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girlgenius1111 · 13 hours ago

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grey november

leila ouahabi x reader r moves to manchester to be with her girlfriend, leila. manchester, however, is very different from barcelona where r grew up. it's an adjustment, and one that's taking it's toll on r. leila notices, and tries to make it better any way she can think of.

basically r has seasonal depression. very light angst, mostly fluff and leila being the sweetest girl in the world 🥰🥰

—

Manchester was very grey. Of course you’d known that, but the reality of living it was something else entirely than hearing about it. Rainy and overcast could be cozy. Spending the occasional rainy day inside wasn’t something you minded living in Barcelona, but your move to Manchester had increased those rainy, overcast days.

It was your first winter there, the first time you’d be spending an extended period of time in Manchester. The first two years Leila had spent in England, you’d remained behind in Spain. Mostly because your career, your family, your whole life was in Barcelona. Except… it wasn’t. Two years passed of flying to Leila, and her flying to you, and you never got used to it. Never got used to waking up most days alone in the bed you used to share, cooking breakfast in the kitchen alone where she’d used to sing off key every morning. And after two years, and no indication that Leila was coming back anytime soon, you’d realized life was too short. There would be plenty of years in the future, after football, that you could spend with Leila in Spain. For now, though, you ached for her every day. For her infectious laugh, the lines by her eyes when she’d smile, the way she slept with her head shoved under her pillow instead of laying on top of it.

Leila had wanted you to come in the first place, yet understood it didn’t really make any sense for you. But as much as you missed Leila, every second of every day, she missed you more. She’d never ask you to move for her, but she needed you.

She’d cried when you told her you’d be moving to Manchester.

It was the end of May, one of the biggest months for your girlfriend and her team, and you’d taken time off work to go see her. The idea of moving to her had been swirling around in your head for a few weeks, and it slipped out one morning as she tried to extract herself from your embrace and leave for training.

“I just want to be with you. All the time,” she’d murmured.

And with very little grace and absolutely no planning, you’d replied.

“What if I moved here?”

First, it was disbelief you saw on her face. And then, when she was sure you were serious, large tears welled in her eyes as she tackled you back down onto the bed, shoving her face into the crook of your neck and repeating over and over that there wasn’t anything she wanted more than that.

Leila had been late to training that day, and you’d made the move in July.

The first month was perfect. August and September, as well. October brought colder weather, more rain, more clouds. November was where it really started to go downhill. Leila was away with City and with the national team for what felt like half the month, and you were just… there.

There, in Manchester, with only your job to keep you busy. Very few friends outside of Leila’s football ones. It seemed lonely, more than anything. You didn’t realize what it really was until it was already happening, until you’d slipped back into a place you hadn’t been in since you were an overly angsty teenager.

Every day was harder than the last, the ones without Leila being the absolute worst. But you couldn’t let her see, couldn’t let her know. Your sweet, sweet Leila would be crushed with guilt. She’d try to move teams or scientifically alter the climate in England. You didn’t want her to feel bad; it wasn’t her fault the weather had an alarming impact on your mental health.

So, when Leila was home, you were fine. You were good, because you had to be. You laughed at her jokes and let her put on a film in the evenings after dinner knowing full well she would start kissing your neck within 10 minutes, and the movie would be forgotten.

When she was gone, you let yourself crumble. Staying in bed longer than was socially acceptable, wallowing in the oppressive weight that had settled on your chest. And when she’d get back, you’d make yourself pull it together. It was a cycle, one that began in November, and by December, one that you weren’t sure how to get yourself out of.

The thing was, you were so busy acting fine that you forgot to make sure Leila actually believed that you were.

—

Leila had been gone all weekend. An away game in London and an issue with their return trip kept her gone an extra day, but finally she was due home. The weekend for you had been… well, what had become averagely terrible. Most of it had been spent doing absolutely nothing, all the while your mind raced with all the things you should have been doing. You simply didn’t have enough energy for any of those tasks, though, the exhaustion you felt bone deep and paralyzing.

A few hours before Leila was due home, though, you dragged yourself off the couch. If there was one motivator, one thing that could get you out of your head, it was that Leila couldn’t find out. She just couldn’t.

You weren’t sure she’d get it, to start with. Leila was… Leila. Sunshine and smiles and laughter, all the time. Even when you weren’t dealing with depression, Leila’s social battery could long outlast yours. She’d go out and do something social with friends every day if she could. You’d never been that way, needing time to recharge between work and… work the next day.

Before Leila, you didn’t do things on weeknights. But Leila brought you out of your shell, and you found yourself craving more time with others, as long as she was there too.

So as much as you were beyond sure that your girlfriend would work tirelessly to understand where your head was at, you didn’t think she could. You didn’t think she’d be able to listen to you explain what was going on and not try to fix it. It wasn’t that you didn’t want Leila’s help; it was that you knew she’d give you a million suggestions that you wouldn’t physically be able to bring yourself to do. And she wouldn’t get that, you were sure.

Leila couldn’t fix this, so there was no reason to burden her with it at all. As much as you wanted her comfort, you couldn’t push your problems on her when she wouldn’t have the answer.

So, you cleaned the whole house in two hours flat. Changed the sheets, vacuumed behind the couch, and made dinner. By the time Leila arrived home, the house was perfect. Nothing out of order, nothing to suggest you’d spent the whole weekend on the sofa crying or sleeping or just staring at the wall.

Of course, Leila could see it on your face the moment she saw you. The bags under your eyes, the way you seemed to drown in her clothes.

She swept you into a hug, tucking her face into your neck and felt you sag against her.

Your hair was damp and smelled like her coconut shampoo, and you were mumbling something about dinner and watching a movie, but all Leila could think about was the way you melted into her hug, and the look in your eyes as she’d come through the door. Relief, and exhaustion. Deep, all encompassing exhaustion.

Gently, she nudged you back a little, her eyes locking on yours as she studied you.

“Are you okay, my love?” Leila asked softly, her expression warm and inviting.

For a second, Leila thought you might tell her what was going on. Your expression wavered a bit, but you blinked hard and forced a smile, leaning in to peck her lips.

“I’m fine! Excited to have you back.”

It was a lie Leila could see right through, but if she knew anything about you, it was that you were too stubborn for your own good. Leila could push and push, ask and ask, but you wouldn’t tell her what was going on until you felt ready. There wasn’t anything she could do about that, so she just nodded, pulling you back in by your wrist and kissing you much more fervently.

By the time you broke apart, there was a dazed look in your eyes, but a different kind from before. Satisfied, your girlfriend tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Did you say something about dinner?”

It took a minute for the question to process, your mind suddenly overcome with the softness of Leila’s lips, the little sliver of abdomen peeking out from her crop top, her slightly tousled hair. She was so pretty. You never got used to it.

“Uh… yes. Yes, dinner. I made dinner.”

With a grin, Leila grabbed your hand in hers and pulled you towards the kitchen.

“It smells so good, amor. Like the best thing I have ever smelled!”

You rolled your eyes at her enthusiasm, heading towards the stove to take the pot off the burner. As you rounded the kitchen island, though, you stumbled, foot catching on the trash bag sitting on the floor. Leila was across the room like she had super speed, steadying you before you could really come close to falling.

The trash. You hadn’t taken it out earlier like you’d meant to. The house wasn’t perfectly in order. And god, neither were you. The façade you were putting on crumbled within a second, all the time you’d spent making sure you seemed fine meaningless.

It wasn’t really a big deal, that you’d forgotten to take the trash out. It was just the last straw of an horrible, overwhelmingly emotional weekend.

“I’ll take this out, if you want to pick a movie?” Leila said easily, oblivious to the way you were about to fall apart next to her.

Leila grabbed the bag, her back to you, pausing when you didn’t reply to her. Then, she heard a small sniffle. She knew that sniffle, knew it from when something bad happened to an animal in a movie and you tried not to openly weep. She dropped the trash bag, turning around with a furrowed brow.

“Cari?” Leila prompted softly, moving closer as she saw your lip begin to tremble. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

It was as if the question had unlocked a floodgate inside of you, and before you could even think to stop yourself, you were stumbling forward into Leila’s open arms, burying your face in her shirt.

“Hey,” she murmured, wrapping one arm tight around your midsection, and resting the other on the back of your head. “Hey, it’s okay, baby. Everything’s okay.”

Wordlessly, you shook your head against her, clinging on tighter because you honestly weren’t sure what would happen if she let go.

Leila wasn’t letting go, though. She tugged you in even closer, squeezing as she rocked the two of you back and forth gently. “I love you. I love you so much.” Her voice was barely a whisper in your ear, but it was exactly what you needed to hear from her. Because, god, you didn’t love yourself in that moment.

The tears began to stop much sooner than you were expecting, and Leila was turning off the stove and leading you into the living room within a few minutes. You moved away from her to sit on the sofa, but she shook her head, sliding onto the couch and pulling you to lay directly on top of her.

One of her hands slipped up the back of your shirt, fingers tracing mindless patterns into your skin. She cradled your head with her other hand, making sure you stayed as pressed close to her as you could be. Leila held you like she could make everything better just by doing so.

For a few minutes it was quiet. That was one of your favorite things about Leila; she was talkative and loud when she wanted to be, but she was also content to just… be with you. Just sit and let you gather your thoughts, no matter how long it took. Leila waited, more patiently than you thought you deserved.

Finally, you found your voice. “I’m sorry.”

Leila scoffed, and you were sure she’d have flicked you if you hadn’t just been crying.

“I do not accept, because you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“You just got home and–”

“And nothing, baby,”

“ –and I fall apart because I’m a disaster,”

“ You aren’t a disaster!”

“ –and you have to deal with me and you shouldn't have to,” you finished despite Leila’s interruptions. You pulled away from her embrace, sliding off her body onto the soft next to her.

Her lips were pressed into a thin line when you looked at her, frustration radiating off her. It was such a departure from her normal temperament that you forgot entirely if you had anything else to apologize for. Instead, you just stared into her deep brown eyes, waiting for her to say something.

“I… I don’t deal with you. You are not a problem I have to solve. I love you, it isn’t a burden for me to be there when something is wrong, when you are upset.” Leila’s voice was practically trembling with conviction, so you reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a squeeze. It was obvious that it hurt her for you to feel this way, for someone she loved and cherished to put such little value in themselves.

“I know that, Lei. I know, I’m sorry. I’m just not myself.”

Your girlfriend softened, then, her spare hand tugging at the ends of her ponytail like she always did when she was nervous. “Why aren’t you yourself, hmm? What’s going on?”

And though you’d spent the whole weekend thinking about it, the whole month practically wallowing in it, there weren’t any words in your head that would convey the weight that you felt resting on your chest.

“I… I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to say it.”

“Is… do you want to break up?” Leila asked quietly, the tremble of her voice matching that of her chin when you snapped your head to look up at her. This was always what she defaulted to, and you should have known better than to speak so ambiguously. Leila loved so hard, so deeply, she often worried it was too much. She worried it would drive you away from her, as if you’d ever grow tired of her adoration.

“Leila, no. Never. It’s not that, you’ve not done anything wrong.” You reassured her the best you could, brushing a soft strand of pin straight hair away from her forehead. Leila released a deep breath, concern returning to replace fear in her eyes.

“Then what is it? You’ve been off for weeks.”

You shifted uncomfortably, hating that you hadn’t been as good at hiding it as you thought. “I think I’m depressed.” You admitted finally, staring down at your hands as you began to pick at your cuticles. Leila’s hand covered yours almost immediately, her other gently tilting your chin until you had no choice but to make eye contact.

“You think?” Leila pressed. “Or you are?”

It was just like Leila to make you be as vulnerable as you could be, but you couldn’t deny it was one of the things you loved about her. The way she always saw through your futile attempts to write off your emotions as only partially valid.

“I am.” Voice no more than a whisper, you shrugged helplessly, tears stinging your eyes once again. “I don’t really know what happened. I haven’t felt like this in years, but suddenly I’m here and it’s– I don’t know.”

Leila’s eyebrows furrowed. “Here? Do you think being here has something to do with it?”

At this, you averted your eyes entirely, pulling your hand out of her and staring at a spot on the rug, where the design swirled into several different colors.

“Amor, you can tell me.” Leila implored. “Please. Is it England? Being away from your family? Your friends? Your new job? Do you not like the apartment?”

Finally, you raised your eyes back to your girlfriends, finding a desperate need to fix looking back at you. Exactly what you hadn't wanted.

“No. I mean, I miss my family and my friends but I’m so happy to be here with you. I like my job, I love our apartment. It’s…”

“What, baby?”

It suddenly felt so ridiculous. So stupid. What were you supposed to say? The clouds are making me sad, Leila. The rain makes me want to curl into a ball in our bed and never get up again. The weather in this country is draining all the happiness from my body.

“It’s the weather. The clouds and the rain. And the cold. I just… I never want to leave the apartment. I never want to go anywhere because it’s terrible out, so I don’t go anywhere and then I feel terrible about myself. I miss the sun, Leila. It’s so stupid, that it’s having this much of an affect on me, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I’m losing myself.”

“Oh, baby.” Leila sighed, uncrossing her legs so she could pull you in close to her chest. “That’s not stupid, not at all. That’s a real thing, a completely real thing that you are dealing with.”

And though you’d known that, it felt like a weight off your chest to hear Leila say it. You allowed yourself to relax into her, allowed yourself to feel the weight of your emotion in her presence in a way you hadn’t in a long time.

“There are so many things we can try to help you. We can find you a psychologist, and get you back to Spain for some sun more often. We’ll fix this, amor, I promise. We’ll get you back to yourself.”

Leila’s words were mumbled into the top of your head, and you found them more comforting than you were expecting. Even if you’d known she’d try to fix it… even if you hadn’t wanted that. Leila was going to help you, and that was a massive comfort. You nodded into her chest, gripping tight to her shirt in a way you hoped would convey how grateful you were to her.

The two of you sat there in silence for several minutes, wrapped up together so tightly you weren’t sure where you ended and where Leila began. It all felt less heavy just then, more manageable. You knew, though, that telling Leila what was going on was only the start of the process.

—

The next day was a good one; the sun had emerged from its cloud prison for the first time in weeks, and you’d gone for a run. As much as you hated to admit it, the exercise helped, as did the sunlight. Leila had been gone before you’d woken, though you thought you remembered waking just barely to a soft kiss pressed to your head and sweet words whispered into your ear.

It was a recovery day for Leila, and she was meant to be getting treatment down on her calf anyway, which had been giving her some trouble. She should have been home just before noon, just as you’d arrived home from your run. As it was, you’d had time to shower and make the two of you lunch before Leila walked in the door, a full hour after she was supposed to get home.

You weren’t suspicious or anything, mostly just curious where she’d been. The question didn’t even have time to leave your mouth before it was answered, though, Leila practically bounding into the kitchen holding a bulky box in her arms.

“Hi my love!” She grinned, putting the box down on the counter and sweeping you into a hug. Leila spun the two of you around, pressing kisses all over your face as you laughed, the flutter of her lips tickling your skin.

“Hi, Lei,” you replied, Leila finally halting her attack on your face so she could kiss you once on the lips.

“Hi.” She murmured against your mouth. “I missed you.”

“You were gone for like… 4 hours.” You chuckled, winding your arms around the back of her neck and pressing yourself closer to her even as you teased her.

“Still missed you.” Leila smiled, her face overwhelmingly earnest and adoring. “I got you a present!”

“No, did you?” You teased, nodding at the large box sitting just inches away from you.

Leila just rolled her eyes, shoving you lightly as she reached for the box and tore it open.

“It’s a light therapy box! You sit in front of it, and it shines on your face, and it’s supposed to feel like the sun!”

Leila was so excited, yanking the rectangular light out of the box and presenting it to you with a flourish. Your heart melted, knowing then that Leila had stayed up long after you’d gone to sleep, doing research to try to figure out how to make you feel better.

It was funny, that you’d been worried about her trying to fix you before. Leila wasn’t trying to fix you, and you weren’t sure how you’d thought she'd do so. Your girlfriend just wanted to help. Help wasn’t fixing. It was just what a good partner did.

“Thank you, Lei. Really.”

Leila blushed adorably, pushing hair out of her face as she smiled at you. “Do you want to try it?”

Lunch sat on the counter behind you, but it wasn’t getting cold, and the hopefulness radiating off your girlfriend was enough to have you nodding enthusiastically. The next second, Leila had to light in one hand, and your hand in the other, yanking you towards the living room.

For just a second, you thought that if her love could cure you, you’d never have gotten to this point. But you had. Love couldn’t cure you, but it could help. And Leila was determined to help.

—

The light therapy box wasn’t the only thing Leila got you, but her other gift wouldn’t be ready for a few more weeks, until the two of you were home from spending Christmas with your families in Spain, before returning to England for New Year’s Eve.

The time you spent in Spain was perfect. More than perfect. You got to see your family, got to enjoy the warmth. Well, it wasn’t warm by some standards, but it definitely was now that you’d spent time away from Barcelona. More than anything, you got to spend pretty much every second with Leila. No football to interrupt, no media commitment, no national team. Just you and Leila, spending every day together however you wanted to.

As such, your mood had improved. It wasn’t perfect; you could still feel the echo of the deep exhaustion lingering in the peripheral of your brain. You were deeply dreading going back to Manchester and falling back into the pit of depression you’d found yourself in not too long ago. It terrified you, that things could get bad again and you wouldn’t be able to fix it. That this was just how you were now, how you would be for the rest of your time spent in Manchester.

You could go to therapy and let Leila sit you directly in front of the light box as much as you wanted. There were certain aspects of your life in Manchester, though, that just meant loneliness. And that was what got you more than anything else.

Unbeknownst to you, though, Leila had been considering this exact point. The two of you had talked it over, talked it to death why you were feeling the way you were. You maintained that it was just the weather, but Leila could tell you were lying. Could tell that her unavoidable absences at times were really taking their toll on you.

And, ever the helper, Leila had come up with an idea.

—

“Shh.” Leila whispered. “Stop meowing, you’re going to spoil the surprise.”

While you slept in, Leila allowed herself to be impulsive, something she often fought in the name of being a responsible adult. It was mid morning, the day after you’d arrived back in Manchester from Spain, and Leila had snuck out to retrieve her idea.

A small, white and black kitten, with ears too big for his body and the biggest eyes Leila had ever seen on a kitten. She’d almost cried when she saw him for the first time, the sheer level of adorableness emanating from the little kitten. Leila had known in an instant he was perfect for you, a little buddy to be here when she couldn’t.

She’d gone to get him while you were still asleep, picking him up from the shelter and stopping to buy about half the pet store on her way back. The kitten would have no shortage of toys or treats, that was for sure. But now, as she crept into the house with the kitten curled up in her arms against her chest, she began to get nervous.

What if you didn’t want a cat? You loved your friends' cats, had talked about getting a pet before, but… maybe you’d changed your mind? She should have asked you first.

It was too late now. Mostly because she’d already adopted the kitten, and partially because she was attached, too. This was her kitten, even if they’d only really known each other for an hour or so. All she could do was pray you thought this was a good idea, or she’d be stuck with a kitten she adored and a girlfriend who was furious.

The small kitten mewed again, and Leila froze, just a few feet from the partially shut bedroom door.

“Shh, pequeño. We have to make sure she likes you before she finds out how noisy you are.” Leila whispered, peppering kisses onto the top of the little guy’s head. He pawed at her face in response and she giggled, before slapping a hand over her mouth.

“Lei? Are you… laughing to yourself?” You called, having woken just a few minutes prior and heard your girlfriend mumbling to herself. “And did you meow?”

“Um… I have a surprise.” Leila called back, still not moving any closer to the bedroom. She was using the voice she used when she spilled an entire mug of coffee on the white carpet in the living room, and you were suspicious instantly.

You sat up, eyes wide with surprise. A surprise… that meows. It didn’t take a genius.

“Come in here and show me.”

It was silent for a moment, before Leila took a deep breath and moved closer, gently pushing the door open.

“Oh… oh my god.” You breathed, scrambling out from under the covers and moving closer to your girlfriend. “Is that a cat?!”

Leila nodded nervously, holding the kitten out to you with both hands. “Surprise?”

It was clear to you that Leila had not entirely thought this through, the anxiety on her face speaking for itself. Expression still unreadable, you took the kitten into your arms, almost cooing at how he snuggled into you, apparently sleepy from giving Leila a hard time earlier.

“I… I know I should have asked you first. But I also know you hate being alone here, and I’m gone so often right now, and I just thought not being here by yourself might help. I should have asked first.” Leila spoke rapidly, hands gesturing wildly as she spoke.

You weren’t really sure what to say. Leila was known to do impulsive things, absolutely more of a ‘don’t ask permission, ask forgiveness’ kind of person, but you’d never expected her to do this. On the other hand, though, Leila was right. Absolutely right, and you’d been thinking about how to bring the idea of getting a pet up to her. Apparently, you hadn’t needed to worry about it.

In your arms sat the sweetest, most adorable kitten you’d ever seen in your life, purring softly as you gently rubbed his head. And standing just across from you was the sweetest, most thoughtful person you’d ever met in your life; how could you be mad at her?

“You should have talked to me first.” You began, softening as Leila cringed and nodded, quiet apologies spilling out from her. “But this… this is kind of perfect, Lei. I was thinking about asking you how you felt about getting a pet. And this guy… he’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Leila exhaled, relieved as if she’d been told the world had narrowly avoided a nuclear crisis.

“Oh thank god. I don't know what I was thinking. one second, I just wanted to help you feel better, and the next… I was buying a cat.”

Your girlfriend seemed genuinely baffled at her own actions and you couldn’t help but laugh, tucking the kitten under one arm and lifting the other, gesturing Leila closer. She scooched in, slouching herself down so she could tuck her face into your neck.

“I love you.” She murmured. “I just want you to feel good, to be happy.”

You tilted your head so you could kiss her temple, overcome with how very loved Leila made you feel.

“You make me very happy, Lei. Thank you.”

Leila just held you tighter, thinking she’d buy every cat in the world if this was your reaction. She’d buy anything, do anything, to see such a happy smile on your face.

—

#woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso one shot #leila ouahabi x reader

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fairyhaos · 2 days ago

Text

❖ kiss your heart // xu minghao

minghao x f!reader, 1.1k+ words

tags: established relationship, both xmh + yn are RICH rich, fluff, kissing, marriage/proposal talks, minghao is literally so in love omfg

warnings: pet names (angel, sweetheart)

notes: literally me rambling about rich + devoted minghao with absolutely no direction planned and i think it's super obvious HELPP but it does not matter !! ur honor i luv these 2 theyre so sassy smitten and it devastates me

“you’re actually the worst person i’ve ever met.”

you glare at your boyfriend as he gets out of the driver’s seat, walks around the front of the parked car and opens your door for you. he’s still smiling that faintly smug smile that’s been on his stupidly handsome face ever since you left the restaurant, and you hate it.

“sweetheart,” minghao says, taking hold of your hand and helping you out of the car, “it’s really no big deal.”

you scoff, rolling your eyes. releasing minghao’s hand, you deposit your purse into his waiting palm and flounce away, across the car park and to the apartment building doors.

minghao struggles to hold back a laugh as he trails after you. “y/n. you’re not truly mad, are you?”

“of course i’m truly mad,” you huff. “you said i could pay for our date this time.”

during the five years you’ve been dating minghao, he’s taken you on a whole variety of incredible dates. from the impromptu long weekend to paris to the days where you just go to the restaurant down the block for dinner, minghao has never failed to take care of you and always pays for your meal.

any other person would be flattered to have such a rich and devoted boyfriend. and really, you adore that about him, too.

but, well. you’re rich also. and sometimes, you want to be the one to dote on your boyfriend.

you punch in the building code unnecessarily hard and stomp through the automatic doors before minghao can catch up with you. from behind, you can hear him laughing, and it makes you whirl back around to look at him, pouting extravagantly.

“i don’t see why that’s so funny. you promised, hao,” you whine, and minghao just laughs again.

that night had been just a normal date night, nothing more than the two of you dressing up to go to that one upscale chinese place that you both love. and so, it seemed like the best day to finally start paying for your dates—if it was any big occasion, minghao would’ve definitely protested against the idea, insistent that he wanted to treat you on such a special day.

and at the time, it seemed like it would work.

minghao had smiled at you, adjusting the pearls around your neck, and agreed.

you’d felt ridiculously satisfied, excited at the fact that finally, you’d have a chance to pay for your boyfriend. but oh, how wrong you were.

“i’m sorry, angel,” minghao says now, brushing a finger over your cheek fondly before pressing the ‘up’ button for the elevator. “it just so happened that i’d already paid for our meal before we’d even got there. i didn’t want to burst your bubble by telling you so, but i guess that made it even worse, hm?”

you whine again in frustration. “hao, that’s not even a thing! you can’t pay for a meal in advance!”

“i can when i know exactly what we’re going to order,” minghao grins.

“what?! i swear, that must go against restaurant etiquette! that's actually crazy behaviour. i can't believe you did that."

the elevator arrives then, and minghao gestures for you to get in first. you do, still arguing with him over restaurant rules and whatnot. even as you do so, supposedly very upset over his behaviour, you still hold onto his arm and lean against him to take off your heels, and then pass them over to him once they’re off your aching feet.

minghao smiles amusedly, terribly smitten.

“—going to get you back for that stunt one day, xu minghao,” you say, stabbing an accusing finger into his shoulder. “gonna book out the entire restaurant. no, wait, the entire street! we’re going to venice one day, and i’m going to close down a whole road for us only. just you wait.”

the elevator doors open with a ding, and he trails behind as you continue talking, dreaming up big plans on how to treat your boyfriend sometime in the future.

it’s devastatingly endearing. he knows it was maybe a tiny, tiny bit mean to advance-pay the bill tonight, but in his defence, he does that most nights anyway. plus, he likes seeing how pouty you get over it, knowing you're not actually upset, but still insisting you are because you can pay for your own meals, without minghao's card, thank you very much.

and you very much can—he hasn’t run the numbers in a while, but he’s pretty sure you’re richer than him right now—but he likes paying for you. likes taking care of you like this.

he inputs the keycode to the apartment, chuckling as you continue to rant.

“okay, alright,” he finally concedes, opening the door and letting you enter first, taking off your wool coat for you and hanging it up by the door. “in which case, how about a compromise? i pay for our ordinary dates like these, and you can pay for special occasions.”

your eyes light up at his words. “wait, really?”

minghao laughs. “yes, really.” he puts your purse on the dresser by the door, your shoes in the shoe cupboard and then takes off his own. “except for valentine’s day, white day, our anniversary, and your birthday. i’ll be paying for those.”

“what?” you complain. “hao, you’re leaving me with nothing!”

“you can pay for my birthday.”

“come on, that’s a given. i would do that anyway.”

you’re giving him those big, sad eyes again, and minghao can’t help but smile even wider. lord, you’re just so pretty and you love him so much and he’s never been more grateful for that because he loves you so much too.

“well,” he says, pretending to think, “we don’t have an engagement or wedding anniversary yet. so if those things ever happen… then maybe…”

your eyes widen, little sparkles appearing in your irises even as your entire face softens, gentle and hopeful. “you’re… you want to marry me?”

minghao can’t take this anymore. he walks over, takes your face in his hands and kisses you, once. and then again, deeper, softer, for good measure. just to get his point across.

“of course,” he murmurs against your lips when he pulls away. “i love you.”

you lean in and peck him on the lips once more. “i love you too,” you say, and then pull away so he can see the mischievous glint in your eyes. “hey. if i propose to you, then i��ll definitely get to pay for every engagement anniversary we have, right?”

minghao laughs, pulling you back into his embrace. “sure, sweetheart. that’s only if you propose to me first, however.”

“are you trying to start a proposal race, minghao?”

“maybe. will you join in, y/n?”

you laugh, looping your arms behind his neck and bringing his face close to yours again. “oh, it’s on.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @kellesvt @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @tulsa24 @melodicrabbit @dokyeomkyeom @hopeless-foolery

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shaisuki · 12 hours ago

Text

𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗚𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗦 ━━━━━━ 黎深

— it wasn't your place to dictate what his heart wants but sometimes you wished his affections were directed to you — just once. was it difficult to spare you crumbs of affection or when Zayne noticed how you start to pull away from him and it was too late for him to realize how damaged the relationship was you desperately trying to build and you got tired of wanting him. can he still get you back? or must he turn to drastic measures?

notes. requested by @itsmearia01 . to be continued in part two

content warnings. angst + unrequited love + arranged marriage + emotional neglect + emotional cheating + non mc reader + insecurities + doubts + lack of affection + slow burn + drinking + clubbing.

It is said the most successful of marriages comes from respect and it shall evolve to mutual understanding for the parties involved.

That's what you thought to yourself when you come of age that you were informed of a arranged marriage to your childhood friend, Zayne.

It had come to that arrangement for Zayne's parents have saved your mother from the complications of birth just to have you and upon your birth comes the arrangement that their child and you shall be brought to union later in life. It was a fine match indeed. That's what your parents and Zayne's agreed.

Thus, it came hurting you later at life.

Zayne is respectful and never treated you different from others. Although he ignored you most of the time and feels like you didn't exist in his life. Well, who could blame him. It wasn't a match he chose for himself, it was his parents and yours. It was unfair that he didn't have much of a choice.

Blinded by your admiration for him — it didn't deter you how cold he was to you. Zayne's heart was made of ice and maybe you can melt it. You knew Zayne was a softie after all. Cold and stoic he may come, he did care. He likes animals, children too that's why he's close to his patients. He's also fond of sweets! That's why you pack him extra sweets and learned to make macarons, his favorites.

That's why it never bothered you when he treats you like air. At least he knows he have a fiancee. That's what you say to yourself. Convincing that one day, Zayne will look at you in your eyes.

It was far fetched dream though but you could dream. Looking positive.

Not until she came in the picture and oh, how you wished you were her. What efforts that you poured just for him to say a word about you takes her for only a second. Zayne looks at her eyes. Zayne compliments her and he always noticed her first.

You did try but all it takes for her was to come and melt the frozen heart of Zayne. His heart wasn't totally frozen, it was incapable of being thawed when it comes to you. He's sweet on her and that's when you realize — you lost the battle, a long time ago.

He was with you but he's mind was with thoughts of her. You knew he wasn't going to pursue cardiology if it wasn't for her. She's sick. A heart syndrome but Zayne spent his studies understanding the human heart and the Protocore Syndrome. It was all for her. His achievements was for her.

How could you also compete? Zayne fondly mentioned her that she's a deepspace hunter and possesses a rare type of Evol — Anhaunsen Class: Resonance. Amazing! Good with kids, cheerful, and she's pretty with her pale skin, long straight dark brown hair and she's thin too. You were not.

You can't even get the same response as Zayne would have spoken to her. He deeply cares for her. Why wouldn't he be? Zayne even took as being her primary care physician.

It doesn't matter though, you still support him for you were going to be his wife and he as your husband. If he doesn't want that, he should have called off the engagement a long time ago.

And as soon-to-be-his wife, you can endure it. That's how a marriage should work when another one endures for the comfort of the other.

It doesn't matter when he prioritize her. She's sick, what could be your reason. He's her physician.

It didn't hurt when he forget to eat the lunch that you prepared for him. He's a doctor, he's busy with operations even you later learned that they had lunch together.

It didn't hurt you when he gave you a plushie knowing that it was a duplicate and she owned one too.

It didn't hurt when he's uninterested to you, he could be obvious about it but he didn't.

It simply didn't hurt cause you were used to it and then one day, you stopped caring. You didn't even have the strength to cry and if you did, you'd be joining Heartbreaker crying near the trash bins.

The clock read one pm. It's lunch time for Zayne and he didn't have the time to grab food in the cafeteria when it's only thirty minutes away for the next scheduled operation and he remembers you always brought him lunch. It's usually placed in his desk. Wrapped in pastel blue square cloth, dotted with snowflakes and a snowman in the middle but there was nothing. Yvonne hasn't informed him earlier of your presence so maybe you forgot it.

Checking his phone, there wasn't a message too. He ignored it. He presses his phone off and decided he will just grab a bite later.

At first, it didn't bother him.

How your messages were a rare occurrence nowadays. A casual — how's your day? Or a simple good morning. Usually when he wakes up it's the influx of messages coming from you. Texting him what he wanted for dinner or what how's he feeling for the day or the simple cat video that you know he likes. Now, he's staring at the screen. The last message were a week ago.

Then, how you don't speak anymore with mirth.

The café was nice. She recommended it. The atmosphere was cool and he doesn't hear your voice anymore. Quietly sitting while sipping your drink — your gaze fixated on a distance. You casually hum and that's the end.

“Is something bothering you?”

Wow. A full question. That's a first.

The ice in your drink clinks as put it in the table. Absentmindedly stirring the cold liquid with a straw. “It's nothing of concern.” Your gaze focused on the table. It wasn't wiped properly. You barely glanced at him.

“I won't push you to say something but I'm here to listen to you.” How assuring. Zayne notices how you didn't much respond. Casting a side eye glance, your eyebrows raising a bit and your lips pressed in a thin line.

He was about to say something when his phone rings. “Go on.” You weakly drawled. He swipes the phone to the left declining the call. “It's my day off. I shouldn't be bothered with work.”

A humorless chuckle left your mouth before you can stop it. Work. It's her. “I'm sorry, you don't reject calls like that, Zayne. Don't let me hinder your work.”

“No, my day offs are reserved for you.” He said with a small smile.

It was more like a obligation than willingness. He doesn't enjoy being with you. He rather prefers being with her.

“If you say so.” You finished your drink. Grabbing your shoulder bag, you stand up. “I shall not occupy much of your time. I'll be going.” Ignoring his comment, you pushed your chair.

“(Y/N), did I do something to upset you?”

You shaked your head in dismissal. “You didn't do anything to upset me. I have urgent matters to attend to, have a good day.”

“Do you want something for tonight.” He attempts again to offer you. Something to ease your mind.

“Don't bother.” Is what you said before leaving.

Later that evening, the doorbell rang. You were finishing the last touches of your makeup and you pat your brush down before putting the final touches of your makeup.

Opening the door, you were greeted by Zayne and usually, you've gone ecstatic. Always eager with him being in the room and you can only look at him indifferently.

“Zayne, I didn't know you were coming.” Opening the door wider to let him in. He took his coat and puts it in the rack. You noticed he was holding multiple plastic bags containing the contents of your grocery list. You ignored it.

The cardiologist followed you with his gaze. Noticing your all dolled up appearance. Your tube denim dress layered with a white shirt. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Clubbing with a few girlfriends.” Your voice clipped and you went back to your room to grab your bag.

“You don't like nightclubs.” He casually commented. Putting the groceries in their rightful places in the cupboard.

“I don't but it's a nice change. You know, you didn't have to stay here. You can go if you want.” Tapping the heel of your platform boots in the floor.

“It's fine. Do you want me to drive you there?” Zayne offerers. Loosening his tie.

“No.” You shortly replied and slammed the door.

It was a weekend. The club was packed with sweaty bodies crowding in the middle of the dance floor. The neon lights bouncing at the rhythm of the loud music. This wasn't your scene and yet, he sees you happily dancing with a friend. Laughing under the lights when your friend whispered.

Zayne have followed you. Concerned of your well-being.

It feels different and Zayne wasn't used to seeing you like this. Unexpected for someone who acts so proper and prim. He knows that everyone have pleasures but this was different.

He watches you drink. Downing a glass, shots after shots. Drinking the burning liquid like it was water. Zayne's brow furrowed, lips pressed in a thin line. He approaches you.

The brightly colored glass looks tiny in your fingers. You admired the liquid sloshing as you tip it back and forth before bringing it to your lips but before you can drink it. A voice popped besides you.

“That's enough.” His tone firm, grabbing the shot glass from you and putting it on the table. You blink lazily, your movements light and your mouth looser. “Who do you think you are to say that it's enough?” It wasn't a question. You tried to grab the drink again but Zayne holds your wrist.

“You're drunk.”

“I'm not.”

“That's what people say when they're drunk.”

Zayne pulls you away from your table. Picking your handbag on the way as he excused you from your friends. You didn't even struggled when he dragged you away from them.

His black Audi A6 is parked and he opens the door to put you in the passenger seat before turning around to sit in the driver's seat. He rolled down the windows in your side. Zayne pulls the seatbelt, making sure you're properly strapped in your seat before doing his.

There's a purr coming from the car after he starts the engine. You remained silent. Eyes glossy and your lips curled. Silently staring at the city lights. You glanced at him and you never felt so resigned at a person. Is this how people felt when they got tired of chasing the person who remains so distant from them — cause if it is — you were done.

Zayne stole a glance at you. Your head propped in the window of his car. He can see the city lights twinkling in the reflection of your eyes. You were in no doubt at the edge of drunkenness. Has he not interfered you were probably wasted with a major hangover. He continued driving. His eyes on the road, his hands on the steering wheel.

The vehicle stopped in front of the building where your loft is located and you didn't bother to wait for him to open the door. Yanking your seatbelt and letting it slide to its place, you popped the door open and slipped. Walking towards the entrance in small wobbly steps.

Zayne followed you behind. Keeping up with your pace. “Careful.” He steadies you up when you almost tripped. His expression remained neutral even you recoiled from his touch.

You messily swiped your card before punching the numbers before stumbling inside. Your shoes felt incredibly tight. Your fingers fumbling over the laces. Zayne kneeks in front of you. Easily undoing the laces of your boots before pulling the zippers down in the side. He holds your ankle before tugging your boots. He did the other part.

You stare at the man in front of you. Zayne was like a snowflake in your palm — melting. Slipping from your fingers and only to be returned to something new. Different but the same. Sucks he's not that in form to be with you.

“You should rest now. You don't want a hangover in the morning.”

“I told you, I'm not drunk.”

“Then can you tell me what I did something to upset you?”

“For being a party pooper.”

“It's not like you to act that way. Your well-being is my concern.”

“Come on, don't give me the doctor crap.”

“I'm your fiance. I should look after you. You're my priority.”

Priority. Hah.

A hollow laughed escaped your lips. Giggling as you stand up and finding your footing. You stumbled in the living room. Your shoulders shaking in laughter. It must be the alcohol.

Zayne looks at you — confused.

“I'm not your priority, Zayne. I'm an obligation. Something you keep cause it is needed and we both know it.” You look at him in his eyes and your heart breaks a little.

You exhaled before letting out a shaky gasp. Tears brimming at the corner of your eyes. You hated being weak. You hated being hurt.

“You started being concerned when I stopped bothering you.” Then the spiel of you being ignored. Of being hurt began to unveil.

“Don't you ever talked about me being your priority? I'm your priority? Is that so? Cause the last time I checked — ” You brought your finger to your lips, the habit you do when you're thinking before looking at him. “I wasn't for the last time - No, wait. I wasn't for the last years. No, no, no. I wasn't in your whole life.”

A tear slipped out and you furiously wiped it away in frustration. Mad at yourself for trying, for being such a fool.

“You are drunk and you must rest now.” Zayne went to approach you but you slapped his hand away.

“I'm sober as I can be and don't you dare ask me again why I'm upset. I'm upset all of the things. I'm so sick of trying! Of trying to chase after your affections.!”

“You should have said in the first place that you didn't want to do anything with me rather than ignore and act like it's your obligation to be with me! I can understand it! I'm not so dumb, Zayne!”

The words rings in the space of the room. Zayne remains impassive. His green eyes staring right back at you and you felt pathetic. A outburst is all you needed for him to look at you.

Blinking back the tears, your fists clenched on the side. You have lost your words. One must act a fool to be noticed. You lost the strength to speak one more word. The rush of blood pumping in your veins felt like drops.

A beat of silence passed. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at you.

“(Y/N), I—”

“I'm glad you still remember my name.” You said dismissively before running back to your room and slamming the door shut.

#♱ ⋮ shai's works⸝⸝#chubby reader #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #lads x chubby reader #lads x reader #lads zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #zayne x non mc #zayne x chubby reader #lnds #lnds x reader #love and deepspace x chubby reader

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ellinights · 22 hours ago

Text

XAVIER: LET LOOSE (M)

Now, the way one of the sleeves of Xavier’s robe is slightly drooped down, it reveals his very muscular arm and the soft pale supple skin you adore. Your eyes shamelessly rakes through the sight, his ribbon is tied loosely so his chest would be on display. Xavier is already slightly flushed, soft crimsons of red slightly daint throughout his skin.

Or, Xavier and you are seeing who tugs the string first, after the night of sensory test.

fandom: Love and deepspace.

pairing: you (afab) & shen xinghui/xavier.

tags: nsfw, smut, rated explicit, 6k words, mdni.

additional tags: kissing, making out, penetrative, unprotected sex (wear ur condoms pls), hickies, teasing, creampie. honestly this is full on porn and smut no plot so enjoy the filth.

disclaimer: The content below is purely fictional, All content is also 100% my work, DO NOT copy/plagiarize my writings.

AO3: link

“What are you doing?”

The familiar soft ring of his voice drums through your ears, sending slight shivers down your spine. However, within the gentle whisper rupturing from the other male’s throat, there is something swirling in his words, something suggestive.

Your head turns slightly to his direction, eyes gazing towards him intently. Something else is definitely in the air, because holy.

The days after the mission you and Xavier shared to investigate on protocore fragments were in high rise, tension fills the air between you both the day after the sensory ‘test’. A loose thread hanging by slim, ready to snap any moment but it is still holding strong. You know yourself, and Xavier too, that night was not enough. The desire to go again, to take each other in bed, and to be devoted to each other without hiding it under a lame excuse such as a ‘sensory test’, is so potent.

Mind flashing back to that night, it plays in your mind like a broken record. Each time you remembered how your delicate fingertips gently traced along his hot skin, down to his neck. Hearing Xavier’s soft hitches of his breaths, the way his pretty sky-blue eyes rolled over the back of his head each time your warm breath fanned over his skin when you marked over his collarbone. Oh you want to see him in that state again.

But also a state where he was going wild, showing no mercy as he rammed into your insides while sending you on edge, a sight to die for. The restraints that were holding him all these times you knew him, were not seen once he took you in the cold bed of that hotel. It was a hot view to behold, his ragged breaths with hushed whispers how he was going to ruin you sent shivers down your spine.

You are greedy, for more.

And now, Xavier is still here. The usual, composed demeanor set across as he is sitting beside you, hands place nicely over his lap as he perches over your shoulder trying to look at what you are browsing on your phone on the living room couch.

What you were not expecting to see though, is what choice of clothing he decided to pick, again.

The view right beside you is Xavier wearing a bathrobe, nothing out of abnormality but the way he is wearing is alluring. You knew he was doing this on purpose, wanting you to break the string of patience instead of him.

Someone with a lot of pride in their patience huh?

Another observation you realized after the ‘test’ was how Xavier was wearing bathrobes more often now when he is home. Sometimes, he would wear it over his pajamas during nippy weather, and at other times, like this. He would wear it without anything underneath, allowing the outline shape of his cock to protrude over the silky fabric. Ribbons tie very loose, so loose that sometimes ‘accidents’ where his cock would slip over the middle slit of his robe, a little ‘surprise’ for you.

Oh the sneaky man you are, Xavier.

You were in disbelief, it went on for days, leading on till today. And it only elevates from there. Now, the way one of the sleeves of Xavier’s robe is slightly drooped down, it reveals his very muscular arm and the soft pale supple skin you adore. Your eyes shamelessly rakes through the sight, his ribbon is tied loosely so his chest would be on display. Xavier is already slightly flushed, soft crimsons of red slightly daint throughout his skin.

And behold, his cock slips out again, this time it is hard, red and leaky. Xavier is already needy, you chuckled inwardly at that. One thing never fails to surprise you on Xavier, he gets hard so easily, could get turned on within moments.

Your eyes flick back up to now see his oh so pretty face. The same flush over his body brushes over his face, accentuating the beauty of Xavier’s visage. The red compliments the little faint freckles over his cheeks, the red makes the blue of his eyes gleam brighter under the soft lightning in the room, the red mostly matches with the color of his red, rosy lips that you want to smooch it over and over. Your imagination takes afloat, imagining a pair of fluffy bunny ears on top of his head with the sight of this. Cute.

He is so beautiful, Xavier is so beautiful.

The lack of response coming from your part made Xavier scoot closer again, his breath fanning over your neck as he asks again. “What are you searching for?” Xavier asks nicely, like a good boy, sounding so obedient. You shiver again.

“Some sheet masks.” You answer, with a slight stutter as you feel his breath again, goosebumps spreading over your skin. Xavier hums as a response, and what he did next is not what you expected.

Before you know it, Xavier’s strong pair of arms holds your waist and swoops you over to have you sit on his lap. You hear yourself let out a soft yelp, eyes widen slightly in surprise. Now, you snug over him, you could feel the tip of his cock perching your behind as he rest his chin over your shoulder.

“Hm? Again? You still have some left in my fridge.” Xavier mutters softly, nuzzling himself over as he gently closes his eyes. Your brain feels fuzzy for a bit, malfunctioning even at the bare minimum of what the other man is doing. You were wrapped around his finger a little more tightly than you thought.

Adjusting yourself on Xavier’s lap as you shift against his strong, muscular thighs, a deep breath is drawn within the confinements of your chest. Your mouth is not cooperating with your thoughts, wanting to tell him that stocking them up would not be a bad idea since he is using it as well. But nothing is coming out.

Xavier does not wait, instead he dives in. Diving into the crook of your neck, his lips ghost over the side. It hovers there, tiers brushing at every little shift you do on his lap. Goosebumps again form all over your skin, shivering at the soft intimacy shared.

“Xav..? What-"

Sentence goes unsaid, Xavier’s lips attach against your hot skin. His sweet, soft pairs gently roam around a small patch of your neck, spreading soft kisses over. As if he is writing pretty love notes in the form of hickies, he takes a small nibble on the centre, earning a soft groan erupting within the depths of your throat. Your pretty lips part, panting heavily over the ministrations done, encouraging the male to mark more.

“X-Xav What are you doing?” you finally ask, in between your soft huffs. Xavier on the other hand, just hums.

“Shh, nothing.” Xavier only replies with that, mouth busy. Despite the short reply, he sounded breathless, desperate, and needy.

Squirming against Xavier’s lap, your hands clutch onto his larger hands around your waist, back fully lean against his chest. With his position, he rubs himself against. Vibrations spread through your skin, hearing his groan muffling at the release of pleasure done puts Xavier on edge.

The moment you have been waiting for, the string finally snaps. In a swift move, your body turns and quickly places yourself over his lap, thighs straddling on each side of Xavier’s legs. The other male could look at you dumbfoundedly, however from the looks of it he is already spent. Lips parted, eyes hazy, body yearning to dive back in and indulge into you again. This causes you to emit a small chuckle to flow through your lips, before your arms find its way to settle right around his broad shoulders.

“Finally, someone snapped.” you let out a teasing remark while you move closer to Xavier. Mouth millimeters apart, lips brushing ever so slightly if anyone moves. Xavier could only grumble, eyes shifting away from yours to look at your tiers.

“Do not tease me now-”

“I didn’t know someone as composed as you would snap the strings first in a situation like this. You thought I would break in first.”

“Enough-”

“Oh what happened to the cool and composed Xavier hu-”

Words did not reap out of your throat anymore, as something plush and soft pressing upon. Little to your surprise Xavier’s lips find a way to yours, a way to keep your mouth shut. His lips did not move as gently as he is used to, the sweet princely-like man you know is gone. Chasing for a taste of your sweet ones, his lips trapping your lower lip between to give a good suck before pulling away. Continuing, his mouth maps along your lips as his self control slips.

Xavier’s hands move from his sides to cup over your cheeks. Holding them still, his control is dominating, relishing you while his hands slip down further to explore every expanse of you. Contrary to before, Xavier has a sense of familiarity now. The night in the hotel, his hands were still timid and shy at times. Now, not an ounce of fear shows. The male’s palms move freely, with no shame. The way his dainty fingers brush against the wide of your back as it slowly trails down in a tranquilizing manner. Trailing back up to touch the height of your neck, fingers brushing teasingly there earning a soft shiver from you.

Not wanting to back down, your hands also move boldly. Taking the advantage of his loose robe to gently caress the exposed part of his shoulder to which caused a response from the other male. A soft, sweet gasp shared between you and his lips as his skin shivers. You push away the fabric, letting Xavier’s robe slip down to gather around his waist, so as the both of you, lips slipping away while heavy, breathless pants filling the room.

“How could you restrain yourself like this?” Xavier is the first one to break the silence, words mix in between his irregular breaths. You could not find the words to reply, still catching your breath but also your mind is occupied with wanting to see the man in front of you wrecked and done for tonight.

All thoughts poof away when Xavier’s head thumps against the front of your shoulder, nuzzling there like a little kitty. The imagery in front of you, as if he is screaming for your attention. Seconds after, his head turns up slightly to look at you. Nothing else reflects within the irises of his pretty blue orbs other than need.

“I am mad at you.” the words lays heavy upon the silvered hair male’s tongue, but he does not let you ask why before he continues. “Day after day, tried to gain your attention. Didn’t even notice what I have been wearing for you, wanting to look good for you, didn’t even acknowledge it.” Xavier says, grumbling his way out. Despite the sexual air still standing in between you two, the sight beneath you is too endearing to ignore

Until his lips find his way to your neck again, he presses his lips at the centre firmly. Once more, a soft yelp escapes past your mouth, hairs standing everywhere. Tongue dipping out, he licks a small part, his possessive tendencies shining through to claim you. As if Xavier’s mind reads the endearment you have for him, he wants it gone. He parts away after, brows furrowed in disbelief.

“Still think it's funny?” Xavier breathes in sharply through his nose and before you know it his arms hook under your arms and knees, standing up while carrying you away to the shared bedroom. He is not discreet with his annoyance, throwing you on the bed with no care before he climbs on top of you. His bigger figure hovers over yours, his expression still agitated before he speaks.

The room is quiet again, as yours and his breaths become one. Knowing from the judgments of your observations, Xavier is thinking of what to say. How to break his silence. Clearly his plan backfired, and it seems to be a bigger deal than what you thought it would be. It is when you try to make the first move he cuts it away.

“Xav I did notice you were wearing that and I-”

“After that day, my mind could only repeat one thing. The way I took you under me, to please you. Need that so much, I want you again." This time, there are no hints of aggravation lacing through Xavier’s voice. Only desperation, as his face contours with want.

“Yeah, I broke my composure once more. But trying to seduce you over and over backfired. So let me ask you directly then.” Xavier then leans closer, faces so close just like how they were on the couch.

“Please, let me have you again. Please.” He begs, eyes gazing right through you like a lost puppy wanting its owner’s approval.

How could you say no?

In response, you give a soft peck his lips with the distance, giggling in between before pulling away. Xavier in return, hums softly at the shared kisses, lips puckering to return each and every one of them to you.

“You didn’t need to seduce me in any way just to get what you want. I’ll always say yes, for you.” Your heart blooms with the way Xavier’s face lights up. Soft flicks of light particles glide through the air, you already know how his heart is feeling.

“But.” You then slowly sit up, causing Xavier to back away a bit. Confused, his head tilts to the side before your hands find its way to his so you could guide them to touch your waist. Leaning in closer to whisper against his ear, just like how you did in the hotel to call his name but this time you give an order.

“Help me take off my clothes. It is not fair that you are the only one naked. Right?” Your soft snicker rings past his ear, something stirs within him. Without wasting time, his hand starts working quickly. Fingers holding onto the hem of your shirt he pulls it over your head. Next, hooking onto the waistband of your pants, he tugs it down along with your underwear leaving you bare from waist down. Lastly, Xavier’s hand behind your back unclasps the garment holding your bosoms, letting it fall against the bed.

With the both of you on the same page, while you can only focus on how the air strikes, coldness gently grazes against your skin creating an uncomfortable feeling, Xavier’s mind is elsewhere. His eyes follow through your figure attentively. The soft curves, small details of your skin from moles to freckles. The height of your breast, nipples perked up from the chilly air, Xavier thinks you presenting yourself bare and naked, is the most majestic sight he has ever seen. No art, no expensive painting could replicate such beauty you embody.

Finally, the core in between your legs. Xavier’s eyes flutter down, seeing the pink plushed sweetness that he wants to devour so much. If he could spend his time there endlessly, in suffocation he would. On the other hand, with you noticing his long stare, your legs squeeze shut in response out of sheepishness.

“No-” Xavier shakes his head in disapproval, his hand reaches over to your knees to hold them in place. He stops there for awhile, eyes flicking back to yours before he moves your knees apart to spread your legs away.

“Let me see your pretty princess parts, spread your legs and keep it open for me.” He gently instructs, hand caressing through your leg up and down. You could not help but to burn the moment his skin touches yours, let alone what he is about to do next.

It is something about the way Xavier looks at you wherever, butterflies fluttering against the pit of your stomach. You could almost feel wetness pooling around your hole the moment he looks at you as he lowers himself down. That tantalizing look of his, a rare sight to see from a composed man, and knowing you are the only one who gets to see this state of hunger from him is arousing to say the least.

Once Xavier’s face is out of sight, he is facing directly against your crotch area. Staring intently in between the core nestling between, hunger takes over as he sees the view, the outer lips wet and slicked from your own sweetness. Satisfaction washed over as he hums, the thought of having all of this to himself appeals to Xavier so well. Without warning, he gives a small blow towards the centre of your cunt, causing you to shiver and involuntarily narrow the gap of your legs.

“Keep them apart, my love.” Xavier’s firm hands hold onto your thighs and keep them apart again. His eyes meet with yours once more, with a look of warning plastering all over his face. Adding the endearment at the end did not take away his authoritative tone, but it turns you on slightly with his duality. Nodding your head, you oblige.

Diving back in, he does not waste time. He indulges, lips placing soft kisses over the expanse of your wet lips. Sucking every sweet nectar dripping out of you, he takes it in willingly. Almost drowning in his own pleasure of your taste, he lets out a soft moan against your hole causing a vibration. A moan erupts within your throat, responding to his administration.

“Fuck Xa-” Words leave hanging, once Xavier’s lips attach against your clit to give a gentle good suck. The small bundle of nerves, sparks signals of pleasure all over your body. Your head throws to the back of the bed, eyes rolling back slightly as your hands grab onto the rumpled sheets beneath you. You moan wantonly, feeling too good from the continuous stimulation there.

Xavier keeps his palms busy, roaming along the soft supple skin of your thighs. Lips leaving your clit to press kisses over said skin, his slender digits ghost softly over your wet core. Your breath hitches, feeling its presence coming close. However, he never touches, only hovering the spot. Only soft grazes between the pad of his fingers and your cunt. A whine escapes within you, hips moving forward to try and take him in.

“Mhm- Patience, baby.” Xavier warns again, halting his movements as he pulls away again. Taking over control, his arms hook under each side of your knees to manhandle you close so your hips elevate slightly from the bed. His face on par with your cunt again, this time his tongue does the action. Lapping all over every part he could touch, dipping into the entrance in short intervals as a tease before he repeats everything again and again.

Seemingly a scheme to punish from so called disobeying him, his teases are relentless. Xavier goes on and on, poking but not completely devouring you just yet. Your patience is running thin, whines getting desperate and loud. While Xavier takes it as entertainment, it is hell for you. Whatever teasing he did back in the hotel room nights ago, is nothing compared to this.

“Ah- Xav don’t play with me right now-”

“You couldn’t keep yourself still for me when I told you to, baby.” the name of endearment again, sparks flushes against your skin. Remembering how it affected you when he first called you that, almost coming to his sweet, sultry seduction wrapped in the word “baby”. You know he is using it to his advantage, as if he is trying to rile you up, to set the levels fair as his.

It is almost ridiculous.

“You still can’t let go of that huh? Need to tease me right haah- now? I told you I didn’t mind-” the next thing Xavier does, almost sends you to the edge. Without any notice, his tongue dips further into the canal. Almost imitating the feeling of filling you up, your moans peek up into a high pitch. Back arching away from the mattress, your lips could not contain the soft chants of his name from slipping away.

“Oh- yes please. Don’t stop Xav please- Need more.” You beg like a mantra, more moans filling in the air. With how your words act as a trance for Xavier to obey, he gives in and dips his warm muscle further. He gives a soft flick, tickling the inside of your walls. This causes you to squirm, the continuous attention given now feels too much, a familiar pool rippling against your lower abdomen.

“A-Ah I’m- Fuck Xavier I’m gonna..” The pool gets even more intense, the peak is getting there.

And suddenly, everything stops.

You knew even after your explanation, the man in front of you can get sulky, especially when things do not go his way. You knew Xavier was slightly bumped on his wasted efforts. Which you have guessed why earlier he was edging you out.

But it backfired him again, as he came while he does so.

The walls within you constrict, trying to search for something to suck and squeeze on but alas, nothing it could find to replicate the feeling. As a result, Xavier pulls away and before you could get mad over him trying to tease your waters today, all thoughts vanish away from the sight of the male in front of you. Eyes droopy, face flushed with embarrassment, his soft strands sticking against his sweaty forehead. His lips cover with a small sheen of you as it trails down to his chin, his soft breaths kills the eerie silence of the space. But what shocks you the most is as your eyes rake down further, is the sight of his cock.

The sheets beneath stains with his release, his cock spent as remains of his come smears along the underside. The tip, a mix of his precum and his seed settles atop. It is such a messy sight to behold, gaining amusement from how hard he still is.

Suddenly, the male grunts, head drooping down as if he is in shame. Your head tilts, slightly confused before you hear him speak.

“Can’t believe I just cummed at eating you out.” Xavier says in disbelief, groaning softly while he covers his face with his hand. This earns a loud laugh from you, before closing the gap between you and him as you pull him into an embrace.

“You silly, don’t be embarrassed about it.” Soft reassurance comes out from your tiers, your hand comes up to smooth down the back of his head. You further add on. “Besides, it is quite hot to know you get turned on easily like this, Xavier.” The way you said his name, exactly the way you said it in the same low whisper at the cramped bed of that night. Something ignites in Xavier, as the way his body tenses after that while his cock twitching did not go unnoticed.

Chuckling softly, you pull away from the embrace, and slowly lower yourself. You did it in a way that is painful, agonizing as you put on a show for him to see. The way the curve of your back promenades even more in this position, the perk of your ass showing through the back but most importantly, you keeping an eye on him without breaking contact.

In his mind, Xavier thinks he could come again with this sight of you.

Without much thought, only mind full of him, your hand reaches out to take ahold of his cock. Helping it to direct to your mouth, your lips gently circle around his tip. Eyelashes batting bashfully, you maintain contact with him as you part your lips away.

“Sorry, I’ll focus on my boy from now on. Your advances, whether it's to seduce me or just to gain my attention. I’ll focus on you, yeah?” You ‘apologise’. Xavier on the other hand, shivers. His hips move forward spontaneously, still sensitive from his high earlier on.

“As a way to make it up, let me help you clean you up.” You offer, darting your tongue out to gently clean the underside of his cock. Your motions cause Xaiver to huff heavily, breath fanning softly as his chest rises up and down erratically.

“I forgive you. Ah..!”

At that moment, your lips take his tip again but also slowly swallow his cock wholly. Only using the reason for cleaning up as an excuse, your motive lies bare right in front of him. The sounds you want to hear the most, the same old but beautiful moans of the male. Soft, light, airy. The sounds bless your ears, as your head starts to bob up and down to extract more of your blessing.

“S-Shit. Not too fast, please..” Xavier warns, eyes closing to immerse himself into the pleasure. One of your hands starts to caress the front of his body, from his strong thighs that are earned from centuries of wielding a sword, to his prominent abdominal muscles that reflect the same strength of his endurance to be the best of the best.

You choose to hear him, plopping away from his cock but replacing it with your hand from his abs earlier. Wrapping around them, you give a soft stroke for starters. Thumb pressing against the slit, beads of precum ooze out from him making your strokes less frictious. The pleasure intensifies, his soft moans start to irregulate. Turning into short grunts, he whispers hushed pleads due to his greed.

“B-baby.. Yeah, just like that. Go faster.” He requests, his own hips moving as if it has its own mind, forward and thrusting into your hand. Obeying his words, your wrist flicks and the speed increases. Pacing the strokes short and fast, your eyes keep glue onto every shift of his expression of reaching his ecstasy.

“A-Ah.. Doing so good, baby. Keep going.” Xavier encourages, while one of his hands reaches to gently comb away your long strands covering your face. The praises send through your pussy, juices dripping out down to your thigh. Keeping the pace, your tongue peeks out to give kittish licks over and over through the slit. And there, you hear a sharp cry, Xavier’s hips jerk forward from the stimulation of his cock.

You keep it steady there, ready to capture his precious seed anytime he is about to burst-

His hand then stops your motions, holding onto your wrist tightly. You on the other hand, despite following and stopping for him, your face has a look of confusion. Swiftly, he moves you down to lay you back again on the bed and he crawls on top of you. The familiar position from earlier on again, this time his cock poking at your entrance.

“Can’t take it anymore.” Xavier says shakily, his cock spreading along your folds, flicking against your clit. You choke out a moan, the sudden pleasure running through you visits again after the denial of orgasm earlier, heightening your sensitivity.

“Need to fuck you now. Can I, baby? Please?” He asks, almost sounding like he is going to cry if he is given a rejection to his plea.

There is no absolute way ‘no’ is an answer, the moment you have wanted for so long after that night lays upon you. And so you nod eagerly, hand reaching down to grab onto his cock to angle it properly against your hole.

“Yes, please do. Fuck me like you mean it, Xav. Need you to fuck me harder than that night.” As blunt as those words you speak, your actions mirror the same. Tugging onto him without a care in the world, needing to have Xavier again, filling you up and completing each other as one.

The way your words transcend to him, his orbs darken. With one push, he thrust in slowly fulfilling your orders. Slowly, he begins to accommodate your velvety walls, stretching them apart, ends of Xavier’s hip meets with yours. Once he is fully seated, the both of you moan in unison. Calling each other’s name in bliss, deluge into each other as a call to ending the long awaited tension.

With that, Xavier’s hips move.

The first thrust is impactful, pulling out only leaving the tip inside of you, before he slams back down. The push is intense, as Xavier has no room for mercy to be gentle anymore. Not that you mind, the need for the man right in front of you to take you like how he did back in the hotel, hot and steamy, taking you apart till there are no pieces for you to pick up for yourself.

You broke into soft sobs, as Xavier repeats the motion over and over again each time increasing the impact. You let yourself fall into his hands, your fingers reaching to thread over his soft silver strands before tugging them softly. As a response, Xavier groans at the soft sting against his scalp.

“Fuck- Fuck Xavier, harder. Faster, ruin me. Don’t hold back.” You coax him out of his shell further, although he is fucking you harder than before you know he still is holding back at the fear of hurting.

You want him to push your limits, to see how much you can handle him. Whatever Xavier gives, you want it all. To tell him it is okay to let go of his stoic facade at times, with you. And so he did.

The way he starts pounding mercilessly into your pussy, elicits a scream out from you. The sight you have been looking for now lays upon your eyes. Disheveled, uncontrollable Xavier is in sight. He does not waste time to snuggle his face against the centre of your chests, lips against your plush breast and starts sucking a hickey.

“God- Mm- You’re pretty like this.. Can’t resist you, baby.” Xavier’s gentle rumble vibrates through your chest. The feathery tone of his voice flutters your heart, the way he is so soft spoken to you despite being in a lewd situation like this reflects on his gentleness which you adore.

“Your pretty cunt, all for me to ruin hm? Have them wide open for me baby, love seeing you like this.” Air almost knocked out from your lungs, the sudden switch up from gentle to rough piques your senses. There is something you still have a hard time to get used to, behind Xavier's calm appearance, he is a freak. It is not that you are not accustomed to this, in fact, you love it so much from him it riles you up easily. Xavier knows where to use this to his advantage, to mould you into whatever version of you he wants to see

“It’s been awhile since I fucked you haven’t I? You’re so tight, sucking my cock like that.” Another string of obscene words coming out from that man’s filthy mouth, your eyes roll as you can feel soft rushes of pleasure run through your veins just by his words.

“Then pound into me harder, Xav.” You manage to say, not submitting down. “Tear me apart, or you can’t anymore?” Deciding to test out the waters, your lips curl up into a smirk as you tease him for a bit. Perhaps it was the way he edged you moments before, that you wanted to take revenge.

Or the fact that as much as you want him to test your limits, you have your own mind to test his. How much could you get away with? Or how much he can suppress, despite seeing him lose his tranquility earlier on, you wonder if he still has barriers to push.

And you were absolutely right. There were more layers to him.

Xavier does not miss a beat or give you the chance to retort further the moment his hips plunges into you further, hitting your sweet spot repeatedly without stopping. The intensity causes the shared bed to creak, bed frame hitting the back of the walls echoing the room. The way his cock opens you apart, sending a satisfying stretch. Knowing tomorrow you would be sore but you couldn't care less, your legs circling around his waist to pull him closer and deeper.

His walls crumble down even further, his careful nature thrown out of the window.

“Ah ah ah.. Yes right there Xavier that feels so good..” You mutter, more moans coming out of you. Words are starting to go incoherent, not being able to make sentences with your mind full of him and the pleasure building up.

“Right here?” Xavier asks, almost too innocent, and you know he is mocking you. His tip pressing against your sweet spot accurately, whilst his big eyes stare at you with a hint of playfulness. Your eyes for the nth time, roll to the back at the stimulation.

Yet, Xavier is not satisfied. With a shift of his hips, his hard on misses your spot on purpose, causing you to lose all senses of pleasure. A loud whimper in protest, your eyes regaining back to his.

“No- Fuck Xav.. Why-” You are about to lose it, almost peaking but then got denied for the second time is driving you insane.

“Answer me. Is. it. Here.” Xavier does not sound like he is asking, rather than a command for you to answer him as he repeatedly pounds after each emphasis of the word, missing your spot again. Crying in dissatisfaction, you shake your head.

“No.. It’s not there..” You say quietly, lips softly quivering.

Xavier plasters almost like a sinister smile, before he moves against his spot. Angling his hips upwards, he rams into you, almost certain he is hitting the spot of nerves you need. The same rush travels through your body again, this time stronger.

“Then, is it here hm?”

“Fuck..! Yes yes yes there.. That’s the spot.. Don’t stop please..” Not making the same mistake earlier you blabber out words to him, hazy eyes of yours looking as direct to his. Xavier’s smile grows wider.

“That’s right, my good girl.” Xavier’s voice deepens within the praises, letting out a soft giggle at the state of you. Diligently, he leans away to hold onto each side of your hips, hovering it up so it is lifted slightly. You could feel his cock slip in a greater distance, sending you shock.

The last straw, he goes all out. Starting off strong, he fucks into you with no mercy. Skin slapping onto one another from how harsh xavier is going, in harmony with the shared moans resounding along the confinements of the shared space. There is no space for you to breathe, as he keeps going, chasing for the peak you two want badly. Xavier’s fingers lay across your clit, placing a little pressure before moving it in circular motions enough for you to jolt at the sensation. Tightness coiling at your stomach, you already know that you are close.

“Gonna cum, baby?” He questions, quickening his motions around your clit. Xavier sees through you, knowing that you are close. A scream breaks through, your eyes close shut while you nod.

“Mhm yeah shit- Xav.. so close I wanna cum. Let me cum, please..” Your voice breaks, your own hips move forward to press yourself into his fingers while pushing his cock more, brushing onto your g-spot nonstop.

“Yeah? That bad huh?” The other male asks again, pulling his hand away and focuses back on slamming his cock. His breaths are raggy, a sign that he is also near.

Xavier leans back down, connecting his lips with yours once more. The kiss did not have any sense of direction, irregular and messy as the focus is somewhere else. Nonetheless, to feel your softness, your taste is still needed, in such a way that he feels like dying if he does not in any moment.

“Let it go, cum for me baby. Cream on my cock, you can do that right?” Xavier rambles through his words, grunts against your lips. His encouragements guides you easy, the tug on your stomach gets even more intense, it goes on and on until

“That’s my baby, right there. Let go for me. My precious, sweet girl.”

Strong waves of your orgasm washes over you, screaming Xavier’s name at the top of your chest that could break windows. Your release rushes through your blood, your back lifting away from the bed as your eyes close shut. He continues to ride your high by pounding into you, the pace does not make any sense, slow to fast or vice versa. He is close.

“Mhm sorry.. Stay there baby, I’m gonna..” Xavier did not finish his sentence, releasing into you as he fills your pussy up with his hot seed to the brim. He lets out a quiet cry, almost like a whine while moaning your name sweetly against your bruised lips.

After a few more thrusts, he surrenders. Xavier’s huge frame plops on top of yours. The both of you keep quiet for a while, trying to catch your breaths after your highs. Both bodies, sweaty and warm but you and Xavier could not bother to move as you both grow limp.

Minutes go by, Xavier uses his remaining strength to lift his head up to look at you.

The same, usual big eyed gaze comes back into life, as Xavier looks at you with such innocence and a hint of shyness. No matter how many times you both do it, it seems Xavier would always get flustered by the end of it. The image of him back in the hotel after you both were done matches with him now, which leads to you letting out a small laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Xavier asks, red traveling down to his neck as he brows crease deeper. In return, you shake your head.

“No, it is just how you are always the same. Getting shy after sex.” You point, causing him to groan and hide in between your chest due to embarrassment. But it does not take long, his head lifts up again, chin propping at the centre in between your breasts.

“Was that..okay?” The question itself causes you to frown, you never understand why Xavier has doubts about himself, when he is the perfect version in her eyes.

“Perfect, better than the last even.” You comment, earnestly. Xavier, consequently smiles softly at the praise. Assurance is the core of the essence, everything you both do always greets with an affirmation after. It’s the way you both need each other, being each other’s support and uplift on another, instant gratitude washes over you.

But soon, the softness in his eyes got replaced with a hint of hunger again. Unexpectedly, he pulls out from you, causing you to moan softly at the emptiness, a mix of your juices and his come drips out and pools beneath you.

Xavier then lays beside you, arms propping behind his head as he looks at you with a smug on his face.

“How about we ‘test’ it out if we can beat that score of yours. Let’s see if we can do better than this round.” Xavier says without missing a beat, and not to your surprise, your gaze lands on his cock, already hardening at the sight.

Shrugging, you move to straddle over his lap, come dripping down your thighs. Your pussy sits on top of his erecting cock, sandwiching in between your folds, you both moan together at the touch. “Deal, but this time let me do the work. You’ve worked hard, baby.” The slip of that nickname causes Xavier’s orbs to widen slightly.

You both are in for a long night.

a/n: this is just pure smut ngl, and yes i still can't get over this card. No restraints, you will always be famous. idk if this is slightly ooc but i wanted xavier to be a mix of a tease, slightly out of his mind but also a loser boy because he is my loser 🙂‍↕️

also, really wanted to write it as ambiguous for the gender of "you" but i am not that great at it so sorry for not being inclusive i will learn further so i could make more inclusive ones next time

thank u for reading

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace smut #love and deepspace x reader #lads #lads xavier #lads smut #love and deepspace imagine #love and deepspace fic #love and deepspace x you #love and deepspace drabble #xavier smut #xavier x you #xavier x reader #love and deepspace headcannons #lnds #l&ds

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poweredbycoffee · 2 days ago

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Ateez if you were marrying them

Hongjoong:

money is no object when he’s in love, the engagement ring is custom made with your input during the process and he insists upon taking you to dinner so he can propose afterward even though you know what’s coming

will hand over his credit card and tell you to have fun when you start dress shopping, fashion king that he is can’t help but ask what you looked at and suggests that if you can’t find what you want he knows a few designers

writes his own vows even though it takes him a week to figure out how to convey how much he loves you in a few sentences

gets a tattoo of your wedding date during your honeymoon because when it comes to commitment he’s all in on your future together

Seonghwa:

proposes while you’re on vacation together, sneaks a selfie of the two of you into one of his Instagram posts because he wants to show you off

who needs a wedding planner when your husband to be is this good at making things look elegant, wants you to be surrounded by your favorite flowers for the ceremony

most likely to have a destination wedding somewhere like Italy because he wants to be married in a place that will always remind him of you

saw Lego wedding cake toppers online and had to have them, saved them after the wedding and displays them with the rest of his collection

Yunho:

proposes on the balcony of your apartment the day he gets the ring because he cannot wait to show you that he got the one you’ve been dropping hints about for three months, the neighbors applaud when you say yes and he picks you up for a kiss

imo the only member who has his wedding at an actual church instead of the usual wedding hall because to him marriage is a spiritual commitment as well as an emotional one

wears a black or dark blue three piece suit instead of a tuxedo for the wedding because it’s more comfortable and has the added benefit of making you unable to take your eyes off him the entire time

you bet your ass he carries you into the hotel lobby in your wedding dress when you check in for your first night as husband and wife

Mingi:

so nervous when he proposes that you say yes the second he presents you with a ring so he doesn’t have to worry about flubbing his words when popping the question, he looks visibly relieved and utterly adorable

pays for a wedding planner so neither of you have to stress over the details

most likely to risk his life getting a peek at you in your dress before the ceremony because he can’t stand the suspense and wants to tell you as much as possible how pretty you are

works his ass off with help from Yunho to make sure his first dance with you as husband and wife is all you hoped it would be

San:

total romantic that he is, proposes at the same place where you first met

asked every last one of your friends and family members which engagement ring he should buy because he wanted it to be perfect, including the correct size so you could wear it right away

cries more than you do on your wedding day because he’s so happy he gets to spend the rest of his life with you

definitely a custom made designer tuxedo kind of guy, looks like a whole ass model waiting at the altar for you

Yeosang:

proposes to you in bed one morning where he’s had the ring hidden in his nightstand because he thinks public proposals are a bit too forceful, takes you out for breakfast after to celebrate

shyly asks if he can go dress shopping with you because he wants to be there seeing your face light up when you find your dream dress

loves when you tell him how handsome he is and feels confident enough to not cover his birthmark with makeup for the wedding pictures

most likely to have a civil ceremony so he can spend more on an amazing honeymoon for the two of you

Wooyoung:

brace yourself because this man will propose in public in front of a historic building to make sure it’s an unforgettable memory for you

he talked about wanting to so much that the other members had a bet going as to when he’d actually ask you(won by Jongho who guessed the shortest timeline)

throws the biggest reception of all the members by far, plenty of food and dancing into the night

sneaks you outside for making out once the party’s going so no one notices you’re both absent

Jongho:

proposes somewhere secluded like a park or a beach so he feels more at ease asking you and kissing you once you accept

has a small wedding, friends and family only, and pretends to protest when you try to feed him a bite of wedding cake but secretly likes it

surprises you during the reception with a song in Korean or English depending on your first language because it’s one of the ways he wants to show you he loves you

apologizes after if you cried because he would have felt bad for ruining your makeup but you made sure to wear waterproof mascara just in case, still brushes your tears away

#ateez #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #yeosang x reader #jongho x reader #wooyoung x reader #ateez fic #kpop fic #ateez fluff #ateez imagines

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zlut4rina · 2 days ago

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Imy♡

Storyline: Working overnight at a busy office job wasn't everyone's cup of tea, especially not your clingy girlfriends.

Pairings: Student!Ning x Businesswoman!reader

Warnings: public sex, phone sex, dirty talk (ithink)

Note: Both are 18+, obviously, ik I said I was making ning fluff, which I am obviously, but i wanted to make it two parts, and this just came to mind for part 1. Sorre

Word count: 2k (pretty short, idk how you could make 5k+ with just phone sex 😭)

___________________________________________

You hated your job. It was one of the most insufferable places on earth. But the money was good, you needed the money. You weren’t struggling to pay rent or for food. You were actually quite ahead on your bills. The reason being was because of this job, also with the help of your pretty roommate. After the fallout between you guys and a mutual friend, she was kicked out of their house. So you decided to take her in, of course. Unlike you, she was tight on money but somehow still managed to stay in her uni without problem. Ever since then, you two have been living together, then long after you bloomed a relationship with her. She was now your girlfriend of one year and three months, and you couldn’t be happier.

Present time

While finishing up a few papers left by your boss, you noticed some unopened emails on your screen. When opening them, you see at least 5 different request sent to you by a few employers and your boss. You sigh in annoyance, having a feeling you’re going to be here a bit longer than planned. Scrolling through your inbox, skimming through everything, you finally click one and start working. That’s when a coworker walks up to you, leaning on your wall divider. “How long you plan on being here, I thought only six of us had the night shift.” His question sounded genuine with concern in his voice, looking around the office as if scanning to make sure his count was right. “Seven is an odd number y’know” he lets out a stupid chuckle, one you’ve hated for so long. Looking up at him, taking you from your concentration, you spoke. “I have extra work I need to get done. Maybe I’ll be promoted, who knows. Doubt you would.” The last remark was snarky. You gave him a sarcastic smile, turning back to your work. The man left with a scoff, not before whipping a few papers off your desk, scrambling them in the process. You clicked your teeth at this. It wasn’t anything new. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to by now.

Continuing your work, already done with three of the assignments listed to you, your phone rang. Feeling the buzz on your thigh, you take it out, to your realization it was your girlfriend. You turn your head to the bottom corner of your computer screen to check the time. Seeing it was two hours past when you’d usually be home, a bit of sadness washed over you. Picking up the phone, you put it to your ear. “Hey baby, sorry I’m not home yet. I’ve got extra work I’ve gotta get done.” You spoke quietly into the speaker of your phone. Not to draw attention to yourself, your coworkers were all across the room, some just a row behind you. “It’s fine. I was just worried, is all” your girlfriend said, shuffling in bed, to get comfortable. “How long till you can come home, I miss you” she said in a whiny tone, her voice a bit hoarse due to being tired. She must’ve just woken up, you thought to yourself before answering her. “A while, baby, not too long, though. Don’t miss me too much, cutie.” You chuckled a bit as you spoke, earning a playful whine from the other side of the phone. “Hey I’m gonna connect my headphones so I can finish this work, okay, cutie?” The other girl responded in a hum as you pulled out your airpods and connected them to your phone. I'm sitting right next to your keyboard as you get back to work.

Half an hour had passed with you giggling and snickering at your phone. Finishing some more work, the other end of the call was a bit silent sometimes. She didn’t answer you with words mostly with hums or a few “uh huh’s” there wasn’t a problem in that at all, she was probably sleepy I mean its way passed 10 so of course she’s a bit less talkative. “I miss you” suddenly the other side of the phone spoke. Your eyes widened a bit, taking you out of your trance, and the corner of your lips formed a small grin. “I wish you were here right now” your girlfriend spoke in a soft tone. Barley able to hear her. “Me too, baby. I hope you're keeping the bed warm for me when I get home.” You let out a soft chuckle as she giggled quietly. Once again, you heard shuffling through the phone her sighs we slightly audible too. “Are you sleepy?” You asked after the other end went silent. It took a while to gain a response from her. “No, I can’t sleep, not yet” You laughed a bit at her words. Between the two of you, Ning was very clingy she held onto you like a lost puppy. You two were always together. She would even follow you to the bathroom sometimes. She loved being your little spoon, too, anytime you two cuddled. “You should sleep, love, I won’t be home till maybe around one in the morning” saying this caused you to frown. You really wanted to be in bed right now. Holding your favorite girl, planting sweet, soft kisses on her. But no, you just HAD to notice those emails. “I tried, I need you here, holding me. Your arms wrapped around me, I need you.” Hearing her voice, she sounded so needy, desperate. She really did need you, especially at this very moment.

“I miss you too. I can’t stand being away from you for this long. I haven’t kissed you in forever.” You whined out quietly. It really has been long, seeing as two of your coworkers have already left and headed home. “There’s a lot you haven’t done to me in a while …” the other side spoke, catching you off guard. You froze. Ruffling and strange movements were heard from your phone. It lasted a while, too. Coming to your senses, you finally connected a few dots “Like what baby” you asked in a mocking tone, smiling to yourself as well. “I think you know” her voice was husky, yet her words flew out smoothly. “Hmm I’m not sure. Maybe you could refresh my memory?” You teasingly asked her, your smiling becoming a bit bigger. “Fuck why can’t you just get here already ..” She let out a sharp sigh as she spoke. You giggled at her words, she really does miss you huh “So impatient baby, hmm I wonder what would I be greeted with if I were there right now.” You leaned back in your chair, you felt a bit cocky in this moment crossing your arms behind your head. “Your very needy, wet, horny and spread girlfriend that’s what” you could hear her soft sighs and whines through your headphones. It was a bit too quiet for your liking so you turned your volume up. “That’s a sight to see y’know, fuck I’d love to be there right now and ruin you. I bet that’s what you want huh, my fingers deep inside your aching pussy” a few moans were heard along with a few wet sounds from her fingering her pussy. “Your so disgusting, touching yourself at this hour, begging to be fucked senseless”

Giggling to yourself in the moment you check your surroundings, seeing nobody is paying you any mind you continue to focus in your desperate lover. “I bet you can’t wait for me to get home. Can’t wait for me to fucking ruin that pretty body of yours.” You bit your lip at the thought of it, sighing to yourself. Your girlfriends’ moans were getting louder, you heard a soft thud as your girlfriend placed her phone down beside her. “Fuck, I need you so bad right now!” Ning wasn’t really the time to vocalize her needs like this, she was quieter and let her body do most the talking when it came to sex between you two. Seeing this side if her changed something in you. You had to get this side out of her more often. “I can’t really hear you that well though baby, doesn’t sound like you miss me that much.” You tease her tilting your head placing your chin in your hands, staring at your computer screen. Imagining what she looks like right now. “You wanna hear how bad I need you, yea?” She took her phone in hand and turned her camera on. The camera facing the ceiling, before she slowly brought it down to her milky fingers going in and out of her drenched pussy. You could only stare at your screen, has she lost her mind ? This isn’t the same girl a few hours ago. This isn’t the same girl you gave breakfast in bed to earlier. Snapping you out of your thought, she moved her camera in all angles giving you the greatest views of her soaking wet body. “Fuck baby, see? See how bad I need you right now, you’re telling me work is more important than pleasing this?” her voice became higher in pitch the more she went on, bucking her hips into her hand. So desperate for more, so desperate for you.

The sound of her moans and the way her body moved into her hand was driving you crazy. That should be you. You should be the one pleasing her right now. Except you're stuck here watching your pretty girl work for her orgasm. Licking you’re lips at the sight, your hand slowly went down to your pants, unbutton them swiftly. Looking around the office for any wandering eyes. Your hands slipped down to your soaking panties circling your clit slowly. A soft sigh left your lips as you closed your eyes gently. Your motion on yourself fastening, closing your legs ever so slightly due to the feeling rushing inside you. “Baby ..” you whispered head falling down, biting your lip a little. Roughly enough to leave a mark. Moving from your panties you put your hand inside playing with your wet fold. Slowly teasing your entrance, moving your fingers in and out, but not the full length of them. Your girlfriends’ moans were louder than before the camera shaking, hips bucking up and down. Her tiny whines and quiet curses driving you nuts. “You close baby?” you asked working your fingers in yourself. “mhm …” She answered her voice whiney and needy. Flipping the camera she faced it to her exposed chest, cupping one breast and playing with her nipple. Of course taking her hand away from her heat upset her a bit, but she knew you loved seeing her touch herself. Just for you and nobody else. “So pretty baby, you look so good. Fuck I wish I was there to taste you” your words making her whine and bite her lip, putting her fingers back into her soaking wet pussy. “I wanna feel your tongue deep inside me, taste how good you make me feel.” You couldn’t help the moan that escaped your lips, and honestly you didn’t care if anyone heard. Your too focused on the beautiful piece of art in front of you to care.

Your pace with your fingers quickened inside you, spreading your legs a little wider for easier access. Biting your lip to conceal your moans, you threw your head back against the head of your chair. Phone in one hand and the other in your pants. You could feel your climax reaching near. You could tell she was close too with the way her body was moving and how fast her hand had gotten. “You better cum baby, just for me, ruin those sheets” you gritted your teeth together and you felt closer and closer to the edge having forgotten all about your work, the time, and if the people around you were aware of your little situation. “Fuck baby I’m so close, I wanna cum in your mouth all over your face.” Her words sent you over the edge cumming all over your hands and in your pants. You wanted to close your eyes but you couldn’t look away from her perfect body and how it reacted to finally releasing all that built up tension in her code. She let out high pitched moans and cute whines as she came, not stopping after wetting her fingers she played with her clit a little more. The fast circles she was rubbing on herself made her squirt all over the bed her camera catching all of it. Her body squirmed at the pleasure and release. The call was almost quiet, all that could be heard was the heavy breaths your girlfriend was taking. Her small gasp and her little whimpers. You watched all this go down, finally growing tired of waiting you buttoned your pants up and packed your things to head out and head home to your girlfriend. “Fuck, hurry home, okay? I miss you” your girlfriend said before ending the call.

___________________________________________

#aespa smut #aespa #aespa x fem reader #smut #aespa x fem #ningning #ningning x reader #ningning x fem reader #aespa x reader #kpop smut #kpop #ningning aespa

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enhani-ki · 3 days ago

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hiii! this is my first time requesting but could you write a story with angst where enhypen basically takes you ni-ki’s gf on a trip for work purposes and he was excited to travel with you but ends up calling you clingy for wanting to be around him angst to fluff

like i need you - reader x ni-ki

warnings: very little suggestive, cursing, etc.

the idea of traveling with you, his girlfriend, along with his group members for their overseas schedule made ni-ki really excited.

he had begged you for weeks just to join him, promising it would be fun, promising you'd get to experience what he does, everything, together.

you felt ni-ki's hand held yours, the plane landed and you were really here together now.

a staff member approached the two of you as you stepped into the terminal, they reached for his arm and instructed to exit in a different gate before completely pulling him away.

your fingers slipped from his as he turned to look at you with a conflicted expression.

"go... i'm fine."

tight schedule, everyone moved from one place to another, and ni-ki was always preoccupied.

there's also these endless meetings, rehearsals, and interviews... whenever you tried to be near your boyfriend, it felt like you were being pushed aside.

you really understood that it was busy and you're not about this life, but it also felt like you were losing part of the excitement you had for this trip.

you saw ni-ki walking alone through the hotel lobby after a long day, so you ran and held his hand, and instead of holding too like he usually did, he sighed and pulled away.

"y/n, can you stop being so clingy?"

you froze in place, blinking at him, not sure if you heard him right. y/n? clingy?

"excuse me?"

"so- sorry..." ni-ki ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. "i'm just... i want to sleep."

you swallowed hard, nodding slowly before you walked away.

later that night, you wanted to check on your boyfriend. after all, he wasn't being his usual self earlier.

but he wasn't in his room.

you made your way to the next door instead, heesung opened the door and smiled.

"hello uhh... is riki here? he's not in his room."

heesung nodded, stepping aside to reveal ni-ki sleeping peacefully on his bed, hugging his pillow. "want me to wake him up?" he offered.

you quickly waved your hands. "n- no, don't, please."

"but i don't want him here..." he teased, making you chuckle. "just kidding."

you bowed slightly. "i was just checking on him. thank you, heesung."

he smiled, pulling out his phone. "here, i'll let you know once he woke up."

you quietly left after exchanging number.

and ni-ki spent his free time gaming the next day, his focus were sharp until they started losing. he let out a frustrated sigh before glancing over at heesung, only to see him texting someone.

"wha- hyung!" ni-ki groaned, but his hyung barely reacted to their defeat.

"calm down bitch."

just then, a notification popped up on heesung's phone, ni-ki caught a glimpse of your name.

"is that my girlfriend?"

heesung rolled his eyes. "yeah. check it, dumbass."

he grabbed the phone, scrolling through the messages, smiling slightly when he saw that every text was just also about him, asking if he was okay, if he had eaten, if he was sleeping well.

his irritation from losing the game faded. he locked the phone and tossed it back to heesung.

now, watching him from afar, you weren't sure if he even remembered bringing you here.

you stood near the back of the hotel's lounge, watching as ni-ki laughed with the members and staff, smiling so wide.

he's completely in his element and exactly where he wanted to be.

you didn't know if your eyes saw it correctly, but you swore his smile dropped when he saw you.

you glanced around, searching for someone else he could've been looking at, maybe it's not you because he didn't greet you or at least wave at you.

and if that look was because of you, then it felt like your presence had disrupted whatever joy he had in that moment and that hurts more than anything.

you went back to your hotel room, closing the door behind you before frustratedly collapsing onto the bed.

and when heesung texted you that they were done and just hanging out, you waited for hours.

you: are you gonna talk to me?

riki: what's wrong? everything okay there?

you: no, it's not okay. what's wrong with you?

you: you kept asking me to come with you, and you're acting like you don't even know i'm here.

you felt your chest tighten as you typed.

riki: i'm just busy.

you: i know you are, but you're also done already. i just saw you with everyone downstairs. no cameras.

riki: i can't talk to everyone first?

you: you know that's not what i meant.

it took him longer to reply this time.

riki: okay. just let me know if you need something.

fuck this.

you: i wanna go home.

riki: what? you can't.

you: i can.

riki: stop being stubborn.

a knock echoed through your room minutes later, ni-ki opened the door, and walked straight to you.

"y/n," he called out. "you can't just go home anytime you want when you're in a different country."

you ignored him, reaching for the remote to turn on the tv instead. keeping your focus on the screen, pretending he wasn't there.

"you might wanna think about everyone around you."

that made you scoff, think about everyone around me? like that wasn't exactly what you had been doing this entire time.

you gave him space, let him have his fun, not forcing yourself into his world then it would feel like he really didn't even want you here.

ni-ki exhaled sharply, stepping forward before shutting off the tv.

you glared at him. "seriously?"

"did you hear anything i just said?" he asked, he wasn't angry, just annoyed.

you didn't answer. instead, you turned your back on him, pulling the blanket over yourself, holding back all tears threatening to fall.

he's just really right there, trying to reason and argue when you just really miss him.

at least assure me that i'm still being appreciated here...

ni-ki sighed before running a hand through his hair. he should just leave and let you do whatever you want but stopped when he heard a faint sniffle.

he sat on the edge of your bed, unlocking his phone and started scrolling through your messages, the ones you had sent over the past few days.

you've been so patient.

you've been waiting for him, reaching out, and asking if he was okay.

and he had time... so he could've really replied too, he could've come to see you even for a little bit but for some reason, he didn't.

not because he doesn't love you, not because he doesn't care but because he had been so secured, so caught up in enjoying his life as an idol that he forgot you were part of it, too.

ni-ki felt guilty.

he reached over and squeezed your arm through the blanket. "baby…"

now, it's baby.

you didn't respond again. he sighed, wrapping his arms around you despite the blanket being a barrier. "i'm sorry."

"please talk to me."

you shushed him. he let out a sigh again and did the only thing he could think of. he slid under the blanket to hug you.

and ni-ki's usually not one to wake up right away but he was hugging you tightly in his sleep, that's why he also stirred when he felt you moving.

you stood up.

"where are you going?" he said quietly, his voice were still groggy.

he watched as you stripped off your clothes, stepping into the bathtub and sinking into the warm water.

he rubbed his eyes, standing up to follow you, then sat on the edge, watching you quietly before reaching for the shampoo bottle.

he poured some and rubbed it in his hands, gently applying it to your hair slow and careful.

then, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "you're so pretty."

you didn't respond.

"i'm sorry for calling you clingy," he kissed your forehead again.

"i'm sorry for not replying to your texts," he kissed your cheek.

you finally looked up at him, your lips slightly parted.

"i'm so sorry for making you feel like you're alone." he said before kissing you on the lips.

you sighed, "...are you not excited to be with me anymore?"

his heart ached, you're looking at him like you're scared of his answer.

ni-ki cupped your face, "of course not," he murmured. "i'm always, always excited to be with you."

you bit your lip, eyes glistening as you were about to cry.

"riki... i can't keep up with these..." you sobbed. "i can't relate to you..."

ni-ki knelt down on the floor, wrapping his arms around you. his hands roamed, rubbing your arms, cupping your boobs, just holding you close as he tried to chase away the bad thoughts clouding your mind.

you felt sorry too, thinking about he barely had a moment to himself, let alone to be with you, and he looks so tired too... "riki, sor-"

he chuckled, reaching out to wipe away the tears falling from your eyes. "don't, please." he whispered, "i'll cry too."

you sniffled, rolling your eyes. "no, you won't"

"i will." he grinned, wrapping his arms more gently around your neck, not caring that his shirt was getting wet or that shampoo was dripping onto him. "...i'll force myself."

you let out a small laugh, making him finally breathe in relief.

ni-ki looked at you with a soft smile before pressing a kiss on your temple, "we could go wherever now," he murmured. "let me make it up to you."

a/n: i should've made it more angsty but it's so hard omfg TT hope you like it! also, i realized i fucked up because the request was "wanting to be around" and i think i did it wrong??? SORRY

マスターリストm.list

taglist 𖤘: @dolliewon @ziiao

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starsinthesky5 · 2 days ago

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“fun fact, she wrote about half of the first draft of so high school in one sitting at an indoor practice one day. she was feeling a little too inspired that afternoon, watching him run around in those damn athletic shorts and the black compression tank that drove her mad. let’s just say the storage closet saw a bit of action that day..”

so basically hi yes i need this as a blurb immediately

contains smut and language. mdni

───────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────

(november)

she only meant to sit there and get some writing done. and well, to watch her guy do his thing while she simultaneously did hers.

really. that’s all it was. harmless football fun. or so she thought.

he was her biggest source of inspiration and she needed a good dose of joe to write her next song. daydreaming about him while he was at practice, only did so much, and well, since quite a few football anecdotes were being mixed into the song, she wanted the full-fledged experience. be right in the middle of the sport she was so fond of, and the sport her man excelled at. she followed him around with those adorable puppy dog eyes and that signature pout the night before, begging for him to take her to practice the next morning. at first he was hesitant, not because people would notice her, but because he didn’t want her to catch a fastball to the face.

that beautiful, crafted by the angels, baby face.

he didn’t care if anyone saw her because even though their relationship was still hidden from the world, everyone who needed to know about them, knew. and that included his teammates & organization.

anyway, she convinced him (like she always does since he physically can’t say no to her) by promising that she’d spend the rest of the evening after the game on sunday watching game of thrones with joe. ever since he found out she’s never watched a single minute of—according to him—the best piece of visual media ever created, he’s made it his mission to educate her on the masterpiece that his favorite show ever. he’s been relentless about it, bringing it up at every opportunity, dropping references she doesn’t understand, and even going as far as calling it a “relationship red flag” that she’s never seen it.

so when she batted her lashes at him and promised a whole uninterrupted evening of watching with him—no distractions, no excuses—he caved. just like he always does.

because as much as he loves football, and as much as he takes game day seriously, he loves her more. and if having her in the background, watching him ball with those doe eyes while she wrote so poetically about his goofy ass, in exchange for her curled up beside him, wrapped in a blanket, fully immersed in the world of westeros, is the price to pay?

well, that’s an easy decision.

she was just sitting there on her woodvale tour blanket—the one she brought with her to the private suite every gameday because she called it a good luck charm (that’s a story for another day). her bag placed next to her and her pens, books, and film camera scattered around her. she was tucked away in the corner of the indoor practice facility, far enough away not to disrupt the players but close enough to feel joe’s presence. her journal was open, glitter gel pen gliding across the page as lyrics spilled out in a steady rhythm.

truth, dare, spin bottles, you know how to ball, i know aristotle

“well, i guess that last lyric works for him too. perks of having an incredibly athletic boyfriend who also is the most intellectual person you’ve ever met," she muttered under her breath, giggling at how joe was literally the real life version of the dreamy love interest in every high school rom-com. the kind of guy who could ace a calculus test with one hand and throw a perfect spiral with the other. the one who made teachers adore him, parents trust him, and every opposing team fear him.

she sighed dramatically, twirling her pen between her fingers. “seriously, it’s almost unfair,” she mumbled, shaking her head. “where’s the flaw? there has to be a flaw,”.

there was no flaw about him. good luck trying to find one ;)

and then, a few minutes later, the man of the hour came into her vantage point, and she nearly lost her shit.

joe, in those damn athletic shorts and that black compression tank clinging to him in all the right places, muscles rippling with every throw, sweat glistening on his temple—he looked too damn good, distractingly good. every time she shifted her gaze, there he was, a living, breathing vision of raw desire.

her pen stilled. her thighs clenched instinctively as she fought to focus on her words, but her eyes betrayed her every time, locked on him.

“i’m so fucked,” she sighed, watching how his back muscles contracted with every stretch of his arms. she was lucky that his compression tank wasn’t so meshy otherwise those red scratches all over his back would be on display for everyone and they’d know exactly why joe was a few minutes late to the meeting this morning. oh, and tee & ja’marr would never let him hear the end of it since joe was mr. discipline for those two and their um…personal endeavors.

anyway, one thing that always did it for her, was that black compression tank. and joe knew what he was doing when he put that on in the locker room. since it was bring your girlfriend to work day for him, he thought that he should have a little fun with it since she wanted some…inspiration.

she barely concentrated on writing the song for the rest of practice since she was too busy practically eye-fucking him in front of everyone. she was lucky that none of the coaches saw, but some of the female PT’s definitely were giggling in the corner.

it’s not her fault that joe is literally the hottest man to ever exist. like, scientifically speaking. broad shoulders, strong jaw, those annoyingly perfect hands that look just as good gripping a football as they do gripping her waist. and don’t even get her started on the way his veins pop when he’s focused—it's actually cruel.

it’s not her fault that every time he walks into a room, she momentarily forgets how to function. that her brain short-circuits whenever he wears that damn black compression shirt. that watching him lace up his cleats is somehow the most intimate, most unfairly attractive thing she’s ever witnessed.

she is so down bad. (girl, get off the floor)

it must have been his luck, or the way he felt her stare, because as soon as practice ended, he was on her—storming over like a tidal wave, hardly giving her a chance to shut her notebook before his fingers curled firmly around her wrist.

“come with me,” he commanded in a low, rough tone that tolerated no argument.

he led her down the hallway, past empty locker rooms since he was the first one to rush out of the facility, until they slipped into a storage closet where the door clicked shut behind them. in the dim light, with the hum of players filing into the locker rooms outside, he pinned her against the cool metal wall. “you think i didn’t see you out there?” he smirked, his voice a mix of teasing and urgent need as his fingers slipped beneath her top, tracing the sensitive curve of her spine. “watching me like that? biting your lip, not even hiding that look—you were thinking about me fucking you right here, weren’t you?”.

heat pooled low in her stomach, and her breath hitched as he nestled a firm thigh between hers, the pressure igniting a desperate whimper from deep within. “joe–,” she began, voice trembling from her fear of being caught but also from the pleasure in her veins.

“nah,” he cut her off with a kiss, his hands roaming lower, slipping beneath the waistband of her leggings. “you don’t get to play innocent now,”.

her fingers dug into his shoulders as he captured her lips in a searing kiss—hot, insistent, his tongue exploring as if he’d been starving for her all day. his hands moved over her body with a possessive urgency, tugging her closer, pulling moans from her even as he tried to stifle them by pressing his hand gently against her mouth, but every so often a repressed sound betrayed her desire.

“this what you wanted, baby?” he rasped against her lips, his touch speaking louder than words as he cupped her through her soaked panties, the heat between them intensifying with each slow movement. “you were writing your little songs, getting all worked up watching me, weren’t you?”.

“joe, please,” she gasped, her body arching into him, every nerve ending on fire, aching for his touch.

he chuckled, his hand slipping with expert precision until he was teasing her, a finger sliding inside her, then another, his thumb circling her clit in a way that made her gasp and squirm. “joe, someone will hear,” she sighed, pushing her head forward to rest on his shoulder.

“then just be quiet, love,” he murmured softly against the shell of her ear, his voice a blend of tenderness and raw desire. “i know you have a hard time with that, but you can do it for me, right?”,

her response was a desperate, muffled moan as she grounds herself against his hand, the heat and friction overwhelming her senses, making her crave more of him, more of every touch.

joe groaned softly, his breath hot against her ear as he worked her open with slow, deliberate strokes of his fingers, teasing her until she was trembling against him. “you feel that? so fucking wet for me,” he murmured, his voice rough but quiet, mindful of the footsteps echoing outside the storage closet.

she whimpered, her nails digging into his arms, desperate for more, for him. “joey, please–," she whined again, only for him to silence her with a deep kiss, swallowing her needy sounds as he slipped his fingers out and replaced them with the thick, aching length of him.

a strangled gasp left her lips as he pushed in, stretching her inch by inch, the delicious burn sending white-hot pleasure spiraling through her. he cursed under his breath, gripping her hips as he bottomed out, his forehead resting against hers. “fuck, baby. you take me so good,”.

she clenched around him involuntarily, making him shudder, his control hanging by a thread. he pulled back and thrust into her again, slow at first, savoring the way her body molded around him, then faster, harder, the force of each movement slamming her against the cool metal wall.

she bit down on her lip, trying—failing—to stifle the moans threatening to spill from her mouth. the risk of being caught only heightened everything, made the sharp snap of his hips, the relentless press of his body against hers, even more intoxicating. “joe…ngph…please. fuck– you feel so good,”.

joe gritted his teeth, one large hand covering her mouth as he thrust deep, his other arm bracing her against him. “shh, baby,” he panted, though he was barely able to keep quiet himself, his breath ragged, his grunts low and strained. “you gotta be quiet or this will be over faster than we want,”.

but how could she? when he was pounding into her like this—desperate, relentless, making her toes curl and her knees shake? when his cock filled her so perfectly, dragged against every sensitive spot inside her, made her see stars behind her eyelids?

her muffled cries vibrated against his palm, her body tightening around him, her release building fast and hard. he felt it, cursed under his breath, and doubled down—his fingers slipping between them, finding her clit, rubbing quick, precise circles that had her squirming in his hold.

“c’mon,” he urged, his lips brushing her temple, voice raspy with restraint. “i got you, baby. let go,”.

and she did—her climax crashing over her in hot, shuddering waves, her body convulsing, her nails clawing at his sweat-slicked skin as she trembled apart in his arms. “j..joe, oh fuck,” she whispered, trying so damn hard to keep it together.

joe groaned, barely holding on as she pulsed around him, her tight, wet heat milking him for everything he had. he slammed into her one last time, burying himself deep, his release hitting him hard, leaving him breathless as he spilled inside her.

for a long moment, they stayed pressed together, their heaving chests rising and falling in sync, their bodies still locked in place as they came down from their high.

his breath was still ragged, his body still pressed against hers as the aftershocks of their release settled between them. his forehead dropped to her shoulder, lips brushing over the damp skin of her neck, placing lazy, lingering kisses there. “jesus,” he muttered, voice still thick with pleasure, a breathless chuckle escaping him. “you are trouble,”.

she let out a soft, breathy laugh, her fingers slipping into his damp hair, scratching gently at his scalp. “i think you’ll survive. you’re my big strong man, you got it,”.

he lifted his head just enough to look at her, his lips curving into that boyish grin that made her stomach flip. “barely,”.

he kissed her then, slow and deep, his lips soft, worshipping, like he had all the time in the world. like his teammates weren’t wondering where the hell you two went. it was such a contrast from the way he’d just had her, rough and desperate—like he couldn’t get enough. now, he kissed her like he never wanted to stop.

“so,” he murmured against her lips, nudging his nose against hers. “was that inspiring enough for you?”.

she giggled, nipping at his bottom lip. “maybeeee,”.

his hands tightened on her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. “maybe?”.

she shrugged, playful. “i don’t know, i might need another round to really be sure. still some details to flesh out,”.

he groaned, dropping his head against her shoulder with a dramatic sigh. “you’re gonna be the death of me,”.

“but what a way to go, right?”.

he laughed, shaking his head as he kissed her again, all soft and sweet, like he was trying to memorize the shape of her lips. “yeah, baby,” he whispered, smiling against her mouth. “what a way to go,”.

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow smut #yail asks #yail #joe burrow blurb #joe burrow bengals #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fic

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dollbrbie · 3 days ago

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⋆. 𐙚 ˚ track two — what you need ft, sae itoshi

summary. sae doesn’t care if your boyfriend is the one you want, he knows he’s the one you need

sae doesn’t care that you have a boyfriend. he doesn’t care that he’s some high profile lawyer who can give you the life you definitely deserve. he doesn’t care that he’s probably some decent guy that you really care about. because, sae knows he can’t give you what you need. he can’t give you the excitement and chaos that you crave. he can’t give you the unpredictability sae will always carry with him.

and he certainly can’t fuck you the way sae can, the way you need, and the way that always has you gripping his sheets.

that’s why even after trying to cut him off for the millionth time, you still find yourself leaving your boyfriend’s sleeping figure on his own at 2am, sneaking out and unlocking your car door to drive twenty minutes to sae’s penthouse in a matching black lingerie set, just how he likes.

“shit- sae.”, you moan out as you grip onto sae’s grey bedsheets, your face stuffed in his pillow with your ass slapping against his hips, getting the perfect eye view of your recoil he’s so obsessed with.

“hm? what‘s that?”, he asks so condescendingly, a small smirk plastered on his face as he continues to bottom out inside you.

“s-slow down.”, you mewl out, reaching your arm behind while his powerful thrusts take the air from your lungs, dropping your head back into his pillow to muffle the sounds of your cries.

“aren’t you sweet? i thought you wanted this, didn’t you leave your boyfriend just to get fucked by me?”, he chuckles, grabbing the arm you just reached behind as he continues to pound into your abused pussy, the slapping sounds of your bodies colliding echoing against the walls.

“i do- i do want this. needed it sae.”, you cry out, the pleasure building up around your walls and throbbing against sae’s hardened cock.

“ah- shit.”, he winces out, feeling you clench around his cock, how own orgasm gradually building up, “needed it, yeah? you need me to fuck you good?”

you nod mindlessly at his words, giving him your affirmation through muffled, broken moans, “need you so bad, sae. please.”

“please, what? hm? you wanna cum?”, he asks, reaching for your clit and using two fingers to rub quick pasted circles to help build up your orgasm as he continues his rough pace, bottoming out inside of you, kissing your cervix.

“please?”, you beg as the tears build up around your eyes from the intense pleasure you felt creeping up, dying to be released.

“fuck.”, he groans out, feeling his cock pulsate as he grips onto your shoulder, pushing you down even further into his mattress, “cum for me, baby.”

as soon as you hear sae’s go ahead, you feel the intense release of your own pleasure, your thighs shaking and your toes curling, crying out in the euphoria that soared through your body.

you feel sae lean down against you, his warm chest connecting with your back as he places chaste kisses along your upper back and shoulders before leaning his forehead on you, catching his breath with a smile on his face.

your intimacy with sae was something incomparable with your boyfriend who would just get a towel for you to clean up his mess. it was so much more loving and gentle.

and in these moments you knew that you’d never escape sae itoshi no matter how much you tried. there was no one who will ever know you better than him, no one who will ever give you what sae could give you. he was exactly what you needed and there was no one who knew that more than sae himself.

and he wasn’t about to let your stupid boyfriend get in the way of that. so don’t be too surprised when your boyfriend finds an audio message of you and sae fucking on his phone that sae may or may not have sent him!

navigation. series masterlist

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endearng · 18 hours ago

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Loner to lover

Pairing: young!Spencer Reid x professor!reader Summary: Running away from your problems is said to be irresponsible, but it just might lead you to where you need to be; to whom you must be with and, utterly, to the one you're supposed to be. WC: 10.1k Warnings: jealous spencer (a warning of its own) unspecified age gap; infidelity; smut in the form of soft and vulnerable sex between two virgins - (p in v), creamp*e (sorry), softdom!spencer, dacryphilia if you squint. Let me know if I missed anything. A/N: I had to use the frightening 'L/N'. Sorry sorry sorry. Also I just know Spencer is a little shit when encouraged so... he's a bit insistent here............ anyways I love this do much and I hope you enjoy reading it as well. | Masterlist

Spencer remembers the time when you first met. The reason, happenstance and the enormous range of mixed feelings that it brought him.

Early twenties. Collecting BAs for fun. Dr. Spencer Reid thought of a social life second, third, fourth... whatever position behind his education. His responsibility and intelligence were mere details compared to his application to his studies, which was a trait that made him singular to every single one of the professors whose classes he chose to take. Quick and smart remarks, useful contributions, thought-provoking ideas, you name it; there wasn't a single good student expectation that Spencer couldn't meet. In the academic world, the young man was highly recommended and wanted by any and every superior who wanted a good insight on their research, and that was saying a lot — society's greatest minds would compete for that brilliant brain in hopes to have his attention and participation on their projects. Spencer Reid, to his colleagues, was a walking experiment: that guy was able to keep up with his classes, the research programs he was invited to be a part of (they were jealous of this particular information, because they had to almost literally fight their way into a internship) and, on his free time, he had the nerve to feed his curiosity and come up with even more ideas of his own.

A brilliant, lonely heart amidst a crowded sea of people who were mainly too focused on themselves to notice him, unless it was to compare themselves to the absolute success he was among the academic world.

Given his mild demeanor, it is no surprise that his professors would trust him anything and that he easily won their hearts over — he remembers attending dinners at their places when they were particularly close to him; Spencer was not a stranger to a safe proximity to his mentors, after all, they were his only friends. So, it was with a dreadful surprise that he received the news that his favorite professor and advisor, Dr. Brown, would retire. Immediately, Spencer thought, with a frown on his face, that nobody could replace him. Plus, it would be disencouraging to go to those classes with someone he didn’t even know. The news had dampened his mood, to say the least, and he was ready to protest.

"Don't worry, Reid," said Dr. Brown, kind eyes wrinkling in the corners as he smiled, sitting on his chair behind his huge desk, "Dr. L/N is a great person, in more ways than one. I'm sure you will be thrilled to work with her."

"I'm not sure. It takes me some time to get used to certain situations."

"I know, but I'm sure you've had to adapt to some unexpected events at some point," retorted the older man, psychologist mode in full swing, "This is no different. And, if I must say, not entirely unexpected. There's only so far a man can go without losing his mind.”

"I suppose so," Spencer muttered, feeling a bit selfish — it wasn't fair of him to put his thoughts before the older man's needs.

Dr. Brown looked at his pupil, who avoided eye contact for most of the time. The professor had taken an almost paternal liking to Spencer as they grew closer after the younger man stood behind in the classroom wanting to ask different and plenty of questions about the spectacle he had just watched, his first one. It was rare, for Mr. Brown, to have and hold a student's attention so uniquely, and it was as rare for Spencer to have someone explain things and welcome his curiosity so openly. Science had bonded them together — being men of science, they knew better than to argue with its effects.

"I was thinking, Spencer. If you're not so busy, you could keep leading the experiments in our lab, helping out our new professor." At that, Spencer's expression turned a bit sour, to which Mr. Brown chuckled, "Trust me, you'll have nothing to worry about. In fact, I think you two are greatly alike."

Spencer let nothing out but a hum of agreement, perking up slightly at that remark. He wanted to ask what the older man meant, but stopped himself, asking instead, "When does she get here?"

"I believe she is settling in her studio as we speak. You'll meet her tomorrow. I wish I could introduce the two of you, but, unfortunately, I leave at 3 a.m."

Exchanging goodbyes and wishes of a safe flight, Spencer left for his dorm, where he busied himself with the papers of the guest professor. Of course, he would not betray his ritual of researching the guest professor to know about their academic background, as well as their field of research, stylistics and projects to check if something would raise his spirits. It didn't matter that he wasn't pleased with the replacement.

Dr. L/N. You were, apparently, a great researcher for the Psycholinguistics area—a branch that made you known in fields such as Education, Criminology, Psychology, Linguistics, Communication... The list was endless. If he was honest, he felt a little baffled—and embarrassed—that he hadn't done any research on your contributions thus far. A mind like yours should get a recognition beyond any borders. Once he got a glimpse of your brain and what it could do, he was gone. Your resume was impeccable: you had studied in different institutions in countries, proficiency in multiple languages, uncountable papers and mentions of your name in studies in all the areas above.

He doesn't remember falling asleep or turning off his laptop. However, he remembers that, in dreams, he finds someone, but, strangely, he can't make up a face.

(...)

Walking through a bustling crowd of people always made you winded, the noise and the inevitable bumping too overwhelming for you to handle on top of being somewhere new. So, you preferred to sit and wait in a small, more secluded hall in the building that Dr. Brown said you would find his lab. After the morning rush, the corridors were filled by distant echoes of louder professors or students, which made you calmer; to think you weren't completely alone. Traveling to help out a friend was a much welcomed distraction from what you had left at home, something you weren't quite ready to access just yet. You could remember your shrink's voice as she said that, at times, it was useless to think so ahead of the future.

Unbeknownst to her, you agreed wholeheartedly. It was useless. The moment you could have done something for yourself was already lost, long gone, buried by endless hours of work and occupations to keep you from breaking a dam of lonely despair.

Speaking of the past, you slid your golden ring off your wedding finger, letting it fall inside your coat pocket as you made your way through the halls. Upon seeing a door with Dr. Brown's lab small logo on it, you cracked a small smile, remembering the story behind it: you and a bunch of other students trying to come up with a nice, thoughtful gift to encourage the guest professor's new interests. When you opened the door, you found a tall, thin man sitting by the computer desk, apparently engrossed until he heard the click of the lock, finding your eyes with equal parts startle and wonder, lips parted gently, surprise etched all over his pretty face.

The young man had innocent, almost bambi-like eyes. It was the first thing you had noticed about him. Staring at you, hazel eyes so expressive that you were sure he could speak through his glance alone.

After the initial surprise, you thought you knew who he was, having heard all about Dr. Brown’s new favorite student and mentee. Spencer Reid, who seemed to study for leisure, deeply intelligent and reliable. No wonder he was in the lab, settling everything so that he would be helpful. It was a faithfully vivid image, much like the one that had settled into your brain when your colleague had described who he was working with.

"Dr. L/N."

"Dr. Reid."

Your unison voices mingled in the air. You walked up to where he was, holding out a hand for him to shake. Dazedly, he stood up, taking your hands in his, which made you smile at him, appreciating his politeness. Spencer, on the other hand, felt frozen.

Whatever it was that he, at some point, imagined you would look like, it was nothing compared to the real thing. All your features seemed to be mathematically, precisely calculated to form one of the most beautiful and soft complexions he had ever laid his eyes upon. You spoke again, no longer blocked by his own voice, so gently that it was almost as if he was being physically touched by your voice. Your accent was not strong, but it was perceptible, something that he attributed to your multilingual abilities. "Sorry to barge in like that. It's nice to meet you. Dr. Brown told me a lot about you," you revealed, still smiling.

"It's okay. Nice to meet you too.” Tongue-tied. He felt illiterate, close to a woman who he was not supposed to have certain types of thoughts around. You breathed out a huff of amusement at his widened eyes.

There was a bit of an awkward silence when you both noticed that none of you had let go of the other's hand yet. With a clear of your throat and his fugitive glance, you both composed yourselves, retreating from your touch. "He said," you started with a chuckle, "and I quote, that you are now his eyes, ears, hands and brain in here. So, beforehand, I want to say that I truly appreciate your support and help." You said, politely, to which he smiled nervously with a shaky nod.

"It's no problem, really. Dr. Brown is one of the greatest here and it'd be naive of me to not accept his request."

You grinned, agreeing. "Yeah, he is a great man. Well, I believe you are more familiar with all the devices than I am." You said, motioning to the set-up behind him. "I do have these back at my university, but yours is a bit different from what I can see. I suppose they work the same way, but, to be honest, I don’t want to mess anything up."

Spencer blinked, scientist mode on full swing. "Yeah, yeah." He nodded, looking at her again. "You don't have to worry, I was just checking the last details before starting the experiments. Everything is already settled, but I can talk you through it if you want to conduct the experiment by yourself at some point.” He trailed. Curiously, he added, “If I may ask, what made you interested in this research?"

Your heart's happiness bursted into sparkles in your eyes as you smiled, glad that he asked you about it. You talked him through it, giving him specific details as he sat and listened like you were the most brilliant brain in the entire world. As you talked, he remembers feeling his lips twitching up in a small smile. Once you were done, encouraged by your honesty and heartfelt explanation, he revealed with a faint dust of pink on his cheeks, "I know. I, um, I searched and read some of your papers last night.”

"Really?" You asked, cordial.

"I try my best to get to know my professors' fields before meeting them. It's a way I found to keep my brain entertained and to get ready for what's coming next." He admitted softly, mentally patting himself on the back for not stuttering.

"That is a good approach. I must say I wish I had that kind of mindset when I was your age."

"It’s okay. You've been doing a great job."

Silence. Understanding from both parts.

"But... to answer your question, I have been really interested in working with language lately, more than usual, at least." You chuckled softly. Spencer couldn't stop his own grin at your enthusiasm, eager to hear your voice.

You agreed once he offered to show you how their device worked, sitting on the chair in front of it. Spencer motioned for you to go ahead and place your chin on the small stand. He took notice of your hands when you placed them on the desk, bitten nails and small, red spots on their edges. It concerned him, but he brushed it off, thinking it could have been a simple nervous habit, knowing he had no business asking or worrying about you. You were his professor, after all. "Whenever I lead this experiment with my students, they always tell me they feel like they are at the ophthalmologist."

Spencer chuckled. "Yeah. It does feel like it. You can't even move an inch."

You followed the instructions on the computer screen so that the device would follow your eye movements. It worked quickly, which made you pleasantly surprised and it was hard to hide it from your tone, "This is faster than any other I have tried before."

"Welcome to our university."

As you worked on the experiment, answering to the commands on the scream silently, the device following your orbs, Spencer took his time to study your features. Your hair was neatly up in a ponytail, dainty earrings adorning your ears that matched your gentle features. All your sharpness, if you had any, was in your eyes. An intense gaze that made him falter a bit, as if his brain had the need to stop for a second to store the sight of your gaze on him to remember it for good. Your movements were calm and collected, and, ironically, you looked rather young to be a doctor.

Once you had finished, you didn't pull away immediately from the device. The computer could no longer pinpoint where your eyes were, because then they were directed at Spencer instead glancing at him as if studying him, taking him in to remember his features like a quote that you knew by heart. As he turned to look at you, he started explaining how to save a volunteer's progress and, honestly, you were only half listening, focusing on his mild mannerisms, voice and use of language. You nodded here and there, absentmindedly storing that information. You two departed after exchanging some more information, mostly him guiding you through the campus, talking about each department and what was the fastest and best way to get to the building you were staying at.

Spencer remembers going home with renewed interest. He couldn't help but think about the way you portrayed yourself, the way you talked and moved, almost as if you were an ethereal being that was placed on Earth by an unfortunate mistake. Even though he had been unable to come up with a face for you last night as he read your thoughts, you had been an enchanting surprise. Unable to stop the thought, he gave it some indulgent room: you would, somehow, be a distraction. And he was crazy to get to know in which way.

A couple days went by without Spencer seeing you. You were quite busy yourself with the lectures you were planning and teaching. That morning, though, he had found you teaching Dr. Brown's previous class. It was surprising, and mildly irritating, to see that the class was the most crowded it had ever been. Taking a good look around and listening to a few comments that bothered him to no end, he found out the reason. Some of them wanted to simply see you. The thought was like being bathed in scorching water. He chose to sit in the front, because he thought, petulant, that you would know and remember his face and his face alone. As you entered the classroom and greeted the students with a warm good morning, you were pleasantly surprised to see Dr. Reid in the front row.

After neatly arranging your belongings on the desk, you started your class on the dot. “Hello, everyone. I am professor L/N and I am here to take over Dr. Brown's class.” You started, voice precisely clear. “Now, I understand that some of your colleagues might be running late for some reason. I don't mind if you are late at some point, but try not to make it a habit because it might disrupt our class. I do tend to start my lectures on the dot in respect to those who managed to get here on time. Today, we will talk about…”

You spoke gently, but you had your boundaries set and clear, which made Spencer squirm a bit. Seeing you so sure of yourself, so assertive, made something stir deep within him. Besides, the dumbstruck look of the many students gave him enough clue that he was not the only one feeling a little affected by you and your ways. As you went on and on about the topic, you gestured with your pretty hands, making smart remarks and cracking some light jokes that made everyone a lot less nervous around you. The new, pretty professor.

The topic, behavior, sounded redundant, at that point, because he had studied that subject over and over again, tiringly, exhaustingly, but there was just something about the way you spoke, about your mannerisms that he couldn't look away. You had a way with words, and he was fascinated by how you managed to make some more complex subjects so understandable to students, even if you sometimes drifted deeper into a certain concept, only to go back to them later. He couldn't even speak. The class was relieved while he was troubled.

“Huh, that's odd. Half of you are not in the roll.” You commented, turning the lights back on. “Is this correct?” You muttered to yourself, afraid that maybe you had the data of another class instead.

A girl suddenly spoke up, “Many of us are auditing.”

“Oh?” You wondered. “How many of you?”

Quickly calculating, Spencer bitterly noticed that about 70% percent of the class raised their hands. He wanted to think that it had to do with the fact that these people weren't around for Professor Brown. You smiled, warmly. It was a punch to the gut. “Well, I hope you enjoyed the lecture.

It was when the students slowly exited the class that he was able to reach you, gathering your papers and looking content. Sharply gentle eyes, impeccable posture and pristine clothes found his gaze and he found that he didn't want to look at anything else. He didn't seem to be ready to have that small heart attack every morning. He felt equal parts of embarrassment and a flutter on his belly. He approached you calmly, and as you greeted him, there was a warm look on your face. "Hi. Good morning, Dr. Reid.”

“You did a great job,” he blurted out, voice a bit strained. You only pretended you didn't notice. “Good morning.” He remembered to greet you back. Nice.

Your voice was low as you muttered a soft "thank you."

"Of course." He said, fiddling with the strap of his bag.

"I never asked... What is your field?” You inquired, curiously, grabbing your bag and walking side by side with him, exiting the room.

Spencer had that answer nearly tattooed on his brain. “I have PhDs in Chemistry, Engineering and Mathematics,” he started, nonchalantly, as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I also have a BA in Sociology and Philosophy. This is my third one, Psychology.”

“How old are you?” You blurted out, baffled.

“23. I, uh, I graduated from school at the age of 12.”

You stood there, speechless. Of course you knew that that was possible in some countries, but the casualness in his tone got to you more than his exceptional educational background. “That is… unreal.” You whispered. “You are so young and… and… You are still absorbed with learning.”

He chuckled, shrugging, delighted by your compliment. “Yeah, I guess… Not many people would make the same choices as I would.”

Your entire body froze, including your hidden hand, because his words had hit a particular spot within you. You gave him a nod, agreeing. “Well, it is still impressive.”

“I appreciate it.” He said, looking down and missing the slight dejection on your face. Nevertheless, his heart fluttered at the praise coming from you.

Shaking off the dark thoughts, you started again, “If I may ask, why did you switch from STEM to Humanities?” You asked, now mildly amused as he looked at you, taking the stairs with him to the office. Occasionally, your shoulders brushed.

“Curiosity.”

“Is that all?” You asked, puzzled.

“I was always surrounded with a wide access to books and overall knowledge. My mother was a Literature teacher.” He explained, a small smile gracing his face.

“That must have been nice. You must know a lot about the classics. They are my favorite kind of Literature.”

“They were good distractions, I guess… I wasn't, uh, the most popular kid growing up.” He trailed off.

“Me neither,” you said.

Spencer noticed that you walked with a hand on your pocket, but couldn't say anything about it, too much more focused on the way he seemed to be bathed in a newfound confidence around you. As you reached the office, he quickly placed his belongings on the leather couch by the door. With a low whine of disappointment, which caught your eye, he announced, “If you'll excuse me, I have to get a few books from the library.”

It was better than saying, hey, I was too distracted by you that I forgot that I also have responsibilities.

“Oh, sure. Go ahead. I'll be here.”

“Thanks.”

The door closed with a soft click, and you found yourself all alone again. Taking a look around, you busied yourself by analyzing your surroundings. There was a wall covered by huge, tall, dark shelves, cramped with books. The piece of furniture reached the roof with all sorts of technical literature. A small glass cabinet on the opposite wall showcased trinkets from all over the world, kids drawings and family pictures. A leather couch, cushions and an equally dark wooden desk adorned the room as well. A white light brightened the room, illuminating his titles, and a yellowish one lightened a painting on the wall, made by Dr. Brown's daughter, of the beach they visited frequently. It made you irrationally jealous. The reminder that other people had constant remnants of love was a stab to your chest, and you looked away from the bitter/sweet reminders.

Suddenly, your eyes got a glimpse of Spencer's belongings: technical books, a satchel bag, his coat and a small notebook. You wondered what he would write about in there, whether it was some sort of planner or he just thought out loud on those pages. You fought the urge to touch his stuff, deciding to sit on the couch after shrugging off your coat and laying it close to Spencer's things.

Still plagued by an annoying flicker of envy, you picked your ring, analyzing it with fierce focus between your fingers. The material, white gold, was supposed to adorn your hand for the rest of your life. The only personal thing about it was that it had been custom-made, by demand, just for you. A wedding band was supposed to hold, to be a souvenir of the deepest commitment of love. But as fate would have it, it had been nothing but an object. It held no meaning, since you and your husband easily slid it off when it was convenient.

There was a small date carved on the inside part of the ring. Neither you or Oliver wanted any stronger reminders of each other. To you, he was merely tolerable, and you struggled to feel anything but sorry for him. Despite the fact that you were helplessly coerced into marriage, you despised him for never having the guts of chasing a life, instead busying himself with living the fleeting pleasures that his parents' money provided him, spending his endless vacations overseas, sleeping around. A typical bohemian. A bon-vivant. The fact made you bitter. How does one possess every kind of mean and doesn't care to improve themselves as a person?

Inevitably, you were pulled into a strong stream of memories.

The sun filtered through the curtains, illuminating the dining room that held uncountable and expensive decorations. What caught your eye, though, is a much too long and large table with endless chairs. You remember thinking it was over the top, since neither you or Oliver would plan to have guests over. Swallowing your remarks, you smiled to your father and exchanged a look with your sister-in-law, not bothering to look at Oliver and therefore missing his awestruck look. It was the first time you were visiting the big house with its endless rooms, windows and useless areas. You ignored the subtle meaning of it: you were supposed to carry on your families’ names. The mason had been your parents’ gift, so you decided to stay quiet about it, not commenting on the tacky, outrageous muchness of things. You had learned the hard way not to fight back when it came to their decisions.

From a very young age, you were special. A charming, intelligent, quick-witted child who busied herself with studies and books who had a series of leisure time activities to go through during her free time. Hence, you grew up exceptional. You were always the center of attention somehow; being the first grandkid from both sides of your family granted you a few privileges, you held their entire focus, entertaining them with your particular and curious behavior during their gatherings. Whenever they showed up, your parents would remember some new ability for them to show you off. Playing the piano, chess, languages… You were always in the top of the class, in the best schools, surrounded by kids your age that belonged to the best families.

It was with a deep, heartbreaking sadness that you realized that you had their attention for your potential and everything you could add to their name. Nobody ever played with the first child.

Beautiful, graceful, wistful, clueless little you.

Your family’s connections and endless activities for you had been how you met Oliver in the first place. A smart, easy on the eyes boy who became a smooth talker as he grew older. You were friends from a very young age, but nothing more. You were always too caught up on working on yourself and your abilities in order to charm everyone that romance was something you couldn't even begin to fathom — it was nothing but a strange and distant feeling. You kept things platonic between you and him, spending time, mostly listening. Oliver would tell you all about his interests, and when the age came, he would tell you, rather technically, how his endeavors with other girls went.

You never thought of Oliver as more than a friend. In fact, his manners grew to annoy you, like a small barb in your shoe, if you were totally honest — not that you would dare to. You simply endured his existence, saving your reviles for yourself, because, growing up, you never knew what it was to freely express yourself. How lacking it was to grow up not knowing what it was to speak your mind freely without a strong reprimand of some sort.

Such painful dawnings had only taken place at the age of 20, when your parents and Oliver's had agreed to marry the both of you. Unable to fight back, you simply watched it happen. It was so damaging and traumatic that you could barely remember the times you had spent together, everything was just a big knot of confusing memories to which you felt more like an spectator than an actor. Over the course of the years, Oliver and you would make public appearances, but you had told him, on the first night after your marriage, that he was free to do whatever he wanted, as long as he didn't ruin your image. No. Not the one you had dedicated your entire life building.

Throughout the entire thing, your sister-in-law had been your anchor. A distant one, that sits in the bottom of the sea, as you navigated through your own life. Being too close to you was a sad reminder of your situation and she was aware of that. She had her friends and connections, unknowingly, check on you, though. She was all in for pretending her sad excuse of a brother didn't exist. Theresa and Oliver were polar opposites: a hard-working woman and a sluggish man.

Eventually, as you both moved through the world, engrossed in your true passions, Oliver had truly found someone. Someone you didn't bother learning the name of. Someone, you preferred to think, that didn't know about you and that if she did, she truly didn't care. The feeling was mutual. You, on the other hand, delved deeper into your studies, busying yourself to the fullest. It was nice, in a way, because that way, you were shielding yourself from the world and your inevitable, eternal struggle of a loveless life in the only way you knew how: through being someone.

It was far from a solution, but that's where it ended. It had been years since the last time you heard your name coming from someone else's lips. You didn't dream of it happening anytime soon. You didn't let it happen, anyway. Every advance was cut before it turned into expectations.

A small gasp erupting between your lips broke you out of your reverie when you heard the lock being harshly handled, which made you bolt straight to the door, dropping the ring on the floor. Opening it, you saw Spencer struggling to balance a huge pile of books and a tray with two cups of coffee. He thanked you softly when you offered to help him, your skin touching his briefly, jolts of something unknown coursing through both of your bodies. Pulling away, you placed the books on the desk, searching his eyes as he blushed like crazy.

“I got you coffee… I don't know how you take it, so I got it black with two sugars. There are many options these days, which can make choosing one a challenging decision, since there are undeniable and endless possibilities of you being allergic to some of the ingredients. Of course, there are also chances of cross-contamination. Now that I think about it, I should have probably gotten you tea. Oh, my God. Do you even drink coffee?” He finished, almost panting.

You stifled out a laugh. His ways were endearing. “It's okay, Dr. Reid. I'll drink it. I'm not allergic nor prefer tea over coffee. Okay?”

“Okay.” He said, puppy eyes finding yours again.

“Thank you, by the way. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course.” He said, smiling softly.

It quickly turned into your go-to order.

—

Students came and went, and you made conversation with them, which made you all the more endearing for Spencer. You asked about their day, how they ended up there, and you looked genuinely interested in their answers. It could be a stretch, but Spencer felt that, much like himself, you wanted to make connections — but not the professional kind. You wanted to belong somewhere, from the way your eyes held an intimate and unwavering hint of sadness when you heard their answers, but none of them had the nerve to ask you back. It was expected, though, because no one would think of a professor as a friend. The entire time, you were being addressed as such or as Dr.. You couldn't blame them. That was who you were, too lost in that character to remember who you actually were. If you had been someone, that is.

As Spencer sat behind the computer, ready to access today's tests, you chatted with a freshman student. Glancing at the clock, the girl with excited mannerisms almost shrieked, “Oh, my God! Is it that late already?! I have to go to my piano class.”

“Sorry to hear that,” you said, sounding a bit deflated. “It was nice to meet you, Dana. I'm really happy you've helped us.”

“Anytime, professor! Bye!” She said, walking through the door and closing it behind her.

You turned to Spencer, a hint of longing in your expression. “Are you leaving as well?”

“Not yet. I want to go over our results for the day.”

“Oh!” You exclaimed, approaching him to lean by his side on the desk, supporting your weight on one arm as your other hand touched the back of his chair. He could smell your perfume, something uniquely different, aromatic and so fitting. “Does it compare results automatically?” You asked, turned to look at him.

“Unfortunately, no,” he muttered, unfocused, eyes scanning all over your face, focusing especially on your lips. “I have to do that myself, which is why I'll take longer to leave. If we leave this for the last minute, it'll be much more stressful.”

“Slow and steady it is, then.” You said, grinning. “I'll stay to help you.”

—

Spencer remembers when he started feeling a lot stronger about you.

You were in the office, decorating it as your own. Spencer took notice of your belongings, trying to catch a glimpse of everything that made you yourself. There were abundant novels in many different languages filling the tall shelves, some souvenirs from different parts of the world, your titles… The analytic part of his brain took notice of the lack of family pictures and overall personal items. It was achingly professional and distant, the way you were setting your space. He couldn't help but chime in, “Is that all you're putting up?”

With a lopsided grin, you tried to justify, sensing his intentions. “I don't like cluttering.”

He didn't answer, sensing that it might be sensitive unknown territory. You unboxed a wood chess board, placing it on one of the bottom shelves. He looked at you, a silent question in his eyes. “Just in case someone wants to play,” you said, as you forced a smile that didn't reach your eyes.

The next day, Spencer walked through the office door with a box in hands. He hid it between the sofa and the wall. As you arrived, you talked briefly about the research, which was now coming to an end. Flopping down on the floor, crisscrossed and barefoot, you sighed, smiling as he updated you. “You know, I don't think I've ever been happier.”

“Yeah?” He asked, curiously.

“It almost feels unreal, how kind life's been to me lately.” You revealed, voice trembling a bit with emotion.

“Somehow, that's hard to believe.”

“Is that so?” You asked, playfully. Spencer had to swallow before your mischievous smile. A new expression on your face that he found that he quite liked.

“I mean, look around. You have everything some people think it takes to be happy.”

“You're right. Some people. I don't.” You retorted with a dip of your chin.

“What would make you happy, then?” He inquired, eager to find out. To become it.

You breathed in, closing your eyes. “I'll let you know once I figure it out.”

Should he say it? Would it be indelicate? Insensitive? Too much? Too straightforwa— “You sound a little hopeless.”

“Maybe I am.” You said, almost shrugging. Like it's not a big deal.

“You shouldn't be.” He retorted, sitting down in front of you.

“What makes you so certain?”

“You're young.”

“If anything, that only feeds despair, to some extent.” You said, distantly.

Internal battle at full extent, once again. “You know… I… I have been keeping an eye on you.”

You tilt your head the slightest bit, gaze unwavering. “What do you mean?”

Spencer struggled to form coherent thoughts, to articulate his own ideas before blurting them out rather excitedly. “You seem so… different. It's almost like you're out of this world. It's fascinating, actually. You're very deep in your own little world. Even the way you speak tells something about loneliness. So well, eloquently—”

“Susan Sontag.”

He smiled, satisfied. “See? How would you remember a quote by heart if your mind was filled with some things else?”

Against your will, you agreed. “You're right, Dr. Reid.”

Silence. He stood up, walking to grab the box behind the couch. He came back and sat in front of you once again, but this time, his knee brushed yours and neither of you mentioned it. You welcomed the warmth. Spencer hid the one coloring his cheeks. “Call me Spencer.”

“What is that?”

“Flowers.”

“Flowers?”

“You need some life around here.”

You giggled, absolutely delighted when you saw the box, containing an orchid Lego set. Spencer fought against his every instinct to just pull you into his arms at the sound that twisted his insides instantaneously. It was the first time he had heard you laugh, a rich, funny sound that seemed to have erupted from your own soul. “Is this for me? Because, you know, this might be the best thing I've ever gotten.”

“Oh, really?” He asks, feigning sarcasm. “I could've sworn it was the original piece on your wall.”

“Thank you, Spencer.”

“You're welcome.”

Despite your position, your posture was as elegant as it had ever been. He placed the pieces between the two of you. Eventually and almost silently, like a personal prayer, he learned how to call you by your name upon your insistence. With a soft look in his eye, he relented. Everything about him seemed to tell you that he was there to help you build the set. That it was alright, because he was there.

You two stood up, one at a time, once you had finished the set. Standing by the window, you glanced at the pretty plastic orchids that now were placed on your desk, right next to your name, a funny little piece amidst such a formal environment. He followed you after a brief moment of doubt. “You know, Spencer,” you uttered and he thought he might be addicted to the chain of sounds that makes up his name falling from your lips as he watched them, mesmerized. “Thank you so much for this. It's a nice feeling. Like I have a friend.”

You both shared the intimacy of a glance with each other. You decided to elaborate, too shaken by the thought of your loneliness being palpable. “You're right… I've always been a bit on the lonely side.”

He was pleased to see so much honesty from your end, and happy to see something of himself in you. He swallowed, trying to control these thoughts and keeping his composure. “I think you're very easy to get along with.”

“That's the first time I hear that.”

Spencer couldn't help the wince that came with the stabbing pain he felt at your revelation. “It's true. I…” Who are these people? “I think you're very easy to like.”

You thanked him again, quietly, lowering your gaze to the space between the two of you. Seemingly under a spell that had been casted by the way you let your guard down, ignoring the nervous pit on his stomach and not taking the time to process the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings running through him. You stood so close, if he could just— “Looking from up here, all people look so tiny.”

“Considering the extent of the universe, we are pretty tiny.”

You snorted, shaking your head softly. “Proportion changes perspective, huh, Spencer?”

Losing control over his words, utterly lost, he continued, “I also… I find you pretty… pretty.”

Your eyes glanced up to meet his. Spencer tried to read your expression, desperate to see if you were surprised, disgusted, uncomfortable or if you welcomed his words. Instead, he found a hint of longing in your eyes that he couldn't begin to understand. “I… I don't know what to say.”

Compliments were a sensitive, unknown territory for you. You only knew what these were if you outdone yourself in whatever earned you attention. Sighing, you looked at him, almost guilty.

“Sorry, I… I shouldn't have said anything.” He cringes, avoiding your gaze.

“It… It wasn't.” Deep breath. “It's just that… you're…”

Were there words in the English language for these feelings?

“I know. I didn't… I don't expect you to say anything in return,” he says, almost dejectedly. The truth is out and he can't take it back. “I just wanted to come clean. And I think that it's not just looks that draw me to you.”

You stood there, speechless.

“You're not mad? Or… or offended?” He tries.

You looked at his widened, scared eyes. It made you want to soothe him — the instinct disconnecting your mouth from any sense of ethics or decency that ran through your brain. Taking another deep breath, scared to death, “I’m actually flattered. You're a very beautiful person, inside and out, but… but… I'm your professor, Spencer, and older than you.” You said, voice wavering slightly as you got to look into his eyes again.

“Somehow… when I think about you… neither of these seem to be a problem. I can't—not think about you.”

His words crafted a small crack. There would forever be a memory in your brain of the exact same moment when his words settled in. You fell to pieces, and as you did, you felt yourself losing control of your own actions, of your sense of ethics or principles. Before you thought it through, as you felt every sense of reason leaving your body, you tilted your head up, a silent, welcoming consent of his lessening distance. Spencer, who looked almost pained with so much want, let out tiny puffs of breath as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He couldn't believe you were seemingly taking a risk like that, but he found that he couldn’t and didn't want to hold back any longer. The young man, very carefully, cradled your cheeks, bravely holding your glance as he caressed the soft skin of your cheek with his thumb. Time stood still when you closed your eyes, slowly, and he tilted your chin up the slightest bit, angling you just the way he needed. The touch, the existence of you was so intense and overwhelming that it made him shiver, and he was failing to keep his hands from shaking. Following the stream of whispered truths, you added, “I want to give you something to truly think about. I need your permission.”

Softly, Spencer brushed his lips against yours as he closed his eyes. It was gentle, tentative, almost experimental. The touch, albeit subtle, calmed his every nerve, and his shoulders relaxed at the contact. A shaky exhale left his lips when you pulled him in, placing your hand on the nape of his neck, the feeling grounding and safe. When your lips interlock together, it's a moment of realization; he doesn't think that he wanted something so badly without even knowing what it actually was.

Your touch is tender, as if you were both afraid that harshness would steal one from the other, relishing in the moment and in the rush of sensations that were unknown to the both of you. Spencer was so afraid that you were going to pull away and run, but he just couldn't control himself as he slid his tongue into your mouth, basking in the small satisfied sound that you made, his hands gripping your waist. You, on the other hand, felt as if you had been pushed into a sea of hot, scalding water. No touch had ever made you feel like that, and your desperation had you now tightly gripping at his vest, trying to get him impossibly closer to you. Your bodies pressed against each other set a trail of fire between the two of you, and the kiss gradually became more urgent. Violent, even.

When you pull back, he doesn't let you go far, his face only inches away, barely registering that you actually needed to breathe so great was his need to feel you against him once more. Panting, you leaned your forehead against his, not ready to open your eyes and see his face. You'd be lost.

“At least now I have something proper to think about.”

Flustered at him using your own words against you, you couldn't meet his gaze. You tried to say something, but all the courage pumping through your veins seemed to have found a way out of your system, leaving you helpless, utterly defeated into silence. A small feeling of guilt started to grow inside you, and you were warring against it. You had just kissed a student in your workplace when you were trying to have a fresh start. Spencer, noticing your turmoil, was quick to engulf you in a hug. The action, so simple, worked like a balm to your nerves, and you allowed yourself to take a deep breath, inhaling his scent, which had just become your favorite. You didn't want to let him go, neither did you know if you would ever be able to.

Resting his chin on your shoulder, he cradles the back of your head. Under the sofa, lies a small, shiny object that was long forgotten due to both its irrelevance in your life and the first moment of genuine affection you've ever experienced.

—

You remember how it felt like to lose control of yourself.

It had been days since the secret kiss you shared with Spencer and it had been the last time you saw him. Your days were filled with endless phone calls with lawyers and Theresa, desperate to find yourself free from your doom excuse of a… marriage? It seemed offensive to even relate that word to whatever you had been forced upon doing. Your nights were spent by your bedroom window, watching as people came and went, noticing with heartbreak how distant you seemed to be from everyone. You were a stranger in many ways, but above all, you were a stranger to yourself. Every little manifestation of action or thought made you inevitably remember all the people and their behavior that shaped you into whatever you are today.

And then there was Spencer. Spencer, whose touch was making you feel constantly equal parts guilty and entranced. Spencer, who was spamming your email inbox, wondering where you were. Spencer, who was the only person you truly allowed yourself to think about. The sight of him haunted your nights and the ghost of his voice echoed inside your head when you were sitting around in the empty studio. It was supposed to be refreshing, really, how his mere existence made a new flicker of hope bloom in your chest that had been unknown thus far. It was bold to call it hope, but you preferred to do that because there was no other word, no other feeling that you knew well enough to associate it with the memory of him.

You had forgotten the sound of your voice. The only thing your apartment walls heard in the time span of three days and three nights had been the following string of words:

“Theresa, are you there? Can we talk?”

—

Spencer remembers how it felt to miss you like a lost puzzle piece.

It had been days and your silence was upsetting him like nothing ever had. Sick of replaying that moment over and over, he decided to find you instead. It was late at night as he walked your street after pondering whether he should or not confront you about your silence. There wasn't much to discuss. It was just a kiss — secretly, he was scared that you would argue so —, but the lack of news from you had him feeling on edge. A tall building, endless windows. On the fifth floor, he could make a figure staring out into the city, and he couldn't begin to explain where the strength came from to run up to where you were. There was only one apartment per floor, so he knocked impatiently on your door.

501.

Upon hearing the sound, you stared, a bit scared, at the door. Opening a small slit, you saw him and your entire body froze. You closed it immediately, fear etched into your features as if he was an impending threat. As if he could cause you any harm.

“Please,” he cried, resting his forehead on the door. He tried not to compare the stiffness of the object to the softness of your skin. A clear of his throat. “Please. Nobody's seen you for days. I… I haven't seen you in days.”

There was a minute of mortifying silence, but he decided to wait. What was another moment if he had waited for you for so long? Spencer let out another plea, this time, calling you by your name.

You let him in, but you couldn't meet his gaze. Nevertheless, he noticed your bloodshot eyes. Speaking your name softly, he inquired, worryingly, approaching you. “What happened to you?”

You took a small step back, straightening your posture once you realized how close he was getting to you. The action made your heart shatter. “Don't,” you pleaded, soft-spoken as ever.

“Look at me.” He croaked, pleadingly, timorous.

Reluctantly, you met his eyes. They were confused, questioning, and it was a first on his expression. You felt guilty for doing this to him. “I can't do this to you, Spencer. I can't.”

“Please… Talk to me. Don't shut me out.”

“We can't do this. I'm your professor, and, and…”

“Are you seriously pulling the professor card? I'm not one of those undergraduate students. I'm me. It's me. We've been so close and when I think something finally might happen, you disappeared. It wasn't fair.”

Each of his words were stabs in your already hanging by a thread heart. Rip the band-aid.

“I'm married.”

There was a moment of stunned silence from his end. You knew how cruel it was to use your formal marital state to avoid him from coming any closer, but you tried not to dwell on it. This was it. Spencer deserved better. And for the first time in your life, you couldn't be better. His silence made your stomach churn painfully, aware of the ache you were causing him, and desperate to be the one to soothe the damage you had done.

Spencer, on the other hand, stared at you blankly. Almost skeptically, even. You'd have analyzed it better if you weren't too busy with your own turmoil about him. “I don't see him anywhere,” he finally said, defiantly.

Surprise took over your features, and before you could form another painful remark, Spencer approached you decisively. “Where is him, huh?”

Cutting you off as you opened your mouth to speak, once again, he scowled. “Damn him. I would do anything just to have you around.”

The crack was now big enough that he could see all parts of you from where he stood. Right then, though, the glimpse he caught before you violently smashed your lips against his was enough to haunt him for a lifetime. Your gaze, so utterly tired yet determined, looking at him as if he was the only thing in your entire world — perhaps he was. The kiss was demanding, fueled by sheer animalistic hunger. You had been hungry your entire life, deprived of the simplest pleasures and there he was, ignoring all your lackness. You failed to think of a motive for his actions, but you decided that you utterly didn't care. To feel seen like that was enough of a reason for you.

His tongue pushed into your mouth, exploring every inch with a neediness that surprises even him. You gripped at his shirt's collar as his hands tangled in your hair, tightly, almost afraid you'd disappear. Neither of you recognized your own actions, everything was far too new for you to know how to act properly, losing yourself in each other, consumed by the unique, addicting taste of your kisses and the heat building between you. The sizzling, almost bothersome feeling in your core, combined with the intensity of his kiss left you feeling lightheaded. He pulls away, reluctantly, squeezing his eyes shut, as if refraining from doing something. You rest your forehead against his. Uneven breaths mingle together as you had your eyes on him, waiting for the final blow, when he would look back at you. “Let me in,” he croaked. “I wanna be yours.”

Don't.

“You deserve so much more than this. Than what I'm able to offer you,” you whisper in a ragged breath, closing your eyes, hands now softly holding his head.

“I'll take anything you are.”

You winced, a helpless crease finding its way between your brows. “You don't get it, do you? I can't. I can't do this to you. I don't know how to do this.”

He softened, hands never leaving your skin and eyes never leaving yours. “You don't have to know anything. I don't know it either. I just wanna be yours tonight.”

Silence.

“Is it because of him?”

You promptly retorted. “No. It's not because of him.”

“From now on, it's me.”

Spencer crashed his lips to yours, barely giving you time to let his words sink in. Seemingly trying to convey his emotions, his willingness to beg for you to let him in, his devotion to be yours in that moment. Brushing your fear of not getting him to stay, you gave in, too blinded by the sheer strength of the burning within you. Spencer kissed you deeper as you slid your tongue inside his mouth, ravishing and relishing in the taste of him. A small moan broke through you when he gripped your tighter, leading you to the nearest surface — conveniently, the bed. Spencer barely had time to take in his surroundings when he got there, too busy with you and the strong pull between the two of you, but his body unconsciously and seemingly knew exactly where to take yours.

You had now entered a land reserved for only the two of you. You looked at him, softly placing you on the bed, kissing all over you, as if you were something worth looking at, worth worshipping. The tears streamed down your face freely, and he kissed each of them as they bloomed again. “Let it all out. I'm here.”

Intertwining your fingers on the nape of his neck, adjusting so that he was between your legs, you looked at him intently while he lowered the straps of your cami top, eyes never leaving yours, lips caressing your collarbone gently. The action made you shiver, and you were under his trance, taking whatever he wanted to give you, signaling over and over that you allowed him to be yours, just like he asked to be. In hindsight, he was making you his.

Gingerly, you leaned up to reach his jawline, kissing and nipping at the soft skin, trying to find an outlet for all the overwhelming feelings and fire inside you. He moaned softly, basking in the feeling of being marked so gently, already satisfied with the mere thought that he would have something of yours to remember. It was when you were undoing his shirt, not so accidentally brushing your fingertips against his fiery skin that a wave of pleasure, embedded with a persistent feeling of guilt, crawled its way into your thoughts. You were like a helpless being caught between the fight of two violent ends, and you found that you loved it. You loved being at their mercy. You loved being at his mercy.

Quickly getting rid of your top, Spencer leaned even lower, brushing his skin against yours, which elicited a series of goosebumps to erupt on your skin. You clenched your hands after retreating them from his body, desperately trying to find something that could ground you instead of feeling everything all at once. He was overwhelming, and he had barely touched you. “I never knew I could feel like this,” you breathed out, unable to keep the truth from him any further when he skimmed his fingertips against your ribs, touching with the most desperate of delicacies.

Grinding against you, he whispered, rushed, “Do you feel how much I want you? I see you and I want you. Let me in.”

Spencer's words, albeit simple, were hitting many unreached places within you. Without breaking eye contact and a bit clumsily, you two got rid of the remnants of your clothes, baring yourselves to each other in more ways than one. Spencer, still accommodated between your legs, eased himself so easily into you, making you hold on tightly to his arms, you two both letting out strangled noises at the feeling. You, beneath him, around him, enveloping his length in the most pleasant wet warmth, sucking him in, gripping, squeezing, never letting him go. A broken sob erupted as he mumbled, “I missed you so much.”

You could barely find your voice, too lost in the sense of him on top of you. The taste, the sight, the smell of him inebriated you like no drug ever could. “Ah—I missed you too,” you whimpered. “You… have no idea.”

“Show me, then.”

Desperately, you pulled him in for another searing kiss, trying to convey how much his absence had made you feel, how guilty you felt by putting what it felt then like an unnecessary distance between the two of you. Trying to get closer, impossibly closer than you ever had been before. The sensations were shattering, and you found that you didn't want to be put together again. No, you were gladly ruined for the rest of your life. Scratches down his back, bites on his lower lip and an endless stream of whimpers left your lips complemented the exhilarating experience as he watched how you reacted to him.

Lowering your gaze to where your bodies met, you were met with an exquisite sight, how he pulled away just to shove his cock back inside you making you dizzy as he had his way with you. Following your line of sight, Spencer moaned as he saw the mess between you two, how his skin began to stick to yours as your arousal glimmered on his skin. Fully sheathed again, you cried out, “There's—mmmm—so much of you in me.”

“Will you remember me?” He asked, resuming his thrusts, violently shaken by your words. He wanted to give you all of him.

Struggling to speak, your entire body trembling with the force of his strokes, you stuttered, “I could never forget you.”

His hips halt their movements. He asks, pointedly, with a stark gaze that burned its memory into your very soul, "Say you'll remember," he whimpered with a small sigh. It was difficult to tell if it was from neediness, impatience, frustration or anything else.

It was not the time for semantics, but you smiled despite yourself as the tears started to to steadily roll down your cheeks, and you replied with a shaky breath, "I'll remember you forever."

Spencer pushed in again, swallowing the strangled moan that left your lips as he kissed you intensely and your tears kissed his cheek as well. Your bodies embraced one another, as if they needed each other to exist. The moon and the sea. You tried to hold on to him, hands curling against the skin of his back and legs circling around his waist. Spencer, on the other hand, had a desperate hold on your waist, which would probably lead to faint marks of his fingers. You found that you didn't care, the astounding feeling of him against you, so forcefully and simultaneously lovingly, could use all the memories to tell you later it had been real. That you had been yours as much as you had been his that night.

The pleasure building within you was new, almost scary given its force to shake everything inside. Spencer was equally reeling, trying to prolong the moment as much as he could, too caught up on the existence of you to let it go anytime soon. With a mewl of his name, you let go, pleasure coursing through your veins and spreading through your body like being bathed by the sultriness of your moment together. The fever reached your heart, and with tearful eyes, you watched him as he released inside of you, eyes dazedly searching yours and his lips singing your name like a prayer.

On top of you, in that place of sheer veneration, your bodies tangled together like an abstract painting. Neither you or him made mention to move, too content in the feeling of sticking to the other.

"I'm not leaving,” he muttered after a while, nuzzling your neck.

"Spencer..."

"I'm not leaving. You'll wake up in the morning and I'll be here.”

—

Tonight, you aren't watching strangers from the windows of your office nor from the ones in your studio apartment. Instead, you are walking home with Spencer, hand holding hand, a firm, fierce, steady grip that never faltered.

You now exist, hearing your name being called several times a day. And so does he, the one proudly uttering said name, whenever he gets the chance. A small, simple reminder that you belong together.

dividers by @cafekitsune <3

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