#but i think it's almost an outgrowth of hustle culture

[mangled-by-disuse]

It feels much of a muchness with BookTok drama about book reviewers saying they only read dialogue, or that they read the first and last sentence on each page to get through the book quicker, or that they regularly skip entire chapters of a book they've never read before?

And not to bang on about my pet theory but I think it's a result of the capitalistic philosophy of infinite growth being applied to everything, including and especially people. The point is not to read and enjoy classic literature. The point is to become a Widely-Read Person whose "books read" list at the end of each year is sufficiently impressive, and to self-improve.

Because, no, the point isn't to read and interpret it. The point is that you can join in on the exclusive club of Getting The Smart Reference, and that through some inherent transient property of Good Art, consuming it by any means will make you a Better Person.

what is HAPPENING

[gnetophyte]

i’ve cultivated a very pointed distaste for (and, i suppose, a morbid fascination with) fitness gays over time. the amount to which gay men OBSESS over our own and each others’ appearances with dread horror and comorbid fascination, as well as the amount to which that has become so commonplace and normalized that it’s almost never questioned anymore, is beyond insane to me. physical attractiveness, and the fear of its lack, permeates quite literally everything gay men to an alarming degree; it’s a weird culty brand of narcissism and self-hatred that seems utterly impossible to get rid of. 

i think the obsession with physical appearance is a particularly noticeable way that gay men culturally try to reckon with being psychosocially neutured/demasculinized. because maleness is defined in part by its capacity for sexual domination over women, gay men can never, ever be truly male in a culturally normative sense. a ton of the weird and self-harmful shit we do as a community can be seen as an outgrowth of that gender anxiety and the constant need to reassert a maleness that is never whole. gay men crucify ourselves to try to fit some standard of Perfect Male Beauty, because that which is physically unmasculine threatens our imposition within gender and must be purified/punished/hated/abjected. 

i also think the amount to which physical exercise becomes a form of self harm in the gay community is truly concerning. the amount of young gay men inflicting themselves with expensive, painful, time-consuming, and (most importantly) utterly joyless exercise routines is insane. it’s “hustle for your worthiness�� culture times a thousand. and that’s not even getting into the effects of eating disorders and plastic surgery on gay male communities!! it becomes a horrifying form of self-hatred and desperation and it truly terrifies me. 

i am not immune to this, you are not immune to this, and the gay community needs to have a SERIOUS fucking conversation about body image and physical appearance.