#but i will be using the decision wheel more often for my giffing ideas

[darling-i-read-it]

Already Married

Rick Flag x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: spoilers for suicide squad except i ignore that one decision the writers made you know the one, violence,

Author’s Note: this ended up being longer than I thought it would be but I was rewatching the movie while I watched it and ugh im such a whore for rick flag so here you go I hope you enjoy :)

Requested: by anon, Hi Dear, first of all I want to say I love your Rick x Reader Oneshot :) I like the idea that the reader and Rick lead Task Force X together. Unfortunately there aren't many of these... But what do you think about the idea that Rick and the Reader are secretly married? I mean they could be officially just be together/dating but keep the marriage a secret because of Waller? This woman is mean and she would definitely use it against the two... And the Squad finds out by accident on Corto Maltese? And again... I'm the anon that just asked about the secret marriage with Rick 😅 But I hadn't any more words. I just wanted to say it would be nice to read your version of this or anything about Rick and the Reader 😊 Looking forward to read more of your Flag. Thanks ;)

Summary: the request

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif) ('walk please!' 'no no no you gotta go like this. WALLLKKKK')

Your eyes opened slowly to the blaring sound of Rick’s alarm. He had five more alarms set then you did which meant you had to get up and turn them off. You slammed your hand over it and looked up at the dark ceiling.

It was too early for this.

You rubbed your eyes and kicked the blanket off of you. You sat up and slid so you were sitting on the side of the bed as you got yourself together. Today was going to be tough. Painfully tough. You hated working for Waller but hey, at least you were keeping the world safe while you complained.

Rick reached over the side of the bed and grabbed your hand. He groaned, face half in the pillow. You looked back at him and hummed in question. The noise came out of your throat a little rough from sleep.

“Stay. Five more minutes.” You shook your head gently but his eyes weren’t open. You brought his hand to your lips gently.

“We gotta go.”

“Says who?”

“Me.” He groaned even louder and picked up his head. You met eyes sleepily and he let your hand go to sit up. You stood up and stretched. “Don’t forget to leave your ring,” you muttered.

���If I’m gonna die I want to die with my wedding ring on,” he grumbled. The two of you weren’t even officially dating in the eyes of your jobs. You knew that if you were, Waller would use it against you. She could blackmail either of you. You couldn’t let her know you were even friends. So you opted to get married in secret and keep working.

“Yeah well don’t die then.”

===

You did a headcount as everyone got on the plane.

“Where’s Harley?” you asked Rick who was standing beside you. Everyone else was mostly strapped in. Even the damn weasel. Rick looked out the plane door.

“She’s coming.”

“Sorry I’m late everybody! I had to go number 2,” she said with that large smile on her face. “Flag.” She gave him a salute. “Y/L/N.” She kissed your cheek. You rolled your eyes.

“Go sit down Harls.”

“Aye aye ma’am.” She popped down on her seat. You looked everyone over and nodded to yourself.

“That’s everyone,” you told Rick.

“Good. Wheels up in five!” he called. You went to find your seat at the front. You couldn’t believe Waller set you up with these people. They all seemed a little more crazy then the usual bunch. You sighed. At least you had Harley.

Rick came and strapped in beside you. You ignored the chatter of everyone else in the plane. You often did.

“This sounds like suicide,” you muttered.

“Well I’d hate for you to find out what this team was originally called,” he joked. You laughed and nudged him. He gazed at you but you forced yourself to look away.

Harley watched quietly as the two of you fought to hide your relationship. She had her inklings. Granted she was the only one who was around the two of you very often so she was allowed to have those inklings. That look on Rick’s face said it all.

Man to have a love like that, she thought.

Then the weasel screeched, breaking her out of her thoughts.

===

The trip to Corto Maltese was a rough one and once you arrived it didn’t get much better. Most of the team was massacred and you and Rick were taken by the Maltese Resistance. Harley was taken elsewhere.

You rubbed your shoulder. A woman named Sol Soria had taken you in and helped you out. She gave you food and medical assistance. You stood behind Rick, rubbing his bare shoulder as you double checked his wound they had wrapped up.

“I’m alright,” he promised. You scoffed.

“That was awful Commander Flag. Forgive me for double checking,” you joked. He rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Sol watched the two of you, having just learned your names and status. She didn’t mind that you were there. She was hoping that it meant she would get extra help to take out Luna.

She broke her eyes away.

“Thank you again,” Rick said to her. She nodded stiffly.

“Of course. My men and I were happy to find you alive.” You leaned against Rick’s back, lost in thought. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the men you had lost. They were criminals and most of them were awful people but they were still people. You just hoped that Harley had made it somewhere safe. It was no secret that she was your favorite of the bunch.

You were running your hand over Ricks tatto sleeve.

“Would you mind if I ask you a question?” she aside. That caught your attention again. You and Rick both nodded.

“Shoot,” Rick said.

“Are you two married?” You choked on your own saliva. Rick laughed awkwardly. You quickly took your hand off his shoulder and smiled stiffly.

“No!” you said.

“No. No, of course not,” he said. She gave you two a look and you breathed out a sigh.

“Congrats. You’re one of the few people who know,” you muttered. She smiled to herself a bit. She knew war far too well. It was nice to see love too.

“Trying to keep it a secret from your superior?” Rick nodded.

“So we would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.”

“Word of advice?” You nodded. “Stop acting like a married couple.” You both laughed dryly. You stepped further away from him.

“Noted.”

===

Harley grabbed your arm and moved you aside as Bloodsport ran past you. You were setting up bombs on the building, checking to make sure that the damn starfish would get blown up soon. You turned back around.

“Where’s Rick?” you asked, panic in your voice.

“He’s with Peacemaker!” she called, dragging you along. You shook your head, a worried pit in your stomach.

“I’m going to go get him.” Harley turned around to you and Bloodsport stopped completely.

“We don’t have time for you to be sentimental,” he said. You shook Harley’s arm and turned around.

“It’s emotional,” you argued. You handed Harley the rest of your bombs. “I won’t be long. You’re in charge.” She smiled.

“Yes!” She was too distracted to run after you and honestly, she didn’t have the heart anyway. You were worried. She knew the feeling. Bloodsport called after you but he was already running up.

You quickly rushed down the stairs, checking your watch. You had everyone’s tracker there. It was easy to find Rick from it, his little yellow icon flashing in your face. You shoved open the door, seeing Thinker at the edge of a large circular glass window. Your eyebrows furrowed as you saw Peacemaker, his gun raised to Rick. You stayed very still.

“Listen, it’s nothing personal,” Peacemaker said.

“Holding a gun on me is pretty fucking personal,” Rick said, appraoching him. You quickly hid behind the door so they didn’t know you were there. Rick could probably handle this. Yeah.

He could handle it.

You waited a second, your thoughts louder than their words. But at the sound of a scuffle you turned around.

He couldn’t handle this.

You shoot Peacemaker once in the back and then again. It gave Rick the upper hand to pin him. You rushed over to help him, crushing Peacemaker’s toilet seat of a helmet on his own face. He went limp.

“Peacemaker,” Rick muttered. “What a joke.” You turned to look at him.

“Wasn’t about to let you die without your wedding ring. Or in that shirt,” you joked. “You okay?”

“Just fine,” he said. He held up some sort of card. “I’ve got what Waller tried to hide from us. They were involved in this project from the beginning.” Your face went hard.

“Is this gonna make us lose our jobs Rick?”

“I don’t think I like this job anyway.” He dipped his head and kissed you passionately. You molded into his chest for a moment before forcing yourself to pull away.

“We’ll finish that later. Right now, let’s go save the damn world.”

Ratcatcher 2 watched from the other room eagerly as he held you close to his chest. She smiled brightly, dust in her hair. She got up clumsily, making noise and causing both of you to step away.

“How much of that did you hear?” you called. She shrugged.

“Enough.”

“We would appreciate it if you didn’t-” he started but she shook his head, that ghost of a smile on her face.

“We have to go save the world, remember?”

====

The large starfish fell, thanks to Harley, a spear, and a shit ton of rats. You were happy to see the damn thing go. You brushed your hair out of your face, breathing heavily, your gun still steaming. You turned to Bloodsport who was closest to you and smiled brightly.

Harley came tumbling down, covered in gunk.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess we did it,” Bloodsport said. Harley raised her spear.

“Hell yeah we did!” Harley called. You hopped off the rock you were standing on and Harley ran up to you. She threw her arms around you, laughing. You gagged, pushing her off, though you were laughing too.

“You stink Harls.” You looked around, unable to find Rick in all the rubble and people.

“Oh come on!”

“Harls, you see Rick?”

“Flag? No, not since earlier.” Your breathing started to pick up as you searched with your eyes, turning in circles. You hadn’t had your eyes on him the whole time. You assumed he could handle himself. Bloodsport went up to Ratcatcher, seeing how she and the rats were doing. You turned around, finally seeing Rick come out of the rubble. He wobbled up to you, coughing up some smoke. You ran up to him, throwing your arms around him.

You let out a loud sigh of relief.

You pulled away enough to kiss him harshly. His eyes went wide and then he settled into your lips, holding you around the waist.

Harley cheered.

“Finally! Finally!” she yelled. You pulled away slowly, still a little shaken from having thought you had lost him. You turned around but he kept his hand in yours.

“Shush Harley.”

“We’ve been making bets this whole time when you would make out,” Bloodsport said, walking closer to you.

“And I win,” Ratcatcher said.

“No, I win. I said it would be when we defeated the starfish,” Bloodsport said. Ratcacher shook her head smiling.

“I said they had already done it,” she said. “They’re married.” You gave her a hard look. Harley’s face lit up.

“No!” she said, smiling brightly. She ran up to you. “You got married?!”

“It was supposed to be a secret,” Rick said.

“Well it ain’t anymore!” Harley said. “How long? Was it nice? Why wasn’t I invited? Is it because I was in prison cause that’s no excuse.” You laughed and shook your head.

“It was just us. Trying to hide from Waller.” She nodded.

“Well then that’s a decent excuse. Oh!” She grabbed your hands. “How was the honeymoon?” she whispered.

“Harley, we have to be at the rendezvous point,” Rick said. He started to walk away. “But it was great, for your information.” You rolled your eyes.

“I wanna hear that from the lady.” You scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah,” you said. “It was pretty great.” Harley giggled. Her and the rest of the remaining team started to follow Rick away. You caught up with Rick, walking beside him.

“I guess we’re made,” he muttered. You smiled and reached into your pocket. You pulled out your wedding ring which you kept in a very tight zipped up pocket. You handed it to him and took his out of your pocket as well. He laughed heartily. “Why’d you bring these?”

“Had a bad feeling about this one. If you had died back there with Peacemaker I would have put your ring on your finger.”

“And if you had died?”

“You would’ve found it.” You extended your left hand. He met your eyes with a loving gaze. He slipped the band onto your wedding finger. You gestured for his finger and he held it up for you. You put his ring on as well.

Harley ran up behind the two of you.

“Lemmee see the diamond!” You laughed and showed it to her. She awed, smiling. “Awe, I’m so happy I could cry!” She pointed at Rick. “But if you ever hurt her I will gut you from the inside out.” Rick raised an eyebrow.

“Noted.”

You grabbed his hand as you walked to the plane. Harley fell back to talk to the others. He raised your intertwined hands and kissed the back of your palm. You flushed and rolled your eyes.

“Stop it. This is why we couldn’t tell Waller in the first place.”

“We had a good reason. You’re so damn distracting when I’m allowed to kiss you.” You shoved him but just as quickly let him wrap his arms around you as you walked to safety.

[catxsnow]

LET’S HAVE A BABY B.W.

Request: hi idk if ur requests are open but i saw ur post for bruce wayne! can you do a bruce wayne x reader where they take young damian to a school fair or event and they get to watch him be a kid and then bruce is like "fuck it let's have another kid" and it's all fluff and lovey idk it just seems so sweet ily.

Warning: fluff

A/N: This was just... the cutest fucking request... Thank you for sending it in I loved writing it 

GIF not mine

Word count: 1.9k

Damian Wayne might not have been the best at people skills, but he sure as hell was one amazing soccer player. After you and Bruce had him enrolled in school, you thought it was a good idea for him to join a sports team as well. He was already so athletically built, it made sense for him to do something fun with it.

So, as much as he grumbled about having to join a stupid team to waste his time and lessen his activities as Robin, he found himself enjoying the sport. It was a good way for him to let out his frustration without someone getting maimed or injured (mostly). And even though he didn't like his teammates that much, he tolerated them enough that he could learn from them.

It was great to see him enjoy himself so much. Ever since he arrived at your home, you didn't see him have fun very often. He was always a serious boy and as much as you tried to make him feel welcomed, he was always so cold. Attending his soccer games would at least show him some support - he appreciated it even if he didn't show it.

It took a long time for Damian to finally warm up to you. Once he did though, there was no stopping his unconditional love for you. If anyone dared to insult you, or the press put a bad word towards you, he was there to make sure that they knew that they were wrong. He wanted everyone to think of you highly.

You and Bruce had gotten married not long after he told you that he was Batman. He knew that he didn't want to spend his life with anyone else other than you. You supported him in his decisions, cared for him when he needed you the most, and no matter what the city of Gotham or his own friends thought of him, you were there with him threw it all.

Bruce wasn't perfect, you knew this. He had made lots of mistakes in his life but if there was one thing that you admired most about him, it was that he always was ready to learn from them. Bruce was the love of your life and no matter the kind of mistakes he made, you loved all of his flaws.

On Saturday morning, you, Bruce, and Damian were all loaded up in one of your many cars to take him to his soccer game. While Damian sat quietly in the back, you could tell that he was buzzing with excitement. You never expected him to enjoy the sport so much, but you were glad that he did.

Bruce kept one hand on the wheel and reached over to intertwine you fingers with the other. He brought your hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it. After years of being together, he still craved to touch you in any way possible. In public, he was always grasping your hand or you would have your arm looped around his.

Never in your life would you have thought that the great Batman would have such a need to be close to the one he loved. You guessed that he had already had so many close calls with the people he cared about that he wasn't willing to risk you getting close to the same fate. Bruce loved you more than he had ever loved before.

You were the person that drove him to be better. You were the reason that he got up in the morning. You were the reason that he pushed himself so hard to keep this city safe.

As soon as the car was parked, Damian leaped out of it with his duffel bag over his shoulder and was already running towards the field. You couldn't help but giggle at his excitement.

"Did you ever think Damian would get so excited about something so... normal when he arrived to the Manor?" You asked Bruce as the two of you got out of the car. It was a beautiful sunny day out and you couldn't be more happy to be outside to enjoy it.

"Not even close," Bruce shook his head. He grasped your hand once more as the two of you walked over to the bleachers set up for all the other parents. "I think you changed him a lot. He's so much more easy going then he once was. He looks up to you in ways that he'll never look up to me."

"Guess that's the motherly instincts inside me," you beamed up at him. Bruce stopped walking to kiss you. The eyes of all the other parents were gazing at you and those of them that weren't, certainly were now. As much as you loved Bruce Wayne, you didn't love his publicity and fame. "Everyone's watching us."

"Good," Bruce smirked. He was never shy when it came to showing his love towards you. After being the billionaire playboy for so long, he was used to having people stare at him with girls on his arm. Now, he had his beautiful wife and the only person that he ever truly fell in love with to show off.

"Come on, my love," you tugged on his hand before he could make even more of a scene. The two of you sat right at the front and away from anyone else. Sunglasses rested over your eyes from the glare of the hot sun. "I sometimes miss being so normal like this," you admitted to him.

The life you lived before meeting Bruce was a humble one. He was never used to wondering if bills could be paid that month or having to take the bus to work. Living a life of lavish made you forget your roots sometimes. Being able to sit on the uncomfortable metal bleachers with all these other parents made you remember what it used to be like.

"You're free to leave me any day," Bruce joked. You smacked his chest lightly. He knew that there wasn't a chance that you would ever leave him. You loved him too much to even consider it.

The whistle from the ref blew and the game started. Damian was on the field, his jersey tucked into his shorts and his socks so high they nearly covered his knees. He looked like a regular kid out there. It was a small bit of life that you wished for him. The concentration on his face and the hint of a smile on his lips told you and Bruce that he was enjoying himself.

"We should take him out for ice cream after, it's hot out today," you offered. Gotham city was never kind with its weather, the days that it was truly nice out were the days that you would never be caught inside. Even when Bruce refused to leave his cave and enjoy the son.

"You mean, you want to go get ice cream later," Bruce raised an eyebrow at you. He knew you too well. You shrugged, pretending like you had no idea what he was talking about. Bruce only rolled his eyes at you, but agreed. "We can go, only if Damian wants to." You pouted at his response.

If there was one thing that Bruce Wayne couldn't resist, it was your pout. The second that your bottom lip stuck out, he swooped down to kiss you. "Fine, we'll go either way," he changed his mind. You grinned at him.

Bruce's eyes darted over to the field. Damian had gotten the ball and was darting down the field all while managing to dodge all the defense. He had been bumped up a league when he tried out for the team, it wasn't fair to the other kids with his skills. Even now, he was managing to dodge and weave with all kinds of miraculous tricks that he had never learned during practice.

Damian had passed all the defense and was closing in on the goalie. He was incredible, it was like nothing could stop him. Even the goalie looked nervous as he approached. With a final move, Damian kicked the soccer ball right in the net with it just barely missing the mitts of the goalie.

"Whoo!" You stood up and cheered, unable to contain yourself. "Go Damian! That's my son!" The words passed your lips before you could stop them. Damian wasn't your son, he never referred to you as his mother and you never called him your son before. Damian had a mother, even if she was a terrible one.

You expected Damian to look over at you with a scowl on his lips at your cheer. However, when he locked eyes on you, with his father looking up at you with pride, he couldn't help but beam a smile at you.

Damian ran back to his team, accepting the hi-gives that they were giving him. You might not have been his mother, but hearing you say that he was showed how much you cared about him. It didn't matter if you weren't related by blood, you cared more about him than his real mother did.

You sat back down in your seat with a sheepish look on your face. Bruce grabbed your hand once more, this time playing with your wedding ring. He was just as surprised as you were to call Damian your own child. It had a nice sound to it though, one that he could get used to hearing.

"I'm sorry," You mumbled.

"For what?" Bruce furrowed his eyebrows at your sudden apology.

"Damian isn't my son. Thalia is his mother, I know that," You sighed. Bruce threw his arm around you shoulder and kissed the top of your head. There was no reason for you to feel bad about this. Damian was obviously pleased by your affection, you had nothing to worry about. Yet, you did.

"Let's have our own baby," Bruce suddenly stated. He had adopted so many kids that he always just assumed that you were content with the family you had been given. However, the more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he would love to have a little kid with both your genes in their veins.

"What?" You asked, shocked by his offer. He never spoke of wanting his own kid to raise. Damian was unexpected, he didn't even know about him for over a decade. You always assumed Bruce was just too busy to have an infant to take care of as well.

"Let's have a baby," Bruce said once more. The biggest smile that he had ever seen lit up your face. Your hands grasped the side of his face and you pulled him in for a kiss, not caring that everyone was watching you once more. "I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, Bruce," You grinned. The idea of having your own child with him excited you more than anything else. Taking care of Dick and the others was always something that you loved, but it wasn't the same as having your own child. You never got to see them born or their first steps.

There was no one else in the world that you wanted to have a kid with. Bruce was the love of your life, with his flaws, his crazy life, everything.

"Let's get started on that tonight."

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Adam Maitland

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous) 

(I would most definitely write about your meeting story and him having a crush on you in more detail, if anyone's interested.)

- You met Adam while applying for a job at his shop. He was delightfully surprised when a pretty little thing like you walked in and inquired about the help wanted sign out front. His face immediately brightened and he ushered you into the back for an impromptu interview. 

- There weren’t many applicants to begin with and after seeing you, he just couldn’t get you out of his head so he decided that he had no choice but to hire you; and boy was he glad he did. 

- The two of you act more like friends or flirty coworkers than a boss and his employee. Adam is a fun guy to be around, he doesn’t usually take things to seriously, and the shop is never very busy so you have a lot of time to goof off with each other.

- Since you’re the only two people working there, you spend a lot of time together and become close fairly quickly. By the end of your first month on the job, you consider him a friend and he considers you his dream woman. 

- He asks you out about three or four months after he hires you. He doesn’t want you to think that you only got the job because he’s interested in you and he wants to make sure that he really does like you, the whole you, before he jumps to any decision.

- But anyways~ The two of you were closing up shop when he asked if you’d like to have dinner with him. Adam’s a handsome man, a sweet handsome man who treats you better than anyone you’ve ever met, so; even though dating your boss may not be the best idea you’ve ever had, you take the plunge and agree. 

- He comes to pick you up at around six and, in no time at all, the two of you are sat at his dining room table, eating a delicious home cooked meal.

- In the middle of dinner, his models come up in conversation and he shyly asks if you’d like to see them after you express interest in his work. Soon enough, you’re traveling up his stairs and entering the attic where he’s got the whole city display. He loves the way your eyes light up upon seeing it, especially after he turns on all of the lights. 

- He laughs quietly and shrugs when you call it amazing, modestly downplaying how talented he is. But you won’t allow that, insisting that “No, really. It’s wonderful” and quietly adding that he’s really wonderful.

- When you turn to look him, he’s gazing at you with a much more serious expression on his face; serious but soft at the same time. Your eyes meet his and you stand still as he slowly closes the distance between the two of you.

- His face nears yours until his lips are only inches away from yours. He hesitates for a lingering moment before he finally leans forward and kisses you. It’s gentle at first but it soon turns into something much more passionate, your arms wrapping around his neck as his hands splay themselves across your back.

- When you pull away, you’re both near breathless and aren’t sure of what to say. He breaks the silence by cracking a small smile and suggesting that maybe the two of you should keep the shop closed tomorrow. All you can do is smile, shake your head, and pull him into another kiss.

- Formal and sweet Pda. Adam likes showing people that you’re together; and just giving you affection in general, but he doesn’t like getting too intimate when you’re in public. 

- When Pda is happening, it’s that juvenile, puppy-love type of pda where you’re just always smiling at each other, exchanging quick kisses and lovingly touching each other. 

- He has a slightly strange fondness for being able to fix things on you for you, like if you have something on your face or your hairs getting in the way; things like that. He’ll gently sort it out, a small smile tugging at his lips the entire time. 

- He likes keeping his arm around your waist. He’s practically always glued to your side because of it. 

- Handholding. He has a habit of reaching out and grabbing for you whenever he can. 

- Neck kisses, he adores hearing you giggle as his lips tickle your skin. He knows all of your sensitive spots and uses them against you; he’s evil. 

- Piggyback rides. 

- He likes to lift you up in his hugs. A lot of the time, he’ll pull you up so that you can wrap your legs around his waist and he can plop you down on something beneath him and kiss the hell out of you.

- The two of you like to goof of with each other, always teasing and messing around. He’s pretty fond of playing little tricks/jokes on you and/or fake wrestling, though he makes sure to be gentle with you. 

- Getting pulled into kisses. He likes pulling you down into his lap or back against the couch and caging you in so he can get a proper smooch. 

- Once you get one kiss, you can’t get enough. He won’t let you go until he’s had at least three. 

- He enjoys nights in with you over any other kind of date. He likes simplicity and is a bit of an introvert at heart so being able to just have some relaxing alone time with you is a dream come true. 

- Pulling off his glasses so you can kiss him better. He always smiles against your lips whenever you do, he thinks it’s the greatest. 

- Getting called things like honey, hon, and sweetheart. He talks to you like he’s your1950s husband, and you know what? You can’t complain. 

- Sitting with your legs in his lap whenever you’re talking or watching television on the couch. 

- Sitting and watching him work on his models. Sometimes he’ll ask you to help him or to fetch him something that he needs from the other side of the room. You always get a kiss in return. 

- Cute comments. He always says the sweetest things to you. 

- He’s sorta clingy. It doesn’t matter what either of you are doing, he just likes having you around him at all times. He can never get enough of your company. 

- He’s a blanket hog and; oftentimes, tosses and turns in his sleep so the two of you don’t really stay cuddled for long. But when you fall asleep, you’re either cradled in each others arms or being the little spoon to his big spoon. 

- Playful massages when you’re stressed. He’ll place a kiss on your shoulder while making a joke, moving his strong hands across your shoulders and trying to ease the tension that resides there. 

- He’s always making sure you’re alright and comforting you when you’ve had a rotten day. He hates seeing you upset and always tries his best to cheer you up. 

- You never have to feel insecure about something when you’re around him. He loves you; every messed up and flawed part of you. 

- Lets hear it for all you tall girls who are reading this~ Adam loves you. He’s six foot himself so it isn’t an issue for him; not that it would bother him if he was shorter. 

- Chasing each other around the house. 

- Getting each other gifts for random occasions. 

- Sitting by the fire together. 

- Dancing; albeit clumsily, with each other.

- Stealing his flannels. His frustration upon finding them missing immediately disappears when he walks in on you wearing them. 

- Taking walks around town. He has a lot of friends in the town and always says hello to them whenever he’s out with you so people are usually very kind to you, even if you haven’t ever really spoken to them before. 

- Drive-in movies. He’s very fond of them, especially when they play oldies. 

- Going out and getting milkshakes; there’s an old diner in town that he loves bringing you to. I don’t know, something about him just screams adorably old fashioned, at least when it comes to dating.

- You’ll never have to worry about dealing with spiders on your own again. He genuinely likes them and not the small, baby one’s either, we’re talking the huge, hairy ones that could make a person pass out from fear. 

- He owns a hardware store so you know he knows how to fix whatever's wrong with your house. Picture this~ Adam in a tank top and jeans, hair a mess, and a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead and arms. …What more could a woman ask for? 

- He isn’t the most fond of driving so you’re probably the one who takes the keys when the two of you go somewhere. He likes taking the time to watch you, the way your face changes, the shape of your hands wrapped around the steering wheel. How did he manage to get the most beautiful girl on the planet? 

- Soft, sweet kisses. He’s usually pretty gentle with you but he can definitely get a little rougher when things get heated. 

- Teasing each other. He likes saying jokingly hypocritical things and covering your mouth or insisting that “it’s different” when you try to correct him, all the while failing to hold back his laughter.

- Talking about conspiracy theories and cryptids. He believes in bigfoot, we all know that, but what else does he believe in? What do you believe in? He wants to know. 

- Little drives around town. He likes going out and getting some fresh air with you, sometimes running errands or just wandering for the sake of wandering.  

- He’s a pushover for you. Anything you want will; most likely, be given to you just because he can’t look you in your beautiful eyes and say no. 

- You don't really expect it from him but Adam can get surprisingly jealous when it comes to you though you live in a somewhat small town so there isn’t too many people to be jealous of. Regardless, when he’s jealous, he’ll interrupt and drag you away from the person or snap at them, especially if they don’t get the hint. 

- He’s when it comes to you, always butting in when he see’s someone or something is bothering you and taking matters into his own hands. He’ll bluntly tell them to buzz off, leaving no room for negotiation as he steers you away from them or blocks their access to you. 

- He’s your rock. Whenever you’re scared, all you’ll have to do is grab hold of him and he’ll take the lead, acting tough so that you feel a little reassurance, even if he’s just as scared as you are.

- You and Adam don’t really fight all too often, he’s completely smitten with you so everything you do is wonderful to him. Plus, you just get along really well so there really isn’t anything to argue about.

- If you ever did have a fight, you’d probably just bicker, maybe raise your voices a little; mainly out of frustration or stress from outside forces. After a little bit of arguing, he’d snap his mouth shut and just go “this is stupid” before calmly trying to explain himself. 

- As I said before, Adam usually realizes that the fights you have are sort of pointless and shuts them down fairly quickly. He’ll apologize for whatever it is he did to upset you and then try to reason with you like “two adults”. It doesn't take long before the issue is resolved. 

- The two of you always seem to be in that puppy love/honeymoon stage no matter how long you’ve been together so saying “I love you” is very commonplace in your relationship. He’s constantly saying it and so are you; its just how the two of you are with each other. 

- I have to say this~ he would be the best dad in the universe and that’s a fact. You saw the way he was with Lydia, he’s the adorable, push-over, goofy dad that you can always trust to help you.

- He’s already planning your future together. He loves you with all his heart and probably bought a ring a month into your relationship, already convinced that you were the one. 

[saventhhaven]

Beat Them at Their Own Game

Pairing: Dean x reader

Tags: hunting, irritated!Dean, amused!Sam

Word Count: 996

(Gif not mine)

Smoke was practically erupting from Dean's ears as he stomped down the walkway to the Impala, the door to the police station slamming closed behind him.

"I can't believe this," he growled. "I can't friggin' believe it!" Sam was hot on his brother's heels, and for once, he didn't try to appease his anger. "Fucking ridiculous," he continued to mutter under his breath as they neared the car. When Sam climbed into the passenger seat, Dean had his phone pressed up against his ear.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm calling her," Dean snapped back. Sam's eyes widened as he frowned and reached for the small device.

"What? No, don't-" Wordlessly, the elder Winchester held up a hand to stop him, making sure to hold the phone out of his reach. Sam sighed. His older brother had always been far more hotheaded than himself, and that often led him to make decisions that could be perceived as... unwise. Jamming his finger down on the screen, Dean put the call on speaker, so Sam could hear.

"Come on, you asshole," Dean muttered as the line continued to ring. Finally, it stopped. Sam breathed a sigh of relief. At least she hadn't picked up. No good could come from calling her, and he knew that, but Dean was stubborn, and wasn't thinking clearly.

"Let's just go home, and-" When Sam was interrupted by the sound of another call being made, his head snapped over in disbelief.

"Dude, seriously!" Again, Dean held up a hand at him. This time when the ringing stopped, her voice came through.

"Dean Winchester," Y/N said tiredly. "To what do I owe the pleasure this time?" Dean's scowl deepened as his chest puffed up with indignation.

"You know exactly why I'm calling!" Dean shouted into the receiver. "You made us look like idiots!" Y/N chuckled over the line.

"Well, as sure as I am that you two are fully capable of looking like idiots all on your own, I honestly have no idea why you're blowing up my phone. Enlighten me, would you?" When Dean only stuttered in response, Sam leaned in to take over.

"The poltergeist?" He prompted. "With the sheriff's daughter?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I took care of that case a couple of days ago when I was passing through town. So?" Dean trembled slightly.

"'So?'" he repeated. "We looked like fucking morons in there, Y/N! Sam and I have been following this case for a week!" Dean turned to his younger brother, who was eyeing him nervously. "Sam, how do you think it made us look when we went in to question the sheriff, and the case had already been taken care of?" Sam had seen his brother angry many times before, but Y/N brought Dean to levels that he honestly hadn't thought possible.

"...pretty stupid," he finally admitted.

"Exactly!" Again, Y/N chuckled, which only made Dean more pissed.

"Look, boys," she said with a sigh. "I just did what needed to be done. I took care of a case before anyone else died. That's what we do, right?" As much as Sam hated to admit it, she was right. "It's not my fault you were a little slow on the uptake." But then again, she was also a smug asshole, and he refused to admit anything. Y/N working a case the boys were tracking could have been an honest mistake. But this was Y/N they were talking about, and this wasn't the first time she had done this. Dean took in a sharp breath through his nose. Sam leaned away, sensing the impending outburst.

"We are not-" Clenching and unclenching his jaw, the green-eyed Winchester closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, steadying himself. "Listen. Y/N. I know you're a hunter - a good hunter. Otherwise, you wouldn't be hunting alone. But I also know that you're watching us, and taking our cases!"

"Ha!" she barked. "You wish I was that interested in you, Winchester." The blush that rose up on Dean's cheeks didn't go unnoticed by his younger brother. Sam raised his eyebrows questioningly at him, earning a death glare in return.

"Okay," Dean continued. "I don't know what you have against Sam and me, or why you're so hell-bent on beating us to a case-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there," Y/N cut him off. "Whenever you're ready to quit beating around the bush and take me out for a drink already, then we'll talk. All right? But until then, I would appreciate it if you kept your false accusations to yourself." Sam's irritation melted into amusement as he watched Dean splutter in frustration. Him liking Y/N was a possibility he had never considered before, but now that he was thinking about it... "I'll tell you what," she started again, "you can even pick the bar."

"I don't-" Dean stammered. Another soft chuckle came over the phone.

"Bye, boys." With that, the line went dead, leaving the Winchesters in total silence. After a few moments, Dean tossed his cellphone into the backseat irritably as he let out a loud groan.

"I hate her," he stated seriously. Sam's eyebrows crept even closer to his hairline.

"Well?" His brother glared at him.

"Well, what?"

"Are you going to ask her out?" Dean turned the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life.

"Hell, no." When Dean put the car in drive, he began to grumble to himself. "Ask her out. No way." Still, his foot rested heavily on the brake as he squinted out the windshield, obviously deep in thought. Sam fought back a smile. He could practically see the wheels turning in his head. The gearshift clicked as Dean put the car back into park, unbuckling his seatbelt as he reached around into the backseat. He growled loudly. "Where did my damn phone go?"

"What happened to not asking her out?" Sam teased. Dialing the number into his phone, Dean shook his head.

"Shut up."

Thank you so much for reading!

As always, links to my taglist, masterlist, and inbox (requests are open!) are in my bio.

Taglist:

@cole-winchester​ @alexwinchester23​ @1-am-made-of-stardust​ @thorukindig​ @fiftyshadesoffandom6783​ @hobby27​ @supernaturalenchanted​ @youshrimpdickfucknugget​ 

[somethinwickedthiswayrides]

If this is something you’d enjoy writing, maybe something where Sean, Charles, and Kieran all like the same person and they have something like a handshake and agree to all have a cordial agreement that whoever wins, there will be no hard feelings. Then it’s a war of asking for dances, dates, trying to get their attention

I’m not going to lie, when I first read this ask I had literally just woken up, rolled over to check my phone, hadn’t even put on my glasses yet, and I thought you were asking for them to have a giant dance battle for the readers affection. Made me laugh, then I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and put on my glasses and reread the thing and went, ‘oh, that makes so much more sense’

Sorry this took so long, literally about two and a half days of me slowly working on this. Due to that, this is a LONG one, over 1700 words. So please fasten your seatbelts cause we are going for a ride!

Reader is implied female, but no pronouns (I think), so gender neutral?

(I know John and Abigail aren’t in his but this gif is just too cute!)

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

Sean would be the first to notice that he has feelings for you.

He falls fast, but not really hard.

At least not at first.

He'd be the most obvious about it too, constant flirting, trying to get you to laugh.

Maybe cheekily asking for kisses.

But there would be times where the two of you would be swapping stories about your pasts, or about family, or anything in particular.

The longer he hangs around you the more he wants you on his arm, to show you off to the world.

The more he truly wants you to be his.

Charles would be the next to realize, though not too far behind Sean.

He's a bit slower to fall, but falls at a moderate pace.

Wouldn't be too obvious in his flirting, small compliments and maybe some pretty feathers he would braid into your hair.

Your kind and gentle nature when he first met you draws him in, and over time his feelings became more obvious to him.

That's when he saw your fire, you could handle yourself, but you weren't prideful about it.

You didn't loudly boast your accomplishments, but you didn't let others slack off.

You were a good mix of sugar and spice.

And he found himself wanting a taste.

Kieran would be the last to figure out that he was falling for your charm.

A slow faller, but when he does, he falls HARD.

Your sweet nature and willingness to include him has his heart doing leaps.

Would be the least obvious in anything that could be flirtatious.

Small flowers and kind words mostly.

Would pay extra special attention to you horse, always making sure they were clean and well fed, ready for whenever you needed them.

Cause the quickest way to a person's heart is through their horse?

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

Charles would be the first to notice that he had competition for your heart, not just Sean, but Kieran too.

Kieran would be next, seeing just how sweet and doting Charles is and just how hard Sean is trying to get you to laugh.

Sean... Lets face it, Sean isn't the sharpest plunger in the breadbox. It'd take him ages to figure out that he had competition.

Once he did though Sean pulled the two aside for some somewhat heated words.

"Tha two o' you need ta back off Y/n, they're mine!"

"Y/n is their own person, they can decide for themselves."

Words like these were exchanged between the three men.

Eventually they came to an agreement, it was your choice and no matter whoever you chose, there would be no hard feelings.

Until then however, it was a no-holds brawl.

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

Sean's flirtatious behavior was suddenly cranked up to a fifteen.

Constant passes, asking for dances, asking for dates, ect.

Whatever he could think of to get the point across that he was interested in making you his partner.

On several occasions someone from camp decided to distract Sean for you to make a get-away, if they pick up on any discomfort.

Typically this was Arthur or Javier, and this was usually more cause they were sick of hearing him.

Would try showing off his strength or skill in shooting, but usually that just wound up with him embarrassing himself.

Charles will continue bringing you in little things he finds while out hunting, pretty feathers, shiny rocks, colorful shells, ect.

If you're the crafty type, he'll also gift you with animal claws/teeth/horns to turn into jewelry or maybe a couple really nice pelts to make into a blanket or clothing.

Will always ask you if you'd like to join him on a hunting trip.

If you don't know how to hunt, or use a bow, he'd be DELIGHTED to teach you.

Would drop little hints that he was interested.

Would mostly use his strength or hunting skills to show off. Mostly both by bringing in a big animal for Pearson.

Kieran would try and be a bit more bold with you, not really having much of a choice, being that he was rather scared of getting too far away from camp and being found by any O'Driscoll's.

He would more often try and initiate conversation, ask them about their day, if they were alright.

Gift's wouldn't be as varied as they would with Charles, still wild flowers, and the occasional pretty thing he found at the fishing spot.

Though once he did find a ring that some poor fish had got caught in it's throat. After he cleaned it off he gave it to you, turned out to be way too big, but it was the thought that counts.

Expect to be asked if you want to go fishing with him every time he heads out.

If you don't know how he'll gladly teach you.

On occasion Hosea or Javier will ask to join you, and you two will let them.

Kieran's a little bummed that his time alone with you now has a third wheel.

But, hey, Hosea's not bad company, he just hopes that Javier isn't also vying for you.

Would drop tiny little hints that he liked you, at least he thinks their tiny, he's usually sporting a massive blush.

Would try and show off with his knowledge about horses and fishing. It's about the only things he's confident in.

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

As always, there's a betting pool going on. Literally everyone else in camp knows about the competition.

Charles and Kieran may be subtle, but Sean most certainly isn't.

He ended up asking Mary-Beth for a few idea's on how to romance you, letting it slip about having to duke it out with the other two men, and the poor girl, after filling his head with her romances, told everyone except you.

Some members of the camp don't care, but it's fun gossip.

Some are just hoping you don't end up with the loud mouth.

You on the other hand, well, you aren't stupid.

You picked up on the whole thing.

Sean lacks subtlety to the point where a blind, deaf, and stupid person could pick up on it.

If it wasn't for Kieran's blushing you might've thought he was just being nice.

Charles' gifts and compliments clued you into his intentions.

Of course, you do have multiple options, but which to take?

Any which way, hearts will be broken.

❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣

If you end up picking Sean.

You tell him to meet you a little ways from camp, and that you have something important to tell him.

He picks up on your more serious tone, and automatically assumes the worst.

'Did a family member die?' 'Are you being threatened?' 'Are you going to tell him to take his flirting and go jump in a lake?'

These thoughts will take him by storm as he anxiously awaits you at the designated spot.

When you arrive and tell him that you know about the competition, he visibly swallows the lump forming in his throat, and is already preparing a thousand apologies.

When you tell him it's him you choose he brightens right back up.

Rushes to hold you in his arms like he's been dying to.

Will plant a bunch of little kisses on your cheeks before kissing you deeply.

If you pick Charles.

You'll tell him you know on your next hunting trip.

You're both resting in the shade of a tree when you tell him you know about the competition.

He'll freeze up and glance at you.

Internally he's panicking, externally he's still calm.

Lean over and give him a peck on the cheek and he'll slowly start grinning.

Wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in for a gentle kiss.

If you pick Kieran.

You'll tell him on your next fishing trip.

You're both waiting for a bite on your rods when you tell him you know about the competition.

He flinches and flushes a bright red.

Starts stammering out an apology, just lean into him and smile up at him and he'll stop and stare at you.

When you tell him it's him you've chosen he'll grin like he just won the lottery.

Guide him in for a small kiss and he'll just melt.

On the other hand if you're crushing on one of the other camp members.

They're all understandably hurt, Sean the most, but will understand.

They're support your decision even though it hurts them.

Cause it's your decision.

Though Sean will say that if the person you've fallen for hurts you in any way, he'll make sure they can't walk.

However if this little competition has you feeling more like a prize to be won rather than a person.

You'll just explode.

You'll pull all three of them to the edge of camp and just blow up at them.

Venting all your frustrations about it before storming off back into camp, red faced and maybe a little teary eyed.

They are HEARTBROKEN, like this would hurt worse than rejection.

They had no idea that they were making you feel this way.

Kieran would be the first to apologize.

Coming to you after a couple hours.

He'll apologize for all three of them, telling you about how much they all adore you.

He'll explain how he fell for you, and what he likes about you, and that he never thought this would hurt you.

Charles would be the next to apologize.

He would wait til the next day, giving you ample time to calm down before approaching you.

He'll apologize for making you feel like you were something to be placed on a shelf.

Pretty to look at but not to be touched.

He'll explain how you make him feel, and what he likes.

He would also stress that even though they were competing for your heart, it was always your choice to make.

Sean would take the longest, waiting a full week before even coming near you again.

His chatter has next to ceased and everyone is wondering if he's sick.

When he finally does come up to apologize he's piss drunk.

Slurring out apology's and damn near crying.

Tell you how he never meant to make you feel worthless, and how much he adores you.

Hell, he could pinpoint the exact moment he fell for you, and will tell you as such.

At this point you are back to square one, who do you choose?

[jungshookz]

I don’t really know if you take requests or not, but I think I have a cute idea I’d like to share! Maybe like, new puppy owner Y/N and pet shop employee Taehyung!

→ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

→ genre: petshopemployee!au, the cuTEST GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPY evER and it belongs to you now!!, an extra biG serving of fluff, u and tae r so shy it’s adorable

→ wordcount: 3.2k

(gif isn’t mine!)

what the hell are you doing here

out of all the places you could be on a sunday morning (aka in your nice warm bed) you are at… a pet store???

okay

here’s the backstory

you’ve been feeling pretty lonely lately (your ex broke up with you a month ago and it’s been diffiCuLT to say the least)

he said something about how you were holding him back and the spark is gone because you’re so busy with school and your job and blah blah blah all you remember is throwing your drink on him and storming out of the restaurant

it’s fine

he was a dick anyway!! you deserve better

but you’re not used to being.,,. alone

the apartment is just so quiet

you’re trying to get used to sleeping in the middle of your queen-sized bed again but somehow you always shift over to the right side of the bed because that’s your side

it’s been your side for the past four years

things are just different now

and sure you have your friends and stuff to hang out with (namjoon asked if you wanted to go out yesterday night with him and the rest of the boys but you turned him down because you were too busy throwing your own pity party) but it’s just not the same u kno

so that’s why you’re here now

at a pet shop

because you feel like getting a pet will help with the whole being lonely thing!! and also you’ve always wanted a pet so this will be great (when you were younger you had a goldfish one day you came home from school and kevin was on the floor because he juMPED OUT OF HIS TANK RIP kevin)  

you kind of have an idea of what kind of pet you want

you definitely want something small

something low-maintenance since you’ll be busy at school

maybe like a hermit crab or something

a hamster? the constant running on the wheel would probably drive you insane

maybe a bird? but what if it flies out the window

a goldfish would bring back the painful memories of kevin so that’s going to be a HARd pass

and then

you see it

the gates of heaven

a pUPPY PIT

A WHOLE PIT OF PUPPIES

GO L DEN RETRIEVER PUPP IE S

you gasp and immediately turn away from the lovebird you were just looking at and the lovebird squawks like fuCK me i guESS

“oh my god” you whine quietly when all the puppies start running up to you as you stand in front of the pit

they’re all yipping and barking and getting up on their hind legs to try to get closer to you

sO CUTE

“hi! are you thinking about taking one of these guys home with you today?”

you turn around to-

oh

oh my

your eyes flicker down to the employee’s name tag

‘taehyung’

you look back up at him

he might be cuter than the puppies

he smiles at you and tilts his head

oH he is DEFInitely cuter than the puppies

“oh! uh…”

girl

you can barely take care of yourself how the hell r u going to take care of a puppy

just tell taehyung no and ask him about pets that are easy to take care of

oH BUT LOOK AT THEIR WIDDLE PAWS AND THE CUTE LITTLE SNOOT ARE U KIDDING ME

and if you don’t take one of them home whO WILL

oh my god y/n

think this through

you don’t have space for a puppy

but you can MAKE space

puppies are expensive

but you can MAKE monEY

puppies need a lot of love and attention and affection and-

buT YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOVE AND ATTENTION AND AFFECTION TO GIVE

y/n no

y/n yes

y/n no

y/n yES

y/N N-

“yes! yes i am” you clear your throat before reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

oh man

it’s like you don’t even know how to interact with boys anymore

it’s okaY just go with the flow it’s not a big deal

everything’s chill

super cool

don’t be weird

please don’t be weird

“oh, that’s great!!!” he gasps and claps his hand together “are you a first time puppy owner?”

you nod excitedly and look down at the puppies yipping for your attention

“well, we should probably hook you up with the basics before you get the puppy part, hm? follow me!”

wha

wait what

waIT BUT THE PUPPIES

taehyung notices your hesitation and he raises a brow “this’ll only take like ten minutes, miss. fifteen minutes tops. c’mon!” he gestures for you to follow him before pulling out a cart by the counter

“so, what made you decide to get a puppy, if you don’t mind me asking?” taehyung starts picking up things here and there for you as the two of you wheel your way down the aisles

“well, i’ve always wanted a dog and now that i’m-“ oOF okay you’re not going to tell this cute stranger about your failed relationship

let’s not go there

maybe some other time!! “uh… now that i…. have a bigger apartment i decided i could fill up some space with a puppy!” you shrug and pluck a little mustard yellow harness from the shelf

you heard that harnesses are better because leashes can choke ur doggo and you don’t want to choke your doggo

plus a tiny harness on a tiny puppy cOMe on

“oH..,.,. my god,.,.” your heart basically stops in your chest when you spot the cutest pair of yellow rainboots with a matching raincoat

…yeah you’re getting those too

you don’t even care if you spenD like $1000 here (okay you’d care just a liTtle bit because u don’t even spend that much on urself)

meanwhile taehyung’s talking to you about how often you should take the dog out and how much to feed it and how much exercise it needs and how you need to put down puppy pee pads and you need to puppy-proof your house there’s just a loT of p’s flying around right now

yes you appreciate him for doing his job throughly but you can barely focus on what he’s saying because you’re picking out a bed and a little blankie and pillow and toyS and a food bowl and a water bowl and-

“whichever pup you end up choosing is going to be very lucky” taehyung chuckles as you duMP a whole load of treats into the cart and you look down at everything you’ve picked out before flashing him a sheepish smile

“think i’m getting a bit ahead of myself?”

“you probably don’t need-“ he pauses and looks down at the cart “-three full sized bags of carob-chip dog cookies? or four different pairs of rain boots??”

“oH but look how cuTE-“

usually taehyung would be aLL for the customer going crazy because that means he gets more commission but u seem really nice and just really excited and he doesn’t want u wasting your money on things you don’t need

the puppy itself is going to cost a good chunk of money so there’s that

“i think we’re all good to go!” tae sighs as he puts the last of your family-sized food bags back onto the shelf

he turns and grins at you “how about i bring all this stuff over to the front counter and i meet you by the puppy pit?”

fINALLY

FINALLY THE PUPPY PIT

you nod excitedly and ziP off towards the puppy pit and almost immediately the barking intensifies at your presence

you drop to your knees in front of the gate and stick your hand through the gaps between the bars and giggle when the pups start licking at your fingers (probably because u were touching dog cookies earlier because they looked like humaN cookies and you were about to treat urself to one but tae stopped you before you inhaled it)

“okay, which one of you wants to come home with me!!!!!” you squeal excitedly when tae finally comes around and unlocks the gate for you and you drop to your butt

you coo when a majority of the puppies start clambering over each other to get to you

you really are in heaven

this was a greAT way to spend your sunday morning

good job sad and lonely y/n!!!!!! (oof)

“oOH i can’t decide i wanna take them all home” you sigh and lean back against your palms and tae can’t help but laugh before taking a seat across from you

“yeah, it’s definitely going to be a difficult decision. i remember when i was choosing my dog it took me like three whole hours to finally say ‘okay, i’m choosing thiS one’”

“oh, you have a dog?”

“mhm! a pomeranian. his name is yeontan, but i call him tannie. he was supEr duper tiny when…” you don’t mean to be rude and space out while taehyung’s telling you about his dog but like,..,,. he’s just.,.,. so beautiful.,,

his soft, dark brown hair

his jawline and his cheekbones and his strong eyebrows and his sparkling eyes and his boxy grin and woW god really spent time on him because he is so,.,.., so handsome.,.,.,

maybe you’re just getting ahead of yourself

just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should go and juMP on the first guy that’s nice to you

maybe tae’s not actually thAt handsome and it’s just your sadness and desperation making you thiNK he’s handsome (no this is a complete lie even if you weren’t sad and desperate and lonely you would know that tae is very vERY attractive)

and what makes you think tae might be interested in you??? he’s literally only being nice because that’s his joB

you deflate a little bit at your own pessimistic thoughts and bring your attention back to the pups

taehyung is fully aware of the fact that he’s blabbering

but he can’t help it

he blabbers when he’s nervous!!!!! and right now he is vERy nervous because there is a very pretty girl sitting across from him and he hasn’t made a move on someone in so long so he’s reaLLy really out of the groove of things

is he talking too much about yeontan???? is he not talking enouGH about yeontan?? should he have let you keep those 4 pairs of rain boots and 3 bags of treats??? he doesn’t know!!!!! aHHHHH!!!!!!!!

also he doesn’t want there to be any awkward silence if he stopped talking so that’s why he’s keeping his mouth running and running and running and ruNNing-

“hey, buddy~ do you wanna come home with me?” you coo and lift up the puppy that’s calmly stuck by your side the entire time

he pokes his lil tongue out and you grin “what do you say?”

he yips and leans in to lick your nose

you feel an insTANT connection

you turn the puppy around so that he’s facing tae

and tae can’t help but laugh at the sight of you just holding the puppy like that

his legs are just dangling in midair but his tail is still wagging a mile a minute

“i think this might be my guy” you coo and let him back down onto his feet and he hops up onto your lap

you scratch behind his ear and he barks

“have you thought about potential names yet?”

you purse your lips and look down at the nameless puppy

“not yet… maybe you can help me come up with one?”

you didn’t know how hard it was to choose a name for something

it took you like three seconds to name kevin

but you and tae have been sitting here for almost forty minutes trying to come up with something

but also it’s not just up to you you think its important that the doG reacts to the name too

tae has multiple tabs open on his phone and he’s just reading names out to you

“baxter?”

you look down at the pup and it blinks back up at you

“jax?”

no reaction

“ace?”

nope

“scooter?”

nuh-uh

“sparky?”

still nothing

“rusty”

the pup growls at that one because rusty??? how inSULTING

“teddy”

nope

“cooper”

stiLL nothing

“duke”

nah

“how about milo?” you interrupt tae and keep your eyes trained on the pup

you want to thank the lords above when it barks and twirls around in a circle before sitting on his butt

“milo!” he barks again and sticks his tongue out “milo~” you coo and lift him up so that you can smoosh a kiss on his cheek

and if that’s not the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his entire life taehyung doesn’t know whAT IS

“thank you for everything, by the way. you’ve been really helpful.” you tuck your credit card back into your wallet (it’s a good thing you didn’t end up getting those extra rain boots because ouCh the total was not a pretty number)

and then u realise

you haven’t even introduced yourself to tae

“oh! i’m y/n, by the way. probably should’ve started with that.” you chuckle sheepishly

taehyung smiles to himself as he sneaks an extra dog cookie into your bag

is he going to make his move

,.,., yes he is

“i’m taehyung,” he grins and you feel your heart flutter

hoO

your heart hasn’t fluttered like that in a long time

“-but you can call me later.” you can’t help but snort and taehyung grins as he rings up the last of your things

you can’t help but feel a sense of relief knowing that tae has taken an interest in you as well

“you’re lucky you’re cute” you mutter and tae looks up at you and raises a brow

“did you just call me cute?”

“i was talking to milo” you joke and tae raises his hands in defense

a moment of silence goes by

“hey, maybe milo and yeontan can meet each other one day or something…?” he clears his throat and punches a couple buttons on the computer

he’s not actually doing anything he’s just pretending like he’s doing something so that he can keep talking to u

“what do you think, milo?” you look down at milo and he blinks up at you “you wanna meet yeontan?” his mouth opens and he starts panting “what day is good for you, hm?”

milo barks before his hind leg is scratching behind his ear

ah

classy

“is this sunday good for you? milo and i can meet you here, or… we could meet at the dog park, or…”

“or maybe i can take you out for breakfast first? there’s a really nice café downtown that allows dogs in there too… and, um, and then we could go to the dog park? we don’t have to, if you don’t want to, we can just go straight to the dog park if-“

“i would love to go for breakfast.” you smile shyly and your stomach does a flip-flop

taehyung sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth before nodding and reaching for the printer as your receipt starts printing out

you’re a bit preoccupied fawning over your new puppy so tae quickly scribbles his number down on the back of your receipt

he steps out from behind the counter so that he can help you carry your things to the car

“so, this is for you,” tae hands you the receipt and you take it from him “like i said before, you should probably puppy-proof your place if you haven’t done so yet. milo’s at the age where everything is something to chew on, so if you have a pair of expensive shoes or something you might wanna put them away-“ milo barks and starts walking slowly around you and tae

tae looks down at him and takes a step closer to you because he doesn’t want to accidentally steP on your puppy “um, yeah, so, electrical cords, laundry, especially dirty socks-“

milo starts walking again and his little paws pit-pat against the floor

“uh-huh,” you furrow your brows and look down at milo and he stops walking and promptly sits and looks up at you “sorry, what were you saying?”

“training treats are good, but don’t give him too many treats because…”  

and now that you’re distracted again

milo makes his move

he’s a lil man with a lil plan

milo barks and starts running circles around you and tae

“milo-!”

you feel his leash starting to tighten around your ankles and the next thing you know you’re pressed riGHT up against tae

you stumble a little and let out a squeak of surprise

your hands shoot up to rest against tae’s chest to keep yourself balanced and tae instinctively reaches out to grab onto your hips

the two of you lock gazes and a beat of silence goes by before you’re both breaking out into nervous giggles

almost immediately your entire face flushes bright red

you certainly weren’t expecting this

“here, hand me his leash-“ taehyung takes it from you and bends down a little and starts unwinding the leash from around your guys’ legs

you want to diE (in a good way??) because tae still has one hand on your waist to keep you steady

then he’s scoOping milo up into his arms and turning him around so that he can look him in the eye “i can tell you’re going to be a bit of a troublemaker…”

milo barks and licks tae’s nose and tae grins before plopping him back onto the ground and handing you back the leash

“so…” tae shuts your trunk after helping you put everything in “i’ll see you sunday?” 

you nod and offer him a smile before deciding to just dO iT 

you are young and life is short and taehyung is cuTE 

tae’s eyes widen when you plant a kiss on his cheek and a big fat grin immediately appears on his face 

“i’ll see you su-“ you’re cut off when milo suddenly pops his head out from the passenger seat and barks 

tae scoffs playfully “yeah, i’ll see you sunday too, milo” 

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

[gaudeixcc]

Peleton News – Big tour a comin’

2018 was a year of pretty significant change for me.

I’ve left the comfort of the stationary cupboard and placed a foot in the direction of contracting. Good in many ways, variety of work, change of scene etc.. but non-the-less a little unnerving with its potential short-term nature. Still, one renewal down and all seems well.

Moley too has joined the same club. After years in comfortable bliss in the same old pair of shoes (so to speak), our chirpy pink cap potential has also embraced the new ‘gig economy’. We even share the same accountant and both now sound as wise as Clemo in the ‘tax efficient’ expense logging game.

We both now join the herd on the morning schlepp to London Bridge. The downside of this particular arrangements (for both Moley and I) is that time is increasingly pressed. I leave the house around 6am and am not back normally to gone 7. I think Moley may operate similar parameters.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a year where so many of my waking minutes have been occupied with doing stuff of one form or another. What I could often do with more than anything else is a bloody good sit down.

So, what of 2019. Well, my big goal is to smash last year’s woeful tour performance.

In Malaga I was fat (I’m guessing somewhere north of 92-93kg).. I had done little road riding (I think I may have troubled a road ride once before 2018’s unusually early tour).  And whilst a trainer road regime meant I could complete the test without bonking, I did struggle.

Even though I was a bit shit, I still put a shift in. The day Drip beat me to the water fountain (a mid-point on that particular ride) was the day I put myself well and truly in to the red. It’s a dark place to be when emptying the tank to the extent of then needing to actually lie down to recover, only gets you last place…..

Another indication of potential lack of form is the habit of nodding off in the sun after lunch. Luckily there were no sharp-eyed Peloton riders around to take a video, convert to GIF and then circulate on Whatsapp to highlight the poor nodding fat bloke in ‘lycra stretched over greed’.

It was still a great tour, but I have to confess that I missed Moley… he had called it a day whilst he was dealing with the maelstrom of a changing work landscape. He wanted to focus on getting work before focussing on getting pink.

I knew that if he had not done the training either, then I may have had some company at the back of the pack. As it was, I had to do with the humiliation of the ‘Peloton rota of shame’ as the main pack took it in turns to schedule some time with the wounded cub at the back. All very gracious about it they were too… except for Col Mac who came back and gave me a big push up the hill. The one thing you don’t need when sulking with your moobs and off the pace is for any of the team to come and say (in the form of a flat hand on your back) ‘for fucks sake could you ride any slower’….!

The sentiment was appreciated Mac, but by that point I was in the dark space of self-loathing!

So, this year JT and I have booked the tour a little later. 2019 also heralds the return of a ‘Grande Tour’. A big 5-day-er. Huge scenery, hard cycling. Relentless back-to-back days.

Make no bones about it, the Grande Tours are tough. Day 3 nearly always sees aching quads which are painful to touch.

In Malaga and probably Majorca too, you can get away with not training much and taking some lard into the hills. Try that little stunt on a the big one and it will be very hard yards indeed.

So, for 2019 I have a predication. I think this year will see the most preparation and the best level of general fitness across the group.

Clearly the average has been upped by the introduction of HRH. A man drafted in to cause much restlessness amongst the chickens at the front of the field. Hopefully the podium boys will be forced to actually put a shift in this year as opposed to casually dragging the rest of us along in their breeze.

And so, to my predictions. I’m going early this year, but hey, let’s get it out there to be shot down.

JT

When your mass is somewhere in the 70’s in the currency of the kilogram, you’re going to be doing just fine. Fresh from a year of skiing and snowboarding our pocket-rocket from the land of beer and meat will put in a bit of training and will be his usual excitable self in the top quartile.

I’d like to see someone push him into the hurt locker and keep him there for a while. Last time I saw that was in 2012 when a broken JT sat opposite me in a tapas bar in Palma.

It was very pleasant viewing from where I was sat. Very pleasant. ’d pay to see that again.

Drip

Excruciating back trouble at the end of 18 will hopefully right itself as Drip treads gently back into a training rota. As always, his rides will be short but frequent. He’ll do what he can. Will it be enough? His mental determination will bridge many a gap. Likely to perform well. Probably most excited in the group at the prospect of a Grande tour. All we need to do is add poker and it will be literally heaven for our recovering friend.

Damo

No booze. Cyclocross. Commuting. Cyclists mentality. It’s only going to be as hard as he makes it. He’s another one I’d like to see breathing out of his arse.

As usual the big question with Damo will be what sort of cycling exotica will be wheeling about on?

I live in hope to see him on a Di2 Evo Supersix HiMod.

Macca

A verbal pessimist pre-tour, expect the same this year. Still has robotic tendencies and whilst Trainer Road has almost eradicated that slow, powerful cadence, it occasionally creeps in to remind you that he is almost certainly non-human and better than you!

Always there or thereabouts.

Col Mac

Will married life impact the unusually consistent performance? Whilst he does his riding on flat-as-a-pancake courses, he seems to be able to translate this into decent mid-table performances on the big hills.

Took a massive brave pill by announcing his attendance on tour (which coincides with his 1-year wedding anniversary). He’ll be there and probably still married, but you can bet your arse he’s going to have to pay a price to his new bride for getting away with this little stunt! (Prada Shoes? Gucci handbags? Mac getting pegged from behind by the Mrs wearing a 12-inch black strap-on? All we can do is cross our fingers and pray for the latter….’go on love… make him squeal…!’).

RTA

At last, his ‘top of podium’ position is in potential doubt for 19. RTA will be what RTA always is… well trained… in good condition… and eye candy for any passing lovelies.  Huge pressure on his shoulders this year as he has to take on the responsibility of awarding the 2019 Pink Cap. Fuck, you don’t want to get that little decision wrong…. Remember the year Drip lashed it up and gave it to JT… ? That was the year where I had three refund requests from disgruntled Peletonistas.

(In fairness, the 3 requests where all from me… anyway… it was still a shocking decision).

There is still a twinkle of hope that he will take the baton and arrange a curry night. Be a real pity to revoke the 18 cap because of a ‘failure of office’.

Moley

1st of Jan sees the heralded return of Moley to his beloved Turbo (clothes horse/cat scratching post/paperweight).  Like Harry Potter emerging from the under stairs cupboard, the Turbo is about to see the light of day and the power of the Moleman’s quads as he embraces the 19 campaign.

Much chattering about getting ‘ski-fit’ first (I have no idea what that means), but if Moley decides to make a go of it, me and Drip are proper fucked.

HRH

Tour virgin and in my book, straight in as favourite. Big expectations hover over our blue-blooded London commuter.

We need him to properly tear it up at the front of the pack. I want to see a hard pace set with JT, RTA, Macca and Damo blowing to keep up…. And then I want to see them individually dropped.

I’m half-considering getting an electric bike and a go-pro so I can capture the magic as it happens.

As it is, myself and chums at the back of the pack will just have to revel and enjoy the delicious tension when we arrive at a coffee break to a table of riders not talking to each other and HRH desperately trying to make small talk. I literally cannot wait.

Hoppo

I’ve set myself big targets this year. 5-7kg lighter than current weight. 20+% uplift in FTP.

If I do this, I won’t be last.

If I don’t, I will.

In my silver jubilee year, it really is as simple as that.

So, there we have it. A Grande tour awaits. And this year we have the added entertainment of fights breaking out every meal time as Moley and I wrestle over grabbing the lunch receipts as for the first time in tour history, the midday snack and pint will be logged on the system by 2 riders as ‘Business Entertainment’.

I’ve never had to claim the VAT back on shame…. No time like the present.

Happy new year all.

Hoppo

[all-about-buckyandsupernatu-blog]

Trucker Bucky

AN: So I got this idea kinda out of the blue but mostly because of Sebastian’s new haircut so yeah also I don’t own this gif so let me know if you do!! Honestly, this gif is so hot can you imagine him in a bar looking at you like this ugh. ps I took 8000000 years to finish this it’s been like 3 months since he had his haircut sooo yeah lol

Warnings: slight verbal harassment, swearing

Pairing: Trucker! Bucky x Reader Plus size reader kinda idk

Summary: Down on your luck you're happy to meet a non-creepy man in a trucker bar to actually help you and not just hit on you, could this nice man not just be a helping hand, but a beckon of hope and trust.

“You can’t just leave!” the redhead furrowed her thick brows, her hands meeting her jean-clad thighs.

I was stuffing clothing into an old green bag, avoiding meeting her eyes because I knew if I met them I would waiver in my decision.

“I need to do this, for my own sanity,” I continued to pack “Please,” I begged, I finally looked at her for a brief moment my eyes pleading for her to let me go.

She sighed heavily, making me squeal with happiness. 

“Fine, but please be safe and don’t get into any strangers car!”

“Oh thank you, I’ll call you every couple days!” my eyes lit up with relief, running to her to give a tight hug.

The dark road ahead gave me no comfort as my car decided it wanted to fall apart. Coming to a stop the old blue car decided it wanted to start smoking, with a large sigh I put my head on the steering wheel not wanting this to happen, the emergency blinkers the only sound in my ears which raised more anxiety in my stomach. 

‘great I’m going to die out here’

Deciding that Google could be my friend I looked up the closest place to me. The first and only thing that came up was Ray’s it looked like a hole in the wall but at least I could get something to eat and maybe some help. I gathered my things, locked my busted car and headed to the bar. It was about a mile walk which felt like 500 miles in the dark where every noise and crack scares me into a faster walk.

The coolness of the night creeping into my bones the outfit I had on not doing much to keep me warm. My lips parted slightly a smile creeping up my features as I saw the lights of the small wooden building.

As I approached the bar I could hear voices and large vehicles starting and turning off. Walking up the dusty parking lot the light of the place Illuminating my face. The small group of men standing outside noticed me immediately like I had walked into the mouth of the lion, it made me want to shrink down and hide or run back to my broken car but I couldn’t do that so I put on a pair of confidence pants and straighten up.

“What?” I asked innocently as I approached faking being sweet.

“Do I have something on my face?” Smiling hoping this would play out the way I wanted.

They all shared confused looks, shrugging at each other.

“Well you were all staring, makes a girl think there’s something wrong,” I fake flirting, a smirk on my lips as I walked past them.

“Oh no sweetheart, just staring at those sweet hips of yours,” the man had a pirate like grin carved into his face, giving my stomach a sinking feeling.

I would have thrown a brick at his face if I didn’t think I would get murdered, so I just walked past into the bar and pretended like I didn’t hear his gross comment.

Entering the building it was lit with cafe style light, small wooden tables decorating the space along with a wooden bar with wooden stools to match. Behind the bar, itself was littered with different bottles of alcohol, the shelves lit to display the bottles. It gave more light to the bar, almost making it more inviting. Maybe it was the warm color of the lights that made it feel like that or maybe I was just so relieved to actually sit down.

I got halfway to the bar before I heard a low whistle and a male voice to follow it.

“Damn baby, come sit on my lap with that ass,” I could hear the cocky smile in his voice, 

I rolled my eyes. ‘ugh I just want a fucking drink’ 

As I sat on the wooden stool I signed as the bartender approached with a smile.

“Watcha having,” She asked leaning against the bar.

She was wearing a black tank top showing off her extravagant sleeves of tattoos with small delicate details that you could get lost in. Her long red-ish brown hair almost touching the bar top she leaned on.

“Whiskey would make my night,” I smiled “Just nothing too expensive,”

“You got it,” 

She leaned down to grab a something, but she looked irritated at not finding what she needed. 

“I’ll be right back, can’t find any damn glasses,” she huffed.

Sitting at the bar waiting for the tattooed bartender to come back, I felt a presence next to me out of the corner of my eye. I could see it was a man, and I felt my shoulders tense, anxiety bubbling in my stomach slightly. 'shit shit shit’ is all that ran through my head.

I heard him turn in his seat toward me.

“You look a little out of place,” The man said his voice warm and inviting not like any I had heard tonight.

“Just a little,” I smiled looking over at him, he was handsome. He had a navy ball cap on along with a corduroy jacket, his broad shoulders fill out his clothing well.

“What brings you here?” He questioned.

I sighed “Well my car decided it wanted to become a smoke bomb,” I pressed my lips together.

He frowned “Oh I’m sorry, do you need some help with it?”

I paused for a second, “Yeah that would be great actually,”

He smiled happily to see I agreed to his help

“Bucky!” The woman's voice brought my attention to her.

She was walking back with a few glasses in her hands.

“Wanda,” he greeted back with a smile.

The tattooed girl grinned at him, walking back over to us. 

“Thanks” I smiled as she handed me the 

“Sure thing,” she said turning to the man- named ‘Bucky’ sitting next to me. 

“Good to see you again,” she patted his arm as she went off to another task.

“So, do you come here often,” after I realized what I said I pressed my lips together trying to contain my laughter. I could see his features brighten, a chuckle escaping his lips.

“Okay, that was cheesy,”

“No, No, I mean yes, but,” he chuckled softly “Kinda yes,” he said answering my question

“What brings you here?” I questioned now facing him fully.

“Bucky boy here is a Trucker,” I turned my head towards the voice, tattooed girl or Wanda as Bucky had called her earlier said approaching us.

“The nicest one I’ve ever met too,” she smiled handing Bucky a beer.

“He seems like it, he even offered to help with my car instead of just commenting on my ass,” I smirked taking a sip of my drink.

I saw a very slight blush appear on his cheeks as he took a swig of his beer.

“Speaking of your car” he interrupted. “where is it?”

“Oh about a mile down the road,” I shrugged

He raised his eyebrows “Wow, you walk all that way?”

“Unfortunately,”

“Well,” he placed his beer on the table “Let’s go see what I can do about it,”

“Oh, right now,” I pointed to the ground as if I was pointing to time itself.

“Unless you want to stay longer,” he asked sincerely

“No,” I shook my head

Walking out of the wooden bar, you followed Bucky to his semi, to say the thing was massive would be an understatement the black shiny metal glimmered in the light from the bar. 

“Alright,” he smiled “You’ll have to get in on the driver side the passenger's door is jammed,”

“Fine, but please be safe and don’t get into any strangers car!” Nat’s voice ran through your head.

“Okay,” I nodded “I’ve never been in one, this is exciting,” I chuckled as I started climbing up.

 Climbing the large vehicle I heard Bucky start stepping up after me. At the last step is when my foot slipped from under me, I squeaked as I slipped assuming I would come tumbling down the tall vehicle. My eyes shut tight I felt large hands one right on my ass and one on my lower thigh. Embarrassment seeped through me as I froze there for a moment. 

“Thanks,” I whispered

His hands lingered just until I got my footing. I climbed onto the cab a bright red blush on my face, Bucky following behind.

“S-Sorry,” I stammered trying not to look at him.

“For what?” He furrowed his brows

“Um,” I chuckled “You know falling butt first on you,” I blushed looking down at my lap.

“Oh no doll, don’t worry about it, really,” he reached over rubbing my arm his warm hand giving me goosebumps.

He pulled his hand back to turn the truck on, the engine roared to life making everything in the truck rattle a little.

[pinelife3]

Whatever happened to Lainey Gossip?

Lainey Gossip was the smartest celebrity gossip site on the internet. I was an avid reader for most of my adult life. You may recall my April 2016 blog post about gossip and, in particular, blind items. Well, it’s been nearly a year since Lainey posted a blind item. In the site’s heyday (pre-2017), she posted a blind roughly once a month.

Beyond the drop-off in blind items, the site has decayed in a number of ways. It’s become smug and self-aggrandising. They rolled lifestyle content onto the main blog feed, so now I have to scroll past posts about, I kid you not, baby names. (Caring about baby names is so inherently stupid to me, I feel genuinely irritated just being exposed to that content. Just name your kid something out of the primary religious text for your culture/region/family. Adam can never go out of style.)

The main thing which has turned me off Lainey Gossip is the writers’ misapprehension that the site is some kind of arbiter on social justice issues. Every other day there is a post with some insufferable moralising about feminism, equality, systemic racism, Rowling’s transphobia etc. It’s not that these are bad takes - I actually agree with what they’re saying. But I don’t want to hear it on this site. I don’t refer to gossip writers for guidance on this. Lainey is not a political activist. The writers on the site are just regurgitating ideas and lessons they’ve learnt elsewhere. This post from June was the final straw for me. The relevant part of the post is Alia Shawkat’s apology for saying the n-word during an interview in 2016. The clip of her actually saying the n-word seems to have disappeared from the internet, but basically she was describing a time when she and some of her friends arrived in a very nice hotel and how she thought of the lyric: “Nigga, we made it" from the Drake song “We Made It”. 

Here’s Lainey’s analysis:

As people have pointed out on Twitter, 2016 isn’t that long ago. And Alia was in her 20s. Whether or not you decide to cancel her, as many are doing, is up to you. 

I can’t fully account for it, but the phrase ‘Whether or not you decide to cancel her is up to you’ rubbed me the wrong way. Whether you decide to cast her into the fire for not correctly censoring herself when quoting a Drake song. Whether she is destroyed as a person forever. A worthless husk. Irredeemable. Whether her soul should be torn out and her body fed to crows. That’s up to you. The new god? It’s you, the reader of this gossip blog!

This was during the peak of the Black Lives Matter protests and discussion this year. So, in the second half of the article Lainey gets high on her own farts, like so:

While I have never used the n-word casually, and many of you may say the same, we do all engage with Black art, we do all borrow from it, consciously or unconsciously, in the ways we express ourselves, in the way I have expressed myself here, from fashion to language to GIFs. Think of how much cultural colloquial vocabulary comes from the Black community – recent examples include “lit”, “snatched”, “shady”, “flex”, “tea”, and phrasing that’s become commonplace and permanent in our language like “chill”, “dope”, “extra” – all of this comes from the creativity of Black minds. And they’re almost never credited for it.

So yes, of course, call out people like Alia for their irresponsible use of the most egregious words, but at the same time, let’s all consider how much we owe to the Black community for what they’ve given to us and for little we’ve given back in respect, appreciation, and credit. Because while the immediate urgency of Black Lives Matter is to prevent more senseless killings of Black people, the broader focus of BLM is Black dignity in all forms, and all of this is related. We can’t say that we honour Black humanity if we are erasing their contributions in all aspects of our lives.

Thanks Lainey. To be clear, I wouldn’t mind if this was the only time she’d shared an opinion like this - but this type of argument is repeated ad nauseaum across the site. She’s a therapist. She’s a civil rights activist. She knows what’s good for you. She speaks with great authority on how to solve racism. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks and Lainey is apologising for the hideous shit she used to write on her blog in the early 2000s where her takes were often racist, homophobic, and/or misogynistic. In her apology post, she wrote:

Many people object to cancel culture. My personal opinion on it is that while cancel culture is not always judiciously applied, it does have value. Sometimes people should be cancelled. And if you visit this website often, you might be thinking about whether or not to cancel me. That’s fair.

...I have been conditioned in white supremacy, and I have enabled white privilege, even as a person of colour myself, because we too, given that white supremacy is so dominant, can have bias... When I started this site back in 2003/2004, I wrote misogynist things and slut shaming things, and racist things. And as the site grew in popularity, it served as confirmation bias, that there was an appetite out there for this kind of content, and I wanted to keep delivering it. Over time, I learned and grew, along with many of you who have learned and grown. And through it all, I have talked about my progress, calling out my past mistakes and leaving much of that content on the site instead of deleting it. There are some things, though, that have been deleted because I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to be part of it and obviously didn’t want to perpetuate those thoughts. But in the process of doing that, I realised that that would be erasing history – and for marginalised people, their pain and trauma is constantly being erased and invalidated. My leaving it there to be eventually called out is nothing compared to their experience.

Many gossip blogs were like this in the nascent stage of online journalism. They called it snark - and it was very popular. I think in some ways this was to differentiate blogs from the content and coverage in traditional gossip mags. Most gossip magazines are toothless - because they want celebrity interviews and exclusives. But, in 2006, a website was never going to get an interview with anyone worth interviewing so why bother to be nice - especially because being cynical and mean was more entertaining for the average reader. A lot of the gossip coverage that occurred back then would never fly now: ridiculing Britney for shaving her head, fat shaming, cruel coverage of celebrity eating disorders, slut shaming. The edgelord humour of the early blogs was crushed beneath the wheels of progress.

I don’t care about what Lainey wrote in 2006 - I don’t think it’s nice, I don’t think it’s interesting or funny, I wouldn’t have chosen to read it. But it doesn’t change my view of the site as a whole. What it does do though, is highlight how hollow all the talk of respecting women, honouring Black culture, working to be better, being good allies, etc. is on this site. Because it’s not really about doing that shit - it’s about telling other people off for not doing it. Lainey has weaponised wokeness as her new snark. 

After the fall out around Lainey’s embarrassing old articles, a banner was added to all of the articles on the site which were published before 2013: 

She’s effectively disavowed half of the blog’s history. Lainey Gossip launched in 2004. Is it really fair to say that articles published in 2012 were posted during an early period of the site?

What is Lainey doing when she toys with Alia Shawkat’s fate like Anton Chigurh tossing a coin? She knows in her heart of hearts that she has also said things she regrets, also said unsavory things in public that she didn’t really mean. It’s so weird: can’t you see the parallels between yourself and her? Lainey is pretty clear in her apology that she’s acknowledging the problematic history of the blog because people were exposing her on social media. Were it not for this, she likely would have continued writing about problematic shit other people did 10 years ago without acknowledging that she is no better. 

Again, I want to be really clear: my issue isn’t with the articles she wrote in the early days of the site. It’s the weirdness around publicly criticising people when your own behaviour is comparably bad. What could you gain from doing that beyond reveling in the snark? Destroying someone else before the mob you helped create comes for you?

Let me remind you: THIS USED TO BE A GOSSIP BLOG with analysis of celebrity culture, movie deals, blind items, industry insider stories. Now it’s just been sucked into the culture war vortex. Ruined by the discourse. 

Gossip used to be talking about other people’s business: Speculating about which Victoria’s Secret model DiCaprio would pick up next. Investigating rumours that Jennifer Lawrence faked her tumble on the stairs at the Oscars. Analysing why a celebrity filed their divorce papers in California rather than Texas. Waiting to see which celebrity would be the first to wear Marchesa on a red carpet after the fall of Weinstein.

Gossip is a way of learning what is acceptable in society, a way of observing how others perceive and react to the decisions people make - and how behaviour which violates societal norms attracts backlash. It’s even more interesting when the subject of that gossip is rich and famous. Lainey Gossip is no longer turning out this kind of content - so where can we go for these insights?

The best barometer for conservative public opinion on celebrity movements and the related enforcement of societal norms is the The Daily Mail comments section. The Daily Mail itself seems like something of a journalistic agent of chaos: I would have assumed that they swung right, but they post pro-Trump articles and anti-Trump articles. They do not seem to have a dog in the fight: the world turns, empires rise and fall and The Daily Mail persists. 

In the ‘entertainment news’ articles on the site, no impassioned arguments are made, no particular analysis is shared: the journalists position themselves as impartial observers just reporting the facts. Occasionally a piece is clearly designed to bait the readers - for example, any time they mention the price of someone’s home in the headline... “Celebrity in $13 million mansion reminds fans to appreciate the small things” or that kind of crap. But the article itself is just a list of facts. No analysis, no reflection - just positioning. 

Also interesting to observe is that The Daily Mail comments section is typically quite harmonious. Readers generally have similar take-aways from articles and it’s very rare to see an argument break out in the comments section. It’s as if Daily Mail readers think with one mind:

Stay with wife many years? Very good. Society like this. Daily Mail readers approve.

Stay with wife many years and maybe wife is slightly overweight? Oh yes - this guy is the best. International hero. Daily Mail readers all agree: we love.

Stay with wife many years and then divorce her? Hmm let’s see how this situation develops before we judge...

Stay with wife many years and then divorce her to be with younger woman? You die now.

The Daily Mail comments section is a glance into the void. A pit of human misery where people say exactly what they think. No subtext. No analysis required. 

They like Pierce Brosnan because he is a straight-forward nice male celebrity and he has been with his wife for a long time - his wife is a little overweight so it makes readers feel good to imagine that he might not be repulsed by the average woman.

They do not like Emma Roberts because in 2013 she was arrested for beating her boyfriend in a hotel room. This was a long time ago and not many people think about it now. She has a successful career and is well liked on social media. But that’s because those youngsters forget. 

The Daily Mail comments section does not forget. Their memory is long and their pity is scarce. They are society’s hive mind. The majority. A snapshot of what 95% of the planet’s population would think on any given subject - which actually makes for very interesting reading.

Forget about Lainey Gossip, trawl The Daily Mail comments section with me.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #155 - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #429.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Before anything else, I will say this: you never need to see Star Trek: The Motion Picture unless you are a MAJOR fan of the series. Wrath of Khan is a much better first film for the series and just a much better film in general, and the original motion picture has no bearing on the plot of ANY of the sequels that I’m aware of. Spare yourself the boredom.

2) I don’t often talk about how great the opening credits of a film are, but the movement through the stars and James Horner’s grand score creates a rousing score which helps you get in the mood for the space adventure to come.

3) The Kobayashi-Maru.

The opening of the film is great largely because it plays with expectations vs reality. You EXPECT Kirk in the captain’s chair, and while it plays out like a standard scene from “Star Trek” but it ends with everyone dead. And even though it turns out to be a simulation, the image of watching almost all the series regulars die before you prepares you for the darkness to come. It is an incredibly great and memorable opening to a film which can be described as the same.

4) Kirstie Alley as Saavik.

Despite being Vulcan (and, depending on what you consider canon, half-Romulan) Saavik has more in common with Kirk than she does with Spock. She may have the appearance of being a logical and decisive creature, but she is stubborn and proud. And I love her for that. I think Saavik as at her best in this film when played by Alley (she would be replaced in Star Trek III and IV). Alley gives Saavik a unique flavor, making her more than just your typical Vulcan and holding her own with the original cast.

5) The scene where Bones and Kirk “celebrate” his birthday is great.

This is the introduction of Kirk’s key conflict and possibly the best analysis of it the film features.

Kirk: “Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, doctor.”

Bones [later]: “This is not about age and you know it.”

Kirk’s conflict here is not about aging, it is about aging INTO something. About being stuck behind a desk and bureaucracy. Of becoming obsolete. Age on it’s own does not result in that, but the choices we make as we age. It is in this film that Kirk will have to determine his future when faced with a threat from the past.

6) Carol Marcus and her son David.

Both Carol and David as individual characters are interesting, but by balancing out each other (with Carol being well reasoned and patient and David being more like Kirk with his stubbornness/rashness) they create an interesting dynamic that entertains in a way beyond their relationship with Kirk.

7) Ricardo Montalbán as Khan Noonien Singh.

Montalbán takes a memorable role from the original series and in this film turns it into not only one of the greatest villains cinema has ever featured but also a career defining performance. Khan is able to be both chillingly collected and show off fear-inducing anger. His intellect, physical strength, and progressing madness/drive is showed off brilliantly by Montalbán. There is a ruthlessness to this character established as soon as we meet him (specifically with his use of brain slugs) that let’s us know, “Oh shit, don’t mess with this guy.” He is totally frightening, with many of his decisions and scenes making your stomach turn. Only open my third (fourth?) viewing of this film did I realize just how long his intro scene is, but it doesn’t feel long. It is perfect, and Montalbán captures your attention for the entire time.

8) Hey that’s...that’s Tony from the Witch Mountain movies!

I would not have noticed that if I didn’t watch the Witch Mountain movies in March for the (Re)Watch.

9) So usually at this point in the (Re)Watch I talk about the writing and performances of the main cast of a film. I find it nearly impossible to do that for Wrath of Khan however as the cast from the original series are such mainstays of cinema and pop culture I’ve no idea what to say. What on earth could I possible say Kirk, Bones, Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov that hasn’t been said before? In my analysis of the 2009 film I probably will, but right now I think I’ll just say they’re great and leave it at that.

10) I love how Kirk is freaking out when Spock lets Saavik pull the Enterprise out of dock.

(GIF originally posted by @readysteadytrek​)

11) I love Saavik and Kirk in the elevator. It speaks not only to how rash she is (which I love on it’s own) but will later show how similar they really are. She doesn’t really believe in a no-win scenario and as we’ll learn later neither does Kirk.

12) I love when Spock hands the ship over to Kirk. There is no bruised ego (as he himself says), there are no hard feelings, it’s not an issue of power or anything. He knows Kirk is the best guy to take the wheel. He trusts Kirk and Kirk trusts Spock back and they can just cut through the bullshit and do what’s best for everyone. I’m a sucker for good friendships like that.

13) Damn, Spock.

Kirk: “I would not presume to debate you.”

Spock: “That would be wise.”

14) There is one scene early-to-mid picture which is recalled HEAVILY later on and I always think it is best when the ending of the movie ties into something at the beginning of the film. You want it to feel like one picture, you don’t want to be sitting at the end going, “Oh right, that part early on was the same movie.” Spock’s speaking of how...

And how he has been and always shall be Kirk’s friend tie together at the end in very heartbreaking ways.

15) I was always impressed with the Genesis visual, keeping in mind this was 1982 and CGI was hardly in its prime.

16) The very first encounter with the ship Khan has taken over - Reliant - before they know it is Khan is incredibly tense and Hitchcockian. Because we as the audience KNOW it’s Khan. Pacing is derived not from faster pacing but from slower pacing. The uneasiness simmers in our bones as Kirk unknowingly wanders into a trap, even though everyone seems to suspect something is up. And it features one of the best quotes in the film:

Khan: “Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish best served cold? It is very cold in space.”

17) And then Khan and Kirk finally encounter one another.

Montalbán and Shatner never share any scenes as Montalbán was making “Fantasy Island” at the time, but that does not undermine just how equally matched these adversaries are. Their very first encounter in particular feels like a chess game. It is not so much a battle of strengths as it is a battle of wits, yet still very interesting. And we as the audience really have no idea who is going to come out on top. Each is able to surprise and throw the other off balance, only to come back and deal another blow. It makes for great conflict. We know Kirk’s disadvantage: Khan is genetically engineered to be better than him. But in this scene we see a weakness of Khan’s which will become greater later on: his ego. He cannot see his own weaknesses and shortcomings. He is hundreds of years old comparatively speaking, so obviously some ways of thinking are foreign to him. But he can’t get past the fact he’s a genetically engineered super being to work on this. I love bad guys with flaws.

18) Oh no! Tony dies!

Preston [Ike Eisenmann’s character, after Kirk arrives]: “Is the word given, admiral?”

Kirk: “The word is given. Warp speed.”

[Preston dies]

Scotty [obviously torn up]: “He stayed at his post when the trainees ran!”

The fact that this death of a character we spent all of thirty seconds with packs such an intense punch speaks greatly to the craft with which this film was made.

19) The scene with Kirk, Bones, and Saavik on the scientist space station feels very Alien and I love it. For just a few minutes we are in a horror film, in an enclosed space where obviously SOMETHING is wrong and some sort of danger lurks. It is pulled off wonderfully well.

20) Part of the tension comes from the fact that we TRUST Chekov. He’s original series cast and he seems to have shaken the alien slug Khan was using on him. Why WOULDN’T we trust Chekov? Making the fact that he and his captain are still controlled later on all the more powerful.

21) This. Freaking. Scene.

This is when both are pushed to their furthest. Khan believes he has killed Kirk only to immediately learn he hasn’t, and Kirk is beyond pissed with Khan for all the death and destruction he has caused. This is where Khan accepts that he has defeated Kirk if only because it has become so difficult to kill him and it is where Kirk hates Khan the most (uttering the film’s famous line, “Khaaaaaan!”). But even through his hate Kirk is trying to play Khan. He is trying to get Khan in the same room with him so he can fight him face to face. But Khan is too smart for that and works against Kirk, leading to that yell. This is one of the best scenes in the film and it is because the conflict plays out so wonderfully.

22) The fact that David is Kirk’s son not only gives Kirk some personal stakes, but it ties into the idea of the choices Kirk must make in life. He is now dealing with two choices which are coming back to haunt him: how he handled Khan and not being a part of his son’s life. And that will directly influence the choices he makes in the future. Because life is too short.

23) This is so indicative of Kirk’s character.

Saavik: “Admiral, may I ask you a question?”

Kirk: “What's on your mind, Lieutenant?”

Saavik: “The Kobayashi Maru, sir.”

Kirk: “Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?”

Saavik: “On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.”

Bones: “Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.”

Saavik: “How?”

Kirk: “I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.”

Saavik: “What?”

David: “He cheated.”

Kirk: “I changed the conditions of the test; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.”

Saavik: “Then you never faced that situation... faced death.”

Kirk: “I don't believe in the no-win scenario.”

24) The climactic chase through the nebula ties into Khan’s biggest weakness: his ego preventing him from admitting his flaws.

Spock: “He’s intelligent but not experienced. His pattern suggest two-dimensional thinking.”

I think this is the past scene to showcase space as a three-dimensional space. Ever watch a space film where characters encounter an asteroid field and think, “Why can’t they just go above or below it?” That’s what this film does. Like the initial Kirk/Khan mental face-off, the time in the nebula greats great tension from slowing down pacing while never being boring. There are surprises, there are twists, and they are on truly equal footing. And Khan, well he’s at his breaking point. How mad must this person be if even his crew - who were established to live and die by his word at the beginning of the film - are questioning his judgment? And what exactly will it lead him to?

That final visual of Khan’s face is also a great presentation of how he is on the inside. He is torn up and burned to a crisp with vengeance, and now he will die that way.

25) Spock’s ultimate fate.

First of all, he KNOWS what he’s about to do. You can see it on his face before he goes to the reactor room to save the ship: he is fully aware that this will lead to his death and it does nothing to change his decision. And even though Khan has died, he has succeeded in his goal to, “keep on hurting,” Kirk from beyond the grave by killing his best friend.

Kirk [trying to get to Spock]: “He’ll die!”

Scotty: “He’s dead already.”

There is this intense feeling of sorrow and helplessness as we watch one of the greatest - if not the greatest - characters to come out of the original series die, tying into the conversation he and Kirk had earlier.

Spock: “The needs of the many...”

Kirk: “Outweigh the needs of the few.”

Spock: “Or the one.”

26) David and Kirk unfortunately don’t get too many moment together, just the two of them. But he did help Kirk through this tough time in his life.

David: “Lieutenant Saavik was right. You never have faced death.”

Kirk: “Not like this.”

David: “You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.”

Kirk: “Just words.”

David: “But good words. That's where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them. I was wrong about you. And I'm sorry.”

Kirk: “Is that what you came here to say?”

David: “Mainly. And also that I'm proud - very proud - to be your son.”

27) But of course, this is a sci-fi movie...

Death is not as permanent as we like to think.

The Wrath of Khan is quite possibly the best film in the entire Star Trek canon. It balances high-stakes action and adventure with the intelligence, philosophy, and thought expected from the series. Ricardo Montalbán is freaking fantastic as Khan, with the rest of the cast delivering standout performances as well. The direction and writing blend together beautifully and it is just an incredibly fun and well done film. If you haven’t seen any Star Trek and you want to, Wrath of Khan is a very good film to start on.

[darnloveablecharacters]

Far From Home, Part Nine: Come Back

Series Summary: Reader is torn from her reality and dumped into the middle of a war. Will she make it home? Or will she find where she belongs? A Rogue One Reader Insert Fanfiction. Gifs and recognizable characters are not mine, but the story and all of the mistakes are!

Far From Home - Masterlist

Chapter Notes: Wow, this one was longer than I expected it to be, but there was a lot to pack in. Finally get another familiar and sassy face :-) Hope you like it!

Warnings for this chapter: killing, injury, language

“This is a terrible plan.” I mutter, weaving through the masses of people on the crowded streets.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” I hear Cassian’s voice say over the communication device in my ear.

The plan was simple, I would find a way to cause a commotion in the street that would draw the troopers. Cassian will watch from the rooftops and verify that there is an opening that we can get to. We will rendezvous at that point and sneak into the building. Easy peasy.

Right…

“Easy for you to say.” I replied. “What if you decide to take a nap up there?”

I heard him chuckle. The sound made my heart skip a beat. I made a mental note that if I survive this, I’m going to make it a personal goal of mine to make him laugh more often.

“General Draven says you’re one of the best students he’s ever had. If I decide to take a nap, I know the mission is in good hands.” He said smugly.

Okay, you can make him laugh after you punch him.

“Very reassuring.” I can’t help but smile though, hearing that General Grumpy Pants had said that about me. I finally reached a good spot and leaned casually against a wall, debating on the best way to cause a diversion. I didn’t have to wait long before my answer walked right into my sight. An armored Gamorrean was strolling down the street speaking loudly in his native tongue to anyone who would listen. I looked around and noticed a Dug setting up a small table of trinkets to sell. Would you believe that luck? Two species prone to violence, about to cross paths when I need them to.

And wouldn’t you know, one of them is about to bump into the other.

“Cassian, get ready.” I said, looking around for something that I could use. I managed to find a small wheeled droid close to me and I grabbed it.

“I’m ready.” He replied calmly. I set the droid down at my feet, ready to wheel it discreetly toward the Gamorrean at the right time.

One wrong move, and you die.

The Gamorrean is close now, maybe ten feet from the Dug’s table laughing wildly.

Three.

The Dug turned his back to the table digging in a crate for more of his trinkets.

Two.

They are almost in the perfect spot now, and I take a deep breath ready to kick and run.

One.

I kicked the droid hard along the ground, toward the Gamorrean’s feet.

Sorry little guy.

I ducked into another alley as the sound of a cracking table rang out and pressed my back to the wall, listening. I was rewarded with the sound of shouts coming from where I had just been standing, and I hoped it was enough to draw the storm troopers.

“Y/N.” I heard Cassian say over the comm.

“Did it work?” I asked, looking around the alley for a way to climb up to the rooftops.

“Yes.” He sounded as if he were stifling laughter. “You should see the fight. I think the Gamorrean is crying.” He said chuckling.

Captain Andor… best spy in the rebellion, distracted by the diversion.

I sighed as I started climbing, “I mean did it draw the troopers away?”

“Yes.” He said, recovering beautifully. “Meet me on the west side of the building. We need to be quick.”

I scrambled to the rooftop and started running toward the warehouse. When I reached it, I peered over the edge to check if the coast was clear. Cassian was already on the ground working on the lock and there was no one else in sight. I dropped to the ground next to him just as he opened the door and we ran in, locking it behind us.

I hadn’t realized how massive the warehouse was until we were inside. Upon first glance, all I could see was an endless labrynth of catwalks and closed doors.

“We’ll need to split up to find it.” Cassian said, pulling out his blaster.

“You go right, and I go left?” I asked pulling out my own blaster.

Cassian nodded his agreement, and I headed toward the first door on the left side.

“Captain?”

I turned back toward Cassian with an eyebrow raised. “Yes, Captain?”

“If you run into any trouble, don’t engage unless you have no choice. This area is too heavily guarded. Just get out and we’ll meet back at the ship.”

“Sure thing, Cap’.”

He narrowed his eyes at me before adding, “Stay in contact.”

I winked at him and opened the door with my blaster raised.

An hour of searching, and I had come up with nothing. There were a few TIE Fighters stored in the main warehouse. But other than that, there was nothing worth taking home. Even more concerning, I never came across another living soul.

We would have run into something or someone by now if there was anything worth taking.

I sighed as I entered the last room, already feeling defeated, when I came face-to-face with a security droid.

Oh, I suppose I spoke too soon.

“Who are you?” the droid asked.

I froze, unsure of what to do next. If I say nothing, it will send a communication and bring in the storm troopers. If I shoot it, the storm troopers will hear the blast and come anyway.

The droid didn’t for me to make a decision.

“You don’t belong here, I am going to have to report you.” He said, reaching toward the computer. Instinctively, I raised my blaster and managed to fire a direct hit on his shoulder, removing his arm. He glanced down at his arm lying on the ground, then back at me. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“Y/N? Y/N! Is everything okay?” Cassian called over the comm’s.

“Everything is fine.” I replied calmly, still pointing my blaster steadily at the droid.

“I heard blaster fire, what happened?” Cassian asked, with an edge in his voice.

I answered him as an idea started forming in my mind. “I ran into a security droid. Did you find anything?”

Better than leaving empty handed I suppose.

“No, we need to leave now. The sound will draw in company.” He said, clearly frustrated.

“I agree, I’ll meet you back at the ship. Get it ready to take off as soon as I get there. I have an idea.” I said, smiling at the droid.

“It’s probably a bad idea.” The droid said flatly.

I heard Cassian’s voice again, “Y/N, what are you…”

“Just trust me, I’ll meet you at the ship.” I said cutting him off.

A moment of silence before he finally said, “Twenty minutes.” And the comm cut off.

I switched off my comm and ran toward the droid. “Come with me.” I said, picking the damaged arm off the ground and strapping it to my backpack.

“No.”

“Come with me now, or I’ll shoot the other arm off.” I said straightening and pointing my blaster at him again.

“It is against my protocol to cooperate with rebel scum like you.”

“If you don’t come with me, I’ll tear your head off and use it as a lamp.”

Well that was violent.

The droid computed my words for a moment, and must have decided I was serious because he said. “I will follow you. But it’s okay, I calculate that you only have a sixteen-point-eight percent chance to make it to your ship alive, and I will be repaired.”

He has a point.

I frowned at this, but not wanting to waste any more time I gestured for him to get moving. “I’ll take those odds.”

He followed me to the same door that Cassian and I had entered through, and I stopped and listened. I didn’t hear anything, so I cracked the door open to peek out. We were fortunate. The guards were still gone.

Must have been one hell of a fight.

I hid my blaster back in my jacket and motioned for the droid to follow me. We slowly made our way into the street and attempted to weave our way through the crowd and blend in at the same time. It was a much harder task with the tall imperial droid walking next to me, but as luck would have it no one seemed to notice, or care, and the droid remained silent.

Hm, maybe we will get out of this unscathed.

“You there! Droid!” I heard the voice of a storm trooper call out.

That’s twice now…

“Say nothing, and keep walking.” I said to the droid walking faster.

“Your chances of survival just dropped to four percent.” He said.

“Don’t tell me the odds right now.” I groaned. I knew all too well that getting the droid off-planet will be difficult if I am discovered. The ship is only a few blocks away, but there are storm troopers everywhere.

“Stop!” the voice called again, closer this time.

“Follow me, this way.” I said, turning into another alley. To my everlasting shock, the droid followed me. We made as many turns as possible to throw off the troopers, but eventually my luck ran out. We turned a corner and came face to face with one.

Damn.

He pointed his blaster at me and addressed the droid, “Droid, what is your identification?”

I moved my hands behind my back, right hand hovering over my hidden blaster.

“I am K-2SO, Imperial Enforcer Droid.” The droid replied.

“What happened to your arm?” The trooper asked.

I held my breath, hoping that I may be lucky enough for the droid to lie.

“She shot it off.” He said, pointing at me. “Then she kidnapped me. I told her it wouldn’t work.”

There goes that plan.

I sighed and shook my head, glaring at the droid.

“Hands up.” The trooper ordered me.

“No problem.” I said, focusing on the trooper. I held my left hand up in surrender and kept my right hand behind me, closing my fingers around my blaster. “I think this is just a mis-understanding. The droid is defective, I’m taking him for repairs.”

The trooper shook his blaster in my direction. “Both hands.” He ordered again.

I sighed, and did as he asked. I ripped my blaster out and shot the storm trooper.

You killed him…

I shook off the thought, deciding to deal with it later. Turning to the droid I said, “Run.” And took off toward the ship. For the second time today, I was shocked to see the droid had followed my command and was running with me. When the ship came into sight and I heard the engines running, I felt a strong wave of relief. It was very short lived though, because that’s when the shooting started. I ducked down as I heard the shots whizzing passed me, and even heard the droid get hit a couple times. But we didn’t stop, and somehow managed to make it on the ship. As soon as we scrambled on board, the door shut behind us and we were lifting into the air. We made it.

For the most part.

I dropped my backpack and the droids arm back in the cargo netting, and collapsed on the bench. I groaned and buried my face in my hands, thinking about the mission. It’s my first mission, and it was a failure.

Well, not a complete failure.

I rubbed my face and looked up at the one thing that could have made the trip worth it. The droid just stood there, with his one arm, staring at me. “You’re not a very intelligent human.” He said after a while.

I agree.

I couldn’t help but laugh at this and leaned back against the wall watching the droid. I kept my blaster in reach, just in case. After we made the jump to hyperspace Cassian ripped off his head set and stormed down staring at the droid, then finally at me. “Why is this droid here?” He demanded, glaring at me.

Wow, I mean he is legitimately pissed.

The droid answered him, “She shot me and made me come with her. I am K-2…”

“Shut up!” Cassian ordered, silencing the droid. He turned to me again. “What the hell were you thinking?” He demanded. “Why did you bring this droid onto my ship?”

The adrenaline had started to wear off, and I was rapidly growing tired. “I didn’t want to leave empty handed. We didn’t find what we were looking for, and he may be able to give us information. If not, you can re-program him to help us. Can’t you?”

If a droid could glare, I imagine that’s what K-2SO was doing right now. Cassian looked at the droid doubtfully. "KX-series droids are built to defend against intrusion. Getting past his programming will be a challenge." He shook his head and looked back at me, anger still in his eyes. “It was still a reckless move. You could have been shot, you could have…”

“She did get shot, and so did I.” The droid said, cutting Cassian off.

“What?” We both said, looking at the droid.

“We both got shot. Her in the shoulder once, and me in the back twice.” He said turning so we could see two holes that hadn’t been there before.

Cassian looked back at me and straight down to my left shoulder. He stepped closer to me, slowly pulled my jacket back and I heard his breath hitch.

That can’t be good.

I looked down at my shoulder as well, and indeed there was a wound there, and a lot of blood. “Oh, would you look at that.” I said paling.

Don’t look at it, you need to focus on something else or you will go into shock.

I chose to watch the droid as Cassian darted to the back of the ship to grab the first aid kit. I realized that the gaping wound and blood loss is probably why I suddenly felt so tired.

I said don’t focus on it, think of something else.

Cassian returned and knelt in front of me, setting the first aid kit on the floor. He helped me take off my jacket and cut just enough of my shirt open to expose the wound. “It doesn’t seem to have hit anything important.” He said shakily, “You should be fine until I get you back to the medics.”

Then why do you sound so worried?

I kept my focus on the droid as Cassian worked, not wanting to embarrass myself by passing out on his ship again. It was hard though, especially when Cassian started cleaning the wound. As soon as the liquid touched it, it burned as if hot metal were being pressed against my skin. I gasped and gripped his shoulder with my right hand. He winced, but kept working. He finished cleaning the wound, ripped a bacta patch out of its package and placed it on me. I sighed in relief and closed my eyes, feeling a cooling sensation spread through me.

Just breathe. You can’t die on your first mission, that would be stupid.

I started giggling and opened my eyes to find the droid still watching me.

“Humans are odd creatures.” He said, cocking his head to the side.

I giggled again and looked down at my hand. I was still gripping Cassian’s shoulder tightly as he cleaned the blood off his hands. Embarrassed, I let go of him and sighed. He looked up at me, concerned. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” I admitted, and giggled again.

His brow creased as he regarded me. “Let’s lie you down, okay?”

I nodded wearily, and he stood to help me lay down on the bench without causing further injury to myself. His hands left me after I got situated and I immediately missed the contact.

I suppose that’s one way to get a man’s attention… just get severely wounded. Maybe not the best way though.

I closed my eyes, ready to sleep when I felt him my head being lifted, and something soft being placed underneath. I wanted to open my eyes to see what was happening, but I simply couldn’t fight the sleep anymore. When I felt a blanket being draped over me, I blindly reached out and grabbed Cassian’s arm. “Thank you, Cassian. For the blanket, I mean.”

I heard him chuckle softly. “You’re welcome Y/N.” I could feel the comforting warmth from his body as sat close to me. He gently released himself from the grip I had on his arm, but simply adjusted it and held on to my hand. He brushed the hair off my forehead causing me to sigh contently.

He’s probably just making sure you don’t have a fever.

“Shut up brain.” I mumbled sleepily.

It’s possible I imagined everything that happened next. But I could swear that I heard him chuckling again. I felt a gentle brush of lips against my forehead and heard his voice saying, “Sleep now, but make sure you come back to me.”

I had no response, just one last thought before darkness took over.

Always.