#but i was running low on phone gifs lmfao so we'll just pretend she's platinum blonde there

[someotherdog]

♥ : for a loving voicemail

♚ : for a confessing voicemail

☆ : for a drunken voicemail

♦: for an apologetic voicemail

for soapgrid!!!

♥ : ingrid didn't know why she was feeling so warm inside. no reason at all for her to be in a good mood, especially considering how awful things had been for her in recent years, but god damn it, ingrid laura sergeant woke up on the right side of the bed that morning! she thought she'd text soap, but he didn't answer the various messages she sent in a row. decidedly annoying, ingrid took her next step and actually called him, only to have to leave a message. the horror.

"heeey soapie. i know it's not very millennial of me to call you and leave a voicemail, but that's what you get for not answering my texts! i guess i don't really have anything important to say, but i was going to stop by your apartment with some starbucks and a bag of nerds gummy clusters—the berry kind, not the rainbow—but you're a loser that doesn't look at their phone, so you get nothing. just because i'm not some super tough macho military guy doesn't mean you can ignore me, y'know? i might've even splurged and taken you on a trip to target but noooo. i guess i'll have to be your sugar mama, and i mean that literally, some other day. maybe i just wanted to say thank you for letting me hang around after everything, since i'm suuuch a nice person, but you'll never know and fuck it's about to cut me of—"

shit. well, she had been rambling anyway. if that didn't get his attention, she didn't know what would.

♚ : she had her good days. she had her bad days. most of them fell into the bad category, but occasionally there was a bright blip in the darkness. a lot of those blips had to do with soap. he didn't even do much, forever a stoic man that was tall as a mountain, but sometimes it felt like he was a mountain that shielded her from things getting too dark and sometimes she wished that he would kiss her. other times, that thought made her cringe. she thought it might've been called trauma bonding or maybe it was transference, she didn't really know or care, but it felt like he was a mountain or a life raft or just fucking something. something for her to hold onto. her siblings couldn't relate to her since she got back, her parents looked at her as if she was a stranger, and all the friends she had before had moved on in ways ingrid didn't know if she would ever be able to do. it was all so stupid. she knew she shouldn't have been calling him, bothering him once again in the middle of the night. maybe that's why her call went to voicemail. perhaps soap was getting sick of her shit. she was somewhat relieved he didn't pick up.

"hey soap. i know it's very late and i call you too much. i don't really know what i wanted to say so bad that i had to call you again at four in the morning. i guess... i guess that i just wanted to thank you. it feels like my heart is missing sometimes, i don't know if you'll understand what i mean by that. but it feels like i have it back when you pick up the phone or you come get me because i haven't left my apartment in days. sometimes... soap, sometimes it feels like i love you. jesus. that was a crazy thing to say. i'm sorry. i don't know that i actually do, if that helps. yeah. shit, i'm sorry. can you pretend you never heard this? thanks. anyway... goodnight. or good morning. whatever. bye."

yeah, she was definitely relieved he didn't pick up.

☆ : ingrid had never really been a party girl. even in high school, she really only attended parties because she felt like she had to. miss teen dream, the popular nice girl that was friends with everyone and cared about her studies, but not too much or she'd be boring. as an adult, she wasn't a stranger to having a glass of wine at dinner or having a cocktail after work with some coworkers, but she hadn't tossed back shots like a college girl since she was a college girl. on that night out though, after dealing with a tough case that made her want to rip her hair out, ingrid somehow kept drinking with barely any convincing from her friends. somehow, she ended up calling soap from the back of her uber.

"ummmm, hello? soapie. how dare you not answer my call? are the fuckin' queen of england or somethi—what? no, i'm not talking to you, uber driver. i don't even know you. anyway, sooooap! will you ever tell me your fucking real name? i know your parents didn't name you after a cleaning product. i mean, i don't know much about your family or really anything about you at all, meanwhile you know, like, my social security number and how much real, actual money i spent on candy crush last summer? that's not very fair. anyway, i hope your parents didn't name you soap. this uber driver keeps giving me weird looks. i don't think he thinks soap is your true christian name either... i gotta go, i kind of feel like throwing up... anyway, learn to answer your fucking phone!"

♦ : she had been a true, honest to god mess lately. ingrid realized she had been acting erratically, but she couldn't stop herself. knowing that she was pushing people away, people that wanted to help her, made her feel sick inside. it made her feel sick inside that no one could understand why she was acting out. no one but soap. she had fucked that up too, though. soap seemed to still feel some sort of protectiveness over her. she began to resent that supposed obligation. she had spent most of her life feeling protected, the eternal damsel in distress. the love that her loved ones felt for her started to feel like a cage and ingrid finally snapped. she cussed everyone out, drank like a fish, tapped out her savings and maxed out her credit cards. no one understood. they didn't close their eyes and see what she had seen. no one but soap. the only person that could understand, and as far as ingrid knew, never wanted to speak to her again. eventually, the darkness closing all the way in, she had to reach out. even if he didn't care for her anymore.

"errr—sorry. hi. um, i didn't expect to get your voicemail. i get it, though. i wouldn't want to talk to me either. i won't take up too much of your time, if you even listen to this or maybe just delete it immediately after seeing it, but i wanted to say that i'm sorry. for all of it. i've been a terrible person for, like, an entire year now. nobody wants to deal with my bullshit anymore, which i understand, but... i don't know. it still sucks, even if i did it to myself. i think i've been going through the five stages of grief or whatever since we came back, even though no one close to me died. just like... grief over the whole situation. we never should've been out there in the first place. anyway... this is getting too long. i'm sorry, soap. let me know if you'd like to go to a movie or something someday. if not, just know i really do wish the best for you. i hope you're coping with it better than i am. military training and all that. but, um, yeah. bye, soap. thank you for saving my life, though i don't know that i deserved it."

she didn't realize she had been crying until it was over.