#but if they're over a certain word count or i've worked on the damn thing for too long

[killerandhealerqueen]

Need to constantly remind myself that this is just the first draft. That we literally need to finish writing it before we rewrite it to make it read/flow how we want it to

[mazeinthemiroh]

the worthy type.

yunho x best friend! reader

genre: fluff, hurt / comfort, romance, best friends to lovers

word count: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, reader has insecurities

synopsis: best friends didn't look at each other the way yunho looked at you. but you found it hard to believe that he could ever be interest in you. but oh how wrong you are...

author's notes: so i know it's been a hot minute since i've posted, well, anything. but hopefully this fic will redeem that fact? let me know your thoughts and ummmmmmm yeah! enjoy my sweetums <3333

There's a lot to be said about the way Yunho looked at you.

It was always with interest. With intent. There was some sort of motive behind his gaze and, when you looked back, you would try and figure out what his thoughts were. But, you were only faced with the tingling feeling in your cheeks as they heated up at the sight of his adoring grin.

You both had been friends for a while. More than friends, really. Close friends. Closer than most, and people found that odd. Lots assumed you were dating, and you would be lying if you said you never thought: "Yeah, why the fuck are we not dating?"

But alas, you continued in your closeness with him, grinning at each other from across the room, whispering jokes in inappropriate circumstances, cackling at each other's witty remarks so that strangers who passed by would mutter 'They're so damn loud.' Stuff like that, and you felt yourself falling.

But there was something holding you back.

"Want some ice cream?" San held out a delicious tub of Ben and Jerry's that he was more than ready to dig into.

"Nah, I'm good thanks," you turned it down, staring at your phone in a bit of a daze.

It wasn't unusual for you to hang around the dorms of the Ateez members. You were all friends there, and they liked to spend time with you when they got the chance.

"So," San scooped a bit of ice cream up into his spoon, elegantly swirling it around as if it were art, "you and Yunho..."

You felt yourself roll your eyes.

"'Me and Yunho' what?"

San shrugged, a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips.

"I don't know... when are you gonna get with him?"

You blinked at him and sighed loudly, "I don't know what you're on about."

San didn't look amused, now digging into more of the ice cream. He remained silent, which unnerved you.

"Don't you think that if," you hesitated, before continuing, "if something was going on between me and him, something would've happened by now? Like... we would be together already? That's how I see it."

"That's not how I see it," San replied, not bothering to look up from the ice cream tub this time.

"The way I see it," he started, "is that you both have been friends for a long time and neither of you want to cross that boundary of 'something more.'"

There was a dull feeling of insecurity that slowly bubbled up inside of you. You tried to gulp that feeling down with water, but it remained there.

"He doesn't find me attractive, San," you said plainly. "That's it. I'm not his type, and that's that."

You shrugged, but ended up turning your head away to avoid San's gaze, in case he saw any tears that started forming in your eyes.

"You shitting me right now, Y/N?" San stabbed his spoon in his ice cream, and made his way over to you, plopping himself down next to you on the sofa so he could look at you better.

You looked down, suddenly filled with self-loathing. You were never made to feel special. Never made to feel worthy of attention or love. People have told you all your life you didn't look good enough, and at a certain point, that type of thing starts to play with your mind.

"There's no way in hell I'm his type, San."

"Listen-"

"No, you listen to me! Look at the people you work with, San. The people in the industry, the idols who look so perfect. They have the perfect, ideal bodies, faces, skin, proportions. Everything." You sounded exasperated; emotionally exhausted. It sounded like you wanted to get all this off your chest. San listened to every word, of course.

"So why, out of all these perfect people, would he choose me?"

San frowned, his eyes narrowing and his head shaking. He listened to you vent, but he wasn't happy. His tone remained soft but firm:

"Ask him."

You licked your lips. "What? No way."

"Ask him what his type is, Y/N. Ask him."

You remained silent as he made his way off the sofa, stretching slightly as he did so.

"You think you know what he likes? You think he's not attracted to you? Ask him."

And with those words, he was gone, leaving you to dwell over the whole conversation, arms crossing over your chest.

Your lunch breaks consisted of travelling all across tone just to meet up with Yunho. It was once every week, to be fair. But it was a commitment you were willing to stick to, despite the slight inconvenience in travel. It wasn't inconvenient if it meant you got to spend time with him.

You scolded yourself for thinking in such a hopelessly romantic way, but it was true. Romance or not, he made your week. One hour of coffee or walking around the river or random street food lunches to share with each other. Whatever happened, it was always fun and memorable, because it was with him.

You both sat on a bench overlooking the river. It was a chilly autumnal day, and your fingerless-gloved hands grasped the warm cup of coffee tightly. Yunho's legs were outstretched and folded; this way, you could admire their impressive length of them without seeming like a complete weirdo.

"It was funny," you racked your brain trying to search for ways to sneak the ultimate question casually into a conversation with your best friend, "me and San were talking about what kind of people we like. I mean... everyone has a type, right? It was funny hearing what San was saying about that..."

He kept quiet, a small smile on his lips as he listened to you, gazing down at his coffee.

"But umm... well, what would you say your type is?"

Yunho half snorted, half chuckled at your question, clearly amused at your curiosity about such a thing.

"Why would you wanna know?" He teased, nudging you playfully as you laughed your nerves away.

Once he stopped laughing, he hummed thoughtfully, looking up across the river as if pondering a very serious matter.

And, after long last, his answer was made clear:

"I don't have a type"

You wanted to punch him. "God, after all that?"

Yunho exhaled another laugh, but this time looked more serious.

"Well, having a 'type' sounds so limiting. Because it's usually about external factors, and, well, external factors change, right?" Yunho turns to you, and you nod your head slowly, trying to understand where he is coming from.

"For example, if someone's 'type' is someone with brown hair or long nails, those things change! They could dye their hair and cut their nails." Yunho took a sip from his coffee, "so all of that is silly. No one will ever be satisfied if they think in such a limited way."

He leaned back and yawned slightly, before peering over at your thoughtful face.

"Did I satisfy you with my answer?" Yunho smiled and shrugged.

"I guess I wasn't expecting that to be honest," you confessed.

Then silence took over, and while your eyes were fixated on the cup in your hands, his eyes were solely on you. And his smile never once wavered.

After a long time to think, he sat up a bit more, fixing his posture and turning more to look at you.

"You know what" his voice sounded softly next to you, "I was lying."

That piqued your interest, and you found yourself turning around to face him, an enquiring expression written on your features.

"I do have a type," Yunho nodded, his eyes twinkling slightly as if he had made some sort of revelation.

"What, then?" You half whispered. He liked to leave you dangling by a thread.

"My type is you," he poked your nose, shuffling closer and stretching his arm to wrap around your shoulder. You laughed in protest but you could see in his eyes that he was serious.

"If that is the case," you asked slowly, "why couldn't you have told me this in the first place?"

"Now that wouldn't be any fun would it?" Yunho chimed, and you almost pushed him off the bench, but luckily he's strong enough to defend himself!

"It's hard confessing something like that to someone you care about the most, you know?" He muttered, and you realised that he had been rather vulnerable with you, more so than you've seen before.

"Well it's a good thing I'm dangerously in love with you then," you murmured back, causing you both to look at each other and, before you knew it, Yunho leaned in to press his lips into yours. It was a sweet kiss, one that felt as though it should've happened a long time ago. One full of gentle longing, and a shy eagerness for more kisses to come.

You both pulled away and breathed out a laugh together. Yunho's cheeks were particularly rosy by this point, and he felt he couldn't stop smiling even if he tried.

"What about all the perfect people you work with?" You pressed on further, "The gorgeous idols who are everything everyone wants to be."

"If everyone looked and behaved the same, it would be boring" Yunho shrugged, "and you know how much I hate things that a boring."

And he leaned in to give you a peck on the nose.

"Besides," Yunho held you closer, "I know you better than anyone. I wouldn't trade our connection with anything or anyone, because it's real and it's ours."

Tears pricked at your eyes as you looked at him, the wind moving around both of your bodies as a force, nature's way of pressing you together, closer still.

Your lips found each other's again, this time more desperate, full of passion, full of a wanting to last forever. Your hands found his as you laced your fingers in between his long ones.

Your connection had never made you more secure in yourself. You could really get used to the feeling of Yunho by your side, like this, in a way that made you realise that you are enough.

You are worthy. And you've found your special person.

ateez taglist: @a-wandering-stay, @xlovehwa, @yeosangsbiceps, @anyamaris, @acciocriativity, @hawaiian-angel, @toolovelyforyou (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[vnamps]

THE GRADE AID. 001

next. |

overall summary: lee min-ho, your absolute academic rival, an absolute menace needs help to raise his grade before the semester ends, and who better to ask for help than you, the grade aid.

overall contents: minho is cocky, a bunch of teasing, angst, fights, mentions of injuries, good ending, lowercase

word count: 0.98k

lee minho, the school's most popular male, the son of a wealthy businessman, and your absolute rival in school. he was an absolute menace, someone who'd egg you on if you'd ever get even 1% less than him on tests, someone who didn't even have to make attempts to get a good grade, he was naturally smart and even if he wasn't, his father could still silver spoon him into good schools.

this same minho now sat at the table inside the chemistry lab, looking at his paper in pure horror. A big circular number on his paper read beside the percentage sign. and as if that hadn't been scary enough, the message below was even worse.

"I am disappointed in your efforts, mr. lee"

the words were intensely scary it was almost as if he could hear your voice saying it for some reason.

"zero? damn, that's harsh." he turned out to meet your face, peering over his shoulder with a grinning expression.

you made your way to a seat next to him, sighing loudly, reminiscent of all the times he did the same to you in a test.

"oh yeah? what'd you get?" he leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest.

a smile appeared on your face as you slid your paper over to him, his eyes widening slightly but his overall expression the same.

one-hundred and twenty percent??

"I know you may be wondering, how does such a strong, intelligent, empathetic being get such a high score, minus the extra credit."

"I'm not wondering, I don't care." he was salty, you took note of that. you laughed a little to yourself as you felt victorious for once in your whole rivalry.

the whole rivalry started 3 years ago when you all got the exam results posted on a bulletin outside. whilst everyone raved on about how smart you were, minho felt jealous and decided he wanted to be smart as well

after that, minho would feel such high validation and get praise for being able to beat you in certain subjects, becoming the first topic when it comes to student intelligence.

It annoyed you. why would someone like him wanna take the one good thing you had? he had luxury, he had potential love interests, and he had a life made up for him. so why was it that he constantly felt the need to take away your progress?

it was a question both you and he constantly asked yourselves. one even jisung asked himself as minho ranted to him.

"they laughed in my face, jisung." minho emphasized as he rubbed his temples, sighing in disbelief.

jisung was scrolling through his phone, showing halfhearted sympathy as he lifted his head to look at minho. "well they're only giving you the same thing you give them." jisung reasoned which caused minho to sigh again.

as days passed, minho constantly saw a downgrade in his chemistry work, more messages filled with the word "disappointed". this went on for about 2 weeks before the teacher pulled him aside at the end of class.

"mr. lee" she starts off, peering up at him through her glasses before sighing and shaking her head.

he already knows what's to come as he approaches her desk, a worried look on his face.

"lately, I've been seeing some uh.. flaws in your work for the past few weeks and I've been a bit concerned." she brings out a slip of paper, handing it to him.

"this is a mini graph of your grades and how they can affect you going into college if you don't fix them.''

minho sighs, looking down for a second before lifting his head back up. "Is there any way I can fix them before the semester ends?"

her face lights up in a suggestive smile and minho feels the weights of his shoulders lift a little with hope.

"I like that you're not willing to give up, I'm proud of you," she states before bringing out folders filled with student applications.

"I have a few students who are doing exceptionally well in my classes and may be willing to help you." she opens the first folder, your picture is there as well as your tutor information. she lets out a small aha before showing minho.

"y/n l/n, they excel the most in my classes, I assume you'd know them?" minho's eyes widen once he sees the picture, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he looks away, muttering a small "yes''

"great! I'll get them to tutor you, starting tomorrow, the more time, the merrier"

as the day went on minho dreaded the fact you had to tutor him. he wished it was someone who liked him more, someone who'd guarantee his good grades.

the next day went by scarily fast as now he sat in the library, watching your figure make your way over to the table, an annoyed look on your face.

"do you intend on bothering me, lee?" your face was stern as you stared at him with widened eyes.

he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I didn't have a choice, I wouldn't have chosen you if I did."

you let out a harsh airy breath, setting your books on the table. "as if you couldn't have gotten a personal tutor instead of wasting my time. oh wait, I forgot you need daddy's money to afford that and of course, you wouldn't want daddy to think his little son wasn't perfect."

minho rolled his eyes once more. "right. if you're gonna keep talking instead of helping me, I'd be very happy to tell her that her perfect little ace isn't as generous as she believed" his head was tilted to the side, his eyes bleeding into you as he spoke.

you sighed in return, sitting down before opening the books, starting your first lesson.

[duhragonball]

November Plannin'

All right, I've been thinking it over, and I think I'm gonna have to pull the plug on my NaNoWriMo account. The AI thing irks me, because to me the organization seems to think that it doesn't matter if you use Chat GPT or some other damn thing to reach the goal. And I do think it matters, because to me the whole point of the exercise is that those 50,000 words come from me, and me alone. The only software I need is Notepad.exe. I only downloaded iA Writer because it was like a Notepad.exe for my phone, and I got FocusWriter because it's like Notepad.exe with a wordcounter.

I've heard about the Nano community, and the writing groups, and the public meet-ups, and I'm not knocking any of that stuff, but I never had any interest in that. I just used the website to keep score, and I guess that's what bugs me, because by refusing to condemn AI, they're basically insinuating that the score doesn't matter. "It doesn't matter what you wrote." Someone told me that once and it still gets me kinda hot.

NaNoWriMo doesn't care if I write the words or not. All the org seems to care about is having participants who'll buy the merch and click on their sponsors, or whatever. They're gonna do this shady crap and they take the participants for granted. "What are you gonna do? Leave? You need us to reach your writing goals!"

That's the message I get from them. That's what made me reluctant to decide, because it is handy, and there's a certain anxiety that if I give up the structure the site offers, I might not reach my goal.

And that's the "creative monster" I need to slay this year. When I was in college, I took a semester of creative writing, and there was an assignment called "Killing the Creative Monster", and I interpreted it as a sense of not having enough time to write. Things kept happening, and the stuff I wanted to do seemed like it would take too long with no certainty that it would be worthwhile. That was in 1998. In 2024, the Creative Monster is the idea that I'm dependent on NanoWriMo to get me where I'm want to be.

So I'm gonna close down my account on the site. But I'm not doing it right away, because first I'm gonna save all the stats and stuff that belong to me. We'll start with the banner image I put up on my profile.

This is Zack Sabre Junior. This year, he won the G1 Climax tournament. He made a big deal about how his career wouldn't be complete until he won the G1. Not just any G1, but this year's tournament. I just put this picture in my profile because I was digging his tag team stuff with Taichi a few years ago, but suddenly I'm reminded of him winning the G1 this year. It was a big deal. He's the first guy to win that I actually wanted to win.

I've won NanoWriMo seven times from 2017 to 2023. But that doesn't matter. Unless I win Unaffiliated Autumnal Writing Challenge (UAWC) in 2024, I'll always feel a bit unsatisfied. That's what this one is about. No pep talks from some author I never heard of because I'm too busy watching anime to read. No funky word-count widget that always malfunctions around midnight. Just me and this computer, and a bunch of tekkers. That's how we're gonna do this one.

Good. I finally feel fired up about this one. I was beginning to get nervous. Let's figure out what I need to work on.

Luffa Annual 6. Ironically, this one actually takes priority over the main fic, becuase it's the Christmas Special, so it has a hard deadline. I was gonna work on it last week, but I kind of blew it off.

I don't know that the annuals are all that popular, but I enjoy making them, even if they are a huge pain in the butt to figure out. I'm glad this is the last one in the set, but I won't just slap it together and call it good.

Tellurium. This is a weird side-bet I'm making here. On my main blog, I used to do a series on the discovery of the chemical elements, and this was the next one on my list back in, uh... 2016. The tricky thing here is that the writing is just part of the job. There's research that goes into this stuff, and I don't want to get lose a days' worth of wordcount trying to wrap my head around molecular orbitals. Call me a glutton for punishment. It'd be relatively easy to just do 10-12 Luffa chapters and call it a month, because I've done that before. I feel like this year needs to be trickier. Also, I really, really want to get Te in the books. I don't think I like the chemical elements more than Luffa, but it is telling that I'm even having that conversation with myself right now.

Luffa 225-234. Of course I still plan to stick with what brung me to the dance. Kakarot is behind me but this fic isn't finished. The problem is that I only have a nebulous plan on where to go from here, and it's coming together a lot more gradually than I thought it would. I plotted a cool scene on my commute this afternoon, so that's a good sign, but I need to be realistic here. Last year went really well because I was writing the Luffa vs. Goku fight that I had been dreaming of for years. Motivation-wise, I've got nowhere to go but down. But I had similar problems in 2018-2020, and I prevailed then.

That Bulma project I was horsing around with. Last year, there was some crank on Twitter getting pissy at anyone who shipped Bulma with any non-canon partners, like there's a rule or something. That kind of inspired me to try to do some shorter works featuring Bulma hooking up with different characters. I didn't get very far last year, but I liked having a side-thing that I could jump into whenever I got stuck with the main work.

You know, thinking about it, I really need to use 2025 to work on some non-Luffa fanfic. In the early years, I worried that working on a longfic would eat up time that I could use for one-shots, and I slowly acclimated to just focusing one thing. But now that the Goku fight is done, the pressure is off to finish Luffa before I die. I mean, it's still not finished, but the Goku fight was a major milestone, and I didn't like the idea of never getting that done.

I mean, I still get kudos on that Caulikale fic I wrote in 2018, and the Gochi thing I did. People like that stuff, and I'm pretty good at making it. Maybe I should run a poll.

I dunno, that's probably enough for now. I should go back to bed. But I feel a lot better about November than I did a few days ago, that's for sure.

[quordleona03]

"AfterMASH, only like the Golden Girls, Max and Charles and Francis sharing a house..."

@topshelf2112-blog

Written for fun, but I thought you'd like it. Does it count as a work in progress if I have no idea how to take it further?

At work, Charles Emerson Winchester never answered his own phone. At home, he always did: Honoria loathed answering a telephone call unless she knew and loved who was calling, and Max was still, even after five months as their beloved guest, quite shy of taking calls - unsurprisingly, given some of the callers.

"How did you get this number?" he asked, recognising the voice at the other end of the phone. "Well, thank you, Charles," Pierce said, sounding amused. "Hello to you too. I got your number from Sidney Freedman." "How did he get my number?" Charles demanded in astonishment. "No, never mind, what do you want?" He listened to Pierce's outline of the situation, and then said "And you are not taking him in, why?" "I'd love to," Pierce said, and damn the man, he sounded sincere. "Sidney and my dad and my sponsor all say I can't take in a man who's something like two weeks into sobriety when I've only been sober eight months myself."

"That... aspect had not occurred to me," Charles said.

"Well, there it is. I know you offered Klinger a home - " "That is entirely different - "

"I sure hope so," Pierce said, sounding far too knowing for Charles' taste. "The only thing is - you'll have to clear the house out of booze." "Cognac is not booze," Charles said. He regretted it as he heard Pierce draw in a sharp breath, half anger, half pain. "Of course," he said, before Pierce could put words to either - "Max no longer drinks: Honoria and I will clear our cellar. When are we to expect him?" "Thank you," Pierce said, and sighed. "I got a phone call from his sister, they're releasing him Friday. I got permission to drive him over to your place. Ah - where is your place? Or do we just go to Beacon Hill and yell 'Winchester'?"

Charles gave him the address.

"Thanks. We should arrive in time for lunch. Don't worry, I don't expect you to feed me."

"I expect we might be able to provide you with a sandwich."

"Thanks, Charles," Pierce said.

Charles went through to the sitting-room, where Honoria was reading. "That was Doctor Pierce."

"Hawkeye?" Honoria sounded delighted. Far too delighted. "Is he p-paying us a visit?" "A brief one, on Friday, for lunch. But, it appears we have to make a decision about our parents' ultimatum."

"I th-thought we h-had another m-month?" Honoria's stutter got worse. Their parents were now among the group of people Honoria knew but did not love.

In a few words, Charles concisely outlined what Pierce had told him. "I didn't feel that I could refuse."

"Of c-course not," Honoria said. "Max and I will make up the other guest room."

"I think we should make a final decision," Charles said. "Our parents have already made clear what they feel about Max. I am quite certain that taking in another 4077 refugee will only exacerbate their venom. We may as well move now as later - especially as our guest will need quiet and continuity."

Honoria looked around the room. They had both lived here since Honoria was eighteen. The house had been built originally for a Winchester widow, in the 1890s: it had been modernised, and Charles had claimed it for his own residence when Honoria turned eighteen. It was more her home than his, for all the official position of their parents was that they had granted it to Charles, and Honoria kept house for him - though staff from the larger family house did most of the work.

"Of course, you could remain here," Charles said. "It's my guests that our parents find so obnoxious."

Honoria made a sudden, frantic, shushing motion with her hand. Charles blinked at her.

Max Klinger was standing behind him. He looked at Charles very sadly for a long moment. "Y'didn't tell me your parents were giving me ultimatums about me, Major."

"Of course not," Charles said. "You are my guest, Max."

"You just said your parents find me 'obnoxious'. What's supposed to happen in a month?"

Charles looked down his nose. "Nothing that need concern you, Max, unless you have a fear of sea air. Honoria and I had been discussing a long stay in a cottage that was left to her personally on her twenty-fifth birthday." "It's l-lovely, Max," Honoria said. "We ha-haven't stayed there since Ch-charles went to K-Korea, b-b-but, y-ou w-w-will come w-w-w-ith us, w-on't you?" She got to the end of the sentence, and looked up at Max doubtfully.

"Sure, if you want me to, Nori," Max said, having waited like Charles for her to finish. "But what is it that's supposed to happen next month?"

"My parents gave me an ultimatum," Charles said. "I intend to answer it. Doctor Pierce is visiting us briefly on Friday, with Father Mulcahy - he is apparently in need of a quiet place to stay for the next few months. Honoria, has no one stayed in the cottage since 1950? What sort of state is it in?"

"I imagine it'll be quite unprovisioned," Honoria agreed. "Perhaps Max wouldn't mind helping us set it up for a long stay?"

"For Father Mulcahy?" Max said, checking.

"For all four of us," Charles said. "Assuming you still wish to be bothered by us."

[invisibleventer420]

Not Gonna Happen

What's not gonna happen? My life following traditional norms. I know I never want kids but I feel as though I'll never have a husband, never have a good-paying career, never have any friends, never have a good relationship with my sister, never be able to travel, never be respected or taken seriously by my mother or sister, never have the confidence to stand up for myself.

But what is stopping me from finding a partner, getting a better job, making friends, and gaining self confidence?

Is it me?

I am stopping myself from all of these things. But I ask myself, "is that really true, or are you looking for someone/something to blame?". To that, I do not have an answer.

I don't have a partner because I don't like men. I'm not a lesbian by any means but misogyny is real, it is ingrained in men since childhood. Boys are taught crying is weak, sharing feelings is weak, all women are sensitive emotional messes, all women are supposed to have their children and they're supposed to take care of the shopping, cleaning, and raising kids all alone, they need their woman to make appointments for them, etc. etc. None of that sounds like a good time to me. And on top of that, when men experience severe trauma through parenting or previous romantic relationships, since they are raised to not cry or show emotion, the trauma they have gets more, and more, and more intense over time because it is never dealt with professionally or healthily. Hurt people, hurt people. They will project their trauma onto you and cause you to also have severe trauma (for nothing that is your fault) I'm willing to argue MOST men are hurt and spread their trauma onto others whether they realize it or not.

I will never have a good paying career because all I have is an associates degree, I'm a POC woman, and this economy is really fucked up.

I'll never have friends because, I never have. Any friendships I had where I was in a friend group, was because of a guy I was dating. They were his friends, not mine. And while in these friend groups, I got along with most everyone. But I've never had a friend group of my own. And at the age of 27, it's damn near impossible to create one. I have a neurological disorder that makes it impossible for me to behave in a non-awkward manner. While I don't want to use it as a crutch.. would you judge someone with down syndrome who said "I can't understand math because of the way my brain works"? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But, I will be blamed for explaining why I cannot do certain things BECAUSE of my disorder. Since I do not look retarded, everyone assumes I am faking it, not putting myself out there enough, etc. Neurological disorders do NOT work like that. It is a piece of my brain that literally cannot be fixed. It isn't anxiety, it isn't depression, it isn't anything except the fact: I have an incurable neurological disorder. The neurological disorder causes me to suffer from depression and anxiety because that is what I experience when I come to the realization, I cannot function socially. I don't think anyone will ever read this but I feel as though I need to continue my explanation as to how my neurological disorder affects me. And why is that? Why do I ALWAYS feel like people think I am lying unless I have cold, hard, facts and receipts? Oh yeah, because I lied relentlessly 10+ years ago and my mother still refuses to believe a single word out of my mouth even though I haven't lied to her once, in FUCKING YEARS.

I doubt I'll ever have a good relationship with my sister because really, at the end of the day, I don't like her and I don't think she likes me. The only time I get along with her is when we are at functions with a lot of people. Why is that? Because she is too embarrassed to relentlessly insult me in front of so many people. I cannot even begin to count how many insults I received from her in Georgia. Cannot fucking begin. I was with her today and yesterday and did not receive a single verbal insult (even though I knew what I was wearing, my eyebrows, my body modifications, etc. were being judged by her and it was really hard for her to keep her mouth shut). Was I stared at in a way that told me she deserves to get a reality check by being punched in the face by a stranger? Yes. I will likely always feel that way about her. I don't like her, but I can't even think of the last time I insulted or questioned her appearance. Yet she does it to me 9 times out of 10. Why does she do this? I'll never be able to travel because I will never have friends or a partner and Lord knows women cannot travel alone, especially out of the country. I am way too fucking awkward to do one of those "let's meet each other online and get a group of 5 girls to meet somewhere for a vacation!" I would much, much, much prefer to stay home alone if that is the case. I do not see many positives coming out of that. Only stressors because of how particular I am about my habits, routines, and sleeping quarters.

I don't think I need to get into why my sister and mother will never respect me. They see me as an unstable drug addict with no education that's only dated losers and will never be a normal person. They tell me this through their actions every time I see them.

As far as gaining self confidence, I guess maybe that is one thing that i can learn. And I would like to think I'm trying (slowly). But I know I will NEVER be the type of person that is described as "she's the best but you don't want to fuck with her". And I wish so much to be described like that, but I'm a pussy. And speaking of being a pussy, really, If I wasn't, I would have done it right and kill3d myself 10+ years ago.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

warnings: brief and indirect mentions of abuse/trauma

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”

-

[A/N:] this is a repost of chapter 1 because my masterlist is being fucky

[hypmicdaydreams]

I've just been binge reading a bunch of your scenario's because they're all so adorable and fluffy. May I ask for HCs for Gentaro, Ichiro and Samatoki (seperate of course) with a S/O who wants to head into the Literature and Drama field but has an incredible hard home life to balance at the same time and they're family expects a lot from them. Just comforting HC mostly but it's up to you. Love your work 💕💕

This was honestly really comforting to write. Definitely felt like I was also speaking to and reminding myself towards the end haha. I hope this was comforting for you as well; it was so nice to write <3 Thank you sm for the request and your kind words anon, and I hope you enjoy 💕

𝗜𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗼, 𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗸𝗶, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗷𝗼𝗿 𝘀/𝗼 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲

-pairings: ichiro yamada x gn!reader, samatoki aohitsugi x gn!reader, gentaro yumeno x gn!reader

-genre: fluff, comfort

Ichiro

he’s not entirely huge on literature (light novels don’t count after all, at least now what you were studying), but damn did he think it was awesome that you were going into the field

ichiro did read his fair share of books most definitely, but it always amazed him how you were able to pick up on the little details and techniques that he had glossed over

loved it whenever you explained it all to him and what it meant. and if you did so with his light novels, well, ichiro is most certainly going to start a long conversation about all his thoughts and theories

idk he does kinda strike me as someone that loves analysis, even if it was something he was bad at, so ichiro does love it when you ramble about a certain book or poem or play you had to read for class

one day, however, he notices that you have a sort of gloomy aura around you, as if there was something troubling you deep down

ichiro could tell that you didn’t want to bother him or anyone with it, so at first, he’d probably leave you be, though he’d definitely do little things here and there such as hugging you out of nowhere or always bringing you snacks

he didn’t really want to push you if it really made you feel uncomfortable talking about it, so ichiro would reassure you that he was always there and ready to comfort you whenever you needed it, even if it was something you couldn’t tell him

if ichiro could tell that it was really troubling you, however, he’d ask you about it directly. of course, he couldn’t force you to tell him, but ichiro wanted to make it clear that he was worried and wanted to help

eventually, you do open up to him about your stress and how it was getting really difficult balancing out your work and home life. your home life wasn’t good as it is, and adding school to that only made it worse

it felt like everything was happening at once, and you simply didn’t have the time or energy to deal with it. you were only one person after all

ichiro immediately takes you in his arms and quietly listens as you continue to vent. school was rough, your family was starting to get on your nerves again as they continued pressuring you to do better, and your motivation to do anything was already starting to slip

after you were done letting it all out, the first thing he does is crush all your doubts and tell you how much you mean to him

you were one of the smartest and strongest people he knew, and ichiro knew that you were going to conquer this as well. no matter what you did, he was always going to be proud of you for giving it your all

also going to try his best to give you advice on how to handle everything. he couldn’t help much with school, though he does advise you to take breaks and remind you to care for your health, or your home life, but he could try

“babe, i know you’re always trying your hardest, and that’s the best you can do. your family’s expectations shouldn’t matter. as it is, i’m so proud of you”

definitely comforting words to hear, and you begin to feel much better when you were with your boyfriend

afterwards, ichiro cuddles you for the rest of the day, peppering you with kisses and other forms of affection and pretty much doing anything that you wanted to do

he knew what it felt like when things got too hard, when you thought that you hit a dead end and couldn’t go on for much longer, but he wanted you to know that you weren’t alone

Samatoki

he’s not really into literature and the like, though it was more like samatoki couldn’t quite wrap his head around all the metaphors and other implicit references

finds it commendable that it was your field of study, however. i can see him getting prideful and boasting about how you had such a creative mind and whatnot (i think samatoki would love to show you off since you were his s/o, and that was something he was proud of)

even if samatoki doesn’t understand a word of what you were talking about, he still loved it when you told him about your studies and what you were doing in class. it was cute hearing how passionate you were about the subject

i think he’d always ask you about what you were learning just so he could see your smile that he was madly in love with as you tell him everything that had happened to you that day

so he catches on to the fact that you weren’t particularly feeling the best one day as he asked you about your day. you sounded a bit tense quite frankly, and samatoki assumed that something had happened

he really is quick to act on his temper and presume that someone had hurt you, and before samatoki makes himself all riled up, he confronts you about it and asked what was bothering you

you won’t be able to get out of this one. even if you try to brush it off and say it was nothing, samatoki is persistent and continues asking you about it. he just couldn’t accept the fact that you were fine, not with how on edge you seemed about everything

eventually, you give in and tell him about how difficult and stressful it has been managing your home life and school at the same time

there was too much going on at once, and to top it all off, your family made it clear that they had high expectations from you which only added to your stress. there was a fear of failure and disappointing everyone you cared for

samatoki promptly negates all of that however, though in a rather aggressive tone might i add

it’s not on purpose though; samatoki couldn’t stand hearing how you were afraid of disappointing both him and your family. there was no possible way that you could ever do so

he makes it quite clear as well that you were doing well in everything and that you were strong for being able to handle that much stress. pretty much aggressively (in a loving way) tells you how much he loves you and how proud he was of you

but samatoki also wasn’t the best with words, so they may come out a bit incoherent or jumbled before he gave up and just held you. his touch was reassurance in and of itself

afterwards, he pretty much forces you to take a break from everything that was going on and takes you anywhere you want. he’ll drag you out of your room if he has to since he can’t stand seeing you so blue

samatoki may not be able to help you with either your work or family situation (as much as that pained him to admit), so he did his best to make sure that your health was in tact

family was always a big focus for him, and hearing how hard your family life was only made him more heartbroken really, so samatoki wanted you to know that he was family that you could count on

he’d be the supportive and loving family for you, always telling you just how proud he was of you and how much you meant to him

Gentaro

definitely thinks it’s fascinating that you went into a similar, if not same, field as him

he didn’t find many who’d enjoy a long, deep conversation about the intricacies and hidden complexities of the classics, so it was more than welcome

i kid i kid, but gentaro did feel a bit prideful that you shared the same interests as him. it felt nice to have someone that was just as passionate about storytelling and whatnot

he does take an interest in your studies and asks you what you were studying in your classes, always offering his input or own stories about the time he had to read a particular novel

casual novel discussions were most certainly a thing, and sometimes it led to you guys arguing over which interpretation of a particular passage was correct. it was all in good fun though

honestly, you couldn’t help but feel loved in a sense. i mean, your boyfriend was quite invested in your own studies (probably much more than you at times too). the attention made you feel so warm and bubbly

however, gentaro is also quite perceptive, and he immediately picks up on the fact that you seemed to be stressed as of late

even when your classwork was light, well, as light as it could be, you were always tense and thinking about something in particular. at times, he could see how you were struggling to even focus on your work

you’ve told him about your home life before and how difficult it was given that your family expects so much out of you, so that’s his first thought, though he does ask you about it

and when you confirm it, gentaro’s quick to comfort you too, reassuring you that you shouldn’t pay much mind to others’ expectations while also listening to you if you needed to vent

he does have a way with words, a sort of a magic touch really, so you find yourself feeling better in no time

the way he describes how proud he is of you for making it this far and balancing both your home life and studies may move you to tears or end up flustering you to be honest

gentaro certainly does take you out on a date afterwards, an attempt at making you get away from everything in a while. whether it be stargazing at midnight or enjoying a drink at the cafe, you deserved a break after all

can see him offer to help you with your classes and lighten your load since gentaro was quite knowledgeable on literature. plus, it’s not like he’d exactly hate it since he had a deep love of stories

if there was anything you needed help on, he’d be right there for you. gentaro may not have been able to do much about your home life, but he could try and make your studies as stress-free as possible

(your assignments turn out to be so eloquently written, and as much as you wanted to turn it in, you knew that it wouldn’t work. you did appreciate the sentiment though)

throughout the day, gentaro might tell you silly little stories/anecdotes, even if they were completely nonsensical, since they seemed to always make you feel better

and right when you were going to retire and go to bed, he’d be there, whether through a text or quick call, to reassure you that things were definitely going to get better and that he was proud of what you’ve done regardless

they always made your sleep a bit more peaceful

[snapdragon-mina]

Enchanted Pt. 1

Kuroo Tetsurou x GN!Reader

A/N: UHHHHH, here's my late entry for ✨the newest✨ POCuties Sever Collab Based on the movie version of Ella Enchanted

Warnings: No beta we die like men, a couple swear words here and there, mentions of death, attempted murder, and this is a Crack fic treated seriously. Part 2 will be out within a few hours of this.

Word Count: 2.8k

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

----------------❌----------------

It all starts with a baby. A beautiful baby named (y/n) was born into a comfortable family. This baby cried a lot, wanting to be held by their mother constantly. She took good care of her baby alongside kiyoko, a household fairy. Everything worked out beautifully until a particular fairy godmother appeared. As desperately as the mother and kiyoko tried, they could not hide the baby from Satori (the only fairy godfather who gave god awful gifts).

As much as Satori tried to quiet the baby's crying, it would not stop. This gave him the perfect idea for a gift. He gave the child the "gift" of obedience. (y/n) would not be able to disobey a command given to them no matter what. Kiyoko absolutely hated the gift that Satori gifted the baby and begged him to take it back but he refused.

Despite the gift they were given, (y/n) grew up to be strong willed and determined. Once they discovered a girl being bullied for something as stupid as a name, they quickly took to standing up for her. The girl introduced herself as Yachi and they became best friends very quickly.

When (y/n) discovered the gift, they asked for Kiyoko to take it away, only to be told that she couldn't. But despite this, (y/n) always fought against the gift whenever they could.

When (y/n) was still a child, their mother grew very ill. As she laid in her bed, she told (y/n) to never reveal their gift to anyone. She didn't want her child to be taken advantage of. Before she passed away, she gave them her necklace to remember her by.

----💫----

Getting dressed, (y/n) put on their mother's necklace only to be interrupted by none other than Kiyoko. "(Y/n), your father wants to speak to you." She said before taking her leave.

(y/n) walked to their father's study only to receive shocking news.

"What?! You're married??"

"Look, she has money. It was either marry her or sell the house. She has two sons, so there's no doubt she's a wonderful mother-figure." He let out a sigh before continuing. "I'm sure you'll all be the best of friends, just... give them all a chance."

The next morning, three people arrived in a carriage. They were *not* pleased at the sight of the house.

(y/n)'s father greeted the three with a warm smile and two kisses to the woman's cheeks. "Welcome, my dear. These must be your sons?"

She nodded with a fake smile. "Yes, this is my dear Tooru, and my... other son, Tobio." The brunette just stared while the black haired one did an exaggerated bow. Just as this occurred, (y/n) walks out of the house to meet the three new people who were supposedly living with them now.

"You must be (y/n)." The woman said, giving them a once over. (y/n) bowed and greeted them with a polite "pleased to meet you."

After a short, awkward pause, the woman returned her attention to the father. "You have a wonderful home, but I recall you saying that you had a castle." she hissed out.

He shook his head. "No no, you must be mistaken, I said "A man's home is his castle"."

While their father and the lady talked, (y/n) introduced themselves with a smile only to be almost completely ignored.

Inside the house, the two brothers began setting up. Tooru putting up posters of a prince while Tobio explained.

"Tooru's president of Prince Tetsu's fan club." They grinned at each other only for their faces to fall into a scowl when (y/n) spoke.

"You must be aware that Tetsurou and his uncle are responsible for the segregation of the kingdom, right?"

With a judging look, Tooru spoke. "so? He's hot."

After looking around a bit the two were getting increasingly displeased with their surroundings. A small room, damn near nonexistent closet space, etc. "This won't work." The brunette spoke in a clearly disgusted tone. "We'll use yours. Show it to us."

Unable to disobey the command, (y/n) led them towards their room. Tooru narrowed his eyes and seemed to file that bit of information for later. Upon reaching the room, He was immediately disgusted. "It looks awful. There isn't any room here either. We're throwing out some of your clothes."

"what?! No. Get out of my closet." They went to attempt to force him away only for him to immediately demand that you get away from him.

As they backed up, He noticed the necklace and demanded that it be given to him. Unfortunately, (y/n) was forced to hand over the necklace.

Not a moment later, (y/n)'s father announced his business trip. They needed money and his work was the only thing keeping them afloat.

----💫----

During a heated debate in class is when Tooru figured it out. They'd been debating on whether king Kei had been a fair ruler or not. (y/n) was vehemently arguing in favor that he was not. He'd enslaved every other race and forced them to work in little stereotyped boxes. He'd made laborers and entertainers out of anyone non human. (y/n) *hated* it.

Tooru, on the other hand, thought that he was a wonderful ruler. He gave us free enterprises, humans don't have to work hard at things that *they* should be doing. They disagreed and when (y/n) insulted the prince. Tooru demanded that they apologize and admit they're wrong and when (y/n) did, it all clicked. (Y/n) couldn't obey a single command they were given.

----⭐----

"Do I really have to go to this mall opening?" Tetsurou asked his uncle as they sat inaide of an extremely expensive looking carriage.

"As heir to the throne, it's your responsibility. You're a public figure. You have to be seen." Kei told him simply.

"Yeah but you're the one in charge."

"Not for long. Your coronation is next week and you need to be out there with your people, Tetsu."

Seated next to Kei was Tadashi, who was something like Kei's closest companion. You would rarely ever see Kei without Tadashi.

Kei advised Tetsurou that keeping a good public image builds trust within a kingdom before telling him of the things that where apparently going on within the kingdom.

Of giants and ogres wanting to rebel against them and take them down but none of this sounded right to him.

"The giants have always been peaceful." Tetsurou said, confused as to why he was being told otherwise.

"The ogres were once peaceful as well. Until they killed your father in cold blood." His voice held a certain edge to it. "Before your father's gruesome death, I promised him that if anything happened to him, I would take care of you and the kingdom." Pushing up his glasses, a glare formed on the glass, shielding his eyes from view. "I have kept my promise, haven't I?"

Tetsurou remained silent for the rest of the ride, turning to face the window instead of his uncle.

----💫----

(Y/n) sat in the crowd next to Yachi, surrounded by hundreds of adoring fans of the prince as king Kei made an announcement.

"Thank you. It's wonderful to be in your... charming town of... Frell. Prince Tetsurou and I-" He was immediately cut off by the sounds of hundreds of people screaming at the mere mention of the prince's name. Kei decided to get the announcement done and over with. "And now it's with great pleasure that I introduce Prince Tetsurou."

Screams broke out again as the prince stepped into view. He waved as he walked out.

This was their cue.

Immediately, (y/n) and Yachi stood up on a fountain holding banners that read Say No To Ogrecide! and Stop Giant Land Grab!. The began chanting these words at the prince, catching his attention.

Tooru did not like this. He immediately ran over to the two protesting. "You're embarrassing us!" he hissed. "Go Home. Now."

Immediately, (y/n) began apologizing to Yachi as they left her there.

----⭐----

"Prince Tetsu, are you a fast runner?" A girl in the front asked him. He shook his head with a smile.

"Not really, why?" He immediately regretted those words. Because as soon as they left his mouth, the crowd charged at him; forcing him to flee.

He ran as quickly as he could until he ran into someone walking down a pathway. Quickly, he pulled them down and behind a stone wall.

"Prince Tetsurou."

"Please, call me Tetsu..." He trailed off, looking at the person he had just pulled down. "Sorry about that." He attempted to help them up, only to immediately be shot down.

"I don't need your chivalry and I definitely don't intend on bowing to you, either." They dusted themselves off and began walking away.

"Bow or not, that's your choice. Can't really do much about that other than have you beheaded, but that's a bit too much" he joked.

"Charming. Why don't you do what your people usually do? Steal my land and destroy my livelihood. Now if you'll excuse me." They continued walking away only to be forcefully stopped by him commanding them to wait and come back.

Groaning, (y/n) turned around and walked back to him, standing directly in front of him.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"(Y/n) of Frell."

"(Y/n)... You're one of the first people I've met that hasn't immediately melted at the sight of me." He sounded astonished.

"It might've done you some good." They rolled their eyes and went to turn around and leave again.

Tetsurou paused and looked offended. "Wait, I've never stolen anyone's land nor their livelihood. I want peace in the kingdom as much as anyone."

(y/n) turned around with a scowl on their face. "So you have a new plan once you take the crown?"

"Well... Sorta... I can't reveal it though."

They scoffed in his face. "Yeah, thought so. Y'know you're all the same. You care more about your fancy club and next jousting tournament."

"I- well I've never been comfortable with having a fanclub. In fact... Your obvious hatred of me is kinda refreshing." He grinned.

"Obvious? I was trying so hard to hide it." They rolled their eyes and continued on their walk home. As they were walking they suddenly remembered leaving their bag. Any attempt to go retrieve it was immediately stopped by a simple "wait right there."

They were stuck in place as Tetsu rushed back to get it. Unfortunately, a carriage was rushing towards them. They called out his name but was only saved as they were inches away from getting hit.

"Are you insane?! Why didn't you move?" Tetsurou asked.

"Yeah... I would've... were it not for your apparent fascination with knocking me to the ground." They sat up. "This is the second time today."

"Yeah well I'll try to be more considerate next time you're about to get ran over."

"What makes you think we'll see each other again?" They raised an eyebrow.

"Won't we?" he asked.

"Nope."

Before much else could be said, Tooru stood in the middle of the path, seething. "Get over here."

Immediately, (y/n) got up and walked over.

"Shouldn't you be at home cleaning the fireplace?" Tooru let out a forced laugh before whispering to them. "Stop flirting. I'm going to be at his coronation."

"Yeah in the center of the table with an apple in your mouth." They muttered in response.

"Go back to the mall with Tobio."

(y/n) stormed off with Tobio in tow as Tooru stayed back to try to flirt with his royal highness.

----💫----

At the mall, (y/n) met back up with Yachi. "Where were you?" the girl asked. (y/n) explained their meeting with the prince and went on to say that Tobio and Tooru were there.

"Why do you always do what Tooru tells you to?" She asked.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Tell the truth."

"Guess I do..."

A moment later the two were spotted by Tobio and Tooru. "(Y/n). take that for me." Tooru asked, pointing towards something on a stand. The moment they took it, something lit up in Tobio's eyes. It quickly devolved into demanding them to steal various items against their will until they got caught taking a pair of glass slippers.

It resulted in (y/n) getting chased throughout the mall by a guard.

----💫----

The moment their new step mother learned that (y/n) had been arrested for theft, she flew into exaggerated hysterics. "A felon in my own home!" she cried.

Kiyoko immediately came to their defense. "They were probably put up to it. The (y/n) I know, would never do this." She glared at the brothers. However, as Tooru looked out the window, He got an idea.

"Kiyoko's right, we were there. They were forced to and it isn't poor (y/n)'s fault at all." He sighed to his mother, leaving (y/n) and kiyoko confused.

"So, Who put you up to it?" The woman demanded as she looked away.

A devious smirk graced Tooru's face. "Tell her it was Yachi." He whispered.

"Y-" They quickly covered their mouth but that wasn't enough. "Yachi."

Kiyoko closed her eyes and let out a sigh. The woman immediately forbade (y/n) from ever speaking to them again.

It was then that Yachi approached the door with the intent to ask (y/n) about what had happened at the mall. (y/n) was forced to answer the door and tell their best and only friend that they never want to see her again.

Later that day, (y/n) cried to Kiyoko about how awful the experience was until they came to the conclusion that they absolutely had to find the fairy that cursed them and Kiyoko offered something that would help them.

She held a book in her hands and present it to to them.

"I'm not... The most talented fairy... But this book is my boyfriend, Ryuu..."

The book was a light pink and gold with a magic mirror in the center. It showed a face in it and the moment he was revealed, he greeted (y/n).

"I've never seen anyone like it."

"Well, It was an accident. I wanted to practice a spell that would trim his hair since it had grown out, but it... didn't go well. So now he's in a book." Kiyoko explained.

Kiyoko allowed (y/n) to take Ryuu along with them on their journey.

----💫----

They walked through a forest, holding Ryuu in their hands when they heard screams. An elf was stuck to a spinning wheel as a couple of people threw darts at him. The elf told them to kick their asses and they did just that.

He began commentating as they fought off the guys and eventually, they won the fight with the men retreating.

Immediately (y/n) helped the elf down and checked on them quickly. Fortunately, the elf was completely uninjured.

"I'm Shoyo!"

"I'm (y/n). Nice to meet you. Now if you're okay, it was nice to meet you but I have to leave."

That didn't sit well with Shoyo. He immediately began arguing and trying to convince them to eat with him until he succeeded. Convinced that (y/n) wouldn't make it through the woods alone.

Eventually they made it to a bar in an Shoyo's home town with only a minor distraction.

Inside of the bar, they both sat down to eat and so (y/n) decided to ask a question. "Why don't you like music?"

"Right because all Elves are supposed to love singing and dancing. I wanna be an athlete, not an singer or dancer."

(Y/n) nodded sympathetically. "Yeah I understand that. I'd forgotten all about the laws that restrict elves from being anything other than singers and other occupations like that."

----💫----

After convincing Shoyo to come with them, (y/n) walked alongside him calmly until they were caught up with a couple of ogres. (y/n) tried to convince the ogres that that they were on their side only for that to backfire horribly and end up with them being steadily lowered into a pot with Shoyo tied to a tree.

Extremely conveniently, Prince Tetsurou found them and fought off the ogres, freeing (y/n) and Shoyo. He backed one of them against a tree with a sword pointed at the ogre's neck. "Are you one of the monsters that killed my father?"

The ogre looked confused. "What? No no, you've got it all wrong. King Koutarou was a good man! We lived in peace during his reign, why would we ever want to kill him?"

Tetsurou pulled the sword away from the ogre but didn't seem to believe his words. "Leave. Find breakfast somewhere else."

The ogres agreed and quickly left the area. Tetsurou turned towards (y/n). "What are you doing here w with an elf for protection? Do you get off to near death experiences or something?"

"No. I had things under control." They lied.

"Yeah, sure you did. I see the score stands Chivalry: 2, Gratitude: 0." He said, back facing them.

They apologized and thanked him for the help before cleaning dressing a wound he'd gotten from protecting them.

"So... Where are you heading?"

"A giant's wedding. I have to meet my godfather."

"That's on the way back to me home, I'll come with."

"No thanks."

"Too bad."

[roll-da-credits]

A Bunny with Bunny?  -Tamaki x reader-

Word count: 2k

Tamaki was someone who needed constant reassuring, you knew that when getting in a relationship with him. But sometimes, you forget. With a new tiny addition to your family distracting you and taking all your time, its hard not to get insecure and jealous.

A/n: AHHHHHHH, I can’t. I hope you guys enjoy the first fanfic I post here. I’ve literally never posted in Tumblr ever. I’ve always used Wattpad.

It was common knowledge by this point that Tamaki Amajiki had a lot of insecurities and anxiety. It only heightened when it came to you.

Although, a lot of the time you diffused his anxiety and insecurities pretty quickly once you realized. Whenever it came to you, he found himself deep in thought at night thinking if he deserved you.

In his mind, you were an incredible person with an equally wonderful personality. While he, on the other hand, was shy and riddled with nervousness at any social interaction. You shone bright, much like Mirio, he thought of himself as nothing compared to you.

Every single time he's had one of those thoughts, you'd be able to sense his doubts by the way he carried himself. Not doubts about your relationship or you, but on himself.

So, the entire day you'd stick close to him, showering him with light affection that you knew won't embarrass or make him feel even more embarrassed.

He considered himself EXTREMELY lucky to have someone as understanding and caring as you in his life. He knew dealing with his myriad of issues was difficult. But you went through them with no problem.

You even helped him with helping himself. By your constant words of affirmation, he's been able to be a bit more confident, even when you weren't there to help him.

Time went on, and by the second year you were dating, he barely had any doubts about himself in your relationship.

That is until he heard your conversation with Nejire.

"Just look at him!!!" You squealed in excitement.

 He was going through a hallway when he heard your and Nejire's voice when the hallways separated to the right and left. He stopped to listen in, curious about what you were talking about.

 "He is adorable." Nejire seemed to agree with you, peeking at the corner. He saw how you gushed about whatever photo you were showing Nejire.

His heart sank a little bit, but he wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was a photo of a family member.

"I just met him like last week and already have A LOT of photos of him."

Ok, this is starting to not sound like a family member.

Maybe it's a friend's baby brother. You have a lot of friends outside of the school you were close to their siblings as well.

"I just want to pamper him with all the kisses in the world and give him world!!!" You gushed.

Shit.

 Tamaki felt his heart drop. There's no way you were talking about a family member. Not by the way you seem to be enamored by them.

He tried to think back on when you seemed to lose interest. Thinking back to last week, did you act any differently?

If you did, he didn't notice it. The problem was last week you said you were ridiculously busy with stuff at home. He could even see from the tapping of your foot to the ground when it was last period you were aching to go back home.

Was it because of this new guy?

His heart clenched at the thought.

"God, I love him so much." His mind begged him to stop listening.

But before walking away, he wanted to hear what Nejire might say. There's no way his best friend would be ok with this.

There's no way she wouldn't protest at you being infatuated with another person when you were still in a relationship with Tamaki. That's just what a good friend would do. Instead of that, she said jokingly.

"Watch out a certain blue-haired boy might get jealous." You both laughed at her remark.

Did you think he wouldn't get jealous over you doting on another guy?

Did the nights you spent together cuddling and napping together really meant nothing to you?

His insecurities crept back into his mind. Tiny voices whispered about how he should've expected it. He should've expected someone as radiant as you would never want to be with someone like him.

His vision was blurred by the lot of tears that came down as he furiously tried to wipe them away.

He didn't watch the way he was going, and as a result, he bumped in head first to someone's chest.

He tried to mutter an apology, yet it came out as a stuttering mess of squeaks. "Woah! Slow down, Tamaki. What's wrong?"

Mirio.

Thankfully the guy he bumped into was Mirio, one of the most understanding guys he ever known.

Mirio pulled Tamaki to the side, where they both sat on a nearby seat. He patiently waited as Tamaki rubbed his eyes red, trying to clear his eyes from tears.

When Tamaki finally calmed down a little and is now just sniffling once in a while, Mirio braved himself to ask the question.

"Hey, Tamaki, what's wrong?" Tamaki's gaze still fixed to the ground, spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. "I think Y/n doesn't love me anymore."

Mirio's eyes went wide in shock. He didn't believe that in a second. You're the person who'd take any chance you can get to attack Tamaki with kisses or force him to cuddle with you whenever he felt unloved.

"Why do you think that?" Mirio composed himself. "I overheard them and Nejire talking about some guy she found cu- cute."

He stuttered a little bit at the end, finding it hard to believe that he would ever say that out loud.

"There has to be a misunderstanding here. Are you sure it's not just some celebrity or a family member?"

Tamaki heard the small panic in Mirio's voice. He knew Mirio didn't want to accept the fact either. "I heard them say that they just met him last week and that they wanted to give him kisses."

Mirio rubbed his temples to try and cope with the upcoming headache caused by stress.

There would be no way that you'd do that to Tamaki, is there?

There was a possibility that you and Tamaki's relationship didn't work out. He knew relationships aren't always permanent. But he didn't believe that you'd be such a coward, flirting with other guys when you were still in a relationship with someone who's head over heels for you.

"Tamaki, how about this." Mirio wanted to come up with a plan. Since it was already time to go home anyway, he thought it'd be a great idea to do it. "You and I can both go to Y/n's house, where they're most likely at right now, then we can talk about it."

Tamaki looked like he was about to disagree until, Mirio cut him off, "We need to make sure we read the situation correctly. We don't want to assume the worse, but at the same time, we shouldn't be needlessly positive either."

Tamaki gaped at Mirio's calmness. He knew he was so lucky to have Mirio as a friend. Someone level-headed that was able to bring Tamaki's mind to the situation at hand.

Tamaki agreed with Mirio together made their way over to your house. Albeit, both of them pretty nervous about what they might uncover.

When reaching your front door, Tamaki noticed how your parent's car wasn't there, which meant they weren't home. Tamaki took the spare key you gave him and opened the door.

It was relatively quiet until there was a high-pitched squeal from your bedroom.

Tamaki jumped at the sudden sound, and Mirio identified it as Nejire's voice.

"HE LOOKS CUTER IN PERSON!!!" They both heard Nejire scream.

Both the boys had incredibly bad feelings about this. Nejire's statement only confirmed the fact that you had brought this guy to your house.

Tamaki shook his head when Mirio motioned him to open the door to your bedroom.

He didn't want to see you all over a new guy who took your interest.

Hell, he didn't even want to be there in the first place.

Mirio sighed and nodded. He understood the circumstances his best friend was in and decided to open the door first.

When he did, the sight made his mouth gape open.

"Mirio!" You greeted the Tintin looking man (he looks like Tintin sue me.) "I've been looking for you everywhere. I want you to meet a special someone."

Tamaki, from behind Mirio's muscular physique, was still hidden from the two other people in the room and also couldn't see anything.

He only assumed the worst.

"This is Shiro. My parents bought him as a gift, and isn't he just the cutest little thing."

Wait

Wait

WAIT

BOUGHT??

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BOUGHT???

Tamaki pulled Mirio away from the door frame and looked at the sight that made Mirio so speechless.

Nejire was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her hand filled with fresh and clean greens.

You were sitting cross-legged as well, but on the ground. In the middle of your legs slept a tiny little black and white Dutch rabbit. (search them up they're adorable)

Now he understood why Mirio was speechless.

It was never a family member.

It was never a new guy.

It was never even a human being.

It was a fucking bunny.

He got so jealous to the point of crying, over a damn bunny.

Embarrassment seeped through him and he instantly walked to the corner of the wall to face it.

He should've noticed the litter box in your house. And how there were tufts of fur stuck on your clothes.

God, he felt so dumb.

You were so confused at your boyfriend's sudden timidness, but because of the tiny little ball of fur currently sleeping where you're sitting. There's no way you'd move and stir him from his sleep.

Mirio laughed out loud, and you quickly quieted him, explaining how bunnies are easily spooked.

He apologized and sat cross-legged in front of you, examining the tiny bunny thankfully still deep in slumber.

"Tamaki heard you talking about little Shiro to Nejire today." You nodded, while your hand softly caresses Shiro's head.

Tamaki shuffled closer into the wall, wishing to any god out there to melt into the wall. "After he told me, we genuinely thought you found a new boyfriend."

Your eyes widened and you looked over to your shy boyfriend.

Your heart ached at the thought.

Luckily for you, Shiro began waking up. Upon waking up, he promptly walked away from you to examine the new human being in the corner of the room, Tamaki.

You stood and gave Tamaki the biggest hug from the back you could muster.

Shiro nuzzled on Tamaki's ankles a little bit, making you giggle. "He seems to like you a lot!" Tamaki still refused to turn your way.

"You know in the RARE chance that I find someone even better than you. Which may I add is close to impossible I would never lie to you and still be in a relationship with you." He valued your honesty and the way you didn't try and make empty promises.

Mirio and Nejire took this as a cue to leave. Nejire, leaving the leafy greens on your bedside table above some tissues.

You took Tamaki's arm and turned him to look at you.

"Hey, hey. Have you been crying over this?" His gaze still fixated on the floor, he nodded.

You sighed and took one of your hands to his cheek to caress it. He enjoyed the warmth of your hand and leaned into it more.

Still trying to reassure him, you gave him a small peck on his lips.

Reminding him that right now, he was the most precious HUMAN guy in your life.

Shiro suddenly thumped at the ground with his two back legs. Both of you glanced over at the tiny bunny.

He looked pissed. He seemed to be demanding your attention and is furious to not be getting any.

Both of you burst into laughter at the silly behavior your bunny was now showing. You both sat down on the floor and began to give the bunny attention.

"See even he's jealous of you." You picked Shiro up on both your hands, all his four feet safely planted on the palm of your hand close to your stomach and not high from the ground.

Tamaki looked at you and Shiro and smiled intently. "Bunny with their pet bunny."

Your face heated up at the comment he made using your pet name, "oh shut up." You tried not to sound flustered but failed miserably. By the dopey smile you have decorating your face right now, Tamaki knew you were still ridiculously in love with him.

Even if one day you're not, Tamaki feels good knowing you'd break up with him before you hurt him any further.

After all, you are his most precious, incredible, kind, caring, daring, loving, patient.

Bunny

[pod95]

Pairing: Finn Balor X OFC (Ciara)

Word Count: 1310

Warnings: Mature to explicit as the story goes on.

Description: After moving to the USA from England to start her career as an NXT superstar, Ciara gets to meet her long time crush, NXT champion Finn Balor. It's clear the pair have chemistry, but when tensions start to rise, will they find they want more than a no strings attached relationship?

So this is the first piece of fanfic I have written literally ever. I will be posting them here periodically, but I already have 6 chapters out on my Wattpad, AO3 and FanFiction pages.

This series will involve romance, drama and (although it will take a little while) some smutt too. Hope you enjoy it! 😊

Chapter 4: Up Close and Personal

I awoke startled to the sound of my roommate banging on my door. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I checked the time on my phone, 9:36. Shit! I'd slept through both of my alarms and needed to be at the Performance Center by 10 for my first day. I opened my bedroom door and a panicked Alex was standing on the other side.

"You're gonna be late! Quick, take a shower and I'll drop you off on my way to work." She handed me some towels as I gave her a thankful look before rushing into the bathroom to get ready.

I don't normally sleep in but I didn't get back from the party until late and I definitely went overboard with the alcohol. Fergal and I talked way into the night before sharing a taxi back to our respective homes. Nothing happened obviously, despite my drunken attempts to flirt with him. I cringed at the thought of my clumsy pickup lines and awkward attempts at being alluring. I would have to be very careful around Fergal from now on, after all this was the second time in as many days I was trying to wash away my shame with water and shampoo.

I was washed, dressed and in the car in record time, arriving at the Performance Center a little after 10. Not too bad considering how late I woke up.

"Ciara! Follow me," Paul greeted me as I entered the lobby, "so like I said before, you debut in 3 weeks. You'll be entering into a feud between Tegan and Dakota as Tegans tag partner. Obviously you're very experienced in the ring but here in NXT we have our own rules, own way of doing things so you'll be working with some of our trainers today just to help you adapt."

He led me to a ring, where I was taught the basics of wrestling for the WWE.  There were so many rules, some of which didn't even make sense. Obviously certain moves were banned, no blading, no head shots, all the usuals. But then there was a lot of differences too. Matches often have "agents" that help to set up a match, if you wanted to use certain weapons you need written approval, and don't even get me started on the list of banned words. I was starting to become worried that I was out of my depth here.

After going through the rules and doing some initial training, I was introduced to Steffanie (Tegan Nox), Cheree (Dakota Kai) and Victoria (Raquel Gonzalez)

"Oh hey you're working with us right?" Steffanie asked, extending a friendly hand.

"Yeah! I'm Ciara! Looking forward to working with you all." I introduced myself to the girls and got to know them a little better before getting to work on our tag match

We'd been working for a couple of hours and had some good spots perfected. It was just the finish left to go, where I would hit my finishing move ( a Canadian Destroyer I called the "Natural 20") on Dakota and make the pin.

After practicing it a couple of times, I began to feel like someone was watching me. Glancing around the room, I spotted Fergal, leaning casually against a wall and observing our practicing.

Thankfully for my heart he wasn't shirtless today, in fact he wore a baggy hoodie which concealed his physique like a well hidden secret. I gave him a small smile and turned back to the girls.

"If I might offer some advice..." Fergal interrupted.

"Please." I gestured for him to join us in the ring.

He climbed up onto the apron and jumped over the top rope, clearly showing off.

"Your finisher is a Canadian Destroyer right? It's a good move-"

"Thanks!"

"-But, it's a little overplayed. In WWE alone there's Sin Cara, Adam Cole, Rey Mysterio and Chelsea Green who use it. If you wanna stand out, I'd switch it up a little."

I didn't know how to respond. He was right of course, but I'd always had the same finisher. I didn't want to change it.

"I've always had the same finisher, it means a lot to me. I don't wanna do a different one."

"I'm not saying to do a different one. I'm saying to tweak it a little."

After thinking it over for a few moments, I still didn't have any idea what Fergal was getting at.

"How?" I yielded, knowing that it would result in a cocky smile.

"Have you ever seen anyone do a springboard Canadian destroyer," he smirked.

"I haven't.."

"There's a reason for that. Its not done that often."

He took his hoodie off and threw it into the corner of the ring, revealing a tight vest which hugged his torso.

"Jump at me," Fergal instructed, taking me by surprise slightly. Physical contact with people who are practically strangers wasn't unusual in our line of work, but I still felt nervous at the thought of being that close to him. I did as he told me.

Taking a slight running start, I jumped at Fergal, his strong arms catching me beneath my thighs. As he held me there, explaining the next part of the move to me, two things crossed my mind. The first was that this man was even stronger than I realised. He was holding my full body weight with only his forearms and not even breaking a sweat. The second thought was how close his face was to my chest.

"Right, now I'm gonna bounce your back off the top rope, kinda like a rope assisted powerbomb, only on the rebound, jump over my shoulder into the Canadian Destroyer. OK?"

He spun me around and bounced me off the top rope, but I didn't quite have enough momentum and ended up bashing my chin on his shoulder blade.

"Ahh!" Fergal put me down gently before inspecting my chin.

"Are you OK? Can you move your jaw?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine, don't think it's injured at all, just hurt a bit."

Relieved, he backed off a little, seeming a little guilty that his suggestion had hurt me.

"Shall we try again?" I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him that I was fine and he had nothing to feel bad about.

"OK, but this time you need to really just dive over my shoulder OK? It'll be easier with the girls cause they're smaller."

We went again, and this time I used my full body weight to push myself back off the top rope, Diving elegantly over his shoulder and completing the move. It was a little clunky due to never having done it before, but after a few more attempts, I was able to do it perfectly.

After we'd finished practicing, I collapsed in the ring exhausted. Fergal handed me a bottle of water before sitting cross-legged next to me.

"Good job today. You worked really hard."

"Things are a lot different here in the big leagues huh?" I commented, sitting up and taking a much needed sip of the water. Fergal chuckled.

"You'll get used to it. I can see why Paul likes you."

It was only upon hearing this that something occurred to me.

"Wait, you were here to train too right? Damn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk up all your ti-"

"Dont even worry about it. I came here today to keep an eye on the newbies, " he smiled, reassuringly.

"I know but you could have been helping the others and instead you were stuck with m-"

"Are you hungry?" Fergal interrupted "I'm starving. Come on, I'll treat us to dinner," he stood up, helping me to my feet and leading me out of the training room before I had a chance to refuse, not that I would have done.

[fullmarvelheart]

Manhattan Incident

Pairing: Avengers x Enhanced!OFC

Word Count: 2,162

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of traumatic past, insomnia, passing out(..?)

A/N: Welcome to Chapter 1! I hope you all enjoy the story as well as the characters! Image is not my own. All rights go to the original creator.

Series Masterlist

I roll over and stare at my ceiling for what feels like the millionth time this night. Sleepless nights like this are not uncommon for me, unfortunately. Too many memories swirl in my head, bad memories at that.

The bright red numbers on the clock read 3:30am. I groan as I drag my hands across my face in frustration. Knowing that I'd just keep getting annoyed at myself, I tiredly throw the covers off my body and decide to go on an early morning run to relax my mind. 

When I step out into the crisp night, it feels as if a bucket of cold water has been thrown on me and I instantly feel awake.

I smile to myself as I lock the door behind me and stuff my key in the pocket of my leggings. It's a miracle I even found leggings with pockets! The cold air feels refreshing compared to my hot and stuffy bedroom. It helps ease my overactive mind.

The sound of my pounding footsteps on the pavement is music to my ears as I just focus only on that. It's extremely more pleasant that the hustle and bustle of cars and people that plague the New York  streets during the day.

I feel the energy flowing into each building and through each living thing as I pass by, though I try my best to ignore it.

The streets of Brooklyn are eerily silent besides the few garbage cans being rummaged through by raccoons or even some people. The few people that were still up stare at me, but I don't stop, I can't stop.

The slower I run, the more the memories start to return, the more the pain returns, the louder my thoughts get. I push my body harder, faster, to almost inhuman like speeds. I try to hold myself back as I feel my muscles screaming for a break. Though, the want to not hold back at all and run even faster than normally possible is strong, but my mind fights me on that. It fights me on both of those things.

Keep running!

No, don't! Stop!

Blend in, don't go faster!

Run faster! As fast as you know you can!

It's frustrating, and painful.

I begin to focus on my surroundings and realize I have no idea where I am. I slow to a stop before hunching over, ignoring the dull throbbing in my head that's beginning to form, hands on my knees in order to catch my breath. I could easily replenish my strength but I can't, I won't. Not after everything. Not while there is still a risk. I had finally found a place to settle, I'm not going to ruin that now.

I let out a loud sigh into the quiet night as I straighten up. My hand moves behind my head and allows my dirty-blond colored locks to fall out of the ponytail it was in. I begin to redo it when I hear a low rumble. I freeze, thinking I was encountering an earthquake, but the ground isn't trembling and it doesn't sound... natural. Small strands of my now loose blond hair brush across my face as the breeze gently tosses it around. The sound grows steadily louder and I begin the look around when I see it in the sky.

It looks like a star, about to collide with Earth. As it gets closer, I can't find the will to move away. It strikes, causing me to stumble to the ground. I raise up my hands to create an energy field around me for protection and notice nothing hits it. Lowering my hands, and ignoring the messy strands of hair across my face, I notice there's a some sort of bright beam.

"It almost looks like a rainbow." I whisper to myself as I stand and feel the raw power pulse within it.

The light suddenly fades, the blackness of the late night returning almost instantly. When my eyes grow accustomed to the dark, I notice a figure, shakily pushing themselves off the ground. They're no human, I'm certain of that. They radiate more power than anything I've ever felt in my life on Earth. It's weak, but still very much there. I can only stare at this person, my feet frozen to the ground.

When they stand up, their head falls back before they drag their hands down their face. By their side profile, I can tell it's a man. A man with what appears to be a cape, groaning in the middle of the street. He looks tall, strong, and has wavy long hair. I'm... intrigued by his sudden presence here, of all places.

Suddenly a bright golden light, with a bit of a greenish tint erupts from the center of his chest and cascades over his whole body. The cape disappears. I quietly gasp in awe. The power, I can feel it, I can feel it's uniqueness. However, the gasp wasn't quiet enough.

His head snaps towards me and I can see his fist clenching in the dark. Still, I stand there frozen.

But then I feel a presence behind me, a weak one of the man's.

A shadow maybe... I muse to myself.

He walks faster, with a purpose. He extends his arms creating two small but sharp daggers. He's still a bit away from me but I don't give him the chance to come much closer. Draining the power of the shadow behind me, and using what little strength I have from lack of sleep, I send an energy ball at him that glows a brilliant light blue before it knocks the man back several feet.

He lands with a thud and I don't give him the chance to attack again. Using the power lines running underneath the street, I teleport back to my room in my small home.

"Damn it!" I curse, flopping down on the bed, exhaustion weighing on my bones.

It's alright, I just need to lay low now... No one is up at this hour. No one saw... Hopefully they won't find me... 

.

.

.

A few hours later and I had finished eating breakfast. Turning on the early morning news, I drink my cup of coffee on the couch, relishing in the taste that touches my tongue and the warmth that flows down my throat. I lazily glance at the clock then look back at the TV.

Wait...

I look back over at the clock hanging on my wall and my eyes shoot open in alarm.

Crap! I'm going to be late for work!

I chug the rest of my drink, annoyed at the fact I can't savor it as I planned. Grabbing my keys and my purse, I dash outside. Let's just say I am pushing "on-time" when I get there. I throw open the door to the little café I work at and hurriedly weave my way through the customers.

"Eh, look who made it." One of my co-workers, Anna, says sarcastically. "Hey, everyone!" She calls back to our other co-workers. "Saddie's here!" I chuckle with her as this happens every-so-often... maybe like every other work day... yeah... I punch in and grab my apron before hurriedly tying it as I walk towards the front of the store.

She's still giggling to herself as I pull my hair back.

"Shut up Anna, I was on time." I say with a small smile.

"Barely." She chuckles.

I was about to reply when I happened to glance at the TV. I gasp, staggering back with a hand over my month. Everything else around me fades. On the news is an image of a Q-Ship flying over Manhattan, one of Thanos' many ships. Then the people running in a panic outside draws my attention.

Damn, why is it always New York?

"Everybody run!" Anna screams, causing a panic. I find myself running too, but towards the danger.

I push myself through the people, moving them slightly out of my way with my ability, but not significantly enough for them to tell. I look up towards the ship that I can now see for myself. Iron Man's suit flies over the horizon of panic and I grow suddenly nervous. I can't believe I'm going to do this... Without any warning, someone forcibly shoves my shoulder, causing me to lose balance. Before I hit the ground, strong arms wrap around me and drag me to the side of crazed people.

"Watch where you're going, mortal. Anyone of them would have trampled you. You're lucky I was there." An accented voice says dangerously close to my ear while slightly laced with amusement and what sounds like terror.

I feel it before I even look at him, the energy... it's the same as the man's... the one from last night.

I snap my head in the direction of his voice and come face to face with bright emerald green eyes. I push myself away with a force I don't usually use on normal humans.

But he's far from human.

He goes flying into the wall, then looks back at me, stunned as I regain my footing, before realization crosses his face. I don't take time to look at him more but instead continue towards the chaos, forcefully ripping off my apron in the process. I run into the middle of the street to find one of Thanos' Children I recognize as the bastard Ebony Maw, disappearing on his whirlwind of debris chasing after a red flying blur.

I feel for a current running under the city and use that to teleport closer to Maw. Running after them is easier said than done. Debris and abandoned cars create an obstacle course for me to weave around. Instead of doing that, I continually teleport near him. It's faster but still tiring to do.

I eventually notice Spider-Man swinging to reach the same red blur. Maw tries to catch the red mass using light posts and eventually snags it, though a man falls out. I gasp in horror, freezing, watching him fall when Spider-Man swings between the buildings keeping the other man from falling. Too many males in this fight... geez... You all need some estrogen!

I stop, only a couple hundred feet away when feel the hum of energy that surges through the ship. The transport beam activates, sucking the man in the air while the Sider-Man tries desperately to hold him back. Maw starts to use his powers to lift up the post Spider-Man is clinging onto. Snapping out of my observational trance, I conjure an energy ball and aim it at Maw. He doesn't notice until it's too late. He flies backwards from the force of the collision, but manages to remain conscious, to my annoyance. Using his powers to prevent his fall, he straightens up and turns to me with that haunting smirk of his.

Objects begin to fly at me and I create as many energy shields as I can, blocking their path. I create a bubble around myself before draining the currents underneath me to send out a shockwave. The flying objects are pushed away or are obliterated, windows are blown in and shatter, cars fly out of the street and into the buildings, stone and brick crack and crumble from the force. Maw goes flying back also, unable to block my ability.

Feeling slightly drained, I fall to my knee. I look up to see Maw picking himself up from the ground. He sends me a snarl before jumping into the beam as well.

Panic floods my system as he disappears and the beam stops. I groan as I push myself to my feet and begin to run after them, convincing myself I could still help them from here. An idea comes to me and I come to a stop before focusing on the feel of the Q-Ship. It's energy is so powerful, I'm terrified. I haven't practiced with my powers lately, I barely have enough energy to do this after what I've already done. I have no idea if this will even work. But I have to help, somehow... I have to try!

I have to help to make up for that day. The day that I couldn't save her. The day I lost the other half of me. The day my twin was ripped away from this life. And I have to make up for everything since, in someway.

I reach out to the power source, and begin to drain the ship. My hands shake as I do so, the energy feels too heavy. I should have gotten closer. But the ship begins to move, I-I c-can't...

More power is pushed through the ship, enough to move it through the atmosphere. It's getting farther... too far.

The world begins to spin and I collapse. Though, I feel someone's arms holding onto me, preventing me from hitting the hard pavement below.

Then the world goes black.

Chapter 2

[julies-butterflies]

I must admit, sometimes I do feel like a ye olden solider, sending letters to my beloved across the waves during wartime. Oh my dearest Lydia, I hope the kudos and comments crops have been plentiful this season. Your last letter left me weeping. Why must you put poor Reginald through such pain?

(I gotta admit, I still can't believe that I'm talking to you. I've been looking up to your work for so long...it just feels a bit surreal, even now! Glad you like hearing my ramblings! And that you liked my vampire prompt! Did not realize you'd write back when I sent that in. Look at us now, huh?)

(Speaking of prompts, I sent those jukebox and willex ones too. And I loved them both so so much, I shall scream about them more when it is not 2 am because I need sleep)

(Oh and the update of If I Was You!!! Amazing, Stellar, Incredible, Reggie, Carrie, Julie shenanigans is my new favorite thing, DID YOU JUST DOUBLE THE CHAPTER COUNT, and I'm like 90% sure Trevor is in deep trouble with a certain angry jazz ghost. Seriously loving it)

I actually do not remember what it was like to send in 1/5 asks, because I did not get a Tumblr until very reccently! I've always been a nerdy person, but Jatp is my first time being really in a fandom. You gotta do something new in quarantine, right?

Ah yes. Luke and Emily. To me, it just seems obvious that there's so much love between them. Even with all the pain. You get it. You put it down so eloquently.

As for what kind of stories I like to read...it seriously depends on my mood.

I like niche aus, passion projects. Stories where you can just feel the author's love for the world they're inventing. But I tend to lean towards cannonverse. I like ghost stories, it's what drew me to this show in the first place. And I love exploring that concept. (Being forever gone, and always the same...it's just fascinating to me)

Platonic goodness is just WONDERFUL for this show. I will read anything with cuddles. I am touched starved and these kiddos are too, and I will cry about them puppy piling every damn day. Plus there's just some much POTENTIAL for future friendships! I love ones where Flynn and Carrie get to interact with the boys as well. And 90s content, from before and after the orpheum, just hits hard.

I really wasn't expecting to get invested in the couples on this show, but something about them is moving to me. So I do love to read about them. Watching two queer kids who lived during incredibly important areas of queer history find love together after death really hit hard for me, and there's just something so bittersweet about a girl and ghost deciding to love each other for the little time they're given.

I love family dynamics too. Anything with Ray and his seven disaster children, the band and Trevor.... I think Julie and Emily is one of my favorite dynamics to explore. A girl who lost her mother and a mother who lost her son, both grieving but with one able to speak to the dead...it's just very powerful to me.

(And of course, Luke and Emily, but I figured you already knew that)

Mostly...I like seeing the messy stuff. The unexpected consequences, the baggage. I want to see the messy emotions, the grief and anger, the jealously, the disorientation. I look for those glass shards, that might be too sharp to ever be addressed on the show. Not even the big, monumental plot lines just... the harder pieces of life, the little moments that don't fit neatly into a nine episode arc.

I just want to see them live you know? Love, laughter and loss all mixed together.

(One of my all time favorite tropes is "found family gets broken apart by trauma, only to find each other again and come back stronger than ever." I feel like this explains a lot of my taste in fiction)

Thank you for the writing advice. Your words were very motivating. I am trying to begin! I got up the nerve to start working on a little piece. Who knows if it will go anywhere. But it's been nice, to finally put some words on the page.

The POTC au is so freaking good man. The character dynamics are just on FIRE. Everything is broken and messy and the relationships genuinely tug at my heartstrings. It's such a fascinating story. Highly recommend, even with the cliff hangers.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET PAWPRINTER? Man oh man I love all her work. The wheelies art and steals universe is freaking amazing, not an avacado had me in tears (of laughter, till things got surprisingly sad). And All that Remains...slow burn Willex perfection. Jedi Alex and Pilot Willie have my HEART.

I don't think I've read firefall and weneedglitter (or if I have, I'm just not connecting the names to their pieces. I don't always remember author names. it's a problem). I will go look for them though! Cannot wait!

For more recs, I recently binge read We Found Wonderland. I was not mentally prepared for the sheer amount of feelings that gave me. Highly recommend, if you ever want an emotional rollercoaster with an incredibly satisfying end.

Going on to more serious subjects...I'm sorry your family doesn't see your grief for what it is: honest. Better to feel everything quietly, than make it an easily understadnable performance. Fake grief is so easy to spot.

I think of that scene from "Forever," when Buffy breaks down and tells Dawn that she has to keep busy, because if she stops, it means Joyce is really gone. There's a lot of truth there.

On a tangent here but.. there was a very long period in my life when I was told the ways I expressed my emotions were "incorrect". And I found that sometimes, no matter how you show your emotions, you'll always be criticized. Numbness can be called disinterest, but sobbing can be called attention-seeking too. Too big, too small: that jury was impossible to please This may not apply in your situation but...it's okay to feel however you can. It's the only think you can do, really.

As I've said before, Grief is such an odd trickster.

Don't you ever get tired of missing people... This past year, I've been so weary of grief. Sometimes it can be so sharp, but it's that dull ache. That ball and chain, no longer cutting through your skin, but rubbing it raw, weighing you down.

And people don't like to talk about that part, because it's long and tiresome, but oh, is it there. I find it hard to talk about my grief, because sometimes there's just so much of it. I could drown in it, and that fear keeps me from looking to close. To incorrectly quote Jane Austin: "If I missed you a little less, I might be able to talk about it more."

(Sometimes it's faceable. But sometimes you just can't bear it. And that's okay.)

But what you wrote in that eulogy...the love is there. It's in every word you write. I cried reading that section. I feel honored once again to see some of your jagged pieces. You're sharing your heart, and there's just so much love.

In the wise words of an author I know, "Love is like the snow Reggie. It never goes away."

And don't worry, I'm always with you.

Sending Love,

-LydiaStan7845 (aka Vampire Anon)

So...that Reggie and Nicky prompt

my god

my GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I think it's safe to say congrats, you've officially destroyed me! I was not prepared for that at ALL. I should know better by now I guess.

I can't get over that even though they all take place in very different universe, all your stories just feel so connected! The way this talked about those headphones, which you mentioned in the first chapter of Kill Your Heroes...it's just so cool. All the characterization and backstory is just so well thought out, and it genuinely blows my mind.

I didn't think I could love Nicky Peters more. I was wrong. The way you write about him...even though you never go into exactly what happened to him after Reggie's death, you can just feel how much it's shapped him as a person. And the trauma around his father, and how he fears becoming like that, was just so beautifully written. He's just so lovable and flawed and trying so damn hard and you made my heart ache for him. Again.

You always take these genuinely crazy situations and...you just make them feel so real. I love you explore the strains such a revelation would put on Nicky's own life, it just makes everything so compellingly messy. It seriously feel like I was watching a real-life account of a family trying to deal with such a massive complication.

That porch scene had me in tears both times I read it. Reggie's just always a big brother, even though Nicky is more than twice his age now. My heart was shattered, and then you slowly mended it, piece by piece. And for absolutely no reason at all, you wouldn't happen to have a reference for the porch, would you?

Just wow. Hope you're doing well. Sending love and applause

-Vampire Anon

i’m not even gonna reply, but i want these documented... on my blog... for posterity.  ( for any curious onlookers, i’m dating this anon now!! )

[shoujocentral]

Symphogear S1- Now this is MY kind of anime!

Every once and awhile when I'd log onto Twitter, I'd see people saying "watch Symphogear" accompanied by images from the show. From looking at the pictures, I assumed it was just another magical girl show like Precure but with less magic and more... techno. Oh, and apparently they sing while they fight? Sounds kinda dumb...

Buuuut... I have heard that there's some yuri content? Maybe I'll give it a try. I mean, I'm always open to watching new stuff, even if it's just a silly little kid's show 😅

😳

Well........ color me hooked.

I have to say, this show is not at all what I was expecting in the best possible way. It feels a lot more like a Shounen action show along the lines of Fullmetal Alchemist or Neon Genesis Evangelion than a Magical Girl show (if that's even what it's supposed to be). Today, I'm going to be giving my first impressions of Senki Zesshou Symphogear season 1, which will be spoiler free for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Plot:

So what is Senki Zesshou Symphogear about?

In the not too distant future (next Sunday A.D.), Japan is under attack by monsters known as Noises, the likes of which cannot be killed by military weapons. The only thing that can kill them are girls clad in weaponized armor known as Gears, which is activated and powered by singing catchy techno-pop music.

One day, a girl named Hibiki Tachibana is caught in the middle of a battle, and one of the Gear users, Kanade Amou, sacrifices herself to save her. Two years later, Hibiki discovers that a piece of Kanade's Gear was embedded in her chest during the fight, giving her access to the Gear's powers. Hibiki is recruited by the Disaster Relief Squadron, the organization that created the Gears, to help defend Japan from the Noises.

However, Kanade's former girlfriend partner, Tsubasa Kazanari, sees Hibiki as nothing more than an obnoxious, naive girl trying to be Kanade's replacement. Will the two learn to work together, defeat the Noises, and possibly uncover a deeper plot to all the attacks?

Symphogear's plot might not be the most original thing ever; evil monsters attack, teenage girls transform into superpowered warriors to fight them, evil mastermind tries to take over the world, etc. But what makes this story stand out is it's unique approach to the fights. Having the Gears be powered by music, resulting in every fight being accompanied by a song, is either a genius way to amplify the fights, or a genius way for the producers to sell a techno soundtrack.

I was worried that the constant use of insert songs would become repetitive and annoying, but on the contrary, they heightened my enjoyment! The fights in Symphogear are easily my favorite part of the show: fast-paced, badass powers, lots of screaming, and downright brutal at times! Hibiki has officially joined the ranks of my all-time favorite battle cries, right up there with Goku from DBZ and Souma from Kannazuki no Miko.

If there was one thing I had to nitpick, it would be that most of the fights take away the credibility of the Noises. They're supposed to be this terrifying threat to Japan that can't be harmed by the military, but as soon as the Gear wielders show up, they're reduced to nothing more than cannon fodder as Hibiki and her comrades seem to waltz through them without breaking a sweat.

Thankfully, the versus matches between Gear wielders are much more balanced. My favorite has to be Hibiki vs Chris (see above), but then again, any fight with Chris is an absolute win!

Characters:

Hibiki Tachibana

Hibiki is your typical genki girl protagonist: optimistic, hyperactive, naive, and pure. What makes her a more compelling hero, however, is her slow growth into becoming a strong Gear wielder. Unlike most magical girl protagonists, who seem to master their powers after one line of "EH?! What just happened to me?!", Hibiki takes time to learn how to fight. She starts out with the mindset that she has to be Kanade's replacement and thus tries to fight just like her. However, she eventually comes to invent her own battle tactics that work much more in her favor. Mainly, punching the everloving shit out of everything in sight.

Hibiki is, in my opinion, a flat character done right. She doesn't go through any personal growth or development throughout the show (learning to fight doesn't count), but her belief that all humans can get along if they communicate and desire to protect people just because she wants to is the cause for most of the change in the people around her. The world is in a dark place, and Hibiki is the light. She doesn't need to change, because she's exactly what the world needs.

Tsubasa Kazanari

From what I've learned, Tsubasa is a favorite amongst Symphogear fans. Me personally, though, I have a few issues with her character. Now, I have nothing against brooding, damaged characters. In fact, Tsubasa's recovery from Kanade's death and learning to cherish her own life was incredibly engaging... for the most part. Sorry, but I can only take so much edge. Her constant repitition of "I am a sword, I exist only to fight" grew old after the first 10 or so times.

Also, while I love her overall development, I feel that her acceptance of Hibiki was a little rushed. For the first four episodes, she hates Hibiki for carrying Kanade's Gear to the point where she tries to fight her to the death. Then, after another fight sends her into a coma, she has a (extremely gay) hallucination of Kanade telling her to get over herself. Next episode, she's treating Hibiki as if they've been friends the whole time. Did I miss something? Did Hibiki even apologize for saying she wanted to replace Kanade? Did Tsubasa apologize for trying to shishkabob her?!

Development aside, her fighting style is awesome and unique, and leads to the best choreography in the show. Hopefully as I watch more seasons, my opinion of her will improve.

Chris Yukine

Best Girl. No questions. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. Deal with it.

Jokes aside, Chris is my favorite character of the show bar none. Maybe I just have a weakness for evil-turned-good characters, but I adored her "don't take no shit from nobody" attitude and her soft side emerging as the show progressed. And let me tell you, Tsubasa would have no right to brood if she knew what Chris went through as a child. I won't give anything away, but just a few brief images and harsh words were enough get the picture across and tug at my heartstrings.

She also had my favorite Gear and fighting style in the show. If there's one thing that always gets my blood pumping, it's gatling guns and an endless supply of missiles. Seriously, I could watch this girl fight for hours.

Kanade Amou

A moment of silence, ladies and gentlemen.

......

Kanade would be my favorite character if we had gotten more of her. But alas, she has to die in the very first episode. DAMN YOU, PLOT!!!

Even though we get very little of Kanade, she makes it her mission to leave a lasting impression. Her sacrifice at the beginning sets the tone for the rest of the show, and her flashback is the best of the bunch. I got hard chills when she transformed for the first time. Let's just say she's psychotic in all the right ways.

Kanade died for our sins. Remember that... 🙏

Finé

Our main villain of the show. That's it. There's really nothing much else to her. She's cruel, manipulative, and powerful beyond belief, as most big bosses of these kinds of shows are. She was honestly my least favorite part of the show.

Fine's motivation is incredibly confusing on first watch. I had to go back to pause and read the subtitles multiple times to understand her backstory, but maybe that's my fault for being a slow reader. On the other hand, the explanation as to who she is and why she's so powerful comes right out of nowhere and doesn't seem to connect to anything the story had been building up to that point. Also, by the time I understood her motivation and actually found it a little intriguing, she dropped the dreaded "I'm going to take over the world" line. Aaaaand.... all my interest just went out the window.

There is a twist involving her connection to a certain other character in the show that I genuinely didn't see coming, but in the end, it wasn't nearly enough to make up for her shortcomings.

Miku Kohinata

God bless this little angel. Miku is a precious cinnamon roll who must be protected at all costs. Thankfully, Hibiki's got it covered 👍

Words cannot express how much I love this girl. She may be only a supporting role for the time being, but good lord, does she support! It always broke my heart whenever she tried to spend time with Hibiki or talk to her, but the Disaster Relief Squad kept pulling them apart. I know DRS is classified, but Miku deserves better than to have secrets kept from her! Life sucks when your girlfriend best friend is a superhero...

Well, that was a mouthful. There's a lot more characters in this show, but I don't really have much to say about them. However, while we're on the subject of Miku, let's move on to the reason I checked this show out in the first place, and the reason I'm sure most of you read my stuff.

Yuri:

No sooner did I finish this show did I start looking up HibiMiku fanart 😍

I was expecting a fair dosage of yuribait going into Symphogear, but mother of all that is gay, did I get an overdose!

First and foremost, the main ship: HibiMiku. These two are dating. Nothing anyone says will change my mind. They compliment each other perfectly, with Hibiki's energy and Miku's sweetness... HHNNNGGH! IT'S TOO PRECIOUS! I sincerely hope these two get more time together in the next few seasons. Now if only they'd stop with the damn F word...... 😡

Next up, TsubaKana. This one seems more like it was one-sided feelings on Tsubasa's part, judging by how dedicated Kanade was to fighting the Noise. Regardless, you don't just lose all sense of your humanity and self-worth after your "partner" dies. And all that hardcore blushing in the flashbacks and naked cuddling dream sequences... nah, Tsubasa was hella hot for Kanade. Sadly, our lord and savior was taken from Ms. Brooding too soon.

Finally, there's Ryoko Sakurai, the DRS's head scientist. She was initially hinted to be gay, what with her being all too eager to have Hibiki undress and wanting to "pop her cherry" (yes, an adult said that to a 15 year-old). However, after a certain conversation occurred, it seemed more like she was straight or at least bisexual, if all that dirty talk wasn't just teasing.

I've heard future seasons introduce more potential couples, so I'm keeping my eyes open and my yuri goggles on tight 😋

Conclusion:

I enjoyed the first season of Senki Zesshou Symphogear through and through. As someone who enjoyed Akanesasu Shoujo and Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka, I have a soft spot for shows about badass girls kicking monster ass and unleashing their inner yuri. Overall though, I think Symphogear might be my favorite of the bunch so far. It has its fair share of flaws, sure, but I think its positives outweigh the negatives by a long shot. If I got this much enjoyment out of the first season, I cannot wait to see what the following seasons have to offer!

Symphogear delivers a fun, action-packed story with colorful characters, kickass fight scenes, head-banging music and plenty of yuri content. Anyone who loves Magical Girls or Shounen battle shows needs to check it out!

Rating: 8/10

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go binge Symphogear G. See you next time, my fellow yuri lovers!

[gretavanfleetlife]

Only Time Will Tell:

Chapter 8

AN: Hey guys, it’s sooo good to be back!😊Sorry for such a long wait for this chapter, I was on vacation. Anyway y’all are gonna need to pace yourself with this one, it’s double the usual chapter length and so much is happening!!! Love you all, thank you so much for your support, enjoy!💛🌻

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 4,700 words (lol oops)

Officially, it's been exactly one month since your best friends left Frankenmuth. You steadily raise a thick black pen up to your calendar and mark an 'X' through today's date. Your eyes skim through the rest of the month, landing on a date with a large red circle around it. You stare at it for a moment before gazing back at today's date and lifting your finger to count the number of days between today and the circled date. 12. You count again, hoping you counted one more than you should have. Still 12.

You toss the pen onto your desk and turn to skim through your record collection. Your fingers land on Bob Dylan, and you give a loose smile at the esteemed man on the album cover, who smiles back. Placing the needle carefully onto the record, you then cross your bedroom and collapse into a comfy, blue beanbag chair. You close your eyes and listen to the record spin. You remain perfectly still throughout the entire record, humming along to the dreamlike tune. You only open your eyes when you hear the record stop, the needle lifting itself upwards and returning to its resting place. You let out a heavy sigh.

"God bless Bob Dylan, a true legend," you smile, repeating Josh's timeless saying. You miss him terribly. You begin to wonder if he's been thinking about you as much as you've been thinking about him.

You lean your head back and stare mindlessly out the window. You consider sending Sam a text but quickly decide against it. Since he's left, you've been texting Sam almost every day, earning a harsh wave of guilt every time that you did.

The only other person you wanted to talk to more than Sam was Josh, but that wasn't going very smoothly either. You've tried calling Josh multiple times throughout the month, but each time the phone would loudly ring until you were eventually sent to voicemail.

You shift uncomfortably on the beanbag chair beneath you, feeling complete boredom rain over you. You've been bored all month without them, you just didn't know what to do. Only two weeks to go, less than that even. You know you'll survive for 12 more days, but their arrival seems to be taking an eternity.

You decide to try and call Josh again, dialing his number effortlessly. You listen eagerly to the phone ring against your ear. With each ring, your hope of an answer increasingly fades. The last ring chimes brightly as the phone gives a final effort to reach Josh before you're sent to his voicemail. You listen to you and Josh recite his voicemail that you recorded together years ago. A faint smile tugs at your lips, hearing Josh's joyful voice as well as your own encouraging you to leave a message at the tone. You sink further back into the chair with a sigh. He probably just doesn't have his phone with him again, as usual. Josh never likes to carry his phone with him, you recall optimistically.

You decide to try calling again in a few days, tossing your phone lazily onto the bed across your room. You try to remember a time before now that you've gone this long without talking to Josh, but you can't seem to think of one.

You miss him terribly. You miss watching the adorable pair of dimples appear on his face when you make him smile, how his eyebrows furrow when he concentrates on something, and how he always looks after you and puts you before himself.

You close your eyes, hoping with your entire heart that he's not ignoring you on purpose as you drift slowly out of consciousness.

-Sam's POV-

It's been a month since the last time I saw y/n, the last time I talked to her in person, and the last time I touched her. I'm certain that I would have gone crazy by now if it hadn't have been for our consistent texting. The one thing that keeps me from wanting to give up on the tour entirely and go back home is the promise she made me. She said she's gonna wait for me, and as long as that's true I'm willing to wait a little longer. I've been waiting for her for years, and although it still hurts, another couple weeks won't kill me.

I raise the bottle to my lips and take another long sip of beer, gazing up at my brother seated across from me. I need to know what's going on with Josh. The way he speaks to me is different now, although I can barely even explain it. He doesn't look me in the eyes as much when he talks to me, and our conversations are often much shorter than normal. When we're not recording or performing, he makes up excuses to be away from me, and they're fairly easy to see through. I've brought it up to Jake, and he seems to know much more about what's going on with Josh than I do. It's possible that Josh may have told him all about whatever's got him in this mood, although I have a pretty strong gut feeling it's just their twin telepathy thing. Either way, Jake hasn't told me why Josh is acting so weird, he's only told me not to bother him about it.

The four of us sit in our new trailer in peaceful silence. Josh and Danny share one couch while Jake and I lounge on the one opposite them. Josh is seemingly very busy writing music, scribbling down lyrics while he concentrates on the notebook gripped tightly in his hands. Jake downs the last of his beer with one swift raise of his arm. He stands up rather unsteadily from his seat beside me and announces that he's going to bed. Danny seconds Jake's actions, saying a quick goodnight and following him to the bedroom in the back of the cramped trailer. Calling it a bedroom is a stretch by any means, though, since its really only four pullout couches divided from the rest of the trailer by a thin curtain. Danny slides the curtain closed behind him and soon you hear both boys flop heavily onto their beds.

I steal a glance at my brother. Josh doesn't seem to notice that he's alone with me, or if he does he doesn't care. His focus doesn't break as he thoughtfully pours lyrics onto the busy page, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. I relax backward into the soft couch, quietly taking another long sip of my beverage.

Another ten minutes go by and there hasn't been a single word exchanged between Josh and I. Normally, this is a scenario I have only ever dreamed of, causing me to feel slightly uneasy in the somewhat tense silence. I decide to let him finish writing without interruption, not wanting to distract him from writing a potential masterpiece.

Gentle snoring cuts through the silence of the trailer, coming from behind the far curtain. I can tell with complete certainty that the noise is coming from both Danny and Jake.

Looking up at Josh, I watch as he gently closes his notebook and places it on the coffee table along with his dull pencil. He leans back and sinks into the couch, lifting a hand to his mouth and softly tracing his lips in a steady contemplation. Josh's phone suddenly begins to vibrate on the small wooden table in front of him. His face falls into a frown as he leans forward to read the name of who is calling him this late at night. I watch his face fall as he reaches out, grabbing the phone and staring at it. Josh hesitates for a moment, and then slowly taps the screen. The vibrating stops and he shoves the phone quickly into his pocket. He leans further back into the couch and crosses his arms.

"Who was that?" I ask quietly, breaking through his dazed thoughts as he raises his head in attention.

"Mm?” he grunts, keeping his arms crossed while his fingers continue to gently trace over his lips.

"Who was that calling you," I repeat. Josh shakes his head and looks downwards.

"Oh just y/n, I'll call her back later," he says unconvincingly. He begins to stand up but I cut him off.

"Josh, can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask hopefully. Josh slowly descends back into his seat.

"Uh, sure I guess. What about?" he shrugs. I place my beer bottle on the coffee table next to the tattered notebook and lean forward, resting my arms on my knees.

"Well, first I wanted to know why you've been ignoring all of y/n's calls," I wonder, noticing Josh's shoulders tense in anticipation, "It's been, what, a month now? Have you talked to her once since we left home?" Josh stares steadily into my eyes, seemingly hesitant on how to answer.

"N-no, I haven't," Josh stumbles, glancing at the floor. His eyebrows furrow as his gaze returns to meet mine, "but that's really not any of your business, Sam. I strongly advise you to leave this alone." I give a small laugh, unable to prevent it from escaping my lips.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure whatever's going on is my business too. Listen, Josh, I just want to help you get over whatever this is," I say, motioning to him, "that's all."

"Get over what?" he prods, crossing his arms and leaning back.

"Well for starters, you're ignoring your best friend, avoiding your brothers, including Danny, and for a month you haven't held a conversation with me that's lasted more than five minutes. Should I keep going? Or do you have an idea of what's going on now," I ask sarcastically, frustrated at how difficult Josh is being. He knows damn well how different he's been acting. God, Josh can be so fucking annoying sometimes.

"You have no fucking clue what you're talking about Sam," Josh spits, pointing at me angrily.

"Oh yeah? Enlighten me," I respond crossing my arms and trying my best to appear relaxed. Growing up with Josh has taught me exactly how to get under his skin just enough to make him confess anything.

"Alright fine Sam, if this is what you want, then here it is," he begins, his eyes narrowing and the muscles in his jaw clenching. My tactics seem to have worked, as I notice Josh speaking faster, concentrating less on what is actually coming out of his mouth. However, what I hear next disrupts my relaxed facade.

"Before we left, y/n told me all about how she feels towards you. Obviously, she's had a rough past dating experience so I didn't want her to get hurt again. Especially by some ignorant prick who's about to leave on tour for a month and a half," Josh says firmly, his voice raising the more he proceeds. I sit unable to move, shocked at the words that come flying out his mouth. "So I told her," Josh pauses dramatically. The way Josh edges me on makes me furious, but I manage to hold back my raging emotions.

"Told her what?" I ask, knowing it's what he wanted to hear, but feeling too eager to refrain from asking.

"I told her not go after you," he admits. I feel my face turn hot with anger, "in fact I asked her to promise me that she wouldn't go near y-"

"And what did she say?" I cut him off. His face visibly saddens.

"She agreed to the promise," he remembers quietly, as my heart sinks low into my chest. Everything makes so much more sense now, but Josh isn't finished. "And she broke that promise, but you already knew that," he says, shaking his head as I lower my gaze to the floor. Josh was talking much more quietly now, the former anger replaced by sadness as he recalled what had happened. "And that isn't even the worst part," he continues, seemingly lost in the memory to care whether he was telling me too much, "what hurt the most was when she told me nothing happened with you, again, and again, and again, right to my face. It hurt me. It really did," he stares across the room at me, "is that what you wanted to hear?" I swallow hard, not wanting to meet his gaze. He runs his hands across his face with a heavy sigh. Josh attempts to stand up but I cut him off again.

"Josh wait, hear me out," he pauses briefly before returning to his seat across from me. I meet his sad eyes with my own, "listen, you know me, better than most people. Do you really think that I would treat y/n like shit?" I ask, silently hoping that he'll say no. Josh opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He quietly shakes his head, and I know that I've gotten through to him.

"Look, I'm sorry that had to happen. You can hate us both for being together, or try and break us apart," I continue, "but I love her, and that's all I'm really concerned about."

-Time skip: 12 days later-

-Y/N's POV-

You wake up with a start, excitedly checking your phone for the time and reading 10:53 a.m. glare brightly back. You went to bed extremely late last night, unable to fall asleep due to the anticipation of your friends coming home the next day. You throw your comforter off of you and swing your legs around to sit up on the side of your bed. You stretch happily and let out a loud yawn. You decide to make a trip to the record store to buy some 'welcome home' presents for the boys. You change quickly and hurry outside toward the black pickup truck parked in your driveway. You hop in the vehicle and back out of the driveway, turning on the radio to your favorite rock and roll station. You hear the ending of 'Sympathy for the Devil' fill the silence of your car. Once the song finishes, the upbeat voice of the radio announcer fills the car.

"Alright, Frankenmuth, up next is a new song by a local and upcoming rock and roll band, Greta Van Fleet!" You gasp loudly as a familiar guitar riff fills the air. You crank up the volume as loud as the speakers will allow, singing along loudly to 'Highway Tune' as you speed down the gravel road and enter the town. A huge smile graces your face as you pull into the driveway of Siren Records. You park the car but remain seated until the song finishes, giving an excited squeal as the song fades to silence and the radio announcer returns.

You happily hop out of your car and enter the record store with a new skip in your step. Your mind feels extremely crowded with everything that's going on, but you still know exactly what you want to get for each of the boys. You're as familiar with their individual music tastes as you are with the back of your hand. Searching through the endless bins of records, you find your gift for Josh with ease, proudly picking up Nashville Skyline by Bob Dylan and tucking it under your armpit. As you continue to skim through the dusty records, you feel a vibration in your pocket. You reach for your phone and see who's calling you.

"Oh my god," you mumble, your eyes wide with anticipation. You fumble with your phone, almost dropping it as you accept the call and raise it quickly to your ear, "hello?"

"Hey y/n, it's me," Josh answers, his voice sounding deep and raspy through the phone. You've missed the sound of his voice the most, his greeting bringing a genuine smile to your face.

"Hey, Josh-" you begin before abruptly cutting yourself off. By habit, you almost called him 'Joshie', which you know would not have gone well judging by the last conversation the two of you had. He clears his throat into the phone, pausing for a moment. You grip the phone tightly as you hear muffled mumbling in the background.

"So I just wanted to ask how it's going, uh, back home," he wonders aloud.

Placing down your record momentarily, you make your way outside of the record store so as not to bother anyone inside with your private conversation.

"Well, it was incredibly boring without you," you smile, "Frankenmuth has never been so quiet." Josh laughs into the phone, and you feel your heart begin to beat faster. The sound is like music to your ears, you've missed making him laugh. You picture familiar dimples gracing his cheeks as his mouth tugs into a wide grin.

"That sounds dreadful," he chuckles.

"It was," you agree, "so when do you think you'll be home?"

"Around another half hour or so, I'd say," he estimates, making your heart flutter at the thought of their arrival.

"Oh that's fantastic, see you then!" you smile, feeling exhilarated and over the moon with joy, "bye Joshie!" You clap a hand over your mouth as you realize what you just called him. You close your eyes, bracing yourself for his response.

"Bye y/n, see you soon," he laughs before hanging up. You let out a huge sigh of relief as you shove your phone back into your pocket, thankful that he didn't scold you for using his nickname again.

A hand taps you on the shoulder, breaking you out of your daze as you turn around to see who it is. Your eyes gaze upward to meet Ethan's, as you force a smile onto your face. You were hoping to avoid him until school started up again, not wanting to interact with him after watching him make out with another girl at Josh's party.

"Hey! It's good to see you," you lie. Being friendly seems to be the quickest way through this conversation.

"Yeah, you look great," he says, visibly checking you out as you cross your arms in front of yourself in a weak attempt to stop his wandering eyes.

"Thanks," you say, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. You go on to talk about what you both have been doing this summer for a while longer, as you patiently wait for your conversation to end.

"So, uh," Ethan proceeds warily, "did you happen to get my text? I sent it to you a while ago, like, a couple of days after Josh's party or something like that." You frown and shake your head.

"No, I must not have seen it. Sorry about that, I'm just never really on my phone that much," you reply apologetically. That was a total lie as well, as you had definitely noticed that you had received a few texts from him a while back, but decided not to answer.

"No worries, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Ethan continues, taking a step towards you. He's standing so close to you now that you can almost feel his breath. You look down at your feet to refrain from rolling your eyes at his comment. You feel his hand lightly lift your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. He quickly closes the gap between you and leans in to kiss you. Before his lips can meet yours, you swiftly take a step away from him, stumbling backward. You weren't about to break another promise, the last one was bad enough. You look up at him with a look of insincere apology.

"I-I'm in a relationship," you hear yourself say. It seems like the easiest way out of the situation. His eyebrows furrow as he glares at you with confusion.

"Oh," Ethan sighs, "with who?" Your eyes widen and your heart begins to beat faster.

"Sam Kiszka," you blurt, feeling a familiar blush creep onto your cheeks as you realize what you just said out loud. You watch Ethan roll his eyes.

"Come on, really?" You frown and furrow your eyebrows as he shakes his head, "I'm way better looking than that guy." A sharp laugh escapes your lips as you smile up at him.

"Yeah right, have you seen Sam?" you say as Ethan's face falls, "you wish you even came close," you scoff, turning on your heel and walking back towards the record store. You swing open the door with a smirk plastered onto your face, finding where you left your Bob Dylan record and resuming your search.

After a few more minutes of skimming through the dusty bins, you settle on The Beatles' Revolver for Danny, Hot Rocks by the Rolling Stones for Jake, and none other than Van Morrison's Moondance for Sam.

After you pay, you hop back into your truck and check the time. The boys should arrive home any minute now, so you begin to drive back towards the Kiszka house. You want to see them as soon as you can, so you don't waste any time as you quickly speed down the dusty dirt road.

Pulling into their driveway, you park your car and wait for their van to drive in beside you.

Another ten minutes pass, feeling like an eternity before you see their van roll up to the house and park beside you. You jump out of your truck and run over to theirs just as Josh steps out of the passenger seat. In the moment, you forget all about your fight, immersed only in feeling ecstatic that Josh is home. You rush towards him and throw your arms around his neck. He doesn't hesitate to hug you tightly against himself in return.

"I missed you so fucking much," you say into his shirt as he grasps you tighter.

"I missed you too," he replies, pulling back while keeping his hands on your shoulders, "but don't think I'm not still pissed," he says with a smirk.

"I know, talk later, okay?" you ask hopefully. Josh smiles and nods.

"Okay," he agrees.

"What are we, chopped liver?" Jake says, causing you to tear your eyes away from Josh and walk towards him with your arms outstretched. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a hug, rubbing your back gently.

"You didn't forget about me, did you?" he whispers in your ear, hugging you close to him.

"Of course not, are you kidding?" you grin. Suddenly, your hug is disrupted by Danny pushing Jake away from you.

"What the fuck," Jake chuckles, as Danny wraps his muscular arms around you tightly, forcing you into a soft hug.

"Shut up, it's my turn," he answers loudly as you laugh against his chest.

"It's good to see you, y/n," Danny beams as you hug him tighter in response.

He lets go of you and you turn towards Sam. Your heart flutters as you stare at him, admiring his seemingly flawless features. He looks even better than you remember as he closes the distance between you.

"Hey," he says awkwardly as you wrap your arms around his torso. He hugs you back, enveloping his arms around you and nuzzling his face into your neck. You close your eyes and smile into his chest in a state of total serenity.

"I missed this," he mutters quietly into your neck, too muffled for anyone but you to hear it, "I missed you." You feel butterflies swarm in your stomach and your heart skip a beat.

"I missed you too," letting out a content sigh and pulling out of the hug. You gaze at each other for a moment, both of you admiring the other. You hear Jake clear his throat, causing you to tear your eyes away from Sam and look towards the abrupt noise. The three boys were standing a few feet away, smiling at you and Sam. You blush, trying to think of a way to divert their focus from you two.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I have presents!" you say enthusiastically, heading to your car to hide your rosy cheeks. The boys exchange low murmurs of excitement in anticipation of receiving their gifts. You grab the records from your car and skip back to the group. You hand them out and smile as you watch each of their faces light up.

"No way!" Danny says as you hand him his. "Alright I've gotta hear this," he says as he gives you a quick hug and rushes inside to find a record player.

"Me too," Jake and Sam say in unison, hurrying to catch up with Danny.

"Thanks, y/n!" Sam calls while he runs into the house with Jake. You laugh at their reactions as you realize you're left alone Josh. You glance over at him, watching him study the album cover of his new record.

"You like it?" you ask as he quickly looks up at you with a wide grin, soft dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"You know I love it, thank you y/n," he says, but his smile soon fades, "can we go somewhere to talk?" You nervously scratch the back of your head.

"Of course," you reply. You follow him as he leads you to the backyard, each of you taking a seat on the porch steps overlooking the forest beyond their property. At first, neither of you speak, both of you gazing thoughtfully at each other not seeming to know where to begin. You both decide to break the silence and begin to speak at the same time. You apologize and Josh gives a small laugh.

“You can go first,” he speaks gently. You suck in a sharp breath and begin to explain yourself to him, apologizing every now and then. You tell him that although you may not deserve his trust, you are going to be nothing but honest with him from now on. Fiddling with your hands, you go on to say that you still like Sam, but you’re unsure what that would mean for everyone else.

You speak for a long time, words that you longed to say while Josh was gone pouring out of you without restraint. Josh stares attentively at you the whole time, listening to everything you have to say without interrupting. You finish speaking with a sigh and look up at him nervously. He smirks at you.

“Are you done?” he asks gently. You nod, swallowing sharply as he raises a hand to his face, tracing over his lips with his fingers softly. He gives a small sigh and looks to the ground, seemingly deciding where to begin.

“While we were gone, I talked to Sam,” he says steadily. Your heartbeat quickens and you anxiously bite your lip. “I gave it a lot of thought, and I realized that I haven’t been completely fair. I didn’t realize how much you mean to him,” he continues, your heart fluttering in your chest, “and come to think of it, if I loved someone as much as Sam loves you, I might have done the same thing.” He pauses, looking up at you with a small smile.

“And although I don’t think I’ll ever understand how you can find that freak appealing,” he says, causing both of you to laugh, “I do know that he’ll treat you right,” he smiles. You stand and move towards him, reaching down to him and hugging him tightly.

“I love you so much, thank you, Josh,” you grin, your eyes shut tightly as he accepts your embrace. He stands with you as you pull away, turning to walk with him back to the house.

“As long as you’re happy,” he grins at you, throwing his arm loosely over your shoulder. “But if you ever lie to me again-" he laughs, wagging a finger at you as you cut him off.

“I promise I won’t, under one condition,” you smirk, causing him to stop walking and look down at you with confusion.

“And what’s that?” he asks.

“I get to call you Joshie,” you say as he laughs loudly, mimicking your wide smile.

“Deal.”

Taglist: @aliensforleaders @kiszkaboi @greta-gvf @rogers-wristbands @obetrol-and-cocktails @strawberry-fieldsssss @gretavanqueen @spngvf @goodoldfashionedqueen @mutantpanda54 @allons-ytomyworld @diggrycedric @sammysgirll @rogerinascigarette @thaliamessi @pazmonkey @yesmynameisbelle @a-queen-and-her-throne @grapesarepurple @cherrrywitch @edgeofdrkness @livcappolella @ohsososophisticatedd @lunautica13 @oddolive @daydreamqueenjaycee @jenjenhill @neonslushies @fruityfreddie @izmo16 @gwilsbri @safarimama @thicchardy @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @brian-mays-curls @literally-allidoislistentomusic 💕love you all💕

[duhragonball]

Nanwum Update: 58,182

I am really, really sick of writing.

I decided to push on and keep writing after I hit 50k on Day 18. My only real goal for the overrun was to update my word count for thirty straight days, and maybe hit 60k before the end of the month. I think I'll be able to pull it off, but I am not having a fun time.

To put it another way, I've got just 1,818 words to go. That should be a day's work, at most. I've got three days to make that happen, and really, I have to spread that out across three days, or I won't get my nifty 30-days-in-a-row badge. This should be easy, and it would have been two weeks ago, but now it feels like pulling teeth.

Also, the overrun thing really messes with my sense of motivation. I don't really have to do any of this, and yet I do. I can't work ahead because I have to write each day, but I also can't just slack off, because I want the 60k. It feels a lot like burn out, and I don't think I actually am burned out, but it's hard to tell.

The words are getting written down, but I feel really indecisive about things. I went to bed early last night so I could wake up early and write before work, and then I barely got any writing done. I was too wound up about a scene, trying to figure out how it should go, what everyone should look like, whether or not certain information should already be revealed. Naturally, I had to ponder whether I should just scrap the scene and start over.

That's the one great strength of using word count for motivation, though. It teaches you to keep everything. There's no way in hell I'm going to throw out anything I've written since 11/19, because I absolutely refuse to give up any of the ground I've gained towards 60k. This may be the hardest 9800 words I've ever written, but they're going in the damn fic. I don't care what happens.

Mostly, these past few days have validated my Nanowrimo strategy of building an early lead and reaching 50k before Thanksgiving. I think pushing past my limits has been rewarding, but I also see that slacking off in early November would be a huge blunder for me. I'm sure other people can use that to their advantage somehow, but not me. I'd hate to be this close to Day 30 without being finished.