#but illogically I cant believe that until a second party goes 'nice' and I can stop spiraling and realize I'm not crazy or a liar

[jacqcrisis]

why is it the second I post a fic, my brain starts spiraling and I convince myself Ive actually just posted something so badly written and incomprehensible that I should delete my whole account and never write ever again? why does this happen every fucking time?

i read the damn piece like 30 times. I wrote the damn thing. I know the sentences have structure and the story is able to be parsed. why is it I believe my self-perception is so skewed that i've gaslit myself into thinking the thing I just spent for fucking ever on is legible to normal people and is not, in fact, the offensive ramblings of a squirrel stepping on a keyboard?

the answer is imposter syndrome and severely low confidence but I wish this wasn't a fight every time I post fanfic that only somewhat concludes when someone pops in and says 'hey, this was legible and comprehensive and not the worst thing i've read :)'.