with an inscrutable mask for a face. After nearly a full minute had passed, she drew in a breath to speak. “Well, I suppose that means I can dispense with the concerns over hostages, blackmail, and extorting cooperation. We did not invite you here for some form of magical… deviance either.” Shifting to cross one leg primly over the other, Kamila tilted her head. “Tell me, what is your… first memory? The very first one you have. Not the one you remember the best, but the first.”

Oooh dear. Three, you have this? 

I do, but… are we certain we want to dredge this up, Two? It’s a fragment at best. Just pieces, really.

Makes me feel scared. Every time. She asked though….

Gulping, Kat nodded, her eyes locking on the sheets as they stared through them, looking in on a fragment of something nearly-forgotten. “I… running. Scared, tired. Arms hurt. Legs hurt. Wrists and ankles. Brother pulling my arm. My legs are so short, his so long.” Kat blinks several times, now thoroughly drawn into the memory. “Says to keep up. We can’t stop. And we can’t. The Bad Men will get us. Now we’re… hiding behind boxes. Dusty alley, near dark. More scared. I… point at someone. A soldier. Brother pulls my arm down. Says, ‘No. The Bad Men were dressed up like soldiers.’ So we hide. I’m crying. I miss… home. My parents.” 

Trailing off, Kat blinked several more times, having to wipe away the tears that had crept up on her. Kamila, sitting across from her, looked… distraught, emotional. She had asked for a reason. A very specific reason. The woman opened her mouth to speak, but a knock came at the door. Starting, Kamila briskly rose from her chair and stepped outside. 

Kat simply watched. She had all the pieces now, as best she could tell. Kamila had ideas about who Kat was. Where she came from. Kat had ideas as well, now. She’d been collecting them for most of her life. The ‘Bad Men’ for example. Perhaps it was a jumbling of memory, but a deep, dusty corner of her knew who they were. They’d trained her, taught her to make illusions, to kill. Tortured her. Broke her down to her essence to watch her mind crack, then shatter. Then, after all that, they picked up the shards and shaped her, molded her into the jagged blade she knew she was. That only left a few conclusions as to who Kamila was. Who Tidus was. 

Before Kat could set those thoughts in stone, however, Kamila returned, looking even less composed than before. The professional mask was in place, certainly, but the cracks in it were many. The lack of color in her face, the death grip she had on the folder she bore in her hand.  Surely she knew on some level she was doing a poor job of maintaining her position of superiority in this conversation, right? 

Either way, the woman moved to her seat, the tension she bore almost palpable to Kat. Lowering herself into the seat, Kamila opened the folder, reading the papers it held. Her voice was, curiously, shaking when she spoke again. “You… said you had a brother. What… what was his name?”

One… 

Yeah? 

Looks like you get that wish. 

Yeah….

“Firrous. After the… memory he said to call him Firrous.”

Kamila looked up at Kat, mostly with her eyes, which were, interestingly, glassy. “And before?”

Kat choked down a ball of emotion that was straining at the walls of her self-discipline. “Faustus. It was Faustus.” 

Kamila’s eyes returned to the open folder in her lap, remaining silent. After a short spell in that state, the woman’s shoulders began to heave, a strangled sob escaping her. With a ‘plop’ that was, to Kat, louder than a cannon, a tear fell down onto that opened folder, likely running the ink it bore. Kamila’s head raised slowly, tears staining her makeup as they ran down her cheeks, leaving trails in their wake. Hoarsely, her voice choked almost entirely with her own efforts to leash her emotions, she croaked out. “Cassia. Your name is Cassia.”

Something inside Kat broke. Something she didn’t even know could break. Something she hadn’t truly realized was even there. Hearing that name had done something to Kat, that she didn’t know could be done. She had no way to cope with it other than to let the rush of emotions that swelled within her loose. She had a family. Parents. The one thing she had learned not to hope for, forced herself not to hope for, it was true. Part of her, likely Three, noted that we had to get evidence. Such stipulations were lost amid the riot of repressed, forgotten emotions Kat was now awash in. 

Forcing herself to retain some tenuous sense of rationality, or at least propriety, Kamila wiped her eyes and looked down at the folder once more, speaking in a tremulous voice.. “When.. Marius brought you back here. We… took a blood sample.Garlean medical science can… compare heredity. We ran yours. It… It matches.” She closed the folder, looking up at Kat again. 

“You’re our Cassia.” 

[kimmyiewrites]

New Beginnings ~ Chpt 10

Silence had befallen the barricade as they all mourned the loss of Eponine. Combeferre still kept watch, making sure that the National Guard didn’t attack them out of surprise. Moments later he noticed two men dressed in soldier’s uniforms with their hands raised walking towards the barricade. “Halt! State your purpose!” He called out.

“We are volunteers! This man is Rosalie’s uncle.” The man answered.

“Combeferre, let them through.” Enjolras said when he heard the interaction.

Rosalie looked over at Enjolras, a shocked expression written over her face before standing to greet her uncle. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to make sure you were safe you silly girl. How could you not tell me you were doing this?” Her uncle replied.

“I knew you would keep me from it. I want to be here. What’s happening isn’t right and momma taught me to fight for what I believe in.” Rosalie answered.

Her uncle sighed. “Of course. How I wish I could change your mind but I know you are too much like your mother that no matter what I say you won’t listen, so I am here to help in any way that I can.”

Rosalie smiled and gave her uncle a hug. “Thank you, uncle.”

“On the roof!” Val Jean’s voice rang out as gunshots filled the air. Soldiers fell to the ground from the rooftops they were trying to sneak over. Rosalie’s uncle turned her around, using himself as a human shield from the bullets.

When the small gun fight finished, Enjolras addressed the two newcomers. “Thank you, both. We all appreciate the extra help. You are an example for the rest of the people of France. Soon they will follow and we will set France free.” He hoped he had sounded his usual self when addressing his friends. That surprise attack had him rethinking him not fighting with Rosalie more to keep her away from the barricade. He wondered if he could talk to her uncle and he could take her away. Enjolras could not think about seeing Rosalie as still as Eponine now was. He never wanted to see the light go out of the blonde’s eyes or never hear her laughter or see her room brightening smile.

He smiled at Rosalie, who was introducing her uncle to the others, and then turned to take his place as look out. Val Jean watched the silent interaction between the leader and the girl. Was this what his Cosette and this Marius would wind up doing? Have silent conversations through just a smile. It was something he wanted for Cosette. He knew that he couldn’t hold onto her for forever. He was glad that his decision to come to the barricade could also help another couple. He just hoped they all survived this rebellion. They were all so young, had their lives ahead of them. He prayed that all of them would survive.

Once Rosalie introduced her uncle to Marius, the older man smiled and clapped his hand onto Marius’ shoulder. “You are the man who wrote to Cossette, yes?”

Marius looked surprised, looking to Rosalie for answers. The girl just shrugged in response. “How do you know Cossette?” Marius finally asked.

“She is staying at my farm until this is all over. She is safe and very much in love with you if I may be so bold.” Rosalie’s uncle replied.

Marius smiled. “Thank you monsieur for letting me know of her safety. Now just to make sure I return to her.”

Rosalie reached out and squeezed his arm. “We’ll make it Marius. You will make it back to your Cossette.”

Enjolras watched the whole scene as it took place. He sighed before looking back out onto the street. What had he done? He was feeling so conflicted. He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy and he was pretty sure all of his friends knew that too. Then why did he feel like he had brought unnecessary pain into the lives of his friends. The people of France weren’t stirring like he had hoped and how he hoped that would change overnight. He hoped that in the morning they would come in waves until the filled the streets and the guards had nothing to do but to retreat. He stood and called out. “Courfeyrac, you take the watch. They may attack before it’s light.”

Courfeyrac stood from where he was sitting with Gavroche and nodded. He climbed up the barricade and sat, ready to call out for help if any soldiers appeared. Grantaire popped the cork off of another wine bottle and took a large gulp before he began to sing a somber drinking song. “Drink with me to days gone by.” He started as he passed the bottle to his right. Soon the entire les amis joined in as they prepared to sleep. They needed their strength for the unknown of tomorrow.

Enjolras woke before everyone else did. He barely fell asleep to begin with. The barricade leader kissed Rosalie’s head before carefully standing up without waking her. He wanted to go check on the other barricades before the soldiers began waking and planning their next attack. What he saw broke his heart. All the other barricades had been torn to shreds as the other groups he had been communicating laid in the streets, their blood staining the bricks. He couldn’t take it anymore. He was defeated. The weight on his shoulders increased by a ton as he walked back to his own barricade. He had brought his friends right to death’s door step. The people of France weren’t going to come to their aid. They were still too afraid.

He returned to his friends by first light. Marius was up checking the gun powder when he saw Enjolras return. “Where have you been?” Marius asked.

“I went to go check on the other barricades. We are the last one standing.” Enjolras informed.

Marius looked down and sighed before returning his gaze to his friend. “The rain ruined the gunpowder as well. We’re really low, maybe a barrell left.”

“May I ask a favor?” Enjolras asked, after taking a moment to speak.

“Of course.”

“Will you convince Rosalie to go to her uncle’s? I can’t bear to even think about how I’m going to possibly watch her die if she stays here. I want her to live a full happy life and not one that’s going to be cut short because I couldn’t create a successful rebellion.”

Marius looked at his friend with empathy, squeezing his shoulder. “I’ll do as much as I can. Rosie, after all, is a stubborn one.”

Enjolras chuckled. “That she is. Thank you, Marius.” And with that small promise, the weight lifted the slightest off his shoulders.

The rest of the barricade began to stir and Enjolras addressed them. “We are the last barricade standing. I suggest that those who have a family to return to them for your safety and for their peace of mind.”

No one moved. They all looked at one another, not really believing what Enjolras was saying. “Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men?” Gavroche’s small voice rang out. Soon the entire barricade was singing along, their spirits lifted.

As everyone else checked on their remaining supplies, Marius came over to where Rosalie was. “Rosalie, may I ask a big favor of you?”

“What is it, Marius?” She looked up at him, curiosity written all over her face.

“Will you go see Cossette? Tell her that I will return to her shortly. That this will all be over soon? And of course tell her that I love her and think of her every waking moment.” Marius requested, praying that she would say yes.

Rosalie squinted her eyes as she looked him over but then relented. He really was in love and who was she to keep him from updating his lover about his safety or to keep peace of mind away from Cossette? “Alright, I’ll go. But I’m coming right back. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Marius smiled. “Thank you, Rosalie.”

The two hugged. When they pulled back, Rosalie smiled and went over to where Enjolras was. She tapped his shoulder, causing him to turn around. “Marius is sending me on an errand. I just wanted to let you know before I left.” Rosalie said with a small smile.

Enjolras placed a kiss on her forehead, not wanting to do anything her uncle might disapprove of. “Stay safe. I’ll see you soon.”

Rosalie reached up and kissed his cheek. “You as well.” And with that she began her journey to her uncle’s farm outside of the city.