#but i'm also really lazy these days
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[vent in the tags]
#i have come to a point where other socmeds are just so noisy and there's nowhere else i can breath and say something in peace#anyway#overthinking malala lol#idk i just feel like i'm being such a fake#and that i don't deserve to study my thesis bcs i only rediscover my sexuality at this age#and like i have to give it up for another topic#but i'm also really lazy these days#and all of these thoughts would mix and mesh into a whole confusion and emptiness where i feel like i don't know what i want#eventho it's funny bcs i'm doing things that will lead me to places more or less where i feel like i wanna be#but at the moment i am so uneasy#idk maybe being in between or transitioning towards things is making me uneasy#sighs#why does no one told me being in your 20s felt a whole lot of trial and error#only that each of your decision feels like a weight on your shoulder#or like a decisive throw that would determine the path of your life#which is so stupid bcs many years from now i'm going to be so different than the one i am now probably#which both excites and scares me#ougfh maybe i need sleep
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SKZ as DND CLASSES: WARLOCK FELIX
warlocks are seekers of the knowledge that lies hidden in the fabric of the multiverse. through pacts made with mysterious beings of supernatural power, warlocks unlock magical effects both subtle and spectacular.
#felix#lee felix#stray kids#bystay#createskz#a9gifs#*ccarly#*gfx#*felix#*carly:felix#*series:dnd#here it is. hyperfixated on this so hard literally could not focus on anything else the past two days .#Nobody voted for warlock felix. but do u see my VISION!!#almost made him a celestial warlock tbh but then i was like no....he Would sacrifice his soul to save his friend(s)...#justifying it to himself like !!! i bet if i try really hard everything will be fine#now he lives every day fighting an internal war between good and evil. sorry felix but it's a good concept#also i love rpgs but i am by no means a dnd expert there's some stuff on here that isn't Technically Accurate but it's just for fun#aka i'm too facking lazy to calculate stats and proficiency bonuses blah blah blah. so <3 hopefully i will COMPLETE THIS SERIES#layout between members may or may not change if i find a way to do it that i like more alkdjflkad we'll see
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jesus christ, doc, i thought you were a goner! warn a guy next time, will ya? jesus christ, doc. jesus christ
bonus doodle post-extra-long-hug:
(listen im a sucker for the forehead kisses alright. whenever it happens in a fic i eat that shit UP. it's the cutest thing ever idc)
#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#doc brown#emmett brown#happy bttf day! good thing i fell into the hyperfixation hole before the crash course of dates here in oct-nov instead of after#otherwise i'd have to wait a whole year! anyways#THEY SHOULDVE HUGGED IN THIS SCENE ARGJARHGARHAJ#they totally did guys trust me they totally did.#honestly i love how everyone agrees yeah they hugged immediately after the scene cut we just didn't see it#bc it is real. and true. canon even!#they should've hugged at the end of part 3 also but i digress#im so happy im an artist guys i can draw whatever the hell i want. i can will scenes that should've happened into existence#see what happens when i really try? see what happens when i give it my all? /ref#this turned out soo well i'm very happy with it. at the same time i can totally see it being one of those pieces where you look back in a#year or two and go damn why that limb at that angle#the tool belt is not accurate at all i just couldn't be bothered. drew a “placeholder” thing for it before looking at refs and got lazy#kit does an art#tag as ship and it's your knees
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roadkill.
my art entry for @megaroniandcheez's dtiys. see tags for notes and explanations on the art. also tumblr may have absolutely nuked the quality so click the picture for a better look
#dream discusses bsd 🖋️#dream doodles 🖋️#cheez dtiys#this took between 6-8 hours. I don't know the exact time since I wasn't really keeping track#anyways this would've come out quicker if I hadn't put it off for a few days but I really needed to take a break since it got frustrating#the bg and skeleton were already done but I was really stuck on what to do with chuuya and I even scrapped the original pose I had for him#it was too difficult given my current skill set. but I can see how i've improved since my last major piece (aka my own dtiys)#but yeah. also disregard his gloves I literally forgot that and I didn't want to detail his actual hands so. gloves it was. yeah.#for my sake just pretend that he either forgot or just activated corruption suddenly so then he'll rip them off anyways#still drew his hat blowing away amidst the flurry of feathers though#oh also this is 16 chuuya. 22 chuuya's hair PAINS me to draw so I went the gay little ponytail route#design notes include making his coat have fur to reference how he was based off of a bearded vulture#also his wings were very fun to draw. I used an actual picture of a bearded vulture as reference too#I got a little lazy with the ram skeleton but the skull has the most amount of effort put into it#I considered adding remnants of flesh still sticking to the bones themselves but bearded vultures primarily eat bones/bone marrow anyways#also technically I used this dtiys as a way to test out my art program's filters with the blurring of said ram skeleton. really adds depth#CEO of nonsensical backgrounds. that's a forest I just also got lazy with it. not the main focus of the drawing#I do like the backlighting and the corruption marks though. very proud of how that turned out. this whole thing was experimental#not sure if i'll hate this piece eventually but I'm proud of it at the moment so reblogs are greatly appreciated#dtiys#dtiys entry#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs fanart#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungo stray dogs fanart#bungo stray dogs chuuya
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now all i'm saying is that had qiao wanmian just found herself a nice younger man boytoy in li xiangyi's ten year absence. well im not sure if she still would have gotten over him in a particularly healthier manner but at least she wouldn't have to suffer the sheer cringe of being in a ten year long situationship with mister wet tissue
#mysterious lotus casebook#shut up ness#the boytoy is fang duob--#for legal purposes this is a joke#it's past midnight and i'm on my qiaofang bullshit sorry everyone#i hope i'm not just a fanghua shipper or a difang shipper or a difanghua shipper to you but also a qiaofang shipper#qiao wanmian#one of these days i'm gonna explain why but for now i am too lazy and really ought to be headed to bed !
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happy valentines day to these two in particular
#touhou#art#my art#marisa kirisame#alice margatroid#mariali#valentines day#marialis for the soul#also i made this a few days back so i currently writhe in pain at things i could've done better#but i'm honestly too lazy to redo this so#also i got krita so lil baby animation!#(but since it's just one wiggly line does it really count? maybe not)
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no one would notice if i ever vanished // if bodies could sustain // this never-ending army // like blood pumping through a vein
(click for better resolution!)
:OOO hello. anyway since these are all posters i'd have in an ideal world or smth and i'd like to store the high res versions somewhere,,, here's the google drive folder for them? hehe ''
close up!
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#i'm back with the posters! or smth! idk!!#i'm maybe just a bit obsessed with vincent. such a Character.#where can i run is sustaining me single-handedly through this exam season (<- has cried thrice in the last two days; alas; but moving on)#my stress response was that in a fit of apathy i shut myself down from academia and stopped to paint this#six hours total? on this funky little thing! had to push myself to finish the magnifying glass but!! looks so cool. i'm impressed with my e#fun fact: all the shades are hand-coloured. aka everything is digitally hand painted hooray!! i havent painted for a long time (ish)#smth about this musical makes me want to paint. it's very lovely that way#it's also a miracle i haven't gotten carpal tunnel or any wrist injuries so far... i'm a lucky person! hooray#i had so many thoughts to ramble about and now i don't recall any of them.#-! about this piece: inspired specifically by that one line that i doodled in the margins of a math practice last night#the diagonal slant was very. thinky. the rendering and angle were kinda contradictory to do but it's fineeee (draft was diff. pov)#i liked the red abstraction. and the way that people (misc) gave same vibes as red blood cells.#green for vincent because contrasting colour!! considered a spotlight that was more obv bc. again theatre lighting is so cool. but that was#a bit too literal? i think. so just fun little highlights. no one look at the accuracy of anything here though.. shadows do Not do this#also like hehehe lin. forest. forest of people. i really liked thinking about that. hehehe#i didn't know the font to use!! or quote!! so i slapped on the name of the musical and called it a day... the blank one is in the google-#-folder if you want to add your own stuff :') also also i wasn't sure about cropping at all. so again high res in google drive link#which is under the keep-reading sign! kind of a choose your own adventure because i'm lazy :3#ajhshdhfhfhfhf i think i've been fuelled by the tags under each post so far. so intensely. so very nice.#also when the cast or creators drop fun facts... serotonin right there.. they're all so nice waaagh it's so cool that they like my stuff ><#<laughs> really grateful that the whole fandom's so sweet <3 thank you for your support TvT#alright!! off to mess about with chemistry. jiayou me.#oh yes. a post script about the cropping crisis: i wasn't sure how small i wanted to make him. in proportion to the crowd. so if you see it#on mobile ig it's tiny and on laptop it kind of makes sense ...
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pspspspspsps
A little doodle for inbetween refs <3 lumibabsworth in intent technically but read as you will.
#artz<3#doodle#batb: Other Than Human#but also they're really not all too diff from canon on all accounts. so again read as you wish.#ok I'm freestyling it on Babs a lil#but she does retain most of her canon traits. I just made her more of a freak.#in like a gremlin way not like a sex way.#anyways I don't plan on changing their names either so#congrats on canon tagging you three!#lumiere#babette#too lazy to list her other names#cogsworth#lumibabsworth#oH another diff is also Lumiere's like. a woman. in Other Than Human. girltwink if you will.#my fave girltwink. love that for her#batb#I'd yap to explain wtf the context of some of these tags is bcuz I fear breaching containment#but like. idk I'll do an intro post one day ig.#not the fondest of how Babs face turned out but it's a doodle so whtvr#anyways to me all pun-hatred is performative. part of their comedy. The bit. but also I laugh way to easily so maybe it's just me.#Gem stop yapping in ur tags
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here i am!!
[separate figure and background below]
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#a dollar and 75 cents#i did not do the background i meant to lmaoo--#i think it looks neat though i like it :33 :D#//lookit my lil guy. okay thank you very much hfbhs#//this was fun i need to do more with the inks in general ! !!!#also tried something with the shading - mm not sure i'm so wowed with that but it looks okey :>>#and gourhg. i may need to just handpick the colours for shading each colour because i Am going to lose it one day Loll#//yeah though uuuhm#i have no other thoughts but i'm spinning them really really fast on a lazy susan hfsh :3
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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any thoughts on ttpd??? i want to know what you think >24h after release 🤍
this is a very difficult question, edith, because i have a huge problem with this album, i also feel like i have a lot to say, but i will write the entire essay in a few days, cause there's a lot to unpack. for now i can only say that i don't love this album, i still think it's the worst taylor's album ever (for those who say this is her best album: stop lying), there's nothing poetic about it for me & really hate some of the lyrics (come on, charlie puth & tattooed golden retriever, cringe cringe cringe). as much as i love jack, i think taylor should have worked more with aaron on this one, because the 2am edition is much better & i feel like he saved it with his incredible production, it's literally everything i wanted this album to be. in conclusion: i would probably erase the entire standard edition (maybe i would leave 2-3 songs that i actually liked) & i would just make an album out of those 2am tracks. the only song i can truly say i love is "i hate it here", maybe because it's the most relatable for me. but imo the entire album was just... terrible & unnecessary. taylor, please, take a break.
#also i wanted to add that when i found out this is a double album i was so mad... because i was so bored & tired...#those songs were so disappointing#& then BOOM BITCH there's even more#i didn't ask for this#but my boy aaron saved the day#the first part of the album feels lazy & boring#& this is the first time ever when i really want to give it a chance & a few more listens but i just have to#literally force myself to listen to it during the day#& i skip most of the songs anyway#so idk#it's scandalous really#i just... feel so bored.#maybe it will grow on me tho we will see#but those are my thoughts for now#i'm sorry#ts#ttpd#i saved every letter you wrote me*
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spent 80% of my day making the pain-in-the-ass squares for my ace jon quilt and consequently my body is 80% pain now
#there are two squares from the fanart#and one of them is extremely nice to do with just squares and rectangles#and - crucially - i cut them out correctly#the showpiece squares are much more fiddly and i'm going to go back in time and beat myself for not cutting the pieces out correctly#the hourglass blocks are all a half inch too small and i don't know what i did with the 2.5 squares but they are shit as well#but there are only five showpiece squares left to do now so i can absolutely knock those out in another day#and then i'll get to work on the filler squares and making rows#i really wasn't sure i'd be able to get this quilt done by end of year but batch sewing really helped#so if i can Focus and also Not Break My Back with this. i might even get the top done by the end of this month???#and then it's on to the worst part. the absolute worst part. finding backing.#(but also this is if i go the square route. whereas my original plan would add another 2 rows)#(and i was getting lazy but like........... 7x9 quilt............extremely good vibes from a 7x9 quilt........)#but then there's ALSO what i'm planning on doing about the actual quilting#because with all the very close calls with too-small blocks i probably NEED some dense quilting#but i haven't figured out my free-hand quilting foot and i don't want to practice on a quilt i've poured myself into already#so.......i guess i'll have to send it away 🥺#agh i'm Tired i just want to have the finished thing in my hands#BUT WILL THEY LET ME BIND IT? binding it is my favorite step i need to bind it myself i can't deal with strangers doing my baby's binding#i don't know!! and my back hurts too much to think about it anymore#quilting tag
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so my sister is getting me to watch Cobra Kai while I'm visiting home, right
and look. She warned me about the love square. The old man rivalry. All that good stuff. What she did not warn me of, or rather, was not equipped to warn me of(she's never played DR), was the fact that Mondo Owada is a main fucking character
#desperately hoping Hawk does not go the Mondo way and like. die or something#I'm mid-season 3 btw so no spoilers plz :)#but anyway yeah! I'm liking it so far#I think Johnny is my fav rn. Johnny is developing so well he's such a broken man of a protag it's delightful#I can see this 'toxic masculinity to fill the insecurities' thing they've got going with Hawk and. *chef's kiss*#crane-talk#also um. Hawk and Demetri are ex-boyfriend coded#“you're actually gonna hurt me?” “Eli stop it's me!" stop fucking stop it#they were each other's first kiss at one of their sleepovers#ALSO HI WHERE TF DID AISHA GO#she was one of my favs and she just fucking dissipated#yes ik 'she moved away' shut up and let your only black woman be a main character do not get lazy and toss her out when you can't think of#anything for her to do. She has been here since day 1 you're seriously gonna tell me they couldn't keep her in at all? Bullshit#surely they could've had her take a central stance between the increasing aggression of Cobra Kai and Miyagi Do's attempts to stand up for#themselves. And used that to demonstrate that the people within Cobra Kai aren't just doomed to become monsters#like Sam (and Hawk) seem to believe right now#really hoping she's coming back later and that this is being done with a purpose
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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Terra Nova characters and their s p a m blog descriptions (inspi.)
#terra nova#terra nova 2011#terranovaedit#maddy shannon#lucas taylor#nathanial taylor#alicia washington#elizabeth shannon#jim shannon#terra nova mira#almost made lucas have the coordinates of the bermuda triangle but swamp fit better hahaha#Since most of these are female oriented I had to get creative with the men#and I also got lazy and skipped mark josh and malcom#I'm probably tricking people into ticking I am a consistent content creator#I am in fact not that and I just really thought the leverage post was funny and I haven't done like a TN in over a year probably#elisabeth taylor#I spelled her name wrong woops#I also forgot how g o d awful colouring this show is like I know with vidding but gifs geeez#pls check out the inspi post it's great#two content posts in 1 day I must be insane anyway I'll go back to my crypt now#pandaheadpat#pandagifs*
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Songs I like from TTPT, having had a break.
Fortnight. I felt absolutely nothing for this the first time I heard it but it's a slow burn. I cannot recommend listening to it the four or five times it took to really hit for me, but I love you and it's ruining my life did get stuck in my head on a loop.
The Bolter. I think this one suffers from overwriting but honestly I am a sucker for a good story about emotionally unavailable women making predictable choices
Florida!!! I had fun with this one but it doesn't really stick with me. I do enjoy yelling floRIDAAA though.
So Long, London. imo this is just a solid breakup song. I feel for the singer, who is conveying the specifics of her grief in terms relatable enough for me to project onto it. It does suck when someone who used to make your day by walking into the room is increasingly emotionally unavailable in lieu of pulling the trigger themselves and you have to do it for them.
I Can do it with a Broken Heart. A bop! I think this one will stand the test of time and stick around in the same lowkey way Bruno Mars' lazy song did because it's good to have a song for spackling manic cheerfulness over the void in much the same way it is good to have a song for being a wastrel.
Anyway all this to say I think Taylor Swift should do a Henry the Eighth themed music video where she casts herself as Henry and actors who are obviously meant to represent her exes as his assorted wives and mistresses and just go to town on depictions of herself feasting and jousting and fighting with the Pope.
#press says tswift#i think this concludes my ttpd blogging#i'm going to wind up listening to the first half again when the record arrives but i feel cleansed and also like even my most#beloved swiftie is a little done with it#actually i like i can do it with a broken heart significantly more than i like the lazy song. but some days you really don't feel like doin#anything. he was right about that. i'm big enough to admit it#shoutout to saint mela's the bends which is what i'm listening to now and has me going baby girl ;___________;#i'm just a grown woman wallowing in what this has done to my spotify algorithm#ok i lied. all of these songs are also about wwx. usually also jiang cheng
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