#but i'd be happy with any interaction
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sorry for the disgusting handwriting Gojo: Yoo, guess who's back
Gojo: Oh! Just what I needed Gojo: Perfect (Let's see... Where is the next pastry shop?)
Itadori: Not even a hello?
Shoko: I'm not surprised
#I am praying for a emotional reunion between shoko and gojo but let's be honest#gege is probably going to shit post#but i'd be happy with any interaction#if not i'll go cry in my little headcanon conrner#jjjk#spoilers#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#shoko ieiri#gojo satoru#fanart#IPMSSA_Panels#IPMSSA_canon!Fixit
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The Terror: When, How, Where - Part 4
I have done it. Here's the Summary of my last 3 parts (to which you can refer to to enjoy the full meltdown I had making this
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3)
Full Powerpoint can be found Here
I fully recommend checking out the powerpoint because damn... I worked hard for it :')
Full Map can be found Here (EDIT: Link now repaired)
EDIT: Reference for death count Here by Tumblruser Hangingfire
EDIT: For all your "figuring out when it's total night in the Arctic" needs Here
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#the terror#the terror amc#19th century dead sailors#reference#the terror timeline#I... Sorta accidently (?) speculated that Fitzjames would die on his birthday :( I'm so sorry I didn't realize it until today...#PLEASE DO TAKE A LOOK AT THE FULL MAP AND THE POWERPOINT I WORKED SO HARD#Also please interact with me... if you have any questions of found any mistakes#I'd be happy to correct them#long post
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the people aren't ready to hear this but angelique arbitrarily picking quentin to decide to be in love with out of nowhere, bewitching roger into marriage and then absolutely not wanting him to touch her, and constantly pursuing men's (chiefly barn's) attention only when it's clear he doesn't want her, is soooo comp het of her.
#good luck babe!#the one exception i can think of where she genuinely seems to enjoy physical affection with men is when she's#enthralled joe. and joe is more like a really clingy; very pretty jelly donut in that situation.#in leviathans she's more or less happy with sky who does seem to want her.#but i would strongly argue that what angelique *wants* is the social position of a Wife —#as opposed to being interested in any given man himself.#and there's something really fascinating about the difference between her and julia there; even though ang possesses way more power#(and is theoretically not bound by human gendered/sexual structures of power)#julia found her position (and significant influence!) via her own intellect and career; her want for barnabas is tremendously personal —#not socioeconomic; not needing to be Established in the world as a wife to move through it or find meaning.#(and i realize i'm going against most barnjules shippers here but i do think julia would prefer to be known as Dr. Hoffman infinitely more#than becoming yet another anonymous Mrs. Collins)#but angelique is so different. for her (over and over and over again) finding her place in the human world as a woman means#becoming someone's Wife. whether or not she wants them! and i'd argue she usually doesn't. not like she thinks she does.#and this is sort of only a footnote; but even the ploy to get roger — enrolling as a student in the college in rockport —#is only a Very Temporary ruse to get into position as Mrs. Collins. academic knowledge like julia's; or establishing herself#institutionally doesn't even seem to make a blip on her radar.#feminine identity for ang is Only contained absolutely in the marriage contract#— which the show is pretty explicitly; emphatically against!#julia is the hero to root for (narratively and romantically) and ang the unquestioned antagonist (most of the time)#and her marriage plots are shown as devious and unwanted; even when they're not to the level of brainwashing and drugging roger.#but. man. fascinating. just Fascinating the way ang interacts with sex and gender.#phenomenal cosmic powers ... itty bitty gender space.
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Shoelaces
I'm doing an art trade with the wonderful @tokyogruel and this is my piece for them!
They wanted "haruka and mikoto interacting Brothers style" and my mind immediately went to this... T2 art makes me want to sit them both down and sort their fucking shoes out!! but for now. at least One of them will no longer trip over 💜 nature is healing guys
#milgram#haruka sakurai#mikoto kayano#listen. I may have Exaggerated how bad mikoto's shoes are but do you really think they're going to be fixed any time soon??? EXACTLY#and don't get me started on haruka's shoes... oh my god this boy Will give me a migraine. I bet no one ever helped him with laces before :(#but not anymore!! I'm here to fix that!!!#anyways I had so much fun making this!! I really love lineless art - and the art process meshes with my way of drawing well I think ^w^#I'd much prefer to think in shapes and blocks of colour than try to draw the perfect line 500 times and cry of frustration asdfghjkl#I Love these two interacting... I can't explain it in words so I hope I conveyed my feelings well!! they deserve to be happy ;w; 💜#my art#ミルグラム
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𝔸𝕊𝕊𝔸𝕊𝕊𝕀ℕ 𝔸𝕌
Name/Alias: Pomni / Kaleidoscope
Age: 25
Occupation: Cipher
Further Information: [REDACTED.]
She was discovered at a traveling circus that she had joined after her parents died, not having any other family members or friends to rely on. So the circus became her new home and she learned many skills through her time performing and perfected it. And one day during her acts, some people grew an interest in Pomni and essentially bought her to join their secret alliance and test what she was capable of. They needed someone with zero ties and no family in the off chances their suspicions were off about the potential of who they chose.
Pomni excelled in every task given. Her handle with sharp blades was something to be wary of. But she's rather cold and callous; her eyes shined with limited expectancy, her eyes always hung with gated judgement and strait-laced; a woman with nothing to lose and no attachments to emotion to hinder her from their field of work. She was perfect.
The travelling circus was a grounds to train potential new recruits to mold them into machines to join their secret organization of agents that ranged in talents, without their prior knowledge. It was obvious, in hindsight, however; everyone apart of the organization reeked of melancholic energy. Feed on the weak and create monsters out of them.
She accepted, without a single thought more to stew in doubt. There was no doubt within her hardened shell. An assassin, a cipher; skilled in her tactful art of precision with her hands and body. Very flexible, fast moving, silent. Her stamina was unparalleled and her words were little. Respect went a long way with her and only then would she grant more than silence.
An assassin needed to be perspective, quick on their feet and easy to manage situations under pressure; the circus did well to key in those factors for her. Almost catlike reflexes to her subtle steps and movements. She'd been the perfect creation for their cause. One that was still unknown about. Questions weren't what they needed, but someone who could understand and follow commands. She'd be the perfect fit.
Her eyes were pinwheels but to escape her identity ever coming undone, she bores contacts of a ruby and sapphire eye. Her hair was brunette, but the length varied. Bangs long enough at the sides to frame past her chin to her shoulders and hair braided down and in front past her rib cage.
She'd adopt the alias: Kaleidescope, or Kaleid for short. Her targets nor anyone else could know of or figure out who she was besides those who hired her - and it's better off that way; it was her greatest weakness, that and the true nature of her eyes that she kept hidden behind contacts.
Intel came in through a shoulder grab, a lean into her ear and a faint whisper. Kaleid needed to act and it was her time to shine. Her blades are sharp and holstered, hidden in many crevices throughout her body in case of a needed emergency. Foldable, retractable, long, short, you name it, she has it. And the venor to find who pissed off her hired heads begins.
#interaction ; assassin au.#assassin au verse.#does this make any sense .. . . . .. I'd be happy to clarify i am Terrible at making summaries and creating aus skdhdkhd#ooc ; out of the headset.
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Coming in to play! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Webkinz#Webkinz hours! The cute lads have wedged their way back to the forefront of my mind haha#I'm honestly really glad I kept all my Webkinz plush over time and they've survived all the moves and whatnot#Some are still missing - most notably my horses for some reason - but I have the rest onhand and they're still cute and soft and I love them#Getting the opportunity to name and play with them as a young'un made them stick quite strongly in my mind ♪#And I still find some of my design sensibilities with their roots in the gameplay/game design/UI design/interactivity#I think it inspired some of my Video Game Design brain which is an aspect of myself I'm quite happy with :D#And I /love/ plushies probably now more than ever <3 So I'm doubly glad younger me didn't get rid of them haha#Got my lineup that featured in Tala's Requestober this year ♥ I left out a couple for what are probably obvious reasons ahem ahem#If you haven't seen what the Official design of the clownfish is in Webkinz... The plushy is arguably worse lol why that one of all of them#Hire me to design Webkinz fish I dare you#There are actually several cute fish - and several ugly ones! Lol I don't know why they're so inconsistent#It's not like the differences between Signature and Classic! Most of the fish are Classic or eStore! I don't know what gives lol#Anyway lol the other one I left out was my Night Mare since I couldn't remember his name either - which is a shame! I liked him#I still have some fairly clear memories of playing Webkinz with those lads <3 Of the different rooms and relationships and games#It's nostalgic! It's nice to reminisce on something so cheery and cute and light and fluffy :)#As for the rest hehe - I tend to pick up 'kinz whenever I find them at secondhand shops and the like - much like Lalaloopsies#They're out of production! Harder to find - rare and valuable haha totally#I haven't found any New With Tags so far but I'm on the hunt still!! Someday it'll be my turn...#But I Have found some really adorable fellows for cents on the dollar haha <3 Two Blue Whales and a Sheep and Duck!! So cute#My latest find was a Lil'kinz Lioness Cub and she is - So tiny <3 Really adorably constructed with a fluffy nose ahhh ♪#The Long Eared Bunny is my current Free 'kinz! I unfortunately lost the account with Baaby so I had to start over again but that's alright#This time I've got Embroidery and she's in a closet cosplay of Edgar haha - black-and-grey striped shirt with dark pants and round glasses#And angel wings! I was able to snag those from the Ganz website and they're perfect honestly haha ♥ She won an Open Beauty Pageant with it!#Couple of her with Sugar - my first Webkinz I got to play with since Diamond's tag was thrown away :') Sugar's my oldest 'kinz <3#And of her with smol's Free 'kinz since I convinced her to play with me off and on haha - her Leonberger named Borgus :D#And then one final one of what I'd really like - a Webkinz Spider ;;♥ I /know/ they've made spider objects that are really cute!#And April Fools' fake pets of a spider!! Give me the fluffy spider please Ganz even if there's no plushie I just need to pet the spider
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Again, this is asking a lot from Bethesda, and I wouldn't worry if they didn't consider or think of this.
But it would be so, absolutely so amazing if they had a sleazy scummy antagonistic Ghoul whose trying to take advantage of the fact that Lucy is naive and new to the world to oversell things, who doesnt affect the plot of the story but is a recurring character, possibly a merchant of type.
Just so we get a nice variety of Ghouls, as a fun treat.
#pretty much i want an Ahzrukhal#I don't expect Ahzrukhal but a Ghoul like Ahzrukhal cause i enjoy greasy slimy men who speak with a wheezy drawl#I'd want them so badly#fallout#but yeh im not gonna expect much from the show to have things id like to see#im just happy too see fun stuff in general#and so excited too see where this show takes its characters and how they grow and interact i could care less about lore accuracy#tho it would be so funny if they saw a space ship or any signs of alien life hehehehe id love that#i am very interested to see Deathclaws and Supermutants tho and ferals!
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sol. Sol. Sol. Sol. Sol.
SOL.
ilysm.
you are so friggin extraordinary.
never change.
you're amazing.
Kept trying to think of some paragraph long response to this but I'm absolutely shitty with words-
SO
Tam. The feeling is very mutual- for you and everyone I've talked to at some point since I've been on this hellsite we call Tumblr /affectionate
Talking with everyone on here, sharing my art with everyone- just existing with everyone on here and seeing what y'all create has turned into such a huge aspect of my life (especially my social life like- y'all ARE my social life at this point 😅)
Plus I'm fuckin so glad I decided to try out Tumblr when I did cuz it was around a sorta traditional point in my life (moving outta a toxic ass house and away from a toxic, isolated life and my ex supposed father figure). Coming on here and talking with you and everyone else brightens my day and I'm glad to be a part of everything :3
#turned into a paragraph long response ajdjajfusufydsifuud to#have zero idea if this makes sense and I'd tather not re-read this all so I'm just gonna post it :P#sol full of asks#ALSO Tam this made me so frickin happy seeing this so thank you ♡(ӦvӦ。)#Update: ALSO- also I just wanna add this for all my moots#sorry about not interacting much or at all with y'all#I've been ignoring a LOT of my notifications on here- I get way to much with how many people I follow#and yeah I know I can just turn some notifications off but I really don't want to cuz if I do I just know I'm gonna completely forgot about#any bl9g I turn notifications off for- amd I don't want that to happen 😅#so I just ignore those notifications unless I'm bored and/or I decide to check up on what some people are doing :P
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It is, objectively, super funny that the Trek fandom in general is sitting around hoping that STP ignores their faves and doesn’t try and involve them. I mean, it’s many other things as well, but it’s funny that I keep being recommended random posts of random people crossing their fingers hoping that their blorbos will be ignored, never be seen on screen, and therefore saved from anything from bad characterisation to death via stupid contrived avoidable circumstance.
#that picard one#i feel like this could be some kind of bottom line on fan reactions tbh#we don't WANT our faves back#is... one hell of a indictment really#meanwhile the posts that truly baffle me are the shippers between the titular character and his ex cmo being Happy#if this were one of my big ships#(i casually enjoy it in tng)#i'd be Fuming!!!!#she's treating him like a doormat#they literally haven't had Any positive interaction?? (i've not seen this week's ep tho)#i... have not seen any content here that makes it seem like the Show ships it tbh#and if i trusted the writers i'd think that's bc they're not trying to push the ship#but i don't trust them. i've watched this season. l o l.#like honestly the downgrade in respect JL would be getting here if they decided to dear john laris for this ship is#astounding#(my main theory is they're gonna have Her ditch him so he doesn't look bad. if the stoy doesn't fit just bullshit it#is the method of this season so i don't feel bad for assuming this of them#if i'm wrong good. but i doubt it)
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im going fucking crazy im going to bite someone’s head off kris and noelle deltarune making my brain fucking melt
#i make a post like this like 5 times a month anyways I NEED DELTARUNE CHAPTER 3 RIGHT FUCKING NOW. IM SO SERIOUS#i cannot think about this shit for more than 5 seconds without being filled with a desperate longing for new content#and the problem is I FUCKING THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!#undertale and deltarune are the one thing that no matter WHAT im currently fixated on that shit is instantly my number 1 priority#like with other stuff i'll be like ooh that thing i like cool :) when its not what im currently fixated on#but it does not fucking matter WHAT the current brainrot is if theres any speck of utdr content im instantly there#even when it comes to shit that is not new at all. even if its just me seeing a piece of fanart or something#it sends me into a spiral every fucking time#i dont even remember what caused it today T_T#nothing will EVER make me as fucking crazy as utdr im so serious like. god. this shit is like crack for ambigiously neurodivergent ppl /hj#i could literally watch 5000 videos restating the same secrets and lore connections and shit over and over and over and i'd be happy#and yet theres somehow STILL things i dont know about like thats what rlly makes this shit so awesome is that there is somehow always more#undertale esp like it still awes me just HOW MUCH SHIT is in this fucking game. not even just content wise but in terms of like story#connections and all that shit#all the different unique neutral endings all of the extra dialogue and shit you get on repeat playthroughs and just#everything#and then w deltarune its awesome bcuz there is SO MUCH SHIT but.... its not finished. so unlike w undertale where theories are all more#after the fact stuff. deltarune its like you get to actually try and predict stuff ITS SO AWESOME#anyways if i dont get to see these characters have new little interactions and go on a silly little adventure full of charm and Themes that#has some O_O shit under the surface I WILL FUCKING EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHH I CANT FUCKING TAKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!#serena.txt
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Okay so I just spent ages listening to the bit where Tian Zhixie introduces himself to work out exactly what the phrasing was for ‘Thousand-Faced Demon’ and I worked out it was qiān miàn mó - which does seem to translate as thousand faced demon (or just thousand faces) on google translate (so take it with a pinch of salt) As an alternative it also gave me Qiān miàn èmó, which comes up as “devil with a thousand faces” which I think might be a more accurate phrasing even though I can’t hear them say the è. BUT honestly that’s not even why I’m making this post, I’m making this post because the characters used for this are 千面魔 (or 千面惡魔 for the longer version) 千 is a thousand, fine 魔 is pretty commonly translated as demon/demonic from what I’ve seen (it’s the same mo from Mo Dao Zu Shi) 面 however, is a character I’m familiar with from Duolingo. And while it is used for face/aspect/side, the other translation? Noodle. Tian Zhixie: thousand noodle demon.
#you know when you just stumble across something that makes you wish you could draw?#Also disclaimer I am just a linguistic nerd I am not very good at Chinese#so any Mandarin speakers or people with more fluency who want to add to this#please do! I'd be very happy to hear your input!#Tian Zhixie#Hawk writes text posts when they don't have people to talk to#please interact I'm begging for people who understand#I hope this makes somebody else chuckle as much as it did me#chong zi#The Journey of Chong Zi
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Huwah~
I don't like that it's so difficult to find out who exactly has retweeted my posts.
I don't even get a notif if someone leaves a reply. I feel like that website is basically useless to me.
Edit: Resolved. I'm just a moron, but I'll keep this post up in case I forget how to do this again.
#am i too used to tumblr?#i just found out incidentally that a certain person retweeted my flirt comic#is there really not an easy way that I can find out who exactly is interacting with my posts??#is twitter just not the kind of site where people care about that kinda thing??#or do i just not know where to find it.#'cus i don't see it in the analytics#like it's fine if I can't find out every person who *sees* the post#i don't need granular info like that#but i'd at least like to know who likes them enough to share them#i only get notifs when mutuals do it#(Thanks Lex >3<)#and even then i'm not sure if it shows me all of them~#the only real upside i have is that twitter has a more global audience#so my reach is theoretically a little broader#especially since I actually take the time to add alt text to my comics#so they can be machine translated into any language#because at the end of the day the purpose of my work#(for the most part)#is to bring joy#so if more people can see it and it can make those people happy the better#but what i want in return is to at least know who was 'moved' by my silly drawings#ya know?#it means nothing to me if i don't know who is being affected by my work#even if it's just something small like 'that made me smile for 2 seconds'#the number by itself is meaningless to me#i feel like this isn't the first time i've made a post like this#if there's a way to find this info#someone PLEASE tell me
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My pet snake enjoys being pet too, especially after she's eaten she likes me to pet her tummy there.
(The really unusual thing is she will pet herself there with her chin to show me what she wants, and I do it every time she asks so I guess I've been reenforcing/rewarding this behavior. She will stop directing me and relax when I pet her. She also pets ME sometimes too. She'll sit with her body in the crook of my arm and gently and repeatedly move her chin over my arm in the direction my short arm hairs flow, lift up and go back and do it again several times. I'm not sure if she enjoyed being pet and decided to try it for herself and liked it, or just enjoys the feeling of petting her human. She's very sweet, gentle, and cuddly. Does anyone else's snake do this? I've seen nothing like it posted anywhere by anyone else. She's a Western Hognose.)
#When I first got her I'd barely interacted with any snakes irl before#so when she got starled her nature is to make a loud scary sound#It is REALLY loud considering she's as small as a long gummi worm#The second time she did it and I flinched uncontrollably she seemed to have this realization that she was scaring the hell out of me#(startling because sudden loud sound)#and seems to have made an effort to not scare big human who nice things happen to her when they are around#she only hisses now to say no or when something startles her#and is very nice and sweet to me#It was very surprising to me she recognized she was scary and changed her behavior to be nice to me almost immediately#I'm so happy she wants to be friends and associates me with good things#she'll be out exploring and if I start taking to her she'll come over#I'm not calling her#she just hears me talk sweetly to her and immediately wants to be near me#often she just likes to be held#and chooses to spend time being held when offered play time or to go back in her home#I think her knowing she has complete control and choice is why she's so confident. Sometimes I think she asks to go back in her home just#to make sure she can#because she'll come back out again immediately and start playing#a lot of the time she'll peek just to make sure she can see her enclosure#and that's enough for her to feel safe#and she'll cuddle me and we'll play#I wish media showed the true nature of these sweet animals rather than trying to make them look scary#a lot of the time the representation in videos is after the animal has either learned not to trust or has been intentionally riled up#but my gods if you spend time with them and they learn you are someone who loves them they can trust many are so so so so dear#A lot of snake videos are the equivalent of taking a feral cat and getting in it's face#if that's all people see they'd think all cats were like trapped panicky desperate feral cats#but that wouldn't be an accurate representation at all#yanno?
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are you and M around the same age? are you "equals" at your job or is he your supervisor or anything like that? i don't wanna be presumptuous at all, but as someone who also gets affected by people caring about them and expressing that, i do wonder if it could be a situation where there could be a power dynamic. again, i don't mean to assume anything bad, it's just something people have had to tell me before, and i hope that it's safe for you to have those feelings, whatever they are :)
He's a fifteen years+ older full time program counsellor and we’re a part time program counsellor assistant, but our roles and responsibilities are fairly the same! I completely understand your concern, though, and I appreciate it a lot. ;; A bit ago, I could sense Sol had a concern similar to yours as well, but when I vented to them about how I felt it's wrong having these feelings and thoughts and I felt guilty + ashamed about them, Sol told me as long as the dynamic M and I have are comfortable and healthy for us, then what we have should be okay! But I think I'm in a safe position! I don't think he's the kind of person to hurt me in any form and degree, not after everything he had done for and said to me thus far.
#✉️#🧧#I believe M is genuinely a good man#he built a snowman with me 'cause he knew I'd be happy to make one and helped me flesh out my culinary skills more with making a hotpot#he's ALWAYS checking on me health wise and making sure I'm okay#etc etc#it's hard for me to see he'd have any negative motives with me so I think I should be okay with him!#also he did ask me if I was offended / uncomfortable in terms of personal questions he'd ask me#and that's a very important thing to me ( and Sol ) because it shows he's aware that his actions + words can affect me negatively#so that's another reason why I can trust him#I am giving you a virtual hug ;w; - thank you so much for expressing your concern! <333#again I appreciate it a lot and you're definitely not being presumptuous at all!#the world can be scary full of scary people so I get it :c we all gotta be careful even if those positive interactions are nice to have#everything is all good though :> I think also that M is fully aware of all that he's been doing and saying but in a positive light#I can see he just wants me to be happy and successful and healthy in the end ; and I'll appreciate that always ♡
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hi, just writing this quick little post that if you ever wanted to interact with me/send me a little something, you are more than welcome to <3 i'd be excited to start writing with any of you! i do apologize for not reblogging enough rp prompts or rp starters though, i'll try to do it more in the future! :]
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"I don't think I could have the relationship with you that you have with me," she said. She was very casual about it, and I was immediately on the defensive.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked.
She put the book she'd been reading down. "It's just, the way you've described it, and the vibe that I get, I don't think I could do it how you do it."
"I still don't know what that means," I said.
"You're always doing this like ... micro calculation thing," she said. "You weigh your words. You try to time things. You have never once called me up while I was at work, or asked me for something when it was inconvenient for me, and you check and double check that you're not being a nuisance."
"And ... that's bad?" I asked.
"No, I love that about you," she said. "It's very kind and considerate. I know that if I tell you I'm not in the mood to hang out, you'll apologize and not push it. If you suggest that we get pizza and I say I'd rather have Korean BBQ, you fold instantly and we get Korean BBQ. I like that. I get the things I want. But it seems like an exhausting way to deal with people."
"I want you to be happy," I said with a small voice.
"I am happy," she replied. "You're great. You remember when we first got together I was like 'hey, look, if you want pizza, we can get pizza, it's just not what I'm in the mood for', and you kept insisting that you didn't care, that you would rather have me follow my needs? And I just thought, 'you know, maybe I should just trust that's what they actually feel'. And it is, as far as I can tell. There's not some secret part of you that wants me to break your way."
"You think I'm ... a simpering coward?" I asked. Even as I said it, it felt too accusatory, the wrong thing to say in the situation.
"Whoa, no, not at all," she laughed. "I think you do all that stuff because ... I don't know, you want to? Because otherwise why would you do it? It's how you are with every aspect of your life, you're a tryhard. I mean you said to me that you wanted to reclaim the term. Your relationship with me is that you're a tryhard (affectionate)."
"And you're ... not?" I asked.
"I'm not that way with anyone," she replied. "You know why I hang out with you so much? It's 'cause I like you. Most days, I am very much in the mood for you, and if you ask for a meetup, I'll say yes, and if you don't ask for one, then I'll ask you first. And for you ..."
"What?" I asked.
"It's like ... you're keeping track," she said. "You want to make sure that you're not sending me more messages than I'm sending you. You're balancing social micro stuff that I don't pay attention to. You're consciously monitoring how much each of us has said and making sure it's the right number of words or whatever."
"It's really not about the number of words," I replied. "It's more ... making sure that social and emotional labor is equitable, that there's a good rhythm to the conversation. I don't think you'd get good results by tracking word count."
"But see, I don't do any of that," she said. "I talk because I feel like talking. I listen when you need to vent because I like you and it feels good to give you an outlet. I mean you are undoubtedly putting in a bunch of work, and for me, there's no work. That's all I meant, really."
"You've thought about it," I said.
"Oh, I'm just reading this book, and there are two characters like us in it, and I was like 'yes, exactly', and then 'that would not work for me'." She shrugged.
"And if I stopped 'putting in the work'?" I asked. "Would we still be ... friends?"
"See, I don't know," she said. "Because that's never who you've been. You're asking me if I would still be friends with you if you changed your personality and how we interact with each other. Maybe? Probably? Who knows? Maybe we'd be better friends somehow. Maybe we're just two basically compatible people, and every time you've ever worried about anything it would actually have been completely fine."
"Or maybe it's load-bearing," I said.
"Maybe!" she replied with a smile that slowly faded. "You okay?"
"I'm thinking," I said. I didn't know if I could verbalize what I was thinking in a way that would be palatable.
"Do you not like being this way with me?" she asked. "Because I have never asked you to. I've made my preferences known, but if you've been bending yourself into knots and feeling a burden, then ..."
"No," I said, because I knew it was what she wanted to hear. "No, I like the way things are between us."
"Good," she smiled. "I do too."
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