#but it is. very detached from reality. this isn't really smth i can do and actually call cosplay. it's just putting on a wig
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daz4i · 5 months ago
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daily "i wanna get back into cosplay but i'm gonna look so bad and no one will recognize who i'm supposed to be and it's gonna fit all awkward so what's the point" time
#like excuse me for the internalized fatphobia i'm gonna deliver here#but. as nice as it is to see ppl say anyone can cosplay#if you're fat you WILL be treated differently. both in cons and online#unless your cosplay is 100% perfect and accurate and sits perfectly on you. and the character is already not too skinny#speaking from my own experience and from seeing fellow fat cosplayers in the past#bestie said we can do casual cosplay aka characters in regular clothes that they might wear#but it is. very detached from reality. this isn't really smth i can do and actually call cosplay. it's just putting on a wig#which skinny ppl can get away with but not us#i was in casts where i put a lot of effort into my costume and pics etc and barely anyone recognized it#while others in the cast did this casual cosplay sort of thing and ppl still got them. bc well they're shaped like the character ig#it's very disheartening and one of the reasons i stopped doing it really#i loved doing it but after having other bad experiences in events too it felt like the price and time aren't justified#and it always felt pointless to put in more effort when ik i won't look good in it anyway#or at least. won't look anything like the character no matter how hard i try 🥲#but now that i'm into smth with cool designs that makes me wanna get back into it#and now that i actually started planning stuff and checked prices etc#i'm once again sad abt it. which is why i'm having second thoughts. bc is it worth it#i dunno. sorry for the ramble. hope the generalization isn't hurtful i'm just giving my own view and feelings on the matter#if you're a fat cosplayer i hope no one is ever mean to you about it ever and i hope you keep doing it
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kokitschi · 2 years ago
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"like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call."
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT NOOO. but YES omg that. plays SUCH a part. he's trying SO hard to make himself completely logical and cold and calculating to help everyone without all those silly caveats. but he's HUMAN and he FEELS and he's doing this to help everyone and he feels so so bad about everything he's doing (except he's not, obviously, that's sooo dumb why would he feel bad about helping everyone? you're so dumb :/ NO HE'S NOT CRYING SHUT UP)
ohh and that SO helps him detach from everything doesn't it. he so THOROUGHLY sees himself as the antagonist because of his own guilt that he starts planning his own downfall, literally becoming his own worst enemy because he cannot let this shit continue but also he's the one doing it? and it's for the good of everyone? but that's what every villain says.
(man writes his own narrative. tsumugi who?)
(no seriously my most self-indulgent headcanon is that so much of kokichi's bullshit was completely unplanned. like they wrote the characters and some of their progression but they did NOT plan for this so every time some more crazy bullshit happens and tsumugi's got her whole "omg O_O that's so weird guys!!" schtick going it's almost COMPLETELY genuine because internally she's genuinely just going "what the fuck??? i did not sign up for this shit." layers upon layers of pretending. also it's my silly little way of letting kokichi win in my brain. because he DID confuse the mastermind. even if it was mostly just a series of inconveniences.)
anyway your brain is iconic. got me rotating.
im still not over how many crying sprites this guy has - and i also think it's pretty clear when he's fake crying and when he isn't and he certainly was crying for real after the fourth trial.
i think it's very wonderful how emotional he actually is - like, yes, he's logical, smart and he can be cold af. but he also gets happy and sad, he gets devastated and super angry, he gets annoyed and he gets proud. and sure, sometimes he does exaggerate and he lies (a lot) - but i don't think it's all lies. i think he likes to pretend like it is though. and well, what's that one quote... "he wears a mask and his face grows to fit it" or smth like that
and i think that's an important aspect - because no matter how much you tell yourself that it's just a role, a mask - in the end you're still the one doing everything. you are how you act.
and i think kokichis very self aware in this aspect. ch 4 happens and he knows, this isn't something he can come back from. he fucked up beyond repair. and while he did already believe himself to be the villain, and perhaps this was a self fulfilling prophecy of a kind, i think actually having something like basically killing two people on your conscience gives it a whole different weight.
i think he had to confront the reality at this point and i think it made him despair a bit - which then leads to the kamikaze plan. (because why does someone who was just willing to sacrifice two people for his own survival suddenly choose to basically kill himself? and trust someone else to end the game?)
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i love the hc that kokichi did genuinely derail the whole game! i think it's credible enough too, considering the absolute mess that was chapter 6.
and monokuma sometimes really seemed to have personal beef with him which to me says that he was actually getting pissed at him lol
tsumugi also seemed to be quite wary of him - though you can also interpret that as her setting him up as the antagonist ig. i think it was both.
-
my brain is very honored ♥️
i very much enjoy yours too :D
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pure-kirarin · 4 years ago
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Slow & Steady [P2] [Sabo x f!reader] (+18)
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Genre : Romance - Smut - Bestfriends to lovers General warnings : Alcohol consumption - Dark themes - Swearing - S m u t - possessiveness - Mention of ex-relationships - jealousy
A/N : This is really different from my usual writing style but I am experimenting. Please tell me your thoughts and don’t hesitate to ask to be added to the tag list :) AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/31877203?view_full_work=true
In the last chapter --  «-Enough playing now, you're going to sleep. -B-but ! This wasn't what I asked for....You're really a coward after all...You virgin... » He carried you to his room, putting you on the bed and sitting next to you. «-I'd love to prove you wrong. However, it would be better if you were in a state where you'd be able to recall how good I am. If you want me to fuck you this badly then maybe ask me when you're sober.
Part I - Part II
Part II  -Yeah yeah...Pff..You're no fun Sabo. Things were finally getting interesting ! »
He smiled seeing that you were now calmer. You started to yawn and bury your face in his pillow. He loved to see you getting so comfortable in his room. He really needed a cold shower after your little show.  -Goodnight (Y/N). I'll sleep on the couch. You can get comfortable. -Are you crazyy ? You gonna leave me alone like this ? Let's sleep together~ -Come on (Y/N), you're a big girl. You could sleep alone for one night, would you ? Translation : I don't want to spend the whole night with a semi. And you're dangerously flirty, and I have wanted you for years and now I have to abstain.
-Pleaaaase. You said looking at him with puppy eyes. He rolled his eyes placing a hand in his hair. God.damn.it.
You won again. Like every time. * * *  You opened your eyes hardly next day, feeling something hard against your thigh. You looked at the ceiling
Oh...I am not in my room...Where the fuck am I ?
you turn around only to discover the embodiment of Adonis to your side. A light beam was lighting up Sabo's face. He looked like an angel as his beauty couldn't be that of a human.
Was he always this handsome ?
You didn't know, in fact, you have never had the occasion to wake up in his bed. Wait, in his bed ? This realization came slowly as your head was still foggy from yesterday's consumption.
You looked down, the thing that was pressing against your leg was indeed :
his thing.
You frowned, blushed, pulled away, put a hand on your lips repressing an internal scream, all of this in around three seconds. You then tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was very normal for a man to experience this kind of morning unconviniences, and that Sabo was a man, after all. Even if  you have always seen him as a bestfriend, he was still a man that is capable of physical attraction.
Now that this internal monologue was done with, you felt a bit calmer, but that didn't answer your question. You got out of bed, trying to recall what happened after going in the bar. And it came back. All of it. Without any mercy for your feelings.
You wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Your only wish was to disappear which meant : calling Nami. You headed out of the house, not even having the courage to face your bestfriend.
« Namiiiii -Uh ? What's the matter ? -I fucked up. I fucked up really bad. -Oh yeah ? Tell me about it. -Wait, why do you seem excited ? -O-oh I'm not excited. Come on tell me. What else could you have possibly done ? -I asked Sabo to fuck me. -Wait what ? You could hear Vivi ask Nami about what happened and her answering « She asked Sabo to fuck her ». -Nami ! Don't go on telling everyone about this. I'm on my way. -For starters, Vivi isn't « everyone », she's my girlfriend. And I'm here waiting for you to tell me what happened. -Wait, I'll come at your place. This can't be discussed over the phone. »
You hung up on her. Ten minutes later, you were at her place. Extremely confused. Nami was painting her nails bright red on the bed while Vivi was sitting comfortably on a chair. You let your whole body weight fall on a lounge pug, tourmented.  «-So tell me how you and Sabo ended up fucking. She emphasized the last word in a way that made you almost choke on air.  -We didn't actually. Nami and Vivi both sighed in a synchronized « Ah » of disappointment. -So hmm...I don't remember clearly. I was really drunk-- well that you're aware of and...And Sabo didn't want to leave me alone so we went to his place. Ace was at Thatch's so we were alone. We hugged and he comforted me. Then I started teasing him, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I kissed him, and then I asked him to fuck me. -Wow that escalated quickly. Said Nami as she continued painting her nails.
-Well, I was heartbroken, I needed something, someone, and he was there, and you know Sabo, he's a good guy ! I don't know what's worse, the fact that I asked him to fuck me or the fact that he said no.
-Oh god I'm so so sorry
- Nami please don't make things worse for me.
-No offense, but you're so dense. Sabo has always been into you. Do you want him, or do you not ? I know that going right into a relationship after a breakup is a bad idea. But honestly it's worth giving it a shot. He's a really good guy. Try dating someone nice for once.
-I don't know, he has something unsettling about him. Like « almost too good to be true » you know ? Added Vivi.
-Ohhh~ I see. Honestly, I always thought that he was a bit prude and hella vanilla. I mean, yes, he's my best friend. But he has never talked about girls to me or about sexual stuff. So I just assumed that. I never thought that he'd be packin' like that. You said as you popped a lollipop in your mouth.
-Ah ? Was it really that impressive ? asked Nami, genuinely curious.
-Yeah. On a scale from 0 to doflamingo he's a solid eight point seventy five. (*)
-Oh gosh. I understand why you're so worked up now.
-That's really...precise. Added Vivi, a bit horrified.
(*) [ The dear reader might need this clarification ; Doflamingo was Law's uncle, he sometimes came to pick him up after uni with his luxurious lamborghini. He wore extremely tight pants that left little to the imagination. And he was most known among your clique for having a nine incher. It was a running joke wether to know if Law got his uncle's genes. Needless to say that this joke wasn't to Law's taste. Now back to our adorable Y/N. ]
-So. I really don't know what to do. I am still heartbroken. -And horny. Added the ginger. -Yeah, that too. I'm afraid of ruining our friendship. -Listen dear, said Nami as she was closing the nail polish bottle, if you're not going for it, someone else would. And trust me, that girl Koala is upping her game. She's going to steal him right in front of your eyes, just like this - and she snapped her fingers. -Oh, and then, you can forget about being « best friends ». Said Vivi adding fuel to the fire. -Yeah, once he's gonna start dating, he won't have too much time for you-- and then, that Koala girl, my god, she seems extremely possessive ! -No way, your voice was detached, trying to act is if you weren't worried, Sabo has never dated any girl before.- -Yes but he seems to get along with that girl. And to be honest, she's kinda cute.
-Nami ! Vivi pinched her forearm playfully, pretending to be jealous.
-That hurt ! And don't be jealous, you know that you're my only one~
-Hmm...I prefer that. Vivi laughed. You started caughing reclaiming for their attention.
-Attention please ! We're discussing my dick-appointment here.
-Jesus you're really annoying, (Y/N), just go for it already.
-How much did he pay you to tell me this huh ?
-What ? He didn't pay me ! You're just always getting your heart broken. I'm just trying to be a good friend.
-Say that you are trying to get rid of her~ Jokes Vivi.
-Vivi, don't expose me like this- Nami plays along while laughing.
-I hate you girls ! You say as you throw a pillow on Nami. The ginger starts complaining that you messed her Nail polish, and the whole scene metamorphosed into a pillow fight.
* * *
You spent the whole day with the girls, chit-chatting about boys and girls and playing stupid games. You felt way more comfortable now, less ashamed. However, you were surprised because you didn't get a message from your bestfriend. You wondered wether he was mad at you, it wasn't in his habits.
You decided to message Ace [click for conversation] [ (Y/N) : Heyy amigo is Sabo ok ? Did he tell u smth abt yesterday ? Ace : Ouch, your hurting my feelings, </3 Only talking to me to ask about my brother~ Yea hes okay why tho ? (Y/N) : Ooo kay. He's home ? Ace : He is. Why don't u directly text him ? (Y/N) : Don't tell him I asked. Btw I didn't forget about those 10 bucks you « borrowed » from me. Give it back.] He didn't answer. You sighed and decided to go see Sabo to settle things down. It was the first time that you were embarrassed to see your best friend. You dressed up in a black skirt and t shirt. You didn't usually pay attention to your looks when you went to hang out at Sabo's, but you were really stressed out and what the girls have said about Koala made you scared of losing him. After all, you had some abandonment issues. You had to settle this down once and forever. You arrived at the guy's place, it was an apartment not so far from your own student flat. You knocked on the door and Ace opened : -Ohhh, (Y/N), he whistles, lookin' like a girl today huh ? -What are you implying you dumbass ? Where's Sabo ? -He's in his room with Koala.- -Wait what ? Koala ? What is she doing here ? Ace raised an eyebrow then said amused ; -I don't know, go ask him yourself. -You're useless as usual. -Always so sweet. You on your period or something ? -I didn't forget about my twenty bucks by the way. -I said I'm goin' to pay you back alright ? Now go talk to Sabo. You and Ace were always teasing each other in a brotherly way, but in reality, he really cared for you, it was just your usual way of communication. But it was true that knowing that Koala was in Sabo's room put you in a bad mood. You knocked on the door with a knot in your stomach. Did they start dating ? Was Sabo interested in her ? These ideas were torturing you. But why did you care anyways ? It was none of your business. He could date whoever he wants. You opened the door but there was only Sabo relaxing on his bed, still fully clothed. « - Sabo ?-Oh, (Y/N), what brings you here ? -Why ? Do I need a reason to see my best friend ? He sits on bed looking at you. He doesn't fail to notice your cute outfit, it was different from your usual sweatpants and hoodies, the way it complemented your figure was almost too much for him. Just that sight was driving him insane, but his face didn't betray his emotions, like always, he acted friendly, not an ounce of lust in his dark ebony eyes. You took place next to him. He smelled good, you thought. The same fresh minty smell as last time. Did he always smell this good ? -(Y/N) ?Huh ? Is everything okay ? His voice seemed concerned.He cared for you. And you had those stupid immature and posessive thoughts. Get a grip of yourself, (Y/N), you thought. -Oh yea-- wasn't Koala here ? Ace told me you were with her.
You tried so hard to act like you didn't care, but he knew you like the back of his hand. But still, he played along. -Hmm..Yes. She just left. I was going out as well. He says with a sweet smile, looking at his watch. You couldn't help but make a disappointed face. -But Sabo I wanted to - I'm really sorry (Y/N), let's talk later. He ruffles your hair and you close your eyes as he does so. You felt stressed out. What happened exactly ? You felt intimidated in his presence for the first time. You wanted him to stay and talk this out. It was a bit awkward for you now. You never thought too much. As he was going out of the room you held the fabric of his coat tight in your hand ; -Sabo- -Hum ? Need me to drop you somewhere ? -N-no. You let his sleeve go, realizing what you have just done, I'll stay a bit then go back home. Don't worry about me. -Alright then. See you later ? -Yeah. See ya. ]
You looked at Sabo go away and you followed him shortly after. Meanwhile Ace was sitting on the couch and watching some movies. You went back home and was quite tormented. It wasn't the right time to worry as you had your assignments and studies to deal with. On one hand, you didn't even have the time to think of your ex boyfriend and his cheating but on the other, you felt like you were let down by Sabo. But why ? He didn't do anything. He just found himself a new friend and a potential new girlfriend.
He didn't even talk about her, but why where you so upset by him meeting her ? After all, he had the right to date just like you always did.
A few days have passed and you didn't get the chance to talk to Sabo. Your exams were getting closer and closer and you didn't feel ready.
Usually, Sabo would help you with your assignments but you were too scared to ask. You realized how much you relied on him and how he has been always there for you.
Who were you exactly to him ?
Maybe you took him for granted.
As you were on your bed looking at the ceiling and trying to collect every drop of motivation in your system to study, you heard your phone ring. It was Sabo's ringtone ! ----- Tag list : @vemuabhi @chloe-abbacchio @mwls-garden @soanywaysistartedsimping If you wanna get tagged just ask for it :)
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