#but i thought it'd be nice to actually draw a cane for once

[ecclais-fouoras]

SOFTER ON THE INSIDE

Ch1

Warning ⚠️ mention of self harm and scoliosis (a bit of blood)

Wilhelmina venable was a women everyone feared. She held the outpost with her strict rules and her iron fist.

Everybody was sitting at the dinner table eating their cubes.

Everyone feared her except for you, venable was interesting and honestly very attractive.

Gallant started complaining about the food as always followed by coco and you could again feel venable get annoyed at this.

"Come on you can't keep serving us this shit !"

"He's right ! I'm starving and you give us that crap !"

"Stop it coco She's not our enemy for God sakes ! Eat your cube damn ! Your alive !!! You are actually ALIVE when the rest of the world is rather dead or dying. So stop being the ungrateful spoiled bitch you always were and try to at least learn something new for once like how to be a better human being !"

She stood up from her chair and tapped her cane on the ground before she could protest you mumbled "sorry miss venable"

As you sat back on your chair.

"Miss vanderbilt, mrs gallant sit down and eat those damn cubes before I think about punishing you both"

They got back on their seats and ate in silence.

After dinner you went to the Library for a bit before going to bed.

You were drawing on some handmade paper with charcoal and you heard ths soft thud of Venable's cane on the floor.

You immediately pulled down the burned material and cleaned up your hands on your dress.

Your long purple dress was now a bit dirty and you couldn't help but feel like a dear cought in headlights.

"What are you doing in here miss y/l/n

And why are your clothes dirty"

"I'm sorry miss venable i was just drawing in hear and since I don't have any material i had to be a little creative but it turned out to be quite messy"

You said softly.

"Well i suppose you are allowed to draw but you will clean up after your mess"

"Yes of course i will, is there any particular reason why you came here?"

"Can't i just enjoy a little reading in the library"

"Oh..of course i just...well of course you can"

"That's awfully nice of you miss"

She said in a sarcastic tone.

She sat down on the couch and you went back to drawing. She noticed a jar field with red liquid that you seemed to be using as paint with a brush made out of hair and wood. She really admired your inventivity, and how you came up with solution to everything.

"What is that ?" She asked pointing the pot and you got really nervous suddenly.

"...what do you mean?"

"What is the red liquid and where does it comes from ?" She asked in a strict tone

"...it's... blood"

"WHAT !" She was shocked and kind of disappointed you had always been her favorite and now this !

"Wait I CAN EXPLAIN !" You said your voice filled with urgency.

"Of course you will, i expect yo..."

"It's mine !" Before she could finish her sentence you cut her off.

"I'm sorry what ?"

"It's mine, the blood in the cup. I didn't have any paint, and i couldn't get anything to make pigment powder. Since I only have black and grey i figured that red would be more interesting and put some egg yolk and blood in a jar." She was confused.

"Is this your period blood?"

"No it's blood, blood"

"Where did you get it then"

"...well...i just had to make a small incision on my ankle"

"....and why on your ankle miss y/L/n ?"

"Well it's the place that bleeds the most with the littlest pain, and it's also easier to clean and hide..."

"And How Would you know that"

There was a longer pause between you two.

"I expect an answer y/n"

"... I...I just do"

"Try harder, I am not buying it "

"I...I used to self harm...I just...now i know how it bleeds and how much does it hurts"

"..i had no idea I'm sorry"

"It's fine I'm okay now, it took me the apocalypse but i figured if the world is ending with us i should try to stay clean"

"Can I see your drawing ?"

"Yes sure bit i thought you were trying to read ?"

"Yes i wanted to but the couch is uncomfortable"

"Yes that's why I sit here it's better...here have a seat"

You said as you patted the place next to you.

"Here ?"

"Yes, well of you want to of course."

"I do"

There was something in the air between you two and you could feel it.

"When did you start this ? It looks really good, were you an artist before ?"

"Yesterday, and well not as a job but I did practice a lot"

"Anyways you have a lot of talent."

"Thank you, do you want to draw too? I can give you one of the paper sheets i made"

"No thank you"

"Okay"

You two sat there for a few hours until it was time to go back to your rooms, you offered to take her and she kindly accepted. As you were before the door she read a message that was on the door

"I can't help you tonight i had to go and clean something "

"Shit" she cursed behind her breath

"What was that ?" You asked softly "is everything okay ?"

"Yes" she replied coldly, it was odd especially since she had been sweet to you the whole time.

"I can tell there is something wrong, can I help ? You do so much for us, i just want to give you a hand in return"

She didn't say anything as she was considering letting you in, after all you had been nice all along, she could try and trust you. Could she ?

"You can trust me you know. Whatever it is i won't tell them"

She opened her door slightly and pulled you in. Suddenly her stance had changed, she was more tired, more vulnerable, and cute? Yes definitely she looked so sweet.

"..well..this is embarrassing, i"

"Don't be embarrassed around me miss venable, everyone needs a little help every once in awhile, it's also nice to see you like this"

"What do you mean like this ?"

"Well I mean without anyone else to bother us, and you know...like you're normal self"

"I'm not normal y/l/n"

"Please call me y/n, and You are... I mean normal as in being yourself... without trying to scare everyone"

She giggled softly and a smile crept up your face.

"See just like this"

You both stared at each other before you could ask her what she needed help with.

"So you need me for something ?"

".. yes..you see usually miss mead helps me change since I can't pull the zipper of my dresses in my... condition"

"Sure okay...so just turn around and I'll unzip you" you began to make her spin but she stopped you

"Wait..you need to know...i have scoliosis...it looks disgusting.."

"Do you want me to close my eyes if it'd make you more comfortable ? The last thing I want is to hurt you by trying to help. But know that I won't judge you, especially if it's about a physical appearance you can't help with. You know our bodies is what keeps us alive, i spent all my life trying to destroy mine in everyway possible because the feeling of being inside of it was to unbearable. But it turns out my body is what makes me feel, smile, laugh, smell and love. I would not be there if she wasn't. So i had to learn to be kinder to myself"

Her eyes were watery as she took your words in. It was so out of character for her, she always seemed to have everything together but in reality she was a big softy struggling with self image.

"Oh no please don't cry, i don't want to see you be sad." You said as you held her cheek, it was a bold move but she didn't seem to be mad about it.

You decided to stay in front of her to unzip her, and reach behind her to find the hell of her dress.

She flinched lighltly as you dragged it down her spine, and she didn't have time to catch her dress as it fell at her feet. She wore this purple lingerie gown underneath and you couldn't help but stare at her body.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. Leave now please"

"Don't be sorry it's fine, here" you picked her dress up and covered her with it.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of Wilhelmina, you are breathtakingly beautiful"

You left as you pecked her cheek and smiled at her while she looked at you stunned and blushing.

God what were you doing to her ?