#but i think i'll just try to come up with a headcanon that encompasses both

[felanndaris]

if you've tried both options, choose the one you prefer/consider your canon. i would also love to read your thoughts on it so feel free to write them in the replies/tags!

i'm personally torn, as both options have their pros. i love the way Taash lights up when you suggest the more draconic ways and how Rook reacts to Taash's ideas. i also feel like this is the option they're more comfortable with. on the other hand, you can't really have a healthy relationship without communication, and i feel like Rook could try to encourage them to explore being a bit more open with expressing their feelings in a relationship in which they can feel safe and not judged.

[supernovadragoncat]

I wanted to ask you about this since I find you to be one of the more understanding people in this fandom... I'm not writer but I can't help but feel these pointed comments about dark fics (BTW: not talking about Littlefeather's posts; 100% think she's right and fully support her decision) can discourage and alienate writers and readers who do enjoy reading fucked up dynamics and themes. I don't want to enter a fandom that is already made out to be some 'freak fandom' by the larger ASOIAF fandom only to find people lowkey judging others for enjoying darker aspects of an admittedly fucked up canon ship, you get me? I feel like there's SOME policing going on and I just don't see the need to look down on people for enjoying these fics if they are properly tagged or make these little comments about how we somehow we don't truly get the dynamics. Sometimes I want to read about Sandor being a creepy stalker and sometimes I want to read about Sandor having a secret affair with his Queen lol. Why limit the pool? Am I being sensitive?

Hi Sweet Nonny!

First of all, you’re not being sensitive at all. There will always be a place for you and everyone in this fandom. I don’t mean that in a kumbaya way. I mean that in the sense that fandom and shipping should be a fun and enjoyable experience. It shouldn’t be mired in negative feelings. Not for you, not me, not for people who like drastically different things. No one.

Your preferences and triggers, the things that make you squeal with delight and the things that make you “nope” out immediately—they are all valid. Everyone deserves to feel included and safe to explore this ship however they like. That doesn’t mean, of course, we all align, but just that there’s a spirit of respect and understanding extended to others, whether or not they enjoy the same flavors of the ship.

I'll put the rest under the cut since I've apparently written you a novella, but I want to say that I value you in fandom, whoever you are, and thank you for coming to me with this ask! ❤️

The topic of dark content versus light content is one where I do honestly see both sides of the discussion. This is also a complicated discussion because it’s not just a matter of preferences, but very often there needs to be parallel discussions about triggering content as well as kink shaming. That’s where it can get unwieldy—trying balance these facets in a fair and reasoned way.

When discussions of fandom trends come up, it can create a sense that parts of fandom are being ostracized. I empathize with that feeling and I have felt it when these topics are raised. When you’re on the receiving end of “why is this trend/thing happening in fandom?”, it can feel like your preferences are being policed or that you’ve been voted off the island, so to speak.

In 2013/14, there was the great Sandor woobification debate where the fandom tendency to show the softer side of Sandor was hotly debated. After Game of Thrones brought in a lot of new fans in 2011 and 2012, there was the show!sansan vs. book!sansan debate. There were many debates about “how sexy is too sexy?” re: Sandor headcanons (there was bearded insta-thotty Sandor; then that time when several of us fell down a WWE rabbit hole). The rise of Modern AUs. The debates about dark fic and kinks.

All of these were discussions where people undoubtedly--myself included in more than a few--felt like they were not shipping “correctly.” Of course, that’s silly. It’s a ship. You can do whatever you want as long as you’re kind and you tag things properly, which most people are and do. And yet, the best of intentions can still go awry.

In these discussions, sometimes the topic becomes a monolith where, for example, something like Dark Fic™️ encompasses not just the content itself but the writers, readers, and artists who exist in that part of fandom. I think most of the time this isn’t intentional but is where the discussion can become hurtful. This is why Littlefeather’s post was so bang on—it tactfully decoupled the creator/consumers from the content itself, such that there were no value judgements being passed.

If I can offer a perspective from the flip side, imagine you’re scrolling the sansan tag on AO3 and you see an influx of sansan fics that are tooth-rotting fluff or domestic bliss sansan. If this isn’t your jam, it’s perhaps, at worst, annoying or eyeroll-inducing. However, imagine you’re scrolling the sansan AO3 tag and you see an influx of darker fics, especially fics that deal with a topic that is triggering to you. Even if you don’t click on the fic, it very well could still elicit a feeling that the ship isn't a safe space anymore or a general sense of unease.

My point here is that this topic is more complicated than just “don’t like, scroll on” or “dead dove, don’t eat.” Triggers are deeply personal and many times don’t manifest in ways that make sense or are predictable. This is why I personally espouse the mantra of “better to tag liberally than not enough, spoilers be damned” for dark fic.

“…Only to find people lowkey judging others for enjoying darker aspects of an admittedly fucked up canon ship, you get me?”

I get you completely and I think you’ve hit the nail on the head of what the divergences really boil down to.

First of all, no one—I don’t care how long they’ve shipped sansan—gets to lay claim to understanding the dynamic better than anyone else. Only GRRM gets to say that and, 10+ years from the last ASOIAF book, I’m not even sure he gets to say that anymore.

Everyone is drawn to this ship for their own reasons. For some, the darker aspects drew them in—a deeply traumatized man and a girl whose dreams were ground to dust. For others, the canon dynamics are fascinating from a psychological perspective. For some, it’s the BaTB dynamic. For others, it’s envisioning a happier, kinder future for two characters who’ve suffered so much.

There are many sansan shipers who are or were victims of abuse, domestic violence, and/or sexual assault and something about the ship is their way of working through the trauma. Someone once said that they were drawn to the ship because Sandor was the type of protector they wish they’d had when they were being abused. As the saying goes, you never know what battle someone is fighting or has just survived but is still healing from. Fandom may very well be their port in the storm.

However you ended up here, it’s valid. There isn’t a VIP entrance to this ship. We all get here how we get here, and it doesn’t really matter other than it’s cool that this ship means different things to different people. That should be cause for celebration, not division.

When there are people who come to this ship to escape dark things that’ve happened in their life or just to enjoy the love and romance, it’s probably hard to understand why some of us like and want to explore the darker, angstier side of the ship.

When you like and are attracted to the ship because of the complicated, fucked up aspects (I think we can all acknowledge the fucked-up parts of canon sansan), it can feel a bit disingenuous when others are baffled that this ship attracts people who appreciate the darker side.

Whichever side of the ship you like, you don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to justify to anyone why you enjoy what you enjoy. This is especially true of the darker side, which can be subjected to kink shaming. If you like creepy stalker Sandor, you never need to explain why you do and why that's valid. If you write creepy stalker Sandor fic, you don’t need to justify yourself to earn your place in fandom. If someone doesn’t like it, there are 4,000+ fics in the tag. I’m sure they’ll find something they like or they can write the fic they want to read.

Fandom dies without diversity. We need diversity of voices, interpretation of the ship, the identities and histories we all bring to the table, tropes, headcanons, themes. If we have one flavor, guess what? No one’s coming to the popsicle stand. It's amazing that the fandom keeps trucking on with the absolute breadcrumbs GRRM and GOT has given us. I credit that to fandom diversity and a willingness to accept new approaches to the ship.

Write shamelessly what you want to write (just tag it). Read shamelessly what you want to read. Draw shamelessly what you want to draw. Podcast shamelessly what you want to podcast. You get the idea...

If anyone intentionally makes you feel bad about it, block and carry on. I strongly believe in creating a bubble in fandom to exist in if you need to.

I hope this helped, nonny, and my ask box is open to you or anyone, anytime. Take care of yourself! Much love to you. ❤️

[shinyeeveelynn]

pepper jax for the ask game <3

OP SORRY THIS IS LATE I HAD TO RETYPE THE WHOLE ASS THING TWICE. THANKS, MI <3

favorite thing about them

God, my favorite thing about him. He loves so fiercely, both his blood family and his MC brothers. That man was built to protect and those be damned whoever’s stupid enough to mess with his people. Jackson can definitely come off as a surface level fuck boy, but his heart is everything.

least favorite thing about them

The version of him that lurks far, far beneath the surface. The Jackson he becomes in canon when he’s lost all hope and all reason to stay grounded. He is a dark, hollow man with no love left to give and it’s a scary thing to witness.

favorite line

“There is an old saying: "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I don't believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things: your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things to hold onto when you are broken.”

He has a lot of DeepTM dialogue in later seasons and often has hard hitting monologues but I think this one perfectly encompasses who he is at the core.

Bonus mention;

“I’m tired of being crushed under the weight of greedy men who believe in nothing.”

We love a guy who hates the powers that be <3

brOTP

COME ONNNN, DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT? Jackson and Ope, best friends for life.

OTP

Hello? Him and I ofc.

nOTP

OKAY THIS IS GONNA SOUND LIKE JEALOUS CANON HOURS but I'm sorry him and Tara. I don't get how people were into it, they were so toxic and they both knew it. They bothered me way before I caught feelings for him.

random headcanon

Jackson did really awful in school, so he dropped out and barely earned his GED. He got kind of a reputation for being a fuck up for a while because of it, until he made his way into the MC and made a name for himself in part for his ability to be quick thinking and problem solve. Turns out as we know now, he's actually insanely smart. Thing about him is, he just can't be bothered to make an effort towards shit he simply doesn't give a fuck about whether he's capable or not. Never did grow out of that.

unpopular opinion

People often argue whether or not Jax is a good guy who does bad things, or an awful guy who sometimes does good things. I don't think he's either. To me he's one of those characters who does both good things, and awful things, but at his core is way too complicated to really ever be categorized as inherently one or the other. Whichever side outweighs the other for you, it just is what it is. The Jackson you get really just depends on the role you play in his life, for better or worse.

song i associate with them

The White Buffalo cover of The House of the Rising Sun

"There is a house in Charming Town, they call the Rising Sun

And it's been the ruin of many a poor girl

And me, Oh God, I'm one"

It's a cheat answer because the lyrics are rewritten to be about him, lmao. Less cheater answer is Welcome to the Jungle by Guns n Roses.

favorite picture of them

I always send you the bruised picture of him so I'll switch it up-

HIS EYES ARE SO PRETTY AND HIS SMILE AND HIS STUPID BEARD AND AARRCKKKDFASDRGSERD

*ahem*, anyway thanks for the ask again LMFAO.