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sanccharine · 2 years ago

Text

recluse | ys

pairing: author!yeosang x reporter!reader

genre: angst, drama

word count: 3.6k

warnings: none that i can think of

summary: yeosang took pleasure in his writing and was content creating his art, most of all he was sure of his freedom, unhindered by his suffocating past… that is until he agrees to an interview with you.

a/n: i actually had most of this written up as soon as the rhythm ta kingdom stage had been released, but with guerrilla expanding on the lore, i thought i'd finally finish this up :] thanks to @masterninjacow for beta reading this all those months ago. anygays, i think this is one of ateez's best albums yet, i love all the songs but cyberpunk song of the year !

Kang Yeosang was a lithe man with a sculpted face that would leave the Renaissance artisans in jealousy, for they could never capture such beauty. However, his words were what allured people; poems of great failures and stories of greater beasts captivated the masses. Yet he rarely appeared on interviews or talk shows, and sometimes even outright refused publicity to maintain his sense of mystery.

Simply put, the man was a recluse.

Kang inhaled the warm scent of lavender tea as plumes of steam blurred his glasses. He sat alone on the balcony of his manor, wallowing in the little sunlight that peeked through the clouds. April was ending, yet here the sky was with grey clouds, signalling the beginning of something dark.

Not that it affected Kang’s love for words. Even in all this gloom, he’d been penning little snippets and ideas relentlessly.

His peace only shattered when he made the grave mistake of accepting your interview.

Initially, Kang Yeosang refused to meet but was intrigued once he looked into your work and who you write for. Unfortunately, you seemed as private as himself. There was little information to be found about you but whatever he did come across captivated him. Instantly, he called you back and accepted the offer. Plus, you mentioned you had no problem travelling to meet him which really sealed the deal.

Kang Yeosang was as charming as he was mysterious.

The young man had waited for you at the entrance to his manor in a turtleneck that clung to his frame, he wore a warm but confident smile. There was no denying he was handsome… truly, an otherworldly beauty. Being painted as a recluse by many websites and writers, you’d think the man would scorn the sight of another at his home, assume that his talent with words would only extend to paper and not to conversation.

“Welcome to my humble abode, L/N,” Kang said, his voice deep yet soothing as he pushed his glasses up with his knuckles. He was kind enough to hold his hand to you as you walked up the stairs.

Humble was the understatement of the century.

Kang Yeosang’s manor, from its exterior alone, was lavish as they come. From afar, and hidden from the public eye, his house may look like any other large bungalow. Especially with how secluded it was, located miles away from the central town, with rows of trees surrounding its perimeter leading to the forest behind. Up close, you could see the fancy metal gates closing off the tediously well-kept garden with flowers you couldn't even begin to name. In the middle of the greenery, a beautiful outdoor swing seat was placed, rocking gently with the cold wind; scenery straight out of a children’s picture book. It wouldn’t be surprising to find fairies tending to the flowers, leaving pixie dust in their wake.

Reaching him at the door, you took his hand. “It’s good to see you in person, Mr Kang.”

His eyes quickly glanced over you, studying you from underneath his glasses and assessed the simple black and white ensemble you wore, the only colour present was the lining of crimson along the hem of your suit jacket. Offering you a nod in response, he gave your hand a firm squeeze and tilted his head to the door to welcome you in.

There was simply nothing humble about Kang Yeosang’s home.

The moment you stepped in, rich wood the colour of coffee flooded your vision. The floors were polished spotless, and every step you took was defined with a clear click of your heel, the sound reverberated down the smooth walls. The wallpaper was a wonderful crimson with an intricate pattern, luxurious yet not too gaudy. The decor was archaic and reminiscent, yet every corner of the room sat a lively house plant, thrumming with life in pots designed with care. The colours were hand-picked and tastefully put together, it was eccentric but cohesive.

It seemed Kang Yeosang was not only a master of words but a master of fine arts as well. His expression of his interests did not surprise you at all, you expected nothing else from the man.

“Your house is magnificent,” you said breathily because it was all too overwhelming. Slowly turning on your feet, you took in every nook and cranny of the home. When the owner only chuckled in response, you turned to catch his gaze. “No, I’m serious, Mr Kang. It’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

The sincerity flustered him that he had to look away from your piercing eyes. It was unfortunate because he quite enjoyed admiring the wonder in your face as you appraised the home he’d taken years to curate. The feeling boosted his pride, it was a giddy sensation. Perhaps, he should invite people more.

Gingerly placing his hand on your shoulder, he guided you to his office. “I have to say that you’re quite beautiful yourself,” the author said with a disarming smile.

You were right! A man who knows his way with words would know his way around people.

It was your turn to be flustered as Kang Yeosang nonchalantly moved ahead, leaving you stranded at the entrance to his office. You paused for a moment, a little startled at the compliment but you were thankful for the stop in movement because you had yet another room to take in.

Kang Yeosang’s office was nothing like the rest of his home.

The first thing you noticed was the floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, embedded into the wall, that menacingly overlooked his desk. There had to be hundreds of books, skimming through the titles, you found classics as well some unknown to you, there were some even in languages you weren’t familiar with. To your left was a quaint wooden drawer with clawed feet, atop it was a porcelain tea set painted with blue flowers and blue butterflies. Beside it, stood Kang Yeosang with his broad back to you, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he prepared you tea.

Letting him do his preparation, you turned your attention to his desk. Now, this was the surprise. His desk was a mess… or at least it was in comparison to the rest of his meticulously kept house. Ink bottles of various sizes and colours were used as paperweights to hold down many sheets of paper, some torn and crumpled up as if they'd been thrown and then retrieved from the trash. Their presence didn’t surprise you, Kang Yeosang was known to create languages, his own sets of glyphs accompanied along with the wondrous illustrations in his books. His laptop was beneath an open book filled with sticky notes, annotations, and a perfect ring of a coffee stain. Near them, there were a few more books piled up, with envelopes pressed between them, with only the red stamp visible to you.

Smiling to yourself, you finally turned to the glass cabinet on the right. This couldn’t be examined from the entrance. Carefully, you took steps forward, desiring to study every artefact you witnessed in front of you. The lowermost shelf had nothing particular of interest, there was another tea set, and a few wine glasses, no doubt to keep the author company during his lonely nights of typing away his next masterpiece. The middle shelf was the most cluttered, there were many trinkets from opera glasses to pearl necklaces to a compass. It was an odd collection of jewellery, yet just unconventional enough to be in the possession of Kang Yeosang.

Naturally, your gaze moved up towards the top most shelf, which held the most important artefact—the hourglass. You could feel the corner of your lips twitch up as you leaned in closer to study the corroded gold on the hourglass’ circular frame, not tarnished by time or the elements but by use. The stand holding up the hourglass had an inscription on it, faint and difficult to read, but you could see it.

“Collected that from an auction,” Kang Yeosang’s voice, cut sharply through your curiosity. With your hands clasped behind your back, you looked over your shoulder. Kang wore a sombre smile while clearing up his desk to place your steaming cup of tea, then he turned to look at you. “Paid quite a price to acquire it.”

“Huh, is that so?” You asked softly, turning your gaze back to the hourglass one last time. Then, your vision moved upward where a lonesome violin stood tall, a small layer of dust coating it. “Do you play, Mr Kang?”

The author sucked in his breath, before chuckling. Intrigued, you turned to him to see him shaking his head. “No, not anymore,” he said pressing his palm to his lips, studying his instrument with a steely glare.

Knowing when to drop a topic you chuckled and moved towards your seat. “Not sure how many reporters you’ve met, we are flighty creatures but flattery! Oh, it will get you everywhere, sir.” You smiled politely as you remembered his compliment from moments before.

Yeosang mimicked your smile as the two of you settled down into your respective seats opposite each other. “Just dusting off my conversation skills, makes me seem less of a recluse,” Yeosang said as you fished out a little notebook and a voice recorder from your jacket. “And please, call me Yeosang.”

“Okay, Yeosang,” you said, taking a moment to get used to his name on your lips. “I think before we begin our interview, I should start with how much I adore your work,” your compliment brought a shy smile on the author, which he tried to hide behind his palm. Setting up the recorder in the middle of the table you continued. “I’m serious, the places you write about and emotions you convey, really… they really resonated with me.”

“I’m glad, that’s really all I could ask for,” Yeosang said with his hand placed over his heart.

You nodded as you reached for your cup of tea, its scent light and floral—lavender. Not entirely familiar with its taste, you were hesitant. Gingerly swirling the drink you raised the cup to your lips, the taste was sweet and refreshing. Yeosang watched you patiently, before joining as well.

Slightly nodding, you placed the cup down and looked up at Yeosang. “Then, shall we begin?”

Yeosang thought the interview with you was pretty smooth sailing. Every question you asked was one he’d been yearning to be asked from a reporter, he found himself having a lot to say. With every question about his pieces, you also expressed your adoration, the compliments had him blushing to his ears. You observed and waited, allowed him to explain his anecdotes and expertly chimed in with jokes that had him clutching his stomach. Truly, he had never felt so at ease with another person before. Maybe it was because he was in the comfort of his home, a place where he was free, or maybe, it was you.

The pair of you had fallen into a rhythm of questions and answers, of compliments and laughter between sips of lukewarm lavender tea.

He’d gotten too comfortable.

“Do tell me, Yeosang, where do you get the inspiration?” You said in an exaggerated manner, finishing the dregs of your tea.

Yeosang only tilted his head in question as he slowly placed his cup on his desk, completely soundless.

“I don’t know how to word this but the monsters and creatures…” you took a moment to think. “It almost feels like Lewis Carroll,” you chuckled and he followed, though a bit hesitant.

“I think you just called my work literary nonsense,” Yeosang said, which earned a guffaw from you. Stifling your laughter, you shook your head as Yeosang asked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you said quietly, not looking away from the pen in your hand, tapping away on your notebook. “The cities and kingdoms, the characters and creatures, the deadly monsters—you create and bring them to life so vividly. They’re vibrant and wild and chaotic and… so free. But in all their grandeur, they stem from very real problems, painfully described in detail.” You stopped, as you finally looked up to him. “Don’t you think?”

Yeosang pushed his glasses up before folding his arms, refusing to answer your question. His face had darkened, he was aware something was wrong but he couldn’t pinpoint the issue.

“Let me rephrase,” you smiled as you placed the notebook and pen on the desk. “Your work has the recurring theme of questioning authority, of rebellion, and the pursuit of freedom—of utopia!—even dressed in fantastical creatures of a child’s imagination, those themes are clear as day.”

Yeosang gulped as you stared at him, completely unwavering. He wanted to look away, but he knew if he did, it would give him away—his body would move on its own, dragging his eyes to the hourglass seated on his glass cabinet, calling to him like a siren. His mind was reeling from his theories, he hoped he was wrong about you.

“Yeosang,” you inquired again, voice so low, he almost missed it. “Where did you draw your inspiration for your worlds.”

This was no question, it was a demand.

The warm gleam in Yeosang’s eyes had long disappeared, they were depthless and cold as his forgotten cup of lavender tea. Either you were aware of his rising terror and pressed on with your line of inquiry, or you simply didn’t care because Yeosang couldn’t get a read on you for the life of him. Your gaze flitted to his hands, which had fallen to his chair’s armrests, the leather creaking under his white-knuckled grip.

“I think you should stop recording—”

“Why, is everything okay?” You asked the words of genuine worry but your voice and face indicated no signs that you were actually concerned. When you leaned forward, Yeosang flinched back, before noticing his mistake.

Ignoring his previous fault, Yeosang touched his temple. “Sorry, I’m just tired. I’d like to wrap this up soon please.”

“Of course,” you said, with none of your witty charms. Yeosang would’ve felt bad were he not worried for his life. “Could I ask one last question though? Please?”

Yeosang was gritting his teeth beneath his pursed lips, feeling the way were grinding against each other as he pressed his back to his chair, wanting to get away from you, as far as possible. Though he nodded, feeling generous but mostly hoping you’d leave as soon as you ask your last question. With bated breath, he watched you for any sign to trust the alarms ringing in his head.

Then you glanced up at the hourglass in his glass cabinet.

“Y/N, I think you should leave,” Yeosang said in the calmest voice he could manage. You opened your mouth to protest but he wasn’t having it. “Now.”

“I travelled a really really long way to be here, Yeosang. Please be a little courteous, it’s just one more question,” your voice was so soft, so kind, and filled with honeyed words yet Yeosang couldn’t stop feeling like he was being threatened. “Listen—”

“Leave now—!”

Before Yeosang could stand up, power surged from you and Yeosang was thrown back onto his chair. A dry cough escaped his throat as his wrists fell to the armrests, leather shredding into strips before binding him to the chair. The strip of leather glowed a faint red, highlighting glyphs awfully similar to those in Yeosang’s books before disappearing completely.

Yeosang’s mouth was agape in horror as you finally let yourself relax into your chair, before grabbing your notebook and pen again. With your back digging into the chair and legs stretched out, you asked with a lazy smile. “Tell me, what gave me away?”

Yeosang only glared at you, before turning to the hourglass.

“Ah, the Cromer,” you nodded, turning to it as well. “You always were a bit slow, Kang Yeosang. Funny, since everyone just eats up your words.”

Yeosang didn’t grace your taunts with a response, instead, he turned to question you, having realised who was sitting in front of him. “How did you find me?”

“I don’t know, but how long were you planning on running away?” You asked casually, drawing whatever your hand cared to doodle.

When Yeosang remained silent, you tilted your chin up to find him seething, the sight brought such relief and sordid satisfaction that you couldn’t help but grin. Throwing your open notebook on the table, you leaned to the left, letting your right leg hang over the seat’s armrest. Yeosang’s gaze drifted across your ugly doodles of glyphs and his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. You were never good at drawing them, however, even in their misshapen forms it was easy to recognize what they were… and how novel they are to Yeosang.

“You got lazy, Kang Yeosang.” Unable to stop smiling, you threw your head back in victory. “Really, you didn’t bother to check my name or my history, or at least guard your home. You didn’t even charm the tea! You evaded us for almost a decade and you got cocky.”

To demonstrate, you snapped your fingers and the cup shook, white and blue porcelain shimmering with red particles but ultimately, clear of glyphs. Yeosang looked at you with disbelief, but there was also wonder and curiosity behind his eyes.

“How did you find me?” Yeosang repeated, albeit, with less insistence. His fists were clenched, but unwittingly, his body had leaned forward, and his focus was on the new glyphs. He looked up at you with his lips dry, clearly with another question on his tongue but instead asked once again, this time enunciating every word. “How did you find me?”

“Does it really matter? I have you now,” you sighed and rolled your eyes at his theatrics. “It’s about time you return home, we’ve all missed you so very much.”

“You got lucky,” Yeosang scoffed, clearly understanding he had no upper hand now. The practised demeanour of a reclusive scholar transformed into one of a ruthless rebel—the Kang Yeosang you heard stories about—the one you’d been tasked to track down. He leaned back on his chair, trying to mimic your composure. “You’ll never find the rest of us, and it will be years before you find Hongjoong?”

“Oh, will it, now?” You asked innocently, before leaning forward to snatch the envelopes stuffed in his pile of books, not caring that the stack toppled over as you did.

Yeosang opened his mouth to say something but only stuttered. Ignoring him, you sifted through his letters, throwing away the ones you didn’t recognize before arriving at the envelope with the red stamp you recognized.

“Who do you think I found first?” You asked, bearing your teeth in triumph as you flipped the letter over to show the name scribbled on it.

From Kim Hongjoong was scrawled under blood-red ink.

Yeosang’s eyes widened in terror as the realization settled in.

“After finding him, we tracked down everyone from your precious little rebel group within a matter of months,” you said, shrugging before throwing the letter onto the table. “It’s easy when your good buddies contact you—pretty smart of the lot of you, throwing yourselves in different universes! Separating so it would be harder to track, real innovative—not that it did you any good. Gave you what? Roughly a decade of freedom? No, of utopia, of a new world!”

You declared the last word in a shout, throwing your hands up as his leader, Kim Hongjoong, had a decade ago. His unruly two-toned hair accompanying his manic grin plastered on every visible screen across your monitored and carefully controlled home. You remembered the day as if it had been yesterday; the mangled static in your ear startling you awake, rousing you from your simulation, from your drowsy dreamlike state of repeated and micromanaged routine you called life. You remembered the prickling sensation of pain, the wave of fear and doubt, the flood of repressed emotions pulling you under and encompassing you whole. You were confused, afraid, and sick to the stomach witnessing the chaos grow around you. Scared to spill tears, you let out a raucous bark of laughter, convincing yourself that it was to spite Yeosang.

Fortunately, Yeosang did not take your taunt lightly. His torso lurched forward clearly to tackle you, but his binds held him back, cutting deep into his skin. Instead, he opted to yell at you. “We saved you! We freed you! We did bring on a new world!”

“No, you escaped!” The words had left your lips before you could reign them in. In fact, to emphasise you had slammed your fists on the table, rattling the books and the artefacts in the glass cabinet. Unsettled by your own show of emotion, you stepped back, trying to regain your relaxed composure but there was no return. “You abandoned us, you stole the Cromer. You escaped to another world and left chaos in your wake.”

Yeosang's mouth opened and closed, he stuttered to begin something but taking in your admission he stopped himself and turned to look at the hourglass. Shaking yourself of your jitters, you confidently marched towards the glass cabinet with a fist raised.

The glass cracked loudly and released shards like bullets, jewellery and trinkets toppled over unceremoniously as Yeosang’s violin fell to the ground with an ugly twang. You grabbed the Cromer and smirked at the instantaneous surge in power; such unfiltered energy gone unprotected.

“This is coming home,” you said, as you turned to Yeosang, “and so are you.”

The author’s body lurched upward, as his restraints brought his hands together, now completely immovable, but it seemed Yeosang had no intention of trying to escape this time. In fact, Yeosang’s expression was forlorn, eyes glazed as he was deep in thought, consumed by regret and doubt. He didn’t need to worry for long.

“Let me show you what your movement achieved,” you said softly, a little pained. Yeosang’s melancholic gaze shifted to your own. “Let me take you home, Yeosang.”

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: i struggled so much with that banner, and i had so many designs ;-; gifs and videos and cropping good lord, graphic design is not my passion, and in the end, yeosang's face looks funny hfsdkjfhk. anygays stream guerrilla and worship cyberpunk, thanks. hope everyone has a good day/night :]

tagging: @someone-who-likes-broccoli

#mala's collection #sanccharine #ficscafe #yeosang x reader #ateez x reader #yeosang imagines #ateez imagines #kpop imagines #kpop ateez #ateez #ateez yeosang #kang yeosang #yeosang angst #recluse

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sailorhyunjinz · 3 years ago

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𝕴𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖘 𝐈

Pairing; Bartender!Changbin x Fem!reader (she/her pronouns)

Warning ; ANGST!! SMUT!! skz side characters, semi-slow burn, hurt/comfort, strangers to lovers, depiction of mental disorders, consumption of alcohol, under the influence, self hatred, complicated family relationships, depersonalisation/derealisation, depression, alternative universe, implications of su-cide, semi su-cide attempt, su-cidal!reader, mentions of bl-od and injury, mentions of k-dnapping and murder, alcoholism, mentions of selfh-rm, mentions of knifes, gaslighting, smoking, mentions of weapons, mentions of pregnancies, a bunch of crying, fainting, toxic masculinity.

𝘕𝘚𝘍𝘞 ; piv, protected sex (use of condom), missionary, dry humping, nicknames, sex in semi-public place, fingering, corruption kink if you squint, orgasm (m/f), cum,,,, other then that it’s kinda vanilla.

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 14.3 k

O N E ｜ T W O

From one survivor to another; cheers you guys.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ Playlist ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

[FEEL SOMETHING DIFFERENT - Bea Miller, Aminè]

[Multi-Love - Unknown Mortal Orchestra]

[Beach Baby - Bon Iver]

[High Enough - K.Flay]

[Dope Lovers - DPR IAN]

[Make Out in My Car ; Sufjan Stevens Version - Sufjan Stevens]

[I Feel it Coming ; The weekend, Daft Punk]

[Space Song ; Beach House] (ah the loml and the album is called depression cherry so it makes me happy)

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘧 18.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈 ; 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲

“Let me out!! LET ME OUT!”

You cry out, banging on the heavy wooden door until your knuckles bruise, red marks leaving their traces on your soft skin. The only lightsource is the tiny cell window, sun shining brightly and illuminating thousands of dust specks, floating around you like your lost hopes. The grey cement walls got closer and closer, seconds ticking in your head like a clock.

This is it.

This is how you die.

Crushed to death like a bug, your ambitions never getting their chance to prove themselves. All that you ever wanted to achieve was an impossibility as you were slowly but surely pressed together in the ever shrinking room.

Salty tears roll down your cheek, a feeling of hopelessness washing over you as you turn your back against the door, sliding down to your feet, banging the back of your head lightly against the entrance.

You feel the rough walls hitting both sides of your forearms, a last ear deafening scream leaving your parted lips.

Until you woke up.

With a series of jerking motions you sit up, panting like you just ran a marathon, the pounding of your heart audible to you. Darkness swallowed you as the night progressed, you considering yourself lucky to find yourself in your comfortable bed, still in your room.

Only after minutes do you notice your wet cheeks, the tears not being limited to your dream world. You blink, your coated eyelashes weighing heavy on your eyelids as you wipe tears with the back of your hand. The shock from your dream didn’t reside, you now being too afraid to fall back on your plushy pillow, fearful of what horrible dreams awaited you on the other side.

You grab your phone from the nightstand, immediately being hit with a bright light causing you to squint and turn away momentarily.

[Search: being crushed dream meaning]

Multiple articles from all sorts of sketchy websites popped up, you clicking on the first one.

“Stress or emotionally overwhelmed”

You laugh lazily, the dream making sense as you feel yourself slipping back into a peaceful slumber, phone still in hand as the muscles in your face relax, jaw opening, your dream world once again inviting you for a dance.

The sun woke you up with it’s radiant rays shining in your face, the closed blinds barely able to withstand them. Your phone was lying on the floor face down, you must have dropped it while sleeping you thought before rubbing your eyes from any dirt and staring up at the ceiling.

Another day

Another day that I’m here.

You wish you could pull the covers over your head, get lost in your own mind and never deal with the outside world ever again. But you had to.

You picked up your phone from the dusty floor that hadn’t been cleaned for weeks, you simply didn’t have the motivation to do it. The bright phone screen awaked you, you blinked your eyes a couple of times to see clearer.

[3 Missed Calls - Mom]

You couldn’t be bothered to call her back. She was only gonna nag at you for not calling back earlier, wondering what you’ve been up to now that you’ve been fired from your job as a receptionist at the local hotel. What were you gonna say? Drinking too much booze and crying yourself to sleep every night? You couldn’t, that would only hurt her.

Ignorance is bliss, as they say.

You got up, legs wobbling as you stumbled to the bathroom, head pounding from the amount of alcohol you consumed the night prior. Not with friends but alone, in your living room, in the one room apartment you no longer could afford.

Ice cold water splashed onto your sweaty face, that being the only hygiene you could muster today. You turned the tap off, grabbing a towel and wiping your face and looking deep into your own eyes.

That’s not me.

That’s not me looking back.

You poked your tongue out, hoping the figure in the mirror wouldn’t move and you could confirm your thoughts but alas the figure followed you. You felt crazy, it was as if you’ve died a long time ago but still saw everything that happened. You could stick your hand through a wall and it would disappear you thought, nothing was real. Not even you.

You entered your mess of a living room, seeing the wreck from yesterday night. Countless green glass bottles scattered on the table in front of the tv that was your only escape from reality. Blankets and pillows were thrown across the floor along with a box of tissues, your emotions bubbling up to the surface too often resulting in you crying and shaking on the floor, a feeling of fear washing over you late at night.

You felt alone.

But you weren’t.

Fuck, why were you so ungrateful? You had everything. A roof over your head, a family that loves you, friends, food on the table. Yet, even this couldn’t satisfy you. You blamed yourself for everything.

For your work firing you.

For your parents divorcing.

For your own pathetic life.

You shook your head as if you were shaking the negative thoughts out of your head, instead grabbing a couple of the empty bottles that were reeking with the scent of liquor and placing them on the kitchen counter. ‘Cleaning up’ in your eyes.

With a thump your back landed against the couch that swallowed you, engulfing you in a comforting embrace you got from no other person or object. This was your safe space you thought but not even your couch could save you from your intrusive reasonings. With a light click on the remote the tv screen lit up, your eyes still not used to the brightness since you’re always cooped up in your apartment where the blinds were always closed, another barrier between you and reality.

Nature documentaries, your favorite.

The calming male voice of the narrator being the only one you talked to during your lonely days. The animals could make you forget. They lived so freely, moving wherever they wanted without a care in the world, either swimming, hopping or flying. You wish you were born as another animal than human.

“The 52-hertz whale travels an astonishing 70 km a day but it’s voyage doesn’t bring social interactions. This whale is the loneliest whale in the world. It’s the only whale that is capable of emitting a whale call at such frequency, no other individuals communicating with the poor creature.”

You sat up in curiosity. It was a scream for help you thought. The whale needed help, it needed someone or something.

Just like you.

You sighed, watching the lonely whale on your tv screen, seeing it’s gracious movements despite its size. It did look lonely in that deep dark sea, wondering how it would be to fall into the abyss of water, swallowing you whole and erasing the life that once sparked your soul.

This was where you spent your entire days. The clock on the wall is ticking but the digits it displayed are oblivious to you. What did it matter if it was 5 pm or 1 am? You were still not gonna budge from your comforting seat on the couch. Drinking your feelings away no matter what time in the day.

This was you.

This was who you had become.

The sun started to set on the horizon, a delicate shade of light purple descending over it, covering the end of the world like the way a canopy covers the softness of a bed. You sigh, diverting your focus back on the tv screen after momentarily observing the life outside your window. Yet again, nature documentaries accompanied by the soft male voice, narrating every movement of the colibri that fluttered it’s wings at the speed of light on your screen in vivid colors.

You got that look in your eyes. That look of amazement which you now only had when looking at the beautiful colors of a exotic bird. You moved closer to the tv screen in the now dark living room, the sun setting at a fast pace. It reminded you of the many times your mom shouted at you to not sit so close to the screen, scaring you by saying that you’d get rectangular eyes.

Your childhood.

The only time you felt ease.

The only time your family was as one.

“y/n, what does your heart look like?” the therapist asked, scribbling mindlessly on a notepad.

“it’s a muscle that pumps blo-” you started but were quickly cut off.

“no, I mean what does your heart look like, how does it feel?”

You sighed, looking down at the grey marbled floor, your legs shaking in nervousness. You hesitated before speaking, scrambling in your mind to say something sensible before the words came pouring out of you.

“i-it looks like a house. A dark, empty house,,, but it’s comforting.”

Once again you heard the sound of a pencil writing incoherent sentences. Curious as to know what secrets were on that piece of A5-paper.

“is there anyone in the house with you?” the therapist inquired.

You shook your head before speaking.

“I don’t want to let anyone in, this is my safe space” you say, almost setting up an emotional barrier, not wanting to answer further questions.

The person sitting across from you hummed as you stared out the window behind them, the green ivy bushes already grown tall enough to cover half of the grimy window.

“is the house empty?” they asked to which you shook your head once again, avoiding the glassy-eyed stare of the therapist.

“no,,, there are dusty furniture covered in white cloths and-,,, and family photos in the drawers.”

“is it your family?”

You shook your head in disagreement.

“How did you end up here?”

You thought for a second, puffing out your cheeks, a habit of yours. You searched for a reason but not finding any.

“I just,,, was here one day.”

“The sun never shines here.” you added after a solid 30 seconds of silence.

You were stuck in that house.

The house that was once filled with happy memories of another family, you simply a ghost that was now trying to fit the broken pieces together, wanting desperately to see them smiling again.

Tears started forming in your eyes, a shiny gloss over your orbs.

But you never cried.

Not in front of others.

You thought often about that visit. Why your heart was an desolate house and why the words spilled out of you like a poisonous liquid.

You closed your eyes, the bright colors fluttering behind your eyelids as the comforting sounds of the woods blasted from the tv.

You wish you could be somewhere else.

Anywhere but here.

A single tear rolled down your cheek as a smile creeped up on your face, your butt against the floor as your knees were underneath your chin, your entire figure curled up into a small ball.

You sighed as your eyes fluttered open again. You were still here, in your apartment that smelled like nothing but alcohol and disappointment.

Firmly planting both your hands on the wooden floor you heaved yourself up with the intention of getting more tissues, the blue colored tissue box on the floor being as empty as others expectations of you.

But as you stood up the entire room started spinning, small specks of rainbow flashing by your eyes. You thought you stood up to quickly grabbing onto the wall for a second before collapsing against it, your entire body shaking. You cried louder, thinking you were about to pass out. Your hair stuck to your tear stained cheek as your puffy eyes closed once again.

What was happening?

The rain hit your unconscious body, your knees scraped from the concrete you lied on. You were soaked from head to toe, lying with your cheek against the ground in a puddle of rain. You woke up from your head pounding, your bloody knees only gaining your attention after you’ve looked around in a confused daze.

It was empty. An alleyway in the dark night. You found yourself panicked, anxiety bubbling inside of you. That’s when you saw it. A single street light above a red phone booth. You tried to stand up but fell over again as your legs could barely hold you up, now scraping your elbow against the gritty ground.

Crying out, you started shouting for help.

“HELP!! SOMEBODY HELP!”

You screamed at the top of your lungs, voice cracking as your tears started to look identical to the rain that was pouring over your cold, helpless body. Nobody came, your voice only echoing against the wall that the phone booth stood near to.

You got on all fours, crawling towards the light as pure pain shot through your body, small pebbles jabbing into the open wounds on your knees. You needed shield from the rain. Desperate huffs and groans escaping your parted lips as you dragged yourself through small puddles, the phonebooth seemingly getting further and further away from you. Looking through the soaked curtains that was your hair you were determined, this was life or death you thought as you continued to shout out for help, it appeared to be useless since the only other sound besides your own voice was the rain hitting the ground.

Shivering hands grabbed onto the corner of the crimson red phonebooth, the streetlight illuminating your teary eyes. You held onto that frigid and wet piece of metal as if you were holding onto a treasure.

As if you won a race.

As if you pleased your parents.

You looked up, dragging the inner side of your leg against the concrete, your pyjama pants wet to the bone. Desperately you got yourself together, your arms shaking as the rough pads of your hands met the ground, pushing yourself up into a standing position. You hissed at the pain in your knees as you grabbed onto the metal handle that opened the phonebooth, stepping inside.

The inside was surprisingly warm, as if someone had been there moments prior. A ripped piece of paper was taped on the glass pane to the right of the payphone, something that seemed like a phone number but could impossibly be since it wasn’t a full number.

[1800-xxx]

You looked at the payphone and then back at the washed out paper, the edges of the note curling and stained with yellow. Only when you looked back at the phone again did you notice the keypad. To your surprise there was an “x” button. Your head felt heavy, deciding to lean it against the other side of the stuffy phone booth, your hot breath creating steam on the glass.

You wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

Your entire body ached, let alone the blood that was dripping down your leg. The rusty payphone connected to the actual phone, a black handle connected to the underside of the machinery by a coiled metal rope. You picked up the phone, putting it against your ear and groaned when you remembered that you needed coins in order for the payphone to work

[0.5 gold/minute]

You rubbed your eyes. Gold? You sighed loudly, your knees barely being able to hold your weary body any longer. Hesitant fingers pressed the number that was jot down on the lined note, pressing each key accordingly. You pressed the last x before you pressed the “call” button, not expecting anything to happen.

But after a few seconds a female automated voice spoke to you.

“Thank you for calling. This place only appears to the suffering. If you are receiving this call, congratulations! Your prayers have been answered. Drink the liquid in the paper cup above this payphone. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice lagged, a static sound accompanying the automated voice. Your breath got shaky as you looked around, holding the phone close to your ear with both hands. This could only be some sort of kidnapping scheme or this was a sick dream.

“It’s a dream, y/n. Calm down, nothing's gonna hurt you.”

You muttered to yourself, pinching your forearm tightly and wincing from pain. This wasn’t a dream after all.

Your gaze landed on the brown paper cup that was balancing delicately on top of the payphone, your cracking knuckles reaching for it as you let the phone fall out of your grasp, being caught mere inches from the sticky floor of the photobooth by the coil. Bringing the cup closer to your face you saw a dark viscous liquid that smelled sweet enough to sting your nose. Your face contorted into disgust, debating on whether not to drink the contents of the paper cup.

“Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid. Drink the liquid.”

The voice continued ringing in your ears. You had nothing to lose. If you died then you at least got what you wanted. Holding your breath, you brought the cup closer to your quivering lips, parting them slightly as you held your nose tightly, not wanting to feel whatever horrible taste could be found in that dark pit of goo.

It burned the moment it hit the delicate taste buds on your tongue, your voice muffled as the fluid descended down your throat, your larynx bobbing up and down with each gulp. Despite covering your nose you could taste the pungent sweetness, it tasted like pure acid. Not that you knew what that tasted like but what you assumed it would.

You coughed, accidentally spilling some of the goo on the floor, dribbling out of your mouth. The heavy rain pitter-pattered against the metal roof above your head, your eyelids threatening to shut. The cup fell out of your hand as you slammed your forehead against the payphone, not hard enough to bleed but hard enough to bruise. Your jawbone hurt from how much you’d been crying, eyes puffy as the salty tears mixed with the rain droplets on your face.

“i-i’m sorry mom, i’m so fucking sorry.”

You rolled your forehead left to right against the rusty material of the payphone, your soaked hair covering your empty eyes. Your knees bent under you causing you to fall on your butt with your knees clinking against each other, the sticky contents on the floor sticking to the soft fabric of your pants.

“I’M SO SORRY!”

You never thought a scream this loud could protrude its way out of your throat, the vibrations bouncing off the glass that to your surprise didn’t break. Everything started to become shades darker, almost as if a black and white filter settled over your vision.

No, this is how you’re gonna die.

Alone.

In the rain.

“Hyung, what are you gonna do with her?”

Muffled club music struck your ear along with a high pitched ringing, your eyelids felt as heavy as they’d been in the phonebooth. With your head pounding you slowly open your eyes, first not seeing anything but darkness before eight unknown men form a circle around you, hovering above you.

You shoot up from your lying position, fear overtaking your body. Where were you but more importantly why the fuck were you alone in a dark room with 8 young men? Not thinking straight, you decided to scream once again, thinking they would back off and let you be.

“Get away from me!!”

The males covered their ears, groaning in pain and a blonde boy throwing himself on the floor, rolling around.

“HEY!! HEY! WE’RE NOT GONNA HURT YOU!”

A strong voice overpowered yours, every word almost sounding like a grunt. You around, seeing that you were sitting on a soft leather couch before looking up at the male that was standing right infront of you. He was muscular, his biceps sitting snugly in the tight black t-shirt that covered him, a grey apron tied around his waist and his dark hair shielding his intense gaze and furrowed eyebrows. He had a jaw so sharp you could cut silence with it but silence was the last thing this room had. The boys were shouting at each other, trying to hush the others while screaming themselves.

“SHUT UP!!”

The room got quiet as the muscular guy roared, the seven other individuals coming to a halt. You looked at them all with a puzzled expression, all of them handsome, a fact you couldn’t deny.

“Where the fuck am I, who are you guys and p-please don’t kill me”

Your voice cracked at the end of your sentence as your eyes twinkled, tears teasing the corners of your eyes, fingers shaking in fear. The male closest to you sat down, the weight of the couch shifting. He rubbed his hand together before he started speaking in a calmer voice.

“I’m Changbin, bartender of the Lost Souls nightclub. That’s Chan, security guard.”

With his chin, he pointed at a guy in ripped black jeans with a white t-shirt, a sweatband across his forehead, pushing his slightly curly hair back. He didn’t look like a security guard, the only thing that might have pointed to that was the walkie-talkie hanging from his belt. You nodded before Changbin continued.

“And those are some friends, frequent visitors if you will.”

A light haired boy with shiny rhinestones under his eyes stepped forward after he’d been hugging the tallest guy in the room the entire time.

“u-uhm, the name’s Felix! This is Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin, Jisung and Minho, and yeah those two, Chan and Changbin.”

He pointed at each guy respectively and the room filled with small “hi’s” and smiles. They didn’t look threatening, all of them being very timid and looking down at the ground. Your gaze diverted back to Changbin that was staring at you the entire time.

“Can somebody tell me where I am?”

Changbin cleared his throat, stomping his boot a couple of times.

“This is gonna sound,,, interesting but you have to believe me-”

You interrupted the muscular boy, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, noticing that it had dried.

“Why should I believe you? We’ve just met?”

Changbin sighed.

“Just,,, hear me out”. You nodded before he continued.

“You answered a phone call right?”

Nodding once again your gaze drifted towards the other boys that were looking at Changbin with googly eyes.

“Well,,, this place only appears to those who are,,, struggling with themselves. Obviously you don’t have to tell us why you’re here but,,, this is a place to let go. The only rule here is no fighting”

“Or dancing on the tables” the tall blonde boy added with a snark causing a squirrel-like boy to giggle, playfully hitting the blonde before looking at Chan who glared back at him, the boy being flustered and turning serious again. Jisung, his name was.

“W-what did that phonebooth do,,, does everyone go through that?” you asked with a curious tone.

“Usually it’s a pleasant experience going in that phonebooth, the sun shining and people hanging around that alleyway before taking the phonecall and drinking the elixir,,, there must have been a glitch in the system.”

He sounded unsure, scratching the back of his head as he looked at all of the boys.

“System? What system? I’m dreaming, right?” you said in panic, wanting to get out of this oddly suffocating room.

“W-we are real and you’re not dreaming,,, it’s just that, we can’t meet in real life you know? This is a place to,,, let oneself go and I know it’s scary since you only get here randomly, it must have been hard passing out like that,,”

A boy with fluffy light brown hair and a pretty eye smile said, Seungmin! You remembered his name because you thought it fitted him, sounding both soft and sharp at the same time.

“y-yeah,,, it was scary b-but thank you for caring about me” you said with a half smile

“oh! and also, we treated all your wounds, luckily you were passed out so you couldn’t feel the pain but let me tell you,,, it looked awful, I don’t understand how you did that Chan” Jisung remarked with wide eyes, looking at you concerned before turning to Chan.

“Did what?” you inquired to which Jisung responded.

“Removing the pebbles in your wounds, h-how did you even get those in there?” he asked to which you tried to remember, seeing hazed memories of you crawling on the asphalt in the storming rain.

“I was crawling towards the phone booth'' you said quietly as the boys gazed at you with concern. The atmosphere got dusked and in an attempt to lift the mood you cleared your throat, lightly running your hands over the bandaids that were plastered on your scraped knees, wincing from the contact.

Changbin made eye contact with Chan, jerking his head towards the door to signal for him and the other boys to leave the room. Chan nodded and patted Jeongin on the shoulder, trying to scoot all the boys out of the room like a shepherd leading a bunch of silent sheep.

“Let’s have some fun! Drinks on me boys~” Chan exclaimed to get the boys off their worried thoughts about you, the curly haired male closed the door quietly and both you and Changbin stayed silent until the footsteps were faint on the other side of the black wooden door.

“Is this better?” Changbin said with a slight smile at the end. “They can be quite the bunch sometimes, either they’re very much off the deep end or they’re just a rowdy mess” he laughs, looking out in the distance before he looks at you with your knees under your chin, holding your legs close to your body.

“So,,, we’re all here for similar reasons?” you mumbled, holding your gaze stable on his dark eyes.

“yeah,,, pretty much. We’ve all dealt with something mentally draining and of course you don’t have to tell but I just want you to know that nothing will hurt you here.” Changbin replied.

“I do want to tell,,, but it’s just that I don’t want to be alone about it. I’ve never been around people that have shared the same experiences.”

Changbin slid closer to you on the couch, putting one leg over the other.

“It’s like that for,,, almost every single individual in the club, we all want to tell our stories and this is the place to do it. No one is gonna judge you for it. I remember thinking that when I first got here, ‘everyone is gonna judge me for not drinking’.”

Changbin’s last sentence caught your attention.

“but aren’t you the bartender? shouldn’t you know all the,,, liquors and such?”

Changbin sighed and you regretted you sentence, thinking that maybe you asked a too personal question.

“I do know them but not in the way one should.”

Something clicked in your head when the boy uttered those words. You nodded silently, letting your gaze fall to your wounded knees as your shaky voice spoke;

“So do I”

Changbin’s gaze was fixated on the floor as he shared what was on his mind.

“But no one judged me,,, eh,,, I never asked for your name!” the boy said to which you giggled, reassuring Changbin that you were in a stable state.

“It’s y/n, nice to meet you!” you said, stretching your hand forward to shake his. Changbin smiled towards your gesture.

“pretty name, angel” he said, shaking your hand and noticing how small it was in his grasp, the cold metal of his rings contrasting to your now warm hands. He didn’t let go immediately, instead holding your hand and feeling it’s warm temperature, running his thumb across your knuckles softly. You snarked at his comment.

“angel? didn’t know we had established pet names for each other in barely 10 minutes of meeting.”

“and I didn’t know angels landed in this place” he said back. “i’ve had to deal with 7 annoying boys that never listen to me,,, well, 8 but one of them,,, disappeared.”

You nodded, not wanting to overstep any boundaries by asking about that 8th guy incase it was an emotional topic.

“how is it? working with alcohol despite having quite a rocky relationship to it?”

The buff boy hummed, drumming his fingers on the seat next to him.

“It’s better than one might think. I get to be around it without engaging in the activity myself, simply serving clients and the boys already know it, we look out for each other. Like a family you know!” Changbin said with a happy tone, not wanting the conversation to get you in a bad mood after all you’ve been through that night.

“family,,, could use one of those” you joked and Changbin actually laughed which you’ve never felt with anyone before, the only response you usually got was your therapist writing down your self deprecating jokes with their orange lead pencil.

“you’re always welcome to us” he said, letting go of your hand that now felt empty. You felt safe. There was no way of describing it but you felt this caring aura around this man, drawing you closer to him.

“how long does this last? i’m guessing you go back to ‘the real world’ again at some point” you spoke, making quotation marks with your hands.

“it depends, it’s different every time but you will pass out just like you did when you got here but you won’t go back to the phone booth, you’ll wake up where you were last in real life. Time goes on in the real world but here,,, clocks don’t really work. We’ve tried bringing clocks or phones with us but the digits don’t change.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. This had to be a dream.

“w-whats with the gold on the phone? Does money exist in this,,, universe?” you asked with confusion to which Changbin shook his head.

“no, drinks are free and so are the phone calls, i have no idea why the phone booth says that or why Chan said that drinks are on him, he must have been stressed trying to get the boys out of here” Changbin said to which you giggled.

“i-is there any time where you never return?” you asked, earning a bittersweet smile from the male.

“yeah,,, if those issues you have get resolved but,, that rarely happens. Destructive behaviours feed of each other. Get rid of one and it gets replaced with another.”

You recognised that. It was always something, you could never live in peace without feeling the need to self sabotage.

“Poor innie knows that too well” he added with an acerbic tone.

“innie?” you tilted your head in question, gazing around the dark room that was rather empty, only a couple of dark colored shelves on the wall and the couch you were sitting on along with the ceiling lamp that was stingy with it’s light.

“Jeongin, the youngest among us. Poor boy has been through it all, if it’s not drugs it’s self harm and Minho is a real dick sometimes, bringing pocket knives in “defense”. He’s delusional, thinking everyone is out to get him and Jeongin knows this. We’ve found our precious little boy in the bathroom too many times, holding those stupid knifes Minho keeps having on him and crying till his cheeks puff up.”

You took a mental note to keep your distance from Minho, feeling bad for Changbin that had to be amidst this mess while dealing with his own emotions. You could relate, being the emotional pillar between your parents that hated each other to the brink of physical violence. There’s always someone that has to suffer because of other people's problems.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Changbin.” you managed to stutter out, not knowing what else to add to the conversation.

“Ah,,, don’t be, y/n! Just take good care of yourself, that’s what matters the most to me” Changbin said. You smiled, moving closer and hovered your hand above his shoulder.

“Can I?” you asked quietly to which Changbin nodded and moments later felt your warm hand patting his back. He felt listened to. Understood. And even though he was yet to tell you his entire life story he knew that you were different from the others. You actually cared about him.

The room started spinning again and you clutched onto Changbin’s black t-shirt, trying to stabilize yourself. Those rainbow colored speckles you had seen earlier appeared again, vision blurring right in front of your eyes.

“y/n? how are you?” Changbin’s voice was worried but he knew what was happening.

“it’s spinning again, I t-think I’m gonna pass,,, out” you muttered,

“It’s alright y/n, I’m here yeah?” His rough voice distinguished itself from his comforting words as you held onto the dark haired boy, a faint smell of tobacco interlacing with the air you breathed in through your nose. Your two arms were now wrapped around the male with your face against his broad shoulder, eyes shutting as tightly as they could, face contorting into fear until everything disappeared. The vague beats of the music. The pain that ached from your knees. The feeling of finally finding home in someone's arms.

Everything turned into nothing in Changbin’s embrace. You were slowly turning into his everything because he had nothing in his life.

And then you woke up.

You gasped for air as you woke up in panic, hunching over on the floor in a coughing fit, clawing at your neck for oxygen. Panting on the floor you put your forehead against the wooden laminated floorboards, your frizzy hair blocking out the little light that was in the apartment and being hit with the malodorous smell of distilled alcohol.

What was that?

You were convinced that it was some kind of wicked dream. An escape from reality even. But as Changbin said, you did wake up in the exact same place and position you passed out in. A long breath seized through your lungs as you shifted in your position on the floor.

“Son of a bitch!”

Tears prickled the corners of your eyes as the hard floor hit your wounded knees. You quickly sat down on your butt, lifting your knees up to your chin and only then did your heart drop.

It wasn’t a dream. Your eyes lingered on the bandaids that were placed with the utmost care across your both knees, a stain of dark brown blood seeping through the sticky elastic material and dried blood staining your knees in a haphazard attempt of somebody trying to wipe it off without hurting you. You managed to grab the edge of the sofa, levering yourself up with, testing out the strength left in your wobbly legs. Your phone lit up, sitting on the place you’re usually curled up in. Throwing yourself on the soft piece of furniture you observed the phone screen, lost eyes wandering mindlessly over the brightly lit display.

What you noticed wasn’t the worried text from your mother.

It was the fact that the digits hadn’t changed from when you passed out.

Your head snapped towards the tv screen and the phone fell from your hand when you stared at the screen, breath trembling.

The same documentary. The same colibri.

This couldn’t be. Surely you hadn’t just stopped time,,, right? This was not something Changbin warned you about. How long until you meet Changbin again? An hour,,, or ever?

There was nothing else you could do besides wait. Wait until the next time you pass out. And what better way to make time pass but to be confronted by your mother? You pulled up the text on your phone and read it hastily before scoffing.

[Are you eating well? Please call if you see this]

Since when did she care about you? You knew that she did care. Somewhere deep inside her motherly heart she did care but the way she displayed that so-called ‘affection’ didn’t make it obvious. You tried to justify every word, believing all the lies she fed you. You tried so hard to believe that you were healthy, that your mental health wasn’t deteriorating before the eyes of your very own mother that was refusing to see the truth. That her child was indeed in pain. You couldn’t blame her, it was her way of dealing with the issue but it didn’t make it easier for you. Your thumbs hovered above the keyboard, you couldn't think of anything better to write and quickly typed it down before you hit send.

[yes, i’m busy]

Busy contemplating your existence. Your father wasn’t exactly any better. Throwing out each one of your family members until there was only him left. He had no trouble filling that emptiness, simply creating a new family and forgetting you as if you were a chapter of the book called ‘previous life’. You didn’t mind, not after everything he did to you and your mother. There was no need for a person like that in your life but unfortunately it influenced you more than you thought, always seeking validation in either work or relationships because how could you validate yourself after your self esteem had been crushed by this tyrant?

You threw your phone on the table, a clink noise being heard as it hit a bottle, knocking it over but not breaking it. Your parental issues or mental health was for once not the biggest concern in your life, now instead wanting to search for the answers that could explain the nightclub. How did it exist? What caused it to exist and who was behind it? You needed to get back there somehow.

The tv had turned off by itself, you found yourself waking up on the couch, using a pillow as a blanket, hugging the warm material closer to your body as you whined. With confused and lost eyes you scanned the room for a clock, hitting the table a couple of times and finally getting your hands on your phone, bringing it closer to your eyes.

[3:02 am] the digits lit up. You rubbed your tired eyes with your left hand, throwing the pillow on the floor and using the phone display as a torch in the pitch dark room. There was no point in falling asleep again, you had already slept so many hours, sleeping anymore would only make you drowsy the entire next day. You yawned as you staggered towards the bathroom, flicking the lightswitch on the wall and squinting fiercely as you were blinded by the harsh bathroom ceiling light. You put the phone down and quickly caught your reflection in the mirror before you sat down on the toilet to pee, folding a couple of sheets toilet paper in your hand. You yawned again as you flushed, going to wash your hands but once again being amused by your reflection.

That’s not me.

It’s the person I’ve become but never wanted to be.

Your dark circles almost reached your cheekbones, the wounds on your knees still stinging even after hours of peaceful slumber. You poked your tongue out to which the reflection did the same, staring back at you with frizzy hair and puffy eyes from tears. You couldn’t trust it. Mirrors lie you thought and so does every single reflective surface in the entire world. You would never know what you truly looked like and that ignited panic in you, feeling your breath rapidly increasing as you held onto the white cold edge of the bathroom sink.

This happened. Too often. It was the feeling of not knowing yourself or your surroundings. Like you had just appeared in this world, scared and alone. To not know who you are and having to live with yourself til the day you die frightened you. But you didn’t know if death was any better. Sure, the thought was comforting but being buried under layers of soil, having flowers and insects living their best life above you as you simply rotted away wasn’t the solution to all your worries although a moment of eternal peace did sound tempting.

You felt a lump in your throat, trying to cough as if it was some sort of anxiety flem when in reality it was your brain setting up imaginary barricades. Your hair draped in front of your face and with furious eyes you peeked up, seeing your almost demon-like expression and smiling psychotically.

I hate you.

I fucking hate you, y/n l/n.

Your smile was wiped off the moment the room started spinning. Your reflection becomes diffuse in the mirror as if it wasn’t enough not recognising it. A loud gulp made its way down your esophagus as you continued staring at yourself in disgust. You blinked slowly, every time you closed your eyes you saw those rainbow colored specks all around, almost as if they were distracting you from what was happening, like a kaleidoscope for a child. You felt as if the ground started shaking, an earthquake in your personal world that was separated from the real one. Maybe you were going back to the nightclub, to Changbin’s reassuring arms or maybe you we’re really going crazy this time. The specks got bigger, turning into elaborate patterns in neon colors that clouded your vision. You kept eye contact with your reflection for what seemed like forever, despising the person that was staring back, your gaze broken as your eyes rolled back in your skull, your eyes white as if you’d been hexed before you collapsed on the frigid bathroom floor.

“y/n? y/n, wake up!”

The sun dazed your eyes as you woke up on the slightly toasty concrete. Changbin tilted his head as a cigarette was hanging out the corner of his mouth, bright sunlight behind him. He had on a jean jacket with patches from several underground punk and rock bands, his neck was embellished with multiple silver chains and his hair was slicked back, glistening in the heat. He knocked the wind out of you even more, as if passing out in the bathroom wasn’t enough torture.

“oh y/n! you’re awake!”

Chan says, coming closer to you, this time he’s wearing a tanktop that showed off his flawless abs, your mouth watering at the sight. You only then remembered that you looked like a mess, still in your pyjamas that consisted of an old sports event t-shirt and small basketball shorts.

“a-am i in the club again?” you say, rubbing your eyes with both hands before feeling your head pounding a bit, sitting up slowly and feeling the harsh ground beneath you.

“no! you’re at the phone booth, everyone is here now oh and, this is usual how it’s supposed to look.”

After your vision stops blurring you look around, seeing the same alleyway and the same crimson phone booth but being hit with a completely different atmosphere. People were standing in all types of fancy clothes, trendy bright colors, exaggerated makeup and 7 inch platforms. The sun was beaming, it felt like a hot summer day with friends, just like the old days back when you had friends.

“why does y/n always wear pyjamas? don’t you have any cool clothes?” Hyunjin snarks, pushing his blonde hair behind his ears, displaying his dangly silver and black earrings.

“knock it off asshat, the poor girl is probably scared off her mind” Seungmin sneaks up behind the blonde, punching him lightly in the stomach before he smiles sweetly at you. Duality was this man's second name.

“t-thank you seungmin” you said, giving a smile back but being met with a surprised facial expression.

“you remembered my name!” he said, giggling adorably. You gave a small nod before you looked back at Changbin that was drawing a breath from the cigarette, puffing out a white cloud close to your face before waving it away. You noticed how tired Changbin looked, his cheekbones sunken in and his complexion bleak. He stretched out his hand to help you up which you grabbed, the insides between his pointer and ring finger being slightly stained orange from tobacco. You wobbled up on your feet, knees slightly unstable but feeling better from sitting down a while.

“are you alright y/n? i could open that resting room if you want” he said before inhaling smoke once again, spreading in his mouth and intoxicating him. You shook your head.

“i want to see the club, why not while we’re there you know?” you said, smiling brightly and making his heart jump. Changbin hid the grin he so desperately wanted to display by dropping the cigarette bud on the concrete, stepping on it with his heavy boots that had chain details attached.

“alright, whatever you want angel” Changbin sneered which caught the attention of the 7 other boys, all staring at the jean-jacketed boy.

“angel? seems like someone has a crush” Hyunjin remarked making Jisung burst out in laughter.

“says master heartbreaker” Chan said under his breath making Hyunjin furrow his eyebrows, diverting his gaze from Changbin to Chan instead.

“come on you guys! can we not go to the club already?” Felix said, him also wearing a crop top along with a leather chest harness that accentuated his figure. Jisung nodded and made his way towards the phone booth that had droplets of steam on the inside, Felix and Hyunjin following shortly after the squirrel-like boy. You observed the alleyway. People leaning against the grey wall where the phone booth was, either smoking or chatting. Some were standing, others sitting down directly on the concrete, feeling the same heat you felt as you woke up.

With unstable steps you walked towards the phone booth behind all the boys, Changbin staying by your side and waving his hands towards the 7 boys that had somehow crammed into the humid and stuffy metal building, Chan closing the glassdoor as a couple of the boys giggled. You and Changbin stood on the other side of the door, seeing how Chan grabbed the black phone you had once held with cold dirty hands and Seungmin giggling as he took a sip out of the contents in the paper cup, passing it around to the others that did the same.

They disappeared right in front of you. Your mouth stood agape. They didn’t pass out, they just disappeared into thin air, leaving the airless crimson structure empty yet again.

“w-wait, why didn’t they pass out?” you asked, turning to Changbin as you ran a hand through your hair.

“it happens when you’re new. the body isn’t used to the entire,,, universe switch so you will probably pass out this time also but don’t worry, i’ll catch you”

Changbin grinned, opening the door and being hit by the lack of oxygen. He held the door open for you to which you smiled, stepping inside and seeing that the paper cup had been refilled automatically. The door closed behind Changbin, you standing in close proximity to the boy as you lifted the phone slowly, still feeling the warmth from Chan’s hand. The dark haired boy grabbed the brown paper cup, not even looking at the goopy substance before drinking it, seeing his adam's apple bob up and down. You put the phone towards your ear, wondering why you didn’t hear the female automated voice.

“it doesn’t work?” you said with confusion to which Changbin smiled, pressing in the infamous number on the rusty keypad.

[1800-xxx]

“yeah, it doesn’t if you don’t type in the number” he chuckled, holding the paper cup in both hands and leaning against the humid glass.

Suddenly you hear the voice you were dreading the hear.

It reminded you of that night. That dark rainy evening. The voice started to lag, just like it did last time. You hung up and turned around whereupon you saw Changbin handing you the paper cup. You gulped and put your lips on the edge of the cup, looking at him with unease but feeling comfortable with his presence. You tilted the cup, feeling the sweetness trickle down your throat, almost stinging your insides. Changbin smiled, he looked like the typical bad boy from every cliché teen movie but it made your heart flutter, slightly embarrassed at the state of yourself. He pushed away from the glass wall and swiped his thumb across the corner of your mouth, wiping off the sweet liquid and licking it off the tip of his thumb. You stood there, frozen at the sudden action, gazing softly at him.

“you had something there” he chuckled as you started to feel lightheaded again, your eyelids getting heavy.

“thanks” you said shortly, your gaze drifting down on the dirty floor beneath your feet, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Changbin didn’t say anything, catching you mere seconds after you collapsed on the grimy surface. Admiring your heavy eyes and puffy cheeks for a second before he himself disappeared into the abyss.

“One Moscow mule, please!”

An unfamiliar voice shouted through the blasting club music accompanied by what sounded like the shaking off a cocktail shaker. You groaned, your eyes fluttering open and being hit by the beams of a thousand light machines in all sorts of colors.

“Oh y/n!!” Jisung shouted on the other side of the bar, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the corner of the bar, on the same side as Changbin that was working diligently, mixing some concoction into a metal shaker. You rubbed your eyes, yawning and wondering how you could sleep sitting up. You heard Changbin set the metal cup down, telling something to the woman beside him, must be his co-worker you thought. He kneeled down next to the chair you were sitting on, looking up at you with curious eyes.

“how are you feeling?” he asked loudly, trying to overvoice the music.

“im good” you answered back just as loud, the two of you locking eyes. Changbin smiled at you with his tired face, glancing over the glasses that were located beneath the bar.

“you want something to drink?” Changbin said to which you nodded.

“give me anything” you said, messing with your hair and sighing. You felt tired, an urge to sleep despite the loud blaring music. Maybe it was more of an emotional fatigue. A lack of feeling. And that’s usually when you turn to the bottles. Changbin nodded, standing up and returning to his co-worker, starting to grab all kinds of pretty coloured alcohol.

“ay! y/n! come join us!” you heard Felix say, him standing with a glass in his hand, the other boys scattered around the club along with the other troubled individuals. You smiled widely, looking around and noticing the small exit gate connected to the bar. You patted Changbin on the back, him turning around with a grin before you exited through the gate, closing it after you and pushed through the crowd of people, making your way over to the boys.

“y/n, welcome to where you will feel alive” Jisung yelled, spreading his arms and nearly knocking someone in the hand.

It was truly living you thought. Every single way to escape reality was located here whether it would be alcohol, drugs or sex. People dancing and jumping, grinding and rubbing up against each other. In multiple booths there were people making out, touching in unknown places. Many looked outright high, moving as if their body was possessed by some dance god, not knowing how to control their limbs. You could have sworn you saw Seungmin putting a yellow pill in his mouth, smiling mischievously at someone you didn’t know.

So this was letting go.

“y/n! here!” you heard Changbin’s voice call behind you, turning around and seeing him putting a glass of clear liquid onto the stained wooden bar with coasters scattered all around, a couple lime wedges floating around with the ice in the glass.

“vodka tonic, giving you the strong ones” he said, grinning, to which you smiled back, understanding the hint to his personal life through his eyes. The glass was cold against your warm hand since you were in this stuffy environment filled with countless people and without any windows, only a ventilation system that led to nothing. You put the edge of the glass against your lips, taking a sip and swallowing harshly, feeling bitterness that tasted sweet because that’s what alcohol does when it’s consumed on a particularly bitter day. Or life.

The other boys were dancing, Chan mostly hanging around the edges of the nightclub and observing the nightlife. You made your way over to him, taking another sip in order to gain the courage to strike up a conversation.

“Sup? you feeling any better?” he asked before you had the chance to even open your mouth.

“better. why aren’t you enjoying yourself like the others?”

“i mean,,, i’m technically doing my job even though i’m not getting paid for it. i just like to be in charge i guess,,,” he said, getting more and more silent as he spoke. You nodded.

“i do work with stuff in real life as well” he added, to which you raised your eyebrows.

“what do you work with,,, if you don’t mind me asking!” you said, taking another sip of what tasted like Lucifer’s saliva.

“music producer! it’s tiresome but,,, i don’t really need sleep,,, or more like i can’t sleep. lucky there’s energy drinks and naps” he said with a giggle, his dimples displaying as he chuckled, leaning against the black walls of the nightclub.

“must be tough,,, but wait,,, i’ve never heard your music,,, and also shouldn’t you be the DJ then?” you said confused, swirling the liquid in your hand.

“but that’s the thing y/n, all these people, every single person you see in this room lives in another universe”

You gazed at him, Chan looking straight ahead towards the crowd.

“what do you mean by different universes?” you asked to which curly haired boy cocked his eyebrow.

“we will never coexist y/n, when i tell you that we’ve tried to bring our friendships to the real world i really mean it. we will never exist in your life outside of this hub and,,, it sucks.” Chan took a pause before speaking, pondering on what to say next.

“-thats what happened with a friend we had. i’m saying had because we don’t know where they are or what adventures await them. They just,,, disappeared” Chan said mellowly, you humming in response as you took a final sip of the devil’s juice, already feeling your face heating up.

“h-how does one get out of this place,,, forever i mean” you asked, leaning back against the same wall as Chan and looking right ahead as the song changed to a slower, almost psychedelic beat.

“when said person gets help,,, or starts to feel better or when you hit the casket, three options basically” he says with an acerbic smile. “what? Do you like Changbin?” Chan says teasingly. “you’ve been catching glances at him this entire conversation.”

He was right, you had been glancing over at Changbin occasionally, you couldn’t help it. Was it an excuse for you to look at his cute face from a distance or because you cared about him? You laughed it off but Chan turned serious.

“you know that’s it’s not possible.” he says quietly.

“what? what is not possible?”

“a relationship”

You choked on your own saliva, being blinded by the annoyingly bright strobe lights.

“a relat- ya! do you really think I have time for any of that? besides,,, i’m not really interested in Changbin.”

“who said only you should be interested?”

Your eyes widened when Chan said that. No way could Changbin have these weird feelings to you, the feeling shouldn’t be mutual.

“h-has Changbin said something about you?” you asked timidly, gazing over at Changbin that temporarily made eye contact across the club.

“why don’t you ask him yourself? but i’m telling you y/n,, don't get attached, you will get hurt,,, j-just like i did once”

Sure, you understood what Chan meant. Everyone was here for the time being. One day he could disappear if he decided that the life he was living now either isn’t worth it or he takes control and makes something out of it. There comes a time where you are too tired of living the way you do and so you do something about it, no matter if it’s good or bad.

Changbin waved his hand at you, wanting you to join him behind the bar where now Felix was standing and annoying Changbin by tickling him or whispering in his ear as he moved his body with much fluidity. You smiled, waving towards Chan shortly before you once again made your way through the crowd, feeling lightheaded but in a positive way, as if you really were forgetting reality for a moment.

“y/n!! come!!” Changbin yelled, bouncing slightly to the typical house beat that was now playing, barely holding the bottle of gin since Felix was pestering him playfully. Changbin’s co-worker opened the wooden gate for you, smiling sweetly at you and you doing the same back, your gaze drifting down until you notice the red marks around her throat. You were often scared by people. Not by their actions but by their way to cover them up and of course, you were guilty of this too. Looking at these people you would never guess the pain that was going on inside, the surface level happiness really is surface level. You could smile genuinely towards her, you didn’t have to understand everything she was going through but you knew how it was, smiling when bridges are burning in your mind.

Sometimes pretending hurts more.

“Changbin!” you squealed after you had passed by his co-worker, holding the empty glass that was now nothing more but half melted ice cubes and three wedges of bright green lime. Without thinking you put the glass down on his working station and pull him into a tight hug, squeezing your body against his and feeling the warmth radiate off of him. He froze awkwardly in your arms before loosening up, wrapping his arms around you and ultimately taking in your scent that was now mostly pungent with liquor and sleep, a soft scent that Changbin couldn’t get enough off. You felt safe which was rare in a nightclub especially knowing that most people were either high or carrying weapons. But there was something about him that made you feel like home. It felt familiar, like you’d visited his soul. As if the two of you were sharing the same empty house in your heart despite you never letting anyone in, too scared to be hurt again. Maybe you could let Changbin in, maybe he was different.

The hug lasted longer then you thought, his eyes darting all over the stuffy room before he slowly let go, taking a long inhale of the almost addictive smell. The two of you locked eyes, a shy red tinged his cheeks that was only visible due to there being a spotlight just above him.

“can i talk to you for a second?” you asked, rather boldy which was odd. He nodded and grabbed your wrist only to pull you in behind the same black door where you once ended up in, confused and dazed. He let go of you and closed the door behind him, you standing in the middle of the room that now had tiny light standing on the floor, nothing more new then the same old shelfs and black leather couch.

“what did you wanna talk about?,,, figured you maybe wanted to tell me somewhere more quiet”

‘Quiet’ was an overstatement, the music was making the walls shake and even though it was muffled the jumping of hundreds of people could still be heard in the small dark room where you were alone, with him.

“ehm,,, i don’t know really,,,” you stammered, not knowing what else to say.

“is something wrong y/n? Do you need to be alone for a while? i can le-”

“no, thank you,,, i just wanna be with you.” You interrupted him, his eyebrows furrowing when you uttered the last sentence. He stepped closer to you, the soles of his shoes making a pleasant sound against the floor. You lifted your gaze at him, Changbin standing right in front of you. Beauty that could make you drool. His hair was slightly messy, temples sweaty as he had worked and fetched all kinds of bottles for hours, the grey apron marking his title in the nightclub.

“but i’m here with you! Are you playing some sort of prank on me? did chan set this up?” he chuckled with a smirk, throwing a gaze at the door before diverting it back to your glossy eyes.

“n-no,,, Changbin, I want you”

His mind went blank and so did yours.

You don’t know why you said that but it was too late. The cat was out of the bag. It was too late.

“y/n? are you drunk?” he asked, looking at you seriously and putting the back of his hand against your forehead, suspecting you might be getting sick. You shook your head in response.

“no, it was only one drink, you know? i just,,, kinda,, want you”

You grabbed his hand that was still lingering on your forehead and drew it closer to your heart, holding firmly by his wrist. The clothed valleys of your breasts made contact with the rough palm of his hand, Changbin’s eyes still glued to yours. He scoffed loudly.

“and here i was,,, thinking it was some sort of unrequited love”

It felt like his hand turned into thorns, stinging your heart. So he wanted you too.

Changbin’s hand that rested on your boob snaked upwards, grabbing your jaw as he smiled at you briefly, tilting his head and slowly closing his eyes, attaching his rough lips on yours. Your eyes widened before they closed slowly, eyelashes fluttering in a flirty haze. This was how it felt to kiss someone you loved. It was as if a thousand fireworks ignited inside your beating heart, flying and exploding in an array of colors. A pure lightshow.

Your hands made their way to Changbin’s angular face, cupping his cheeks and feeling his sharp cheekbones against the palms of your hands. Your noses accidentally bumped into each other as your heads tilted from left to right, a sensual pace to the kiss to which the dark haired boy chuckled, adding some laughter to the otherwise grave situation that contained the sounds of two lips smooching each other. The music was only adding to the ambiance, Changbin’s hands wandering and exploring territory on your body that was foreign to him but very well-known to you. Your wet tongues danced around to a serenade, his kiss was strong, sure to leave an unforgettable impression on you. You would want him from now on and forever.

You moaned into the kiss as his hands rested on your ass, groping the flesh that was covered by your pyjamas-shorts. This made Changbin cock his eyebrow, pieces of his slicked back hair falling into his face as making him look like a charming 80′s prince. His fingers danced around the elastic band of your pants, fingers hooking and playfully tugging on the string, a silent plea for you to take them off. You smiled against his lips, saliva exchanging in a heavy and steamy kiss, your cheeks growing warmer by the second.

The two figures melted into one as Changbin pulled you closer to his body, feeling his cock poke through the coarse material of his jeans against your lower abdomen. Good to know that he was enjoying this as much as you were. Your hands descended downwards, traveling along his black tight t-shirt, the jean jacket from earlier being god knows where. The contour of his abs made you smirk, you knew what he was hiding beneath these clothes that you ravenously wanted to tear up. You palmed him through his pants, earning a hiss from the male that panted heavily into the kiss.

You broke the kiss, taking a moment to breathe as your lips were separated by a lonely string of saliva. You grabbed Changbin’s wrist, pushing him down on the leather couch as you straddled his lap, feeling his hard-on against your aching wet cunt. You wanted him so bad and here he was, in front of you for only you to devour. Changbin grabbed onto your hips, pinning them down against his cock and leaning forward to reattach his lips on yours, teeth accidentally clicking against each other moments before your sloppy hot tongues met, feeling his tongue against the soft surface of yours. The sound of lips meeting ringed through your ears, your hips grinding against Changbin’s crotch in a steady pace, feeling your neediness grow. Your hands ran along his abdomen, sneaking them up inside his shirt and tugging on the black material of his t-shirt, pulling it above his head. What was hiding underneath his clothes was more than a pleasant surprise. Your lips moved swiftly against his jawline, peppering kisses on his delicate neck as your hands teased the supple skin of his abdomen, feeling the outline of his muscles against your touch.

Changbin placed his hands near your stomach, pulling your oversized sleeping shirt over your head in the same fashion you did moments earlier. You gasped as the fabric danced over your now hardened nipples, freeing your tits. Of course you didn’t wear a bra when you were in the comfort of your own home but you didn’t think anyone would actually undress you, especially not Changbin. He hummed at the sight, cupping your tits in his hands that were covered in metal rings, feeling the coldness against your heated skin. You shuddered, the sensation shooting down to your dripping core. He kneaded them in his hands as you rubbed against his cock, his boner having a visible outline through his pants, you couldn’t help but to fiddle with his belt buckle, undoing it and hearing the clicking sound of the buckle hitting itself. Changbin pulled away from your swollen lips, tapping you on the thigh to step off in order for him to pull his pants down. You moved to the seat next to him on the couch, the leather sticking back as you laid down, lifting your hips up to remove your pyjama pants along with your panties that quickly hid underneath the fussy pants due to it’s rather interesting print, small teddy bears printed on the fabric. You kicked off your shoes, more like slippers that you wore indoors.

Changbin swiftly pulled down his jeans and black boxers in one motion, throwing them close to your pile of clothes at the base of the couch. Your eyes widened, mouth watering at the pure sight of his cock, a pretty bead of precum decorating his slit, contrasting with the crimson shiny tip. A big gulp descended down your esophagus, heat tinging your cheeks. He chuckled from seeing you stare at his member with shiny doe eyes that reflected in the small lamp on the floor.

“You seem,,, intrigued” he chuckled to which you giggled, not believing that you were really in this small room together with him.

“Y-yeah,,, maybe I am” you snarked, moving your gaze to his eyes and smiling. Only on your way upwards his well-sculpted body did you see the boy holding a small blue plastic item. You furrowed your eyebrows when Changbin opened the packet, retrieving a slightly slippery condom from inside.

“Do we even need that?” you laughed before continuing. “I mean if nothing gets transferred to the real world neither should pregnancies or STD’s”

Changbin tsked, rolling the condom onto his veiny cock, turning slightly away from you to avoid your intense eyes.

“Ask Chan, he would know” Changbin said, turning back to you and making his way over to the couch.

“N-no,,, no way.” You shook your head, your mouth agape as your eyes still danced over Changbin’s buff thighs.

“Yup, knocked up a girl” he said, suppressing a laugh. “And that’s why y/n, you never think with your dick”.

“Being completely honest,,, I expected more from Chan, he seems really,,, responsible” you remarked, Changbin hovering over you and placing a soft kiss on your lips, his hands on either side of your figure.

“He is but I think love is his weak spot or more like,,, lack of love. He often confuses love with either sex, money or fame,,, might I even say drugs.”

You simply nodded not knowing what more to add to the conversation, Changbin’s fingers tracing small circles around your nipples, sneaking them down between your legs where your cunt was aching after him. Anything, as long as it was him. His middle- and ring finger dipped into your heat, feeling the wetness between your folds causing you to hold on to Changbin’s sturdy shoulder. Without warning his fingers entered your dripping hole, fingers curling upwards and grazing your g-spot. You flinched, feeling his cold metal rings against your clit. The dark haired boy shushed, reassuring you that you were in safe hands and that he would make you feel good. Nothing else mattered besides you.

His fingers grazed your velvety walls, thrusting up into your cunt with just enough vigor to make you clutch to his bicep, the firm muscles making you swoon. You whined, spreading your legs even wider, your left leg hanging over the leather couch, sticking to your thigh as your body was heating up from arousal. The wet sounds of Changbin’s fingers playing with your cunt along with your soft whimpers were louder than the music outside, you pressing your head back onto the couch, rubbing your hair on the material. Changbin licked his plump lips upon seeing your face contorting into all kinds of lewd facial expressions, his cock needing to feel your warmth wrapped around it. The pad of his thumb played with your clit, laying it flat against the nub and teasing it in small circles causing tears to prickle in the corners of your shut eyes.

“a-are you alright y/n?” he whispered softly in your ear, kissing the shell of your ear. You nodded, your hands cupping your tits, pinching your hardened nipples, adding pleasure and heat to the burning in your core. Changbin pulled out his fingers, putting the slick covered digits in his mouth and watching you with hawk eyes as he lapped up your juices, humming in delight.

“fuck you taste so good angel” he stated, making you blush, covering your face with your hands. Changbin chuckled, tapping the tip of his dick against your swollen clit and aligning himself with your entrance. You moaned from the sensations, wrapping your legs around him to pull him in, you growing impatient the more he teased.

“p-please fuck me Changbin” you said uttered in a faint voice, barely audible due to the music. It was as if his eyes tinged with a dark color, full of lust. His eyes were hooded, looking down at you with half closed lids, sighing loudly with sexual frustration. He wanted to destroy you, make you his but he had to hold onto his composure. Holding you firmly by your hips he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you, grunting at the warmness that comforted him. You hissed, biting the inside of your cheek, your nose scrunching up at the feeling of being stretched out by his girthy length.

“can I go all the way? does it feel alright?” he asked. You answered with a small “yes”, more worried about the door being unlocked, anyone could burst through the door in seconds only to witness Changbin fucking you on the couch. That thought was quickly wiped from your mind as his cock stuffed into your cunt, your eyes rolling back into your skull as he slowly thrusts into you, using the hands on your hips as a way to guide him, nailing your cervix with each movement. The tips of his ears turned red, the silver chain around his neck reflecting on the dim light in the room as it rocked back and forward above you. You placed your hands around his wrists, looking boldly into his eyes with, a feeling brewing inside you that was hard to describe. It was titillation mixed with yearning. You knew you got him here. He was safe in your arms. You wanted to save him from everything bad in this world but how is that possible when you can’t even save yourself?

“c-changbin” you said in broken syllables, his thrusts only quickening. “changbin!” you repeated, shutting your eyes tightly, curling your toes in pleasure as a string of pretty moans melodically fell from your mouth along with his name. You couldn’t take it, his cock ramming into you in a both mindful and eager manner causing you to claw at his forearms, nails digging into the soft skin. Your tongues were once again caught in a kiss, the taste of your tongue being irresistible to the boy but not sure if it was your love that was drawing him in or the subtle taste of liquor from earlier. His lips felt parched against your, his tongue gliding on your bottom lip before kissing it, his saliva feeling hot in your mouth. The boy above you pulled away for a moment.

“you’re so pretty like this y/n,, fuck, i think i love you”

You gulped but your silence was soon cut off from Changbin slamming his hips against yours, his cock hitting your that specific spot that made you go crazy, the familiar feeling of your orgasm penting up inside you. You moaned with desperation, the lewd sounds bouncing off the dark colored walls. This was music for Changbin’s ears. His grunts accompanied by your whimpers and the squelching sound of your walls engulfing his dick so tightly, the sounds alone was heaven for him. With every move against your body you felt the well-acquainted smell of cigarettes that you could almost feel in your lungs, an addictive scent.

“i love you too, Changbin” you mumbled, slurring on your words from nervousness, feeling shy even though you were naked in front of him. He smiled, peering down at you as his hair fell from it’s perfect gelled state. You smiled softly at him, his cheeks slowly turning a red that matched his lips. Your moans turned to borderline screams, his cock twitching inside of you as he slowly got closer to his sweet release. Clenching around him, Changbin grabbed bent your legs towards you, gently rolling his head backwards as the pace got quicker.

“i’m g-gonna cum! don’t stop!” you yelped, your heart thumping at the speed of light, tiny sweat droplets forming on your forehead. Changbin reached so deep inside of you causing you to thrash around, fiercely trying to grip to the edges of the couch. The burning in your core got intense, it felt as if a thousand stars were falling at the same time, bursting with amativeness. The sudden feeling of warmth took over your body, a pleasant tingle surging. A breathy moan leaving you stunned, grabbing onto Changbin’s hands that were pushing your knees towards you. Just as your orgasm washed over you like a ton of bricks falling to the ground, your body jolted with the last couple of powerful thrusts, a loud gasp slipping from his lips. His girthy cock released it’s seed into the condom, his hot breath lingering near you.

He let go of your quivering legs, them flopping down on either side of him. Your chest heaved up and down as you breathed through your parted lips. Changbin pulled off, carefully removing the condom and discarding it somewhere on the floor. He snuggled close to you on the narrow couch, pressing his sweaty body against yours, taking a moment to catch his breath before speaking.

“So you love me too?” he chuckled. You turned to face him, looking deep into his dark brown eyes that looked pitch black in the dim light. After a loud exhale you answered him.

“No, I think I can’t live without you” you whispered, rubbing the tip of your nose against his. His stable breath tickled against your chin, your eyes slowly closing as Changbin was observing your features that he found insanely attractive. And it was even more attractive that you were his. But this couldn’t last.

“You know this is not possible y/n” he said with sadness in his voice as he gulped, his adams apple protruding. You knew it, the thing you dreamt of wasn’t possible since the two of you didn’t exist in each other's worlds.

“I feel fucking stupid” you said with closed eyes, sighing after your words. Changbin shook his head.

“Don’t give up that easily y/n, we can try”. He was right but what relationship was only visible in the darkness of a nightclub? Only a promiscuous one. Yet, you didn’t want to give up. Not matter what kind of relationship it was you wanted to be with him.

“So,,, what does that mean? That we are-”

“Dating, I guess” he added shortly, the corner of his lips lifting upwards. It sounded weird in your ears. Dating someone you had only met a couple of times but it felt right. This was where you belonged. In his arms, away from all your demons. He truly cared for you, not like the others. He was unlike those in your life that said that they cared but never wanted to know more than the surface level of your character. He wanted to know everything about you. Your hurt, your sorrows, your pain but also your happiness, your joy and your solace. He wanted to know you.

Your hands trailed up and down his upper arms, his skin feeling soft against your touch. The two of you cuddled like this for a while, Changbin running his hands along your hair, its smell reminding him of a green meadow of millions of flowers in all shapes, colors and sizes. He didn’t want to leave but if he wasn’t back in the bar the boys would start looking for him and the last thing he wanted was 7 boys teasing him for getting it on. You were more than a hookup. More than just a fling.

Changbin stood up, squinting his eyes in order to look for his clothes and finding them scattered all over the room. He pulled his underwear and jeans over his lower body before pulling his shirt over his top half, the black t-shirt sitting snugly around his muscles. He ran a hand through his dark hair, shaking his head before smirking at you. Such a tease.

“Do you have to leave?” you asked with a whiny voice, your arms felt empty once again. He nodded.

“i’m afraid so, don’t want them thinking I've been transported back without them knowing, they get worried but that’s only natural I guess.”

You nodded back, putting your cheek against the leather on the seat, your arm hanging straight down, the back of your hand limp against the floor.

“Get dressed if you want to have some more fun or you can chill here for a moment but I have to warn you, that door doesn’t have a lock” Changbin said, pointing at the only door in the room.

“i’ve already noticed that” you remarked, grabbing your panties and only after you’ve pulled them halfway up your thigh did you see Changbin smirking at you.

“You’re cuter than I thought” he said, pointing at your teddy bear panties with his chin, stepping closer to you. You looked away, biting your lip in embarrassment as you felt his hand on your hair, ruffling it sloppily.

“You’re making fun of me!” you said back with a pout, pulling your pyjama pants over your bottom.

“yeah, because you’re adorable” he said, placing a peck on your lips. You wanted more of him. He was simply addictive.

But not even this universe wanted to see you two together.

Your eyelids got heavier, your eyebrows furrowing at the familiar yet distant feeling. It felt unknown until you saw the small specks clouding up your vision once again.

“y/n? y/n, how are you?” Changbin said with worry, grabbing you by your shoulders and looking at your apathetic gaze. “N-no, y/n, don’t leave now”

You didn’t want to but you didn’t decide when you left.

You harshly held Changbin in your arms, putting your forehead against his shoulder, rubbing against it. Changbin slowly put his hands around you, patting your back as salty tears rolled down your warm cheek, putting wet stains on his shirt.

“shh,,, it’s ok y/n, are you feeling dizzy?” he asked carefully to which you nodded mellowly, your bottom lip quivering as the multicolored boxes of light flashed before your eyes. The room felt unstable, like your legs wouldn’t hold you much longer and they didn’t when you collapsed into Changbin’s arms, him holding you tightly to his chest as your knees buckled. Your voice was unstable, a silent cry pleading to be heard.

“I love you” you whispered in a frail voice. The ear-deafening music from outside was tuning out from your hearing, your words slurring at the end as you repeated yourself for the last time.

“I love y-you”

Changbin was left hugging air, his arms empty as he opened his sparkling eyes. He was close to tears because he was left there. Without you.

“HEY! WHERE IS- oh”

Jisung burst through the black door, the six other boys standing close behind him as they looked around the room, eventually catching eye contact with Changbin.

“She went home” Changbin said softly, letting his arms fall to the sides. Jisung inched closer to him, patting him on the shoulder where your tears were still left as a souvenir of your love.

“She’ll come back, don’t worry about it” Jisung said with a reassuring smile, leading Changbin to the door, out of the room that smelled like sex and tenderness.

“Euw,, what is this doing here? Does nobody know how to clean up?” Felix said pointing at the used condom on the floor. Changbin’s face went cold, stopping dead in his tracks.

“is it yours or something Changbin?” Hyunjin laughed, pushing the youngest, Jeongin, in a fit of laughter.

The room went quiet after Hyunjin’s cold laughter. It was pretty obvious.

“YOU FUCKED HER?” Jisung screamed in Changbin’s ear, making him flinch away and holding his ear in pain. The room filled with all sorts of teasing sounds, everything from “ooh~" to “AYE” in obnoxious voices.

“Luckily he used a condom!” Minho snarled, glancing over at Chan that was ready to beat Minho into pulp. Chan sighed, regretting that he didn’t shove the condom in Minho’s smirky face.

“No but seriously you guys, y/n is more than you think. It’s not just another person I fucked, she actually means something to me.”

Just when Changbin thought he had something special some of the boys started laughing even harder, ruffling his hair and poking his cheeks.

“yeah right,,, what? are you guys dating or something?” Seungmin asked, rolling his eyes.

“yes, i’m serious you guys! I love her,,,” he said with a frown, already missing your touch.

“What idiot gets into a relationship 3 months before they have to go to rehab?” Minho says, retrieving a cigarette from the red packaging in the pocket of his leather jacket.

Oh fuck.

Rehab.

When someone recovers from their pain is when you disappear from the club. You are no longer a lost soul. You are no longer lost within yourself. And that’s when you return to the real world, your real world.

Keeping secrets in a relationship was deceitful in Changbin’s eyes. If you belong to someone you should be as transparent as the liquor he poured into his ice cold glass every evening. He felt guilty. You poured your heart out for him, telling him everything that had hurt for so many years and here he was, pretending. He did that a lot, mainly because he was taught to be a reliable man. It wasn’t manly to feel.

Which is why he left his home at a young age. He didn’t care if he worked a minimum wage job and lived in a destitute area, he was content as long as he didn’t live with his parents. But when you live alone it’s not rare that isolation creeps up on you and strokes your cheek with a feather light touch, inviting you over to a dance with the demons that would soon cloud up your mind. Alcohol was Changbin’s comfort. It was the only one that didn’t fail to reassure him. It was as if the bottles spoke to him, promising him that a life intoxicated was better than the life he was currently living.

And he fell for it.

Every time.

He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted to live a life that is actually worth living. Change comes from within but he needed help and he had only recently realized that he had a problem, that these toxic liquids were what’s keeping him from chasing the dream life. He didn’t dream of much, just the average life would be more than enough, with someone he loved.

But what was he supposed to do?

Take the step to recover or continue his addiction for the sake of being with you?

The demons whispered softly in his ears.

Life or Love?

Taglist ; @minholuvs @liz820 @skztrashbag @lix-freckle3

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oitommothetease · 4 years ago

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Invisible String (7/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Word Count: 1.4k words

Bucky had seen a lot in his life, he wasn't the kind of person that was easily shocked by things, but the way he turned his head towards you was enough to prove him otherwise. Your sister and her husband were looking at him, whereas his eyes were focused on you. You looked at him and pleaded through your gaze for him to go along with your charade, and he did.

“Um, yes. I'm James,” Bucky stretched his other hand that was free from your grip towards your sister. “Her boyfriend.”

Your sister took his hand excitedly, “I'm Carol, her big sister. I'm so glad she finally has a boyfriend. Most of them don't last a month.”

“That's not true,” you murmured, hoping no one heard that but, of course, your sister did.

“Oh yeah, Y/N? What was your longest relationship?”

“It was more than a month, okay?” you answered, taking a stand for yourself and Carol arched her brow, folding her hands around her chest for you to explain further.

“41 days,” you stated honestly, your voice dropping an octave with every word you said around your sister. Bucky hated that. He hated that your sister made you feel less about yourself, he hated that this Carol was making the woman he admired feel like shit. He wanted to say something, but your sister started chuckling and your brother-in-law chimed in too. Carol’s husband’s laugh was more out of awkwardness, whereas your sister found amusement in your embarrassed state.

Bucky tightened his palm around yours, lacing your fingers with his, and turned to look at you. “41 days is more than a month,” he asserted in the most monotonous tone, and all the heads turned towards him. You hated his ‘I don't care’ tone, but the way he was addressing your sister with the same tone made you feel like a teenager crushing on a guy who was out of her league. Because that was the truth, if somehow you ignored the whole boss-employee thing and went out with him, sooner or later, he would have realized he's hotter than you, and he could get someone way better than you. Maybe that's why you said no to him. You'll never know the actual reason. But hey, now he's your pretend boyfriend. Surely, that would not end up in a disaster.

Your eyes that were hung low, staring at the floor sparkled with glee, and you raised your head to face Bucky. “I know!” you exclaimed, and Bucky couldn't stop the smile that reflected on his face after seeing you grin giddily.

Carol frowned, and your brother-in-law spoke over, sensing the rising tension in the environment. “Honey, I think we should head over to the hotel.��

Your sister didn't say anything further, she glanced at you and then at Bucky before telling you about their schedule and informing you about yours.

Once your sister left, you dragged Bucky inside your apartment and started pacing around the living room.

“We have to think of something,” you announced, “You could say you have a work thing and skip going with us.”

“That's only going to raise suspicion in your sister's eyes.”

“So what do you want me to do, James? Just pretend that we are together?” You raised your voice in frustration, waving your hands dramatically for extra emphasis.

“Yes,” he answered honestly. Besides the raging crush he had on you, Bucky didn't want you to face your family alone. From what you've told him about them, and now he has seen your sister firsthand, he prefers not to imagine how difficult it must get for you when all of them team up against you.

You looked at your boss for a second before shaking your head. “I can't ask you to do this for me. You've already done a lot.”

“Well, good because I'm not asking either. It's only one weekend, Y/N. I don't mind it,” he assured you, ”Also, your sister is somewhat entertaining.”

You laughed and at that moment Bucky decided that your laugh is the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. Nobody and nothing compared to the way your eyes sparkled with delight, the way your nose scrunches a little, the way your lips extend and almost reach your ears, the way your hand reaches to cover up your cute snort, and the way your chest rumbles with mirth. You had to be the most beautiful sight ever, Bucky thought.

“I'm going to pretend that you did not say the last part because then I would have to hate you.”

“Oh, can't have you hating me,” Bucky mocked, pretending to be scared by wrapping his hands around himself and feigning a shiver. You shook your head in amusement, and Bucky relaxed a bit. He was actually petrified. He genuinely can't have you hating him. It would crush him and his little heart. “I think I should go now, I've got to pack for the weekend.”

“Ugh, this is the worst,” you groaned, “I'm going to throw myself out of the window.”

“Wow, my fake girlfriend has a morbid sense of humor,” Bucky teased, making you smile and you waved your hands in dismissal.

“You have a long weekend ahead of you, Mr. Barnes. If I were you, I'd enjoy my sleep while I still can,” you warned, and he snickered before leaving your apartment.

You exhaled, a smile still lingering on your lips, and you started preparing for the next few days.

***

You insisted on taking your car, but your sister forced you to travel with them, so now it was you and James seated in the backseat of your sister’s car while she listened to some classical music that you had no knowledge of, and her husband kept his focus on the road.

“Y/N, last month me and Nick went to this Opera show and it was mind-blowing.”

You were about to say something like ‘cool’ or ‘nice’ with a fake smile, and end the conversation, but she turned to James and pointed her thumb at you. “Can you believe that this one does not enjoy classical music? When we were kids our parents always listened to some good ol' music, but she would come and play some break-up song by a teenager,” she huffed, “Who even listens to Taylor Swift?”

“I do,” you stated, taking offense that your sister was trash-talking about your favorite artist. It was fine when she said shit about you, but you drew a line when she came for Taylor.

“Of course, you do,” Carol scoffed, shaking her head and looking at your boss/fake boyfriend for assistance in her stance.

“I agree,” James started, making you frown and close your eyes in exhaustion. Your lips turned downwards while your sister smirked in victory. “I mean, Taylor Swift is not just an artist, she is the music industry. Reputation has to be the best album out there.”

“Hey, you were singing a Taylor Swift song that day,” he informed you, and you merely nodded, that night was still a blur in your head.

Carol’s smile faltered, realizing she won't get your partner's support, and you looked at James only to find him already looking at you with pure adoration in his eyes. Your breath hitched and involuntarily your hand went to his, and he quickly held on to it tightly but gently, raising your hand to drop a feather-like kiss on your knuckles.

This, with him, didn't feel like pretending. Everything with James felt so real that you had to remind yourself that you barely knew the man, and he is actually not your boyfriend. That didn't stop your mind from making up scenes and imagining what if this was real. This felt normal, usual but this also made you feel this weird sensation in your chest and caused a flush in your eyes and it was just the start of the weekend.

You didn't realize it at the moment but you were up for the most amazing and devastating weekend of your life.

⁓⁓

A/N- This is more of a filler chapter. Also, Bucky is a swiftie and you can't tell me otherwise haha. I hope you enjoyed it. Take care!!

TAGS: @bananapipedreams @akkinda10 @rivers-rambles21 @emmabarnes @goodcleanfunsis @valsworldofcreativity @boofy1998 @marvel-3407

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #mob!bucky x reader #mobbucky x reader #bucky #mob!bucky #mob boss bucky #mob boss au #mob bucky

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astranva · 4 years ago

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Reason To Hate You.

// masterlist //

Word Count: 5k

Category: Angst

Warning: Some strong language, as usual. Just angsty. It’s good for the skin and some soul cleansing.

Summary: He loves her, but has no time to show it even when she asks him to. But she’s had enough, and Harry writes a song.

Based on Reason To Hate You by Rhys Lewis.

You were sure when Harry sang “comfortable silence is overrated” he wasn’t joking, because maybe your boyfriend appreciated the uncomfortable silence more, or at least he had been showing so.

Familiarity was out of the window when it came to the both of you, because that would be an understatement. Your friends and families had joked about it for the one year and 7 months of your relationship, about how you were one soul in two bodies, how alike you and Harry were and how the differences completed one another.

You knew when he was stressed, sad, nervous, even when he was a combination of every emotion there is and it had always assured you that he, too, knew you like the back of his hand.

One look at you and he’d offer the best support; let it be a shoulder to cry on, a celebratory dance, or a shared cup of blueberry yogurt.

But quietness had barged in like an univited guest, one you weren’t ready for and the more you thought about it, you would have never been ready for it.

Empty was one word to describe it; the bed, the kitchen, the living room, the balcony, the house, the trips to the grocery’s – the relationship.

It began around the time of Fine Line’s release. Biting back your tongue, you had managed to not feel small whenever you listened to all the tracks on there that Harry had on his ex, especially the one that had his ex talking at the end of.

But Harry had showered you with love and assurance, telling you that he couldn’t believe he had ever lived without you by his side and how he had never felt this sort of love with anyone.

You, too, had showered him with affection and the undivided pride you felt for him, making sure all your friends and family purchased the album, playing it at all times, working online so you could accompany him to some of his press because he needed you there with him.

“Mom’s birthday is coming up. I think we should get her that dress she talked about last time, remember it?” You had asked one night as you lied in bed, eyes on your boyfriend as he moisturized his face while standing in nothing but his boxers.

Harry glanced at you before looking back at the mirror one final time before walking to the bed, “I don’t, no.”

“The Marc Jacobs o-“

“When is it?” He rushed, getting under the cover, turning away from you before turning his head back to look at you.

Your lips parted before closing again, before you replied. “Friday.”

“This Friday?” And at your nod, Harry pursed his lips, “I’m sorry, baby, I can’t make it. Have a meeting all day to talk about tour.”

“But H, you knew about this for two weeks.”

“I did?” Sheepishly, Harry asked.

You slumped before shaking your head, “It’s alright. I’ll just tell her you had an emergency or something.”

“You do that.” He nodded, reaching behind him to give your thigh a squeeze, “Get whatever gift you want, pay with my card.”

You didn’t reply, watching as he let his head down on his pillow, back to you as he got comfortable, the only light in the room coming from the lamp on your bedside table.

On the day of your mother’s birthday, you remember the halfhearted smile you offered to her when she asked you where Harry was,

“Says he’s really sorry. Family emergency, but this is from the both of us.” And then you had given her the neatly wrapped present, a card attached to it with a birthday message from you and Harry, only that it was only you who had written it because Harry was up and out of the house the minute you opened your eyes that morning.

And then it happened, again, and again, and again,

and some more.

“Good morning,” you had smiled at him one morning, watching as he rubbed his face before he approached you, capturing your lips in a kiss that had the butterflies in your stomach cheer and dance, “How did you sleep?”

“Fine, love. What about you?” He smiled tiredly, hands on your waist and chin on your shoulder from behind as he watched you flip the cheddar cheese and omelet toast on the pan.

“Great.” You smiled when you felt him rub your skin from over your nightgown with his fingers. You turned off the stove before turning, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck, leaning to peck his lips, “Hey, I know we always get Chinese takeout for our Sunday night date but how do you feel about Thai?”

And instantly, Harry tensed, guilt already taking place on his face and the smile on your face faltered at the change of demeanor, “Y/N, I’m sorry, lovie, I can’t make it tonight.”

“What? Why? We never skip on our Sunday night indoor date.”

It was a ritual you and Harry were devoted to since the very beginning of your relationship, and not once had neither of you flaked on it, always having plans around it but never during it because it was when the both of you would kick your heels up, pig out, watch a movie, talk, and just get ready for the start of another week.

“Told you I’m going to Miami for a few days to meet with the director for Watermelon Sugar, baby.”

“You’re travelling?” You frowned, “You never told me.”

Harry paused, eyes going slightly big before he looked away for a moment before looking back at you, “I’m sorry. It must have slipped out of my mind with how hectic everything has been.”

You didn’t reply, suddenly feeling a tad uncomfortable with your position which had you remove your arms from around him and turn, holding the pan and moving out of his grasp to put the toast on his plate.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. It’s just my job and I can’t reschedule.”

You sighed, feeling as if your heart strings were being tugged at. Nevertheless, you managed to give him a small smile. “It’s alright, H. I understand. You gotta do what you gotta do.”

To be honest, if anyone had a say in this, they’d say Harry took advantage of how accepting you were, but you would never. You would never say – nor admit – that he was taking advantage of all your “I understand”s and “I get it”s, because you knew he was busy. You knew he loved you. You knew it, until you weren’t so sure anymore.

Standing in the corner of Adam and Emi’s living room, you sipped on your Sprite as you watched people from Harry’s band and those behind the album mingle, your boyfriend standing out of earshot but in front of you, conversing with Tom – Kid Harpoon – and Naomi, his hands moving around as he talked which made you smile a little.

“Why are you standing here all lonely?” You felt a nudge to your shoulder before you looked beside you, seeing Sarah leaning on the wall beside you.

You shrugged, “Just watching.”

“You never texted me yesterday after your date. How did Harry react to your dress? Did you end up wearing the white sh-“

“We didn’t go.”

“-oes? Or- Wait, what?” Sarah frowned.

“We didn’t go on the date.” You repeated, avoiding her eyes by looking down at the small soda bubbles in your cup.

“Oh,” Sarah’s shoulders slumped, taking notice of your gloomy mood, “Oh, um,” she cautiously looked at you, “You were dressed.” She mumbled with a frown, genuinely sad for her friend.

You chuckled, putting your weight on one leg, “So was he, but we had different intentions, I guess. He had a meeting with Jeff.”

“Y/N…” Sarah, with a frown, offered a hand of support on your shoulder.

With a small, very fake smile, you looked at her and shook your head, “It’s alright, really. He’s been busy with tour and the press and all that.”

“Doesn’t make him less of an arse, you know?” She raised an eyebrow.

You only chuckled, looking down at your shoes, “Don’t worry about it. Hey, at least I got to watch that show you’ve been bugging me with.”

You were patient; something many of the people you knew in your life always praised, some even were in disbelief at how patient you were with the shit life threw at you. Like that one time your laptop lagged in the midst of your presentation at uni and instead of freaking out, you remained calm, collected and patient, and it was why you ended up acing that presentation.

But that didn’t mean you didn’t feel like crap, because you did.

Since communication was key, you had decided to do just that – communicate. Harry was better than you when it came to confrontation. For a long time, you had trouble with approaching anyone and telling them that things weren’t fine, but as yours and Harry’s relationship blossomed, you learned to.

It was why you had decided against going to bed early one night and opted to stay and wait for Harry’s return, knowing that it was the only time you would be able to see him with how tight his schedule had been.

In a crewneck of his and plaid pj pants, you sat on the couch with a cup of green tea in your hands, watching a talk show that you mentally criticized as shit in your mind before you heard the click of the door.

Taking a breath to steady your heartbeat and breath, you put aside your tea before you clutched your hands together, cracking your knuckles nervously as you heard the sound of Harry’s home sliders against the floor.

His face showed confusion at the light being turned on, knowing that by that time, you usually slept, but he saw you sitting there, too in your head as you looked at your fidgeting hands to notice that he was a few steps away.

“You’re still up.” He stated in surprise, watching your head snap to look at him.

“Um, yeah,” you nodded, “Was waiting for you.”

Unknowing why, Harry smiled to himself as he approached you, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple, “Yeah?”

You nodded, “Can we talk?”

And then his smile slightly faltered, eyebrows furrowing in slight worry before he sat. “Are you alright?” His hand reached up to brush your hair.

You hated how loving he was that moment, how he made you feel. How he showed you care when he was there for a few minutes, but you hated how he had trouble showing you that by making time for you.

“Harry,” you began and he immediately felt like shit because you rarely use his name, “Are you ever not going to be busy?”

“What?”

You felt stupid, not knowing how to articulate how you’re feeling but gave it another go anyway. “It’s just that, you’re never here anymore. It’s always the album, meetings, press, and when it’s none of those, then you’re out with your friends-“

“Is this about me cancelling that date?”

And you knew he was starting to get defensive and you made note that you hated that, too.

“Which one?” You asked tiredly before sighing, turning fully to look at him, “I’m not asking you to choose between me and your job, your life, but I’m just asking you to make time for me. I just feel out of place, Harry, and it sucks.”

“You know this album is important to me, everything about it.”

“And I absolutely love all that for you, I’m so proud of you,” you held his hands, “I just miss you, that’s all.”

“But Y/N, that’s-“ Harry let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes for a moment, “That’s my job.”

“It’s not your job to cancel on our quality time more than twice to be with your friends, all of whom you see everyday.”

“I see you everyday.”

“Seeing me when I’m sleeping or kissing me goodbye is hardly anything, Harry.” You said gently.

He contemplated it, staying silent for a few moments as he looked down at your joined hands. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just, make time for me, for us – please?”

You had kissed then, almost like a promise, and for the first time in a long time, you cuddled.

You wished you received enough assurance that he was trying, wished to see it, but it seemed like too big of a wish to come true.

You had a career of your own, one you were proud of and worked hard for, so when one day your boss asked you to their office to break the news of your promotion, your smile might as well have resembled a painted one like the Joker’s, from ear to ear.

Your colleagues had cheered for you, even interns approaching you to tell you that you deserved it, and they had all decided that a celebration was due. While they were planning for the celebration, deciding that it would take place at a nearby pub the following day as it Saturday and Friday was a good day to recover from hangovers, you took out your phone, composing a text to Harry.

‘H, please be home early tonight. Big news! 🥳 Love you!’

“You sure you don’t want to join for a quick drink? You earned it.” Your colleague Mariah asked as she walked you to your car.

“I’m sure. You go have fun and we’ll meet tomorrow.”

“Hey, tell your boyfriend to tag along!” She said as she waved before leaving.

That day, you went back home, showered and changed before cooking a nice meal for yourself and Harry.

You had checked your phone multiple times, checking if you might have missed a response or missed a call but granted, your phone only notified you of few congratulatory messages from people in your workplace and your family’s Whatsapp group after you had shared with them the news, none from the one person you longed for.

When the clock struck 8 that night, you found yourself grabbing your phone, tapping on it until you were calling his phone. One missed call, you called again and that time, he answered.

“Baby, I’m in the middle of something.” Harry rushed.

“What is it?” You found yourself asking.

“Mate! You fucking cheated!” You heard him laugh, sounds of different people in the background, “Don’t wait up, yeah? I have to go now. Love y-Wait, I’m coming!” And with one final laughter from him – a sound you had always loved and cherished but that moment, it only made you feel like crying – he hung up.

You stared at your phone, eyes stinging and nears getting itchy, swallowing the lump in your throat before you angrily tossed the phone onto the couch before walking to the kitchen to eat your share of the food. No way in hell were you going to sleep sad, angry, and on an empty stomach.

You hated how small you felt, how you felt unwanted in his world. It wasn’t like you wanted much either, just some time.

It was why the following morning as you got ready for your day at work, you might have loudly closed a drawer or two before looking over at Harry’s sleeping figure.

Huffing as you looked into the mirror while adjusting your top, you were unaware to Harry stretching and rubbing his eyes before you heard him.

“Good morning, love.”

Your heart raced, turning instantly to look at him. You tried to smile but when that failed, you turned back to give yourself a final look before grabbing your bag, mumbling a halfhearted “good morning.”

“Leaving early?”

You nodded, “Yeah, I want to grab donuts before I go.”

Harry smiled sleepily, “You usually get them donuts when there is good news.”

“I got promoted.” You said, still avoiding looking at him as you walked towards the door, lingering by it before you finally looked at him, finding him looking at you with a grin.

“Really? Baby, that’s wonderful! Congratulations, Honey. You deserve this. C’mere.” And he opened his arms, making grabby hands at you.

That moment, you also hated how you couldn’t fight the urge to go to him because that was exactly what you did. You walked towards him, sitting beside him and letting him embrace you, peppering kisses on your head.

“I’m proud of you.”

You sighed, wrapping your arms around him as you closed your eyes. “You are?”

“Of course. Always am.”

You smiled, nuzzling your head into his neck.

Harry wasn’t dumb – he felt it. You missed him, and he, too, missed you. He just couldn’t seem to say no to all the plans that he was invited to – except yours.

“They’re celebrating me tonight. Do you want to come?” You said, and although it was a little muffled, he heard it.

“Tonight’s Steve’s birthday. Remember hi-“

“Oh my God.” You rolled your eyes, pulling away from his embrace, shaking your head at yourself before letting out a chuckle, “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“Why? What did I- Y/N, you know I can’t miss it. Steve has helped a lot with the album, it wouldn’t be right.”

“He helped with-“ You laughed bitterly, “Right, and I have never helped you with anything. Nothing at all.”

“Don’t take it like that, Y/N.” Harry huffed.

“I’m not taking it like anything, Harry. It doesn’t matter. Don’t wait up. Oh wait,” you stood, giving him a sarcastic smile, “You never do.”

And with that, you were out.

Any other time, you probably would have felt guilty. You would have felt like running back into his arms the moment he opened them. Only, he hadn’t called you, nor had he opened his arms.

There you were, sitting on a stool at the bar as your friends danced and drank, sulking with an untouched cocktail glass, staring at the door every time someone walked in.

But 7 became 8, 8 became 9, and before you knew it, you had driven one of your very drunk colleagues home at 12 and you were back home at 12:30, too sober for your own liking. That was a pathetic celebration, you thought.

You weren’t sure why but the moment you stepped foot inside your shared home with Harry – it was initially his but by the 12th month of your relationship, he had asked you to move in – you couldn’t stop the tears.

Ugly sobs broke the silence in the house, your body shaking with the extra weight of emotions it carried for months.

Maybe it was because even then, Harry wasn’t home and surely, he wasn’t beside you as your friends celebrated a big event in your life. Maybe it was because you received a notification that Harry had posted to his close friends story list on Instagram, the story being him holding his phone with the front camera, Harry singing along to a Queen song with Alexa Chung as she had one arm around his shoulders, her other hand holding a cup that resembled the miserable cocktail you had earlier to celebrate yourself.

But you were packing a suitcase.

You were neatly folding some of your clothes in it, putting some of your undergarments in the zipped-up area. You hadn’t bothered to quit crying, you figured that you owed that yourself.

One thing Harry didn’t expect to return to was to see you out, closing your car’s trunk as you stood in your black sweatpants and a grey hoodie, comfortable sneakers on your feet and your hair left with no hairbands or as much as a clip as if you hadn’t bothered to do anything with it.

Quickly parking and turning off his car, his eyes had glanced at the time quickly, finding it reading 2:21AM. Harry was quick to get out, noticing your movement to your driver side halt as you heard so.

“Where are you going?” He asked as he approached you, feeling worried and scared as he stared at the back of your head as you were yet to turn.

But you did, and Harry found himself staring your puffy eyes, tears in clouding the color he loved too much and his heart broke.

“I’m leaving.”

If it was possible, his heart would have beat its way out of his chest.

“L-Leaving wh-where? What?”

You sniffled, wiping your eyes with your sleeve, “I’m leaving, Harry. I’m done.”

“Y/N, baby,” he cooed, stepping closer, “Let’s talk, alright?” He gently put his hands on your arms, only to have you shrug them off, breaking his heart even more and causing a lump to form in his throat.

“No! We’re not going to talk, Harry. I’m done talking. I’m done waiting. I’m done being alone in this fucking house – in this- this fucking relationship!” You cried.

“Baby, please,” his jaw clenched as he tried to control his breathing and to push back the tears, “Y/N, please. Don’t do this.”

You shook your head, “I gave you everything. I tried everything and it’s just not working. I’m done giving, Harry. Please, just understand.” You stepped closer to him, cupping his face, “You’re never here for me anymore and I’m done holding on to the ghost of you.”

“What can I do? Anything, please,” his nose reddened, eyes going tearful as he was just about to melt in your hands, watching you shake your head, “Please, lovie, anything.”

“I’m done.” You whispered in the midst of a sob, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “I tried.”

And with that, you got into the car before speeding off, leaving Harry standing there, his heart seeming to wave him off as he watched your car disappear.

He was shit.

He had tried to contact you, even tried to visit you at your work only to get told that you were taking a few days off.

He messaged you everyday for 3 weeks, called and left voice notes.

His friends felt bad for him when they knew, but they felt worse when he broke down one day when his band visited to check up on him,

“If only I wasn’t part of all of this! If you didn’t drag me into all of this shit, she would have still been here! Right here in her fucking home with me!”

“Hey! You got no one to blame but yourself. You’re the one who decided to blow her off every time, even when Mitch and I asked you about her and gave you an earful so don’t fucking put the blame on anyone but yourself, Harry!” Sarah had knocked some sense into him, “I love you and all, but this is all you and whatever will happen next will be you. Don’t wait for anyone to pick up your mess because it’s about time you act and show her you love her.”

He deserved that.

Harry had tried countless of times, visited your old apartment only to face an old man holding a puppy who had no idea who you were.

He found himself sitting in his studio one night – where he slept because he couldn’t bring himself to sleep in your bedroom – his journal perched up as his pen worked on it. It was like he didn’t need to think about it, he went on auto-pilot and before he could realize it, he had written a song.

You weren’t any better. 2 months later and you were still avoiding his calls. It didn’t help that you got another phone and number but kept your old one, only to know that he still remembered you and you felt pathetic for it.

His fans were bombarding you with questions on yours and his whereabouts, saying that you’ve been inactive for way too long and it wasn’t like you to not interact with them, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t pretend that everything was fine when it wasn’t.

By the 3rd month, you began to go other places than your workplace.

You met up with 2 of your friends, giving them short answers and “yeah”s as they talked. With your mind being somewhere else, you unlocked your phone and opened Instagram, checking your explore page.

And there it finally was; a picture of him. His beard and moustache had grown, untrimmed and messy as his hair. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses, yellow sweatpants and a grey hoodie worn along with his running shoes while he walked.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you opened the photo, checking the caption to read it;

‘Harry out a few minutes ago!’

As fresh as your favorite home baked pastries this photo was. Your eyes moved from him to the shop behind him, zooming with your fingers before letting out a gasp.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” One of your friends asked.

“I have to go.” You quickly said, slinging on your bag before you shot out of your seat and outside, frantically looking left and right before walking towards the shop you had seen in the picture.

You didn’t even know what you were doing. Hell, you shouldn’t have been doing that, looking for him like that.

You panted, reaching up to place a hand on your rapidly beating heart as you stood in front of the shop.

God, you felt stupid.

“Y/N…”

You heard it, then you felt it; his hand, gentle on your shoulder.

You turned, coming face to face with the man you had sworn up and down was the love of your life – and you knew he still was.

He snatched off his sunglasses, as if they played a trick on him but they weren’t because you stood right there.

“You’re here.” He breathed out.

Harry’s green eyes were staring into yours, hand still on your shoulder.

At the feeling that rushed through you; one that made you feel that one more minute and you would be in his arms, kissing him and going back home with him, you slowly shook your head. “I have to leave.”

“No, please, please, a minute. Just a minute.” Harry pleaded with wide eyes, desperation in his voice.

“If I stay for one more minute, I won’t control myself. Please let me go.” You closed your eyes as you spoke softly.

“I can’t.”

“You can. You did it more than once.”

One final jab to his heart, you turned, rushing to cross the street before getting in your car.

The news of a sudden single drop was everywhere.

Friends and family texted you to ask if you had heard the song, most asking you to “please talk it out with Harry, he seems really sorry.”

Your coffee, sat waiting for you as you read the wave of tweets that crashed on you from fans, most of asking you what your friends and family asked of you, some others apologizing on his behalf, some others questions if the song was about you to begin with, and some others giving you shit for “breaking Harry’s heart.”

You were quick to click on a YouTube link that was attached to a tweet of a fan reacting to the song, sitting up straight and suddenly feeling nauseous as the screen changed.

Harry Styles – Reasons To Hate You.

Your stomach dropped as you saw him. In a white tee and black shorts, his hair was held back with your light blue clip while he sat in a chair behind his mic in the comfort of your home studio, holding the black guitar you had gifted him for his 26th birthday.

“Can you just lie to me

And ruin these memories

'Cause I've gotta forget somehow

So I'm begging you, burn us to the ground,” Harry sang as he played the guitar.

“Cause I know it's over

But I don't know what to do

So help me get over

Help me get over you,”

With no intentions to stop the tears, you let yourself cry, reaching up to stifle a sob by putting a hand to your mouth.

“And tell me you love somebody else or something

Or say you've been unfaithful to me

'Cause I need a reason to hate you, a reason to let you go

A reason to move on 'cause without one I know I won't

So tell me you love somebody else or something

Or say you've been unfaithful to me.”

He had looked up to his camera, and as he did, you felt like he was physically there and singing for you.

“Where do we go from here?

Do you just disappear?

'Cause I don't think I can be your friend

When it feels like the break isn't gonna mend.”

You stopped questioning your moves, and as proof, you had no idea what you were thinking when you grabbed your car keys and bolted out of the studio apartment you had rented, the song still playing.

“'Cause even after all this time, I'm hoping I can change your mind

'Cause hope's the only open door left to choose

So let me out for good because I know that I'm not strong enough

To stop myself from feeling things for you

So don't give me the truth.”

And you drove to him, right back to your home.

The song had replayed itself 4 times before you were finally out of your car and rushing to the door, ringing the bell and knocking, cursing yourself for forgetting your keys back at that apartment.

The door opened and there he stood, in the same clothes with the same clip holding back his hair.

Harry didn’t have time to comprehend before you threw yourself at him, crying into his chest.

“You’re such an asshole.” You cried, “How can you release something like that, you shit?”

He held on to you, hiding his face in your hair as he took you in.

“Next time, even an album won’t bring me back, you understand?” You mumble, feeling his arms tighten around you as he kissed your head then shoulder.

“There won’t be a next time.”

#wellbeafinelime #reason to hate you #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fiction #harry styles angst one shot #angst #angst imagine

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jean-does-not-have-a-horseface · 4 years ago

Note

Would you do a Jean x Reader x Reiner one? The reader felt so betrayed by Reiner being a titan shifter and when he left she felt so confused whether she can loves him or not after finding out the truth. Jean comfort her and they eventually fall in love. Or you can do a modern au one where Reiner cheated on the reader and Jean begin to see his chance with the reader then they both had a relationship. But she still can't forget Reiner. I truly love your writing! Have a good day ! ♥

i was wondering if you could do a modern au jean x reader. where the reader is very stressed for a test of some kind, and jean and the reader end up skipping the test and spend the whole day together instead, where towards the end of the day jean confesses his feelings for the reader. a lot of fluff please if you could i am obsessed sorry by @cj-sparkss

A/N: So i decided to merge those two requests because they fit really good together in my head! I hope ou guys like this! I strongly recommend listening to any song in Halsey's album, Manic while reading.

Pairing: Jean/ Reader, some past Reiner/ reader if you squint

Tags: college!au, art school au, fluff all the way

Warnings: Jean being way too cute for his own sake, seriously

Sketches Of You

Your head was burning.

Your eyes were stinging; tiny little little blood vessels were popping here and there, throbbing profoundly as they merged together, rushing their way to your irises. You didn't know for how long you had been awake, mostly because a few days had passed and you didn't remember falling asleep or waking up on your once comfortable desk chair.

Before you laid numerous books open in different pages, most of the writting they held emphasized by your favorite pastel highlighter. What felt like your lamp buzzed, burning a canary yellow light over the mahogany material of your desk, warming up the spot where your hand used to lay. A pen in your hand was all you could bring yourself to hold with your numb, frozen fingers, the plastic edges of its tube sunk into your skin, carving bumps to mark their spot in your hand.

Wait, oh no, you thought as you looked around this wasn't your dorm, this was the university's library.

The library around you was extremely quiet as you laid face down on one book, your mouth slightly part and your lips dry save for the little ribbon of drool that moistened a line down your right cheek. Only for one more minute, you told yourself, deciding to shut your eyes together just to allow them sometime to rest, ignoring how such request was what had caused you to drift off to such extend in the first place. Stinging tears escaped the corners of your eyelids, signifying how tired and dry your irises had grown to be. Letting out a huge sigh you tried to lift your head, at least this could be an attempt to get your life together for the day.

Your scattered books came to close quietly under your palms, the numerous pieces of papers and notes being tucked messily in between pages, your own fatigue causing you to break your own rules when it came to being as neat as you could with your notes. Another sigh left you as you sank into the back the plastic chair, your books firmly standing on top of eachother and into your palms.

This test was going to end you. You knew it. Despite having tried to memorise all the information that was required for you to even try to get a five -seriously, a five would be absolutely godsent if you could at least get that grade- all you were left with was your brain feeling mushy and muddy without any actual knowledge of the subject you had been studying for. Why on earth was gothic architecture an essential class in your first year in art school was beyond you. Was this university never supposed to let you graduate on top of trying to prevent you getting in for numerous years?

Resisting the urge to scream or pull your hair off your head you decided that it was time to get up, your knees straightening slightly at the your brain's command, only to be sent back into the blue plastic of your chair, your whole body growling in fatigue. Your chest heavied as you let out a whine, bringing your hands to your eyes to scrub away the stinging ache you were feeling.

"You good?"

Your head turned to the direction of the voice maniacally, your eyes shooting wide as you practically ripped your hands off of your face. Looking up, your (e/c) orbs met with hazel ones, little specs of yellow and green stared back at you through thick eyelashes, adorned with a complex of worry plastered on dark chestnut eyebrows.

"Yeah Jean, I'm just studying."

"Oh it's Mr Ackerman's test right?"

"Hm" you hummed in response, another whine coming out of your lips.

"Yeah I remember how that class went for me. He's pretty nice if you get to know him though. I have to submit a few sketches for tomorrow, can I sit with you or were you leaving?"

"No, I'll keep you company, I need a break from whatever.." your eyes wandered at the books in your hands and the numerous note sheets peaking out from anywhere you could lay your gaze on "..this is."

Extending a hand Jean reached out for the head of the chair right next to you, pulling it back in order to let himself sink into the dark blue plastic seat, similarly to you. His lips pushed into a thin line as he looked at you, his cheek puffing up in the action. A hand came to your shoulder comfortingly as another one pulled out his sketchbook from his run down and way too littered with dry paint tote bag.

"Are those for Moblit's workshop?"

"Mhm." Jean confirmed. "You got any 0.8 tipped inks?"

"Yeah, I do."

Setting the leather covered sketchbook on the mahogany table Jean turned his head to you again, pointing his eyes onto the black pencil case in front of you. In response you shrugged your shoulders, your palms shooting up to your eyes once again. Jean's hand grabbed on your case, his long fingers digging through the numerous inking pens and markers that overlapped each other.

"I can't believe you have the Sakura Pens when you know I don't like them." Jean whined, hands roaming through your belongings still.

"Jean," you said, a deep chuckle escaping you in the process "I happen to like them, you know."

"They're yikes."

"You just can't use them correctly."

"How do you use an inking pen correctly. Enlighten me." Jean mocked, his fingers throwing signs in the air to accentuate his words.

Resting his head on his fist Jean opened his sketchbook, swiping through numerous ivory cold pressed pages, filled with inked sketches. Your eye twitched as you tried to keep up with many of the drawings you could spot; you had seen the contents of this sketchbook a thousand times, admiring Jean's skill with ink. His professor, Mister Moblit had one of the most interesting workshops for students who specialised in inks, and you aspired to take his classes in your following year in art school, supposing you could pass your classes this very semester.

"What are you supposed to be drawing?"

"Anything, mostly things that make us feel like they are important to draw." Jean said.

"Oh and library is important?"

"Sasha said you'll be here, so yup. And I want to draw my hands actually "

You clicked your tongue, shaking your head in borderline disbelief. Honestly, if you weren't that bummed about your test and your recent break up you could have laughed at Jean's sly arrogance. Your eyes traveled to Jean, examining his quiet form as he studied his palms. Inevitably your eyes studied them as well.

His fingers were long and tan and harsh to look at, scrapped in most places with tints of Indian ink. They stuggled to manage with your pencil case, his pinkies and thumbs couldn't even begin to fit in the little object and it made you wonder how he even managed to work his inking pens correctly with such enormous hands. Some veins popped from here and there, accentuating his bulky joints perfectly; they run from the back of his palms to his wrist, mingling with more of their blue kind in his calfs and biceps. The occasional blotches of dried paint were decorating them. Even some paint covered hairs spiked as the light contracted his form.

You smiled miscellaneously.

Your own finger traveled without remorse towards them, poking at a few hairs that were littered with paint. By pinching one, Jean shot back in half pain, his brows furrowing in confusion as he stared at you. "Hey, what they fuck!"

"You do that to me all the time when i have paint in my hands!" You half laughed, shooting him a mocking furrowed look as well.

“You’re so cruel!” Jean grinned.

“To pay you back with your own penny right?”

Jean cocked his eyebrow at you, a few lines begging to make an appearance on his forehead. He shook his head a couple of times, throwing a few shaggy strands of hair away from his face, his forehead immediately lighting up as his ashy blond locks overlapped just above his ears. You mimicked him, using a hand to move your feathery bangs away from your face as to not have them intertwining with your vision.

Jean brought a digit to his mouth, biting at the bulky knuckle while wrapping his lips around it to suck at the sore spot, dramatically mourning the loss of one single hair. It made you laugh harder than it should have and you told him off, quickly grabbing his hand by the wrist to pull it further away from his mouth.

"Ew you idiot are your hands even washed!? Don't put them in your mouth!"

Jean's smile faded gradually as he nodded its only reminder remaining in his eyes as they softened with each passing second they looked at you. You bobbed your head to the side, taking in the way he was looking at you and you felt your gut grunting in the anxiety you had managed to drown at one time.

You definitely knew that look.

"So how are you after... The whole Reiner thing?"

When Jean let the sentence out, he instantly regretted it. Biting back the inside of his lip, his teeth dug into his soft, fleshy gum, the tiny specks of spiky under lip hair he had poking through his chin. You could see the regret plastered on his face, yet you ignored it with a sigh, pushing your stern further back into the chair again.

Of course Jean would ask about that. Reiner and you had broken up a little less that a month ago and it was stressful enough to send your anxiety over the roof. Coming home to find him drapped in the sheets with someone else was still burning through your brain like a hot iron, marking the fleshy crevices by piercing your skull.

Jean and you hadn't had a chance to talk about your break up yet; in the midst of it being a spontaneous reaction to Reiner's anathema and your upcoming mid-terms, you had chosen to indulge yourself fully with the everlasting pleasure of delving into studying.

And now, as you tried to utter your awaited words your stomach clenched at the foreshaken memory that you had tried to bury in the depths of your soul, your hands sweating just a tiny bit as you gulped down on some saliva to dumpen your dry throat. Jean's hazel orbs were set on you with curiosity and reluctance, his skin tingling inside his crewneck sweater.

"I mean, Eren told us about it and then we fought on who would punch Reiner first you know."

You oggled at him as he spoke awkwardly, your lashes batting rapidly as a wave of confusion washed through you.

"You don't have to hit Reiner you know, we all make our choices and he made his."

"Ah," Jean sighed heavily "I suppose so. I'm here for you though, you can talk to me."

"You're actually doing an assignment at the moment" you said and pointed your finger onto his sharp nose, giving him a playful push to the side. "No need to talk about my sorry love life."

"Your love life isn't pitiful, don't talk about it like that!"

"It's not pitiful, just sad." You sighed, reaching out to your pencil case. "Just sad."

Your fingers run through the case even though your eyes weren't fixated on the action, your sense of touch working its way to let you know which object you were seeking. The tips of your fingers caught on the thick Posca marker quickly and you locked it in a grasp between your pointer and middle finger, bringing it up through the zip up opening.

"Give me your hand." You ordered at Jean as you clapped your fingers to your palm in a 'come here' motion.

"It could always get better you know." Jean spoke and threw his hand to you.

Slowly the cap was off the market with a snap and you slid it up towards it's butt to pop it on there as to not lose it in any case it feel off of the desk and onto the mosaic floor.

Jean's nose lit up in a faint scarlet and his ears followed right next, lighting up in a deeper shade of the color on his nose which made his hand snap away from you in a matter of seconds. With puckered lips he stared at the corner of the room that was in the opposite direction of yours, his gut drenching him in short tempered anxiety.

"You done painting my nails with the posca pen?" Jean remarked, lips still puckered as he turned to face you. "When's your exam?"

"Three o'clock."

"Wanna ditch?"

Your eyes goggled in his for a second. The luminous morning light that peaked through the library binds fell onto him dearly, caressing a few of his features in a lemony colored mellow way, your gaze traveled into anywhere on his face as you tried to examine his expression while your gut was beginning to churn at the sly thought of agreeing with his query.

Weighting your options wasn't a seriously hard thing to do; if you took the test you were most likely going to fail, but if you didn't take it you'd have to live with the guilt of not even putting the minimal effort in it for a few weeks. But, you had tried so hard to pass all of your other classes so why shouldn't you slack off for one that was bound to end in a fiasco?

You found yourself nodding to Jean before you could actually give more thought to it. His face immediately lit up, ashy blond locks flying over his eyes as he shook his head in excitement. With one move his sketchbook was closed again, left to mourn over the non existent scribbles Jean could have made during all this time he was sitting next to you.

The hard cover protected sketching pages were thrown into to his tote bag once again, the sound of the sketchbook colliding and clashing with a few more objects he had in the bag filling the silent air of the library.

"Put your books in here!" He offered, opening the sides of the tote bag right on front of your face, signaling you to do as he suggested.

By taking a long sigh you took a turn in throwing your books and pencil case in the bag, one object following another on the pursuit of finding their own place in Jean's crammed bag. A shy smile adorned your features as you looked at him, the mischievous little devil on your shoulder smiling proudly at your actions as if you were a high schooler skipping school.

_____

Black Cat was a notorious cafe among art university students for numerous reasons. For example, it featured a decent amount of of beautiful contemporary art that was meticulously merged with the soft, cobblestone-cottagecore-home-during-the-winter aesthetic and all of their tables, stools and booths were artist-friendly to the max. Additionally it played Nirvana and Metallica for most of the day and on top of that they actually had a chunky and extremely cuddly black cat roaming around the store that you often found on your lap during your time there.

Oh, and the batwoman made amazing custom cocktails.

Really was there anything else anyone needed in a store?

The soft tangerine light flickered open as the sun outside started to hide it's shy low lights under the peak of a mountain you couldn't recall the name of, the soft smell of apple pie filling your nostrils as you sipped lightly from your earl gray tea occasionally, stealing a few glances of Jean's focused expression. A knowingly half smile went up to your face as you looked at the scenery outside before fixing your eyes back onto the bright screen of your phone.

Jean cooed in his leathery chair for the upteenth time today, his gaze fixated on the sketchbook on his hands. You had spend last hour in absolute silence; you had decided to roam around in your phone for references for an assigned collage you had to do in Photoshop as Jean had settled on drawing the horizon from outside the window to practice on his perspective while finishing up the sketches he had to submit.

Your day had passed by pretty fast; you had visited an urban side of the town that was flooded with art supply stores and you had delved into every single one roaming around to find any kind of supplies you were short on, or just generally needed. As Jean correctly had said, you are always short on art supplies.

Thus, you had ended up with a bag filled with complementary acrylic colors in tubes of 20ml mostly because they costed a dollar each, and also because as art students you got to receive twenty percent off of all your supply bills. Jean had only bought a new set of watercolors and a few Edding inks and 0.7 tipped poscas, as he was sure he would ruin your expensive Sakura Liners in his attempts to finish his project.

Then you had decided to cram your place for some much needed lunch before heading off to Black Cat to have some tea and coffee while Jean would finish off his last few of the sketches he had been drawing throughout the day.

"So" Jean awkwardly spoke as in to break the deep silence, his thumb pressing over the edge of the page his drawing was placed as he closed the sketchbook carefully "I wanted to ask, because ahem, I'm your friend and I'm worried about you... Do you want to vent about Reiner?"

"Ah, no" you shook your head and fixed your gaze onto the auburn colored liquor in your cup as you reluctantly lift it up to bring it to your lips before speaking "I mean, I got so sad you know. And I haven't gotten over it, of course, I mean I liked Reiner. A lot."

"I came see it in your eyes. But I'm here for-"

"And he's a bitch you know? He could have told me if he was bothered by anything I did or if it wasn't going well for him. I'd gladly work anything out or even break up peacefully."

"You know," Jean sighed, he too bringing his cup of coffee to his lips to take a sip before gulping it down. "My opinion is obviously biased here, but I support you. I've took a psychology class and we were actually delving into as to why some people cheat, there are many reasons as to why it could have happened."

Your heart slightly aches as you looked at him, a few veins in your hand twitching slightly as he continued rambling about all things he had grasped from his class. Your stomach growled angrily in anxiety, warning you to put an halt to your friend's words but you couldn't bring yourself to do so.

Not knowing the reason as to why Reiner had chosen to see someone else behind your back had hurt you beyond repair. Deep inside you still felt the need to get some closure, although with your stress on your exams you had been sure you would most likely give in to anything Reiner would say and this wasn't who you were.

You could go on without having any closure, it shouldn't have mattered so much to you in any way.

And to some extent it didn't.

"I'm hurt, but I'm the other hand I don't really care about anything you know?"

"Mhm, yeah, look at you getting over it so quickly!" Jean said semi enthusiastically. "You need to be able to share your pain in order for it to become small and eventually non-existent."

"You know, for someone who takes such sophisticated classes you talk like you haven't slept in ages!"

"Give me a break, as if you don't."

The two of you burst into bubbling laughter, your chests heaving and falling as the sounds of joy left you one by one. Jean's hand had come to rest on top of yours softly, giving you a couple of squeezes as his eyes squinted in synch with yours.

And then, in a moment that seemed like it was forced out of a coffee shop au fanfiction, Jean's hand rubbed a few soothing circles over yours. Slowly his laughter was begging to set into a silent harmony, the woody brown specs of his eyes providing the slightest tint of warmth into his gaze.

"This is why I love you so much."

The choice of words was supposed to be naive whether it was intentional or not, or that's what you tried to tell yourself because you thought you knew Jean better than anyone. The look in his eyes, the soft upwards curves of his eyebrows, the way his top lip overlapped go bottom one as his eyes glimmered into yours; this wasn't a very casual look for Jean, it was the look he had on when he was looking at something that mesmerised him. And you knew he meant exactly what he had said.

But did you like Jean?

Well, was there anyone who could spend so much time with Jean and not fall for him, even without realising it?

At one time it had become obvious that he liked you, although he'd never act upon it. You knew it in his movements, in the little ways he looked at you or cared for you like no one else actually did while hiding behind the mask of being a friend. Eren had been one to tease him for it restlessly and you had been able to catch upon that too but you had never let it be known that you had been able to see through his facade.

"Forget it I shouldn't even have had-"

With curious eyes you stared back, your gaze never truly leaving him. When he suddenly shook his hand off of yours you found your other hand pressing on top of his, trapping the limb in place as you tried to open your mouth to utter any word. It was still hard to find the right choice of words, ones that wouldn't hurt to be heard.

"Jean... I-"

"No, forget it, it just slipped, shit."

"Look Jean shut up for a second please I want to speak okay?" You huffed half playfully, despairate to stop Jean's mumbling "I know."

"You know?" Jean cursed under his breath.

"Yeah, I do, it's obvious. And I've had this huge crush on you ever since fifth grade you know? I never really got over you because I spent all of my teen years thinking we'd end up together."

You watched as Jean's face lit up at your words, a new glimmer adorning his eyes just as the sky turned a sheer violet as the sun retreated deeper into a non visible horizon.

"And then we kissed in eighth grade and we fought about it and we stopped hanging out because I asked for space since I just could believe what was happening. But we're friends again and it's the best thing to happen to me in years."

You continued, your hand never leaving his while soothing circles were rubbed onto his palm.

"But I'm not going to ask you for space this time."

"You're not?"

"No. Just a little patience. I'm still getting over Reiner and I don't want to be unfair to you and rip you off of something that you might ask from me."

Jean snapped his hand away from yours and you retreated your hands back to yourself shyly, a bitter mouth leaking into your mouth as you tried to swallow it down fast to no avail. Somehow your heart felt a strong stinging, the pulling of your heartstrings at steak while your heart was sprawled before you.

Was that your last chance with Jean? You had told yourself that time and space between you would be right one day, but that day seemed to stray further away now, slipping right off your hands because you couldn't forget Reiner fast enough.

"I'm not fourteen anymore, so don't be afraid about me straying away. I just wanted to show you something."

Jean's worked through the pages of his sketchbook, taking a few seconds before they landed where they wanted to. Flipping the sketchbook to match your point of view, he revealed the sketches he had been scribbling all day. They depicted you in majority. The look on your face as you picked a tube of paint, your hands as they grabbed through numerous brushes and sketchbooks. Even the way you stared at your phone as you sat across him was perfectly sketched on the paper and hatched in indian ink, adorned by Jean's raw drawing style.

"Jean, that's me!"

"Mister Moblit told us to draw things that were personally important to us. So, I hope you don't mind."

Damn, you felt like tearing up.

In the midst of trying to get your stupid heart to calm down from the impossible rhythm in which it was beating at and stating at Jean's sketches so hard that your eyes felt like they'd pop out and any given moment your would felt like setting fire to your whole being while your tears were restlessly trying to put it out. It was even outdated to feel like that about Jean, your younger self told you but there was no way you could help it.

With rivers of tears running from the corners of your eyes you looked up at the hazel orbs that were set on you, feeling your heart want up by their luminous gaze.

"Jean I-"

"Shush, you don't have to say anything. Just let me know if I can hug you."

"I'd love that." You said shyly under your breath.

Next thing you knew Jean had gotten up from his seat and had plopped himself right next to you, pushing your head deep in his chest. The song in the background faded gradually as you felt serenity wash through you, despite your heart hammering in your chest beyond a point you could actually feel it.

And for now all that mattered was that you could listen to Jean's heart beat nearly as fast as yours while his words played inside your head.

Maybe, just maybe time and space between the two of you was right this time.

taglist: @sasageyowrites @levisbrat25 @ackermans-freedom-inc @melancholicmonologue @berrijam @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore

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goldencherryhazz · 4 years ago

Text

Shower

A/n: just a short smutty piece for you with a shitty ending. And once again I could not think of a title. Notes would be much appreciated! Pls don’t copy my work!!

Warning: smut, shower sex, fluff, swearing

Soapy suds littered your soft skin, the warm water of the shower cascading down your body, trying to wash away all the grogginess from being on a 9 hour flight from LA back to London. You felt amazing, not only because of the warmth spreading throughout your body but the fact that you had just traveled the world with your boyfriend Harry, you got to watch him perform practically every single night in the most flamboyant outfits singing his absolute heart out.

It was the best decision you’ve made, you’d decided your job had been made remotely accessible so how could you say no, being Harry’s second solo tour he had to admit that he was nervous even though he had toured countless times before, it was just that Fine Line was so raw, the rawest he’s ever been, there were a lot of his emotions harboured into every song but most of all he was more afraid that people wouldn’t like it, but you had comforted him along the way, which he was so grateful for having you there with him, instead of talking and maintaining your relationship through a tiny screen.

Sometimes you would have to grab both of his cheeks when he was overthinking and a little panicky pacing up and down his dressing room before a show ‘do you hear yourself, you’re being silly, that album is so beautiful and you are so so beautiful H inside and out, as long as you are happy nobody can tell you your not successful’ or something along those lines. Your last sentence was memorised in his head from the moment you said it even mentioned it in his Zane Lowe interview, it just meant soo much and grounded him erasing all of his worries, because it was true, his passion always laid with music it was a release for him the and it truly did make him happy even at the worst of times.

You are distracted from your thoughts when you hear the bathroom door creak open and a not even moment later Harry was walking into the room a little out of breath, he instantly started stripping. You chuckled at him, he had told you to take a shower whilst he sorted all of your twos luggage, and you knew he had done it as quickly as possible so he could get in the showers with you, hence why he was out of breath.

‘What are you laughing at’ he said trying to get his leg out of his jeans.

‘You’ by now Harry had flung his boxers onto the floor along with all his other clothes, and you couldn’t lie that you looked him up and down, all in naked glory.

‘You know my parents taught me that staring is rude y/n’ you looked at him in slight shock not realising that you had been staring at him, but you quickly conceal it.

‘M’not staring’ you say innocently

‘Then what are you doing’

‘I’m admiring you’ he chuckled at your response.

He steps into the showers and under the water towering in front of you, ‘and do you like what you see baby?’

You hide your face into his chest at his question, you know he already knew the answer but he wanted to hear you say it. ‘Don’t hide away from me, gimme a kiss’ he lightly grips your chin so that you would look up at him your eyes instantly lock with his green ones.

You clasp your hands behind his neck tangling you fingers in his now wet curls, moving to catch his lips in yours the mint from the gum he chews and the remnants of his cologne on his skin invade your senses. He brings his hand to the side of your jaw stroking it with his thumb, his tongue swiping your bottom lip, you gladly grant him access.

You start to feel a nudge on your thigh and you don’t have to look to see what I was ‘someones a little exited’ he smiles into the kiss ‘not had a proper fuck in ages my love, wanna feel you’ it was true that you and Harry hadn’t been properly intimate since being on your. Yes, you had had sex but only quick fucks here and there, Harry being busy all the time and then when it was time to go back to wherever they were staying he was utterly exhausted, but who could blame him, being a singer is very tiring work. Having sex on tour had fully satisfied your exhibitionist kink though, having quick sex before a show trying to keep quiet whilst there were people working away outside and always the possibility of someone walking in, cause Harry had a thing for forgetting to lock the door it was as if he wanted that to happen, which to be fair would be something Harry would do being the little shit that he is, and now that you were at home it felt so different, you could moan as loud as you wanted without anyone hearing you, and you could fuck in any room of the house without a care in the world.

‘Hmm, want you in my mouth’ you say biting his top lip ‘I have another idea sweet girl, and it involves a showers head’ you moan at this already knowing where this was going. ‘Do you want me to make you cum with the shower head darling’

‘Yes please H’ you clit tingling in anticipation, he quickly grabs the retractable shower head off the holder and sits down on the little bench along the wall, then gesturing for you to come sit, which you do turning around you ass on full show to him, so he couldn’t help himself when he gave each of your cheeks a small slap making you let out a quiet yelp, he just loved the way your ass jiggled.

As soon as you are seated in his lap, with your back against his chest he brings an arms around your middle to secure you from slipping. He then brings the shower head between your legs, the sound when his fingers intricately changed the setting to jet made shivers run up your spine ‘you ready sweet girl’ and before you have time to answer he aims the strong jet of water onto your clit, making you almost clamp your legs shut at the suddenness, you moaned uncontrollably at the way he ran the water in small circles almost to replicate the way his fingers would rub circles on your clit when you were close to cumming. ‘Feels soo good H’ your legs threatening to clamp shit once again, which Harry notices and quickly shoves your legs to the outside of his so that when you tried to clamp them shut again his legs would be able to stop the action. When the water hits a particularly sensitive spot on your clit it makes your back arch against him, your head falling into the crook of his neck, where he presses we kisses to your jaw. ‘Like the water on your pussy, don’t you’ he moans into your ear, his cock slightly rutting again to slope of your back to try and relieve some of the pressure.

‘Fucking love it’ you say frantically already being so close to the edge. ‘Bet your going to cum for me soon, can feel how your tensing up, knuckles are white from grabbing the bench too darling, so just let go, no need to hold it cause if you think this is the only time your cumming tonight then you are oh so mistaken baby, gonna have you screaming for me so much the neighbours are gonna get sick of hearing my name’ your on the edge now, legs shaking slightly you just need another gentle nudge and you will collapse, and as if Harry can sense it, he hovers his mouth over your ear his hot breath making contact with your cool skin ‘go on baby, cum for me’ and with that you are cumming, your back arcing impossibly more so much you thought you were going to break it, you hole pulsating rapidly, struggled breaths make it past your lips. Harry circles the jet around you clit a few more times before it all becomes too much for you, already growing incredibly sensitive, you push his hand away and Harry gets the message, immediately turning the settings so he could place the shower head down without it spurting water all over the room.

‘How was that baby?’

‘Felt really good, but I really would like your cock inside of me now’ your forwardness making him rut his hips against you back once again. You had only just cum and you were very sensitive but all you wanted right now was to be filled to the brim with your boyfriends cock, and who was he to deny you. He lifts you off his lap so that you would stand up so that he could do the same,he places the shower back in the holder and then immediately pulls you in for another kiss as if he had been deprived even though it had probably only been 5 minutes, seconds later you back hits the wall, the cold tiles against your skin making you hiss but also become a lot more horny the fact that Harry would inevitably be fucking you against that wall in the next few minutes. His hand run ups and down your body, making sure to touch every square inch of you skin, his hand starts to go lower and lower until the tips of his fingers come into contact with you pussy, still slick from your juices he runs them through you folds, making you jerk against him, a chuckle emitting from his lips ‘steady on there love’. He then brings his hand up to his mouth sucking in his fingers, then kissing you even deeper than before making sure that you got a taste of yourself ‘always taste-soo-fucking-sweet my sweet girl’ he manages to get out between heavy kisses. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders you trace shapes onto the back of his neck, the sensation making him feel all fuzzy and all the more desperate to be inside you ‘jump’ he utters. Immediately making you wrap your legs around his hips, and the second you do you slip slightly, a yelp emitting from you lips but Harry’s hands come under your thighs securing you in his grip ‘don’t worry, would never let you fall my love’

‘Hmm, why thankyou my handsome boy’ you say making him hide in your neck ‘shut up’ he protests.

‘Never’ you chuckle at him threading your fingers through this hair once again, the moment soon turns into one of lust again when he starts sucking a hickey onto your neck, kissing over your collarbones to. ‘Really wanna fuck you’ he moans his eyes searching for yours, and when they make contact you can tell just how desperate he is ‘well fuck me then’ and that’s all you have to say before Harry lines his throbbing cock up with your entrance, then sinking into you to the hilt in one long thrust. Both of your moans fill the room, the angle making his cock go soo deep that it felt as though he was nudging at your stomach. ‘Soo fucking tight’ he whimpers at the overwhelming feeling of your walls squeezing around him.

‘You can move, please move’ and he doesn’t have to be told twice, although he swore he could have cum from merely placing his cock inside you, he steadily starts thrusting into you finding a rhythm. You fingers tug at his hair, you think you must be hurting him but when he moans even louder at a particularly harsh tug you are reminded of Harry’s undeniable pain kink, and you swear you can feel a new pool of wetness forming at your hole. ‘Faster please Harry’ you whimper when you feel his cock pick up pace you throw your head back, making a thud when it came into contact with the wall. ‘Shit feels soo good sweet girl, swear I could be buried in you pretty little cunt forever, s’like you were made for me’ he moans out.

‘Just for you Harry’ you whimper getting him even more riled up and delivers a particularly hard thrust up into your pussy, making you quiver around him. ‘Like that don’t you baby, like it when I’m a little rough with you’

‘I do, love it soo muc- shit you feel so good, hitting my special spot every time’ the knot in your belly starting to tighten. ‘Gonna cum for me again angel’ he asks already knowing the answer, you could hear the smugness dripping from his voice.

‘Yeah, I’m clos-so close’ you whimper, when you say this he starts fucking you harder so that you would fall over the edge even quicker as he was pretty close aswell, staring into your eyes as he does, which you found hot just in itself. ‘Cant even speak properly can you, am I fucking you that good angel’

‘Cock’s f-filling me up soo good’ you whimper. The only sound resonating in the room now were moans and the slapping of skin, you couldn’t control the sounds coming from your mouth and neither could he.

‘Holy shit, I’m gonna cum’

‘Me too angel, want you to cum with me, yeah’ he reaches his hand around from one of your thighs to toy with your clit, knowing that’s all you would need. ‘I’m cumming, oh my god’ you shout your back arcing once again, Harry kept thrusting into you at the same pace only intensified your release, and seconds later you feel his cock twitch inside you one last time before he’s releasing rope after rope of cum inside your warm walls, his face finding home in the crook of your neck as your pulsating walls milk his cock, his moans being muffled in your warm skin.

You could feel you body slipping slightly down the tiles, you limbs felt like jelly after being fucked soo good, he senses that your struggling to keep yourself up so he brings you into his chest and wraps his arms around you, his cock still buried deep inside you. You bring you arms to wrap even tighter around his neck, pressing sweet kisses along his jawline making him hum contently, ‘was that okay baby’ he murmurs into your wet hair ‘more than okay H’.

You stay like this for a few minutes, basking in each others warmth’s, this is disturbed when Harry reaches to turn the shower off, shivers now run up your spine the air around you suddenly becoming chilly. You realise Harry still hadn’t gone soft within you making you look up at him in slight shock ‘how are you still hard H’ he smirks at your question ‘cause I’m not done with you yet, told you the neighbours are probably going to put in a noise complaint by tomorrow morning’ he says making you bit your lip.

‘Bet you would love that wouldn’t you, letting everyone know who you belong to’ he say walking out the shower with you still on him and grabbing a towel, he pulls out of you before you stand up properly still being a little unsteady, the mixture of his cum and your juices had dripped down onto your thigh so he doesn’t hesitate to drop to his knees to clean you up, making you grab onto the counter so you wouldn’t fall over, once he is done he stands back up innocently looking up at you then grabbing the towel and quickly drying you both off like he hadn’t just had his face buried between your legs.

‘So baby, when do you want to fuck next, there’s our bedroom but I think I wanna doing it in the dining room first, fancy having you bent over the dining table for me’ you both look at each other with lust blown eyes before you practically pounce on each other once again, Harry obviously taking that as a yes.

From that point on you realise that you wouldn’t be getting a wink of sleep tonight even after a 9 hour flight, but even then not a single care crosses your mind.

#shower #harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff imagine #harry styles imagine #harrystylesisgolden #love harrystyles #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #fine line #harry styles smut #harry styles smut imagine #boyfriend!harry #harry styles dirty one shot #harrystyles dirty #harry styles cute #harry styles hot #but daddy i love him #loveharry

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write-like-wright · 3 years ago

Note

since you did the prosecutors before can we get exes headcanons for them (like what they would be like if they were ur ex LMAO)? if this is too broad u can pick ur favorite aspect of it (u dumping them, them dumping u, seeing them in public one month later 🥰 etc)

skjdksfnfjnf this is so funny yes!

Being their ex: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth

if you thought he was awkward while you were dating, wait until you see him after your breakup

he does NOT know how to behave around you at all anymore

mostly attempts to avoid you

may or may not pull another one of his "prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death" stunts

goes to Europe for a few months to compose himself and figure out how to proceed

he's especially stumped if you are somehow obligated to interact, either through work or maybe if you live nearby

tries his best to be civil and gentlemanly, but it's painfully obvious he'd rather be anywhere else in the world at that moment

I imagine you'd have mutual friends, so before every group outing he asks if you're going to be there

something may suddenly come up if the answer is yes

*cough, cough* "I can't, I'm sick"

"boo you, Edgeworth"

I'm assuming you broke up either because of how much he works or because he fears for your safety because of your relationship

maybe it was just a heated steel samurai discussion taken too far

Franziska von Karma

oh boy, this is not gonna go well

so cold to you in the public

throws around a "foolish fool" or two your way

grips her whip so tight her knuckles turn white

cries when she gets home

absolutely cannot forgive herself for allowing someone to know her so intimately and see her in her vulnerable moments and then they're just... gone

probably puts her off dating for a while

if I had to guess why you broke up, I'd assume it was due to her intensity or competitive nature

Diego Armando/Godot

this man has many, many exes

not much changes in his demeanour towards you

he's as cool and as smooth as ever, but is careful not to cross over into the flirty territory

you're either addicted to caffeine or absolutely repulsed by it at this point

walking by a coffee shop makes you uncomfortable

don't know why you broke up, but you get back together at least twice before separating for good

Klavier Gavin

Klav remains his good old, friendly self

will drop an album about your breakup

expect a lot of hate from his stans

the media hounds you

you get invited to participate in a few reality shows probably

he feels bad and tries to defend you

offers to make it up to you by taking you out for dinner

you hook up

you break up again because you can't stand the constant scrutiny and him being away for long periods of time

rinse and repeat

Simon Blackquill

there are so many potential reasons why you could've broken up

too intense? scary at times?? manipulative without even realizing it??? spends half his life savings on a fancy katana???? who knows with him

goes full emo

do you guys know that canonically those marks on his face are from crying so much in prison? yeah (they're apparently starting to heal too, good for him)

acts all tough at work, goes home and cries to HIM - Gone With The Sin blasting at full volume

flip-flops between being a gentleman and a jerk should you meet in public

makes a few snarky comments about you and your relationship to hurt you, then has a minor freakout when realization.exe kicks in and he notices you actually are hurt

apologises by sending you cute bird pics

"Look at what Taka did today."

"He's wearing the bandana you bought him :)"

"Please respond I'm so sorry don't block me"

You eventually remain friends so you can get bird visitation rights

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

acts polite and smiles sweetly, but occasionally ends the conversation with "I will pray for you", not unlike a hostile southern lady

you miss him and his expensive haircare and skincare products

you can definitely live without the 8-hour sermons

perhaps the cultural differences were too hard to overcome? or maybe it was the constant travelling? in either case, you mutually decide that ending your relationship would be for the best

I imagine dating literal royalty would be exhausting

Barok van Zieks

make no mistake, this WILL cause a scandal

no matter the reason for your separation, get ready to deal with some serious gossip

everywhere you go, you notice people whispering about you

"I hear they ended their betrothal with Lord van Zieks."

"Well, I say! Can't imagine dealing with the Reaper myself."

everyone wants to hear your side of the story and any potential dirt you may have on him

Barok acts as gentlemanly as ever, as befits a man of his standing

he's a solitary man, but his solitude soon leads to loneliness and resentment

his consumption of fine vintages increases by tenfold

whatever it is that happened between the two of you must have been major

betrothals are not lightly ended, especially with the heir of a powerful noble family

might not even be your doing, perhaps family got involved

perhaps, his family reputation has been besmirched? ahem

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

poor Kazuma can't catch a break

Ryu gets a tear-stained letter written on 18 sheets of paper, front and back

"Oh, dear," Susato sighs. "I suppose this means the wedding is off."

while he's no lord, he is a prosecutor in the service of Her Majesty and the news of a courtship ending would be scandalous

perhaps, for that reason, and fearing how the public would react to your relationship (it is Victorian England we're talking about after all, Van Zieks' views are far from unique), you chose to keep it a secret

at first exciting, your secret meetings and whispered words soon become tiresome

the fear of being caught is always gnawing at you

he may lash out initially when you leave him

offers to make your relationship public, to hell with the society

you both know it's a bad idea

"This is all your fault." he sighs as he pours himself another chalice of Van Ziek's fine vintage.

"My fault? How is your poor performance today in court my fault, my Nipponese friend?" Barok spits out. "You have been distraught for days now, man! Pull yourself together!"

"Not you specifically," Kazuma brushes off. "Your kind."

"My kind?"

"Stuck up posh twats."

Gina walks in just as they're about to draw their blades

listen babes I'm a Kazuma simp this is the only way i could envision dumping his ass

#miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #godot #diego armando #klavier gavin #simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi #barok van zieks #kazuma asogi #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #dai gyakuten saiban #aa ramblings #anon #request #ask #this was so much fun to write i hope you enjoy!!!

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deadprocess · 4 years ago

Text

Hide Away (The Trickster x Male Reader) Part 1

//Had a lot of fun with this so I might just continue! Enjoy!

T.W: mentions of violence, some nsfw content//

Ji-Woon had always known who he was. He knew his place in the world since he was a child juggling knives in that tiny restaurant on the corner street, dazzling foreign spectators. He was to be a star and when he had been signed on with NO SPIN he was even more confident in that belief. Sure, he had a slight shift in personality when he heard the shrill screams of his burning band members but Ji-Woon considered it artistic creativity that he just hadn't had the opportunity to explore before. He always loved horror films. It was only natural to be inspired by the macabre, right?

As he became in demand as a solo artist, producers wanted more from him. His performances were to become abstract. Music videos needed to be bold; powerful. His sales demanded it. Ji-Woon understood that he needed a team to produce his filmography and music production, he did. But when Yun-Jin broke the news that he would have dancers involved with his performances from his second album on, he wasn't pleased.

"I'm a solo artist. Eyes should be focused on me." His hand white knuckled the glass of tequila moon rock as he sat across from Yun-Jin. So, that's why she brought him to this restaurant. So he couldn't cause a scene. Every one of his moves was monitored by the paparazzi after all. He could just envision "Popstar throws a tantrum in Seoul's high class eatery" as a headline on the news.

"Yes and they will be. No one goes to concerts to look at the dancers. They just add...spice and uniqueness to a performance, " Yun-Jin held up a hand as she reached over to lower the star's drink, "slow down. Don't think I haven't noticed the extra drinks here and there."

Ji-Woon huffed and flicked her hand off his drink, leaning further back into the plush seat. He was getting a headache.

It was his next performance that he questioned himself for the first time in his life.

Adjusting the rose colored star glasses on his face, he smirked. Tonight was going to be wonderful. He had the perfect instrument three weeks ago. Her voice was smooth as she screamed, creating a wonderful background vibrato for the brand new song he would preform tonight. He could hear the fans cheering and begging for him as he was (purposely) ten minutes late to the his performance. He enjoyed being sadistic after all.

Spinning on his heel to finally head out he became lost in thought, fantasizing about maybe pulling a fan from the crowd to have a "special" night with him. As he was wandering forward in a dream like state, Ji-Woon hit reality when he clipped a solid body with his shoulder. His lips curled up to sneer out an insult to whoever had the audacity to not move out of his way but every word was lost as he took in the man before him. The skin tight, high neck black top hugged your torso in such a delicious way and the black joggers managed to show off just enough curvature of your legs that Ji-Woon's insult died within in his throat.

You were quick to apologize but all the star could do was weakly nod before retreating past you to the stage, wide eyed and suddenly very flustered.

The lights were disorienting as he voice rang out, echoing into the stadium as fans screamed. His hand trembled slightly around his microphone, missing a few unnoticeable beats. He was distracted; he could see his dancers from the corner of his eyes. He could see you. How your muscles flexed with every move, how you seemed so into the music. So into his music.

The music hit a beat and the way your hand traveled down your throat...god, he never wanted anything more.

Growing up Ji-Woon never held much interest in anyone other than himself. A passing girlfriend here and there. He enjoyed women, he did. The softness and the more delicate curves of their bodies, how their hair flowed in wind and how cute their sun dresses were. They were desirable so he didn't delve deeper into the feelings that bloomed when he would look at posters of his past male idols. He told himself that they were simply inspiration for his goals.

Now he was here. Alone in his penthouse flat and splayed out on his oversized bed with his hand gripping his cock feverishly pumping as he moaned your name and he had a faint thought in the back of his mind that maybe...just maybe...he should reevaluate those past feelings.

Laying there with you in his mind and a part of him in his hand just wasn't enough, but the private conversation he held with Yun-Jin made him ache in a way that scared him deeply.

"You know I support you and this doesn't change anything, but you need to be careful," Yun-Jin held his hand with a sincerity to the touch, "the idea of attainability is also what we sell. If you're seen sneaking off anyone...let alone a man...I just don't see this ending well."

It stung but it was true. However...

Ji-Woon's eyes stared stared forward as he walked from the stage, focused on one thing with the distant sounds of fame behind him. You were one of the last few dancers to get off the stage, heading to your designated group dressing room alone. You were almost inside when you felt him. Thin hands sliding up your back to your shoulders, the touch so light that it immediately sent a tingle as they traveled upwards. You turned to face the pop-star, surprised, about to ask what he was doing before your body was pushed to the wall.

"Just," the Korean's face inched towards yours. Hands now firmly pressing against your pecs, kneading the soft flesh exposed by the open button up you wore, "just let me have this."

And you let him. Sparks of lust fogged over any hesitation as you hooked an arm just around the curve of the celebrity's ass and cupped the other hand around the back of his head.

The yearning kiss and soft moans were hidden away from the spotlight and prying eyes in that dark hallway.

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd the trickster #ji woon hak #slasher imagines #slasher x reader #reader inserts #male reader #imagine

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jonahlovescoffee · 4 years ago

Text

“look at me” | J.M.

a/n: ok guys i wrote smut in honor of the release of wdw’s new album that includes a smutty song D: so first i would like to clarify that i’m still a 15-year-old virgin so i have absolutely no idea in how sex goes and i don’t read a lot of smut in general so i apologize if any mistakes are made in my writing :) anyways happy reading!!!

summary: you and your boyfriend sneak off to have some fun. (this is probably the worst summary i’ve ever written)

warnings: oral, blood kink, dirty talk, making out, unprotected sex (but on a serious note, wrap it before u tap it guys!) so read at your own risk luvs <3

word count: 5022

“do what you want to me nobody gotta know”

You felt Jonah’s lingering stare on you all the way through dinner at his house. His alert eyes followed your every move and he didn’t even bother to be more discreet about it. He and his band had just returned from tour and usually, you both would spend the first few weeks constantly exploring each other’s bodies as you released all the lust that was bottled up inside you for far too long but this time was different. After your recent promotion in your department at work, your workload had gotten twice as heavier and you soon found yourself being too busy to indulge in any form of entertainment, including spending time with him in the bedroom as he desired. As expected, he was now extremely close to his breaking point and was perfectly capable of ruining you once both of you were alone.

Yet being the mischievous person you were, you decided to tease him a little and test his limits. With an innocent smile plastered on your face the whole time, you let out an exaggerated moan of pleasure when you tasted Christina’s cooking and pulled your bottom lip between your teeth on purpose for more times than you could count, not forgetting to make sure that he was at the perfect angle to see what you were doing.

He had his meal silently, not speaking unless he was spoken to and when he did, the evident strain in his voice did not go unnoticed by you, so did his clenched jaw and his knuckles that had gone slightly white from clutching onto the cutlery a little too hard. No one else noticed the sexual tension between you both despite it being so thick that one could cut it with a knife, which made this silent exchange between you and your boyfriend many times more exciting.

Once dinner was over and all the dirty dishes were taken to the kitchen, Jonah caught your wrist in a tight hold when you were about to enter the living room. “You’d better stop what you’re doing, sweetheart,” he warned once the others were out of earshot, already in front of the TV having an argument about which movie they should watch. “It isn’t funny at all.”

“I never said it was,” you gave him a toothy grin which agitated him more. You used your free hand to cup his cheek, tracing it softly with your thumb as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, exhaling a shallow breath. You stood up on your tiptoes and leaned your face closer to his, your lips barely inches apart. “You’re always so needy for me, love, I’m terribly flattered,” you said, your lips brushing his with every word. “And I want nothing more than for you to take me now,” you continued and you felt his entire body stiffen.

“However,” you let your hand trail down from his face, over his muscled torso, then allowed your fingers to play with the waistband of his black ripped jeans. His eyelids fluttered open as his breathing turned ragged for your fingers were so close—so dangerously close to his member that was growing harder and harder by the second. And you weren’t even doing anything. “I don’t want to do that with your friends around,” you gave him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away and wiggling your wrist out of his grasp, leaving him wanting for more.

“You’re gonna be the death of me y/n,” he growled furiously at you, earning an extremely sweet smile from you.

“I know,” you chirped happily and proceeded to skip to the living room. “Oh and Jonah? Try to hide your excited buddy would ya’? He’s being too obvious,” you tisked with displeasure, gesturing to his southern region.

“I wonder why,” he muttered sarcastically to himself as he adjusted his pants to make the bulge in them less obvious as best as he could.

“Come on guys, the movie’s starting!” Corbyn hollered from where he sat on the couch with his girlfriend by his side, to which you replied with a simple “coming” before grabbing the bowl of popcorn off the coffee table and plopping down onto the other end of the couch.

“I’m here, I’m here, jeez,” Jonah hopped over the back of the couch and landed beside you shortly afterwards, the impact sending few popcorns flying out of the bowl. You shot a death glare at him as he rested his arms over your shoulders and opened his mouth, a silent request for you to pop a popcorn into his mouth (which you obliged), his eyes fixed on the wide tv screen, acting like you both didn’t have the conversation just seconds ago.

Because of how sexually frustrated you were, it was impossible for you to concentrate on the movie when his finger was idly tracing random patterns on your upper arm from where his hand rested, turning your mind into a fuzzy mess and blurring all your senses together until all you could focus on was his touch that had somehow travelled to your neck, stopping at the sensitive spot beneath your ear.

“Wanna suck this part so bad,” His whispered into your ear, his warm breath making your skin tingle with pleasure as his finger circled the spot with his finger several times, causing your breathing to hitch, momentarily stunned by his words. Before you could say anything though, he pulled away completely with a chuckle, choosing to place his hand on your thigh instead.

This bastard. He knew the effect his simple gesture had on you and he was shamelessly wielding it to his power.

Without a word, you placed your left hand lightly on the front his black ripped jeans as you planted a kiss on his collarbone, frowning when he didn’t offer you any reaction at all, pretending to be too fixated with the movie to even notice what you were doing. Fine. Two can play this game.

You glided your hand ever so lightly like the soft caress of the cool night’s breeze over his crotch at first, subsequently picking up the pace and pressure as you went, palming him discreetly with your clueless friends sitting merely several feet away from you. Beneath your palm, you could feel his member pushing against the material of his jeans almost immediately as he emitted a soft groan from his lips.

“Fuck,” he breathed, tightening his grip on the back of the couch as he bit back another groan when your lips came into contact with his jaw and slowly made their way down his neck, leaving faint red marks on certain spots where you had nipped softly along the trail of kisses. “What are you doing?” He seethed through his gritted teeth, a sign that he was annoyed at you for driving him to the brink of losing every last bit of his self control but he made no move to stop your actions.

“What’s wrong with expressing my love for my boyfriend?” You teased which made his frown deepen, grabbing your moving hand in his, abruptly stopping your movements.

“Expressing your love, huh?” He grabbed your chin and forcefully tilted your face so you were looking at him straight in the eyes. Even through the darkness of the dimly lit living room, you could make out every defined details of his attractive face—his chiseled jawline, the perfect arc of his slightly furrowed brows, his elegantly straight nose and most importantly the flame of lust that was burning like wildfire in his eyes. “Why don’t we take this elsewhere if you really wanna do so, sweetheart?” He asked but his dark tone made it sound more like an order instead of a question, your previous playfulness dissipating instantly.

You wanted to retort, reminding him that you had told him that you weren’t inclined of doing that in the presence of his friends but you weren’t stupid. You knew very well that if you continued to push anymore buttons, he would not let you get away with it easily.

“Good,” he said and let his hand drop from your chin. “Let’s go then.”

Without a word, Jonah dragged you off by the hand towards his room, brushing off the prying questions from your friends with a simple “she’s not feeling well”. You didn’t say anything as you followed after his fast-paced footsteps, almost tripping over your own feet because of the giddy excitement that you felt at the moment.

He kicked the door shut behind him once both of you entered his room, his hands already all over you and your lips connected with each other’s in a heated kiss with his tongue in your mouth, exploring every corner of it, asserting utter dominance before you had a chance to react, making you gasp and habitually let your hands drift to the front of his lavender hoodie to pull him closer as you tilted your head so that he could kiss you deeper. He blindly spun you both around so your back collided against the door and pinned you against it before breaking the kiss, biting your bottom lip slightly as he pulled away to your dismay. You wanted to taste more of him so you tried to tug him down once more to collide his lips with yours but he stopped your actions with a low growl.

“What do you want from me, sweetheart? Teasing me all day like that,” he asked sternly, staring down at your petite figure that was trapped between his arms. Under his intense gaze of his once vibrant hazel eyes that were now nearly consumed by the black of his dilated pupils, your brain shut down all of a sudden, subsequently taking away your ability to form words in your head, let alone speak. He inched closer until your breath mingled with each other’s. “Fine, since you’re not going to speak, we’ll do this my way then,” he finally said when you remained speechless. You felt a tingling feeling between your thighs at the anticipation of what he had in store for you.

“Get on your knees, now,” he ordered and you obliged right away without a second thought. You didn’t need any further instructions to know what he wanted you to do next for his intentions were already clearly written on his face. In a blink of an eye, you already had his belt undone and his jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, shuffling them down his legs along with his boxers, just low enough to reveal his considerable length standing proud and tall in its full glory. The sight of it never failed to make your eyes go wide in amazement and your mouth go dry no matter how many times you had seen it. “You want to express your love, babygirl, now’s your time to do it. Go on,” he urged, making you groan softly at his forwardness. “Show me how much you fucking love me.”

You did not wait another second to wrap your hands snugly around his member to give him several good long strokes before taking it in your awaiting opened mouth, flicking your tongue just over his sensitive head and sucking it a little to taste some of the salty precum. He let out a soft groan, one hand still keeping a firm grip on the counter as the other pulled your long hair back to give you more room. You proceeded to leave open-mouthed kisses down his length, your warm exhales across his aching dick teasingly torturous, not forgetting to lower your head to lick his balls before moving your mouth back up his length again. You felt his hand on your hair tighten as you purposely took your sweet time of savouring every inch of him ever so slowly instead of going hard and fast just like he wanted.

“Tease me more, baby, and you will regret it later,” he said with all seriousness and you knew that he wasn’t joking. You spit on the tip a little before fitting him into your mouth once again, then sliding down while your hands were kept snug around the base of him to help jerk off the rest of him that couldn’t fit in your mouth. You gradually picked up speed, your hands meeting your lips in steady movements as you started to bob your head quicker up and down his shaft, his breathing turning rhythmic and heavy, small moans let out with every exhale as you worked him.

Jonah was in pure ecstasy as he watched you take his dick so well on your knees, saliva dribbling down your chin as you licked and swirled your tongue over all the right spots, earning involuntary groans after groans of pleasure and making him instinctively push his hips forward into your mouth, consequently making you gag lightly as you neared your limit.

“Fuck, baby, that’s it, you’re doing so good,” he managed to say between ragged breaths, “but is that all you’ve got?” His grip tightened on your hair immediately and before you knew it he was pushing you back down quickly and then tugging at your hair to pull you off over and over again just as you were about to pull back to breathe. Your hand fell from the base to the back of his thigh to keep yourself steady as he thrusted into your mouth nonstop, focussing on keeping your jaw lax despite the protests of your gagging reflexes.

“Deeper,” he instructed strongly as you gagged, your tongue pulling back last. Tears stared to prickle at the edges of your eyes and you glanced up at him, subtly shaking your head to tell him that you couldn’t go any further but he wasn’t taking “no” for an answer. He had spent more than enough time in the bedroom with you to know your body better than you do and he was sure that you hadn’t reached your limit yet despite your denial to his request.

“Come on, I know you can do this, sweetheart,” he drawled, your hesitation had his hand pushing your mouth down his length by your hair until it reached the very back of your throat as your nose touched his stomach, making you wince at the discomfort. Yet you continued to bob your head, taking almost his entire length in your mouth. You pulled back a little and brought your hand back to the base to give him quick hard tugs as your tongue glided across his tip until he was biting down on his bottom lip with his eyes close as you felt him twitch inside your mouth, almost reaching his high. His erotic groan that followed sent heat pooling at your core and was starting to ache for touch.

So you silently slid a hand into your panties, your dress making it terribly easy to access the sensitive part between your thighs and you soon enough found yourself touching yourself while your other hand continued to jerk him off in your fist. You fully removed your mouth from around his tip to give him kitten licks, also partly because you found it incredibly hard for your moans to escape with his member in your mouth without gagging.

Your discreet movements did not go unnoticed by him and he pulled you up by the collar of your button-up dress all of a sudden, taking you by surprise. His other hand moved to pull up his jeans and boxers. “I didn’t say you could touch yourself, did I?” Jonah growled in your face when you reached his eye level. “Such a desperate little whore,” he tisked disapprovingly while shaking his head at you. His tone was condescending, as you were some sort of trash that was greatly frowned upon by everyone. “Fucking answer me when I’m talking to you.”

“I just want to relief the ache,” you whined as he dragged you towards the bed forcefully, taking you by surprise, causing you to stumble over your own two feet and crash into him when he suddenly stopped walking and turned around to face you. “I want you to make me feel good, please,” you begged him with pleading eyes but it was no use.

“Naughty little girls like you don’t deserve to get want they want, do they?” He asked and you nodded in response, earning a warning snarl from him. “Don’t you understand what I say, slut? I said open your filthy mouth and use your fucking words.”

“Yes, Jonah.”

“So prove to me why I should forgive you.”

“Gladly,” sike.

You placed your hands on his chest and leaned your entire weight onto him, making both of you fall backwards against the floor, before you were taking off his hoodie. Your hands were already roaming his muscled torso while your lips connected to his neck, giving him sloppy kisses all over his neck, sucking and nipping just enough to leave faint marks that were barely considered as hickeys at all the wrong places, having engraved the exact places of all his sweet spots in your mind but avoiding them all on purpose just to spite him and forcing him to give you what you wanted.

You knew that if you had complied to his wishes, it would do you no good at all. It would’ve taken you longer to get what you wanted and you didn’t have the patience to wait. Just like how he knew dirty talk was capable of driving you insane, you also knew that your disobedience would make his mind go completely haywire, especially when you were doing everything wrongly.

That’s why you were honestly surprised when he actually waited a full moment until you started kissing down his chest before grabbing your shoulders to flip you over so he was hovering over you.

“You just can’t stop being a shitty brat, can you?” He licked his lips quickly before attaching them to your neck, right at the spot where he traced with his fingers earlier, and sucked hard, making you moan and cling onto him tightly with your hands tugging on his soft brown hair, keeping him close as he repeated the same actions on different spots, turning you into a moaning mess. “This is how you pleasure someone,” he demonstrated by ripping your dress apart and unhooking your bra in one swift motion before he started to massage your breast as his lips worked wonders on your neck, fully hoisting himself up with only one hand. You instinctively grinded against him, the soaked thin fabric of your panties and his jeans being the only barriers separating his length from your entrance.

“But this is how you mark someone up,” without a warning, he sank his teeth deep into the flesh near your collarbone, hard enough to draw blood, forcing a gasp out of you due to the pleasurable pain that shot through your entire body at the mere action. He wasn’t even nipping anymore — he was biting you, exactly like how a vampire would bite its prey before sucking the life out of it. He sank his teeth deeper causing more blood to ooze out of your body, which he, in turn, sucked and swallowed every single drop of it. With a final swirl of his tongue around the prominent bite mark, he pulled away far enough for his entire face to be in your field of vision, his teasing grin showing off all his teeth that was stained in red with some of your blood.

You pressed your thighs against each other in hopes of generate some kind, any kind of friction to soothe your aching core that was pulsing so furiously as soon as you beheld his sharp canines that was stained the reddest.

And he slowly let his tongue glide over all his teeth, wiping them clean as you watched intently, mumbling a soft “fuck” while staring wide-eyed at him in disbelief.

He moved the hand from your breast to the sensitive area between your legs and dragged his fingers over your entrance, to find you completely drenched with arousal.

“Never expected you to have a blood kink,” he smirked with satisfaction at his discovery, “but I guess you do now, huh?” He ripped your panties off without a second thought like it was the most natural thing to do in the world.

“Jonah, what—”

“Your flimsy little underthings always get in the way of things,” he cut you off mid-sentence before you could protest further.

“But—Fuck,” words failed you when he started to rub painfully slow circles around your fluttering core with his thumb while he dragged his middle finger up and down your slick folds, teasing at your entrance. You rock against his hand to get that friction you craved yet he kept the moving pace of his hand so damn slowly that whimpers fell from your lips, much to his delight.

“For someone who was reluctant to fuck with my friends around, you sure are goddamn needy for me right now,” He attached his lips to yours once again to drown out your noise, your lips moving in perfect sync with each other’s as he licked his way into your mouth. A wave of warmth washed over you as your tongues entwined, making your toes curl, unfurling all your senses as the taste of his lips and his touch silenced all thoughts.

Except one.

“It’s no fair that you still get to keep your pants on when I’m already naked,” you said, breathless once you detached your lips from his after the heated kiss, placing your hands on his toned chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, his hot exhales fanning your face. He let out a light laugh but it sounded far from amused.

“When can you learn how to fucking behave, baby?” He lowered onto you, his lips falling to meet the bite mark he left on your skin, kissing it softly once. Then twice. “Or do you need me to remind you who you belong to?”

You didn’t expect him to choose that moment to slip a finger inside you without any warning, pumping it in and out of you as his thumb continued to rub your bundle of nerves. You slid your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible to you. Pitchy moans escaped you, ringing across the room as he gradually picked up speed.

“I said we’re doing this my way, understood?” He asked sternly, which you replied with a breathy “yes”.

“And I can do whatever the fuck I want, no questions asked,” he added another finger into you, making you arch your back towards him, your mouth hanging open in bliss as your moaning continued. He drank in the wonderful sight of your body reacting so beautifully to his actions. “Got it?”

“Yes...yes, Jonah,” you could barely get the words out of your mouth when his fingers sped up and you habitually spread your legs open wider, your eyes shut as his fingers worked their magic. Your eyes were screwed shut as your brows furrowed, concentrating on the immense pleasure that consumed you at that moment, your mind barely able to function at all. Sooner than you expected, your legs started to tremble with desire for release. “Jonah, I’m close, I’m really really close,” you whispered shakily and he exerted more pleasure on your clit.

But just as you were about to finally reach your high, he pulled his fingers out of you rapidly, leaving you empty and begging desperately for him to put them back inside you.

“Should’ve thought about this when you disobeyed me so many times today, sweetheart,” he said with an evil grin, “and bad girls don’t get to cum.”

“Nor do they get to pick the positions too but,” he sat back and looped one arm around your knees and another around your shoulders to pick you off the ground before laying you on his plush, comfortable white bed that felt like heaven in contrast to the cold hard ground you were laying on just now. “I’m going to let the latter slide this once.”

“So tell me what you want to do, baby, the choice is all yours,” he nibbled your earlobe from where he laid beside you, his arms tucked securely around your waist, keeping your body pressed flush against him. You could feel the tent in his pants that was pressing against your backside and the words left your mouth before you yourself could even process them properly.

“I want to ride you.”

He untangled his arms from around your waist and sat up so he was leaning against the headboard. “Show me what you’ve got, love,” he said, nodding his head at you, urging you to do whatever you wanted.

You quickly slid down his jeans and boxers to let his now completely hard and throbbing cock free, already. With his hands tucked behind his head, he licked his lips as he watched you pumped his member a few times before positioning yourself over him and lining yourself up. You gripped his shoulders again, looking back up into to meet his lust-ridden gaze before leaning in to give him a light kiss, which he instantly responded back with more passion. You pulled back to make sure you were lined up before you slowly sank down on to him, making both of you let out a few curses when you were fully down to his base.

“You’re so fucking tight,” He groaned as you waited until you adjusted to his size, leaning your head against his shoulder for comfort.

You slowly lifted yourself up, almost pulling away from his dick completely before you let yourself sink back down, clenching around him again as his fingernails dug into the side of your hips. You started to pick up pace, switching between grinding and moving up and down on him, his grunts encouraging you even more. “Jonah....fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you shrieked, a string of obscene profanities that you never knew that you knew proceeded to escape your mouth as you bottomed out each and every time, slamming yourself right down onto the hilt.

“You like my dick buried in your tight little hole huh? My dirty fucking girl,” He asked, watching intently as your breasts bounced with each movement, your head thrown back in pleasure as you let soft moans escape, a sight he thought was both hot and beautiful at the same time. He moved his hands back up to your waist, keeping you steady as you continued to grind and moan against him.

“Yes, oh fuck, yes, Jonah, I love it so damn much,” you managed to reply before your lips were captured in a passionate kiss with his once again, one of his hands cradling your face as you continued to ride him quicker, shifting your position a little to find a better angle so that he could hit deeper. When you finally succeeded in finding it, you held on tighter onto him, clinging to whatever that could keep you grounded to this world as you felt like you were falling off the edge of it when he sped up some more. You soon felt your insides clench around him. “Jonah I think—” you were cut short by a gasp of your own when his other hand collided with your butt, the sharp sound echoing throughout the room.

“No,” he said through the kiss without any hesitation. “You can only cum when I say so, dear,” he bit your bottom lip tauntingly and you heard the silent challenge for you to fight back against his orders as clear as day.

So you slowed down your pace, trying your very best to restrict yourself from cumming all over his dick. And he didn’t like what you were doing. “Did i say you could slow down?”

“No, but at this rate I—”

“You shitty brat never run out of excuses,” he growled before gripping your shoulders to flip you over so you were laying on your back on the bed.

“Guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands,” he said as he pounded mercilessly into you, your eyes screwed shut and your brows furrowed as you concentrated on holding your cum in. The bliss you felt at the moment was so immense that you couldn’t help but shriek his name over and over again although the effort of not approaching your high was painful at the same time.

By the time you had become aware of your hands, they were already dragging down his back, your nails piercing his skin, drawing pretty red lines along his back. “Tell me whose cunt is this, baby,” he was hitting your g-spot now and your hand moved to grip the sheets.

Prick.

“Fucking look at me when I’m talking,” he ordered sternly and of course, your eyelids flew open immediately at his words.

“Yours, all fucking yours, Jonah.”

“Good. Now, do you wanna cum now, babygirl?” He asked, picking up his pace as he chased after his own high as well.

“Yes, please please please,” you whimpered, tears already welling up in your eyes.

“Yeah, cum all over me now, baby,” he pressed a soft kiss on your lips as white ribbons of pleasure poured out of you almost immediately, just as his warm liquid was released inside you and you moaned as it filled up your insides.

“I love you,” he said when he pulled out of you and laid down beside you, leaving you empty and sore as heck.

“Love you more,” you replied, kissing the tip of his nose. “But you were too harsh on me just now,” you pouted and he smiled.

“I thought you love me putting you in your place,” he teased and you hit his arm playfully. “You gotta admit, you were turned on by my actions.”

“Shut up,” you said and he leaned in once more to kiss your pout away.

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