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martinnecas · 5 years ago

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Quick Guide | Carolina Hurricanes: Meet The Team - Opening Night 2019-20

New season means a new quick guide to the roster

2018-19 season

This took me a couple of days to put together so please appreciate it

Want to know how to pronounce a players name?

Click this link!

*All gifs made by me*

Forwards:

☞ Sebastian Aho™️ #20

Yes there is another “Sebastian Aho” from Sweden but he’s usually in the AHL (Bridgeport/Islanders)

Born: July 26, 1997 (22 years old/Leo) from Rauma, Finland

6′0, Centre, 35th overall CAR 2015

Nicknames: Fishy, Seabass, Sepe, Sebu

He’s the face of this franchise and the only player on this team that the Canadian media knows about

Is being held against his will in Raleigh because he wants to play for Montreal if you don’t know the actual story MTL sent him an offer sheet that he signed because he wanted the money and knew Carolina could pay it, but you know how Habs twitter can be.

Possibly the messiest Hurricane

Who’s my daddy?!

Spirit animal is a lion, hear him roar

Avid coffee drinker

Baby face

Painted a picture of his cat one time

☞ Ryan Dzingel #18

Born: March 9, 1992 (27 years old/Pisces) from Wheaton, Illinois

6′0, Centre, 204th overall OTT 2011

Nicknames: Zinger, Dizzy, Dzingel Bells, D-pingel

Played with the Ohio State Buckeyes for 3 seasons, recorded the first hat trick in Big Ten history against Xichigan

Traded to CBJ Feb ‘19, signed with CAR as a free agent summer ‘19

Might need glasses, he squints like that ^ a lot

Golfs... A L O T

Wants to produce for the team so he can stay here in Raleigh and make it his home ♥︎

Jeep guy

Looks uncomfortably similar to Tripp Tracy

UNC fan

☞ Warren Foegele #13

Born: April 1, 1996 (23 years old/Aries) from Markham, Ontario

6′2, Left Wing, 67th overall CAR 2014

Nicknames: Foegs, Foegdaddy

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Dougie Hamilton

Duke fan

Accidentally broke Osh*e’s collarbone but TJ and C*p fans will claim he tried to murder him

Spirit animal is a tiger, also hear him roar

Very easily scared

Duke fan

☞ Erik Haula #56

Born: March 23, 1991(28 years old/Aries) from Pori, Finland

6′0, Left Wing, 181st overall 2009 MIN

Nicknames: Hauls, Haulsy

Moved to Minnesota in 2008 to play hockey in boarding school

Played for the University Of Minnesota Gophers for 3 seasons

Signed with MIN in 2013, was picked up by the VGK in 2017 as a free agent in the Expansion Draft, then traded to CAR summer of 2019 (for Nic Roy & draft pick)

Suffered a pretty bad knee injury in the 2018-19 season

CAKE

Got married this past summer ♥︎

Currently living in Calvin de Haan’s old house

☞ Jordan Martinook (A) #48

Born: July 25, 1992 (27 years old/Leo) from Brandon, Manitoba

6′0, Left Wing, 58th overall 2012 PHX

Nicknames: Marty, Marty Man, Marty Party

Signed with PHX/ARI in 2012, traded to CAR in 2018 (for Krüger)

Raw chaotic dad energy

Doesn’t like corndogs and has a very high pitched scream

His wife gave birth to their first son last season before he got his downstairs fixed in the offseason

LETS GO SVECH

Spirit animal is a dolphin because he has a great impression

There is so much more I want to put on here but you should really just follow his Twitter

☞ Brock McGinn #23

Born: February 2, 1994 (25 years old/Aquarius) from Fergus, Ontario

6′0, Left Wing, 47th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Ginner, Brock McWinn, McPing, the new Mr. Game Seven (that one is kind of a joke though), Big Cock Brock

Single handedly defeated evil not only once but twice on April 24th, 2019, earning him the nicknames “Brock McWinn” and the new “Mr. Game Seven”

Has two brothers who also play professionally; Jamie (NHL) and Tye (AHL) McGinn

Co Owner of the Roanoke Rail Road Dawgs with his brothers and father

His daddy is Bob

Has a high probability of burning his whole house down

Used to be a fighter, but he didn’t fight anyone last season

Thor

Was 3rd in the league with most MsS Post (10) in the 2017-18 season earning him the nickname Brock McPing

☞ Martin Nečas #88

Born: January 15, 1999 (20 years old/Capricorn) from Nove Mesto na Morave, Czech Rebublic

6′2, 12th overall 2017 CAR, “He plays, like, Centre”

Nicknames: Neči, Marty, Nacho, Marto

Your 2019-20 ****** ****** winner

He’s here to fix out PP units, quote me on that

Little hockey stick chain ^

Is known for falling while scoring

Is it avocado or avocaydo?

Hidden talent: Belly dancing

Almost killed the entire team with a golf club last season

Don’t mess with him

Just won the Calder Cup with the Checkers :)

☞ Nino Niederreiter #21

Born: September 8, 1992 (27 years old/Virgo) from Chur, Switzerland

6′0, Right Wing, 5th overall 2010 NYI

Nicknames: El Nino

Was the highest drafted Swizz born player until Hischer in 2017

Signed to the Islanders in 2010, traded to Minnesota in 2013, then traded to Carolina in January 2019 (for Rask)

Was about to take a nap when he was traded

Just when canes fans almost lost hope, Nino showed up and saved our season

When he came to Carolina, someone gave him sweet tea and he really liked it

Was voted best dressed by a couple teammates

Loves the surge

Supports women’s hockey

☞ Jordan Staal (C) #11

Born: September 10, 1988 (31 years ago/Virgo) from Thunder Bay, Ontario

6′4, Centre, 2nd overall 2006 PIT

Nicknames: Stallsy, Jordad, Gronk

Arrested at his brother’s bachelor party

Won the Stanley Cup with the Penguins in 2009

Jordan is the youngest out of the other brothers (Eric, Marc) in the league (NHL) 3rd brother is the youngest and is now a coach

Signed with PIT in 2006, traded to CAR in 2012 (for 8th overall pick, Brandon Sutter and Brian Dumoulin)

Named Captain in the 2017-18 season, became Alternative Captain in 2018-19, is now Captain again in 2019-20

Great at dad jokes

☞ Andrei Svechnikov #37

Born: March 26, 2000 (19 years old/Aries) from Barnaul, Russia

6′2, Right Wing, 2nd overall 2018 CAR

Nicknames: Svech, Mother Russia

Svech is ready

“Just win every game”

Wears #37 because that’s what his brother, Evgeny Svechnikov (DET), wears

Russia = Cold, Raleigh = Hot

Apparently his biggest talent outside of hockey is… magic?

Best friends with Warren Foegele and Dougie Hamilton

Likes to shovel the ice during practice

Me?

Terrible at golf..

.. I mean like really bad

☞ Teuvo Teräväinen #86

Born: September 11, 1994 (25 years old/Virgo) from Helsinki, Finland

5′11, Left Wing, 18th overall 2012 CHI

Nicknames: Turbo, Teukka

Shortest Hurricane

Began with CHI in 2014, traded to CAR in 2016 (along with Bickell for 2nd round pick)

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (Along with van Riemsdyk)

Has the worst sense of smell ever

I mean come on.. pumpkin? toothpaste?

I could keep going with this I don't know what’s wrong with his nose

Most likely the messiest Hurricane

Would dump Sebastian on the side of the road after 100km

Gets scared REALLY easily

His sisters plays hockey over in Finland (and is pretty good at it too)

☞ Lucas Wallmark #71

Born: September 5, 1995 (24 years old/Virgo) from Umea, Sweden

6′0, Centre, 97th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Wally

My daddy!?

His spirit animal is… a horse?

^ He enjoys watching horse racing

*Straight face* “Snacks!? Candy!?”

Deal with it

Showed up to a U12 and U18 team practice to work on skills with kids

Owns a pug named Lovis

Defense

☞ Joel Edmundson #6

Born: June 28, 1993 (26 years old/Cancer) Brandon, Manitoba

6′4, 46th overall 2011 STL

Nicknames: Crop Top King, Eddy

Won the cup in 2019 with STL and partied in a crop top

True Canadian, ate poutine out of the cup

Traded in September 2019 to CAR (along with Bokk for Faulk and draft pick)

Going to strengthen our PK I promise

Finally, an enforcer

Forgot to take his skate guards off during his CAR preseason debut in front of 18,000 people

Is a barbie girl, living in a barbie world

☞ Haydn Fleury #4

Born: July 8, 1996 (23 years old/Cancer) from Carlyle, Saskatchewan

6′3, 7th overall 2014 CAR

Nicknames: Fleurs

Beat his little brother Cale (MTL) during his NHL debut

Best friends with Trevor van Riemsdyk

Has the cutest dog named Kobe

Won the Calder Cup along with Nečas :)

If you want to giggle watch this

Has the worst witch cackle you will ever hear

Apparently the best golfer on the team

Big Duke fan

☞ Jake Gardiner #51

Born: July 4, 1990 (29 years old/Cancer) from Minnetonka, Minnesota

6′2, 17th overall 2008 ANA

Nicknames: Gards

Played for the University of Wisconsin for 3 seasons

Traded to TOR in 2011, signed as a free agent to CAR in summer 2019

Has the cutest baby

Denied several offers from other teams mtl to play with us instead

Hands down had the best Halloween costume two years ago

☞ Dougie Hamilton #19

Born: June 17, 1993 (26 years old/Gemini) from Toronto, Ontario

6′6, 9th overall 2011 BOS

Nicknames: D-Ham, Doug the Thug, well his real name is Douglas so I guess Dougie is technically a nickname

Tallest Hurricane

Both of his parents are Olympians, brother also plays professional hockey

Started with BOS in 2012, traded to CGY in 2015, then traded to CAR in 2018 (Last remaining player from the huge Hamilton, Ferland & Fox for Lindholm and Hanifin trade)

Best friends with Andrei Svechnikov and Warren Foegele

Porche guy

Grew out a mullet because his hair salon couldn’t take him as a walk in

Jack Edwards complained that he was wearing a number retired from the Whalers so he taped a 6 over the 1 in 19 to make 69

Goes to children's hospitals dressed as woman characters

Lowkey shootout king

Floss

Another Duke fan

Wears the same blazer to every road game

☞ Brett Pesce #22

Born: November 15, 1994 (24 years old/Scorpio) from Tarrytown, New York

6′3, 66th overall 2013 CAR

Nicknames: Pesh

“I play defense bro”

Played for the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with van Riemsdyk)

Pretty ^

Wears 22 for his dad

He’ll break your ankles

Fortnite squad

Brought his wonderful brother on the mentors trip

Allergic to cats

☞ Jaccob Slavin (A) #74

Born: May 1, 1994 (25 years old/Taurus) from Denver, Colorado

6′3, 120th overall 2012 CAR

Nicknames: Slav-o

The second ‘c’ stands for captain

Faith and family

Played for Colorado College for two seasons

Adopted a beautiful baby girl with his beautiful wife

Has an instagram for his two dogs

His daddy is “Robert”

Not afraid of snakes at all

☞ Trevor van Riemsdyk #57

Born: July 24, 1991 (28 years old/Leo) from Middletown, New Jersey

6′2, Undrafted

Nicknames: TVR, Riems

Agreed to terms with CHI in 2014

Won the cup with CHI in 2015 (along with Teräväinen)

Was picked up by the VGK in the 2017 expansion draft

The next day traded to CAR (for 2nd round pick)

James van Riemsdyk (PHI) is his older brother

Played with the University of New Hampshire for 3 seasons (2 of those seasons with Pesce)

He’s too tired to be scared

March Madness

Best friends with Haydn Fleury

Pride representative for the team

Goalies

☞ Petr Mrázek #34

Born: February 14, 1992 (27 years old/Aquarius) from Ostrava, Czech Republic

6′1, 141st overall 2010 DET

Nicknames: Mrazzle Dazzle, St. Petr

Moved to Ottawa at age 17

Signed with DET in 2014

Was HUGE for them during the 2015 playoff run

Traded to PHI in Feb ‘18, signed as a free agent with CAR in July ‘18

Stylish

He had custom hats made for every player on the team

Always has Peter Griffin in his helmet design

Signature move: Poke Check

☞ James Reimer #47

Born: March 15, 1988 (31 years old/Pisces) from Morweena, Manitoba

6′2, 99th overall 2006 TOR

Nicknames: Optimus Reim, The Statue, Reims

Debuted with TOR in 2010, traded to SJS Feb ‘16

Signed with FLA as a free agent summer ‘16, traded to CAR summer ‘19 (for Darling and a 2020 6th round pick)

Has two kids

Really good swimmer

You may recognize this famous goalie meme, that’s right, that's him

Optimus Reim helmet art

He looks so much like Weston from Love Island USA

Honorable Mention

☞ Julien Gauthier #44

I’m including him because everyone expected him to make the team as he did phenomenal in the preseason (playing all 6 games) but due to cap space (and our horrid pp units), he was sent back down.

Born: October 15, 1997 (turning 22/Libra) from Pointe-aux-Trembles, Quebec

6′4, Right Wing, 21st overall 2016 CAR

Nicknames: Goat, Gauths, Jules

Big boy

Bilingual (French/English)

Cute accent

His uncle played 554 games in the NHL (Denis Gauthier)

Both his father and grandfather were professional bodybuilders

That explains his muscles

The best thighs in the league (not up for debate)

Also won the Calder Cup this past season with Haydn Fleury and Martin Nečas

Head Coach

☞ Rod Brind’Amour #17

Roderick Jean Brind’Amour

Born: August 9, 1970 (age 49 years/Leo) from Ottawa, Canada

6′1, Centre, 9th overall 1988 STL

Nicknames: Rod the Bod, RBA

Played with Michigan State for one season

Started with STL in the playoffs of ‘88, traded to PHI in ‘91, traded to CAR in 2000

Captain of the 2006 CAR Stanley Cup winning team

Played 20 seasons, 1,484(GP) 452(G) 732(A) 1,184(P)

Became head coach for the 2018-19 season

First year as HC broke the team’s 9 year playoff drought and brought them all the way to the ECF

Is known for his extreme workouts

Still in better shape than 98% of the league

Could very well still lace up and play better than 80% of the league

Lives rent free in W*lson’s and Reirden’s heads

Gives the best post-game speeches

President & General Manager

☞ Don Waddell

I really just wanted an excuse to put this gif in here

Coached the 1998 DET Stanley Cup winning team

Named Pres. & GM of CAR in May ‘18

Owner

☞ Tom Dundon

Lives rent free is Habs fans minds

Estimated net worth is $1.1 billion?

Majority owner of TopGolf (55%)

Chairman of the Alliance of American Football

Purchased 52% of CAR in January 2018 for $420million

Likes to hang around team/fan events

Stays in the same hotel as me lol

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spacereadinglesbian · 6 years ago

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35 reasons why I love you

Summary: TJ hasn’t really seemed like himself for about three days. Cyrus tries everything to wrap his mind around it but he can’t. So he decides to write a list on why he is son important to him. (This is a spin off of 45 reasons by Theo @you-get-to-exhale-now-Cyrus, please check her fic our! )

Word count: 1882

1. You’re kind 

The first real interaction we ever had together, you were nothing but kind to me. You took time out of your day to talk to some nerd who was all sweaty on a swing set, for what? For a split second I thought you were there to make fun of me, to laugh at how I look but you surprised me. You sat down and talked to me, and that’s the day I realized you were kind. It’s been over 4 years and you haven’t stop showing me kindness. It’s not even just me you show kindness to now, you’ve expanded and now your kindness radiates off of you like the sun on the lake during summer. You’re the kindest person I know.

2. You ask about my day No matter how shitty your day is, you make sure that you ask about my day. At first I thought it was a courtesy thing, but you actually listen to my answer. You listen to every word I say, and hang onto them like a needle on a thread.

3. You have a special smile reserved for me You’re smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and if I can make you smile for the rest of your life, I promise I will.  

4. You’re intelligent God, you’re so intelligent. You can state history facts off the tip of your tongue, and you have a quote from literature for almost any situation. Even in math your excelling, you took the hardship and got help, even when you didn’t want to. You’re doing amazing now Teej, and I couldn’t be more proud.

5. You’re sympathetic  You care. You care more than any person I’ve met. That day when I came home because my dog died, you were there holding me and reminding me that I was going to be okay. When Andi and Amber had their first fight, you comforted Amber then were at Andi Shack in a matter of 10 minutes. And Buffy. When Buffy has a problem with Marty she doesn’t ask me, she asks you, that’s a huge step, especially for her. And when Jonah has panic attacks, he talks to you. You’re the first person he goes to, he says he does it because you’re the best listener, I agree.  

6. You don’t put hair gel in you hair when it’s just us 

7. You’re incredible with kids  Whenever I go to bring you lunch at work you have at least two children clinging to your leg. They say that Mr.TJ is the best gym instructor they’ve ever had.  

8. You’re strong When your parents went through that divorce you were the glue that held the family together while you were also falling apart. You kept it together in front of your mom, your little brother, and Amber. You said they needed at least one man that wouldn’t screw them over. You were only 15 at the time but wanted to make sure everyone was taken care of. You’re the strongest person I know.

9. You’re a great story teller Damn I could listen to your stories all day, every day. The amount of detail you go into when you’re telling story and the little light in your eyes when you realize somebody actually cares about it is breathtaking.

10. You’re warm  When I’m cuddling with you I don’t even need a blanket. I think you’re so warm because you have such a warm heart, but that's just my personal opinion. 

11. You make the best coffee 

12. You can ramble about history for hours

13. Glasses  When you wake up from a nap and have your hair misplaced and your glasses on you look like the softest little teddy bear.  

14. You care about the environment  Do you remember the day when we had a beach date? We didn’t even end up swimming, we ended up picking up as much trash as we possibly could on the beach. And after that, your smile was radiating so we went to a different beach and picked that one up too. I also gave up beef for you because your love for the environment is so infectious, and you know how much I loved hamburgers.

15. You respect and love your mom  I’ve never seen someone have so much respect for their mom. I don’t know if its because you’re a respectful person or because of everything your mom has done for you. From being a single mom to accepting you when you came out. All I know is that you look at her like she holds the world, and you’re not wrong because she held you for 9 months and now you’re my world. 

16. You text me to make sure I get home safe  Nobody has ever taken the time to make sure I get home safe every single time I leave them, it just reminds me how lucky I am to have you.

17. You’re an awful person to watch sad movies with. Yeah I said it. You get so emotional while watching sad movies we always end up changing them, but I don’t mind because I hate thinking about sad things when I’m with you.  

18. You collect socks  Whenever I have a bad day I look at your socks. You always have something cool on them whether it’s dogs, or basketballs, but my personal favorite are the ones with unicorns. 

19. You don’t have one plain pair of sheets  You say that if you fall asleep on plain sheets your brain doesn’t get enough imagination. Now I know why you’re such a creative person 

20. Every time we are out we have to get your dog a new toy  I swear Bonnie has at least 30 toys all from you. “Cy, we have to go get her a toy! We went out without her she’s going to hate us!” Every time I cave.  

21. You like to capture the moment At first I hated it that you took so many pictures, I always said “let’s live in the moment.” But you always wanted to take at least one picture. Now I’m lucky that you did that, we have a picture from every movie night to every date. 

22. You have soft hands  I always take your hands in mine because they are so soft, I just can’t help it, plus I love playing with your fingers. 

23. Your eyes light up when you talk about something you love I don’t know if you know this, but you get a sparkle in your eye whenever you talk about something you care about. That’s why I watch history documentaries with you and help you pick up beaches. I never want to see your eyes without sparkle. 

24. You don’t half ass shit  No matter how hard something is, you give it your all. You put everything you have into it, I can’t help but admire that part of you.  

25. You’ve worked for everything you have  You have worked since you were 14 years old, almost nobody does that. You pay for your phone bill, you’re gas, and your car insurance, and you still beg to pay while we’re on dates.  

26. You volunteer at the elementary school Every Wednesday you read to a second grade class, I don’t know why you do it, you’ve never told me, but I know it holds a special place in your heart.  

27. You’re an incredible brother You always help Cooper with his homework when you get home from school. You’re always there to talk to him, you even talk to him about girl troubles even though in your words “I have no experience”. And Amber. Oh my god you’re such an incredible brother to Amber. You’re there for her to talk to or yell at, or use as a punching bag when needed. You even letter put makeup on you when she wants to try something new, you’re the only person I know who lets their sister do that.

28. You’re a good cuddler That’s it, that’s the whole reason.  

29. You put your friends first  Ever since we adopted you into our friend group you’ve cared about everyone. If they look down you make sure to text them ask them privately, if they are having a hard family time you offer them to stay at your house. You treat everybody like family, it’s one of the many reasons I love you.  

30. You always offer to pay  Even though I got a job, you still offer to pay, ALWAYS! We have to rock, paper, scissor, it out every time to decide who gets to pay.

31. You’re a great captain Ever since 8th grade you’ve respected your teammates and you made sure they get the attention they need. You put your practices first, you’re kind to every single person, you even have game nights once a month at your house.

32. You have a good relationship with my family  My mom literally treats you like her own son, she always asks why you aren’t at the house and when you’re coming over next. My dad asks when your games are and shows up to every one, he always tells me how great you are basketball. He’s thankful that one day he might have a son that loves sports just as much as he does.

33. God, you have really soft lips  

34. You’re sincere  I feel like I’ve already said this, but I guess I’ll say it again, you love with your whole heart and nothing less. You care about people, you truly care about people TJ and it shows, you’re just an incredible person. 

35. You’re the most important thing in my life  From the day I met you I knew you were special. I knew you held a special place in my heart and I didn’t know why. Then I got to know you, I really got to know you and I started to understand why my heart felt so full while you were around. It’s because of everything that I’ve listed and more. When I’m not with you, you’re all I think about, and when I’m with you I think about the next time I can see you. I think about your voice, and your eyes. I think about how soft your lips feel on mine. I think about when you giggle and try to hide it by covering your mouth with your hand. God Theodore, i just think about you. I think about what I would do without you, and my mind goes blank because I can’t. I can’t see myself without you by my side. You are the most important thing in my life, and I love you more than you can ever imagine. And all I want for you is to be happy.

Love always,  Cyrus

#andi mack #buffy driscoll #cyrus goodman #disney #tj kippen #tj x cyrus #tyrus fanfic #tyrus andi mack #andi mack fanfic #amber #ambi #andi x amber

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thesportssoundoff · 5 years ago

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DWCS Season Finale Primer

Joey

August 25th, 2019

Dusko Todorovic vs Teddy Ash Middleweight

Dusko Todorovic 8-0, 25 years old From Serbia Secutor MMA

Fun Factoids:

-Dusko Todorovic already comes into the DWCS with plenty of quality wins on his resume. He has a win over funky Brazilian UFC fighter Michel Pereira (up a weight class for Pereira), DWCS fighter Alexander Poppek (up a weight class for Todorovic), Pride veteran Kazuo Takahashi and then undefeated fighter Toni Merkulev. -Dusko is looking to become the second European born fighter to win a contract on the DWCS. The first one was Croatian fighter and Stipe Miocic training partner Aleksa Camur. -6 of Dusko's 8 wins have been recorded (one fight has no listed methodology for the result) first round stoppages.

Teddy Ash 14-4, 29 years old From Canada Shaved Bears MMA (Home of Tanner Boser)

Fun Factoids:

-Teddy Ash's record is equally loaded with names you'd know. He went 1-1 with former UFC veteran Dominique Steele, has a win over former UFC veteran Seth Baczynski, a win over DWCS veteran Cameron Olson, a loss to UFC signee (released due to PEDs) Adam Hunter AND a win over Bellator vet Viktor Valiamaki.He was also at one point scheduled to go back up to 205 lbs to fight Matt Hammil this year but THANKFULLY that fight fell through. -Teddy Ash has been a pro since 2013 and is an ALASKA FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP veteran. -Since "What do fighters do when they're not fighting?" is always of interest to some people, Teddy Ash works as a welder in the Syncrude Aurora mine.

Kailan Hill vs Impa Kasanganay Middleweights

Kailan Hill 5-0, 24 years old From California, By way of Puerto Rico Blackhouse MMA (Home to Lyoto Machida, Anderson Silva, Pedro Munhoz, Mackenzie Dern)

Fun Factoids:

-Kailan Hill has spent 4 of his 5 pro fights fighting in the LFA cage with stoppage in 3 of those 4 fights. -Hill comes into this fight with a decision win over Jhonoven Pati; Pati's pro losses prior to that? Ryan Spann (in the UFC) and Punahele Soriano (now in the UFC). His other high profile was WW Adam Fuggit, 4-1 with his sole loss coming to Bellator vet Austin Vanderford. -Hill owns two of LFA's most impressive finishes; one by step up knee into a right cross vs Adam Fuggit and the other a spinning backfist KO over 4-1 Andre Walker.

Impa Kasanganay 5-0, 25 years old From North Carolina Gym-O (Home to Scott Holtzman, Bryan Barberena and Justine Kish)

Fun Factoids:

-Impa DEBUTED in 2019. He has less than a full year's worth of experience as a pro even if he has three years of amateur experience. Madness. -Despite his relative lack of experience, Impa has appeared almost entirely for brand name MMA orgs. He's fought twice for Island Fights, once for KOTC and once for LFA. His most accomplished opponent is 4-3 (now 4-4) Devorious Tubbs. -Impa Kasangnay played college football at the university of Western Carolina as a reserve linebacker.

Sang Hoon Yoo vs Peter Barrett Welterweights

Sang Hoon Yoo 5-0, 29 years old From South Korea Busan Team MAD (Home of See Heo Ham, Dongi Yang, Stun Gun Kim and Doo Ho Choi)

Fun Factoids:

-Sang Hoon Yoo's record is truly perplexing. His first official fight on record is against a 15-6 Vitor Toffanlelli. He followed that up by fighting not a single person over .500 from that point on. -Hoon Yoo's fights has made lightweight before but two of his last three fights have been at a 165 lb catchweight so keep an eye on that as it pertains to a fighter making or not making weight. -Yoo is looking to become the first Korean fighter to win a DWCS contract.

Peter Barrett 10-3, 33 years old From Boston Team Sityodong (Home of Kenny Florian, Rob Font, Saul Almeida), Lauzon MMA (Home of Calvin Kattar, Rob Font )

Fun Factoids:

-Not sure if this counts as fun for Barrett but he comes into this fight 2-3 in his last four fights. His last win was over longtime MMA veteran Jay Ellis who boasts a rugged 17-75 (!) record. -Barrett was scheduled to compete on a Bellator card in 2018 but his opponent popped for PEDs and the fight was nixed. He never got another opportunity with the organization. -Peter Barrett works as a bartender outside of fighting.

Ben Sosoli vs Dustin Joynson HEAVYWEIGHTS BIG BOI WEIGHT

Ben Sosoli 7-2, 25 years old From Australia Resilience Training Centre

Fun Factoids:

-Ben Sosoli was a contestant on TUF 28; he lost to eventual winner Juan Espino in the quarterfinals. -Ben Sosoli has a professional boxing background as well as a background as a rugby player prior to a knee injury. -Sosoli's best opponent is Kelvin Fitial who he split fights with.

Dustin Joynson 5-0, Age Unknown From Canada Zugec Ultimate MMA (Home to Sarah Kauffman and Ryan Janes)

Fun Factoids:

-Joynson debuted in 2014 and then took three years off, in large part due to the fact that they couldn't find him a fight. Joynson struggled -Joynson did a large portion of his camp for this fight at Syndicate MMA and the UFC PI. -Dustin Joynson works in a school in Canada and he said he won't quit his job even if he gets a UFC contract.

Dylan Lockard vs TJ Brown Featherweights

Dylan Lockard 6-1, 27 years old From Boston Sityodong MMA (Home of Kenny Florian, Rob Font, Saul Almeida)

Fun Factoids:

-Lockard's one pro loss is to 3-3 Shane Manley although he did rebound from that to win three fights against opponents with records above .500. -Lockard is a graduate of the University of New Hampshire. -Dylan Lockard has some weight class versatility as he's fought as high as 155 lbs (in his last fight, a five round championship fight) and as low as 135 lbs at the start of his career.

TJ Brown 13-6, 29 years old From Arkansas

Westside Fight Team (Home of Bryce Mitchell)

Fun Factoids:

-Brown has some names on his resume that might ring bells. He has losses to UFC veteran Bobby Moffet, Bellator veteran Cody Carrillo and Bellator/LFA veteran Trey Ogden. -TJ Brown is coming onto the Contender's Series off a big highlight reel KO over Ken Beverley. -Brown is about to fight for the fourth time in 2019 and wants to take another fight before the end of the year as well.

#MMA #UFC #DWCS

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tkmedia · 3 years ago

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Ian Foster backs impact players: 'There's no blame at all on the bench'

10:28pm, 02 October 2021 Despite leading their rematch with the Springboks 20-11 nearing halftime, the All Blacks fell away in the second stanza, conceding 14 unanswered points, and ultimately suffered a 31-29 defeat.ADVERTISEMENTSouth Africa struggled in the second quarter of the match but a triple substitution in the 38th minute saw front-rowers Steven Kitshoff, Malcolm Marx and Vincent Koch join the fray and add some real impetus at scrum-time.The likes of Elton Jantjies and Frans Steyn also helped turn the tide of the game in the second half, with Steyn’s accurate long punts causing more than a few issues for the men in black and Jantjies nailing a long-range drop goal late in the match to put New Zealand under immense pressure with time almost up on the clock.

Ian Foster and Ardie Savea react to the All Blacks’ defeat to the Springboks.

Ian Foster and Ardie Savea react to the All Blacks’ defeat to the Springboks.Those five substitutions were ultimately pivotal in the final result and Springboks coach Jacques Nienaber will be content with the knowledge that his side boasts can finish strongly and win the tight battles when they matter most.For All Blacks coach Ian Foster, the outcome wasn’t quite so positive.After last weekend’s narrow victory, Foster switched up his bench for the rematch. Changes included swapping TJ Perenara from the starting lineup to the reserves and elevating Brad Weber into the No 9 jersey, bringing in Asafo Aumau and George Bower as substitute front-rowers and reintroducing Richie Mo’unga to the team after a long absence.While the Springboks improved following the introduction of their bench, the All Blacks faded.ADVERTISEMENTThe NZ reserve front-rowers brought useful energy in the loose but the set-piece suffered. Although the lineout was never operating smoothly, substituting Codie Taylor, Scott Barrett and Luke Jacobson off the park in the second half turned it into a huge weakness, with the All Blacks losing multiple lineouts on both attack and defence.The scrum, meanwhile, was also folding backwards and it was only through the good work of captain Ardie Savea that the All Blacks weren’t pinged on both offensive and defensive feeds.The issues were also evident in the backline, with TJ Perenara’s delivery a marked step down from the quickfire passes of Weber while Mo’unga looked very much short of match fitness and struggled to make any impact with ball in hand.The Springboks have played everyone – the All Blacks included – like fiddles. #RSAvNZL #Springboks #AllBlackshttps://t.co/HTAZjKjfyl— RugbyPass (@RugbyPass) October 3, 2021ADVERTISEMENTThe one shining light for the All Blacks was Ethan Blackadder, who’s never-say-die attitude and infinitely fueled engine a handy addition to the side – but it’s curious why it was Jacobson who left the field instead of Akira Ioane, who has struggled to assert himself against the Springboks after being one the All Blacks’ best throughout the season.Speaking after the match, Foster suggest that the All Blacks did get the impact they wanted from the reserves bench, even if it wasn’t the impact many fans might have been hoping for.“It was a different sort of impact, different situation they came in,” he said. “I thought we finished the first half in quite a strong position and I think the problem-solving on the park was really, really good.“The third quarter, we just muddled around a little bit. They tried to come at us through their set-piece and I thought we hung pretty tough in that space but in that last quarter, we perhaps struggled to play with the ball in their half and that was the area that I thought we got a little bit frustrated and didn’t have quite the direction that we needed to, so we’ll go and have a look at that.“But there’s no blame at all on the bench. It’s a tough old game and the South Africans threw everything at us and probably played their best game in many ways and turned it into one of those traditional games we’ve had over the last three or four years and a lot of them seem to go down to the last few minutes.”The third quarter of the match was when Foster had earlier identified as the changing of the tide.“To lose any game at the end when you’ve got control of it is frustrating but massive arm wrestle really,” he said.“I thought the South Africans played superbly. They came with a lot of attitude, they carried hard, they moved us around and really challenged us in many ways, particularly in that third quarter. I thought they had a really strong third quarter and got us a bit flustered but I just like the way we hung in there and we found a way.“We did some nice things, we took some great opportunities early in the game, scored some nice tries and got ourselves into a winning position but then lacked a little bit of discipline in that last two minutes.”With the likes of Joe Moody, Ofa Tuungafasi and Mo’unga still short of minutes, and important figures such as Sam Whitelock, Sam Cane and Aaron Smith set to return to action in the coming months, the All Blacks will undoubtedly improve as a unit but for the men in the reserves, they may find their opportunities limited moving forward, such is the depth of the squad.The selectors will likely employ every player in the team over the coming five matches to round out the year, but whether someone lines up against Italy or France, the USA or Ireland, could come down to how their ledger looked over the past five games – and last night’s loss to the Springboks will certainly play a role in some pla

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auburnfamilynews · 4 years ago

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Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Day-after thoughts on the first “bye” weekend of the year for the conference.

Auburn won yesterday, but if you look around the flaming inferno that is SEC Twitter, you’d understand that what actually happened was that the final score in Oxford should’ve been

Auburn 28

Ole Miss 28

Referees 7

Barn cheatin’ agin, I tell ya. I suppose the only thing that could make Bammerham give us the benefit of the doubt is the year 2020 and all of its weird voodoo. Either way, the Tigers are 3-2 after a 35-28 win over Ole Miss and the team looks to be improving. Gus Malzahn’s game plan was the best one yet, and while there are still some things to iron out, Auburn seemed smoother on offense than they have all year. Defensively there were some issues, but Ole Miss only threw for 161 yards on the day (we’ll ignore the 283 rushing yards they posted). Bend, don’t break, right?

While we were living through the rest of a college football Saturday after a win, our friends over at Red Cup Rebellion were drowning their sorrows in food and booze. Not a bad strategy, been there.

I mean these Masters commercials aren’t even cheering us up. Might as well order $80 in takeout to see if that’ll work

— Red Cup ReBOOlion (@RedCupRebellion) October 24, 2020

Ole Miss is an entertaining, if not especially sound, football team this season, and they’ll likely win a game or two against someone later this year (the carnage in the Egg Bowl could be unrivaled). I’m just glad that Auburn escaped a Kiffin plan with a win.

With a few of the teams in the league on byes, there were only three other games on the slate yesterday, so we move along to the next one on the list, which resulted in the biggest news of the day in the conference.

Nick Saban tells @JamieErdahl that Jaylen Waddle will be out for the year after injury vs. Tennessee. pic.twitter.com/HYcExcqayo

— SEConCBS (@SEConCBS) October 24, 2020

That’s rough news for the Alabama offense and Tide fans as well. I’ve said since Saban came to Tuscaloosa that the wide receivers were the true keys to that offense’s success. Julio Jones, Amari Cooper, Calvin Ridley, Henry Ruggs, Devonta Smith, Jaylen Waddle, and now John Metchie. The rest of the offense is fantastic and highly-rated, but the receivers are the ones that make other teams blink. You can slow down a running game, but the one-on-one matchups on the outside are the X-factors with talent like they’ve had. We’ve seen Waddle tear Auburn up two years in a row, and in a true on-field analysis, I’m relieved we won’t have to play him again, but he is super exciting and it’ll be disappointing not seeing what he can do the rest of the year.

Thankfully for the Tide, receiver is an area where success doesn’t all depend on one player, and with Smith/Metchie still on the field, they’re better than just about anyone else at that position. It was different when Tua went down last year, but Alabama’s finally gotten the injury bug a bit over the last couple of years. They were extremely fortunate until last year when Tua and Dylan Moses went down, but they had a decade of luck in that regard while Auburn had to play Jeremy Johnson in two consecutive Iron Bowls because of injury.

As for Tennessee, man i don’t know. They looked really good up until halftime of the Georgia game a couple weeks ago, but since that time, they’ve been outscored by... a lot.

Since halftime of the Georgia game, Tennessee's offense has now scored two touchdowns and allowed opposing defenses to score four touchdowns.

— David Ubben (@davidubben) October 24, 2020

You read that right. This was right out of the half yesterday, when the Tide returned a fumble for a touchdown. Overall, the Vols have been outscored 109-24 since coming out of the locker room in Athens.

They’ve still got a solid group of talent, but Jarrett Guarantano probably won’t cut it (although his receivers will make ridiculous catches against Auburn in a few weeks, I’m sure). Up next they take on Arkansas in Fayetteville, then A&M at home, before heading to Auburn. If Jeremy Pruitt’s not careful, the Hogs could send him back to Knoxville wearing his mask the right way.

In the “I don’t know what to make of this team” category, Kentucky got shut down by Missouri pretty well yesterday in a 20-10 Tiger win. Let’s look at the Cats. Auburn beats them 29-13, then they fall to Ole Miss by a point in a thriller. Then they beat Mississippi State and Tennessee by a combined 58-9 score. Then they lose to Missouri and look lifeless doing it. But Missouri lost to Tennessee, then beat LSU, but Tennessee is bad? And now LSU started poorly and looked really bad but then exploded yesterday against South Carolina? More on that in a second.

There’s absolutely nothing that makes sense about this season, and really only Alabama is going to look good every single week.

If you want to try to make sense of what will happen to Auburn next weekend when LSU comes to town for an ultra-spooky Halloween full-moon combo matchup, you can look at last night in Death Valley. LSU met South Carolina, with Myles Brennan on the bench due to injury. In stepped TJ Finley, and he looked really good in leading the Tigers to a 52-17 victory. South Carolina, quite honestly, looked awful.

Will Muschamp has a kicker who's 1-3 and down 21 in second half, he elects for another FG. That deserved to fail.

— Connor O'Gara (@cjogara) October 25, 2020

LSU seemingly didn’t need to do much. Rely on their skill position talent and count on Will Muschamp to make mistakes. It’s what Auburn should have done last week. Maybe the Gamecocks had the classic letdown game, and maybe LSU will have one next weekend. Their team still hasn’t done much outside of last night. LSU’s wins haven’t been over anyone with a pulse (ugh, what does that say about our loss last week, blahhhhh), but they’re still going to come into Jordan-Hare next weekend with talent. And a true freshman quarterback. Our buddies over at And the Valley Shook are trying to reverse that mojo already:

The last time LSU started a true freshman QB at Auburn this happened do we really wanna go down that route again pic.twitter.com/YFk8VkaGL8

— And the Valley Screams (@ATVShook) October 25, 2020

We’ll have more on that game coming up over the next few days, because it’s going to be weird.

Halloween.

Full moon.

In this rivalry.

Oh no.

War Eagle.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/10/25/21533061/saturday-sec-impressions

#IFTTT #Blogger #auburn #auburn fast #wareagle #AuburnFamilyNews #war eagle #sec #football news #aubu

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jrsechelon · 5 years ago

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Super Bowl XIII

December 29, 2019, will mark the final game of the 2019 season and what a ride it's been. 2019 gave us early-season surprises with Andrew Luck retiring and many believed after he signed his retirement papers, that LilShupeScoresBIGPoints would be unable to recover from the sudden retirement. Yet, here we are, Super Bowl XIII and LIlShupeScoresBIGPoints is back in the big game with young Josh Allen. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints is a team that has a solid foundation and builds winners through an organization built on always maintaining excellence. As Andrew Luck reported that he is going to call it a career we all wondered how will LilShupeScoresBIGPoints handle this sudden departure? It was something that many analysts believe would put this franchise back several steps. Andrew Luck played big down the stretch last season and deep into the postseason, he led LilShupeScoresBIGPoints to Super Bowl XII where they lost to Thunderbuddy4Life by 11-points. After suffering a tough loss like that it was thought by many LilShupeScoresBIGPoints wouldn't be able to rebound, especially after the divisions had changed and they would be going up against the likes of Evolution, BroncosTillDeath, and again PURPLEHAZE twice a year. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints was focused and determined to not let the change of divisions or the loss of Super Bowl XII demean them from their goals of 2019. When preseason arrived and the retirement of Andrew Luck broke, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints decided to bring in Sam Darnold, it was a risky bet but there is one thing this franchise knows - and that is how to groom a Quarterback. Sam Darnold second-year pro started off alright, he was giving this franchise early season success but that quickly went south after he suffered a case of mononucleosis. While Darnold was out of action LilShupeScoresBIGPoints looked to the likes of Case Keenum who has been a bit of a journeyman. After starting off 3/0/0 with Darnold, Keenum was unable to produce the same kind of success putting LilShupeScoresBIGPoints to an even .500 at 3/3/0.

Exit Luck, Enter Allen

As Week 7 loomed, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints put in a wavier claim, claiming Josh Allen who recently was dropped by HellbentKronik. Allen who had been struggling in the greater New England area now found himself in cheese country, Green Bay, Wisconsin. Going into a Super Bowl re-match against Thunderbuddy4Life, a lot of focus was on if Josh Allen had the moxie that this team needed in order to fare against the defending Champs. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints led by Josh Allen defeated Thunderbuddy4Life by 28-points and truly never looked back. Allen has gone 7/2/0 counting the postseason under the skillful coaching of LilShupeScoresBIGPoints coaching staff. Allen has been through the grind and has come out a better player for it. After falling to PURPLEHAZE twice in the regular season, Josh Allen was able to capture the one win which mattered most against PURPLEHAZE and put his team in prime position to capture their second Super Bowl title in franchise history. Las Vegas has LilShupeScoresBIGPoints as the underdog, they are a 6-point underdog heading into Miami. With Mark Ingram out of action this week due to last weekend's calf injury, James White and impressive rookie Running Back Miles Sanders will be heading the backfield. Though Josh Allen has been quite impressive, young Miles Sanders has undoubtly been the surprising factor on the ground week in and week out. Acquired from VanillaGorillas on August 11 in exchange for Duke Johnson, LIlShupeScoresBIGPoints management knew what they were doing. Getting Mark Ingram a month later from Yuba City Sultans solidified their backfield allowing whoever was going to run this offense a chance to not have to shoulder the entire load. Having two strong running backs and a rookie back who is playing like a 6-year pro is a wonderful thing to have and a great advantage. While Ingram will sit out of the Super Bowl, James White is just as capable as any Running Back to preform to an elite ability. The recent notification that Josh Jacobs will once again be out for Black Hole Son will again result in Matt Ryan having to put the game in his hands and make things happen through the air. Black Hole Son has journeyed to the Super Bowl in an impressive fashion. They've been able to do it with a series of Quarterbacks all-year and make it look seamlessly easy. Matt Ryan and Derek Carr rotated weeks off and on through the season which presented a problem to opponents.

Quarterback Commitee

Though usually, it would cause friction in the locker room - this team knew that they had to put their egos aside and do what is best for the team. This being the last year in Oakland, Black Hole Son wanted to give their fans the Championship they've longed for. While LilShupeScoresBIGPoints had a path to the Super Bowl that was written with adversity and determination, Black Hole Son had a path written by grit, will, and belief. Belief in themselves that this was and is their year. They ran roughshod through the Noll division going undefeated in their division and capping off an impressive 12-straight counting the postseason to reach their first Super Bowl apperance. Black Hole Son has said all year that this is their year, they have yet to be wrong.

Being the favorite by 6-points should give them a sense of confidence going into this game and the impressive play by Mostert last weekend against Evolution should also help them feel at ease with Josh Jacobs out. While Mostert isn't Josh Jacobs, Black Hole Son still has Elliot who had a dismal performance against Evolution. Black Hole Son has the ability to pour on the points on the ground even with Josh Jacobs out but lately, they've been doing it through the air. Michael Thomas broke Marvin Harrison's all-time receiving record last week, not only that but the touchdown he scored truly gave way to them capturing a date in the Super Bowl. Don't get fooled though because LilShupeScoresBIGPoints also has a stout Wide Reciever on their roster. Julio Jones has been playing big as of late and the connection between him and Josh Allen has been really heating up. As Matt Ryan and Julio Jones will match-up, former teammates now enemies on opposing sides, one has to wonder if there will be some healthy competition on who can outshine who. LilShupeScores BIGPoints won their first Super Bowl Championship as the 8th-seed, this time around their the 7th-seed. They're used to being the underdog, they thrive under the pressure and enjoy the talk that they "can't" and "won't" defeat Black Hole Son. As unusual it is for Black Hole Son to be the favorite they've been able to continue showing why they are each and every week. Super Bowl XIII will be the only thing people remember though. If Black Hole Son cannot defeat LilShupeScoresBIGPoints in the Super Bowl, the people won't remember the amazing season Black Hole Son had, they won't remember how many blowouts they gave to opposing teams, and they won't remember the strong postseason push to Super Bowl XIII they had - the only thing they'll remember is the loss they received to LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. Nobody remembers how a season began, they only remember how it ends. This rings true in every sport. The St. Louis Blues were the worst team in January of last season in hockey and yet they stormed back to win the Stanley Cup in the NHL. There are many many examples of teams who have started off terrible or amazing like the Houston Astros, only to lose to an underdog Nationals who had the hot hand. Black Hole Son is very hot, 12 straight wins with a strong core of players on both sides of the ball - but LilShupeScoresBIGPoints is lighting it up as-well playing with house-money knowing they've already won in Miami this season over Evolution this stadium isn't anything new to them.

Black Hole Son Favored In Super Bowl

Sure, it's the Super Bowl. The glitz and glamor are awe-inspiring and alluring but LilShupeScoresBIGPoints has been here twice before, they know how to handle the media frenzy of Super Bowl week, Black Hole Son is new to this. With both teams running with a backup Running Back and Black Hole Son dealing with a banged-up Julien Edelman, the ultimate possibility of this game not coming down to what the offensive can do but what the defensive can do might be more realistic. While both offenses are playing optimal ball, the defenses are both playing with a sense of poise and confidence that oozes swagger. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints is the number one defense in the league and knows how to get after the Quarterback. Black Hole Son's defense is top 10 and last week really came alive against Evolution. Not only did they shut Christian McCaffery down but they continued to bring the blitz over and over again against Carson Wentz. It was not only strong defense but strong special teams for both teams. These two defensive units and special team players have brought their A-game over these last two weeks and it'll be exciting to see what they are able to do against the opposing offense.

Defense Wins Championships

LIlShupeScoresBIGPoints defense led by TJ Watt leads the league with 36 turnovers and ranks second with 51 sacks, this gives them the confidence to achieve what they need to against Matt Ryan whose been very strong as of late. It'll be up to Micha Fitzpatrick and Joe Hayden to shut down Michael Thomas and close down the deep ball creating only short quick passes to a banged-up Edelman and Jack Doyle who has had his worst year in the pros. Even then - if Black Hole Son can get their ground game going it can spell trouble for LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. When Elliot has rushed for under 100-yards the last three games, and the running game for Black Hole Son has been harder and harder to lean on. Feeding Zeke, as they used to say, might still be the best ticket to capture their first Super Bowl Championship but it is going to have to get started early and often. To rely strictly on Matt Ryan and Michael Thomas is going to be hardpressed against a very strict defense that doesn't give up a ton of yards, or points. Now, I am not going with LilShupeScoresBIGPoints or Black Hole Son. Both have an equal chance to get the victory and claim themselves as Super Bowl XIII Champions, but I will say, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints thrives in the underdog role, they know how difficult it is to continue success and with them being the last team to defeat Black Hole Son in the postseason they have a formula on taking it to Oakland. Black Hole Son I'm sure hasn't forgotten their 2018 postseason loss to LilShupeScoresBIGPoints and in my honest opinion, it was the best thing that would have happened to this franchise. Due to that loss early last postseason it gave Black Hole Son to evaluate talent and create a draft and free-agent plan that has only gotten more successful with time. Now with a chance to claim revenge against LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, Black Hole Son will look to cap off this remarkable season with a win and a victory that Oakland will never forget.

So who do you have? Looking down the list, you've got to give Black Hole Son the advantage at Quarterback. Matt Ryan is a savvy veteran who knows how to win in pressure-packed situations. He understands it takes each and every person in the facility from the laundry team, to the custodians, to the players, coaches, and owner. He knows this and makes it a point to know everyone's name within the organization. Matty 'Ice' is a class act and definitely gives Black Hole Son the favorite at the Quarterback position. The Running Backs are intriguing and I'd usually go with Black Hole Son if Zeke was feeding like he usually does but Mile Sanders has far more impressed me as of late. He can do it all - not just run inside, but bounce outside, and even catch the ball on the flat. Miles Sanders is a young stud who is only in his first year, he reminds me a lot of Darren Sproles and I believe that he gives LilShupeScoresBIGPoints an edge in the running game on Sunday. The Wide Receiver is pretty even in stats the last few weeks, but with Michael Thomas leading this group, you've got to go with Black Hole Son. This boy is only in this third season as a professional and he has already broken Marvin Harrison's record, can you imagine what is in store for this kid? We know from last week's interview his only focus is the Super Bowl, don't think for one minute he isn't going to have his best game yet of his young career on Sunday.

Michael Thomas & Julio Jones Can Dictate Super Bowl

The Tight End position for Black Hole Son has been a struggle all year and even with Jack Doyle looking like the number one Tight End on this team, he hasn't been much involved. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints utilizes their Tight End heavily. Tyler Higbee has the size, strength, and stamina to stray in the game each and every down not only creating plays in the receiving game but also blocking for the run game wonderfully. Obviously, the Tight End favors LilShupeScoresBIGPoints. Chris Boswell versus Mason Crosby should be fun, both are strong Kickers and can use to Bay Area and Green Bay whirling winds, down in Miami however, this should favor both Kickers and give them the opportunity to sync many 50-yarders. I have to give Mason Crosby the slight advantage because he is the veteran here but if it comes down to a Field Goal, either team should feel confident in their Kickers. The defenses are both fierce and I would feel secure in having either on my team, but LilShupeScoresBIGPoints defense ranks number 1 overall in the entire league so you'd be silly not to go with them, however, the way Black Hole Son's defense has played the last two or three weeks, don't be surprised if they show that they can hang with the brash defensive squad up in Green Bay.

Overall, the advantage goes to LilShupeScoresBIGPoints due to Josh Allen has a run game that has been able to stay strong on the gas pedal in the postseason and a Tight End whose been lighting it up, as well as a Kicker who makes almost everything and defense who is a juggernaut on that field; but Black Hole Son is riding high on a 12-game winning streak and has been favored to win every game since Week 6. This week in Miami at Hardrock Stadium in Super Bowl XIII is no difference. A favorite by 6-points, can Black Hole Son capture their first-ever Championship and bring the city of Oakland the greatest parting gift, or will LilShupeScoresBIGPoints put a halt to Black Hole Son's party and prove why they are possibly the toughest team in the Elite Fantasy League, year in and year out. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints has only been in the league since 2013 and has already been in three Super Bowls and has made the postseason 6 out of 7 times in their short franchise. Black Hole Son had to wait 11 years to make the postseason and 12 before appearing in their first Super Bowl.

Welcome To Super Bowl XIII

If LilShupeScoresBIGPoints can capture this Super Bowl Championship they very well could be the greatest team in the EFL, with the likes of Thunderbuddy4Life who most recently appeared in 3 back-to-back-to-back Super Bowls, losing one and winning two straight. Black Hole Son can be the 4th Orginal-8 team to win a Super Bowl, finding themselves in company with the likes of Straight Edge Society (2), Rainelo Hawks (1), and The Canadian Cripplers (1). Get ready ladies and gentlemen because Super Bowl XIII is only a little over 24-hours away!

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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An NFL player’s guide for the right (and wrong) time to hurdle

Ezekiel Elliott and Todd Gurley are two of the NFL’s best hurdlers. | Credit: Getty Images / SB Nation illustration

NFL players aren’t going to stop hurdling, but hopefully they take these suggestions into consideration.

Hurdling is both an exciting and terrifying aspect of football. When hurdling another player actually works, it’s awesome. But when it goes poorly, it’s embarrassing, and worse, it can lead to an injury.

Hurdling has been a go-to highlight move for years, but recently it seems to that more and more players are doing it in the NFL.

That doesn’t mean every player should attempt it during a game. Luckily, we put together a handy guide to help.

Hurdle if you have the genes to do so

Case in point: Ezekiel Elliott

Elliott was drafted by Dallas fourth overall in 2016, and led the NFL in rushing twice in his first three seasons. His production over the last few years has made him worthy of being considered one of the NFL’s best backs.

Doing things like this certainly helps that reputation. Elliott absolutely destroyed Eagles cornerback Tre Sullivan during a Sunday Night Football game in 2018:

Zeke, this man has a family pic.twitter.com/K6GRcEvZaM

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) November 12, 2018

That is absolutely perfect form: he clears the defender with ease and lands his feet and body forward so he can keep barreling downfield.

“Zeke says if these guys are gonna go low, I have to be able to show them that I’m gonna go over the top of them by hurdling ‘em,” said Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett in NFL Films’ The Hurdle.

He also had this hurdle against the Bears in 2016, during which he was airborne for a solid three years:

This isn’t a new move for Zeke whatsoever. He also did it at Ohio State:

Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

Part of the reason Zeke can hurdle like this is that it’s literally in his genes — he hurdled in high school, and his mother, Dawn, was an all-conference track star at Missouri. His sister Lailah is a sophomore on OSU’s track team, where she runs hurdles, too. His other sister Aaliyah ran track and hurdles in Missouri as well.

It runs in the family... (Photo cred @pj844) pic.twitter.com/ipmTwuWRBC

— Momma, Mom & Mommy (@itz_mizdee) November 12, 2018

Not all running backs agree with his decisions to go jump over defenders, though:

“He better stop that,” said Hall of Fame running back Tony Dorsett in 2017 via the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “That’s one thing that I don’t like. When you get airborne, you’re at the mercy of the hit, and sometimes you can’t protect yourself.”

Dorsett disagrees with Zeke hurdling, but genes don’t lie.

Hurdle if you’ve ever won a state championship in the event

Case in point: Todd Gurley

The Los Angeles Rams running back is a freak of nature, and he could probably hurdle in every single game if he wanted to. One of his best hurdles came during a 2017 game against Washington when Gurley jumped over D.J. Swearinger like it was nothing:

“You don’t really ever teach a guy — that’s not something that you coach,” said Rams head coach Sean McVay via The Hurdle. “I think certain guys, they just kind of have had to feel how to control their body and really since they were younger kids.”

Gurley does this type of thing a lot:

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

A good reason Gurley is so good at this? He won a hurdling state championship in high school in North Carolina, setting school records in the 110 and 300 meters. Gurley’s high school track coach, Andrew Harding, thought Gurley was a good enough hurdler to win a gold medal in the event.

“That’s how talented he was,” Harding told ESPN in 2017. “I really do believe he could have been that. I don’t make that comment with just about anybody, but Todd was that gifted.”

Like Zeke, Gurley hurdled in college, too:

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Although Gurley hasn’t gotten injured from hurdling, he realizes the risks that are involved.

“One day, it’s probably going to end bad,” Gurley said on ESPN’s Undisputed in 2018. “Until then, I’m going to keep jumping. For the most part, it’s more DBs. Most DBs are not going to hit a running back high, especially if they’re going 100 miles per hour fast at them. It’s kind of just a reaction and for the most part, it’s been working.”

Hurdle if you’re 6’5 and have impressive athleticism

Case in point: Josh Allen

The Bills’ first-round draft pick made his second career start on the road against the Minnesota Vikings in 2018. He finished with 39 yards and two touchdowns on the ground, including this amazing hurdle over the Vikings’ Anthony Barr for a first down:

This just in: Josh Allen has ups!#BUFvsMIN #GoBills pic.twitter.com/xv6cxtKu2h

— Buffalo Bills (@BuffaloBills) September 23, 2018

“I was trusting my feet, trusting my gut,” Allen told ESPN after the game. “There was a guy who was maybe three yards in front of the sticks. I knew we needed a first down there and we went on to score on that drive. It was a big play, but it was just another first down.”

This type of play coming from Allen might’ve been unexpected coming from a quarterback. But as Adam Stites pointed out, Allen’s athleticism shouldn’t be too surprising:

He had above-average results in just about every drill at the NFL Combine, including his 4.75-second 40-yard dash, 33.5-inch vertical, and 119-inch broad jump. But other quarterbacks have put up similar numbers and never looked good on a football field.

Those who want the Bills’ franchise QB to stay healthy might not want him to hurdle and risk injury, but it’s pretty awesome that Allen is able to do this in the first place.

Hurdle if you have ridiculously strong, tree-trunk like legs

Case in point: Saquon Barkley

The former No. 2 overall draft pick made a name for himself in college, where he finished as Penn State’s all-time rushing touchdown (43) and total touchdown (53) leader. But he was powerful off the field, too. Back in 2017, Barkley broke a Penn State weightlifting record when he did this:

Penn State Strong! Barkley 405lbs Power Clean pic.twitter.com/1LnAEYqy73

— Iron Lions (@IronLions1) June 29, 2017

Barkley’s thighs are so jacked we once came up with 20 nicknames for them. His speed and athleticism for his size is quite the combo. At the combine, he checked in at 6’0, 233 pounds, and still managed to run a 4.4 40-yard dash with a 4.24 shuttle and 41-inch vertical leap. During Barkley’s rookie season with the New York Giants, he rushed for 1,307 yards and 11 touchdowns, and was selected to the Pro Bowl.

During that same rookie season, he hurdled over dudes like Malcolm Jenkins with ease:

Best 9-yard run you'll ever see? @Saquon #PHIvsNYG : @nflnetwork + @NFLonFOX + : https://t.co/DJUityQHC9 pic.twitter.com/fbSXGmIRo4

— NFL (@NFL) October 12, 2018

To avoid risking injury, Barkley may not hurdle in the future all too often, but it’s certainly fun to see when he does it.

Hurdle if you can make a pass rush play

Case in point: Seattle linebacker Mychal Kendricks

The eight-year NFL veteran suffered a knee injury in December 2018 that sidelined him for the rest of the season, but he’s fully healthy for Seattle this season. So healthy, in fact, that he freaking hurdled Ravens running back Mark Ingram while trying to pressure Lamar Jackson:

Mychal Kendricks with the pass rush hurdle @MychalKendricks pic.twitter.com/TLKNlD18ie

— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) October 20, 2019

Granted, Ingram was probably a lot easier to hurdle than, say, an opposing offensive lineman, but Kendricks made a good decision here since he was able to get to Jackson afterward.

Hurdle if you’re an ageless wonder

Case in point: Vernon Davis

During his NFL Combine, Davis ran a 4.38 40-yard-dash — part of the reason he was the No. 6 overall pick by the San Francisco 49ers in 2006, the fourth-highest tight end selected in draft history.

Incredibly, Davis has been able to maintain a 14-year NFL career, which is double the average league career length. At 35 years old, his style of play hasn’t slowed down one bit. During a 2019 game against the Eagles, he showed off this hurdle:

What’s even more impressive is that he scored a 48-yard touchdown after making this leap!

I’m just saying, I don’t know many 35-year-olds who can hurdle like this.

Don’t hurdle if you’re a tight end born after 1996

Making mistakes when you’re still a young player is part of the game of football. That’s been evident with tight ends, who have made incredibly poor decisions to hurdle in games, especially in 2019.

Case in point: Ravens TE Mark Andrews

The 23-year old Andrews tried hurdling against the Cincinnati Bengals and well, he ended up fumbling the football because of it:

Some things are just a little too ambitious...#CINvsBAL | #SeizeTheDEY pic.twitter.com/8Y41z7ROqY

— Cincinnati Bengals (@Bengals) October 13, 2019

But even after the game Andrews admitted he isn’t ruling out hurdling completely in the future.

“I’m not going to stop being me, being an aggressive player,” Andrews said via Penn Live. “It wasn’t anything they did. I hit the ball out with my own knee, and I gotta be better than that. I can’t do that to my team. That’s not acceptable.”

Case in point: Buffalo Bills TE Dawson Knox

Knox was selected by the Bills out of Ole Miss in the third round of the draft. Call it a rookie mistake, but Knox made an equally ill-advised decision to hurdle against the Titans:

O U C H (via @thecheckdown)pic.twitter.com/YCCLrDyOt0

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) October 6, 2019

The best part in this video is the announcer going “Mm!” during the replay because yeah, ouch.

Case in point: Lions TE T.J. Hockenson

Hockenson — a former Iowa Hawkeye and Detroit’s first-round draft pick — made a bad he had this scary hurdle attempt against the Kansas City Chiefs:

The hurdling phenomenon may have just come to an end. TJ Hockenson is hurt after this play pic.twitter.com/Dv4pGGCD5W

— Jordan Dajani (@JordanDajani) September 29, 2019

What’s worse is that Hockenson actually got hurt on this attempted hurdle, and had to get carted off the field after the play.

Photo by Rey Del Rio/Getty Images

He was in the concussion protocol for a couple weeks because of this injury, too. But like the Ravens’ Andrews, Hockenson isn’t completely ruling out hurdling in the future:

“Nah, I’m going to go out there and play the game,” Hockenson said when asked if he’d stop attempting to hurdle. “I’m not worried about anything else. I’m just going out there to play the game, whether that opportunity presents itself or not. I’m not going to change anything based on one thing.”

Don’t hurdle if it’s illegal

Case in point: Hurdling over linemen to try and block kicks

In 2017, the NFL banned defenders leaping over linemen to block kicks. It’s a pretty tragic rule change, because at its best it produced beautiful block plays like this one:

That’s former Seahawks DB Kam Chancellor hurdling against the Panthers in the playoffs in 2014. This particular block didn’t count (Chancellor ran into the kicker after the hurdle), but it was still an amazing attempt.

Here’s what the NFL rulebook says about leaping now:

Running forward and leaping across the line of scrimmage in an obvious attempt to block a field goal or Try Kick, or apparent kick, unless the leaping player was in a stationary position within one yard of the line of scrimmage when the ball was snapped. A player who is more than one yard behind the line of scrimmage before or at the snap, may run forward and leap, provided he does not cross the line of scrimmage or land on players.

That doesn’t mean players haven’t tried. During a 2018 game between the Seahawks and Vikings, Bobby Wagner used his teammates to jump over the line to block a kick:

Bobby Wagner is a freak pic.twitter.com/tIA4EMxDha

— Jackson Frank (@jackfrank_jjf) December 11, 2018

The refs should have called a penalty on the play since you aren’t allowed to use your teammates for leverage, but they didn’t throw a flag. So Wagner got away with one there.

There are obvious concerns with hurdling linemen, and the first one being safety.

Don’t hurdle if you’re playing in a dang preseason game

Case in point: Reggie Bush

During an August 2015 game between the San Francisco 49ers and Denver Broncos, the then-49ers running back Bush attempted to hurdle five-time Pro Bowl corner Aqib Talib. Let’s just say it did not go ideally:

First of all, to address Bush’s decision to hurdle: this is absolutely terrible, especially given how low Bush still was to the ground. Bush was lucky he didn’t get hurt here, as Niners Nation pointed out at the time.

Bush, at least, could laugh at himself after the game:

Lol damn did it look that bad on TV? All I could do was laugh at myself! #iwasntready… https://t.co/M9Lb0ABloi

— Reggie Bush (@ReggieBush) August 30, 2015

Glad Bush found the humor in this, but just a bad idea all around here.

As you can see, there’s a very thin line between being a highlight and a blooper when it comes to hurdling.

What side of that line you might end up on might be a bit difficult to gauge in the middle of a play, but hopefully this guide helps. While NFL players aren’t going to stop hurdling completely, they can certainly take these suggestions into consideration.

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years ago

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“Dope A-F” - 9/17-10/29- “Bombing in DC, Fun Times in Gainesville, The Slyest Clyde, Storytelling, Wizards, Buskey, and Sick For a Week”

I am legit so tired of doing this dumb ass blog. I want to focus my time on other things, but I know it is good for me to keep writing it. I have so much catching up to do and it is infuriating. So I might just abbreviate the reviews. So with that out of the way let’s get to it.

9/17

I didn’t have a show today, but I needed to get an episode of my podcast recorded. I got Brandon Beswick to contact some of his improv friends, and had them on.

It was a fun pod. I had Joe Freeman, Nathan Bemis, Brandon, and Tom Hall on. We had a super good time just joking around. Giving the games out a day ahead of time really has improved the flow of the show. I can only hope it continues to do so.

9/18

This was kind of a chill night. I had my back to school night at work and when that was over I headed over to Isley to get a set in.

I got to go up third, and there were a few newer comics there as well. I got to talk to a few of my friends and hang, but honestly I was trying to not have to be there too long.

I went after a brand new comic, and tried a bunch of newer stuff. It all worked for the most part. It felt really good to be doing like 7 new minutes. I tried a few new tags, and reworded a few things. I am still figuring out my voice every day but sets like this feel like I am at least figuring out the groove of it. I’d give this set a B. As I was leaving I got to see Jack Parker bring his dog on stage with him, and took a funny picture.

I then headed over to Home Sweet Home to get a good hang in before the mic. It was super chill. Jason had me going up fifth, and it looked like it was going to be an ok sized crowd. He informed us that he would be starting at 9:30 from now on.

My set was similar to the earlier one. I got to try some new stuff, and I adjusted a few things from the set at Isley. People were into it, but one joke didn’t work as well. I need to really sit down and figure it out. I’d give this set a B as well.

I then grabbed my stuff, and said goodbye.

9/19

I was so stoked for tonight. It was Host Battle. This is my favorite show of all time. When we have a crowd that is into it, there is legit no better feeling in comedy.

I got to The Southern early and helped set everything up perfectly. I then did some video editing while I waited for the comics to get there.

The lineup for the night was Sam Wood, Paige Campbell, Keaton Ray, Sam Padgett, Brandon Beswick, Torrey Huggins, and Alex Castagne. We ended up getting about 45 people there. Which isn’t the best we’ve had, but was def good enough.

The show ended up being amazing. I had a lot of good lines and so did Chris. We were able to pull some really funny stuff out of a lot of people. It was like two hours of nonstop jokes. People stayed and seemed to really dig it.

I was able to figure out how to get into my dead dad material. I riffed aline, and it killed. So I can’t wait to go ahead and try it during a set. I’d give the whole show an A. From top to bottom it was the best Host Battle we have done.

After the show we all hung out for a bit, and then I headed home.

9/20

The next day I was hosting in the lounge at the DC Improv. I always love working this room, but recently I have mostly only been hosting. This is fine, and it is a real honor. I just am at a point where I want to get good enough to work my way up the ladder and get some different spots.

The lineup was Bridget Geiran, Isabel Hagan (JFL New Faces) , and Cerrome Russel. We had people drop in from the main room, but it was different each show.

The first one went ok. I had a fine hosting set, and the crowd was into it. I really felt like I had done my job as a host. They were into the show, and it just kept building and building. I’d give this set a B-.

Everybody after me did well. The show built on itself and Cerrome absolutely killed to close it out. After the show it was fun to hang and talk with Bridget and Isabel. Both super dope and funny ladies.

The second show started and they weren’t as into me. I felt like they didn’t like me and I lost them in the middle. I had some big pops but closed weaker than I wanted to. I’d give this set a C-

Still I did my job and got them laughing. The show continued to go well, and get better and better. Afterwards I headed over to Big Hunt to do the mic.

They were super weird and kind of dead here and I was like 18th on the list. So I hung out and met some comics. We had fun riffing, but I was absolutely exhausted so when they told me I was next I was ready to go.

I went up and bombed my ass off. People were not into it at all. I did newer stuff, and everyone was pretty drunk and tired. They didn’t vibe with me, and I felt like I was talking into a void. I even called them out for not laughing at a really great joke. I hated this set, and I'd give it an F.

I then said bye and walked to my car, and headed to TJs to pass out.

9/21

The next day I was at Club Eclipse in Gainesville. The other comics on the show were Lafayette Wright, Bengt Washburn, Cerrome Russel, and Rob Maher.

We had a pretty good hang going before the show. It was a lot of fun. I hadn’t gotten to talk to Rob in a while.

I went up first and had an ok set. Nothing great, and nothing awful. I started slow and it slowly built. There isn’t much to say. I’d give it a C.

After me the show just built, and everyone did great. The show just built, and each comic kept it coming. After the show I got in my car and headed home to pass out.

9/23

I got to The Southern early to set up. I tried rearranging the tables differently to try to get a more intimate feel, and to give myself a better place to set up the camera. After setting everything up I waited for comics to show up.

It was an incredibly light list. We only had 13 comics counting myself. No Richmond comics came, and we didn’t have all of the Charlottesville comics either. Chris wanted it to be a quick show so he was going to give everyone 5 minutes and we’d be all out of there by like 9:10.

The show starts and we have a nice little crowd. It is more than last week, and at least they seem attentive. Everybody begins to go up and the show is going pretty smoothly. I went over to Chris and asked him if I could go last so I could do 10 instead of 5 and he said of course.

I go up for my set and I use the first 8 minutes of my set trying new stuff. It is a super fun and productive mic. the people who are there are into it. They’re digging it. I do new jokes and a little bit of crowd work to warm them up. Then at the 8 minute mark another 14 people walked in, and headed to the bar. So Chris texted me to do 25 minutes so we could sell some more drinks. He also told me to do my A material. So I did. I flipped a switch and went into full performance mode. I ended up having a super hot set doing older stuff. I am very proud of the way I was able to adjust. I accomplished a lot, I learned a lot, and I got a good response. I’d give this set an A.

It was one of the best Southern’s I’d ever been a part of. It was still only 9:40 when the show ended which is like 25 minutes earlier than usual. All in all a super great night.

9/24

The next night the Richmond Funny Bone stand up class was doing their hell week. Tim Loulies asked some local comedians to come and help his students. He picked a made up scenario for each of his students to have to go through. So we did things like heckle, hit on them, ask questions, fake fights, talk loudly, and other things. The best news is I got a text in the middle of the show that my brother had his daughter. So I am an uncle again. I can hardly hold my excitement.

It was pretty brutal, but it was a lot of fun. I used to have problems with stand-up classes. I used to think they were rip offs, but I have adjusted my expectations. If a standup class is what you need to work up the courage to try standup you should go for i. As long as they aren’t advertising that they can make you funny it is ok. I also realize that a lot of people do this as a bucket list/groupon thing. Its the same as people that want to go to rock and roll camp.

Afterwards I talked to Tim and we squashed any beef that we had with each other. We had had a misunderstanding involving a show a little over a year before. It was a good talk and glad we had it.

After this I headed over to Fallout to get a set in. It was a light crowd. It wasn’t even a ton of comics. I got to say hi to the bartender Shelby, and also got to chill with Paige and Alex. Avery Barnard was there, and it was good to catch up. Honestly it was a fun hang. I went up like third.

I go up and try a bunch of new stuff. It works ok for the room. Some stuff gets some laughs and another bit just kind of dies. I am in this period of having a lot of new jokes, and a lot of them are clicking right away, or are at least getting tight pretty fast. The only problem is I also have like 5 or 6 really fun ideas that I just can’t seem to adjust, and make them work. I’d give this set a C. I then headed straight home to pass out.

9/26

I headed down to Hampton after work to do a spot on Ian Nightingale’s show at Sly Clyde Cidery. It is a cider in this little old house. It is a super cute set up, an apparently the shows have been awesome. I got there early and when he showed up we went to hand out some flyers, and grab quick bite to eat/drink.

After this we headed back to the venue. Nick Deez showed up and we got a nice hang in. We headed instead and Luhray and Ryan Valentine showed up. We caught up and joked around a bit.

Then the crowd started to fill in. This place got absolutely packed. It was awesome> I quickly set up my camera so I could record for everyone. Then Ian got the show started.

Ian had a good hosting set, and Nick followed that up and did fine. He had a good pop doing some crowd work which was cool. Then Luhray went up and had a killer set in the middle.

I went up and did a bit of crowd work up top, but then went right into my material. I was having a super hot set. Everything was working, and I got a few bits to hit extremely hard. I knew I'd be able to cut a few out for some videos. I’d give this set an A-.

After me Ryan went up and closed really strongly as well. He had some stuff hit super hard, and it felt like this was a really killer show. The coolest part was before Ian went up and mentioned a tip jar I told him to mention Venmo as well. It was like these people couldn’t wait to do it. We got some tips, and I headed home. Only to find out I had left my credit card in Hampton.

9/27

The next day I got Nick to go grab my credit card since we were doing the same show together at Midnight Brewing in Rockville. We were both opening for Chris Covert.

I get there early and listen to some of the Hokie football game. We got destroyed. I go inside and meet up with Chris and John Gilbreath (he is running the shows). I set up my camera, and just have a good hang. Nick Deez shows up at well since he is doing a guest spot.

There is a super small crowd. It is incredibly loud. There is no ac in the back room so there is a huge fan going, and the garage door is open. It is so dark you can’t see the tiny crowd so crowd work isn’t really an option. I tell John I need to get to a show at Buskey I am closing out after so to light me at 18.

John and Nick go up and both do ok. Honestly this crowd wasn’t giving anybody much. I went up next and I hated it. One of the least fun times I have ever had on stage. I tried crowd work, and when they laughed I couldn’t hear it over the fan. I couldn’t see their faces so I couldn’t even pretend they were laughing. It was brutal. I kept waiting for the light, but it felt like it never came. Some of my jokes worked. The big pops I could hear, but everything else (which was most of it) got nothing. I’d give this set an F.

I got off stage and saw that he never lit me, and I had just done 25. So now I was in a rush. I hopped in my car and headed downtown.

I got to Buskey in the middle of Beau Troxclair’s set. He was next to last. So I had about 3 minutes to get myself together before I had to go up. I didn’t make a set list. I am trying to be even more in the moment. I don’t want to look over at a list. I want to have a rotating list of bits in my head, and just go with what I want on these shows.

I went up and had a blast. I had the exact opposite of the set earlier. I could see people, it wasn’t loud, and it was packed. I am so glad I set my camera up. I did a bunch of new. I am proud that each show I've done here I’ve done a completely new set. I close super strong, and plug the venue. This was a killer show. I’d give my set an A.

After the show I talked to the other comics. I thanks Carlton, and got some cider from the venue (since I don’t drink and drive they let me convert my drink tickets into a six pack). Afterwards a bunch of comics went to Cobra Cabana since James Muñoz was bartending. Then I headed home

9/28

The next day I was in Staunton during the Harry Potter Festival. I got to walk around and hang out. It was actually really neat to see. I watched a Quidditch match and got to see Jeyon from the Southern up there. Got to meet his kids and chilled.

The show was at Red Beard Brewing and we had a super light crowd. I was honestly worried it was going to be awful like the previous night. I made sure I did my best though. I went up and had a super fun set. I went up after Lurae, John Gilbreath and Torrey Huggins.

I pretty much did half crowd work and half my act. The crowd was into it. I got some pretty big laughs for such a small crowd. This was a much more fun show. I’d give my set a B-.

Chris Covert went up next and did about 45 minutes of music, and had a killer set. Everybody was into it and it was a truly amazing show. I then dipped out immediately because I had to head to DC the next day.

9/29

The next day I hit up Jack Gerow to ride with me to DC so I could do a storytelling show for Mark Mensh at Reliable Tavern.

We rode up and had a super fun hang. We left pretty early because the show was going to start at 6. We got up there and I was prepping to do my schoolbus story.

We get there and it is a tiny crowd. This is also a show where it is truly about storytelling so we were warned there wouldn’t be a ton of laughs.

The show starts and people are doing ok. All of the stories are interesting, but no one is really killing or getting super huge laughs. Saw Walton, Matt Deakins, Fernando Madrigal, Sandi Benton, Josh Hebert, and others were on the show.

I finally went up and got quite a few laughs. It was a good story. Mark told me afterwards it was really well done.He is such a good dude. I’d give my set a C+. That story definitely has legs, but I am not a storytelling comic so it needs work

After my set Jack and I headed back. We rocked out to Sum 41, and it was a super fun time.

9/30

Monday at the Southen I tried setting up the room a little differently. I got there early and made sure that I had the tables lined up a certain way. I then moved the chairs to try to make the show more intimate and get more people in there.

Then I grabbed dinner with a friend. It was nice to catch up before the show. After dinner I headed back and chilled with the comics. It was really nice and relaxing. It got absolutely packed. We have some new regulars and new audience members ever week. New comics are always popping up, and it is defintley super rewarding to see.

I went up kind of the in the middle and did newer stuff. My set wasn’t crazy memorable. I got some laughs, but it honestly just felt good to have that room packed again! I’d give this set a C.

After the show I walked a couple of my friends back to their cars, and then dipped out.

10/3

I took a few days off from comedy to watch some baseball with my brother (hadn’t watched a full game since dad died.) I also got to chill with my new baby niece, and my other niece. It was so much fun to hang out with them for a few days.

After hanging I headed over to do a quick spot at Penny Lane. I hadn’t been here in months,. I was stoked to go up. There was an ok crowd, and a pretty fun hang going on.

I went up and did ok. I started pretty strong and ended mediocre. I was working out some new which felt pretty good. I am proud of the material I am doing right now. I’d give this set a C-.

After my set I said some goodbyes and gave some hugs. I was exhuasted and headed home.

10/4

The next night I was in Arlington for a bachelor party. I really wanted to get up so I took the metro a couple stops to get to Summers so I could do a spot. I get there and there is a few people there. I introduce myself to the host, and have a seat.

Glenn Lawrence shows up, and so does Heather Kilburn. Then Jack Parker and Brock Hall. It feels really good to see a few people I know.

The show starts and it’s a lot of pretty inexperienced comics. I legit have never seen most of them. I guess they live in Nova and only do these mics. They’re all doing ok, but I am ready to get up on stage.

I have to ask the host several times where he is putting me (he didn’t have me on the list at comic call). He eventually puts me up like 11th.

I go up and have a fun set. My first joke doesn’t really work, but the rest kind of kill. I am pretty happy for the set. I followed a few people who bombed pretty hard, so being able to rise and get a solid set done felt great. I”d give this set a B.

I then headed back to the bachelor party to catch up with my friends. It was a super fun night.

10/5

The next day I met up with Martin Phillips and did his podcast at the Arlington library. We had a pretty good time. I think the podcast turned out good and I always love hanging with Martin.

I then headed down to Manassas to headline Public House Kitchen. Apparently they were having a huge festival. I couldn’t find anywhere close to park. I parked a ways away and then headed to meet up with the booker Andy Sanderson.

We headed to the venue and caught up with each other. We set up the room, but we were worried it wouldn’t be packed due to the festival. The other comics Molly Fratz and Cliff McGrady showed up to hang. They’re both super nice and funny.

The show starts and it is pretty full. The crowd is into it from the start. Molly had a solid set before Andy brought up Cliff. Cliff absolutely destroyed. He is a disabled comic, and he he has a way of setting a ton of tension and releasing it. He was murdering and I was so worried I couldn’t follow it.

Then it was my turn. I go up and proceeded to have one of the best sets I have ever had in my life. I start with crowd work because there was a heckling lady, and I just let her have it. I go back to her a lot during the night. It is some killer crowd work with tons of callbacks and references. After about 15 minutes I hop over to my material and that is killing too. I even got to close out trying a bunch of my dad material. The people loved it. I’d give this set an A.

After the show I hung out and talked to people a bit. Got some nice compliments and got to hang with Cliff. I think we are going to do another show pretty soon, and it is going to rule. The I headed home.

10/6

The next night I was back in Richmond closing out The Hof Garden open mic. It was a pretty chill night. A bunch of comics went up, and they didn’t do a ton of advertising. So it was an ok sized crowd, but nothing spectacular.

The cool part was most of my friends were here. I got to hang with Kenn, Anthony, Paige, Ryan Mather, and Alex amongst others. We all had fun, and they had some good sets.

I went up and I had a fun set. I got a pretty good response, and did some crowd work. I went into a heckler and it went pretty well. I then closed on dad material and I felt good about it. I’d give this set a B-.

After my set though a drunk dude came up and screamed, “booooooo” into my ears as loud as he could. He was drunk, and being a dick but this was incredibly hurtful after doing well and doing dad material. Heck the guy who heckled me even told me it was a good set. This dude was just a pos, but it put me in a bad headspace. I talked to Anthony for a while and he put it into perspective for me and I really appreciated that. I headed home and passed out.

10/7

I had felt under the weather all day. I decided even though I missed work to head to The Southern. I got to town and did a photoshoot to promote my new shirt. So I walked around the downtown mall, and got some super cute and funny pics with the three colored shirts. I started t notice I felt crappy though during this.

I went to the mic, and it was fun. It was packed which was cool too. We went ahead and set up a ton of chairs and got everybody situated which was dope. The show started and everybody did well.

I went up and did ok. I did a lot of new. Some pops, but not a ton. I didn’t bomb, but with so much new material it just didn’t hit the way I wanted it to. I’d give this set a C.

I felt pretty bad so I went home and passed out. I woke up in the middle of the night and was super sick. So I went to the doctor the next day and missed the entire week of work dealing with a horrendous virus. I had to cancel several paying gigs because I didn’t think I'd be healthy in time. This was the sickest I’ve been since college.

10/11

I had been sick all week but made myself go to set up and run my first show at Hollys Diner in Charlottesville. I had been promoting for over a month and really wanted a successful show. I was nervous and kind of bummed since my headliner bailed on me at the last minute. I understand why though. He got a better gig and took it. Which is the same thing I would have done. So I just bumped the feature (Mu Cuzzo) up to headline and gave Paige Campbell, Heather Kilburn longer spots, and added Ry Mather.

I get there and set up. I feel pretty crappy, but I am ready for the show. We actually get a pretty dope crowd. I was so surprised at the turnout for the show. I was super nervous, because I don’t have a great track record of people coming out to shows I produce.

I go up and people are pretty talkative so I assume it is going to suck. Then I just started and people started to quiet down and pay attention. The regulars at the bar were into it, and so were the people who came to the show. I did about 12 minutes and it all went really well. People were really warm-up and into it. I’d give my set a B-.

Then the show just kept getting better. Everybody did well. Ry, Heather and Paige all had super fun sets. They really made me proud and helped the show. Then Mu closed out with 30+ and he had a really super fun time.

After that Jack Gerow ran the open mic portion. I made sure to avoid the pitfall I see many people do. I didn’t differentiate between the showcase and the open mic. I just brought Jack up saying he was the host for the rest of the show. This worked great. Honestly the crowd stuck in there for the most part. Until a comic had a joke not work, and then they were like, “it’s an open mic what do you want?” Then the audience started to be less engaged. This was infuriating to watch someone derail a show like that.

The rest of the show was fine. Some people after that did really well, but now I know I have to make a rule about not mentioning it is an open mic on stage.

After the show I packed up, and walked to my car. I then headed home to finally get some rest.

10/12

I had to cancel my other weekend shows since I was sick. I then decided to go and watch and support my friend Paige headlining at College Inn. I got there and was feeling a little bit better so John Marg offered me a five minute guest spot.

I went up and did ok. I was still out of it and probably shouldn’t have performed, but most of my jokes did well. It felt good to perform, but I was definitely in no shape to travel for this weekend. I’d give this set a B.

I then hung with Paige, Sean Wells, Samantha Padgett, and Marg. I watched Paige go up and do about 25 minutes and everyone seemed to dig the show. We went to eat afterwards and I just got a coffee.

After hanging I felt miserable so I headed home to sleep. I felt so bad I couldn’t sleep and ended up passing out at about 5 am.

10/13

I was still feeling rough, but way better so I went to do the live podcast Booze Clues at Hof Garden. I got to do this podcast because I won the comedy smackdown contest the previous month.

This podcast is people just taking turns talking about different stories in the news involving alcohol. This month’s they were all from Florida so we were supposed to dress like Florida man.

So I dressed up and headed to the show. It was a super light crowd, and they were kind of drunk and rowdy. I told myself I was just going to have fun on the podcast. Which is what I did. I had mine together the most. I was able to riff and get some big laughs. I did my best and was super proud of how it went. I’d give it a B.

I left immediately to get a good night’s sleep because I wasn’t missing work the next day, and I was going to watch the Cardinals play the Nationals. My brother got us tickets to honor dad at the last minute.

10/16

That Wednesday I was getting to host the open mic at Isley. I was kind of nervous because this show has really been hit or miss. I had a bunch of pre-sign ups so I was going to run it super tight.

There was a light crowd, but they were into it and ended up staying the whole time. I went up and did some new, and riffed a bit. It was a fine set I’d give it a C. I then started bringing people up.

I had some fun riffs in between comics, and we were busting balls, and just having a great time. I brought Paige up as his first time doing comedy and he had fun pretending to be super nervous.

This show ended up being super fun even with the small crowd. I said my goodbyes and headed to Home Sweet Home.

I get there and Kusterer has me going up second. I got to chill and hang with a bunch of people and there was an actual crowd upstairs. He got the show started late because there was a Washington Capitals game on.

After the game the show started and Jason went up. After him Carlton K had a set, and he set me up pretty well to riff on his stuff and do new material.

I went up and busted his balls, and tried all new stuff. I had a few new jokes that worked really well. I also had a few bomb completely. This was a fun and productive set. I leaned in super hard making a joke about Heather Heyer. I don’t know why I leaned in, but I was just having a good time. I’d give this set a B-.

I headed straight home to rest again as soon as this was done.

10/17

The next night I was headlining at North America Sake. I invited a few friends and once I got there I saw there wasn’t a huge crowd. I didn’t even set up my camera because I was still out of it a little from being sick.

But I was able to grab a bunch of mochi ice cream to eat. I assumed that was what I was going to get paid in. I had a fun meal with Samantha Padgett, Heather Kilburn, David Luzader, and Chris Alan.

The show starts and it is a light crowd, but people are into it. Everybody goes up and does pretty well. Since Chris is headlining later in the week I am the one closing out and I have to follow him. He does a bunch of crowd work and has a good set. I am nervous. I think he is super hard to follow and I didn’t feel like working that hard.

So I go up and it goes way better than I expected. I did about 33 minutes and had a blast. I worked through some of my dad material and did a bunch of new stuff. It just made me happy to be able to not only follow Chris, but be able to keep people’s attention in a small crowd, and just have fun. I’d give this set a B After this I talked to some friends, and gave a friend a ride back to their car before heading out and passing out.

10/18

After work I headed to Lovingston to headline the first comedy show at The Lovingston Cafe. My friend Colby Knight was running the show. It was going to be him, Jake Snyder, and then me. This was to be followed by an open mic.

I headed there right after work and stopped in Charlottesville to grab dinner with a friend and get a few pictures taken. After eating I headed straight to Lovingston. Which is between Lynchburg and Charlottesville. There’s like nothing going on there.

I go inside and not many people are there, but the stage looks cool. There is a long bar on the side and a raised stage at the front. I’d say by the time the show started there was like 16 drunk people there.

Colby goes up and does a pretty good job warming them up. They are laughing and actually paying attention. After this Jake goes up and has one of the better sets I have seen him have. He really had them hooked with his material from the beginning.

Then I went up and had an absolute blast. I had to work my ass off. I wish I had recorded because I had some really fun crowd work and my material was working. I did close to 30 minutes and I'd say about 20 was crowd work and about 10 of material. They dug me, and I was able to read people really well. We honestly had the best time. The people who run the cafe also are part owners of Fallout. So they were super happy with how it went. I’d give my set a B+.

Afterwards I left pretty quickly after saying goodbye. I wanted to get a good night’s rest, and just enjoying being at home.

10/19

My plan’s had been cancelled this night so I got to hop on and do a guest spot for Chris at The Southern during his headlining show. It was going to be a super fun night.

Chris was headlining, TJ Ferguson was featuring, Paige and I were doing guest spots and JR was hosting. There was a good little crowd and I had some friends from work come up to check out the show which was awesome.

They sat in the front and the show started. JR and Paige both had pretty good sets, but they weren’t the best crowd. They were kind of wack, and nobody could get them to crack. I went up and it was pretty much the same. I opened strong and then switched to new like an idiot and just didn’t close well. I’d give my set a D.

Chris went up and killed thought which was dope to see. He did a lot of crowd work, and really ripped into my friends who were in the front row. The video turned out super good, and I am glad I have it.

After the show I hung for a bit, but I was extremely sleepy. I walked to my car and headed home to pass out. I woke up the next day with a text message from Paige. They saw a homeless lady wearing my t-shirt. It was pretty awesome, and made my day. She said she got it because it was so cute.

10/20

I decided to hop in and do a mic last minute at Brewer’s Cafe in Manchester. I got there and there was like no audience. The only comics were Remo, Melissa Harris, Soo Ra (a New York comic on a layover), Mark Viola ( an Orlando comic passing through) and myself. Then there were about 4 people who come to all of these shows to hang out.

Remo started the show. He did as well as he could. He was just working out ideas. Some of it was funny, but it was mostly just conversation as he tried to find the funny in all of his new bits.

He then brought me up and it was just me talking to black people for 15 minutes. I tried a few ideas and got some laughs. Then I asked the audience about what their thoughts about Bill Cosby, and R. Kelly was. We had a good discussion, and it helped me with a lot of bits, but I was not getting a ton of laughs. I was trying to work this stuff out. It was super productive but I hated my set so I’d give it a D-.

The rest of the comics went up and did as well as expected. A few more people showed up, and it was honestly a lot of fun. I didn’t feel bad in the moment because everyone was bombing. I was glad to have figured some jokes out. I have felt really disorganized lately, and I need to work on that.

I headed to a friend’s and passed out immediately.

10/22

There was no Southern Monday so I had the day off. The next day was Paige’s birthday. So I decided to get a group together to do an episode of The Winstmas Games where he got to pick his favorite games and contestants and play.

We went over to Brandon Beswick’s house and had a super fun time. He made dinner and Alex, Paige, Taylor, Brandon, and I did a super fun episode of the podcast.

Paige, Alex, and I then headed to Fallout. I asked to go early so I could get some sleep. There was a few people here, but not a crazy amount. They weren’t super into the show, but Jesse Jarvis was hosting and he did a super dope job as always.

Before the show started I got to hang with some friends and have a little fun. I am doing this new stupid bit that involves me flossing (not on stage, and yes the dance). It is so dumb and gets people every time. So it’s a blast.

Jarvis then called me up. I did ok. I got some pretty good laughs, and got to work on a lot of new stuff. It was a super productive and fun set. I’d give this one a B-.

Before leaving I talked to the owner’s of Lovingston Cafe. They were still super happy with the show and invited me back which was super nice.

10/23

I was so excited that I was getting to headline in Lynchburg at Speakertree records. Apparently the last show they did was awesome. So after work I headed straight up there.

I get there and no one is there. Just the host Jake Snyder. The room looks absolutely amazing. I get all my merch ready to sell. I roll them up and put them in a bad. I take my camera and tripod in as well.

I set everything up and wait for people to get there. No one ever really shows up. The show was Jake, Paige, Brandon, and myself. Then there was an open mic afterwards. The only audience members who weren’t performing were a girl’s bf, and a random girl who saw it on FB.

the other comics were a girl named Paige, a dude named Skylar (who showed up 10 minutes into my set), and John Marg. I am super bummed that no one shows up, but the hang before hand is dope and I got a super cute pic of me.

The show starts and it is low energy, but we are all having fun. Everyone there is friends, and we are trying new stuff and busting balls. Jake, Paige, and Barndon all did well. I am always impressed with people that can just do their material in the face of no one being at a show. I don’t have enough confidence in my material to ever do that.

Then it is my turn. I start with some crowd work and riff on the room. I get some good laughs and then I start talking to the girl who isn’t performing. Her name is Hannah and we have a super fun time. She says she is from Liberty, but she likes comedy.

I did about 30+ minutes of newish material. They seem to dig it. I have some solid riffs and try some material I have never really done before. I am definitely happy with how it went, but it didn’t feel crazy good the whole time. I’d give it a C.

After this I stuck around for the open mic to support Jake. I then talk to the new comics a bit, and thank Hannah for being a good sport. I then drove straight home. I got to have a dope conversation with my buddy Alex which made it fly by. He was at the DC Improv and I was so proud of him.

10/24

The next night I just hopped into Penny Lane after hanging with some friends. I asked to go up early and James Muñoz let me.

Nothing too crazy happened here. There was a group of white supremecists who did not know comedy was going to be happening. James did his set, and they started to close out their tabs.

He brought me up and I proceeded to just bomb doing my new jokes for 7 minutes. I was just loud, performative, and enunciated for the 4 people that were actually there to see comedy. During my set all the white supremacists left. So I think I was just a buffer to clear them out. I’d give this set an F. I didn’t stick around long at all and headed home.

10/25

All of my shows got cancelled this weekend. This sucked because it was the second weekend in a row where some paying stuff got cancelled. I was super bummed. I was going to just go watch the show at Buskey, but when I hit up Carlton he said some people had bailed and asked if I wanted to do a spot on the show. I said absolutely.

So I hung out with a friend, got dinner, went to the circuit, and headed to Buskey. I got to chill with all of my friends at the show. It was actually a fun hang. Jack Johnston, Jack Parker, Taylor Baldwin, Will Minor, Carlton, Mu, and Kusterer were all there.

It was a lighter crowd than usual but it was definitely a solid crowd. They were into the show. I went up third. First was Will Minor and Carlton had made a hat for him that made him look like the Buskey Cider logo.

Then Jack Johnston went up and had a really solid set. It was good to see. I was very proud. Then it was my turn.

I went up and a dude had heckled Carlton so I busted his balls about that. I kept calling back to the dude, and had a super fun set. I did mostly newer stuff, but a few older things. This is the best room in the city and I felt good about my set. I’d give it a B.

After my set I saw there were some people from work who recognized me. They said hey, and it was cool to be recognized even though I haven’t really talked to them before. I then hung out in the back and chilled with my friends.

After the show some of us went to Hof Garden. By that time Taylor O’Sullivan had showed up so we walked over there, and had a drink on the rooftop. It was a super fun time. I was super tired so I drove my friend home, and then headed back.

10/27

I wanted to do a quick set after hanging out with my nieces. I headed over to Tastys. I asked to go first. There wasn’t anyone really there and the music was going. So I went up and bombed my dong off for 6 minutes. I legit got like no laughs at all. It was brutal. I’d give it an F.

10/28

This was going to be a super fun show at The Southern. I had decided to make it a Halloween show. So people cold wear costumes and at the end of the show Chris would pick, and then they would win free tickets to The Winstmas Games.

I got to the show incredibly early and set it up. I made sure we had enough seats for everybody since it has been packed lately. I was wearing my Calvin and Hobbes costume and I was so excited to get this show going. A lot of the comics dressed up which was dope.

The show started and the crowd was weird. The only things they really laughed at were jokes about costumes. So some people did really well and some bombed super hard. I was the latter.

I went up and did completely new material. Like stuff I’d never done before. It did not go great. The only stuff that killed was me riffing about being Calvin. It was a lot of fun, but it was also kind of frustrating. I felt terrible after this set. I’d give it an F.

It was one of those shows where it didn’t matter that I bombed. I got to hang with my friends and that was so awesome. Everyone looked great and the crowd really dug when Paige did a set as Mario. His set was the set of the night.

I grabbed all of my stuff and sold a t-shirt to a friend. Found out that Chris had lost his shirt and that is where the homeless woman got it. So that is how we solved that mystery. All in all a great time.

10/29

There was no show today. I just did my podcast with Paige, Jack Johnston, Jack Parker, and Ry Mather. We had a really fun time. We got into a good discussion about comedy by the end of the show. It was a super good podcast. I then headed home.

OMG folks that’s it. I am caught up. I will be back now. I’ve been depressed, but I haven’t forgotten. I got sick a week and it just threw me off. But I love you laydees so much for sticking it out and supporting #cutecomedy. We will keep it up. LOVE Y’ALL xoxo

#comedy #jokes #standup #hilarious #halloween #scary #spooky #dc #rva #virginia #improv #bombing #heckler

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andrebearakovsky · 8 years ago

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My Top Caps Moments of the Regular Season

Alright, people. Throughout the season I published 3 versions of my Caps top 10 favorite moments. Now that the regular season is over, I put all those moments and more into one big comprehensive top moments of the season post. Enjoy.

30. Every shutout (10/18/16 vs COL, 11/18/16 vs DET, 12/11/16 vs VAN, 12/23/16 vs TBL, 1/5/17 vs CBJ, 1/7/17 at OTT, 1/13/17 vs CHI, 1/15/17 vs PHI, 2/5/17 vs LAK, 2/7/17 vs CAR, 3/2/17 vs NJD, 4/5/17 vs NYR)

We have been #blessed by our goalies this season. When all was said and done, Holts and Grubi gave us twelve shutouts. Good god. Holts had 9 and Grubi had 3. This was incredibly impressive, and resulted in a Jennings Trophy.

29. Every Andre Burakovsky goal (10/13/16 at PIT x2, 12/21/16 at PHI, 12/27/16 at NYI, 1/5/17 vs CBJ, 1/15/17 vs PHI, 1/16/17 at PIT, 1/19/17 at STL, 1/21/17 at DAL, 1/26/17 at NJD, 2/4/17 at MTL, 4/2/17 at CBJ)

We all love Andre and Andre loves us. How do I know this? Because he’s scored so many goals. Look at him he’s such a cute happy lil bean when he scores. Every goal is a treasure. Unfortunately he was sidelined with an injury for far too long, else I feel he could have scored many more.

28. Every TJ Oshie shootout goal (10/13/16 at PIT, 12/16/16 at CAR, 12/21/16 at PHI, 3/23/17 vs CBJ)

Caps = not good in shootouts (winning 2 out of 7). Oshie = good in shootouts (scoring 4 out of 6 times). I love Shootout King TJ Oshie, and every goal is a thing of beauty. He even decided to give us an encore of the 2014 Olympics.

27. Every shorthanded goal (11/11/16 at CHI, 11/16/16 vs PIT, 12/29/16 vs NJD, 1/16/17 at PIT, 2/11/17 vs ANA)

Personally, I think shorthanded goals are more exciting than power play goals. They don’t happen as often, and it shifts momentum in your favor. Our PK is so awesome they scored a big handful of them. Also, 2/5 of our shorties came against Pittsburgh so that makes them extra special.

26. Every OT winner (11/3/16 vs WPG, 11/11/16 at CHI, 12/5/16 vs BUF, 12/7/16 vs BOS, 1/3/17 vs TOR, 1/21/17 at DAL, 3/4/17 vs PHI, 3/28/17 at MIN)

I really love OT winners, they’re incredibly exciting. All told, we had a grand total of 8 OT winners this year, and we had a number of different OT heroes. Go check em out.

25. Garrett Mitchell’s NHL Debut (4/9/17 vs FLA) (x)

We had a number of players make their NHL debuts throughout the season, but this one was special. Garrett Mitchell has been on the Hershey Bears for 6 years, and he is currently the captain. On the last day of the season, the Caps decided to reward him for his hard work in the organization by calling him up to make his NHL debut and play in one game. And to make things even better, Nicklas Backstrom purposely got kicked out of the faceoff circle so that Mitchell could take the opening faceoff. Cue the waterworks.

24. Breaking the streak (1/5/17 vs CBJ)

Fun fact: I was actually at this game. The photo above is of me and a sign I made, which got on TV and then subsequently was everywhere (NHL Network, On the Fly, RMNB, the NHL twitter account). That game was so much fun to be at. The boys were super motivated and they crushed the Jackets. Everyone was on their A-game and they killed that winning streak. In the arena near the end of the game we chanted “kill the streak,” and that entire game was electric and awesome.

23. Dmitry Orlov’s sweet goal against Pittsburgh (11/16/16 vs PIT)

Orlov got his first goal of the year in a rout against Pittsburgh, and he celebrated by plowing over a Penguin and bodyslamming the glass.

22. Dmitry Orlov’s sweet pass to Evgeny Kuznetsov (11/23/16 vs STL)

The Russian brothers roared into the zone and Orlov slid a fantastic pass to Kuzy for a tap home. It’s pretty sweet, just watch it.

21. All of the times Andre Burakovsky scored the first goal of the game (1/15/17 vs PHI, 1/16/17 at PIT, 1/19/17 at STL, 1/21/17 at DAL)

I love my boy so much. Earlier in the year my boy got into a stretch where he really wanted to be the first one to score a goal. So much so that he was the first goal scorer in four straight games. I’m so proud of him look at him go. Go look at all his goals they’re all so beautiful.

20. Dmitry Orlov’s hit on Smith (4/5/17 vs NYR)

The Rangers looked like they were getting a breakaway, but Orlov stopped that real quick with a big thump. Not nearly as devastating as some of his other hits, this was still pretty fun to watch.

19. Alex Ovechkin goes on a warpath and hits 4 leafs (4/4/17 at TOR)

I don’t know exactly what got into Ovi this game; maybe he had a premonition we’d face the leafs in the first round and decided to send a message. Either way, Ovi was a man on a mission: he delivered two checks to Zaitsev, a thump to Kadri, and absolutely crushed Brown. It was a delight.

18. Jay Beagle goal against Detroit (11/18/16 vs DET)

In a game during which the Caps lost Oshie, Burakovsky, and Eller to injury and the Caps were rotating 9 forwards, we were saved by Jay Beagle yet again. After a tense affair, salvation came very late in the game when Beagle shoveled home the game’s only goal (on his knees), and got a bear hug from Tom Wilson as a reward.

17. TJ Oshie poppin’ bottles (2/5/17 vs LAK)

It took everyone a minute to realize that not only had Oshie scored, but had knocked the top off the goalie’s water bottle. Visual of the year.

16. Brooks Orpik’s fight against Steve Ott (2/18/17 at DET)

Brooks Orpik, in by far his best moment of the year, absolutely friggin pummeled Steve Ott, and it was awesome.

15. The amazing Ovi-Oshie-Nicky passing sequence (1/13/17 vs CHI)

The Caps put their passing on display during their long win streak with some fantastic puck movement from the top line. #BestLineinHockey

14. The Karl Alzner slapshot (feat. a Justin Williams breakaway) (1/1/17 vs OTT)

A Karl Alzner goal? A Karl Alzner goal. He doesn’t score much, but when he does, he does it with a bang. Literally. Starting with a great stretch pass from Carlson, a breakaway and scoring chance from Williams, a scrum and a pass by Oshie, and ultimately ending with the hardest slapshot I’ve ever seen from Karl Alzner that left me with the biggest look of shock on my face and left the players with nothing but smiles. Seriously, look at Alzner and Carlson.

13. Alex Ovechkin’s fake-slapshot to Matt Niskanen (1/15/17 vs PHI)

Ovi fooled the entire world when he didn’t take the slapshot but instead passed to Matt Niskanen, giving him an open net. Even my parents were in awe of this one. Ovi made this goalie look absolutely foolish and executed one of the best plays of the year.

12. Evgeny Kuznetsov’s ridiculous goal in Montreal (1/9/17 at MTL)

I do not exaggerate when I say that Kuzy saved my life with this goal. When I was watching this game I was having a crap day, and he scored to put the Caps up. What a beautiful classic Kuzy goal.

11. Tom Wilson’s fight against Brett Ritchie in Dallas (1/21/17 at DAL)

Who but Tom Wilson? Willy had himself a nice fight in Dallas. Actually, it wasn’t anywhere near Willy’s best right, but he still bloodied up this guy’s entire face and it was amazing. Not to mention this spurred a later Winnik fight and Beags considering getting into a fight to make it a whole line thing.

10. TJ Oshie’s shootout goal that wasn’t actually in the shootout (2/1/17 vs BOS)

Oh my LAWD. TJ Oshie, the master of the shootout, got a nice pass from Backstrom and a breakaway and forgot that it was regulation time and not the shootout. He made Tuukka Rask look absolutely silly and I cried ‘cause it was beautiful.

9. Philipp Grubauer’s ridiculous save against Tyler Seguin (1/21/17 at DAL)

Holy frickin cow Grubauer absolutely robbed Tyler Seguin in arguably the best save of the entire year. My jaw dropped so hard, Grubi saved my life with this save.

8. Jakub Vrana’s first NHL goal (12/9/16 at BUF)

Baby V scored his first ever goal in Buffalo on the power play. Jakub Vrana is such a cutie, and one of these days he’s going to be a goal-scoring machine. I was so happy when he got his first in the big leagues. To this date he still has yet to score a goal that’s not a power play goal.

7. Zach Sanford’s first NHL goal (2/11/17 vs ANA)

God bless our sweet young giraffe. I rooted for him so hard in his first stint, but he just couldn’t break through. Turns out he couldn’t have picked a better time to get that first career goal. He put the Caps up late in an incredibly exciting game, and I think I might have cried actual tears of joy. And now he’s gone. I miss him so so much and I hope the Blues are treating him well. He’s doing really well in St. Louis so I’m happy for him but I also miss him a lot.

6. Alex Ovechkin’s hat trick against the Wild (3/28/17 at MIN)

Ovi has scored a ridiculous amount of hat tricks in his career (17 + 1 in the playoffs), but this time he did something he’d never done before: he scored all three goals on the power play. So here he is, terrorizing Dubnyk yet again.

5. TJ Oshie’s hat trick against the Lightning (3/18/17 at TBL)

TJ Oshie scored two goals early and then threw an alley-oop shot to the empty net to finish the hat trick. It was his first official hat trick as a Cap (cause evidently playoff hat tricks don’t count in official stats).

4. Alex Ovechkin’s hat trick against the Blues (11/23/16 vs STL)

Ovi really loves to score hat tricks against the Blues. All three of these goals were absolutely beautiful, and it was the only hat trick of the year that happened at home, so it gets bonus points.

3. The Dmitry Orlov hit on Matt Duchene (10/18/16 vs COL)

I AM STILL NOT OVER THIS HIT. I WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS HIT. This is the best damn hit I have ever seen. Matt Duchene was fuckin launched into orbit. Matt Duchene is yet to have landed. Everytime I think about this hit I can’t stop smiling because it is THAT GOOD. I think about this hit every damn day of my life. When we played the Avs the second time I was more excited about seeing replays of this hit than I was about actually playing the Avs.

2. Nicklas Backstrom’s 500th assist (1/7/17 at OTT)

I have lots of love for Nicklas Backstrom, the light of my life. He got his 500th career assist, the most in Caps history (and also the first Cap to ever do that of course). He doesn’t get nearly enough recognition for what he does, but on this night he did. You can just see the glee on Ovi’s face. You go, Nick Backstrom. Let the NHL know why we love you so much.

1. Alex Ovechkin’s 1000th point (1/11/17 vs PIT)

Really, how could this not be number 1? I almost cried when I saw it was in the stars for Ovi to get his 1000th point at home against the Penguins. And he did it in under a minute. Holy cow I love Alex Ovechkin and it’s an honor to be watching a legend.

I know I didn’t get everything. I know I missed some pretty goals, some nice saves, some good hits and fights; I know there was one 4-minute PK we had at home that was really sweet that I missed. But we can’t have everything. And now, ladies and gents, we wait for the playoffs.

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patienceish · 4 years ago

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who: patience lopez-pierce & mason lynn (and theo bieste for a hot minute) what: the birth of their song when: may 29, 2020 where: starts at prom, ends at the hospital tagged: @mason-lynn @tj-beiste

if there was one thing patience had looked forward to the most, it was prom. after a surprise pregnancy, the fear of losing her scholarship, and lots of controversy about her and mason, she needed this night. and it was nice to get away and just be with mason. and it was nice to be on an actual date. prom night was considered a date right? that's what she was going with. patience stepped away from the refreshment table and made her way over to mason. "okay, i just heard from one of the varsity softball girls that we're apparently getting married and moving to england so we can raise the baby near the queen. shit's getting ridiculous."

Mason never every thought in his life thought this was how life was gonna turn out. Of course every teenager can’t wait for prom, but now he was at prom with his nine month pregnant girlfriend who could probably have their son anytime now. As he was getting punch, which tasted spiked but he wasn’t going to say anything, he saw his girlfriend walk up to him and he just tried to focus. “Wait so we are going to England?”

"no. england is out of the picture. we just moved into our house, i'm not doing it again," she said. "did you and darius get the crib put together, by the way? i was knocked out and i haven't been in the nursery today," she said as she leaned against him gently.

“But England would be so much cooler and well it’s England.” Mason kept his arm around her shoulder as he felt her move closer to him. “Yeah we finished it. He seemed quieter the usual today so I don’t know what’s up with him. Is that all we needed done?”

"cooler yes, but i'm not about that life," she said. "he might be distracted. if it goes on much longer, i'll talk to him and see what's up. yeah, the crib was the last thing. i'll get his bedding put on tomorrow."

“But Europe would be cool though. We would be able to travel so much and Paris is there. London, Germany. It’s an idea,” he chuckled as he took a sip of his drink. I could have just done that today. You’re killing me.”

"who's gonna make the money to travel to all those places? And with a baby," she said. "We were busy getting ready for prom today. It can wait."

"all i am saying is it would be super cool to go, but we have time and the nfl does play in england so who knows we could go up there." mason continued to drink out of his cup and just shrugged at her about the whole getting ready for prom thing. "thats all you. he is your brother."

"it would be nice to travel. But let's think about that when the time comes," she said before wincing and holding his arm to keep her balance.

“So like four years,” he smirked and just looked at her. His face changed when he saw her wincing though and he knew something was up. Tipsy or not

"that's still pretty far away, we got time." She let out a slow breath and stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Okay I have to tell you something but don't freak out."

“Four years? That’s like right around the corner, but sure.” Mason heard her take a breathe and looked back at her but when she said don’t freak out he freaked out inside. Tipsy or not he was freaking out. “Yeah sure what’s up? You wanna have sex somewhere?”

patience's brows furrowed. "what? no! sex is the last thing on my mind right now," she said. "i'm having a contraction."

“Isn’t that the shit in English? Why can’t we have sex though? I mean it’s prom night and that’s usually what happens,” he mumbled as his hands ran up and down her arms.

"dumb ass," she muttered. "never mind mason. we're not having sex though. there are definitely no comfortable positions i can get in standing up."

"it's prom night though. this is the night we can totally lose it all again," he smirked against her cheek and grabbed her hand. "we just had sex the other night and you were totally okay with every single position we tried, but we can try when we get home even though i may have whisky dick."

"lose all what? my virginity? i promise that's not something you can have a second chance at," she said. "yeah. in bed. not at school against an unsturdy surface."

"we can totally pretend," he smirked once again and placed his hand on her breast. "but fine we can wait till we get home and do whatever you want me to do to you. how long is this thing anyway? we don't have to be here all night do we?"

"don't do that, if i start leaking i'm stealing your jacket," she said. "it's only for a few hours. it's pretty much over, this is ju ---" patience was interrupted by a gush of water rushing down her legs, making her gasp. "...oh, shit."

"not like i'll ever wear this again," he chuckled and shrugged before taking his hand off her breast and looking down. "what the fuck the fuck just happened? did that just come out of you? like all that just came out of you?" mason wasn't even sure what was going on. he was drinking and he was thinking that maybe he split his cup, but it was still half full. "uhmm."

"yeah, it came from me, my fucking water just broke," she said.

“What the Fuck is that even supposed to mean. Your water in your hand looks just fine.” Mason turned the light that was on his phone on and looked at her cup trying to figure it out. “Nope no holes. You’re all good.”

"oh my god, how did your parents raise such an idiot," she muttered. "my water broke, mason. it means i'm in labor, the baby is coming."

“I’ve never asked my parents how the process of birth goes because well I never thought I would have kids.” Mason just looked at her and finished his drink before spitting it back in his cup. “Wait like right now?! The baby is coming now?”

"and you didn't think to ask when i told you i was pregnant?" patience held on to his arm to keep herself steady. "yes! right now! baby is moving down, he's not waiting for us. we need to go. now."

Theo’s night had quickly tumbled down from the best case scenario to worst. He needed to get out of McKinley and figure out his game plan. As he moved through the gym, looking for his jacket, he came across a slightly distressed looking Patience and Mason. “Yo,” he called out to them, not thinking much of it as he approached, “you guys good? No fighting, it’s prom night.” He clearly was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the giant puddle at Patience’s feet.

"watch where you step!" she said, holding her arm out. "my water just broke."

"yeah i uhh guess her water broke and well she said that the baby was coming," he mumbled as he finished his drink. he was in no condition to drive and he wasn't even sure how he was going to do this. " theo as much as i know you don't wanna leave you gotta drive. i didn't think that she would actually do this here and well again not the best case for me right now."

"stop drinking, you're already faded," she said, taking the cup from him. "you can come back if you want to, but mason can't drive and i don't fit behind the wheel anymore."

“Fuck,” Theo breathed out, looking down at the water on the ground and then back up confusedly at Patience and Mason. “Right,” he started, “right, okay. Like now? You mean now. Okay. Let’s go,” he was definitely freaking out a little, but Theo knew how to act in a crisis...well, not really, but he tried. “My car is parked outside. Do you need help Patience?” he asked, instinctively putting an arm around her waist to offer support. “Do /you/ need help, Lynn? Come on, dude. You’re about to be a father, let’s go,” Theo added, guiding P out of the gymnasium and expecting Mason to follow.

"i'm good, dude." mason looked at both of them and shook his head before throwing his cup away. if he would have known that this was going to happen he would have calmed down on the drinking, but since it was prom he was just going to drink. that was going to be his plan for the night, but their son had other plans. mason watched theo help the girl out and he quickly followed while trying to to lose his balance.

Theo gave Mason a quick nod as he continued moving through the halls of McKinley at a quickened pace. Once they got outside, T fished his keys out of his pocket and used his fob to unlock the car from a distance. “Mason, go open the passengers side and back the seat up for Patience,” he instructed, tapping his friend on the shoulder and urging him to get a move on. “You good?” he asked, now looking at his very pregnant friend who was basically waddling.

mason was just nodding at was going on. of course we wanted to help, but he could only do so much right now and he was just freaking out inside. he couldn't do much without wanting to freak and probably cry because he was not believing was was going on. it was overdramatic, yeah, but at the same time it was someone who never wanted a kid and two someone who was about to be a dad prom night. once he opened the door he grabbed his girlfriend and just helped her as much as he could.

"one of you go find a chaperone and ask them to find a janitor so nobody slips, no one wants to slip in amniotic water," she said as she climbed into the car. "and hurry."

"I got it," Theo said, leaving Patience with Mason and running back into the school to quickly tell someone to clean up the mess. He took a second to pause and gather his bearings as well, shooting Lemon a text to tell her what was going on and that he'd just meet her at the after party. He then made his way back out to the car and hopped in the driver's side. "You good?" he asked Patience before he said, "Mason, get in, let's go," putting the keys in the ignition and starting up his truck.

"i'd be better if my uterus wasn't trying to shrivel up on me," she said as she let out a small breath and leaned against the window.

“That’s gross,” he mumbled as he got into the backseat and pulled his phone out. “I’ll have to text my family and yours as soon as we figure out what’s going on.” Mason couldn’t believe what was about to happen and honestly he felt like he needed a drink. “Theo i owe you.”

As soon as everyone was buckled in, Theo revved up the engine and pulled out of his parking spot. Luckily for them, he had a habit of speeding, but still maintaining control of the car. A little reckless, but he figured the sooner they got to the hospital, the better. "You don't owe me dude, I gotchu," he said to Mason, doing his best to keep his eyes on the road and not stare at a /very/ pregnant Patience that was quite literally about to pop. "Do you guys need me to do anything? I'm going to drop you at the hospital, but do you want me to call anyone or tell anyone to come through?"

“I’m fucking starving but I’ll have my mom bring me something. You go have fun and drink more for me.” Mason hated that he wasn’t gonna drink at a party but he also knew that he had to be here. “I’ll text my family but if you see them let them know.”

"go the speed limit, you still get pulled over for speeding with pregnant women in the car," she said, resting her forehead on mason's shoulder. "fuck i hate you right now," she whined as she gripped the seat.

"Okay, sorry," Theo muttered, but he had no intention of going the speed limit. He tried, but his instinct was to press down on the gas further. "Patience are you okay? Do you need water?" he asked, a bit of panic rising in his throat, "Mason, I think I have a water bottle back there."

"save that for the bedroom," he smirked as he let his fingers run through her hair. "uhm where would you have water? under the seat?" mason wasn't even sure where to even look right now and with the girl sounding like she was actually going to kill him he was even scared to do anything.

"no i don't need water, i need to get to a hospital. safely," she said. she'd broken her arm in three places and had bone splinters that felt ten million times better than the pain she was experiencing at the moment. and she knew it would only get more painful. "i want my mom," she said with a small sob.

Theo was at a red light, his left leg trembling anxiously as he glanced back at Patience and Mason. "Fuck, fuck," he muttered to himself, debating running the red light but ultimately opting to not. Finally it turned green and he stepped on the gas again. The hospital was less than ten minutes away. "Mason, call her fucking mom," Theo ordered, like it was obvious.

"which mom!?" mason yelled out trying to figure out what to even do now. he was so confused, lost and scared right now. he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to do and honestly now he was even more scared about this dad thing. "i don't even have their numbers, dude!"

"BOTH OF THEM!" she said, tossing her phone in his lap. "nine months, mason. nine months of this and you still don't have their fucking numbers?"

"I have their numbers," Theo exclaimed in a panic, grabbing his phone from the cup holder and tossing it back to Mason as he continued to drive, "Just fucking call them, dude." Theo had dated Bella for a while, so it made sense why he had them.

"i never talk to your moms though. i don't know what i would even say if i had their numbers," he said as he grabbed whatever phone was near him. mason had texted both of them and just hoped they would be up there as soon as they were in a room. "are you okay," he asked as he turned to the girl.

"you need their numbers exactly for reasons like this! emergencies and babies!" she said before she let out a small grunt. "you have contraction after contraction and tell me if you're okay."

Just as things were getting tense in the back seat, Theo pulled into the emergency area of the hospital. He rolled down his window as a doctor approached. "Pregnant teen in the back with her slightly unstable boyfriend," Theo told her breathlessly, putting his car in park and jumping out of the vehicle to help Patience out.

"wait i'm stable. what the hell," he mumbled as he got out as well. he had no idea what to do and he was just going to follow. they had no clothes and nothing for the baby. he just figured he was going to call his mom and have her stop by their place.

"someone spiked the punch at prom, he's not mentally unstable," she said, scooting over to the door before pausing. "hold on, gimme a minute, i can't move."

Theo made his way to Patience's door and opened it, holding out his hand to help her out. "You good?" he asked Mason, patiently waiting until P felt comfortable enough to start moving. "Yo Doc, can you help?" Theo asked, urging the doctor over to assist with getting Patience out of the truck.

"i'm having a contraction and my vagina feels like it's being pried open by a hot poker stick from hell," she said. "okay, i need everyone to calm the fuck down, i just need a minute for it to pass and i'll be fine."

"that's why it tasted so good," he said with a confused look on his face, but soon focused on what as going on. he wasn't sure how long this was going to take, but now he was wishing he brought some with him. mason just watched people help her out, but all he could hear was her getting aggravated.

once the contraction passed, she let out a small breath of relief and finally relaxed enough to scoot further to the door. "just don't tug on me. i don't need a lead, i just need someone to hold on to."

mason grabbed his jacket out of the car and closed the door. he wasn't sure how long he was gonna be here for, but he was just hoping someone would bring him clothes because he wasn't going to wear this all night. "patience, you need to let them wheel you in. we will get in there quicker and maybe have him out faster."

"i didn't say i wouldn't use a wheelchair, i said i don't want anybody pulling on me to make me move faster," she said.

"well i don't know," he mumbled as he helped her sit down. "i'll meet you in there. i gotta make sure everything is out of theo's car." he said as he kissed her and turned around and waited till she was gone. "i owe you sooo much, dude."

"i'll text my crew once i get inside and settled. i'll have one of them run to the house and grab the hospital bag and the diaper bag, clothes for us, water and aspirin for your drunk ass..." she said, sitting down carefully. "listen to me. you're gonna go to labor and delivery. if you don't know where it is, ask for directions, do not try to find it yourself if you're confused. you'll get lost."

"jokes on you i am going to get lost everywhere i go and i am not that drunk. it's not my fault that someone spiked the fucking punch. how was i supposed to know that someone did that?" mason just looked at her up and down and just couldn't believe it. "i'll meet you there."

"joke's on me. everything's on me, i'm the one going through torture," she said. "don't be long, please, i don't wanna be in there by myself. i don't trust doctors. be quick about it," she said as they wheeled her into the hospital.

"theo i owe you everything dude. when we get time to actually have people over or i can go out and do things i am buying you drinks and driving you home," he chuckled. "or you can come over get hammered and sleep on the couch. whatever you want."

Theo watched their interaction with a grin. They were really about to be parents. “I gotchu dude, for real,” Theo said, patting Mason on the back as he fished everything he needed out of his car. “And you mama,” T joked, squeezing Patience’s shoulder as she got settled into the wheelchair a doctor brought over. “Just hit me up if you need anything,” he told the adamantly, moving to the driver’s side and getting back into the car.

"after the whole baby thing is over, i'd appreciate it if you could drive my truck over. it's got the carseat in it."

"i'll text you and let you know," he smiled as he watched theo get in his truck. mason soon walked into the hospital and just looked around. part of him was scared and the other part just wanted to think before everything happened. he was just hoping that this would go smooth and he wouldn't be down on the ground.

as patience was wheeled down hallway after hallway, she cried the entire time because fuck contractions. they were quick about getting her out of her prom dress, which she threatened to cut whoever tried to cut it off of her, getting her into a hospital gown, and getting her into a bed, but time could not have gone by any slower.

mason walked around but knew he had to go into the room and try not to pass out. he was weak in the stomach already stuff like that, but he had to be there. this was his kid and this was his girlfriend. there was no turning back now. he had to do this. "hey how are you feeling," he smiled as he walked in the room.

"like a watermelon's trying to rip through my body," she sniffled. "and mad at my brothers... kind of irritated with bella, but at least she's coming up here."

"i would say that's hot, but i would be lying," he chuckled. "you'll be fine and they'll be here later. it was prom and they all had plans. i am sure they will make sure everything will work out so they can do all the things they wanted."

"who cares about later, mason? i'm in labor now. this is my first baby, i'm scared! i need my family here with me for support," her voice cracked.

"patience, i promise you'll be okay. your parents will be here and that's all you need. i honestly don't mind it just us in this room because this is our first time and our first kid. i wanna share this with you. i wanna share this with my family and that's you and our little man in there," he said as he grabbed her hand.

"it's not about who's in the room, it's about who's here to be here for me, and i know i'm hormonal and emotional, but why are other people more important than your family? if bella was having a baby, or the boys were having one, i don't care what i'm doing or who i'm with, i'm at least going to be in the waiting room for support and to make sure i know what's going on. what if shit hits the fan? what if something bad happens? what if there's complications with the baby? i know i act tough, but in situations where i'm scared and vulnerable i need to know i can count on my family," she sniffled. "it's like... i'm not important, the baby's not important. that hurts, mason..."

mason understood where she was coming from, but again he would doing the same thing right now. he would be out partying and drinking, but he had to be here because this was his baby. honestly he was okay with no one being in the room because it gave them time to understand everything going on and it gave him the time to know and see what the girl needed. "i know you're scared, but i'm here and your moms will be here. we will have our little boy and we will do this together."

"i'm just... like, i get it --- i have friends that i'm there for. but if my siblings were having a baby, i'm sorry but my friend will have to wait. family is family. like, why couldn't they just come up here with them? stay in the waiting room? and i have nothing against these girls, i'm just... disappointed that family didn't come first."

"i know and i get it, but i promise you that we will do all this and they will be here. i promise you that, patience. i promise you that all of this will go right. we have our little family here and right now that's all that matters to me," he smiled softly and kissed the top of her head.

“It would just be nice to feel like they’re supportive and actually want to be here... Bella’s here. She wanted to see if she won prom princess but she left as soon as that was over,” she said, resting her head against the pillow. “This has been one hell of a night.”

“Well your brother was preforming and your other brother is sleeping with Alexis or something like that,” he shrugged. “Everything will be okay though,” he said as he let his fingers continue to move through her hair. “As soon as he’s born you won’t even care.”

"no. gray said he'd just finished his set. he can't be here because winnie needs a ride home. so take her home and come back here. how hard is that? and darius... it's nice to know that a friend is more important. i know i'm dramatic babe, but family is family and family comes first during big moments like these, and that's just... it's painful," she sniffled as tears slid down her cheeks when she blinked. "god, i hope that's soon, i have so much pressure right now i'm trying my hardest not to push."

“I guess it’s different for me then. I mean I know what you’re saying, but at the same time it’s kinda of like I like us just in here because I’m gonna get the one on one time without anyone trying to see what’s going on after he’s born. I know they won’t happen with everyone here,” he said as he wiped her eye and smiled softly. “If you have to push then push.”

"i didn't want them in the room during delivery, i just thought they'd be here for me as moral support and it would have been nice if they'd shown an interest in meeting him," she said. "i can't, they haven't said i could or not, i don't know how having a baby works," she said with a small sob.

"gimme just a minute to get a few more things set up and we'll get this show going," the doctor said.

Mason understand why she was upset and he didn’t blame her, but he knew her siblings were still wanting to be teenagers and party after prom. He knew they would be here in the morning and he knew her moms would be there though. He honestly just wanted the parents there first and then all their siblings, but he wasn’t going to go any further anymore. He just gonna leave it here. “We will be okay. You’ll be okay and then once we see that little boy you will forget everything.

“I want this over with, I can’t do pain, I wanna go home,” her voice cracked.

“We can start when moms ready to push,” the doctor said.

"same though so the faster we do this the faster we can get out of here whenever they let us," he chuckled as he pushed her hair back. "i am sure he is going to come right out."

“You’re already crowning so let’s take a deep breath and push as hard and long as you can,” the doctor said.

Patience breathed in as much as she could and pushed, gripping the handle on the bed.

"what the fuck is happening," he mumbled as he looked, but regretted it when he looked over. "oh my god what the fuck is going on." mason tried to hide his gagging when he saw what was going on.

“That’s the baby’s head, she’s doing good,” the doctor said.

Patience let her breath go and breathed heavily. “I can’t do it, it hurts please make it stop,” she said letting out a sob.

mason just wanted throw up right now. this was something he never wanted to see. he was scared shitless now and listening to all this just made him sicker. he didn't know what to do and there ere no parents because mason wanted this to be them and the baby, but now he regretted not having them in here. "there is a head. you gotta keep going," he mumbled as he just tried holding everything in.

“Once the head is out it’s gonna get easier. Push again,” the doctor said.

Patience took another breath and pushed, letting out a sob.

mason continued to just try and help the girl as much as he could, but this was something he never imagined in his life. "holy fucking shit," he mumbled as he just watched everyone gather around. he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, but he knew that he had to try and just relax or everything would be worse.

“Okay take a breather for a minute, we’ve got the head out,” the doctor said.

“Oh thank god,” patience said. “Am I done? Please tell me I’m done.”

“Not yet. Does dad wanna do the rest of delivery?”

Mason wasn’t sure how to react to anything being said to him right now. He honestly wasn’t even sure where to put his hands, but he had to say something quick before he passed out from all of this. “Uhm I think I’ll let you finish. She needs my support.”

“You said you wanted to two weeks ago, what happened to that?” Patience asked

“I uh saw a lot more then I thought and I’m just gonna stand here until he’s out. I don’t think I can really look down there,” he mumbled to himself.

“You didn’t have a problem with it when we were making him.”

“That’s was a lot different then this. I see everything and everything coming out. I’m gonna pass,” he said as he let his fingers run through her hair.

“We’ll have dad cut the cord instead, it’s a little scary seeing what’s going on on this end,” the doctor said. “Who’s ready to have a baby?”

“I want him out, please get him out, I’m dying,” patience whined.

“A little?” Mason shook his head and looked over at patience and just couldn’t believe what was going on. “I can uhm do that, but I’m not trained to deliver anything except maybe a winning drive.”

"it's normal to be a little freaked out," the doctor said. "alright, go ahead and start pushing and you'll see your baby."

patience took a breath and pushed, holding her hand out for mason's hand.

mason just looked at the girl laying on the bed and now that this was happening he could see why his parents were the way they were with him. they were preparing them for this, but he this was more then he could ever imagine. "what the hell," he mumbled.

"you're doing good, keep it up," the doctor said.

patience let her breath out, but took another and pushed again until she felt a pop, which made her let out a small scream. "ow! ow, ow, ow, i can't do it," she said with a sob.

"okay pretend i got really drunk and you are trying to chase me. you are running your hardest," he chuckled as he pushed her hair back. "you went through nine months of this and now we are at the end. one good push and you are done."

"why would i run after you if you were drunk, there's a chance of you falling and drowning in the pond because you'd forget to breathe," she aid with a small sob. "it hurts, i don't wanna do it anymore..."

"if you can give me one more really hard, long push, the pain will be over with. i know this is scary and it hurts, but it's almost over," the doctor said.

"what are you saying?" mason was confused and wasn't understanding what she was saying, but he wasn't gonna do much. "i am in the house running and i know how to swim so that makes no sense," he chuckled. "you gotta have one big one."

"i'm saying you're dumb when you're drunk and you'd do something dumb like drown in the pond," she said. "what if i can't do it? i already suck at being a mom," she whined.

"you can do it. just take the deepest breath you've got and push as hard as you can. one more push, that's all it's gonna take," the doctor said.

"i am not that dumb, but okay thanks," he mumbled. "you have one more push though. that's all you need and that's all you have for this beautiful child to come out, baby. all your hard work these nine months. everything you did will be here with one push."

"are you ready to meet your son?" the doctor asked, which patience nodded to. "alright. one more big push. go."

patience took a deep breath and pushed as hard as she could, which only lasted for a few seconds until the sound of a screaming baby caught her attention.

mason just watched as the doctors pull the little boy out and he couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him right now. their son who they have been waiting for. a baby they never planned on but who he knew who he was going to be in love with. seeing the little boy had changed everything in his mind and he just couldn't believe it now. "oh my god."

patience let out a sob as the doctor laid the baby up on her gown, resting her hand on the baby's back to prevent him from falling. "oh my god, he's here," her voice cracked.

"he's beautiful," he mumbled and just watched the little boy just lay there on patience's chest. he still couldn't believe that he was real. he was there in front of them, finally with them. "he looks just like you. he is here now and it was all worth it. i do not regret any of this at all."

patience ran her hand over the baby's head gently. "he's so fat," she said, kissing her son's head as he continued to cry. "all those people that said we were making a mistake can fuck themselves. this little big guy isn't a mistake at all."

"he doesn't even look like he would be that fat," he chuckled. his fingers running up and down his back as he just watched him sleeping on her chest. "i kind of ignored them, but i knew he was going to be one of the best things i have ever done in my life."

"he's perfect. there's no way he's fitting in his take home outfit though," she said.

"is dad ready to cut the cord?" the doctor asked.

"is dad ready to do what?" mason looked back and forth and was just trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. this was all so new and all so unreal to the point where he felt like he was in a dream. the doctor handed him scissors and he just looked at them in fear. "so i cut that?"

"cut between the clamps," the doctor said.

“But won’t that hurt the baby,” he asked. “That’s like super close and that just looks painful.” Mason placed the scissors between the clamps and closed his eyes as he cut the cord.

"don't close your eyes! what if you cut him?" patience said.

"it doesn't hurt, there's no circulation to this part of the cord," the doctor said. "it's like clipping our fingernails."

Mason just hurried up and cut the cord before Patience yelled at him for closing his eyes. This was all so nerve wracking and he was just ready to sit down with the baby and look at his features. “Is that all I need to to do?”

"that's all. i'm gonna take him for a few minutes to clean him up and get his stats and vitals and his footprint for his birth certificate," the doctor said.

"behave yourself, don't pee on anyone, okay?" patience said, kissing his head before letting the doctor pick him up.

"does dad wanna kiss him real quick before i take off with him?"

Mason nodded his head and held the little boys hand for a second. He didn’t want him to leave the room but he knew they had to. He got maybe a second with him and that wasn’t enough but once they get him back and patience falls asleep he wasn’t going to leave his arms. “Be good,” he chuckled as he kissed the little boy’s forehead.

"i'll give him right back. gimme fifteen minutes tops and we'll get skin-to-skin time and get him fed, he's just gonna be right over here in our incubator to get him warmed up while we clean him up" the doctor said, carrying him over to the incubator

“Take your time, sir.” Mason say down on the chair next to the bed and just watched them with the baby. There wasn’t much to do and he didn’t think that patience would enjoy him playing on his phone right now. “How are you feeling?”

"sore," she said. "but so happy it's over, i'd rather be split in half or whacked with an axe lizzie borden style than ever have to feel that pain again."

“Well lucky for you I’m good with one kid,” he chuckled. “I’m good with my future NFL player and his size he’s gonna he a damn tight end if he gets tall. He was eating good inside you though.”

“That’s cause I was eating good, I eat all day,” she said. “I don’t know how women with bigger babies handle it, that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.”

“You did good though,” he smiled as he pushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. “He’s so beautiful and I can’t wait to see more of him. He’s already got his moms lungs,” he chuckled.

"i do have good ass lungs," she said. She looked over to the baby when she heard him squawk and start screaming. "what's wrong with him?"

"he's just a little mad because i took a blood sample, he's alright. we're almost done with him and you can do skin to skin and feed him," the doctor said.

Mason just couldn’t believe what happened. He saw everything in his life change just like that. This person who pretty much started into nothing grow into a full blown human. A person who needed him and patience for every little thing until he was an adult himself. “He’s just wow,” he mumbled as he walked over to where the baby was and just watched everything.

"he's just fucking big," patience said.

"ten pounds, ten ounces," the doctor said.

“He’s wow,” he mumbled as just continued to watch the little boy and watch the doctors. “He’s huge. He’s so fucking handsome,” he said with a small tear in his eye.

"twenty-one inches long," the doctor said as she put a diaper on the baby. "does dad wanna hold him for skin to skin until we're ready for mom?"

#mason #theo #benny #okay so it ends at a really awkward place bc we just stopped replying in the discord lmao

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thrashermaxey · 6 years ago

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Ramblings: Bean/Zykov Recalled; Turris Injury; Palat Update; Early Peripherals – November 26

There was a welcome sight at Tampa’s gameday skate as Ondrej Palat joined the team. While he didn’t play in the game, it appears it’ll be just a matter of days before he returns.

The real question is what they do to the lineup. Going into Sunday’s game, the Lightning had scored four of five. Brayden Point’s line is humming along and the third line of Killorn-Cirelli-Joseph has been arguably the best third line in the league this year. It looks like one of Ondrej Palat or JT Miller could end up on the fourth line as Miller was earlier this season. Keep your eyes peeled on practice.

Without Viktor Arvidsson, without PK Subban, and now without Kyle Turris, that is what Nashville is up against right now as the team’s second-line centre was sent to the IR. Austin Watson was moved up to the top line with a second line of Fiala-Jarnkrok-Smith showing up.

There was a trade brewing between the Coyotes and Blackhawks very late Friday night (I'm writing this at midnight). It seemed to involve Dylan Strome and Nick Schmaltz, per Elliotte Friedman. Look for a full breakdown in the morning.

Carolina recalled defenceman Jake Bean and forward Valentin Zykov.

People will be focused on Bean but for fantasy relevance, I’m not sure there’s much here. There are many, many defencemen ahead of him in the pecking order for any sort of ice time. His time will come, there just won’t be much of it right now.

The more interesting name for fantasy is Zykov. He had seen some top PP minutes at time before his demotion. Does he play in the top-9? Does he get PP minutes? We’ll see. They’re looking for scoring and Zykov has 35 goals in his last 68 AHL games. Maybe he can bring some.

The Los Angeles Kings have recalled Michael Amadio because Carl Hagelin has been moved to the injured reserve with a groin injury. Hagelin, having recently been traded for Tanner Pearson, had two assists in five games with the Kings.

Not sure there’s much fantasy relevance here, though the same could be said for most of the Los Angeles roster. Maybe Amadio shows something this time around?

Ducks defenceman Josh Mahura was sent down to the minors. It had been a decent stint for him with one PP assist, six shots, and six blocked shots in three games.

It’s a numbers game for the Ducks with their defence corps slowly getting healthy. Dynasty owners will have to wait another year (or a couple more injuries) before Mahura gets some consistent time with the big club.

Not much of note happened in the 6-1 drubbing for Calgary over Arizona on Sunday afternoon except for head coach Bill Peters. Calgary’s bench boss took a puck to the chin (literally) during the second period of the game. Tough guy that he is, he returned.

Both Mark Jankowski and Noah Hanifin scored a pair of goals in the game, the latter his first two of the year. TJ Brodie added his second goal of the season (to go with his assist) with Sean Monahan marking the other.

Mike Smith stopped 28 of 29 in the win, his first victory in over three weeks.

Tampa Bay laid the wood to New Jersey 5-1 largely thanks to the two-goal, three-point night from Brayden Point. Tyler Johnson also scored, giving him 10 goals on the year in just 23 games. He is shooting over 20 percent, though, so be wary of this level maintaining itself. If he can crack 30 goals it’ll be a very successful season.

This makes four regulation losses in five games for the Devils. The offence hasn’t been a huge issue in this slide – they still have 13 goals – but the lines were in a blender for much of the game as the team was clawing out of a big deficit early. Don’t be surprised to see new lines in their next practice, and that’ll be crucial for Nico Hischier’s value.

Nick Bonino had a huge hand in the Nashville 4-2 win on Sunday night. He had a goal and an assist, his first multi-point effort of the season. He’s now on a 40-point pace for the season. That adds some nice depth scoring the team has lacked in recent years. Austin Watson scored a hat trick, including one PP goal and one empty-netter. Don’t add him to your fantasy rosters.

Ondrej Kase was moved to the second line with Jakob Silfverberg being promoted to the top line for Anaheim. Though Kase scored for the Ducks, that’s a hit to his value as long as he remains off the top PP unit. Being on Getzlaf’s line is where he wants to be to maximize production potential in the fantasy game.

Kevin Fiala had an assist in the game but notably, he had four shots on goal. That makes 19 shots in his last six games. His shot rate had plummeted early in the year compared to last year as he managed just 1.7 shots per game through the team’s first 18 games. That is not nearly good enough. The goals haven’t started to come yet but if he keeps shooting like this and can earn back his ice time, they will. And they’ll come in bunches. Those in 12-team leagues or deeper should stash him on the bench if there is room and no need of the spot immediately.

Update on the late game in the morning.

We’re a couple days shy of being eight weeks into the NHL season. There is always going to be lots of talk about hot/cold starts, buy high/sell low players, emerging players, and so on. Sometimes we need to just take a step back and appreciate the game while informing our decisions in the future.

I thought I would go throw some interesting quirks through the first 25-ish games to start the season. This is all as of Sunday afternoon. Data from Corsica and Natural Stat Trick.

The Vegas Fourth Line

It’s not very often we talk about fourth lines. The last one to get much notoriety might have been the Merlot Line in Boston during the 2011 Cup run. These guys typically play 10-12 minutes a night, don’t score very often, and frequently have some sort of hybrid energy/physicality role.

Some of those things are true about the Vegas fourth line of William Carrier, Ryan Reaves, and Pierre-Edouard Bellemare. Not scoring isn’t one of them as they sit with 2.06 goals per 60 minutes together at 5v5. That’s not a high number in general, but it’s just fine for a fourth line, and they are currently enjoying a higher scoring rate than the old Wheeler-Scheifele-Connor trio, teammates Marchessault-Karlsson-Smith, and the typical Nashville second line of Fiala-Turris-Smith. Whenever you can get a fourth line to outscore lines of that stature for any stretch like we’ve seen for the first 20-ish games, it’s a huge bonus for the team.

It’s not smoke and mirrors, either, as among 47 line combinations with 100 5v5 minutes together, they sit 16th with 2.92 expected goals per 60 minutes, sandwiched between the second lines for Columbus and Montreal. Individually, Will Carrier is second in the league in individual expected goals per 60 minutes behind Carolina rookie Andrei Svechnikov.

With their hit totals, Ryan Reaves and William Carrier both deserve attention in leagues that count hits, especially the former as he’s garnering some PP minutes. That they’re playing so well together only means they should stick together and not be healthy scratched.

Tkachuk-White-Stone

Lines have been in flux for the Ottawa Senators all year. There have been injuries, call ups, and general under-performance defensively being the reason. The line of Brady Tkachuk, Colin White, and Mark Stone haven’t played a lot together (just under 50 minutes), but when those three have been healthy since Tkachuk’s return, they’ve been skating together.

They’ve been good together, controlling 53 percent of the shots and 75 percent of the goals on the ice in their small sample. The quirk isn’t that they’re playing well, the quirk is how they’re playing.

The Sens as a team are on the ice for 121.3 shot attempts for and against (combined) per 60 minutes at 5v5, the third-highest paced team. When Tkachuk-Stone-White are on the ice, that pace plummets to 94.8. For reference on how slow that pace is, the slowest-paced team this year is the Dallas Stars at 108.3. A clearly talented line skating for the third-fastest paced team in the league is 14.3 percent slower than the lowest-paced team.

This is important for fantasy for two reasons. First, a slow pace offensively usually means a tough time scoring goals. Now, not all lines are created equal. We’ve seen slow-paced lines on fast-paced teams have a lot of success – they’re not slower with the same severity as Ottawa’s line, but the old Scheifele-Wheeler-Connor line played at a very slow pace last year. They seemed to do alright, but all three players are gifted offensively, especially Wheeler and Scheifele. Can we say the same about Ottawa? Maybe in a year or two, but I don’t feel comfortable saying that right now.

The second reason this is important is because the Sens are a favourite team to pick on. Playing DFS? Stack against Ottawa. Playing season-long? Stream players playing against Ottawa. They’re porous defensively at even strength and on the PK. That line, however, is not. So just freely picking on Ottawa isn’t really viable anymore. We need to be aware of who will be matched against that line, because they are good, even if they aren’t firing/allowing shots all the time.

Shots, Hits, and Blocked Shots

There are three peripherals that are very common both in season-long and daily fantasy hockey. Let’s look at pairs of combinations here and the weirdness therein: shots and hits, shots and blocked shots, hits and blocked shots.

Shots and Hits

Since Yahoo! did away with penalty minutes in the fantasy game, replacing them with hits, physicality is even more important. Shots and hits account for a good amount of peripheral counting in Yahoo! standard leagues.

The league leader in shots+hits per game? The aforementioned William Carrier at 6.88. He slightly edges out Alex Ovechkin at 6.87 with Micheal Ferland in third place at 6.39. They’re the only players over 6.00:

Two quirks here. First, the only defenceman in the top-10 is Rasmus Ristolainen. He’s always been a peripheral monster but the success of the team and introduction of Rasmus Dahlin hasn’t been able to slow that done. The second quirk is clearly Carrier. He leads the entire league in shots+hits per game and is doing so while playing 10:25 per game. For comparison, Ovechkin plays over 10 more minutes per game than Carrier, and yet trails in shots+hits per game. It’s astounding what the Vegas fourth liner is doing.

Shots and Blocked Shots

Keeping track of shots and blocked shots is very important for those playing daily fantasy hockey. They help build a floor upon which lineups are made. Those not keeping track are likely re-depositing after two weeks.

The introduction of blocked shots naturally means more defencemen near the top than when including just hits, and in fact we have just two forwards in the top-10 for shots+blocked shots. One of those names may surprise some people:

Over the summer, I wrote how Tyler Seguin can help in the hits category, which would be a benefit with Yahoo!’s new setup. I didn’t not anticipate him being more prevalent for shot blocking, though. He’s sitting with 15 through 24 games. Not a huge total, but he needs just 13 more to set the second-highest mark of his career and is on pace for 51, which would push him over 50 for the first time in his career. Once that shooting percentage turns around, he’ll be a monster in any format.

Laine is the name that sticks out. He’s sitting with 16 blocked shots in 22 games. That is a pace for 60 blocked shots. Only 31 forwards managed at least 60 blocked shots last year. Could we see Laine score 60 and block 60?

Hits and Blocked Shots

The cornerstone of most peripheral roto leagues are hits and blocked shots. They give value to a lot of players that would otherwise have none and vary the value of upper-tier scorers who may not do everything. They add an interesting element, even if their counting is unreliable.

Unsurprisingly, there are a number of defencemen at the top of the list, with just two forwards in the top-20 and none in the top-10. Here is the latter:

Seeing Noah Juulsen’s name at the top of the list is fascinating. Remember that he’s currently dealing with a facial injury, so we won’t see him on the ice in short order, but he had been averaging two blocked shots and three hits per game, the only player in the league to do so. He had been one of just five players to average two blocks and two hits per game, let alone three. His peripheral production had been incredible.

He’s still just 21 years old and finding his way in the league. There will be growing pains. If he can come around offensively, though, with this level of peripheral production, we’re talking about a star fantasy option. There is a huge gap between where he is now and where he needs to be, but that potential is brewing.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-beanzykov-recalled-turris-injury-palat-update-early-peripherals-november-26/

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thegloober · 6 years ago

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The Incomparable Didi Gregorius [2018 Season Review]

The qualifying offer is reportedly set $17.9M this winter and it will have zero impact on the Yankees

(Getty)

In 2016, Didi Gregorius set career-best marks in runs, home runs, RBI, strikeout rate, and wRC+. In 2017, he once again set new high water marks in those metrics, to go along with a career-high 4.0 fWAR. And this time last year we were all wondering what he was capable of for an encore.

As a reminder, here is what the projection systems had to say:

Steamer: .269/.314/.436, 20 HR, 5.3% BB, 13.4% K, 566 PA

ZiPS: .267/.306/.430, 20 HR, 4.7% BB, 13.5% K, 593 PA

PECOTA: .262/.312/.411, 18 HR, 5.8% BB, 14.7% K, 636 PA

All three systems predicted a bit of regression for Gregorius, essentially predicting a return to his (still good) 2016 form. And, while that would have been disappointing, I’m sure that most of us would have accepted a solid defensive shortstop with a league-average bat. That’s not what happened, though.

The Ridiculously Hot Start

Gregorius reached base safely in his first five games, by the end of which he was slashing .444/.524/1.111 with two home runs and nine RBI. He also drew three walks in those five games, which might just be the most impressive aspect of that stretch. Well, that or his 8 RBI game against the Rays on April 3:

? He didn’t quite maintain that torrid start, but he finished April hitting .321/.427/.735 (197 wRC+) with 10 HR and more walks (18) than strikeouts (16). And when the calendar flipped to May he was tied for the major league lead in fWAR with Mookie Betts. It was amazing and surreal to watch, and I loved every single second of it.

Unfortunately…

A Ridiculously Awful May

Gregorius was as bad in May as he was good in April; and that might be underselling his badness. His slash line was .149/.184/.213, which is good for a -1 wRC+. He stopped walking and hitting for power, and he looked helpless at the plate more often than not. Gregorius’ batted ball profile shows a clear change in contact, too:

(FanGraphs)

His line-drive rate tumbled, his groundball spiked, and flyballs stopped leaving the yard. His HR/FB rate can be attributed to a simple yet aggressive bit of bad luck and/or regression to the mean – but the quality of contact was clearly not there. And at the end of May he was hitting .240/.315/.479, which isn’t all that far removed from his 2017 line of .287/.318/.478 (with way more power and walks).

The Return to Form

Gregorius closed out May with a little hot streak, reaching base in four straight games via five singles, a walk, and an HBP. And from June 1 through August 19 he raked once more, batting .292/.347/.485 with 11 HR, 7.3% walks, and 11.4% strikeouts (124 wRC+) in 289 PA. His batted ball profile basically split the difference between April and May, to the tune of 21.3% line drives, 40.9% grounders, 37.8% flyballs, and 12.6% HR/FB. That’s basically his career norms, with the exception of the still-elevated HR/FB rate, so it wasn’t difficult to say that this was probably who Gregorius is at this point.

Why the arbitrary cut-off of August 19, you ask? Well, with the news of his impending Tommy John surgery you may have forgotten that he missed nearly three weeks with a heel injury:

I still don’t know how he bruised his heel there, but I suppose that’s not terribly relevant. And, more importantly, he returned with a vengeance, batting .250/.344/.596 with 5 HR (149 wRC+) from September 7 through the end of the season. It’s worth noting that there was another injury scare mixed-in there, as torn cartilage in his wrist kept him out from for a handful of games in late-September, but he looked fine in what amounted to two tune-up games against the Red Sox to close the regular season.

All told, Gregorius hit .268/.335/.494 (121 wRC+) with 27 HR and 4.6 fWAR. If you’re keeping score at home, he once again set career-bests in runs, home runs, strikeout rate, wRC+, and fWAR, as well walks, OBP, and SLG. By FanGraphs’ reckoning he was the 8th best shortstop in the game, between Trea Turner and Jean Segura. That’s not too shabby.

The Doubly Dreadful Playoffs

Gregorius, like many Yankees, didn’t do so well in the postseason. He hit .234/.222/.294 in 19 PA, and didn’t draw a walk in five games. He was a big part of the failed comeback in the final game of the team’s season, though, hitting a single in the bottom of the 9th to give the team two on and none out. It was a disappointing ending to a brilliant season.

Of course, that wasn’t quite the end, was it? As I mentioned above, shortly after the Yankees bowed out of the playoffs we found out that Gregorius would undergo Tommy John surgery, which has an unclear recovery period. Jay Jaffe of FanGraphs found that infielders that had TJS on their throwing arms have taken anywhere from 6 to 15 months to return to the field; and one player, T.J. Rivera, hasn’t returned since having the procedure in September of last year. The mean is right around 10 months, which would put Gregorius on-track to return sometime in August. Which is … less than ideal.

What’s Next?

Of all of the players that we’re slated to review, Gregorius might be the most difficult to think about going forward.

The soon-to-be 29-year-old is a free agent after next season, and he currently lacks a timetable for return. The Yankees anticipate a return in 2019, and there are rumblings that they expect him to play the majority of the season. That seems aggressive, given what we know – but they know way more about the severity of the tear than we do, so it wouldn’t be out of the question that he could be on an expedited recovery plan. And if he could return before the midpoint of the season (say, sometime in June), it might be worth discussing short-term replacements – a return engagement with Neil Walker or signing a similarly versatile utility player (while moving Gleyber Torres to short), perhaps? – as opposed to acting as though the sky is falling.

If, however, the Yankees expect him back in August, it might be worth pursuing another full-time option in the infield. They have a ready-made replacement at short in Torres, which is great because it broadens their pool for replacements. But counting on a core player to return for 50 or so games and immediately return to form for a contending team feels irresponsible. And then there’s also the fact that he’s slated to earn over $12 MM through arbitration next year, which is a hefty figure for someone that might play less than a third of the season; a non-tender or contract extension buying out this year and a year or two of free agency might be in the cards in that case. These are not the issues that I was hoping to tackle in this review at all – but here we are.

On the none doom-and-gloom side of the equation, I do think it’s safe to say that the Gregorius of 2017 and 2018 is the real deal. So there’s that.

The qualifying offer is reportedly set $17.9M this winter and it will have zero impact on the Yankees

Source: https://bloghyped.com/the-incomparable-didi-gregorius-2018-season-review/

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yahoo-roto-arcade-blog · 6 years ago

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Closing Time: Freddy Peralta graduates

Thus far, rookie Freddy Peralta looks terrific from every angle (AP/Morry Gash)

The Brewers are in first place in the NL Central, 2.5 games clear of the Cubs. It’s a fun and highly-watchable team, a mix of names you know and names you’re getting to know.

Add Freddy Peralta to that latter group. And give Peralta his graduation papers, he’s pushed his ownership tag to the point that we can’t discuss him as a reasonable add any longer. He’s climbed over the 50-percent threshold, and the future looks bright. We’re now trying to figure out where the story is headed.

The backstory should be a review, stuff we discussed two weeks back (when he was five percent owned). Peralta is a 22-year-old rookie who’s been a strikeout ace at Triple-A and a revelation in four MLB starts. The Twins got the better of Peralta in his second turn, but he’s been a knockout in the other three appearances.

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Start with a 13-strikeout debut at Coors Field, with just one hit allowed. That’s insane. Peralta also tamed the Pirates over six scoreless innings, and Tuesday against Kansas City, it was more bagel parade (7 IP, 1 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 10 K).

Now would be a good time to run some Peralta video. Filthy is as filthy does.

Okay, no one gets a trophy for stopping the 2018 Royals, but appreciate the likely Signature Significance in front of us. Thus far 29 pitchers have managed at least two double-digit strikeout starts, and Peralta made it on just four appearances. He’s sitting on a 1.59 ERA, a 0.71 WHIP, and nine walks against 35 strikeouts over 22.2 innings. These are Wiffle Ball stats.

Of course the kid is going to eventually regress, that’s not any eureka moment. No one is this good. And the Brewers will have a clogged rotation soon enough; Zach Davies should return from the disabled list next week. Peralta’s spot in the rotation isn’t carved in stone, not yet anyway.

That said, the Brewers fancy themselves contenders (consider the Lorenzo Cain and Christian Yelich trades in the offseason), and they need to respect anyone who’s getting it done right now. And the schedule might come in handy as Craig Counsell tries to navigate the glut of pitching. Milwaukee doesn’t have an off day until the All Star Break, and there’s also a doubleheader in the second week of July. The Crew could easily decide to run with six starters, let the logjam figure itself out.

No matter what, Peralta is set to start against the Reds this weekend. Screw Harvey Day (his opponent), it’s Peralta Day. After that, Counsell has some decisions to make.

The only reasonable assumption I see is Peralta hanging around. I always consider my entire fantasy roster tradable, but I’d have to really like a Peralta offer at this moment. The upside is too tantalizing. I’m probably going to hold on with both hands and see where the ride takes us.

• I recognize many fantasy owners dream of complete domination and demolition, assembling an All-Star roster and just crushing opponents.

Hey, I have nothing against star players. Everyone needs a few. But I feel more satisfaction when I find production from a hidden or unlikely source.

Consider Gorkys Hernandez in San Francisco.

Hernandez has been around, stopping in Pittsburgh and Miami before hitting San Francisco in 2016. He played often last year, and did extremely little in 310 at-bats — a .255/.327/.326 slash, no home runs, 12 steals. The bags are nice, the average mediocre, the power nonexistent. The Giants viewed him as a disposable depth player to open the year.

Alas, Hernandez is playing often, and playing quite well. In his age-30 season, he’s apparently figured some stuff out. He has a nifty .284/.338/.482 slash over 68 games, with 10 homers (where did that come from?) and four steals. He’s batted leadoff in seven of his last 10 starts.

He was the hero in Tuesday’s 3-2 win over Colorado, with an early homer (a center-field blast) and the go-ahead walk, plating a run, in the eighth. The leash gets longer.

SFGiants fans March 2018: Why do we still have Gorkys Hernandez? June 2018: Where would we be without Gorkys Hernandez!

— Batting Stance Guy (@BattingStanceG) June 23, 2018

Hernandez was a secondary prospect in his early days, cracking the Top 100 for two major ranking sites in 2008 and 2009. But he was never slotted higher than No. 62 (Baseball America, 2009). He really can’t be called a post-hype prospect; the full hype never arrived.

Hernandez is hitting the ball harder this year, obviously a good thing. He’s also become more aggressive, perhaps hyper aggressive — his walk rate is down a speck, and his strikeout rate has spiked to 28.4 percent. Some might feel this approach will catch up to Hernandez sometime, with all the swinging strikes and out-of-zone chases. But perhaps this is a player who’s learned how to sell out for power and take advantage of it. Selective aggression can actually be an extremely valuable tool at the plate.

I don’t blame anyone who screams out “pumpkin” and doesn’t want in on Hernandez. But at some point we have to trust what’s in front of us. Over the last five weeks, he’s the No. 20 outfielder in 5×5 value. That is no longer a tiny sample size. You don’t have to put Hernandez on an extended leash, but I’m fine to see where this story goes — he’s already on a handful of my rosters.

Hernandez is still available in 92 percent of Yahoo leagues. He’s lagging far behind the ownership tags of Dexter Fowler and Bradley Zimmer, for crying out loud. Remember, we really don’t care about the name. We just want the numbers.

• The Giants closing chase didn’t clean up Tuesday, even with the 3-2 victory.

Mark Melancon worked the eighth and allowed two hits and a run. Lefty Tony Watson retired one batter, two pitches, and cleaned up the Melancon mess. Sam Dyson survived the ninth (double, walk) when D.J. LeMahieu’s sharply-hit ball turned into a game-ending double-play. To be fair, the leadoff double off Dyson was a bloop, a total fluke. But had he merely recorded one out during LeMahieu’s at-bat, the Giants probably would have summoned lefty Will Smith to face Charlie Blackmon. Dyson only threw 11-of-19 pitches for strikes, and walking Chris Iannetta is inexcusable.

How badly did you need those saves, again?

• It’s not easy to figure Detroit’s bullpen, given the team is going nowhere. But Shane Greene has struggled this week, picking up two losses and pushing his ERA over 4. That 1.27 WHIP is mediocre, too. If and when the Tigers want to try someone else, Joe Jimenez (2.65/1.04, 41 K, 9 BB) has the profile of a closer. (Of course, Jimenez was knocked around Monday, too.)

I’m also holding onto Kirby Yates in San Diego, partly for the wipeout innings and partly for the possibility that Brad Hand is traded later this summer. To be fair, the Padres could and maybe even should shop Yates, too. They’re in a rebuild, and relief pitchers are a luxury for non-contending clubs. In the meantime, look at Yates’s 2018 domination — 0.82 ERA, 0.85 WHIP, 40 whiffs against nine walks over 33 innings. He’s turned himself into a fantasy asset in medium and deep mixed leagues.

Have to figure Nick Kingham is back up with the Pirates sooner or later (Kuhl may be hurt). Kingham is at six-percent in Yahoo. Up and down first six starts, but his WHIP is under 1 and he averaged a strikeout per inning. Had a pedigree before TJ surgery. A good speculative play.

— scott pianowski (@scott_pianowski) June 27, 2018

• Whatever they did to fix Matt Carpenter, man oh man, it’s worked. Carpenter was hitting .140 as recently as May 15, but that’s when the party started. He’s on a .349/.424/.691 barrage in his last 38 games, with 33 runs, 12 homers, and 23 RBIs. (Sorry, he’s not a baserunner. But he does grab three positions in Yahoo leagues.)

Carpenter’s best game of the year came Tuesday against Cleveland, a 5-for-5 explosion with a double and two homers. Pretty heady stuff when you consider Corey Freaking Kluber started for the Tribe.

It’s likely Carpenter was playing hurt for the first few weeks of the year, and he’s also maintained a strong hard-hit profile all year. Some bad luck played into the nightmare start, sure. But no one bats .140 for six weeks without being part of the problem. The good news is that when Carpenter finally broke this slump, the signs were clear to see — he didn’t merely start collecting hits, he started ripping extra-base knocks. He batted .393 in the second half of May, with nine doubles, four homers, and a .738 slugging percentage.

Obviously not every slumping player gets a smooth landing. As I’ve said for years, everyone comes around, except when they don’t. But now we have to consider Carpenter back in the $20 and up class, especially when we factor in the three positions of eligibility. Heck, it wouldn’t be a stretch to put him on the All-Star team — his .136 OPS+ is just four points from a personal best, and he could be especially useful for the NL given his defensive versatility.

Follow the Yahoo fantasy baseball crew on Twitter: Andy Behrens, Dalton Del Don, and Scott Pianowski

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yahoo-puck-daddy-blog · 6 years ago

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What We Learned: What's next for the Capitals?

What’s next for the Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals? (Getty)

This might be the first year the dreaded Stanley Cup Hangover is actually a real hangover, but the Caps may soon have bigger problems than future liver disease.

Let’s say the salary cap ceiling for next season does go all the way up to the maxed-out level of $82 million the league is projecting. That gives Washington about $18 million to play with this summer, more or less.

Maybe it feels a bit impertinent to talk about this while the Caps celebrate in fountains and so on, but this is frankly stuff the front office should have been thinking about for the entire playoff run. “How much more does every win, every point for a pending free agent, end up costing us?”

And with 16 players already locked in for next season, having $18 million to play with is really not a bad number. You can afford to spend about $3 million per player, on average.

Most of the team’s pending free agents are either pretty close to replaceable (Jay Beagle, Alex Chiasson, Michal Kempny) or RFAs who are likely to be cheap re-ups (Madison Bowey, Devante Smith-Pelly). They’ll have a hard decision to make on Philipp Grubauer, who by the way is the same age as signed-for-next-season Pheonix Copley, but he shouldn’t be too expensive either if they want to keep him as a backup for some reason.

You can probably get all of these guys or some reasonable replacements for like $1.5 million each, which frees up plenty of money for the more expensive pieces. But Smith-Pelly’s Cup Final might be enough to convince all involved that he’s worth more than he is. That might skew things.

The problem, though, is that they have a few big personnel decisions to make. The biggest is obviously what to do about John Carlson, coming off the best year of his career by far at age 28, and due to be probably the biggest blue-line name on the UFA market.

What do you think he gets? Something in the neighborhood of $8 million until he’s 34 or 35 sounds about right, and with a season like this one you can say he earned that money the right way. But that’s certainly not the kind of money the Caps can reasonably afford to throw around, is it?

It’s more than fair to call me a John Carlson skeptic — it strikes me as hard to not-score 50 points a year behind that first power play unit — but the guy had the right “Poor Man’s PK Subban” season at the right time. The problem for Washington is that if he walks, regardless of whether it make an earnest effort to get him to stay, is that there aren’t likely to be many reasonable replacement options that it could just pull off the UFA market. That is to say, unless they make a run at RFA Jacob Trouba (which they should) if/when Carlson goes elsewhere, they’re probably going to be hitting the trade market in hopes of help, right?

The Caps have a not-great D group beyond Carlson, Matt Niskanen, and Dmitry Orlov. And as much as I like Orlov for what he is (an overpaid but good second-pairing guy) you can’t count on he and Niskanen to make up the absence, so you have to spend money here. MacLellan has plenty of it, but not exactly a lot of worthy candidates on whom to spend it. Beyond Carlson, the UFA D crop is probably headlined by, I don’t know, Toby Enstrom, who’s 33 years old. Would you want to roll the dice on Calvin de Haan or Thomas Hickey? Well, they’re both Islanders, so probably not.

It’s a real rock-and-a-hard-place scenario because there’s not really a good solution here. The Caps would understandably be thrilled to get Carlson back, but at double the salary into his mid-30s, especially as the rest of the core ages? Yeah, I’m not so sure. Maybe you can work something out via trade (and maybe that’s where Grubauer comes in?) but teams aren’t generally willing to give up top-pair defensemen in their 20s for 1b goalies. So I’m not sure where that gets you either.

The other problem for Brian MacLellan is that the team needs to re-sign Tom Wilson. We can debate what kind of value Wilson provides this club until we’ve all passed out, and that’s certainly a thing we’ve all done at points this season. But obviously a team would have to look at his contribution with some amount of skepticism just to keep the price down, right?

Then again, Wilson is one of those guys “everyone wants on their team” and he’s an RFA, so no one’s going to come in and outbid you for his services on an offer sheet. This creates a tough circumstance for the Caps because of how their forwards get paid. Lars Eller just signed a nice little “both sides win” contract for just $3.5 million (starting in 2018-19) and Wilson will certainly be looking for more than that.

TJ Oshie got $5.75 million AAV for seven years, but he was a UFA, and Wilson isn’t, which is going to depress his value. He’s also arbitration-eligible but you have to assume the Caps would be able to talk so much trash about his game and value — given that arbitrators can’t exactly make decisions based on intangibles — that Wilson would be irresponsible to go that route.

Likewise, he would be irresponsible to go short-term because he’s not likely to actually play better than he did in the regular season and playoffs. So does he “settle” for something like $4.5 million AAV for five years or something? That strikes me as an overpay, but obviously I’m a Wilson skeptic as well and it’s very likely that the Caps would feel like they did well at that price point.

Most people can agree that the Caps were approaching a crossroads with their organization anyway. Most of their big difference-makers are 30-plus (Ovechkin, Backstrom, Oshie, Niskanen) and guys like Holtby (29 in September) aren’t far behind. This Cup was a long time coming but this doesn’t seem like a team likely to repeat. Is that, too, something the organization can be realistic about?

Intellectual honesty is the best policy when running a team. While the Caps have money to spend, they might need to divorce themselves from their conceptions of what got them to the top of the league. Barring hometown discounts, it’ll be pretty easy to burn through that cap space, or spend it unwisely in pursuit of quick fixes.

The thing with cap space, though, is that you don’t have to spend it if there’s nothing worth spending it on. That’s something MacLellan would be wise to keep in mind if Carlson hits the open market.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Was it smart to give away Shea Theodore to get rid of Clayton Stoner? Well, probably not.

Arizona Coyotes: Man, imagine if Oliver Ekman-Larsson refuses to sign with them. That would be very bad, for them. Very good for the player though.

Boston Bruins: The Bruins need help up front, no question, but if they re-sign Rick Nash (ehhhhh, he’s fine as a rental) how much money do we really expect them to be able to spend?

Buffalo Sabres: The idea that they’d trade Ryan O’Reilly? Hoo boy. I truly don’t understand the logic on that one.

Calgary Flames: The Flames have a lot of problems and I’m not sure Brad Treliving can fix them all after his last two coaching hires.

Carolina Hurricanes: Talking about Andrei Svechnikov as bringing “a physical game” seems to be underselling all his other very strong qualities, but hey…

Chicago: Hell yeah, trade for Justin Faulk and Scott Darling! Do it!

Colorado Avalanche: The Avs are apparently likely to target a defender at the draft. That’s interesting.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Oh HELL yeah.

Dallas Stars:The Caps had a bunch of former Hershey Bears on their Cup-winning roster but don’t get your hopes up about that sort of thing.

Detroit Red Wings: I bet this was a great meeting.

Edmonton Oilers: This is a truly amazing take.

Florida Panthers: Poor Bobby Lu. Need guys like him winning Cups!

Los Angeles Kings: Ilya Kovalchuk met with both the Kings and Sharks in recent days and boy I would love Kovalchuk on the Sharks. That would rule.

Minnesota Wild: Say, speaking of coaches and the Wild “cutting ties” how much leash do you think Bruce Boudreau has this season? I’m not optimistic!

Montreal Canadiens: How confident are you that the Habs will screw up the No. 3 pick? Pretty confident? Yeah, me too.

Nashville Predators: Man, I know Vegas odds aren’t based on anything all that hard and fast but the Preds having worse odds to win the Cup than the Golden Knights is beyond parody.

New Jersey Devils: I mean maybe it makes sense for the Devils to trade down but they should have learned pretty quickly what legitimately good teams do to the papier-mache front they put up behind Taylor Hall last season. They’re not close to being truly competitive.

New York Islanders: The Isles might trade for a goalie around the draft. Okay, have fun out there.

New York Rangers: Interesting to me that the Rangers hired David Quinn, whose system relies so much on defenders getting up in the play, because the Rangers…. don’t have a lot of defenders who can do that.

Ottawa Senators: Just trade Karlsson to Vegas already for crying out loud!

Philadelphia Flyers: The Flyers might move on from Wayne Simmonds if he can’t bounce back next season after being hurt so much? Hey, I get it. But also: Huh?

Pittsburgh Penguins: Imagine if this team can add John Tavares this summer? C’mon man!

San Jose Sharks: A Paul Martin buyout on the way? Just goes to show that like 80 percent of all contracts that get bought out fall into the “mistake on Day 1” category. You can’t give 33-year-olds four-year deals and expect them to work out.

St. Louis Blues: Ownership is apparently opening the pursestrings a little bit, but to what end?

Tampa Bay Lightning: The Bolts as favorites to win the Cup next year just makes sense.

Toronto Maple Leafs: What do you mean by “Dubas must make splash” exactly? This is a good team that’s only going to improve through the simple aging process and by jettisoning your Roman Polaks and so on. They can’t afford to add a significant piece without having to sacrifice ELC guys next summer. Use your brain!

Vancouver Canucks: Imagine thinking the defense is the Canucks’ biggest priority this summer? Yikes.

Vegas Golden Knights: Truly can’t wait for Marc-Andre Fleury’s .909 next season.

Washington Capitals: I don’t want to say this is the “definitive” history of how the Caps got from last summer to now — I’m sure there are at least a few books already being worked on — but this is pretty damn good.

Winnipeg Jets: Make True North pay for the whole thing. C’mon.

Play of the Weekend

No more plays until September!!!!!

Gold Star Award

I’m honestly like 10 percent concerned someone from the Caps is gonna drown in a puddle this week.

Minus of the Weekend

A whole offseason to get through? This stinks!

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Week

User “BigFatCat999” had me at the subject line.

“Nashville: Karlsson

Toronto: Subban

Ottawa: Marner plus other assorted futures“

Signoff

Yes.

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)

More Stanley Cup coverage on Yahoo Sports:

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