#but i might be misremembering and i don't want to be disappointed

[mikimeiko]

After the chronological deep dive I did last year with Alt-J's albums, I decided to try the same with Yeasayer's (who are one of my all-time favorite bands, but also I DIDN'T KNOW THEY SPLIT UP in 2019??? ;_;)

Anyway, All Hour Cymbals doesn't start very strong, but then you reach the last part of Wait for the Summer and... oh? AND THEN 2080 fucking obliterated me. I'm feeling all the emotions all at once. Beautiful, beautiful song, I love it so much. And Forgiveness? I didn't even remember it, and it's so soft and good.

(the rest of the album is ok; still worth a listen beginning to end)

[liauditore]

what’s your thoughts on ouran? you mentioned you had a love / hate relationship with it and i think that would be interesting to hear

Oh god post that usually would be reserved for my sideblog incoming. Heads up this one might get uncomfortable, heed the tags. LONG POST.

TL;DR: it's a fun show that's neck deep in the misogyny sauce

I had the true ouran experience of watching it when I was 12 and thinking it was really funny but ultimately finished the show feeling mildly disappointed as well as being Very put off by one specific episode.

As a 12 year old I didn't really have the words to explain why but over the years I thought back to ouran again and again and the more I thought about it the more. Angry isn't really the right emotion I guess. Eyebrow raised emoji-y is more accurate.

Now that I am a bit older and wiser and have read more shoujo, I think the majority of the annoyance and confusion I felt towards ouran, especially nearing the end of the show, came from the fact that it pretty much bait-and-switches its own stance on gender roles, classism and judging by appearance. Please note that I have not rewatched ouran in many years so take all this with a grain of salt and forgive me for anything I'm straight up misremembering.

Haruhi, to me, embodies a very quintessential shoujo protagonist archetype. She's not necessarily radicalized against gender roles, but doesn't place the same importance in gendered performance as her peers. She's also viciously ambitious and doesn't downplay her own intelligence, qualities that her female peers around her have been conditioned to avoid in their cartoonishly extreme upper class upbringings.

However, the other girls' education being a direct result of their education is never really examined. All the other girls at ouran are presented as vapid and "boy-crazy" over the host club. Renge, the only major female character aside from Haruhi herself, is delegated to being comedic relief (and of course, the humour surrounding her almost always has to do with her obsession with Kyoya) with some not so subtle implications that Haruhi is above her girlish antics because Haruhi is... Better, to put it bluntly, in every way including her ability to appeal to men, which can be seen through Kyoya's neutral to distasteful opinion of Renge vs his somewhat unsubtle care and attraction towards Haruhi.

This very unflattering depiction of women other than Haruhi extends to the very queer-coded* Lobelia academy girls, who the host club spends an episode "rescuing" Haruhi from and, once again despite their group leader's more masculine look, reacts in shock and horror at their feminine interests. Eugh, makeup! Disgusting!

*pressing the "nuance" button on this one because we can't expect to apply our understanding of queer signalling on a Japanese highschooler, but the Lobelia girls are. Fairly blatant enough I feel that I almost don't even want to call it coding.

The girls in the show who aren't Haruhi are either boy-crazy and therefore stupid, side characters whose episodes are often tied to getting with a male love interest (who is always depicted as "plain" compared to the desirable men of the host club), rivals in love against Haruhi (like Eclair) or silly evil lesbians.

Speaking of the silly evil lesbians, I do think it's interesting how many times the show feels the need to restate Haruhi's heterosexuality through her endless amounts of blatant disinterest in her fangirls. I briefly wrote once on how patriarchal standards have an amount of gender-nonconformity that can be accepted with women, but violently withdraws that acceptance when it can be even slightly confused with signalling queerness. Every second boomer dad wants a tomboy daughter, yet none of them seem to want trans sons. Idk, food for thought.

It's also fascinating to me that Utena is so much older than Ouran, yet almost feels like a direct response to Ouran's pitfalls at times e.g. the "not like other girls" logic of Ouran's world that pits women against eachother. The only women deserving of sympathy are those who don't act as a "threat" to Haruhi's desireability, everyone else is stupid and beneath her or an evil bitch.

The one woman who is always shown as intelligent and worthy of respect outside of Haruhi herself is Haruhi's deceased mother. Interesting that she had to be dead and more of a concept and motivator for Haruhi instead of.. a character.

If the show was just a marina and the diamonds girls simulator that would be one thing but what I find even more insidious is that not only does it not respect its female cast, Haruhi herself is almost. Instructed? In the show to uphold patriarchal rhetoric, when she entered as a neutral force. With the fact that she acts as the audience stand-in, I find this just the smallest bit troubling.

ESPECIALLY. when talking about the specific episode that really gave me the "I don't like this alot but I can't describe why" feelings when I was 12. Everything else in the show I can look past but this episode genuinely pissed me the fuck off when I was 12 and pisses me off even more now.

I'm talking of course about the "better remember your place in society or men will rape you!!"

In episode 8, the host club visits the beach but instead of the fun beach episode I thought was coming up, 12 year old me was hit was Haruhi being scolded by Tamaki for trying to defend a group of girls from ruffians, simply because she is a girl. Haruhi obviously gets mad.

This in of itself is fine, Tamaki's been shown to be an idiot and very deep in the misogyny/classism sauce, and the way this show mocks that is why I really like him.

But Tamaki is supposed to be IN THE RIGHT this episode, as later Kyoya pretends that he's going to rape Haruhi to teach her a lesson about why women shouldn't confront men I guess. Which, of course, implies quite a lot of very strange things in a show made for young girls, including that if you just abide by gender expectations that are Good and Keep You Safe you... won't be raped? Haruhi even thanks Kyoya for PRETENDING HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER ?

It's this. Very strange and hypocritical moment for this show and really, really soured Kyoya's character for me -- which is a shame cus I do think he's one of the most interesting club members. I'll never not fume about this episode man I literally got into fights with friends over this episode being garbage as a kid and it was one of the smartest opinions I had at that age.

It's also gross to me that this whole thing revolved around, in the first place, Haruhi trying to defend other girls. In a show that keeps isolating Haruhi from them. So to recap 1. DO NOT seek out relationships with other women, they are vapid and won't understand you, certainly not more than the men in your life and 2. If you defend other women (from men), you're being stupid. Get a man to handle it instead, because it's men's duty to defend women, not yours. and if you violate this natural order you deserve to get raped. Hashtag some gender roles are good, actually.

I also have more thoughts on the way it's presented as if being raped as a woman is the worst thing imagineable but Renge's stalker tendencies towards Kyoya are played up for laughs. Shrugs.

The episode even ends with Haruhi saying she wasn't afraid because she knew Kyoya wasn't going to do it, but then ending up in a curled up helpless ball anyway because of. some thunder. really awesome. While I don't have any problem with exploring Haruhi's vulnerability, we never see any of the boys in such a state, reinforcing that this isn't about dropping the facade of unemotional masculinity but Haruhi being... a girl. Barf.

Even completely disregarding that episode, the messaging is. Strange to say the least. I do think this one might be the thing that gets me shot because Tamaki Does come around to appreciating Haruhi as a person and not simply a "woman", but the fact remains that she still acts as a "love interest" from beginning to end. And the whole dynamic of. Haruhi going from completely disinterested to fond of Tamaki over time, and Tamaki learning to abandon his playboy ways and see Haruhi as a person is totally fine and okay. BUT it is a little bit. Oh so NOW you want to talk about seeing women as people.

I feel that I've been. very focused on the hate part of the love hate and I'll be real nowadays that is very much the dominant half. I still like the show just for nostalgia value, the humour, as well as the host club members themselves. Morii and Honey specifically have a really awesome dynamic and I wish we got to see Honey go berserker more but it is what it is. Kyoya, rapey moment aside, is also really fun and maybe one of those characters that made me realise what kind of tropes I like. I will not stand a word of Hikaru and Kaoru slander, those boys are awesome and their incestuous club personas are a great parody of how performative the club really is, and through that how performative society as a whole is when dealing with attraction as a concept. And I actually really like the side characters too, the emo catboy and Renge in particular.

But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't perhaps one of the most anti-feminist bait and switches I'd ever seen in my life.

Haruhi's not even gender-nonconforming!! She's just a normie with a normal amount of care put into gendered presentation but because she's in the psychopath rich people school she SEEMS gender-nonconforming!! Which is fine as I've said before I think a lot of shoujo protagonists are like Haruhi in that their gender is more "I just work here" at best and something used to oppress them at worst, but Haruhi goes out of her way to present more feminine the moment she leaves the school gates.

Big words for this show to come out swinging saying gender roles and expectations attached to them are dumb when its so terrified of actually tackling them. I don't require everything I watch to be queer queer gay gay homosexual transgender beam attack but like?? Why have Haruhi say she dgaf and then have her present feminine anyway? Especially when it's been highlighted to us that her family is dirt poor, yet she still has the money for hair extensions? You're telling me she decided to cut ALL OF HER HAIR OFF FOR A TINY PIECE OF GUM. for no reason at all when she could've easily just cut it into a bob??

FTR I do still like Haruhi which is what makes this all the more frustrating, especially since she's one of the few female anime characters who we're told is supposed to be masc-presenting and actually could pass as that. Mf questioned the system of gender and then proceeded to do fuckall with it. Gets forced into crossdressing but underlines it with "but im not a lesbian" the whole way through. What cowardice. What theory and no practice. What bark but no bite. What a non-theme. Haruhi is the opposite of punk. Centrist ass take of an anime.

Ahem. Biases aside. I just feel like it fails as a romance, fails saying anything substantial about gender or class and ultimately ends up being meaningless fluff at best and pro-rapist and anti-woman at worst.

[subbmissivesuccubus]

Aelumi and Kamisatocest - Swapping

Day 2 of Kinktober! I definitely didn't forget to post here what are you talking about you're crazy

CW : INCEST. DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. AETHER X LUMINE AND AYATO X AYAKA

“Oh man, I’m stuffed!” Xiangling said with a loud sigh as she skipped down the street, “Aether and Lumine are really good cooks.”

“Dinner was delicious.” Kequing said with a nod, “And Ayaka and Ayato are fantastic hosts.”

A large group of their friends were invited to Ayaka and Aether’s home, the couple promising a night of good food and drinks. And wherever they were, their siblings were right there. Lumine and Ayato were the first people to arrive, the couple coming in early to help their family with preparations.

“It must be nice to be so close.” Xiangling said, “And convenient. Your siblings dating each other? You’ll always have a double date, someone to steal groceries from, a place to crash if you need it…”

“Yeah…” Kequing responded, a bit hesitant to say anymore but her mouth worked faster than her brain, “But don’t you think they’re a bit…too close?”

“Who? Aether and Ayaka? Or Lumine and Ayato?”

“Aether and Lumine.” Kequing corrected, “and The Kamisato’s.”

“They’re siblings.” Xiangling said with a shrug, “Nothing wrong in being close.”

“I know but…” Kequing recalled the night and she wasn’t sure but she swore she saw Aether grab Lumine’s butt at some point and she thought she saw Ayato kiss Ayaka on the lips… but she also had a lot to drink and might just be misremembering things.

But if she wasn’t…

No. No. It’s just a misunderstanding created by her alcohol infused brain. There’s no way the siblings were actually the ones romantically involved…no way…

“Nevermind. You’re right.” Kequing said, waving away her suspicions, “Must be nice.”

She needed a nap and hopefully, by tomorrow morning, she’d forget about it.

~~~~~

“Ah- Brother-“

“You like that, baby?”

Lumine snickered as she placed the remaining dishes in the dishwasher while watching the Kamisato’s get touchy. They were all over each other the second the guests left the house. The two of them were on the couch, Ayaka straddling her brother as his hands slid down her body to her ass, taking a greedy handful. Their lips were sealed against each other, sharing a deep kiss, their tongues dancing in harmony.

“How about we get started too, hmm?” Aether asked as he slid behind Lumine, hugging her from the back, “Seeing you in this dress- fuck- I wanted to rip it off of you the moment I saw you.”

He ran his hand along the curve of her body, smoothing the fabric as he glided over her hips. Lumine was wearing a short black dress with a low back, the fabric doing wonders for her figure.

“I could tell.” Lumine teased, “Grabbing my ass like that? What if somebody saw?”

“No one’s caught us in two years. I think we’re fine.” Her brother said, placing a kiss on her shoulder, “But you should know if you wear a skintight dress it would be impossible for me to not touch you.”

“Good.” The blonde woman said, turning around in her brother’s hold to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck, “Why do you think I wore it?”

Aether growled, his hand suddenly grabbing Lumine by the waist before picking her up effortlessly. She squealed as her legs wrapped around his waist on instinct, her brother carrying her easily before he slammed her against the nearest wall.

“Naughty minx.” He growled, “I might just fuck you in front of everybody one day.”

“And undo all out hard work?” Lumine asked, clicking her tongue in mock disappointment, “How irresponsible.”

The twins as well as the Kamisato’s ended up creating a very neat little agreement. It all started on accident two years ago where Aether walked in on Ayaka getting fucked by her brother. When the two of them scrambled to explain themselves, Aether quickly told them to relax, letting them know that the reason he was late to begin with was because he just came back from fucking Lumine.

And so, a happy accident led to the best situation all of them could ask for. They’d tell everyone that Aether and Ayaka were a couple and that Lumine and Ayato were dating as well but behind doors, they’d swap partners and indulge in their true loves and their true desires. And nobody would be any the wiser.

Ayaka gasped as her brother tugged at the buttons of her shirt, the man quickly pulling it apart, not caring that a few buttons were ripped off. She moaned as he leaned down to press kisses on her now exposed chest, his hot tongue peeking out to lick at her plump skin.

“No bra?” he questioned, tongue tracing over a nipple, making her shiver, “I could see your nipples poke through your dress the entire night, baby. How naughty~”

Ayaka didn’t respond, the sensation of her brother’s tongue on her sensitive pink nipples making her choke on any words she might have wanted to say. She was a delicious sight, in a half open white shirt and her skirt pulled up over her hips, exposing her panties to her brother’s greedy groping. His hands on her ass and his mouth on her chest, she couldn’t help but grind her hips against him, his hardening erection pressing up against her core.

The pair of siblings have long since lost any semblance of shame in their relationship. Fucking in front of each other was an almost daily occurrence and foursomes were quite common as well. So no one cared that they were all going to start fucking in the living room.

“Gonna fuck you right against this wall, babe~” Aether growled, leaning down to mouth at Lumine’s neck, “Make you scream so loud the neighbours will complain again~”

“Fuck-“ Lumine mewled as she felt her brother bite at the sensitive part of her neck, “Do it- fuck me- I’m ready for you.”

“Yeah?” Aether asked, hand sliding down her body before finding its way between her legs. Pulling up her dress enough to expose her panties, Aether licked two of his fingers before slipping them in to touch her bare cunt. Lumine gasped and arched her back against the wall as she felt the familiar sensation of her brother’s fingers on her pussy.

“Fuck- you’re so wet, Lumi~” Aether teased as he touched her, fingers collecting her slick before running it up and down her folds, “Were you turned on during dinner too?”

“Mmhmm~” Lumine hummed with a nod, “you look so hot in your suit- and the way you were groping me- how could I not be wet?”

“Fuck-“ Aether cursed again as he leaned forward to kiss her, swallowing her little gasps, “You’re driving me crazy.”

Over on the couch, the Kamisato’s continued their sensual activity, lost in a world of their own. Ayaka gasped as her shirt and skirt were ripped off of her, leaving her only in her panties as her brother gently lowered her to lie down on the sofa. “B-Brother…” Ayaka panted, pussy growing wetter as Ayato kneeled between her legs, the man taking some time to undo his clothing as well, “You’re more…aggressive than usual…”

“Of course I am.” Ayato said as he shrugged off his shirt, smirking as Ayaka’s eyes drank up his physique, her eyes running over his sculpted body, “People told me I was so lucky that Aether would be my brother-in-law someday. Ridiculous. Like I’d let you get married to someone who isn’t me. I have to- no- I need to claim you.”

He leaned forward and kissed her again, Ayaka’s heart swelling at his possessiveness, spreading her legs wider so he could get comfortable. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer, their chests pressed against each other and their privates grinding together in search of that delicious, pleasurable sensation.

“You’re so silly.” Ayaka teased once they broke apart, “You know I belong to you.”

“I know.” Ayato said with a smile, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t get jealous.”

“Well, if being jealous makes you so…passionate then maybe I need to make you jealous more often.”

“Hah. Naughty girl.”

Lumine was a frustrated mess. “Ah- Aether!” She cried out, eyebrows furrowed as Aether started to push inside her, his cock stretching her pussy open. Pressed up against the wall, her dress was pulled upto her waist and her panties simply pushed to the side, Aether’s grip on her thighs bruising as he stuffed her with his dick. “Fuck yes- oh yeah- so good!” She squealed as he thrust into her, his cock curling deliciously inside her.   

The man groaned, lost in the feeling of her pussy squeezing her like a vice, her wetness dripping down his thighs and staining the floor. “Lumi-“ he growled, drinking in her expressions, “Hah- what would the others think, hmm? All of us swapping partners so we can fuck our siblings?”

“W-who cares?” Lumine asked, eyes rolling to the back of her head as his cock started hitting that special spot inside her, “No one can s-stop us anyway~”

“Damn right.” Aether growled, increasing the pace as he pushed her harder against the wall, “your pussy is gripping me so tightly- I love it.”

“Your cock is- oh yes- stretching me s-so good!” Lumine babbled, eyebrows furrowed as she took her pounding, her brother’s balls clapping against her.  “Lift up your dress and show me those tits, Lumi.” Aether demanded, licking his lips as he stared at the way her clothed chest bounced up and down as he thrust into her. She scrambled to grab onto her dress and pull it up even more, a bit of a challenge considering the position but she managed to pull it upto her chin. She felt him twitch inside her as he stared at her bra covered breasts, the ripple of her ample flesh all the more noticeable without the garment in the way. Grabbing onto her bra, she pulled that up as well, her tits springing free once it was up far enough.

“There we go~” Aether cooed, staring at her bare, bouncing breasts like a pervert, “So perfect~” Lumine grabbed onto her tits and started squeezing them, giving Aether a show as her softness spilled between her fingers, her pretty pink nipples hardening from the contact. She loved it when Aether was so infatuated with her body that he loses himself, the man thrusting on autopilot as he stared at her playing with herself.

A shrill squeak broke both of their concentrations, reminding them that there were two other people with them.

“Ah-Ah-brother!” Ayaka cried out loud, nails digging into the fabric of the couch cushion as Ayato’s cock throbbed inside her, the man giving her a second to adjust to his length. He groaned as her pussy clamped around him, her hot, velvet walls squeezing him deliciously. He had her on her knees, taking her from behind, giving him a perfect view of the bright red handprint marking an ass cheek.

A hand went forward and grabbed her by the back of the neck before pushing down with force, making Ayaka press her face against the cushion and keeping her steady for him, her back arched lewdly. With no warning, Ayato gently pulled out all the way to the tip before slamming it all back in with one thrust, making her squeal.

“Greedy little pussy~” Ayato groaned, body shivering as he fought against her tight walls, “So desperate for me- I can barely thrust, baby.”

“B-Brother’s c-cock is- oh Archons-“ Ayaka babbled, head going loopy from the sensation of her pussy getting fucked as well as Ayato’s tight grip on her, “s-stretching me open!”

“Ah, such a perfect cunt~ Like it was made for me, hmm?” Ayato said, pushing her face farther into the couch as he picked up the pace, “Arc that back more for me- good girl.”

The slapping sound of skin against skin echoed through the room, the Kamisato’s so focused on each other that they barely registered the other couple fucking just as passionately a few steps away. The blue haired woman mewled as her big brother’s dick pounded her vigorously, the slick from her cunt allowing him to truly fuck her silly. Her moans and babbles were muffled into the couch cushion, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as the fabric got wet with her drool.

Ayato raised his free hand and gave her ass a smack, making her yelp from the sudden burst of pain, before that hand grabbed her by the hip, gripping onto her tightly. Her pussy always felt heavenly regardless of the countless times the two of them fucked. He would always be grateful for Aether walking in on them and coming up with the idea of swapping their partners behind closed doors.

“Oh, Aether!” Lumine cried out, fingers tugging the hairs at the back of his head, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed as she took her pounding, “I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Me too baby.” Aether said sweat dripping down his brow as he picked up the pace, jackhammering into her. His muscles were starting to burn from carrying Lumine but he’d rather die before he dropped her. “Touch yourself,” he ordered, “cum around my cock.” She nodded her head excitedly, her hand sliding down to toy with her clit. Aether moaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head as her pussy tightened around his cock. His abdomen tightened and he grit his teeth, trying to fight off his orgasm. He wanted to see Lumine cum first.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long. Legs trembling, her face red and her tongue sticking out, Lumine squealed and screamed as she reached her climax. Her back arched and her voice got high, her pussy gushing as the pleasure hit her like a truck. Toes curling, her body shivered and twitched as Aether continued to pound away at her g-spot, her fingers still rubbing desperately at her clit to milk herself of all the pleasure. “That’s it baby, that’s it.” Aether cooed, biting his lower lip as he watched her expression contort, “Good little slut~ Now, get on your fucking knees.”

Once she was satisfied with her orgasm, Aether gently pulled out of her, the slick sound of his cock leaving her fucked open hole making their bodies shiver. Lumine obediently got on her knees, still high from her orgasm but she had enough sense to bring a hand up and start jerking off Aether’s wet, hard cock. He had the desire to cum in her mouth so she quickly sealed her lips around the head of his member, licking at the slit before she moved downwards, taking in more and more of his cock. It was only a matter of seconds before he came and sure enough, she barely needed to bob her head before Aether climaxed.

He shouted out loud, tossing his head back, knees locking in place as he came inside her mouth. Lumine moaned around him, giving his dick more pleasure as she took him all the way in, his dick sliding down her throat as he came. He grit his teeth and grabbed her hair, holding her tight against him, enjoying the deepthroating as his balls clenched with every pump of cum. Lumine looked up at him with watery eyes and she swore she felt his dick instantly harden inside her throat.

“Oh- oh- oh – ah- fuck- brother- c-can I cum?” Ayaka begged from where she was getting pounded, Ayato fucking her mercilessly. The man had brought a leg up to rest on the couch cushion, giving him more movement to go deeper inside her eager hole, his cock pounding against her womb. The hand that was pushing her face into the couch was now pulling at her hair, her ponytail wrapped around his fingers and tugging on it so tightly, Ayaka had no option but to get on her hands and arc her back even more, her neck strained as her brother pulled her by the hair.

“Good girl, asking for permission.” Ayato said, the calmness in his voice a complete contrast to the body shaking pleasure he was feeling, “Let’s cum together baby. And big brother is going to cum – fuck- cum inside you.”

“Th-thank you!” Ayaka cried out, tears in her eyes from how good she was getting pounded, “Thank you b-brother.”

“Beg brother for his cum.”

“C-Can I please have you c-cum brother?” Ayaka begged, not even hesitating, “P-Please cum in my p-pussy! Fill my womb up w-with your seed! I need it- I need you!”

“You want me to cum inside you?”

“Yes!”

“Want brother to breed you?”

“Yes- yes- yes!”

“Ok baby. You’ll get what you want~”

With another sharp smack to her ass, Ayato let go of her hair in favour of grabbing her hips with both hands, smashing his pelvis against hers and getting his cock as deep inside her as it could go. Her babbles and cries were a thing of beauty, his swinging balls slapping against her sensitive clit each time he thrust into her.

“You’re going to cum in 3…2…1…cum!”

Ayaka screamed, eyes rolling to the back of her head as her climax hit her hard. Her whole body convulsed, her toes curling and fingers clenching as she came around Ayato’s cock. Her pussy gushed around him, her juices dripping onto the couch as she came so violently, she swore she blacked out for a second. Ayato was right there with her, the man tossing his head back and moaning loudly as he came inside his sweet, little sister. His balls clenched as he pumped rope after rope of his seed inside her, laughing as he felt her womb get filled up with his sperm. Her body was accepting him greedily, taking in his load and squeezing him so tightly- it was like she wasn’t going to let him pull out.

It took them a few seconds to come down from that high, Ayaka’s hands giving up on her as she fell face first back onto the cushion. Ayato panted behind her, rolling his hips to make sure every drop got milked out of his balls. He whistled at the mess they made, the couch needing a change considering it was now stained with both the Kamisato juices.

He looked back towards where the twins were, smirking as he saw them start to fuck once more on the floor, too desperate for each other to even make their way to the bedroom. Aether had caught Lumine in a mating press and was just going to town on her, cock driving deep inside her eager pussy.

This was the life. Swapping partners so they could love each other with no fear of judgement. “Ready for round two, Ayaka?

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 17

so it's definitely gonna be something big and flashy. i just still hope that it doesn't have any impact on who actually wins.

see, the funny thing is that i genuinely don't think Derek has actually done anything wrong...? like, afaik, he wasn't trying to dismiss Trevor or belittle his feelings, he just... had a crush on Kristal and acted like it. am i misremembering something? or is Trevor just being really petty for no reason? (this isn't Trevor hate; i actually find it quite impressive that i still root for Trevor despite him like objectively being in the wrong. that's just the silly billy rizz i suppose.)

"i started thinking that because of you! but, if your character ends you in a place where you do realize that what people think matters, maybe i'll believe that too, because i care what you think."

this was a nice save from Connor.

so the Sharma family has one daughter who's 31, and one daughter who's <18? that's a pretty big age gap (minimum 14 years), though obviously not an impossible one. i wonder if things just shook out that way, or if they aren't (fully) biologically related?

what did she have against Hunter? hilarious if she only wants her bi daughter to date a women. or maybe she was just a big tessally shipper.

oh this is really sad actually. wild that his parents haven't talked to him in two years, but were willing to send him a letter for the show???

WHO THE FUCK IS EXCITED TO SEE YUL?????

Grett is so cool.

🎶Me encanta el poder y no perder--

REAL ("Connor, you can't be this stupid" echoes in the background)

BRO WHAT--

MY FIRST INSTINCT WAS THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SNAP HIS NECK

WHAT THE FUCK. okay so even a day later i am still reeling from this obviously but i do want to say that it's hilarious that Riya can get directly drop kicked by a horse so hard that it flings her like 60 ft up into the air and be completely fine, but Connor falls off of a horse and nearly gets permanently paralyzed. sucks to be an OLD MAN ig 🔥🔥🔥 (/j)

also i can't believe the break Connor's legs challenge was foreshadowing oh my god--

and that was when Riya knew

she fucked up

this sequence is so melodramatic it's honestly kind of hilarious. also Jake is ready to throttle a bitch.

this was a really nice acting moment, even if the context surrounding it wasn't the best. although, even then, was this move even a bad writing decision? i kind of want to say it was, just because of how out of nowhere it was, but i don't think it was actually a bad choice. like, yes, i too am disappointed that they "gave Riya plot armor" in not having her eliminated this episode, because i don't really think we need to spend more time unpacking her deal.

however, if they're going to keep Riya around for another episode (or even until the finale), i think that giving her another concrete thing to be a part of is a good idea. it'll certainly keep her character memorable for several seasons to come. and, i like how this parallels her tossing Aiden off that cliff in the s2 finale! in that situation, she had just become a villain, and purposefully endangered Aiden with no remorse. this time, she's been a villain for the entire season, but is now forced into the position of hurting Connor on accident and being full of remorse for it. being a villain is exactly what people expect for her, and Riya is nothing if not what people expect. it's a real moment of facing exactly what you've become.

to be honest, even a day after watching the episode, i'm still reeling so hard from what happened that i find it difficult to parse out exactly how i feel about this episode. i may wind up changing my mind, and, who knows, i might even change my mind again after that. all i know is that. we wildin. All Stars is such a season.

given how this game works, i'd honestly be more worried about her sudden athletic prowess. but, a threat's a threat either way.

why did they have him say this directly before Tribal if he cast his vote on Grett? i guess it's foreshadowing for Ally being threatening later?

i mean, i'm not too surprised. if it wasn't going to be Riya, it makes sense that they would eliminate Grett as the biggest threat. plus, Grett was being too obviously awesome. put her on the "best to never win" list.

o7 slay queen

i expect nothing less... than a Jake/Ally/Connor finale, lmao.

what an episode! i'm really glad i wasn't at all spoiled on this one, 'cause i think it was important to go in truly blind to the what-the-fuck-iness of this plot. unfortunately, with Riya still in the game (for now), i do feel like next episode's boot is going to be pretty predictable, but... i've been saying that Riya's elimination is really obvious for the past two episodes now, so, maybe i'll be wrong again!!!

[phagodyke]

Would love to hear ur thoughts on Hades game sometime because I too loved but had beef with the game and I think we are the same ….

yessss, disclaimer I haven't played it for like 3 years and I only played 10 hours/got to the end once before I dropped it so i might be misremembering some things but I stick by my opinions! under the cut cuz this is long as fuck 🫣 my haterism has no limits

ok so basically my grievances w hades can be split into 2 main areas: gameplay + narrative, I'll break them down in that order.

firstly gameplay - roguelikes/lites are my fave genre so I was predominantly approaching hades from this angle + its failure here is the clincher for me.

I found the gameplay repetitive and stale. this isnt a criticism of its permadeath like ive seen some ppl make - I usually relish repetition/grind especially in permadeath-based games bc I find tactical challenge fun + love the learning curve, its soooo rewarding. but hades is ultimately just a glorified button masher. mob/boss movesets are boring + unoriginal, and can generally all be fought the same way. trying to do otherwise drags out fights; it actively discourages emergent gameplay so theres little variance WITHIN runs. the pool of rooms for procedural generation is far too small so theres little variance BETWEEN runs. there's no real challenge to combat, difficulty is mainly increased by heightened mob tankiness as you get further in a run. movement/combat doesn't flow well, its mechanically very weak, relying heavily on its permanent upgrade system instead of developing skill in the way you approach the game. all the weapons feel clunky and don't really offer any unique challenge/benefit so theres virtually no point switching between them and the grind to unlock them all is so pointless… god there are just SOOO many hack n slash crawlers that keep it fresh even for hundreds of hours and hades fails miserably at keeping it fresh for even 5 measly hours :^/

I didnt like the boon system either - its far too simplistic + shallow. its fine to rely on chance, this is part of the random generation, and I think it had a lot of potential in that it was a good way of combining aesthetic w gameplay itself. but this is pretty much the only form of resource management - and theres barely any management to it! theres no reward for exploring different builds, they dont really synergise BETWEEN gods in interesting or useful ways, so the game encourages you to just stick with one god throughout, and biases random generation towards boons youve already collected. part of the fun for me is learning HOW to design a build, and working with the randomiser to play flexibly, but hades just isnt interested in that at all...

also - I don't like the permanent upgrade system, I think this detracts from it as a rogue. every time you should be starting on square 1 - maybe you pick up health upgrades etc throughout each run, and maybe you unlock new weapons etc for the random generation pool, or purely cosmetic upgrades, but the point of permadeath is that it RESETS! zags base health + dmg should be the same 50 hours into the game as when u first open it. make a different genre of game if u dont wanna do that lol. I also think IF youre going to say fuck it and add a permanent upgrade system, you should also add unlockable permanent biome shortcuts bc ur just making it boring as fuck to have to waste time grinding thru earlier biomes with unskippable combat once youre op for them.

I GET that they did this to make the game more accessible* to players who dont typically enjoy rogues, but it just makes it really disappointing for those of us who DO love rogues, and it always feels cheap to me when games are like "well of you want challenge then set the difficulty yourself with these modifiers 🙄" like just make the base difficulty TOUGH up front and then add an easy/story mode and accessibility features* for players who don't want the challenge.. if you're gonna call yourself a rogue the gameplay should be the PRIORITY not a throwaway option

one of my biggest peeves with hades is how people now laud it as one of the best rogues - whenever I mention I like the genre I almost always get asked "oh, like hades?" and it pisses me off so much… its a rogueLITE not roguelike, ie. it has rogue ELEMENTS but its not a true one and imo, it does a pretty shit job implementing them! I would have a lot less resentment towards it if it wasnt marketed as the forefront of the rogue genre - frankly its a very basic rogue with very mid gameplay, its characters/design are by FAR its strong point and it should be sold as such. its misleading and makes me sad that this is what most people think of when they hear rogue :-(

*(side note - accessibility in this game is another major flaw. theres really no excuse for a game as popular as this to be so lacking in accessibility options. allow people to bind keys together or use coloured outlines or have colourblindness settings or alter font/text size etc - its not that hard! dead cells did a great job of this lol)

anyway... moving onto my second criticism - narratively, its also unsatisfying.

the hades plot is, loosely, about a cycle of abuse, so the 2 natural directions to go in with this are either: #1: escaping the cycle, or #2: continuing it forever.

#2 is the easiest to do with a rogue format - bc of permadeath the game is already cyclical, so all you have to do is create an ending which loops perfectly back to the start (smth like 'its impossible to truly defeat/reconcile with his father so even after zag beats him, hades drags him back to the start again). obviously this is a miserable story to tell, but tbh I think it wouldve been interesting + fitting - so much of greek mythos is about cycles and the unchanging nature of the gods, and they LOVED eternal cyclical punishments. plus theres smth rly tragic about zag gradually helping everyone else while no one else can save him from his family LOL

#1 is a bit harder to do - this is the story they WANTED to tell but I just don't think it worked… the driving force plot-wise is his desperation to escape. realistically for this to happen the game needs to be finite, which it can't be due to its rogue nature - somehow you have to end up at the very start again. the main solutions I can think of for this are:

a) after the final boss, insert some time travel shenanigans (easy to fit into the worldbuilding using a character like kronos) and all of zags progress with hades is unspooled. this can be completely out of his control, or it could be a choice the player makes (to end the game here or choose to go back and relive zags past in order to progress npc questlines). eg. what happens in dead cells. again, tragic but it makes more sense to me

-or b) bite the bullet and give the game a completely finite ending after beating hades. if players want to go back and play more to complete other npc questlines, they pick up play from before they beat hades. this isnt explained "narratively" bc the plot is already concluded and now theyre just playing for fun (eg. what going under does)

I also think for a character-focused story-rich game, roguelite was a really terrible choice of genre as it locks every interaction behind pure chance and hours of grinding - just really baffling why they decided to do this, especially when theyve had such success previously making games within different genres (transistor, bastion, pyre). the core of the issue for me is that the devs wanted to create a game that was both story rich AND a rogue - and these things arent mutually exclusive, but the best features of each contradict each other when you try to balance them in a way to appease their respective fans (ie. the challenge/complexity of the gameplay is heavily restricted by keeping it easy for ppl unfamiliar with rogues to pick up, but the strength of the narrative arc is simultaneously weakened by the fact that as a rogue it has to be perpetual bc of permadeath + you're working with procedural generation…)

I'm not going to beef with the artstyle or music bc I rly loved them both (even if I wish the body diversity was better!), or with the interpretations of greek gods bc literally every piece of media abt greek mythos has to decide how to interpret them and I think its silly to be like "this isnt CANON" - since we actually dont HAVE a strict "canon" for many of these stories bc theyve been retold/translated in so many conflicting ways lol. I've just heard ppl complaining abt that and I dont think its worth complaining about 🤷‍♀️

ANYWAY tl;dr: hades should've been an action-heavy isometric metroidvania… it wouldve made it far easier to focus on character questlines (ie. with respawn points + a fixed map), unified the story they wanted to tell with the gameplay SO much more effectively, and allowed them to reach the full potential of both, whilst also playing up to supergiant's previous game-making strengths. but thats my 2 cents!

[waiting-for-a-sunny-day]

Hi, I was looking for your Gojo/236 analysis post but I couldn't find it, I want to show it to people who keep misunderstanding Gojo in his fight against Sukuna and why Gege decided to offscreen... well you know 😭.

Maybe it was two separate posts?

(Btw your analyses are the best in this fandom ❤️)

Hi - thanks so much for the ask!

Ahhh, I'll have to disappoint you, though, because you might be misremembering 😅 (I don't have an analysis post on 236).

But! I'll use this opportunity to plug a few things:

I use #my jjk thoughts tag for both my serious meta analyses and also my jjk shitposts/jokes (so it's a fun mix!)

I use #other people's thoughts for reblogs of analyses I find interesting

And I'm not sure which specific post you're thinking of (sorry!!) but one of my very favorite people did a post on Gojo's characterization (and reader reactions) in 236 (Just go and follow @fushiglow already and consume all of their beautiful fic and art and meta)

...

Actually, I don't have much analysis on Gojo at all (which is interesting because I have a LOT of opinions on him.) I've made short posts about his relationship with Megumi and one relating to my strongly held belief that Gojo cares a lot about his students and their ability to be young and have fun. But maybe I'll have to set aside some time to write out some of my Gojo opinions. (Spoiler: he's flawed and complicated, but imo consistently unfairly treated in-universe and out.)

Most of my in-depth analysis has been on Geto's feelings about Gojo, because (for some reason) I tend to see a lot of people interpreting Geto as callous and unloving towards Gojo (especially in relation to how much Gojo loves Geto), and I really believe they both deeply love each other but experience and act on their love in very different ways. So that's been my soapbox issue again and again and again.

(P.S. If you find the post you're looking for, I'd love to see it! Send it to me? 💛)

[procrastinatorproject]

On the Changing Nature of the Borg

I was thinking about Season 2 of Star Trek: Picard yesterday, and I was once again struck by one of the things that disappointed me about the show: The complete retcon they gave the nature of the Borg.

I'm far from the first person to make this observation, and when I complained to friends about it last night, I was a little worried I might be doing the S2 writers a disservice. Maybe I was misremembering the details from the show and putting too much of my own interpretation on top of it. Or I might have latched on to somebody else's criticism and not checked to see if it was supported by the text.

But then I rewatched episode 2x09, "Hide and Seek" today, expecting to have to look very closely for the details that support my reading - only to find that I didn't over-interpret some throwaway line, this is a key piece of dialogue.

So, here it is: my thoughts and feelings about what happened to the Borg in season 2!

Spoilers for season 2 of Star Trek: Picard ahead, obviously. Also quite a bit of saltiness. (I have tagged this post accordingly, so please take this as your sign to blacklist that tag and/or stop reading if you're not in the mood for saltiness ;) )

Let us begin with a quick walk through the history of the Borg. [Edit: That was a lie, I am incapable of "quick." Prepare yourself for a verbose trek through the history of the Borg.]

In TNG, they were introduced as practically a force of nature. They didn't hold grudges, they weren't ambitious or greedy or megalomaniacal. They didn't spread across the Galaxy because they wanted to be conquerors or rulers. They simply spread. Like a virus, or an invasive plant.

They added new technologies and biology into their collective to improve themselves and their chances of survival. Assimilation was akin to evolution for them. (I know this is not how biological evolution works. I'm using it as shorthand. )

These Borg didn't care that people might not want to be assimilated because for one, their objections would be overwritten once they were Borg, and for another, they had no chance of escaping their fate, anyway.

This first, original form of the Borg, in my opinion, was the most truly alien they have ever been.

This characterization started to collapse a bit once First Contact decided to introduce the Borg Queen as a weird psycho-sexual horror component, making the Borg less of a force of nature and more of a nominally collective hive-mind that operated like a person would.

Voyager definitely added to this interpretation of the Borg, making them more beholden to the moods and wishes of the Queen. They were no longer simply a dispassionate alien organism, moving through the galaxy in a quest for self-improvement because that was their nature. Instead, their characterization became more human, pursuing specific goals, strategies and motivations.

On some level, I completely understand this choice. Making your main series villain a force of nature rather than a character with personal motivation is difficult to pull off, especially when that isn't the main story you're trying to tell. But it did end up taking the Borg one step farther away from their original alien-ness.

One thing Voyager added to the mythos, though, that I find deeply fascinating is that instead of having the Borg Queen lust for power and control, or having her act out of fear and self-preservation, they instead focused on the concept of Perfection. In "The Omega Directive", Seven of Nine explains that to the Borg, the pursuit of Perfection is almost spiritual.

According to this interpretation, the Borg don't simply search out and assimilate new species because of an "evolutionary" drive for self-improvement. Instead, they are on a quest to reach a state of absolute perfection. They add new technologies and biological diversity in the hopes of coming closer to this goal and one day finding this most ideal state of existence.

These Borg don't care about your objections to assimilation, because they are convinced that their vision of perfection is universal. Every species must obviously strive for perfection and they can offer that, so why would you ever want to resist? They have no concept of the fact that others might not define perfection in the way they do, might not strive for it at all, or that "perfection" at the cost of giving up all individuality and sovereignty might not be an acceptable trade-off for people.

(And no, Voyager is not internally consistent about this. Barely any long-running tv show is entirely internally consistent. But the point still stands.)

On some level, this drive also brings the Borg closer to humanity: less dispassionate virus and more colonizers who come to extract value from “lesser cultures” and impose a more enlightened way of life on them because They Know What's Best. Still, I think the relentless, uncompromizing pursuit of a nigh-spiritual ideal of Perfection and utter disinterest in personhood and self-determination of other people make the Borg into a formidable and, at the end of the day, alien villain.

Which brings us to season 2 of Star Trek: Picard.

The thing that rubbed me the wrong way about the way the Borg were characterized here is summed up in an exchange between Jurati and the Borg Queen:

Jurati: "Millions of species, planets, and still you always needed more." Borg Queen: "Perfection takes time, dear." Jurati: "This was never about perfection or evolution or any of that bullshit. It was never enough, because you're just like me. Lonely."

And that's it. In all of five sentences, we have retconned the entire history, motivation and fundamental nature of one of the main alien species of the Trek universe.

Everything we have been told about the Borg, everything they have said about their reasons and their character, none of it was true. They have been lying to all of us and to themselves this entire time. They aren't a force of nature or a people/collective organism in pursuit of a higher ideal. Instead, it was all a single woman's misguided quest to not feel alone anymore.

Now, I understand that for some people, this revelation adds a new layer of complexity to a villain that had grown somewhat stale. And I have seen others argue that they like the idea that the Borg collective is actually all about connection. If that's you, I'm not saying you're wrong or trying to ruin your enjoyment of these characters.

But personally, I find this development rather disappointing. This plot twist retroactively changes not only the philosophy, psychology, and raison d'être of a fascinating alien culture but also the narrative significance of the Borg in the Trek cosmos.

Before, they were in conflict with the Federation because they refused (or were unable) to look outwards and see that there was more than one "correct" mode of existence, and that the life of people different than them had worth. Now, the conflict arises because they refuse to look inward and acknowledge that what they are really looking for cannot be achieved through conquest.

Where before they assimilated civilizations in a quest for utmost perfection no matter the cost, now they are assimilating masses of people in the hopes of creating a chorus that will drown out the loneliness.

Don't get me wrong, that sort of twist can make for an intriguing villain arc, but firstly, it needs to be executed with a lot more care than season 2 made room for, and secondly, it works a lot better for individuals or groups of individuals than for a species that is ostensibly a telepathic hive-mind.

(Seriously, the in-universe implications -- for the Prime-timeline Borg, the Federation, the xBs -- are staggering and are glossed over completely on the show. Then again, this is the same season that doesn't bother to show (or tell) whether Agnes Jurati chooses to remain with the Borg Queen out of a genuine desire to create a new collective or as a desperate bargain to save her friends. You know. The culminating moment of her character arc in season 2. But that is another rant.)

At the end of the day, I don't feel like this newly-revealed secret motivation adds a fresh layer of complexity to a well-known villain. Instead, I think it takes away many of the aspects that made the Borg intriguing, both narratively and as an alien species, and turns them into something much more human and, frankly, much more banal.

[versadies]

i found your fic "evermore" by chance, and golly, i hope you don't mind me spilling everything about it.

now to clarify...i am someone who's distant with genshin impact (as in, ive put a ton of hours into it, played it an launch even!) but due to the overwhelming fandom and hoyo being....like that, I haven't been able to get into it with good feelings. its still a fun game, despite it all.

so when I got into your fic, I had....how do you say.... less attachment to the characters. I didn't think much of ayato, since his banner started when I quit playing. but I was intrigued with the plot! I'm super familiar with angst! I thought to myself, this will be a fun read.

and....quite frankly...your fic made really invested in these characters. I could feel the reader's pain reminiscing their time with ayato, the small dips and feels with diluc, how thoma has been pining for them this whole time- a very fresh, very interesting perspective to these characters, in a scenario that you couldn't see ingame.

while i expected the "im in a arranged marriage" plot with ayato, I certainty didnt see the twist with diluc! I can see why you said he wasn't leading on, and the revelation makes a bit more sense with ayato's comment of "the wind is going strong" because not only there were rumors, but the fact that those rumors could've reached jean before she could arrive. it would've been messy if she knew, right?

although...on that note, I might be misremembering on my part, but everyone else seems to be...pushing? or rather, interested with how diluc and the reader's relationship. rather than feeling he was leading us on, it was rather you who "lead us on" (im putting this in quotation marks bc i dont like the connotation of the word) which is why I can understand people feeling disappointed because it wasn't clear, even if there was shifts into diluc's pov- why hasn't there been an instance of him thinking about her? i think something like that would better ease in the readers about the ship, but also, since you never mentioned diluc's plus one, i assume this was the road you wanted to take- which isn't bad at all! i respect your decision, and im amazed you went through with it, even if it can cause backlash. many respects for you, even moreso you were willing to write an alternative version.

anyways, all in all, amazing fic. I cant wait to see what's next on the board. maybe more angst? haha!

hii !! this is such a late response so you probably thought i ignored this ask, but im not one to ignore ppl’s thoughts on my fics sooo here’s my response :DDD !!

im glad evermore managed to bring you attachment to the characters and how you enjoyed the things evermore has <333 there was acc a few more “hints” (i wouldnt consider these hints seeing how it doesnt hint the fact that diluc is engaged, but rather there’s something secretive about him) i put in some chapters — as for the shifts where the pov is on diluc, ig thats for you to find out in chapter 14 🤫🤫🤫

but overall, it was my bad that i lead you guys on in hopes in hiding the secret plot twist 😣😣 i didnt consider the fact that doing so would lead ppl to be very disappointed so i apologize for that 🙏🙏 thanks for respecting my decision and for staying until this series ends, i hope youll enjoy what’s to come for the future chapters <333

[fountainpenguin]

I've been saying this for years... It feels incredibly unrealistic that every time you pick up a story with arranged marriage, the main character is complaining, and it's often paired with the parents having been arranged (Brave being one example where the mom points out her arrangement).

If it's been normalized as part of your culture for generations and you were raised knowing it would happen someday, there needs to be a VERY good reason why this character is breaking the mold. Some examples might be:

- Fell in love with someone else first before the arrangement occurred (instead of fleeing the arrangement).

If you're already in love with someone who fits well, the reader might be on board with you that you've found your person!

- Not feeling attracted to them and you resist them.

I prefer this one after those betrothed have already met, as I think it's fun to prove a lack of chemistry in awkward conversations or different political opinions in a world where having political conversations with your partner would be very important.

This is where the meat of the story can be! You can have a fantasy war going on in the background and the prince and princess are scrambling around trying to find time for each other while stuffing down food and talking about politics. Where do you draw lines between politics talk and making time for each other??? It's so funny, guys... please.......

I do think the movie Brave was going for the lack of attraction a bit, although I seem to remember it being played mostly as "Look at how non-feminine this girl is; she rips her dresses and is messy and fights all the time" and the movie didn't take a solid stand on "Merida isn't attracted to them" (I haven't seen it in years and might be misremembering, but I think she was mostly just upset her mom was forcing this and her choice was being taken away, but the story could've been the same if instead of arranged marriage, it was about a girl not wanting to move to a different house or something).

However, bonus points for Merida perking up and getting interested when that buff guy was on display before the chief yanked his scrawny son out from behind him, because I think it's funny that for a brief moment, she was thinking about giving that guy a chance.

- Meeting the man you're arranged to marry and being disappointed so you flee.

Dealing With Dragons and The Frog Princess do this well, as the character is specifically fleeing that person and it spirals into bigger things.

- In Dealing With Dragons, Cimorene was already in a spiral of having everything ripped away from her (like fencing lessons, magic lessons, and horseback riding). She found Prince Therandil incredibly boring and he kept brushing her off and wanting to put her in a box. - Hilariously, her main argument to her family to defend her reasoning that Therandil isn't good enough for her is that he hasn't committed any heroic acts like saving her from a giant. Her parents get uncomfortable and tell her that it's short notice, but they'll try to arrange something. I love them. - Cimorene runs off to make crepes for dragons and yells at the knights who come to rescue her. When Prince Therandil shows up, Cimorene makes him help her clean a storage room and he almost gets them both killed. She sets him up with another princess who actually wants to be rescued and they finally part like that; it's fantastic.

- The Frog Princess starts out more vague (if I recall), although I believe it was emphasized that the main reason for the betrothal was because Prince Jorge's kingdom has been wanting a particular stretch of land for years and don't care how they get it. - Emma flees because she couldn't stand Prince Jorge, but I love how she keeps Prince Eadric at arm's length the entire time they're frogs- He keeps asking for kisses and she keeps saying "Dude, not the time, we're literally about to die" and it's great. - I specifically like Jorge because in the sequel book, he's STILL being a problem. After Emma rejects his proposal, his kingdom assumes she and Eadric got hitched (Even though Emma keeps turning Eadric down too) and Jorge and his father declare war on Emma's kingdom. - The sequel book is Dragon's Breath, and Emma spends it running in and out of the castle to collect ingredients for a magic spell to use on an otter. Every now and then her mom will tell her what's going on with Prince Jorge, and the mom changes her opinion from wanting Emma to be with him to "omg, this guy's awful, I would never let you marry him," which I think is funny. Emma straight-up joins her father the king when the battle starts, with her heading out to the front lines. Jorje immediately disrespects her and the reader can see "Yeah, this was not the right match for Emma." I particularly like this example because Jorge wasn't thrown out after Book 1, but continued to be a huge problem to prove how annoying he is. Iirc, he later marries a four-headed troll queen and they have a kid and I think that's extremely funny.

- One thing I feel like I haven't seen represented often enough is a partner who doesn't feel anything, but chooses to get married away.

I've often thought that I'd have been a fantastic royal in an arranged marriage because I've never experienced attraction (and it's uncomfortable to pursue people I'm not attracted to because every attempt feels awkward to me), but I think I'd be comfortable living with someone I got to know and be an awesome housewife in the common medieval fantasy times.

In fact, the IDEAL would be to have a partner approach me from the context of "Neither of us knows anything about each other and it might take some time for us to warm up, but let's work together and have honest communications."

I regularly see posts and articles talk about how you should approach someone if you want to be in a relationship with them because you can't just wait around expecting people to find you and want to date you. There's nothing wrong with approaching, but as someone who lacks attraction, it makes me feel uncomfortable to present myself as though I feel something physical when I know I'm setting myself up to come out to them later.

I've been ghosted so many times even though I thought I did my best and had awesome dates, and it's awkward to look at myself and wonder if I just wasn't showing the right signals. "Oh, yeah... I don't think I ever played with my hair. I probably didn't look at their lips and glance away, and maybe I wasn't great at breaking the touch barrier." Things that don't come naturally to me because my body doesn't signal my brain to do those things, and I'm constantly plagued by the fear that I'll get in a relationship and then be yelled at for "leading the other person on," even if I love them in my own way.

I often say the dating isn't fun to me and I wish I could skip straight into marriage. Give me the partner, hold the guessing games, please.

I feel like I can easily fall for someone who approaches me and is kind to me. I don't think it would be hard for me to devote myself to a genuinely nice, patient person who wants to make a relationship work. But when you feel like anyone could be your person, how do you make the jump and pick one? And what if you've crossed an unspoken social rule, or you ask out someone who has a partner... Regular awkward things, but man. They haunt me.

Taking that awkwardness away would be a fantasy. Can you imagine?? Having someone stay with me, willing to make things work with me, while my inexperienced self learns where my boundaries are and doesn't get my heart broken by getting into relationships that didn't work, and my partner is genuinely willing to care about me and work with me and not immediately dump me for someone "easier to connect with?"

That's a fantasy I never really get to see play out in media. More stories like this, please.

tl;dr - For a decade plus, I've been longing for stories about arranged marriages where the marriage is a background detail and not a big deal, or where the relationship starts out rocky but they actually give each other a chance and try to communicate and make it work. I'm always so shocked and disappointed not to find stories like this (and I'm open for reading recommendations). I just... can't believe how few stories about arranged marriages show them trying to give each other a chance.

Honestly, after my many years of fantasy reading and movies, I can't stand the arranged marriage trope if I can tell the author expects the audience to automatically assume it's a horrible thing that rips away your sense of choice and is going to land you in a terrible life.

You can do more! You can make it fun! Also, please explain why your character is so resistant to the idea when they grew up in a culture where this was the norm, because that implies someone influenced them from the outside and you'd better be able to back that up.

Using myself as example again, even with all the knowledge I have about what the words aromantic and asexual mean to me, I still feel like I'd be down for an arranged marriage if you plopped me in a fantasy world, and I don't even have a cultural background for it.

Obviously every individual will be different, but I've never really seen my specific "Sure, let's give this a shot" feelings represented in media. It seems like all the media to cross my path is very cookie-cutter "They absolutely adore each other" or "One of them secretly resents the other" or "They both dislike each other." I want more nuance and more stories about marrying cautiously, or one character being madly in love with the other even though they're more hesitant and reserved, not sure if they're quite as obsessed.

Great post OP, just wanted to throw some of my thoughts into the ring as well <3

I'm really tired of the "woman sad about her arranged marriage" trope, especially if that woman is royalty.

I am sure that many women across time were sad about their arranged marriages, but I'm sure a lot of others were excited, ambivalent, or resigned. Again, especially if you were royalty! I am sure if you were born a princess, you were trained from birth that your whole purpose in life was to marry someone important to solidify the power of the person on the throne. And honestly, it's an important job, if it wasn't, they wouldn't have tried so hard to do it.

That woman isn't just marrying another king or prince, she's going to be an ambassador of her country. She's supposed to be there promoting good relations. She isn't just a woman being sold off, she has a job! Also, if she is marrying the reigning monarch (or the heir), she may well end up running the country if the king is off at war or he dies when the heir is really young. That happened a lot throughout history! (or maybe she marries the third son and helps him find his way to the throne. Good for her)

It just feels like a modern sentiment being projected back. In Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet's mother first brings up marrying her to Paris, Juliet's basically cool with it and says she'll try to like him. She would have known this was going to happen because that is what rich women do, they marry into another family so their two families can be buddies. What else would she even be expecting?

It wouldn't bother me so much except that it's all we see! Give me a story about a woman who is like, "Cool, I shall give it my all!" Or she's like rolling up her sleeves and planning how she's going to get the court on her side and rule France, power behind the throne style (these women are mostly portrayed as villains, but who is to say the king would do a better job?). And also, have a little faith in women's fathers? You think men in the past didn't occasionally consider the happiness of their daughters? Not even a little bit?

[columbo-of-narnia]

I rewatched season 5 and all it did was further my disappointment. Ive never made it a secret that i only started watching the show for Tanner/Robby. And i only stuck around because i love the character.

But HOLY FUCK did they do Robby so Badly. Like do the writers hate Robby? Cause i think they do. He has been put through so much during the show and alot of it ended up not doing anything for the plot other than traumatize the already moat traumatized kid on the show.

Robby always seems to have the short end of the stick in this show from losing the AV twice because plot demanded it despite him being THE most (other than sam) talented of the participants, to going to juvie (self defense). Robby can never be happy, and his trauma and feelings are always downplayed by the writers.

What did this season have him do? APOLOGIZE TO EVERYONE. I was so tired of seeing Robby apologize without getting any back. Especially from miguel, the scene with Johnny making them fight was so fucking stupid and dangerous. Robby admitting he regretted it was fine and probably good for him because it meant getting the guilt he felt off his chest, BUT he deserved and apology too. Miguel escalated everything during the fight and pushed everything to the point! He needed to apologize to robby too for pushing it that far, because news flash tory and miguel were the aggressors of the school fight and both owe robby and sam and apology. But Robby didnt get one because the writers feel like he either didn't deserve one or miguel shouldnt have to after what happened to him (which was tragic, but he needs to admit his hand in it too).

Hawk owes Robby an apology for a whole fucking lot imo. How he acted during the first all valley, how he jumped robby and sam, how he kept continuously accusing Robby of helping instigate fights between dojos at the water park (despite robby doing what robby does best and trying to stop them? See a pattern? Me too).

Hawk is a miniature Johnny, he never faces any real consequences for his actions. He destroyed the Dojo and nothing. Broke Dimitris arm? Nothing which is assault with bodily harm btw (not self defense at all). And never once did we see Hawk apologize to anyone (i might be misremembering but honestly it doesn't change my mind on hawk). Hawk is the character who owes the most apologies to the most people and yet nothing. But Robby seemingly apologized for everything to everyone amd i hated it.

I sort of enjoyed how everyone became friends at first until i realized that it was all because Robby had to conform and become someone else to fit into everything. Someone mentioned in a post that we saw Chameleon Robby out in full force this season and i couldn't agree more. Robby had to twist and turn to make his relationship with johnny work, and the one thing he was clear about was not liking or wanting to be Miguel's friend. And honestly i don't blame him, especially after johnny lied, tricked, and guilted Robby into helping him rescue miguel (the mexico plot was pretty fucking pointless imo) but Johnny kept pushing and once again made things dangerous for robby and miguel by telling them to fight.

My favorite interaction and the most genuine was with Robby and Daniel and i WISH we got more, because Robby was at his happiest in season 2 when he was living with the Larusso's and was accepted without question, no conditions. He could be himself. Where as with Johnny it feels like his acceptance of robby is conditional. Robby is only welcome if he conforms and essentially submits to what Johnny wants. And Robby has no reason not to think that if he steps out of line Johnny will abandon him like he has done Robbys entire life.

I hated this season solely because of how bad it was for Robby. Pure and simple. The only good thing was how determined Robby was to help Tory and Kenny. He never gave up on them. Robby has this habbit of being who he needs for others. He needs people to believe in him and never give up on him, He needed a mentor whose help wasn't conditional. He needed people to be there for him. But he didnt have that so he became that for others. Despite this being such a shitty season for Robby, at least that shone through.

[outrunningthedark]

Sorry for going back to the "homophobic showrunner" accusation, but I think this is why some people call KR (or Tim) this. People ngl are hurt in a way she explained some of her answers during interviews, but some still can see it's more or less a "normal" PR answer except for the will thing being about her mother and friends. However, this also comes with KR and AK promoting the hell out of L and OS/AK being a bit teasing about what would happen to their characters' tension on the show (which they have to heavily backtrack in separate occasions because of the extremely negative reaction), meanwhile OS has to tiptoe a lot about Buddie.

These two things, combined with that ask about the implication of stringing shippers along, may make some people come to the conclusion that Tim and KR actually don't care much about their fans who ship Buddie or the potential "lesson" that can be learned about making them together, but they care enough about the shippers' loyalty that they are willing to give more "subtle" hints in the sea of everything else. This type of taking advantage is what people are calling homophobia.

Hey, nonnie! I completely understand where you're coming from with this. As I've admitted, KR's answers didn't sit right with me in the moment because it was...a lot to take in without ever hearing her opinion before. But as I dissected her words and compared them to Tim's in previous seasons (which I explained in my other post), I was able to accept that she was just following his example. Problem is, though, that (I think) some people who "turned on her" either don't know what Tim has said or are subconsciously misremembering it just to place blame on the "new showrunner" that has suddenly taken over and done things different from Tim. Which, honestly, should not be all that surprising. Because she is a different person with different ideas. Add to that the fact that KR wanted to bring AK on to work with OS, and thought it was a good idea to have Buck not just cheat on his gf, but cheat with a female firefighter when Eddie has been there for years and tease a flirtatious relationship? Yeah. It's easy to see why the "homophobic" label has been given to her even if you (general you) doesn't agree with it. The biggest thing for me, and you sort of touched on it, isn't so much that I don't believe KR is homophobic in this instance. (You can support certain relationships and have unchecked biases against others. She could be just like Cocoa for all we know.) What I really don't like is that Tim is skating on this topic because "he's not involved with the show". Tim not keeping tabs on OG IS why he should be held EQUALLY responsible for the disappointment, the doubt. Yes, KR is running things and approving scripts, but...what does it say about the man in charge before her that he's not checking in and changing details he doesn't agree with, like for 4x14? It's not good, right? He doesn't see the problem with omitting "important scenes" anymore? He doesn't think there's a problem with giving the audience the 6x01 scene only to go back to 'but they're just bros, though" for weeks? Is he even "having those conversations" at the moment with the OG staff or is Buddie just... on pause until he feels like coming back (because I *highly* doubt he'd reject the credit that'll come with putting them together)? Kristen might be "separating" Buddie for now. But Tim ain't stopping her. Let's not ignore that part.

[humanythings]

Hi!

After a stint of working with an array of families struggling with a combination of cognitive decline and end of life I saw a pattern over and over that I found really heartbreaking. This is my two cents on a very sensitive subject and I'm placing this out there with all my love and best intentions. Everyone in these circumstances must find their own path and there are no magic answers when a person we love starts to slip away from us. This is just a set of things I found that made some interactions with loved ones go a bit smoother when dementia, Alzheimer's or other irreversible cognitive decline was in play.

Cognative decline is heartbreaking and scary for everyone. For the person, it happens to it can be confusing, frightening, disempowering, personality altering, emotionally unstable and the depth of impairment can shift from day to day.

For the family, a person you know and love can begin to behave in ways that are unfamiliar, lose memories you share and hold dear, may be unable to fulfill the role they have always played within the family relationship structure, may need help and assistance and may not be reasonable or rational about those changing needs.

Unfortunately the person you've known and lived with is changing. They may at times be and then not be the person you know. That change can't be halted or repaired in most cases. You've all entered the Alice and Wonderland world of cognitive decline. Alice goes through Wonderland through both enchanting and frightening scenarios always trying to navigate an arbitrarily changing landscape that makes little sense. In some places she ends up too big or too small or keeps being told illogical things by those she meets and she keeps trying to get Wonderland to fit the reality she considers 'normal' and is endlessly frustrated and disappointed because the world doesn't operate according to her 'normal'.

This is what I see happen in a lot of scenarios. A lot of people want desperately to keep 'normal' and it leads them to attempt to constantly challenge their declining loved one to 'correct' what they've mis- spoken or misremembered. This seems an act of love in most cases. People are trying to pull their loved one back into the reality they have habitually shared and are trying to keep that person with them. Things I heard often were things like:

'No mom, that's Jack not Edward.'

'No dad, don't you remember? That's a picture of your parent's house in Maine, not my house.'

'No, I'm your daughter, don't you remember my name is Emily not Jane.'

Over time I found some things that really seemed to help smooth transitions and help the people I was working with to stay in a more positive emotional state. Granted it is very different for me coming into a home for shorter work shifts than family members who have strong emotional bonds and who may be suffering from caregiver burnout with few to no breaks. There are also those who are dealing with a person who has brain alterations that cause meanness or violence so these methods don't always work. But for what it is worth and for those it may help here is my list.

1. Go with it. This is Wonderland and if 'normal' is left at the door it opens a wonder of narrative and sometimes a bit of magic.

Today you might be Jane or Jack or Edward or anyone. There is no need to challenge this most of the time. For a person who is in decline all it does is make them scared and confused because something is really wrong if you can't remember your own child/husband/friend's name. It is possible to have entire lovely positive conversations with a loved one as they time travel back and forth through memories of their lives. Some are real, some are altered, some are made up. That's ok, ask them questions that are about preferences or emotions but aren't fact based and have many right answers.

How soft was Fluffy's fur? Was that your favorite color? What was your favorite thing about ....? How did you feel about that? I don't have a good memory of that, can you describe it to me?

And let them talk. Many will enjoy the winding trip through this mental landscape whether real or imagined and it gives them a way to seamlessly transition back to themselves as their symptoms worsen an improve. Some may not even notice a lapse if no one calls it out which can spare them confusion, discomfort and fear.

I once had someone regale me with charming stories made up on the spot about objects and pets in the room on par with a Beatrix Potter story. It was magical!

2. Do the fun thing, in the moment. Often the oldest and most deeply engrained habits stay the longest. If your family has a set of card games that have been enjoyed forever and your loved one still enjoys them, play! Cook that bread recipe you've made a million times! Enjoy habitual things both large and small that everyone can still do. Have Christmas in June, breakfast for dinner or any other doable enjoyable thing that makes everyone smile. It doesn't have to make sense it just needs to be fun. Just watch for fatigue and make sure there are smooth ways for your loved one to drift in and out either physically or mentally.

3. Try and avoid speaking to them like a child or as if they aren't in the room. Loved ones often drift in and out. They may be non verbal for long periods or act like a tantrum throwing toddler at times but they can also drift back to something like their old selves. Always addressing them normally means those brief moments can be spent connecting in the best possible way rather than smoothing anger or indignation at being treated like they aren't there or aren't adults which can be hard for them in many ways.

4. Odd behaviors. Obviously it is important to keep people safe. The news often has stories of confused seniors wandering out of the house and getting lost and steps to protect them are important. There are a lot of other things that can happen that are odd but largely harmless. Sometimes there is regression to childish behavior or difficulty with emotional regulation. If it isn't hurting anyone it can help to simply be patient or just let them do whatever if it seems to make them happy. Often cognitive decline happens toward the end of life so every moment is precious and has the possibility of being happy or unhappy. Any time weight can be added to the happy side in a harmless way then that's great! What can that look like? 3am trips to the fridge to mix three bowls of cream cheese and brown sugar all part eaten to be found by sleepy and often exasperated caretakers in the morning. Taking out the Christmas ornaments in June to decorate the mantle, wearing three favorite outfits inside out/backwards/on their head simultaneously. Welcome to teatime in Wonderland. Try and have fun with it where you can.

5. Self care. Try and get good support yourself. It is hard to lose a person you love a bit at a time. Usually people start noticing little changes and sometimes large ones. They can be really out if character or disturbing. One day everything is 'normal' then it isn't and can flip back and forth with 'normal' receding a bit more each time. It takes a lot of emotional strength and energy to live in this altering reality as a caregiver.

Wishing all the best for folks taking this on.

[littlebigmouse]

MAG 19-22

HOLD UP I NEED TO THINK.

After MAG19 delightfully disappointed me by promising me cannibalism and then only delivering in the next episode, I began to notice that a lot of the episodes were referencing earlier episodes already. I also patted myself on the back for recognising the story with the tree and the priest.

I think there is a bit of a commonality between the tree-story and the hospital story because both suddenly had the main characters experience intense heat? I might be misremembering, or it could be a coincidence.

Either way, I expected a 'filler' episode from Freefall, some more episodes with small references, and then maybe a smaller 'plot-point' in about 5-10 episodes.

Instead I got Martin kicking in the door and yelling "Time for my amazing entrance!" while I was still getting used to the fact that he in fact, can do that. Calling that Jane Prentiss will invade the archives at some point later, because that would be rad af and I now know that they can do that :3

Although before I forget - Jon mentioned a guy named Simon Fairchild(?) at the end of Freefall (and I got so excited over Martin I forgot in what context), but I don't think I recognise the name from an earlier episode? Given the next episode was also about a random previous name drop - Jane Prentiss? The worms in a trenchcoat - I think he might be relevant and/or may have shown up before, but I don't remember at all.

Also I still don't see hide nor hair from a spin-off about Tim and Sascha breaking into places.

Martin: "You can attest to the soundness of my mind, right?" Jon: [dead silence] Jon: "anyway-"

Jon you are killing me here. But good to see that Jon's disdain of Martin is entirely one-sided, petty, and not strong enough to be genuine in the face of Martin's life being in potential danger. The fact that Jon has a room he uses to sleep in when he stays late, and the fact that Martin doesn't know about it, tells me Martin has a regard for work-life balance Jon completely lacks, and that Jon is in fact the anti-social shut in I believed him to be so far (not that that was a far fetched assumption to make). Although Martin doesn't seem to be a social butterfly either, 13 days of isolation and no friends, family or neighbours came by to check on him or bring over a pot of chicken broth for the soul and the supposed stomach problems. Although they may have all been kept away via Jane Prentiss high-jacking Martin's social media, of course, it still makes me wonder. Or maybe Martin is just +30 and british people just be like that.

... If Martin was stuck for 13 days, and Jane Prentiss used his phone to ward of suspicion, that must mean she charged it. Which means she had access to the exact charger and an electrical socket. Which implies a regular living space for here. I do wonder if the worms count as roommates. I wonder if she got the worms to pluck the charger into the phone. I can't believe they get many household chores done, but maybe I simply underestimate a person full of worms. Made of worms? A Worman. whatever.

Gosh I want to see her instagram tho.

[pagesofkenna]

(LVM SPOILERS for last weeks episode but still kinda big!)

saw a post where someone was talking about being disappointed vax and keyleth didn't kiss after the confession, so i just wanted to go on record saying i am so happy they didn't do the confession kiss

obligatory memory troubles, I might be misremembering, but as I recall Keyleth got two nonconsensual kisses in the first thirty episodes of campaign 1, both of them big 'hero' moments for the male counterparts - the first was kashaw, and he later apologized for it in character (I hope out of character too), and the second was that confession scene with vax

and I don't think every single nonconsensual (I'm maybe using this term loosely) kiss is automatically bad, and that one instance isn't particularly distasteful to me personally (it helps that it did flower into a romance arc), but the fact that it could have established a trend is distasteful to me. liam could have just as easily left out the kissing part, marisha already had to deal with that with this character, but he forced that on her without letting marisha's character react, and that rubs me the wrong way

so in rewriting this to be a more cohesive, truncated, and mature narrative, them taking out the kiss and turning it into a scene where Keyleth is able to react directly and voice her opinion seemed like such a good move to me. she's able to have the instinctive feeling of reciprocating and the thoughtful action of pulling back (and I personally loved that the first half or so of their romance was built around her wanting to reciprocate, but not allowing herself to. the relationship would only move forward with her consent, and she didn't just agree immediately because the dashing rogue wanted her to)

maybe they'll kiss in these last three episodes. I'd honestly be perfectly happy if they didn't. and I would have been OK if they had kissed after than confession, as it would have been Keyleth consciously consenting to it. but it felt to me like the decision to not have them kiss was made in awareness of how... imperfectly... that scene originally played out

[lilbasthet]

I'm curious how do people feel about Lukas' role in Soko Leipzig? I knew that he was going to play a transwomen, but today I read a summary of the episode & realised that his role will be the murder victim. I'm not sure if I'm just misremembering but wasn't Lukas also one of the people who praised Druck for giving us a transcharacter who's not a victim of abuse, fetishization or murder? How can you play a role like that when you want to promote hope & strength. Don't know how to feel about this.

Ahoi sweetie!

Thanks for asking me a question, even though it's a loaded one. I hope I'm not hurting anyone with my answer.

I don't know if I'm the right person to ask because I'm not a trans woman. I have no skin in the game so to say. I'd like to know what the trans women of the fandom think about this.

I'm also not sure what my opinion is yet. I might need to think about this for a little longer. This is news to me. So thanks for letting me know.

I'm reluctant to judge anything before I've seen it for myself. I'd also really like to know what Lukas has to say about this. Maybe somebody will ask him about it if he does another live on insta. However, I'm sure he is aware of the way this role and story could be problematic. So far, it always seemed to me like he's very aware of issues with representation in media.

I think it would be quite problematic to show a trans woman as the victim of violence. We have enough of this in the real world and we've seen it on TV before. And I'd love to see more hopeful positive representation for the trans community. Still, I think those stories deserve to be told as well because they are part of reality, and that part shouldn't be glossed over either. I just wish they'd be handled respectfully, and I don't really trust most German TV shows with that.

I don't know what to think or say about Lukas's role in this. I'm sure he's not completely throwing all his values overboard. I'm also very aware of the fact that as a young pan trans poc he probably doesn't have an easy time getting many roles to choose from in Germany. I mean, we know him because of Druck, but it's not like he's a huge star in Germany. This is the beginning of his career. If he wants to be able to live off his art, he needs to make a name for himself. So I think it might be that he can't easily turn down roles. And I'm far more willing to forgive him (not that he'd need my forgiveness) for taking on roles even though they go against his own values and he knows they are problematic. I'd judge him a lot more for that if he himself had a lot more roles and opportunities to choose from. Sadly, that's not what our society offers, but that's not his fault.

So I guess, if this role for SoKo Leipzig turns out to be bad or negative representation, I'll be disappointed and I'll criticise it. However, I probably won't be mad at Lukas for accepting the role. I think he's doing his best and working hard on educating people and being open-minded and taking criticism seriously. And he needs to eat. So I'll cut him some slack.

I'd totally get it if other people can't or don't want to do that though. They might be a lot more affected than I am by this whole issue.