#but if I die without knowing what Reya's plan was

[grettysart]

Day 18 - Crown

[caeliatus]

Ava asks, standing next to the greatest divine being to ever grace the Universe, “She loves me?”

She doesn’t have to say who she’s talking about. Both of them know—Reya turns to her, hands folded neatly behind her back, and regards her with a gentle searching look. “Yes,” she says, “she does.”

Ava doesn’t meet her gaze. She’s still looking at a particular spot in space, the place where Beatrice’s shimmering face vanished along with those whispered words that the Halo sings with now, almost as if she could will the two  dimensions to meet once more just so she could crawl back into Beatrice’s arms and ask her to say it again and again, forever, in every single life, until the Earth was swallowed up by the heat death of the Sun. 

I love you. Sotto voce, not even for God to hear, so gentle and soft and so, so Beatrice. Only she could ever say three words and make Ava’s word rock about its axis like this; only she could ever say I love you and have it be the great sum of all small and big things, every single moment that defined them. Ava would throw herself in front of a hundred arrows if it meant she got to see Beatrice again. She could leap in front of an unstoppable object and bring it to a standing halt, collide with a black hole and face the implosion, die a hundred times over, anything, everything—and nothing would even come close to those three succinct words. 

“She loves me,” Ava breathes. Her throat cinches painfully. She tears her gaze away from the long gone portal and looks at Reya, almost pleading. “When—?”

“Eventually,” Reya says, with the slow pace of someone who has all the time in Reality, who could scroll and browse through decades the same way Beatrice carefully sorted through invoices and files at their bar in the Alps; Ava restrains the urge to scream. “You’re hurt. You need to heal. This is the beginning of a great war, a conflict whose context and importance far superceeds your understanding. We need you at your full strength now more than ever, Ava, so please don’t rush this process.”

“But Beatrice.” 

Reya just says, “Eventually.”

The Halo buzzes with irritation. Ava presses, unable to shake her urgent feeling. “But how long—when I go back will she still be alive? Is she even still alive?”

“They’re all well. You will see them in time.”

“You’re not helping me.”

Reya gives her a look of sympathy—eyes soft, mouth turned down into a gentle grimace—and Ava’s heart sinks. “What we—this includes you too—are dealing with right now is something that transcends our souls. As much as our souls yearn for things—you for her, and her for you—we cannot let them get in the way of this. In the grand scheme of things, your lifetime will be a blink—a speck, a little grain of sand washed up on the beach. The people you love will come and go, the way it always has been, and soon enough your lives will be only remembered through the Warrior Nun’s notebook as the conflict rages on. You’ve never been religious but you certainly understand giving things up in the name of devotion—it’s a similar scenario here, where we have to put aside our lesser wants and focus on the bigger picture. There have been hundreds before you who have done the same, and hundreds more who will follow. I know you and Beatrice love each other, but for the sake of this fight you two must give that up—Beatrice certainly understood that. Stop focusing on a single grain of sand and look instead at the vast oceans in their entirety, and you’ll see His plan.”

“I don’t believe that,” Ava says, far more shaky than she’d like. 

“You have an angel’s Halo in your spine.”

“No, but that’s—that’s bullshit! Isn’t a beach like a trillion grains of sand or something? Without every single grain of sand, there’d be no beach—no ocean—they coexist with each other, they can’t be without the other. You’re telling me I’ll be a speck of sand, nothing—but then why are you asking me to make such a big sacrifice is I have such a most importance in the Universe?” The Halo starts to emit a low hum in the pit of Ava’s stomach. “And Beatrice—Beatrice realized that devotion didn’t mean giving everything up. She’s really fucking smart and she realized that devotion meant dedication, and that it went two ways. Devotion isn’t giving everything up. It’s sacrificing and having it returned. She’s given up everything she has for religion. She’s sacrified so much more for me, and I’ve sacrificed so much to her too. I love her. You can’t just ask me to leave her behind. I won’t. I can’t.”

Ava sees Reya’s eyes flick to the Halo. She sees her eyes widen, just a fraction of an inch. She feels the Halo buzzing with energy, enclosing her into an embrace—Beatrice’s embrace, with her arms fixed around her side and her head resting on the nape of her neck, her throat rumbling with a low, scratchy hum to whatever song was playing over the radio. Her body starts to shine, blurred iridescence, bright enough to wash out Reya’s form. 

“Ava—”

“I can’t leave her.” She can feel the divinium draining out of her body. The Halo grows stronger, sending currents of energy flowing through her body. When Ava blinks, she can see Beatrice imprinted against the back of her eyelids, curled up in Ava’s bed at the chapel, looking so alone and small in a way Ava’s never seen before. She sees Beatrice leaving in regular clothes, boarding a plane, going to Switzerland by herself and returning to their empty apartment. She sees the tear that runs down her cheek when she looks at their bed—it looks so small and so impossibly empty—and something in the air gives as the Halo produces a great jolt. Ava obeys the impetus, delicately tucking aside the strands of reality pushing through, and she watches as Beatrice’s head shoots up to look at her—her eyes wide, mouth hanging open in a comical expression before it morphs into a smile so bright it makes Ava’s glow dim in comparison.

Ava looks back. Reya’s standing there with a thoughtful, almost resigned expression on her face. When Ava glances back she meets her gaze, holds it, and must find something in there, within the tangle of all of Ava’s humanity, because after a moment a small smile crosses her face—the kind of smile where you’d shake your head and t wow, I wasn’t expecting that, good for them—and she gives a small nod of her head, watches as Ava slips between the fabric of reality snday vanishes with a great flash of light. 

Ava lands with a great thump onto the floor in the little apartment she’d shared with Beatrice all those months ago. The Halo glows brightly in her back, nudging her to her feet to turn and face Beatrice—still crying, but there’s a smile amongst all those tears now, and Ava crosses the gap between them in two great strides and flings herself into Beatrice’s arms with such strength that they almost go toppling over into the wall. 

“You love me?” Ava asks, muffled. 

“Of course I do,” Beatrice says, as if she’s stating a fact, “I always have.”

“I love you too.”

Beatrice says, “I know you do—you always have.”

[mllebabushkat]

☀️ Warrior Nun S2E8 🌙

FINALE IM NOT READY

oh?? reya hello there

protective!bea is so hot ugh

not at her Instantly going for vincent's throat

EUROTRASH JESUS— michael u legend bahahah

ava rising from her crown!coma in the back like she’s been possessed ahahhahahshs

the softness!! in avatrice's little exchange "are you alright?" "fine"

i have a pit in my stomach did you see/hear ava THIS GIRL has just accepted the inevitability and necessity of her self-sacrifice HASN'T SHE 😡😭

nooooo ava + michael my noble selfless babies :(((

hehe bea and superion ava protection squad <3

awwwweee my feels are soft and easily hurt all those goodbye moments :(((((((((((

AVA WRITING A FAREWELL LETTER TO BEA MY HEART- 😭😭

“sometimes the simple truth of being alive just…moves me” she has grown up So Much i'm so proud oh ava dearest 🥺

and superion :(( she doesn't really know but she Knows and she accepts what must happen much as it tears her apart

grumpy bea hahah i still don’t like that look on her

“you’re still a nun aren’t you? forgiveness is part of your job” -> ava sowing more seeds in bea's crisis of faith :")

michael to jillian: “i’ll see you again” um. ru sure sir

first that talking heads quote (she only learns from cam the best), and now “don’t fuck it up” YES QUEENNNNNNN SUPERION

legit my fave

oh lemme take a moment to say i LOVE the brutalist concrete set design this season !!!!!!! *kisses for the crew again*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA michael cocking his eyebrow at the fbc guard when vincent calls them adriel's virgins 💀

yasmine <333333

"that is not in any way how that works" lmaoooo

also the LITTLE SMILE on her face as she says it bea is SO. WHIPPED adsghakldfk

they’re so stupiddddddddd ocs girlies why would u have ur reunion in the open whyyyyyyy

"sister warriors don’t run" have i mentioned i love yasmine

YES AVA PHASING PUNCH

“wow she’s incredible” “yes she is” THE SMILE ON HER FACE DID I MENTION BEA'S WHIPPED

YES cam reunited with her crossbow <3

yessss avatrice combo attack fave move!

no i don’t like the distrust between them :(((((((((((

the cross reflecting in avas eyes :((( oh no :(((

wait i can't help but to imagine yasmine might've had that one moment of doubt of what if ava turned on them

OK before we get to

That Scene

let it be known that this was actually such a beautiful moment, like much as the gifsets are gorgeous they do not do the magic of this scene any justice,, my heart is so full l;khsl;js;lhjssfd

alright, ✨AVATRICE✨

"Because things change when you realise not everything's about you" bea's words laid down right back at her feet ow my heart hurts

did my eyes start watering when the music started? obvs.

"They die so everyone else can live"

"I’m doing this so you can live your life. So live it, okay?"

"I won’t. I can’t." (what is my life without you?)

and you can see the infinite fondness in ava's eyes, you can see that she plans to kiss bea already when she steps forward

and she disarms her! (because of course bea had to make a last ditch effort to save ava from herself, and of course ava's grown enough to match her in combat)

and she kisses her !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

❤️

and of course it’s oh so tender

[Hymn for Her] has me in a CHOKEHOLD

the way the camera spins and the chorus swells like a revelation, like they've finally found home in each other 💖

bea's hand reaches out first and of course it's the Patented Avatrice ✨Face Caress✨

THE FOREHEAD KISS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ava's teary smile, and bea returning it with a hint of a smile and a nod

"IN THE NEXT"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOJDGDJDKSKAHSH

this music im cryign again 😭😭

we all agree we aren't normal about this scene right?????

bea is shell shocked, and ava’s heartbroken, but they both dutifully carry on in that deathly silence (*kisses for the sound designer*)

“we have no choice.” “we have a million choices…we’re both living on second chances anyway” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

there’s that parallel between ava and michael again (i love the two of them),

and there’s that great inevitable tragedy of all our heroes carrying a sacrifice they don’t deserve to be burdened with

i’m waxing poetic this episode and nobody can stop me

but the plot chugs ever onward so-

“semantics, huh? That’s what we’re betting our lives on?” “we’re betting our lives on faith.” “huh, even worse.” SPITTING FACTS atheist agenda ftw

ADRIEL A-POSING HAHAHA he looks so fucking awkward standing with his legs apart like that ajhahdhdjaha

ooooh an uneven cross window this setpiece is fantastic

NO LILITH

MICHAEL HIS HEART?????????

WHAT THE E FUCK

that’s goddamn brutal

holyyyyyyyy shittttttttttttttttt

THATS IT? HESDEAD? JUST LIKE THAT

??????

grudging respect to the writers for having the balls to put in such a cruel end

i still can’t tear my thoughts away buT

BEA HALLWAY FIGHT MY BELOVED

OH the waver in her voice 🥺 when

“you all stand between me and ava.” NO MORE PRETENCE this is HER girl in DANGER she’s gotta save her !!!!

“stay… and you’ll never walk again.” BRUTAL. LOVING this look on bea

wow wow wow ave maria melting into that 2WEI arrangement is gorgeoussssssssssssssss

that deep resonant bass hits SO good

btw i’m so proud of myself for instantly recognising a signature 2wei song without checking they really are the kings of epic soundtracks

YES BEA KICK ASSSSSSSSS you are a work of ART

a l s o yES YASMINE THE CROSS SHIV

“that’s your femoral artery” i LOve a nerdy badass <33

“oh you uNHoLy biTcH” AHDHFKALHDJDKD LMFAOOO YESSSS

wanna take a moment to acknowledge bea’s compassion when she tells yas keep safe, you’ve done enough.

yasmine my bby going “maybe I’ll just sit here and wait for a while” hahahahA BEST GIRLIE ILY

update up top: camilla my beloved still kicking ass <3

sigh alright back to the slaughter chamber

hmmmmmmmm backstory

what is adriel’s gripe with reya ? is it possible it’s actually valid??? i need to know M O R E

alright adriel’s distracted thx for the mindfuck cam mwah x

OK AVA LESGO

yes stab his little bitch ass,, love that sword toss + phasing move gO STYLE ON HIM

fuck lilith uP

adriel is an airbender ?????

oh but the shot of michael’s lifeless heart :(((( i didn’t need to see him like this again :(( i’m really gonna miss him rest in peace my boy :(((((

BEA-

OH SHIT THE BOMB And the

divinium shrapnel-

“wait just let me rest for a little bit okay” WAIT NO SHE’S DYING

AND ADRIEL LIVES NO NOT THE EVIL LAUGH NOT THE VIOLIN CADENZA—

(side note love the shot of adriel limping then walking as his foot horrifyingly twists back to normal)

“i cannot be killed in this realm” fucking semantics didn’t pull through in the end :(((

bUT CAM WITH THE CLUTCH

OH AND ava’s been fighting without the halo this whole time???? what a BAMF

TARASKSSSSSSSSSSS WOW never did i think they’d save the day no i lie. semantics saved the day

HAHAHAHAHAHAA TEAR THE BITCH APART insert kill bill meme

ok but did they actually kill him this time (if so DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD)

reya to the rescue..! that *nod*

ah, birdsong. they’ll be alright up top :)

ALAS

ava’s still dying

and they’re cradling again

and surely these are their final moments together

“Why are you always trying to save me?” (she loves you)

“Let me go”

“Be free” (remember this exchange from last time?)

“I love you” (you knew that)

“I love you” (you didn’t hear)

see you, ava

:”(

lilith, still “i really hope we end up on the same side”, and then she’s gone too

and there’s nothing left except for the music to ramp up, and the arc to power down, and her to sit at its base,

alone

and it finally hits her, she’s lost, it’s over

bea 🥺 darling

:((

…

but post credits????!!!

post-ocs!bea is Yet Another Vibe

ugh when i have the energy i’ll make another rant about the significance of her looks this season

sister dora arms! cute hair~

of course, the montage and the cast sendoffs as bea walks out but she looks happy, free

a final farewell, but only for now <3

and the sword glow????

AND THAT’S IT

extra shoutout to [Always Forever] the lofi credits, istg the ost this season SLAPS

but yeah, holy shit, it really is over. that’s it, that’s all of season 2 huh (i’m hoping so hard for a season 3 and more). damn this was a good ride. so many new memories to treasure. so many more thoughts yet to be articulated. but all that for later,

in the next x