#but it can be very disheartening to see and feel that disparity between yourself and your peers

[aroaceinaerospace]

sometimes I so deeply miss being a teenager because there was so much more space to just talk to people the same age as you and figure out who you are. there's nothing quite like the vulnerability you were able to reach late at night during a sleepover with friends

[perfectirishgifts]

Struggling With Burnout? Here’s How This Millennial Entrepreneur Navigated And Beat It

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/struggling-with-burnout-heres-how-this-millennial-entrepreneur-navigated-and-beat-it/

Struggling With Burnout? Here’s How This Millennial Entrepreneur Navigated And Beat It

Burnout concept.

It goes without saying that burnout is on the rise. Burnout is a syndrome known to affect our well-being and psychological, physical and occupational health, with consequences ranging from musculoskeletal pain, depression to heart disease. There’s a lot of research surrounding burnout based on workers in a traditional corporate setting and what employers can do to shift the tide, but how do you navigate burnout as a current or future entrepreneur?

You have the freedom to create your schedule, craft your job description and build the career of your dreams, but this privilege doesn’t always come without a cost. Long work hours, uncertainty and a high level of passion without support and community can all contribute to the cycle of stress and, eventually, burnout. One study reveals there is a “dark side of passion” where you throw yourself into your work and rarely exercise the freedom to break away.

Even with passion, businesses are closing by the thousands; according to Yelp.com’s Local Economic Impact report, more than 97,966 businesses have permanently shut down during the pandemic. Black-owned businesses are especially feeling the effects, with the number of active Black small-business owners falling below 41% from February through April, nearly twice the rate of non-Black-owned businesses. Studies continue to show disparities between black and white business owners from fighting for access to venture capital, failing to acquire business and government loans to contending with discrimination and burnout. US Federal Reserve data reveals less than 47% of financing applications filed by African American business owners get approved, painting a tilted playing field against the black entrepreneur.

I caught up with an entrepreneur who is also a millennial of color. Joesph Castle is the CEO of tecnologika, an IT solutions business formed at the peak of the last recession in the 2000’s. Castle, who now has business locations on three continents and is redefining how companies engage with IT solutions providers, is no stranger to building a successful business under pressure.

Rachel Montañez: Tell us about your journey to entrepreneurship.

A millennial entrepreneur who navigated and beat burnout

Joesph Castle: At the age of 17, I dropped out of further education and got an entry-level job as a sales support associate with the largest Apple reseller in the UK (much to my father’s dismay as he was a proud academic).

In my later school years, I established a couple of self-observations. I was not academic; I loved social interactions and making new relationships, and I had a hunger for technology. So, I formulated a 2-year and 5-year plan, and when I felt confident in my current role, I applied for positions that took me completely out of my comfort zone. Three years into my sales career, I found my niche; I was working as a business development manager, and I was given the freedom to plan and execute the growth of my portfolio of clients. Quantitative trading, a form of electronic trading, was the market that I excelled in.

The industry was so new that not many people understood the “whys” that were driving the IT investment by these bleeding-edge trading firms. This was probably around the first time I questioned my place in the organization and started to think about the bigger picture. Rather than spending my commission checks on frivolous gratification, I set a financial goal of how much I thought I would need to set up independently. When I hit that financial target, there was no going back, and tecnologika was born.

Montañez: As a millennial entrepreneur of mixed-race heritage, what would you say to millennials of color with big entrepreneurial aspirations who are disheartened by studies highlighting racial discrimination?

Castle: Stand out. Being different is an advantage, but only if you see it as one.

It’s easy to think you’re going to be perceived differently in corporate industries that lack diversity. But if you believe in your vision, are confident in your ability and — most importantly — do what you do well, success won’t be far.

I also think that believing you are at a disadvantage because of a stereotype is a negative perception. Typically, you manifest what you believe. It’s only going to cultivate insecurities and create obstacles to forming meaningful rapport, which is the basis of great relationships and partnerships.    

Montañez: As you continued to build your business, tell us what burnout looked like for you.

Castle: Burnout, for me, wasn’t a sudden realization that I’m running on fumes and need to take time out. I found that the most debilitating side effects of burnout were a lack of motivation, a lack of creativity and a lack of focus. I really had to dig deep to push through periods of time and carry on, hoping I would reignite my fire. My daily routine wasn’t effective, so I had to question the “whys” of how I spent my time and then re-organize my time.  

What’s interesting is entrepreneurs realize very early on that successful habits breed successful results. We talk about the positives of creating processes that generate results. But there’s also a less spoken about side of the cost of these processes. Be it on your personal life or simply the long-term effects that self-inflicted pressure to function at your highest level has on your overall well-being.

Montañez: While experiencing burnout, what was going through your mind?

Castle: I ask myself a lot of questions. From, “Why is this task taking twice the amount of time I anticipated it taking?” To more simply, “Why am I struggling to work a 12-hour workday?”

“Can I delegate this out?” “Do I need to force myself to do this now, or can I come back to it when I have more focus?” “Why am I vacant, and where has my creativity gone?”

Montañez: What three things helped you beat burnout?

Castle: Patience with myself and acceptance. I’ve always put pressure on myself to make the progress I think I need to see as quickly as I can. There are so many things out of our control; accept those things, and focus on what we can influence. It’s a grounding realization.

Music. I’ve always been a keen amateur musician. When things got full-on, I decided to take classical piano lessons rather than just fumble around on a keyboard and play my guitar. It was a great tonic to end my day, completely removing myself from thinking about work and learning something new.

Last but not least, philanthropy.

I looked into ways that I could add value to a cause that was greater than my own. I spoke to several charities to learn about their mission to see if I could be of value to them and found a local charity in the heart of East London that, at the time, supported financially deprived communities by delivering supportive services. I fell in love with the mission and became a trustee. Eight years later, Skyway is going strong, and I’m equally as passionate.

Beating burnout requires a holistic approach, but understanding that passion is a double-edged sword can help you to cultivate practices that sustain you for the long run. Your business is only as strong as you are.

From Diversity & Inclusion in Perfectirishgifts

[odogaronfang]

one of the things i’ve seen a lot lately that’s really starting to get on my nerves is like, the disparity between how artists and authors are treated, generally.

i love artists with all my heart. they’re so incredibly talented!! regardless of “natural ability” it takes hours upon hours, years upon years of practice, technique study, form study, color study, looking into dynamics, how bodies bend and colors mingle, how clothes fold and perspectives shift. i see artists working hard at their trade and i admire them, as an aspiring artist myself, i respect and i practically worship every single second that they put into each and every detail in their piece- even if it’s just black and white lineart, even if it’s just a neck-up pencil sketch they did in the car on a road trip. and so many people share those feelings towards artists, and i’m so incredibly glad, because they deserve it!! they deserve every outpouring of love and praise we can possibly offer them! to my artists reading this, regardless of whether you or anyone else thinks you’re “good”, you’re amazing and i love you!! keep working, there’s always a way to get even better!

but rarely do i ever see that same sentiment shared towards authors? and maybe i just personally haven’t been exposed to it, but it seems like it’s the odd one or two “don’t forget about writers!” post, and that’s all. i believe it was stephen king who had that quote about everyone who says “oh, i’d like to write someday”. i’d love to see more people writing!! it’s incredibly fun and cathartic and has plenty of practical applications! but this misconception about its simplicity seems to be everywhere. people think that they can pick up a pencil (or, in this day and age, log into google docs) and write at skill level of shakespeare or bradbury or poe or salinger; and there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that, because with practice and time and really hard work, everyone could write. but where that gets skewed, and where that really starts to bother me, is the assumption that people make based off of that: that writing takes no skill and therefore is somehow inherently worth less than art, and in fact worth little to nothing at all, because anyone can write, right?

underpricing is a HUGE problem in both communities- there are people that complain to artists that “anyone can draw” and so why should they pay $100 for something that this person spent hours and gallons of love and blood and sweat and tears on, and to that I would like to ask: if that’s true, why not just draw it yourself? why pay $100 when you can do it for free, and keep everyone safe from your ingratitude and ignorance? and there are constantly things going around cautioning artists, especially the new and insecure, about undervaluing, and i will share those until my fingers go numb, because i wholeheartedly agree.

but then, why have i seen perhaps a total of two (2) posts like that directed at authors? why do so few people spare a second thought for them? i write, and i adore it, have since i was very young. rarely have i seen interest in it if the price of reading rose above $0.00. i write for free, because i enjoy it and because the people who follow me seem to as well. i would love to take commissions, but i get no interest whatsoever, and have gotten a few asks along the lines of “why should i pay for something anyone can do?” and even if this isn’t about the lucrative side of things, comparing art and writing is, to take an example, comparing a piece of several thousand notes to a piece of perhaps a dozen, with decent exposure. i just… see so little appreciation for the people that put hours of their time and effort and creativity into creating worlds entirely from their imagination for everyone to see. 100k words on ao3 for a fanfic and no one bats an eye. review and like and share culture has diminished to a pathetic few. it’s discouraging and disheartening and, quite frankly, insulting; 100k words, for free, often tailored to characters or universes of your particular tastes, the equivalent of a full-length novel (maybe more!), with love and so much time poured into it, and people take that for granted.

in not so many words: could we maybe just stop taking authors for granted? could we stop taking creators for granted? not everyone can do it, not without dedication and far too much practice to be healthy for us. if there’s an author you follow on hellsite, or on ao3 or fanfic or whatever, let them know. if you’ve got the insight or the time, leave a review of some sort, because by god do those feel good- if not, even a simple “great chapter!” or “i loved ___” or even just a reblog/share!! they’re all so incredibly gratifying and at least in my case, they make me want to put out MORE!!

tl;dr: SHOW YOUR AUTHORS SOME GOD DAMN LOVE! FUCK!

[rairun]

It's been over a year since I came out as bisexual, and it's been so interesting to catch myself recasting old stories and adjusting my understanding of my formative experiences based on the fact that I am queer. Sometimes it feels almost too neat, and I worry that I'm deliberately making connections that maybe I shouldn't be making - maybe my history is more fragmented, maybe it should read less like a narrative and more like a disparate collection of incidents. But then again that's what being human is always like. We tell stories. We try to make sense of things. This is what we do.

Coming out as bi has been important to me for two reasons - first because "straight" hasn't been a good description for my feelings since at least my early twenties. I was tired of defaulting to straight simply because it was the default; I was tired of questioning whether I was gay enough, of worrying I would become an appropriative asshole if I identified as bi (as bi people are wont to do). The other reason coming out has been important to me was that it made me feel welcome under the queer umbrella, and suddenly so many queer things about myself found themselves a home.

Last night I found an "It gets better" video that I watched seven years ago. As of November 2017, it only has 600~ views, but it is by far the one that touched me the most. I was twenty-six at the time. I hadn't been bullied in what, nine years? And I had survived. Things were better in many ways. But I still felt so fundamentally alone. I knew like-minded people existed - I'd met a couple who had changed my life -  but by my mid-twenties they seemed like such a miracle, and so impossibly rare. I didn't think of myself as queer at the time, but Alicia's words - and her soft-spokenness, and her gentle-yet-resilient tone -  made me feel like she was speaking to me.

And yet she was not. Because I wasn't queer, or I didn't know I was queer. I didn't resent being excluded from the club because I'd never stopped to consider I might belong there. When I watched Alicia's video, I cried because I felt those people were my brother and sisters, and I wished them happiness and a place in the world, even if their place was not my place (it was, but I didn't know that). I felt left behind like all the queer people who never got the chance to see things get better.

Now, when I look back on my experiences as a teenager, it all seems so clear: they did all those things to me because I was queer. That's the simple truth of the matter. Saying this feels like fitting the last piece of a puzzle. It gives name to a reality I understood but had no way of expressing without taking my time to describe each individual piece and its relationship with the others. Now I take a step back and suddenly the whole picture emerges.

What makes me wonder if I'm being simplistic is that I know they didn't do those things to me because I was bi. They didn't know I was bi. As a teen, I didn't know I was bi either. And I didn't look or sound gay enough for them to seriously think I was the Portuguese equivalent of a "fag".

Their go-to insult was "nerd", among other similar words. But I was clearly not singled out for my interests - half the kids who harassed me daily were Magic: the Gathering-playing nerds. They also used some really ableist language (because I have a minor chest deformity), enough to have left me with a wonky body image probably forever; but objectively, my chest didn't make me disabled, and I doubt they'd have picked up on it if I weren't a target for other reasons.

The types of abuse weren’t always the same (insults, physical violence, sexual harassment at least once, abusive “friendships” where I was always deliberately reminded of my lower standing), and it wasn’t always possible to draw a straight line between them and my queerness. But it was very clear I was a target because I didn’t take part in the whole business of growing up as a cishet guy.

I remember liking another "it gets better video" in 2010 - I think it was Hal Duncan's. At some point he says, "You only have to walk past a group of people laughing to tense, to shrink into yourself in shame and fear, because they've ground you down to the point where you associate the very sound of human joy with your humiliation." And this is such an accurate description of my own experiences that together with everything else, it's very hard not to conclude that I was a target because I was queer.

Queer. Again, not bi. They didn't know I was bi. It all came down to me not doing sexuality as a straight boy should - they just didn't have a name for it. I remember some of the other "nerds" were given a hard time too, and they mostly wished they were popular. Many had a proto-MRA mentality that made them feel wronged because girls wouldn't give them a chance. I just wanted to be allowed not to want any of that in peace, and it seemed like I was the only person who felt this way.

I could talk about some of this in terms of genderqueerness too. I don't overtly identify as non-binary, and masculine pronouns are generally OK by me, but I won't say you are wrong if you think of me as non-binary. I guess gender could give me a "legitimate" outlet to think of myself as queer too. But if I were to be even more specific, I'd say a lot of my early experiences fall under the aro/ace categories; a lot of my struggles had to do not exactly with shunning intimacy, but with being very uncomfortable with the ways our society structures sexual and romantic relationships.

The other day I felt a bit disheartened by all the derisive comments on the "Is There Something Queer About Being Single?" article in the NYT. I mean - no, of course simply being single doesn't make anyone queer. The derisiveness got to me though, and trust me, I can relate to the fear of queerness becoming meaningless if everything is considered queer - we'd lose the word and the unity it brings, but the world would still uphold all its discriminatory structures. But you know, maybe there is something queer about eschewing traditional couplehood, or even couplehood altogether. Maybe there is something queer and disruptive not only in wanting sex with the "wrong" people, but also in wanting it differently. Maybe there is something queer about searching for a different way to love and live.

I'm bi. Despite all the biphobia that still exists, I'm "allowed" to be here.

But what if I were not?

I think people can be too quick to bring up the cases that are most easily dismissed - so is this straight white dude queer now because he likes to be choked in bed? Is that guy over there really supposed to be queer because he has sex with a different woman every day and calls himself poly? And they forget that there are so many kids and adults out there with much more complicated histories, who have struggled with their sense of identity and their place in the world for so long, and still haven't found it. If someone hears the word "queer" and it stirs something up inside them that they can't even explain, if it speaks to them like nothing else has, are we supposed to act as gatekeepers and tell them no?

Are we really supposed to turn them away because a couple of assholes think being queer is a fashion accessory? And who is to say who is who? Until very recently, I was one of those people who felt lost and alone and like they didn’t belong anywhere. I spent all of my twenties in that place, and maybe things could have been different. Maybe they can be different for others still.

[totheglobe]

What Part of the Globe Do You Call Home?

***Your home is your sanctuary, at least it should be. Whatever part to the globe houses you,your friends, pets or family is just as important as who you are as a person.

We relate and feel really great when we are happy in our comfortable space. We rest, eat, sleep and take our reprieve from the duties of daily living. Part of daily living is sharing and giving time, love, space and assistance to others. To better assist others, you must first attain a comfortable living space. Finding a place for yourself, fills your comfortable space with things that occupy your place, and things that relate and reflect your style or taste. Home is where you feel the most comfortable..

Know your role on the global scale. Keep your home as the most sacred space for you on the globe. Know that your sacred space is yours and yours alone!

***Know that you are entitled to PRIVACY and nobody should be watching you, listening to your private conversations or invade your dwelling.

** Keep vigilant and make sure that nobody gains access to your private telephone calls, your WIFI service or your intimate time with others spent at home. So many people are bombarded with lunatics that want to know every bit of your whereabouts, actions and conversations that life and privacy needs to be better guarded and secured.

Wherever you reside on the globe, know where you feel the most comfortable. Recognize what's good and feels like the right fit regarding where you choose to live. If you are a new graduate or seeking new housing, take your time to decide what part of the globe you'll call home.

We live in a great big vast country, and on an even bigger planet. So what exactly does that invite for you and me? It invites change. Whether you change your mind, your thoughts or your place of residence, it's all up to you.

Of one thing I can assure you: Wherever you live on the globe, it's ease and comfort that fills a void, or a need that makes your dwelling your home. Make your home a home by living in a space that you make as your own, private sanctuary. Home is often called your home because it is the place most sought for comfort and privacy- the peacefulness of your house or home can be attributed to how wonderful you rest and appreciate your private space...

Filling the need for you to have a peaceful life depends on a peaceful domicile or place of residence.

Home is the way that we connect and let our hair down to renew or recharge our hearts, thoughts, mind and brain. It really makes no difference to me what part of the globe I call home,as long as I have comfort, space and privacy and my husband beside me, then I am comfortable and at home.

I have lived in quite a few places over the past 20 plus years. What I have learned is that it's a matter of exposing yourself to as many new and different experiences as you can, in the time that you are living and able to be mobile- thrive in the time that you are alive!

To live your life and to be informed, aware and to gain appreciation and respect for who, what and where you have developed the most passion is rewarding!

Practice empathy and philanthropy, throughout your life, caring for others and showing, and giving and receiving love is the most important space to be in everyday.

I remember, as a child, we did a lot of local traveling and that's probably when I first got the travel and adventure bug. I enjoyed long car rides with interesting conversation that initiated and created an all-encompassing out-of-the- ordinary way of discovering many restaurants and local jaunts that were joyful and quaint, to say the least. We always noticed beautiful homes and neighborhoods and imagined living in many stately places of residence.

Many people call big towering buildings home, those with gated driveways and roundabouts that steer one visitor over to the next lane. Others call quaint high-rise buildings, replete with concierge service, guards, security and winding staircases their home. I still, to this day, enjoy visiting and seeing as many different places, around the globe, that others call their home, much like a pioneer seeking adventure and new discovery.

I have also seen small shanty towns lined with dirt roads, covered in make-shift cardboard or plywood houses, across the Texas-Mexico border, separating one country and standard of living from another. That was frankly, very sad, emotional and disheartening. The homes were riddled, lined or filled with trash and debris that was later going to be exchanged for meager pennies- on the dollar, to possibly help sustain and feed a family of three or more survivors.

Growing up and seeing the disparity between such scenes, in true reality, NOT out of a movie scene, or a sad dream, but IS in fact the reality of migrant workers and their families. Home was not a sanctuary or comfortable dwelling.( sad face- now tears running down my cheeks).

Many migrant workers come into our country legally, to do jobs that most of U.S. citizens, in our country, would find too physically taxing, draining, exhausting or demeaning.

I do not place judgement on either action of the equation. I right there and then made a declaration: - I will elect to attain and provide aid in the form of immediate medical care, maintenance, education, sponsorship, or to help by attaining continuous philanthropic support to aid or assist others who cannot help themselves. The odds are too high against them.

My eyes and heart have not forgotten what I first witnessed as a small child. Along our drive passing the freeway in route to the major university, in my hometown, is when I first noticed the duality. My first reaction was shock, then grief, sadness and anger followed, when I saw things of such a high magnitude.

I made a promise to myself: When I attain the means and the power to fulfill, the ability in me, to help some of the most-deserving people I shall. I will be helping them to have a chance, and better enable them to experience the normal standard of living. I will be happy to assist!

It would be most heart-rewarding for these small communities of families and migrant workers to be able to enjoy more beauty and have functional lavatories, showers and places and spaces where they reside, on the globe, that they can proudly call their first choice of home. Know Your Role to Assist Others and Do So Emphatically!

[mfabp-blog]

Who I am by Simone Glasgow

I have been told I am a gusher full of secrets. My mom says that I’m sensual and fearless. These aren't characteristic I’ve ever necessarily thought of myself as, but people who know me very well think these things. I think there are disparities between perception of self and how others perceive you. Those descriptions aren't negative ones, and I can’t complain about the way I am viewed by the people who love me.

I see myself as sensitive, quiet, funny, and creative. I see myself as an artist, and a student, and someone with a lot to learn and a lot to work on. I want to be more knowledgeable, more empathetic, more kind. I want to be nicer to myself. I want to write more.

I come from a family of five in Portland, OR. My mother is a queer woman and I was raised by queer women so I can't say that doesn’t affect how I view the world. I do live in a very liberal area so my family structure has never been one that has had to cause me shame or fear which I am grateful for. I was also raised by parents who struggle with mental health, and I know my mother has experienced a lot of trauma but I also know she is an amazing mother and role model. She shows tremendous strength, intelligence and is incredibly caring. I don't know how she does it.

I think being yourself is difficult. There is a lot of safety in not making noise. I am an emotional person and I’ve spent a lot of time crying in public. As I’ve gotten older I have done this less because it's less acceptable. There are a lot of things you can't tell people about yourself right off the bat. There a lot of things I can't tell people in general. And there is also a lot vulnerability I carry with me on my body.

Some self expression I am proud of is that I mostly dress however I want. However, I don't always want to do that, it's exhausting to always be checking your body or wondering what people see when they look at you. But I love clothes and I love style so that's part of my day I look forward to, wearing clothes that I like. When I don't feel safe doing that, for whatever reason, it's very disheartening. I think it can be difficult to be yourself, and difficult to be vulnerable but I also think it's possible. I don't think you always have to either, sometimes you can tone it down, sometimes you can hide the parts of yourself you don't feel comfortable with, or others don't feel comfortable with. I think that's okay too.