#but i just really wanted to write something for robbe's 18th

[fanfictiongirlie]

A Song of Sun and Snow - Chapter Nine

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Parings: Robb Stark x Baratheon Reader

Description: You and Robb Stark hated one another. Always had, always will. As the oldest daughter of Robert Baratheon, you had been engaged to Robb for as long as you could remember. He however had always thought of you as a southern bratty princess, and you had thought him as a arrogant jerk. You had reached your 18th name day a few months ago, and in a few weeks you'd be travelling to Winterfell to marry him.

Rating: Explicit

Words: 4,109

P.s: Just something I couldn't get out of my head. No use of Y/N. Only description of 'reader given: the fact that she doesn't look like Joff, Myrcella and Tommen (It's hinted she truly is Robert and Cersei's child) Not much though. Like one line. I wrote this in a different style to my usual style, using 2nd person. Hope it's okay. P.s there will be pregnancy in this, the 'reader' wants to have children. Also the ages are completely different in this fic then they are in the show/book.

A few months later my handmaid's came to inform you that it had been over two months since you last bled, you looked at her shocked thinking back, you had been so busy with your duties you hadn't even paid attention. You excitedly spoke to a healer and they confirmed it. You were pregnant. 

You ran through the halls of the Winterfell castle looking for Robb. 

Robb had been in his study, working on some paperwork when you knocked on the door softly. He looked up, eyebrows raising in curiosity when the door opened and you were there. 

"Darling? What is it?" 

"My love, I have wonderful news" You say, shutting the door behind you. Robb sat up in his seat when you spoke, his own curiosity piqued by your words. He smiled seeing how happy you looked. 

"Do tell, my love"

"I'm with child"

He felt his whole body freeze for a moment, his heart beating wildly in his chest at your words. Pregnant...You were pregnant...A hundred different things rushed through his mind at that, but only one thought stuck out above the rest as he stood from his seat, crossing the distance to you and pulling you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as he spoke.

"You're pregnant...?"

"Yes Robb, we're going to have a baby" You repeated, he held you tight against his body, as he relished in the knowledge. Finally you were with child...Finally, the thing the both of you wanted so badly had happened. 

"Oh my love, I'm so happy" He says, his voice quiet, trembling slightly. 

"Me to, oh Robb, I thought I was barren, I really did, oh I must write to my family!" You ramble, he places a soft kiss to the top of your head. 

"We'll write to your family tomorrow, princess. For now, I'm going to enjoy knowing that I've done my job properly" He grins. 

"Of course my love, you are wonderful, I love you" You smile softly up at him. 

"I love you too, darling. And you're going to be the most wonderful, beautiful mother" 

"And you, the most wonderful father"

The words brought a lump to his throat, that possessive feeling flaring up in his chest again at the thought of you as a mother and him as a father. He squeezed you snugly against him, a hand moving up and down your back as he spoke, his voice softer and a bit rougher than before. 

"I intend to be the best father I can be.. You and our baby...You're everything to me" He whispers. 

"We shall tell your parents, and your siblings" 

He nodded as you spoke, his hand moving from your back to cradle the back of your head, his fingers gently combing through your hair for a few seconds before resuming their previous gentle movement. 

"We'll tell them over dinner tonight" He smiles, you nod and reach up to kiss him. At first the kiss was gentle and soft, but as it went on, it started to become deeper, a bit more passionate and urgent. 

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Once it was evening, the Starks were in the dining hall, you and Robb walked into the hall together, but instead of taking your usual seats the both of you stood directly in front of Robb's parents. 

Lord and Lady Stark looked up at you both, they both smiled and greeted you both. 

"Mother, father...we have news" Robb starts, he sounded nervous, excited? You watched him, chest full of love. He moved slightly, wrapping an arm around your waist. His parents looked up at you expectantly. His siblings were not paying attention, all of them sitting over at a separate table. 

"We...we're having a baby" You smiled softly as he spoke the words. You hugged his side, both his parents gasped, their eyes widening as they processed the news. Then they both smiled widely, clearly surprised, but also clearly very happy. Lord Stark was first to step up, his smile wide and genuine as he moved forward, he pulled Robb into a tight embrace, patting his son on the back firmly as he spoke. 

"That's wonderful news son!"

Lady Stark came to hug you tightly, and so did Lord Stark. And then once the embracing was done Lady Stark held your hands in hers and spoke warmly to you. 

"I'm so happy for you dear. Are you feeling well?"

"I feel fine, I haven't had a chance to even stop and think of it" You answer. Lady Stark hugged me again. 

"That's good to hear dear. I'm so happy for you, both of you" She says, looking from her son to you. 

"Robb, shall we tell your siblings also?" You asked. He nodded, his own excitement and happiness making him eager to tell the rest of his family, he took your hand in his, squeezing it as he spoke. 

"Yes...yes let's tell the others" You both walked to the table where his siblings and Theon sat. They were all sitting and eating, talking amongst themselves, but all looked up as Robb and you approached. There was excitement, a little curiosity on their faces. You crouch down leaning down to you were the same height to Sansa. 

"We're going to have a baby" You say softly only looking at the younger ones, not having interest in making eye contact with Jon and Theon. The children's eyes widen, and they all looked very excited. 

"A baby!" Sansa squeals loudly. 

"That's right, you'll be aunts and uncles" You say softly. Jon and Theon were busy congratulating Robb now. 

"I'm going to be an aunt?" Sansa asks, You nod. 

"Yes, and you'll be the very best" 

You chuckled softly as the children start to chat about it, you stand back up again and lean against Robb. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to him. 

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The next month was when you noticed the bump, you were lying in the bath in yours and Robb's room, idly stroking your skin as the rose scented water lulled you into relaxation. 

Robb had been in his study, working through paperwork, but a thought entered his mind about you. He hadn't seen you at all today, and a mixture of worry and possessiveness made him want to go to your room and check on you. He pushed the thought away, figuring you were okay and he was just being paranoid, until he couldn't think about anything else. He had to go check on you, just to be sure....

He rushed through the halls of the castle to your room. You smiled softly when he walked into the room, the steam from the water swirling around your body. He smiled when he saw you, the sight of you naked in the bath sent a flash of heat through him. And for a moment he had forgotten the reason he came there in the first place. The possessiveness flaring up inside his chest at the sight of you naked and already showing signs of the baby...But then he remembered, and he walked over to the edge of the tub to kneel down beside it, he reached out, placing a hand on you arm, his fingers gently caressing your skin. 

"Hi" You smiled softly. He smiled back, his eyes drifting down so they looked at your stomach, a little bump starting to form there now. He let out a soft sigh, his chest swelled at the sight. 

"Hi darling, how are you feeling?"

"Little sleepy" You answered "Mostly relaxed, my darling"

He chuckled, his fingers moving down to touch the skin of your, moving up over your stomach, feeling the way your body had slowly started to change because of the baby. He gently leant forward, gently placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. 

"Careful, you'll get completely wet" You giggled, the water moving in the bath. 

"I don't mind getting a little bit wet" 

"Such a silly man" 

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A few months into your pregnancy you laid on your shared bed with Robb, you were both naked, and he was tracing his fingers along your very obvious bump. 

"We need to think of names" You sigh happily. He nodded faintly as you spoke, his eyes and his hand gently tracing along the curve of your belly, his hand caressing it gently, relishing in the feel of your body bump. He leant forward and pressed a soft kiss on your stomach, before speaking, his voice soft but a little distracted as he was focused on your bump, at the life growing inside of you. 

"We do...Do you have any ideas, my love?" He asks you. 

"Maybe Aeron for a boy..Alyssa for a girl" You suggested, he smiled at that, gently rubbing a hand over your belly, caressing the bump. 

"I like them, both names are beautiful darling"

"You think? Do you have any ideas?" You ask softly. He thought for a moment, still gently caressing the curve of your belly before his spoke, his voice soft and thoughtful. 

"Cregan for a boy, Lyra for a girl, I have many ideas"

"Wonderful...Oh I love you, and I love our baby" You say, as you watch him touch your belly. It warmed your heart seeing him so soft and gentle with you. 

"I love you too, princess, and I love our baby" 

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Finally you had reached the last month of your pregnancy, you were dressed in one of your comfortable gowns, you walked through the castle wobbling slightly as you stepped into the feast hall. Robb was already waiting for you, his hand ready for you to take. 

"Hello princess" 

"Hello darling"

He smirked as you spoke, one of his arms wrapped around your waist, gently holding you to his side, his free hand moved to gently rub your bump. 

"Are you alright my love?" He asked, frowning that you were up and walking, the maesters had told you they would prefer if you stayed in bed. 

"Yes, I needed a walk" You answer, you were stick of lying in bed all day. He smiled faintly, but a concerned look appeared on his face too as you spoke. He knew you were getting restless. He gently caressed your stomach again, his voice soft but affectionate as he responded. 

"I know darling, but you shouldn't exert yourself too much"

"I'm sorry love, I'm just so bored, I may spend the day in the library" You say, smiling up at him. 

"Alright...just be careful" He murmurs. 

"I will, I wanted to give my husband a kiss before I settle for the day in the library"

A smile appeared on his face, his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him, his eyes looking into yours for a moment. 

"Only one kiss, princess?"

"If you wish to give me more, I wouldn't blame you" 

"I want to give you so many more than just one...I want to spend my entire day with my arms wrapped around you.." He whispered, his face moving closer to yours. 

"If only" You mumbled. 

"Oh but if I had my way, I'd never let go of you.."

"Sweet talker" You say smirking a little. 

He chucked at that, one of his hands moved up to cup your cheek for a moment, slowly dragging his thumb across your skin as he spoke. He still held you against his side, his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you possessively. 

"You like it when I sweet talk you"

"I do...Oh I forgot to mention, I finally received a reply letter from my family" You say excitedly. 

"Oh really? What did they say?"

"They're very happy for us, my love" You say, thrilled. "My siblings miss me, I miss them so much too"

And with that, you reach up and press a short kiss to his lips, when you stepped away he reluctantly let you go as you walked in the direction of the library. 

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You screamed loudly as you pushed hard, you were surrounded midwives and handmaidens, but no Robb. It wasn't customary for the husband to be in the birthing room, but you needed him, felt your body craving him. You cried louder for him, calling his name as you pushed hard. 

Robb paced outside the room nervously, a million different thoughts and worried coursing through his mind as he heard your screams, He'd been told to wait outside, to give you privacy, as it wasn't normal for the husband to be in the room when a woman gave birth. But he couldn't help the worry or the way his heart ached every time he heard your screams... 

"Robb!" You cried again "Please, I need my husband" 

He didn't hesitate after that. At the sound of your voice, tears of desperation and pain clear in it, he pushed the door open and strode into the room. The handmaid's tried to stop him from coming in further but he ignored them and rushed to your side, he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, reaching out to take your hand, gripping it tight, all his worry and anxiousness clear on his face as he looked at you in despair. 

You reached out and placed your hand on his face. "My husband, Robb" You whispered, the pain surged through you again. 

Robb leaned into your touch, a relieved and worried smile appeared on his face. He gripped your hand tighter ad you started screaming again. 

"I'm here, my princess...I'm here"

You both then heard the cries of a baby, you looked down seeing the small bundle being wrapped in cloth to clean them. A look of complete wonder and joy appeared on Robb's face as he looked over to see your baby. 

"We have a child...You did it, princess!"

"I did it" You whimper weakly. 

"You're so incredible, you've done so wonderful, my love" He spoke, you startled him as you started screaming again, you pushed again, your body shaking with pain. 

"Princess...It's okay...I'm here, my sweet girl..I'm right here" He muttered kissing the back of your hand. 

"Oh make it stop!" You groan loudly. 

"I know baby, I know it hurts, but you're doing so well, you've been so brave, so strong, just one more push darling" He rambled softly. You pushed once more and a second set of crying filled the room. Another wave of emotion coursed through Robb, his eyes eye and filled with wonder. You'd managed to push out not one child, but two..He leaned forward, still gripping your hand tight, he pressed a kiss to you cheek. 

"Another baby...You've given me twins, darling...You're incredible"

"My babies" You whispered, wanting to hold them, but they were being cleaned and checked over. You looked over at Robb next, your body felt weak and you were truly exhausted. 

"Rest my darling" He murmured. You nodded and waited, they cleaned the babies, and your handmaid's cleaned your body, the sheets were changed from the horrific bloody ones to fresh clean ones. Once that was done, Robb helped you sit up against the headboard of the bed, the maesters had checked the babies over and then set them in their cribs, finally leaving Robb and you alone with your babies. 

"Bring them over?" You ask, pleading with him. You had waited long enough. Robb smiled and listened walking over to the two babies, he pulled the blanket from them and smiled widely at you. 

"We have one boy and one girl, darling, you did so well" He whispers. 

"One of each?" You giggled softly. Robb carried the first baby over to you, you cradled her close to your chest, tears welling in your eyes as you look down at her. Robb joined you in the bed, holding your little boy in his arms. 

"Alyssa" You whispered still looking down at her. "Sweet girl, little Alyssa"

"Alyssa, a beautiful, sweet name for our beautiful sweet girl" Robb murmured, you looked to him and your son. 

"And our boy? His name?" You had wanted Robb to name him. 

"Our little prince...I'd like to name him Torrhen, after the King who Knelt...Torrhen Stark" He said softly. 

"I like that, Alyssa and Torrhen Stark" You smiled softly, leaning your weakened body against Robb as you both cuddled your babies. 

"You did amazing, princess"

"Thank you darling, I didn't realise childbirth was quite so..."You couldn't think of the word to best describe it. 

He chuckled softly and nodded in agreement. 

"Painful? You did so well darling" 

"Thank you for being there with me" You say looking up at him. Leaning in Robb places a soft and gentle kiss to your forehead. 

"Of course my love, you know me, hate the rules" He smirked. 

"How about you give Torrhen to me, and you go get your parents, I'm sure they're dying to meet the new little Starks" You whisper softly, as you adjust Alyssa into one arm, freeing your other. He nodded at your request, carefully he moved Torrhen into your free arm, you snuggled both babies close to your chest. Robb watched as you held Alyssa and Torrhen, his heart swelled at the sight. He pressed another quick kiss to your forehead before he stood up off the bed and walked to the door. 

"I'll be right back, princess...Don't go anywhere" He grins. 

"Where would I go?" You joke quietly. 

"Oh I don't know... You're a wild one princess, you could always manage to sneak away" He smirked. 

"Shut up, go get your parents" You say shaking your head with a soft smile on your lips. 

"Alright, alright....I'm going.. I'll be right back, princess" 

When Robb left you looked down at the two babies, you kissed both their foreheads feeling overwhelmed as you watched them sleep in your arms, shocked that you had created them. Finally you had your babies. 

"You're so loved, my sweet ones, so loved" You whispered softly to them. 

It wasn't long before Robb returned with his parents in tow, his father's face broke into a wide smile when he saw you, Lady Stark had tears in her eyes as they walked into the room. 

"Your grandchildren" You say smiling softly down at the babies. 

The Lord and Lady Stark both walked over to the bed quickly, their eyes fixed on the babies now in your arms, a soft loving smile on Lord Stark's face, even as his eyes shone with a hint of pride...Lady Stark was practically beaming with pride as she sat down on the bed beside you her hand gently reaching out to caress the baby girl. 

"They're beautiful...Just perfect" She whispered. 

"Their names are Alyssa and Torrhen" You said, smiling, you hadn't stopped looking at the sleeping babies yet. 

"They're both so beautiful my dear, Alyssa and Torrhen, what perfect names" Lady Stark spoke again. 

"Thank you...Robb, darling put them in their cribs?" You ask, feeling the weakness slowly creeping over you again. Robb carried the babies to the cribs, Lord and Lady Stark cooed over them for a little while longer, whilst you felt yourself drift off to sleep. 

In the morning, you woke up to the babies fussing, a wet nurse came in to feed them whilst you watched, Robb slept by you. Once the nurse had fed the babies she laid them back in their cribs and they soon fell asleep again. 

You turn to Robb and gently stroke his face to wake him. 

Robb's eyes fluttered open, groggily blinking his eyes, a sleepy smile quickly made it's way over his face when he saw you. He spoke slowly, his voice still slightly groggy from sleep as he spoke. 

"Good morning darling"

"Good morning love" You smile at him. He reached out to you, taking your hand in his, holding you close to his chest. 

"How are you feeling my love?"

"Okay" You mumble. "Bring our babies here and let us cuddle as a family?"

He couldn't help the smile that spread over his face as you said that, his heart fluttered at your request, at the thought of the four of you all in the bed, together as a little family. He wanted that too, so badly. He nodded at your request, getting out of the bed and walking over to the two cribs, he reached down and took each other, holding them in his big strong arms. 

When he reached the bed, you reached out and took Torrhen from him, snuggling the baby close. Robb climbed into the bed with Alyssa in his arms, he snuggled close to you. 

"They're so perfect" You whisper, looking from one baby to the other. 

"They are perfect, just perfect" Robb whispered. 

"Can't believe we had twins" You say, your voice musing quietly as you looked at the babies. 

"I certainly wasn't expecting it, but...I really won't complain about getting two babies in one go, our very own prince and princess" He smiled softly. 

"I don't think it's my title that carries over to them, I believe it's yours, they're lady and lord, but to us, they'll be princess and prince" You smiled. 

"Yes, I believe you're right princess...Lady and lord...They'll always be little prince and little princess to us" He whispers as he moves his fingers to stroke Alyssa's tiny nose. 

"Yes they will" You whisper as you stroke a finger over Torrhen's cheek. He smiled softly, nodding in agreement, his body relaxed against yours, cuddled up against you now, he moved to stroke a small among of hair on Alyssa's head. After a moment, he leaned in and placed his chin on your shoulder. 

"We did good princess" He whispered. You didn't reply, listening to the obvious voices outside the room, you giggled softly. 

"Listen" You say quietly "I can hear voices, I think your siblings may be outside" 

"Sounds like you're right..I should probably let them in"

"Mm yes, let them in"

He smiles and walks to to the door carefully, not wanting to wake Alyssa in his arms. As he opens the door his younger siblings filtered into the room, including Jon and Theon. 

"Come in, but you must be quiet" You say to them, Jon and Theon stayed by the door with Robb and Alyssa whilst the others rushed to your bedside to take a look at Torrhen. 

"Aren't they the sweetest" You whispered. Each of Robb's siblings gave a different reaction, Sansa looked overjoyed, Rickon looked a little jealous of the attention the new babies were getting. Arya and Bran looked so excited, both fighting to get closer to you. 

"Jon...Theon...come meet your niece" You say, looking at them, finally ready to stop the silent feud you had. "Would you like to hold them?"

Both Jon and Theon seemed surprised by the question, they stayed by the door with Robb and Alyssa. Bran suddenly piped up, speaking in an eager tone as he looked up at you..

"Can I hold them?"

"Of course, come sit" You say motioning to the empty space next to me on the bed. Bran excitedly climbed onto the bed and wiggled close to you, he reached out a little. You moved Torrhen slowly onto his lap, gently showing Bran how to hold the baby. Bran followed your lead, shifting his arms and hands to hold Torrhen. A look of absolute amazement and fascination was on Bran's face as he looked down at Torrhen. 

You smiled softly at the boys and then you looked up to Robb, still standing by the door way, Alyssa now in Jon's arms. 

They all stayed for a little while longer, taking turns holding the babies and asking questions. Soon you found yourself feeling tired again. Robb took one look at you and knew you were tired and needed a bit of rest. So he slowly started to guide his siblings towards leaving. 

"Alright, come guys" 

Finally they left, leaving you and Robb alone with the babies, the wet nurse made visits throughout the day, they were finally put back down to bed in their cribs, you turn to Robb. 

"You alright, princess? Tired?" He asks. 

"Very much so, might you join me for a nap?" You ask sleepily. 

"Of course, darling..Anything you want" He slowly starts to take off his boots, unbuttoning his shirt, getting ready to crawl into the bed with you for a nap. He moved closer to you, pulling your body against his. 

"I love you" 

Smiling at your words, his heart fluttering in his chest, a small shiver running through him as he heard you say it. He gently placed a kiss to the top of your head and another to your shoulder.

 "I love you too princess, I love you so much"

(Well that's the official ending. However I didn't want to stop writing just yet, so I have a few extra chapters coming out)

Taglist:

@quinquinquincy @whatelsecouldgowrong @rheanyraaaa

[allforyoumylovely]

If anyone’s interested, here’s a little fluffy something about how I imagine Robbe and Sander spent the night yesterday after all the birthday celebrations 💕

In a pool of late August sunset

The upper lid on Robbe’s right eye has 122 eyelashes. The other has 117. Sander counts them over and over while Robbe sleeps off the last remnants of his hangover on his chest, damp-haired and warm and sweet-smelling of apples and soap from the shower. Last night, his lashes were cast in dark neon red, framing his brown, almost black, shimmering eyes. Right now, they’re fanned out across the top of his cheeks, golden, the very ends nearly transparent in the patch of buttery evening sunlight that pours over Sander’s couch.

Sander absentmindedly runs his nails over Robbe’s scalp and smooths a hand up and down his spine over the old Bowie shirt that Robbe has claimed as his own. In response, Robbe unconsciously burrows deeper into him, letting out a deep, contented sigh in his sleep, and something squeezes behind Sander’s ribs. Robbe hasn’t been very talkative today, has mostly just been lying curled up against Sander’s side, sleeping, eating junk food, and then sleeping some more.

This angel-like boy with slack, parted lips and slightly pink cheeks squished against Sander’s sternum couldn’t possibly be a bigger contrast to the boy he was last night.

At the club, Robbe was all heavy eyelids, pretty cheekbones in the flashing lights, and sweat-glistening collarbones under a too-big t-shirt. As a joke, the boys had bought him a tacky, gold birthday tiara with the number 18 on it which Robbe had happily worn askew on his head along with bright, loose smiles on his rosy lips that Sander – lovesick and possessive – had kissed and kissed and kissed on the dance floor and at their table to the boys’ groans and complaints. Whenever and wherever he could get his mouth on him, he did it, the bottle of liquor in Robbe’s hand hitting his shoulder blade when he threw his arms around his neck.

Although Robbe had insisted on buying his own alcohol – “I’m eighteen now,” he said with equal parts wonder and nonchalance, “I can buy whatever the fuck I want” – he could easily have left his card at home and still get plastered; girls and boys offered him drinks and shots left and right the whole night. Sander didn’t blame them, though; if he and Robbe weren’t together, he would more than likely have done the same thing, hoping to get those Bambi eyes on him for just a few moments.

Robbe knows he’s beautiful. It’s evident in the way his eyes shine like new stars; it’s in the poise of his shoulders and his every movement, easy and natural. Sander doesn’t have to remind him, but he does anyway. Every day. And he’s bursting at the seams with pride at how Robbe has settled into himself, at how secure he is in who he is now at eighteen compared to his melancholy and miserable but equally as sweet sixteen-year-old self.

Of course he got offered drinks. But when the seventh person approached Robbe, Sander had enough, his chest flaring and burning, and he latched onto Robbe’s neck, taking great delight in Robbe trying to politely decline their offer while he, calculated and devilish, put his tongue and teeth to work, showing them exactly who this boy belonged to.

As Robbe’s coordination started to leave him, so did his filter. “I want you to fuck me in the bathroom,” he told Sander with a boyish bluntness and a kiss-slick, raspberry red mouth while hanging off his neck, nipping at his bottom lip, drunk and loose-limbed and stumbling to the bass-heavy music. And Sander had taken that as his cue to get him home.

When they finally sank into Sander’s bed at four in the morning, stripped of their clothes, teeth brushed (which Robbe did in slow-motion with his eyes closed, taking forever), Robbe whispered, pouty and soft, ”Can we make out for a bit?”

Carding his fingers through his tangled hair, Sander leaned into him and pressed his smile against Robbe’s, tasting and licking and swallowing all his pretty little sounds, but never taking it any further, just keeping it languid and sweet.

Smiling at the thought, Sander brushes a finger over a crimson smudge on the side of Robbe’s neck just below his earlobe, gently pressing into it. The light finds its way to the freckles scattered on the bridge of Robbe’s nose and over his cheekbones, little grains of brown sugar. When one starts to fade, Sander has noticed, another always appears. He finds new ones every day.

As he slips his finger under the chain around Robbe’s neck and places the angel over his own heart, Robbe’s groggy, brown eyes – always a different shade: maple syrup, dark chocolate, honey-gold with sprinkles of stardust – find his.

“Hey,” Sander says, pushing a few locks of hair away from his forehead.

With a sleepy groan, Robbe stretches the best he can in Sander’s hold and clears his throat when no sound comes out as he tries to speak. “Hi,” he whispers.

Sander gives him the glass of water on the coffee table when Robbe hoists himself up a bit and makes a grabby hand at it. “Feel any better?”

Gulping the whole glass down, Robbe nods and collapses back down on Sander’s chest, a hand sneaking under the hem of his shirt. “I’m never drinking again,” he pouts.

“But it looked like you had a good night,” Sander smiles.

And Robbe looks up at him again, droopy-eyed and hoarse and cute. “The best night. Thank you for celebrating with me, baby.” He throws his thigh over Sander’s hips and Sander follows the line of lean muscle with his palm. “But…”

“But what?” Sander mumbles, their mouths brushing as Robbe creeps closer.

Dropping his gaze, a bashful little smile spreads on Robbe’s face, and Sander hooks a finger under his chin, tilting it back up. “But you didn’t fuck me,” Robbe finally says.

“Ah,” Sander smirks, tracing the curve of Robbe’s bottom lip that is almost as soft as he is between his thighs, his other hand already disappearing beneath the waistband of his underwear. “You want that?”

“Yeah,” Robbe exhales when he feels Sander dragging their hips together in a teasing roll.

And Sander flips him around on his back and splays him out over the couch cushions, pushing up his shirt and peeling down his sweatpants, kissing his lips, knees, stomach, hipbones. He has reached for him, he has held him, he has had him like this at sixteen, at seventeen, and now at eighteen; his honey-tongue that he has memorized the shape of; his gold-dappled eyes sweeping over his features; his tender hands on his waist and jaw. And Sander gets a glimpse of it: the rest of their lives together, celebrating birthdays, their shirts tangled up in their laundry, napping in a pool of late August sunset before having lazy sex on the couch.

He is made of nothing but love for this boy, and right there in the fading light, trapped between Robbe’s legs, when the world around him only consists of bright white, and his pulse is a fluttering mess, and every muscle and tendon and cell is shivering, Sander presses his mouth to his safe place, the warm crook of Robbe’s neck, and knows that he’ll still have home there in ten, twenty, fifty years.

[chappedandfadedvds]

Dec 18th, Friday 05:28

Jens waited. Patiently watched the slow rising and falling of the half uncovered bare chest of the boy next to him. It was soothing to see the ease behind the movment.

He was uncertain when exactly he had woken up, given the everpresent darkness of the winter. But he couldn’t have gotten much sleep. That was quite evident in the heaviness of his eyes. At least it must have been a little more than the last couple of days. Not that it didn’t fell awfully short of a proper rest.

With a sigh on his lips, he let his gaze wander up his boyfriends chest, past the dip above the collarbone that gave way to the curve of the slim neck he knew blind. Jens had buried his face in it more than he could count by now.

His eyes reached the jawline and then the chin and lastly the lips, slightly parted. His boyfriend was just very faintly snoring. A smile dared to cross Jens, until his boyfriend stirred awake, Lucas’s eyes blinking open with a low groan.

The alarm had rung.

“I’m sorry.”

The whisper came fast over Jens’s lips, faster than he had anticipated, leading Lucas to turn onto his side. Only to face Jens with an odd confusion at the first words exchanged this early friday morning. However last night must have caught up with Lucas, as it visibly dawned on him how they had left off.

A deep frown graced his boyfriend’s face.

Jens had turned yesterday’s argument over and over again in his head, unable to find peace with it when it painfully accurately ended up the way it did every single time. He hated his past self so much. Therefore Jens had vowed to be a better person, better than with everyone he had been before, and just apologise right away. It had worked last time Jens had fucked up. He prayed it would be enough this time around as well. 

Lucas hadn’t gone home. His boyfriend had stayed. Jens had felt the weight dropping from his shoulders the second he had seen the younger boy already fast asleep upstairs in bed at half past eleven. It must surely count for something, right?

“It‘s okay. I absolutely understand why you were so frustrated. I really should have just done it.” 

Jens decided that he didn’t deserve his boyfriend.

“No, it is not okay. It isn’t your responsibility. It’s mine alone. My house, my things. You helping out so much shouldn’t be the norm. And more than anything, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, especially over such a small thing.”

The two boys fell quiet again for a long second after Jens’s apology. He didn’t believe he should be let that easily of the hook. He should do more than say a couple of words. Jens was sure he had hurt Lucas with his anger over forgotten laundry. 

“Thank you.” Jens breathed out. This was really what he wanted to say all along. 

“For what?”

“Being here?” Jens replied unsure of what exactly made him feel all the things he felt, when he constantly found himself looking at Lucas. Overly grateful for very stolen glance he got, without getting caught by blue eyes staring back.

“Being you, really. Thank you for staying.“ Jens took another deep breath before he continued. „Thank you for not leaving me. I don’t think I could have managed the last couple of weeks without you. And thank you for just accepting all of it. I’m afraid I wouldn’t have done the same if the roles were reversed, to be honest. And to know that feels shit.”

It was true. The moment he came to acknowledge the conclusion Jens had reached last night, after he had joined Lucas in bed, with a mind racing lacking a goal, had been shattering. Jens wouldn’t have stayed around his previous girlfriends. Jens hadn’t stayed around for Robbe, when his best friend needed him most, without a mother and home to stay. 

He knew he wouldn’t have stayed for Lucas if it had been the younger boy’s mom instead.

If he hadn’t already cried as much already, he certainly would have again as he had watched the dark shadows of the branches outside his window. Without tears, he only felt hurt, until exhaustion lead him to fall asleep.

“Well, aren’t we lucky then, that I am the one to help you out.” Lucas said as a matter of fact, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Maybe Jens could cry now? He felt like he should, given his heart was beating fast and loud up to his throat.

“Are you like godsend?“ Jens asked into the space between them. „Honestly. Did you cut of your wings or something. Because I seriously don’t understand how you showed up at my doorstep the moment I needed you most. A person to lean on, to trust. I don’t get it.”

Lucas just laughed back at him, amused by the crinkling of his eyes, as his eyes were still focused on Jens. He felt genuinly dumbfounded at the reaction. He knew it didn’t sounded cool or well worded, but still, it was the most honest he could be at the moment. How else was he able to convey his feelings in a better, more accurate way?

“Sorry.“ Lucas quickly apologised, calming steadly down. The smirk never left. „You are just so cheesy. What movie did you get that from?”

“My own. I’m writing it as we speak.” Jens teased, his confidence brought back, after he had to endure to have been laughed at. Jens couldn’t help but join in on the pleasant joy his boyfriend showed. Perhaps it was a little funny. It almost made him forget about last night. He hoped it would do the same for Lucas. He prayed his boyfriend could forget about it as fast as he could forgive Jens.

„You didn’t know shit about me in October. And when you found out, you somehow decided that this would be a great first relationship experience to have? Why, Luc? Why?“

It was a question Jens had asked himself so often til now, it was burned into his skull. He just couldn’t believe a person to be capable of glossing over the fact, that this was a miserable thing to get oneself into. Willingly on top of it.

„I don’t know. It just felt right, I guess.“ The younger boy said with a shrug of his shoulder.

Jens just decidedly stared at the boy in wonder. Again the voice inside his head reminding him that he didn’t deserve his boyfriend. This was gonna become a common thought, Jens feared.

Lucas didn’t apparently minded the fast pace of change between them. Screaming and hurting in one moment. Forgiving and joking in the next. Because Lucas simply leaned over, kissing Jens out of his stupor, before the younger boy got up.

„Come on, you can’t be late to school two days in a row.“ His boyfriend stated and Jens unfortunately had to agree, as he watched Lucas throw on a hoodie and socks.

„Lucas?“ Jens called for him, as the boy was up and almost at the door, to leave for the bathroom. Jens wasn’t sure where the drastic need suddenly stemmed from. It was the wrong time for it. It really was. Especially after yesterday and everything Jens had done and said. This morning hadn’t been long enough to let the boys forget about it. But Jens just had to say it out loud. Let Lucas know, before the younger boy would leave the room. So Jens sat cautiously up from his spot on the bed, biting his bottom lip.

„Yes?“ 

„I love you.“

He could see the moment it hit Lucas, as the boy paused in his movement. The hand raised to open the door, but never grabbed the knob, instead hovering between the wooden plane and the boy’s body, as he turned slowly. 

Jens shouldn’t have said it. He strongly believed to have been right in his assumption, until Lucas’s face lit up in adoration, a grin reaching from one ear to the other.

„I love you, too.“

And then the younger boy opened the door and left.

Jens just fell back into the pillows, too bewildred to get up right away. 

He could probably take another minute. He needed to take another minute.

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

notes are in the tags somehow... thanks for sticking around! 

[bijvoorbeeldja]

HBD, Robbe

Sander has been preparing something really special for Robbe’s birthday.

///////

Sander hadn’t been able to sleep all night.

He’d been buzzing from the excitement of the preparation for Robbe’s birthday, so anxious to have everything be just right.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, he finally rolled carefully to the edge of the bed, gently removing the blankets and tiptoeing to the door of their bedroom. Robbe, tangled in the mess of sheets with his curly hair sticking this way and that, stirred only for a moment before drifting back to sleep, his breath deep and gentle. Sander’s heart squeezed a little at the sight of him. He loved that boy.

Turning on a light in the kitchen, he found the piece of paper where he’d written the recipe for waffles. He’d called Robbe’s mom weeks ago, listening intently and copying down her specific instructions for his favorite recipe. This breakfast had to be perfect. The day had to be perfect. Exactly right.

He gathered ingredients, opening and closing cupboards gently to muffle any noise. Apart from the usual din from the street outside and the normal nightly sounds of their settling apartment, all was quiet. He liked this time of night, especially now that he’d found the right adjustment of his medication. Things had been better. Now, his thoughts weren’t swirling around in his head violently, and his feelings weren’t suffocating him all the time. Now, he just felt...solitude. And it was in these reverential moments that Sander could think without hindrance on the good things that the past year had brought him. Above all, Robbe. He’d forever be thanking his lucky stars that he’d seen him that night under the moonlight, grateful that even with the challenges, he’d found his one. 

Robbe was so kind, so pure and selfless, and Sander didn’t feel like he deserved him. He didn’t know why Robbe loved him so much, but he trusted in that. He clung to it. He wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to reciprocate that love. Starting with his love’s 18th birthday. 

Before diving into the cooking, Sander quietly tiptoed around the apartment, placing balloons and the big banner he’d painted after school a few weeks back. He hung his favorite pictures of them around the room, smiling at each one as he put them on every surface. Him and Robbe tangled together on the couch. A selfie at a concert they went to. Robbe listening to music, eyes closed and serene. Robbe in the bathtub, trying to hide his face from Sander’s lens. Sander cherished these snapshots.

When he felt the apartment was appropriately festive, he started cooking. He made a mountain of waffles, sliced fruit of every color, and brewed hot coffee. The warm colors of the morning were peeking through the curtains and Sander knew that the light, along with the pleasant smells from the kitchen, would wake Robbe. But he couldn’t wait for him to appear in the kitchen, shirtless, ethereal, and rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he came to kiss him. When the table was set, he hurried to their room, creaked open the door, and glanced once more at the angel in his bed.

Finally, he couldn’t stand it. He hopped onto the bed, crawling over to Robbe’s small frame. He straddled him, leaning down to pepper kisses over his face and down his neck. Soon, the boy was stirring, smiling with his eyes still closed.

“Well, this is a nice wake-up call,” he mumbled, still groggy.

“Happy birthday, Robbe! My love is eighteen today!” Sander said excitedly, joy spilling from his mouth, as he continued to squeeze Robbe and kiss all the skin he could reach. 

“Ah, yes. My birthday. Well, what the birthday boy wants right now is for his boyfriend to get back in his bed and kiss him.”

“Ahh, is that right?” Sander said, smiling.

Robbe nodded. “Yep.”

“Well, the birthday boy gets what he wants,” Sander said, crawling underneath the covers and scooting towards Robbe. Their breath was mingling and Sander felt the warmth of Robbe’s body radiating towards him. He could already feel himself getting dazed.

“Mmmhmm, yep. This is perfect,” Robbe said, reaching out and pulling Sander closer. He slid his hands up to Sander’s face, leaning in to kiss him. It started slow, the good morning, love kisses, sweet and soft. But as Sander kissed him back, Robbe arched even more towards Sander, leaning into him and deepening their embrace. He began to kiss Sander more intensely, sucking on his lips and feeling his tongue. Sander could feel warm energy begin to course through his body and he couldn’t resist leaning right back into Robbe’s yearning. Robbe felt Sander’s submission and began letting his hands roam, down his hips and his thigh, hitching it up to wrap around Robbe’s waist. Sander’s breath caught in his throat, and he let a gentle moan escape him before smiling into Robbe’s next kiss. This boy, this angel, Bambi-like boy, could still turn him completely inside out with want. Now, Robbe was rolling Sander onto his back, settling on top of him as he began kissing down his neck, no longer with gentle pecks but rough bite-like tugs with his lips. 

Sander could no longer control his breathing; it was getting shallow and fast, and soon, all he was going to be able to think about was the pleasure their bodies made together. Before Robbe’s hands or lips could reach to the waistband of his underwear, he grabbed his shoulders gently.

“Wait, Robbe.” He started to sit up, looking down at Robbe’s confused, slightly embarrassed face. 

“I’m sorry, was I not doing a good job? I—” he began, but Sander reached over and held the boy’s face in his hands.

“Robbe, no. It wasn’t that at all. If you want, we can spend your whole birthday in this bed, doing whatever you want. You’re amazing and you can turn me on just by looking at me. I swear.” 

Robbe’s face softened, the worry lines on his forehead relaxing. 

“Then what?” He said softly.

“If we’re going to have sex, and believe me, I am more than okay with that, I think you need fuel first. You have to have breakfast on your birthday.”

Robbe blushed, and Sander could tell that he wasn’t used to being treated this way, having someone spoil him. Sander wanted to do that for him forever.

“Sander, you really don’t need to do all of that. It’s not a big deal.” He started to smirk, a teasing tone creeping into his voice. “All I’m really hungry for is you.” He started to crawl towards Sander again, but Sander hopped out of bed before Robbe could bewitch him again. 

“Nonsense,” he said quickly, trying to gather his bearings. “Birthday breakfast in bed is a must. Stay here.” 

Sander ran to the kitchen, gathering the feast onto a tray which he brought inro their bedroom, singing enthusiastically to Robbe as he did so. Robbe laughed, covering his face with his hands, but smiling wide through his fingers. Sander’s smile was just as wide.

…..

When plates were emptied of food and stomachs achingly full, the two boys lay together, Robbe’s head on Sander’s chest, breathing in unison. They drifted in and out of sleep, dreaming calmly while never breaking their touch on the other. When they woke up again, later in the morning, Sander was eager to give Robbe his present. He couldn’t wait another second. 

He grabbed the long, wrapped box from the closet where he’d hidden it, presenting it to Robbe with a big grin. 

“Happy birthday, my dear Robin,” he said. 

Robbe smiled at the gift, wrapped in blue paper with a gold ribbon. He pulled out first a folded piece of paper, which was tucked under the ribbon. Robbe unfolded the letter, beginning to read the lines carefully. Sander had spent days writing this letter to Robbe, trying to get all of his feelings down. It was unusual at first, trying to form the right words; art was his medium, not the written word. But he kept going, allowing everything he felt for Robbe to spill out onto the paper, as ungraceful as it may have felt.

He watched Robbe’s face as he read, smiling when he smiled, laughing when he laughed. Robbe mouthed the words Sander had written, savoring them completely. Sander even watched him blush and whine “Sander!” when he watched him reach a particularly dirty — and descriptive — portion of the letter. Finally, the boy reached the end, folding the letter back up and placing it gently in his lap. 

“I love you, too, Sander.” He said, his face lit up with the words Sander had dedicated to him. “So much.” He turned then to the present, turning it over in his hands. As he carefully ripped off the paper to reveal a long box, his face grew quizzical. 

“Sander, what in the world is this?” 

But Sander just smiled, sitting at the edge of bed, wringing his hands in nervous, but excited, anticipation. Then Robbe opened the box, revealing Robbe’s skateboard. It was definitely his, scratched and worn, marked by years of use.

“What—” Robbe said, with a puzzled look on his face.

“Turn it over,” Sander said quietly, nerves now twisting at his stomach. What if he hated it?

Robbe flipped the skateboard over, revealing Sander’s most recent masterpiece. On the underside of his board, Sander had painted them. It was Robbe and Sander, their faces connected, but veiled by a layer of rippling water. This painting — it was their first kiss. Vibrant blue hues and undulating lines clearly depicted the two boys, having just emerged from the water of the swimming pool, hungry for each other’s lips. 

Sander could hardly breathe, watching Robbe take in the work, running his fingers lightly over the colors of the image. It felt like minutes were passing in silence.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Sander finally said. “I—I guess I just wanted you to have this memory with you.”

Robbe finally looked up at Sander, his eyes wet with tears. 

Sander’s heart dropped. What had he done? Maybe this skateboard had other meaning to Robbe. It wasn’t his to tamper with. Or maybe Robbe just thought it was stupid and couldn’t believe this is what Sander had actually gifted him for his birthday. Stupid, stupid Sander.

But before these intrusive thoughts could overtake him, he felt the bed move underneath him. Robbe was placing the skateboard gently down beside him on the bed, crawling over to Sander, and kneeled right in front of him, grabbing his face with both hands. Sander watched the tears gather and spill down Robbe’s cheeks.

“Sander,” he said. “This is the most beautiful gift I’ve ever been given.” He paused before speaking again, this time in a softer voice, almost a whisper. “You are wonderful and I don’t deserve you.”

Sander felt like his insides were melting. Love was spilling from every vein in his body, fueling him alive. Robbe liked the gift. Oh, how he loved him. If only he could see how it was the opposite — that he truly didn’t deserve Robbe.

Robbe kissed him once, twice, three times, before pulling back and throwing his arms around Sander, holding him in a tight embrace. 

“Best birthday ever,” Robbe whispered against his neck, sending warm shivers down Sander’s spine. As Robbe pulled back, looking at Sander, he smiled.

“Now,” Robbe said, sitting up, suddenly all business. “Time to finish what we started this morning. I’ve got some good insight from your letter on what you think my best physical characteristics are, so….” his voice got suddenly low as he leaned down to whisper in Sander’s ear. “Get ready to have your world rocked, Mr. Driesen.” 

Sander gulped, his body suddenly feeling like flames. He was not sure he was ready for eighteen-year-old Robbe. 

[all-things-skam]

Jens’ season | Chapter three

Saturday, January 18th

After the pre-game at Robbe’s, they all moved to some party Jana had found and invited them to. He and Jana had made out a bit, but Jens’ mind couldn’t help wandering to Lucas who was making his phone buzz in his pocket. It felt wrong to make out with someone while thinking about someone else. Jens couldn’t do it. So, he made up some lie about feeling dizzy from alcohol and needing to go home.

Regardless, the night had ended late for Jens. He and Lucas had messaged back and forth all night, getting to know each other through Instagram DMs.

Jens learned that Lucas liked Indie Pop music and hated Marvel movies - even though they look really cool. They are just too long and Lucas could never sit through a whole movie. He broke his arm last year trying to do a trick on the half-pipe, but that didn't stop him from going back on his skateboard the following day. Sweet food was his favorite - as stated at the café. Cakes, pastries, chocolate, pancakes...anything sweet.

The more they chatted, Jens realized that Lucas must have plans with his friends. He only got to see them every other weekend and Jens felt bad from keeping the blue-eyed boy on his phone instead of spending time with them. But, Lucas assured him it was okay, that actually he was glad to have company.

His Friday night didn't go how he had expected it to. What was supposed to be a bowling night ended up being Lucas walking a drunk Isa home after she threw up in the bushes in front of the bowling alley. While he had a good laugh trying to get Isa upstairs, he’d rather lay in bed and talk with Jens.

When he woke up, Jens saw a notification from Lucas. His phone was so close to his face due to falling asleep with it last night that the flashing screen made him groan. He squinted and rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the bright light of the screen.

vanderheijden.lucas Jens? Still there?

vanderheijden.lucas Did you fall asleep? If so, good night. I think I’m going to crash too

A smile crept on Jens’ face, reading Lucas’ messages.

Before he could write anything back, his door opened and Lotte ran and jumped on her big brother’s bed, attacking Jens with morning hugs. A bit startled, Jens’ phone slipped from his hands, landing on his comforter. Lotte screeched as Jens caught her and started tickling her.

''S-stop, stop,'' she demanded between giggles, wiggling and trying to push Jens away with her hands and feet. ''It t-tickles.''

Jens pursued his tickle attack for a couple seconds, stopping when he felt his sister’s breath shorten. ‘’That’s what you get for waking me so early.’’

Lotte frowned. ‘’It’s not early. It’s 10am.’’

‘’For me, it is.’’

The eight year old rolled her eyes, annoyed at her brother's late sleeping-in and morning laziness. ‘’I have something for you.’’

Sitting straighter, Jens raised an eyebrow, curious. ‘’Oh? What is it?’’

Looking around on the mattress, Lotte picked up the piece of paper at the end of Jen's bed and handed him the card she made. It was made out of pink cardboard paper and had drawings of colorful balloons on the cover, spelling 'Happy Birthday' in bold letters. There was a ton of stickers and glitter all around, making a mess on Jens' comforter.

The paper was a bit crumpled from the tickle attack, but it's the thought that mattered. Jens smiled and opened the card, reading Lotte's crooked handwriting. These homemade cards his sister gave him every year were Jens' favorite birthday presents - beside money and alcohol. They were childish, but so meaningful.

His smile widened as he read the short yet heartfelt message. He could tell she had the help of a teacher for the spelling, but they were her words.

''I'm going to a sleepover at Ines' tonight and won't be here to give it to you,’’ Lotte explained.

Jens pulled his sister for a big bear hug. “Thank you for this. You're the best little sister ever,'' he said, returning her own words. Lotte grinned and Jens decided to tease her a bit. ‘’You’re the only sister I have though...don’t have much of a choice.’’

The brunette pulled her eyebrows, giving her brother a look.

‘’I’m kidding.’’ Jens scooted over, tapping the space next to him. ‘’Get in. We can watch a movie before I have to get ready.’’

Lotte looked at Jens with the biggest grin on her face. “Can we watch the new Dr. Dolittle?”

Discontentment and annoyance flashed across Jens’ face. Animal movies were not his thing. Cats & Dogs, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Marmaduke; he couldn't stand those. As a kid, he was always more into super heroes like Spiderman or Batman. He would watch those for hours on repeat - and had managed to learn all the lines.

The pout on Lotte’s face made him cave and reach for his laptop, about to look for that damn Dr. Dolittle movie.

.

''Birthday boy is here!'' Moyo called cheerfully, phone in hand, filming as Jens made his entrance into the flatshare. He hooked an arm around Jens' shoulder, pulling him in a bro hug. ‘’How does it feel to be seventeen?’’

Jens rolled his eyes at Moyo’s question. ‘’I don’t know. It’s not my birthday, yet…’’ he pointed out, laughing.

Aaron stepped in next, pushing a beer into Jens' hands. They had stronger stuff in the kitchen, but Aaron figured he could start with a beer. It was only 9pm, too early to get drunk. Unless you want to spend your evening sleeping in a corner or with your head in the toilet.

This party was a last minute idea. The initial plan was to go to a bar, but they were all too broke to go out - perks of being a teenager. Neither of the boys could host either, their parents all home this weekend. Except Robbe, who was at the flatshare. But, the place was already taken by Milan’s own birthday party. Having heard their dilema, Milan kindly offered to share his party and celebrate Jens’ birthday too. After all, birthday siblings gotta stick together.

Jens accepted the beer and took a long swig. ‘’Let’s get this party started!’’

Moyo and Aaron cheered on each of his sides, pulling their friend through the mass of people in the living room where they found Robbe - attached to Sander's neck, dancing.

The small boy detached himself from Sander when he spotted Jens, wishing his best friend a happy birthday. Sander did the same, exchanging a quick hug in greetings before pulling Robbe back to him, kissing his cheek.

In true Milan fashion, the apartment was decorated to the max. There was paper streamers taped all over the walls and ceilings along with balloons and even a huge banner on the living room’s wall. A pink fringed curtain separated the kitchen from the rest, as if to let everyone know where the good stuff was.

Jana quickly found Jens, stumbling and holding onto his shoulder for stability. ‘’Happy birthday,’’ she said to him, throwing her arms around his neck and spilling some wine on the floor. Thank god it was white wine.

.

Sunday, January 19th

Jens was a bit hungover when he woke up.

Who was he trying to fool? He was totally hungover. All the alcohol he had downed and mixed felt heavy in his stomach, threatening to come back up. His head was pounding and his back was aching due to sleeping on Milan’s couch.

Over all, he felt like...death.

Jens grunted in displeasure, trying to roll over and grab his phone on the floor - unplugged. If his head didn't hurt this much, he would’ve laughed at his failed attempt to plug his phone, the charger laying a few centimeters from his phone with no phone attached. Good job, Drunk-Jens…

He unlocked the screen and saw a message from his mom, asking what time he was planning to come home - followed by a quick ‘happy birthday’.

Sighing, Jens turned it off and stood, feeling the room spin for a few seconds, probably still a little bit drunk. Steadying himself, he walked past Aaron’s sleeping bag and almost tripped on Moyo’s makeshift bed on the floor. Can’t this boy clean up after himself? Or, was Jens too clumsy?

He heard Zoe and Milan talking, quickly followed by the sound of Moyo and Sander laughing. Jens followed the voices, coming from the kitchen, hood covering his messy hair.

''And he's up!'' Moyo commented as he made his entrance, interrupting the current conversation.

''How's the birthday boy feeling this morning?'' Milan teased, sensing his hangover.

Aaron and Moyo snickered and Jens flipped them off. ''Like I got rolled over by a fucking truck,'' he answered honestly, voice croaky from the lack of hydration.

Last night, Jana had made him chug wine while they danced, and the boys vodka. Seventeen shots for his seventeenth birthday. What a great idea.

Sander was sitting on the kitchen counter - lacking seats -, sipping coffee with Zoe. It was unlike him to wake up before Robbe - or be anywhere without him -, but someone had to make decent coffee.

‘’Want some?’’ Zoe kindly offered.

Jens nodded and she poured him a cup. Hopefully it'll wake him up and ease his hangover - or make it disappear altogether.

‘’Want some vodka in your coffee?’’ Sander asked with a smirk.

Jens made a grimace, stomach churning. ‘’Don’t mention the devil.’’

Sander laughed and got down from the counter, asking if anyone wanted breakfast. Zoe offered to help, knowing no one else could cook in this household.

They took everyone’s orders, settling on eggs and pancakes. Usually, Jens would be down for some good homemade breakfast, but there was no way he could stomach food right now. Just the smell of it made his stomach turn.

Head on the kitchen table, the birthday boy listened as Moyo shared his retelling of last night's escapades. Since his failed attempt with Noor, his pride was a bit wounded and he had taken Aaron's spot as the desperate one of the gang. He ranted about this cute blonde with a plunging top, putting emphasis on how close he was to kissing her, but skipped the part where she slapped him. Too bad for him, Jens happened to have caught the scene when coming out of the bathroom.

And while they all agreed Aaron was the worst in the flirting department... Moyo wasn't much better.

As they were talking, Jens felt like his head was about to explode, how was he supposed to go home like this later? He doubted his hangover would go unnoticed by his parents. Especially his mom. It’s like she has a sixth sense or something.

Just as Zoe and Sander deposited the food on the table, a sleepy eyed Robbe walked into the kitchen, hair messy and sticking up here and there. He wasn't even wearing pants, just an oversized tee shirt, covering just enough.

“Do I smell pancakes?” he asked.

Sander snorted, unimpressed. ‘’Of course, that’s what gets you out of bed.” Robbe smiled lazily and went to sit on Sander’s lap, already missing his boyfriend’s touch. “Now I know what gets you up in the morning!”

Robbe pressed his forehead against Sanders, mumbling quietly. “I can tell you of a few other things that get me up in the morning”

“Hey, we are eating here, man,” Moyo groaned, tearing his eyes away from the couple and scrunching his face.

“Well, at least you don’t have to live with them 24/7” Milan lamented.

Zoe agreed, scooping a pancake onto a plate and taking it to the counter to eat. The kitchen was a tad bit small for all these people, but they made it work.

‘’You’re not eating?’’ the blonde asked Jens, eyebrows raised, but the boy shook his head. ‘’It might not sound like it, but eating could make you feel better. Alcohol causes low blood sugar. Eating breakfast actually helps get your sugar levels up while the alcohol comes out of your system.’’

‘’I’m good.

Jens felt his phone buzz in his hand. He lifted his head and Looked at the screen, seeing an Instagram notification.

vanderheijden.lucas sent you a message.

Jens opened his phone and stared at a flashing ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ gif.

vanderheijden.lucas I hope you had a great birthday. Sorry I couldn’t be there, but I’ll definitely see you next Friday

.

Monday, January 20th

Jens felt a lot better on Monday. The content of his stomach was no longer threatening to come up and the elephant sitting on his head was gone.

He had vomited his guts in the bathroom when coming home yesterday and had to make up a lie about eating something bad at Robbe's and upsetting his stomach. His knew his lie was mediocre and his mom probably saw through it, but didn't say a thing. He was a teenager and it was his birthday, he's allowed to have fun once in a while.

He was on his way to meet the boys for lunch when someone walked past him and bumped into him on the staircase.

''Sorry, I should watch where I’m going.’’

Caught off guard, Jens forced a smile, turning more genuine when seeing Lucas. His curly fringe was perfectly swept on the side and the color of his jacket matching his blue eyes.

“It’s cool. How was your weekend?'' Jens said, trying to stay smooth and chill.

He didn't know why, but Lucas's presence had the tendency to destabilize his confidence a bit.

Lucas shrugged. “It was good. I hadn't gone home since my dad and I moved here two weeks ago. It felt good to spend some time with my mom and see my friends. I really miss it sometimes...but then I run into you and it doesn’t seem so bad.”

He smirked and Jens' didn't know how to react. His stomach dropped, surprised, but not shocked. Was Lucas flirting with him again?

''I saw your stories, it seemed like you had a lot of fun at your party?''

“Yeah, it was great, but I got a wicked hangover that I’m still getting over.''

''Have sex.''

''Excuse me?''

''Sex is an excellent cure for hangover.''

Jens raised an eyebrow. ‘’Does it?’’ He paused, raising his gaze to meet Lucas’, clear blue irises looking right into his. ’’I’m gonna need a partner for that, though...’’

The brunet cocked an eyebrow, still holding Jens' stare, reading through the heavy subtext. They had entered a new level of flirting and neither were mad about it.

Lucas licked his lips slowly, making something in Jens' stomach flipped over at the gesture, and the Netherland boy took a step closer towards him, nearly closing all the space between them. Lucas opened his mouth, but before he could say - or do - anything, someone called Lucas’ name.

''Luc! Come on, man, we’re going to be late.''

''I gotta go. See you later, Jens,’’ Lucas said, readjusting the bag on his shoulder and winking before leaving.

.

Tuesday, January 21st

A knock on Jens' door woke him from his slumber. His first thought was that it was his sister joining him for the night, but Lotte never knocked. Jens frowned. Slipping out from his covers, the teenager walked to the door, eyes barely open, still half-asleep.

The hallway light caused Jens to squint his eyes and hiss. He rubbed them with his palms, adjusting to the light. ''Mom?''

She was in her bathrobe, hair down from her usual bun, slightly messy due to her pillow. ''Sorry to wake you, honey,'' Fenna apologized in a hushed voice, cautious to not wake her sleeping daughter next door.

It was very unusual for his mom to wake him in the middle of the night - unless something was going on. Did she get an emergency call from work? Jens hadn't heard his father come home, did he get into an accident? His frown deepened, getting worried.

''What is it, Mom?''

Fenna sighed and looked down, the bags under her eyes appearing more prominent. ''Your dad is drunk. Can you help me take him to bed?'' He could sense the shame in her voice from having to ask her son for help with his drunk father.

Jens nodded, mentally shaking his head in disappointment.

He followed his mom down and walked into the living room, taking in the state of his inebriated father, passed out on the loveseat, shoes still on and jacket half off. Jens felt a burst of resentment towards his dad in that moment. How could he drink so much that his own son was having to drag him to his room so his little sister wouldn’t see her dad this way? How could he do that to his wife too? Doesn’t she work hard enough at the hospital? She doesn’t need to come home and have to deal with her drunk husband.

''I tried to get him to move, but he's being stubborn and-'' Fenna started to explain, a yawn interrupting her.

It was the first time it happened and Jens hoped it was the last - for his dad's own good. Coming home late and picking fights with his mom was one thing, coming home drunk was another.

''Go back to bed, Mom. I'll take care of this,'' Jens said, taking in the state his dad was in. He reeked of beer and whiskey.

Fenna refused. ''No. It shouldn't be your job to take care of your dad.''

‘’He’s just a dead weight. I'll manage.''

Her eyes shifted between her son and husband, feeling guilty for making Jens take care of Mohamed. He was a kid, it wasn’t his responsibility. But, she had already tried to get him upstairs and didn't succeed. All she did was get one half of his jacket off.

With one last look at her son, Fenna gave in. ''Alright. I'll go get his side of the bed ready. Just bring him upstairs, okay?''

Jens nodded and watched as his mom returned to the second floor, leaving him to deal with his dad. The teenager sighed, dreading the work to come.

''Dad?''

The man grumbled, half responsive. Jens didn't lose time trying to understand whatever he was trying to say and threw his dad's arm over his neck, getting him to sit up just enough to remove his jacket. Like he said, he was a dead weight which made the task a bit difficult.

''Can you stand?'' Jens asked, trying to not let his irritation show.

He helped his old man up, slinging one of his arms behind his neck and keeping one hand behind his dad's back as support. Mohamed felt heavy on Jens.

Mohamed mumbled something that Jens couldn’t understand.

“What did you say?”

“ I said, your mom hates me.” His voice was rough and slurred.

Jens sighed. “She doesn’t hate you, but you need to start doing better. She can’t keep working these double shifts all the time, and you can’t be coming home drunk like that. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to Lotte or me either. I shouldn't have to do this, Dad.” He wasn't trying to guilt-trip his dad, just talk some sense into him.

There was a long silence before Mohamed responded. “I’m trying, okay? But nobody wants to hire a 40 year old with minimal training.'' He scoffed before going into a coughing fit. ''Anyway, why am I even telling you this? You're just a teenager that has no idea what it means to support a family.”

Jens tried to not let his dad's words get to him. While he wasn’t a parent, he had been kind of forced to take over his dad’s responsibilities and play the head of the house for his family recently.

After a difficult struggle, Jens finally got his dad to his room and safely into bed. He wasn't so drunk he'd have to be watched over, but Jens took all the precautions - just in case. He put a pillow behind him so he'd stay on his side during the night and set a glass of water on the nightstand, right by his phone.

Jens gave Mohamed one last glance, his eyes darting to his sleeping mother. He wished that things could be different for her, that she didn’t have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was a good mom and Jens knew she would do whatever it took to take care of her family, but he couldn't let her put her health in jeopardy.

With a heavy sigh, Jens quietly closed the door and returned to his own bed.

.

Thursday, January 23rd

''Hi,'' Amber said, interrupting Jens and Aaron's conversation, leaning in to kiss her boyfriend, lingering a bit too long - and with too much tongue - to be appropriate for school grounds. At least, in the middle of the main hall.

Jens rolled his eyes, tearing them away from the unwanted tongue battle in front of him. Seeing his annoyance, Jana saw this as an opening and smiled before going in for a kiss. Unlike Aaron, Jens dodged her lips and pulled out his phone, checking if he had any new messages.

He had seen her coming - of course he did -, but something inside him didn't want to kiss her. Especially when he was starting to feel something for a certain blue eyed boy.

Kissing at parties - or at home - was for fun, but kissing at school felt a bit too official for Jens' liking. No one kissed their Saturday hook up in the hallway between classes. He didn't want to give Jana the wrong idea and then hurt her feelings.

The brunette frowned, confused and hurt.

Jens could feel her sulking, but he didn’t say a thing, acting as if he wasn’t aware of what he did. Sometimes, playing dumb got you out of trouble.

Sulking, Jana pulled at her friend's arm, forcing their kiss to end. ''Amber.''

‘’What?’’ the blonde said, turning to Jana. ‘’Oh! Right. Change of plans. My parents are away this weekend so I’m celebrating my birthday a bit early. You’ll come?’’

‘’Sure babe, we’ll be there, right Jens?’’ Aaron nudged him, forcing the raven haired one to look up from his phone.

Jens faked a smile. ‘’Sure.’’

.

Jens pressed the doorbell and waited.

He had texted Moyo's guy earlier today and had been given an address to meet at. At first, the guy was skeptical, but Jens mentioned Moyo and everything was chill.

Dogs started barking at the doorbell noise and Jens' back straightened. A man told them to shut up - which they did -, and someone popped their head out, keeping the door mostly shut. He had a buzz cut, clean cut beard and the tattoo on his neck gave Jens the chills.

Seeing a new face, the man glanced up and down at Jens and raised an expectant eyebrow, asking what he wanted.

''Erm, I've been given this address. I'm here to see...Michiel.''

If he had told Moyo the truth, he wouldn’t have given Jens his dealer’s number. While his intentions were good, dealing drugs - even just weed - was very unsafe. The risks of getting caught and consequences were higher than just smoking it. But, all Jens saw was a way to make a quick buck and help his family.

The guy disappeared inside for a few seconds, probably talking to his boss, and came back to let Jens inside.

Unlike the previous guy, this one was much shorter, but non the less intimidating. He had a thick gold chain around his neck and a scar above his eyebrow. ‘’You asked for me?’’

‘’I…’’

Jens felt like an idiot. He had always been a pretty confident person, but Michiel’s presence made him nervous - with good reason. Drug dealers weren’t the kind of people you want to mess with.

‘’If you want to buy, see one of my guys, Kid. I just make the big deals.’’ Michiel was around to turn his back and leave, but Jens spoke up.

‘’Actually, that’s what I’m here for. A friend referred me to you, saying you might have something for me. A job.’’

Michiel glanced at Jens up and down, just like the previous guy, and scoffed. ''I already have my guys.''

Under his grey hoodie, smooth skin and dangly earring, Jens was too clean for Michiel’s taste. He could never pass as a pusher, he looked too young.

Seeing through his thoughts, Jens took another approach.

''Look at me. No one will suspect it. I...I can cover at school? Or even the skatepark? People there are always looking for weed. I’m sure I could bring you good cash.’’

The man hesitated still. Teenagers weren't the most trustworthy pushers. Most would either use all the drug and run off. But, something was different about Jens. He had this insistence and self-motivation that got Michiel’s attention.

‘’I need fast cash. Give me a chance. I...I really need it,'' Jens almost begged. He tried to cover his emotions, not wanting to sound too desperate even though, in his head, he was on his knees. He needed this job really bad.

Michiel’s silence got Jens scared he had blown his shot. ‘’You do have a pretty face,’’ he pointed out. ‘’Make sure I don't have to ruin it, okay?''

Jens nodded rapidly.

‘’You’re on trial. I’ll give you a couple grams and I need them sold as fast as possible. Give me a shout when you’re done.’’ Michiel paused. ‘’Don’t disappoint me, Kid.’’

.

Friday, January 24th

The bag of weed in his backpack felt heavy. Cert, there was more grams than Jens usually took to parties, but weed doesn’t weight much. It was more the pressure of having to sell it that made it heavy.

Being a smoker of green for over two years, it was his first time actually selling weed. He had sold some to guys at the skatepark, a gram or two, but he was never a pusher, as they called them. The term sounded dirty and wrong in his head. Jens knew it was something he shouldn’t be doing, but his parents needed money.

Robbe giggled at something Sander said, already a bit tipsy from the beers they drank at his place. He had hosted a pre-game, the first one since he moved back with his mom, and he didn’t slow down on the beers. At his boyfriend's behavior, Sander had kept it low with the alcohol, knowing he’ll be the one to carry Robbe home later and couldn’t do that if he was too intoxicated.

For the first time, Aaron hadn’t been present at the pre-game. Being the boyfriend of the birthday girl, he was already at the party, helping Amber and the girls with the decorations and all that.

Moyo pressed the doorbell, waiting for someone to open. They could hear the shitty pop music Amber loved from the doorstep. Sander grimaced at the music choice, Amber’s music taste being added to the list of things he didn’t like about her.

‘’I’m gonna....go see Kobe,’’ Jens announced, seeing him by the window with a couple guys from the skatepark. ‘’I’ll be right back.’’

Jens and Kobe weren’t friends. He had sold him weed once and shared a blunt behind some bushes at the skatepark one afternoon. What Jens knew was that the guy was always looking to buy weed, having no regular dealer, aka easy cash for Jens.

Moyo nodded, heading to the kitchen to look for Aaron with Robbe and Sander following behind, holding hands and walking close.

‘’ ‘Sup, man,’’ Kobe said as Jens approached them.

‘’Good, good,’’ Jens responded, responding to the brunet’s fist exchange.

‘’Long time no see.’’

‘’Yeah… Eh, I might have something for you.’’ Jens raised his eyebrows and motionned for Kobe to follow him.

Kobe nodded, a knowing smile on his lips, getting what Jens meant. He told his friends he was going with Jens for a few minutes, having something he wanted to tell him in private.

Jens almost snorted at Kobe’s lack of subtlety. This guy was worse than Aaron - if possible.

.

Half of his stock sold, thanks to Kobe and the guys they ran into on Amber’s balcony. Turned out selling weed wasn’t as difficult as Jens had initially thought. Being at a party was helping his sales, but it was relatively easy. People bought by chunks of two or three grams with promises of buying more next time Jens had some, not having a lot of cash on them.

Fiddling with the doors, Jens found himself in the bathroom, trying to hide from the outside world that sometimes got a bit too overwhelming. It’s not that he didn't like to party, he just hadn't been in the mood lately. There was a lot on his mind and, sometimes, he just couldn’t escape it.

‘’Hiding from someone?’’

The voice startled Jens, but when he saw who it was he just shrugged. ‘’I don’t feel like partying tonight, is all.’’

Lucas hummed. ‘’Mind if I join?’’ He reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out a slightly cooked joint. ‘’I have weed. Straight from Netherlands.’’

Who was Jens to refuse free weed. He shifted in the tub, making room for Lucas.

‘’I’ve been wanting to ask: why did you move here? I know your parents got divorce, but isn’t changing countries is a bit extreme?’’ He passed the joint to Lucas, head leaned back against the tiled wall, starting to feel the buzz.

Lucas smiled at the ceiling. ‘’Try telling my father that. If you ask me, he tried to take me away from my mom; if you ask him, he got a job offer he couldn’t refuse.’’ He took a drag and exhaled the smoke through his nose. ‘’I didn’t want to go, but according to the judge, he’s the one who can offer me a ‘better life’. So I had to go with him.’’

‘’Why would he take you away from your mom? Is she ill or something.’’

‘’Or something,’’ Lucas confirmed, not comfortable talking about this part of his life yet. He handed Jens the joint again.

‘’Left a girl at home?’’

Lucas snorted. ‘’A girl? Who said I’m into girls?’’

Jens shrugged, not knowing what to answer.

Lucas never explicitly said who he was attracted to, why did Jens assume that he was straight? By default, maybe? Despite all the progress the LGBTQ+ community is making in society, history had a way of bleeding into our subconscious. So, unless someone showed a ‘behavior that defied the default’, they were classified as straight.

‘’I tried girls, but it wasn’t for me,’’ Lucas started. He shook his head, thinking back at his mistake. ‘’They’re pretty, but it wasn’t doing it for me, you know?’’

Jens nodded. A part of him understood what Lucas meant, but another didn’t. Unlike Lucas, Jens liked girls. Their long hair, sweet perfume, smooth skin - and boobs. But, more recently, he found himself looking at boys - one, in particular.

‘’I was in love with a boy - my best friend,’’ Lucas continued. ‘’He had a girlfriend, who was also my friend, and I fucked it all up.’’

‘’Your chances with him?’’ Jens tried.

‘’No. That was pretty much dead from the start,’’ Lucas explained with a chuckle. ‘’Our friendship, their relationship.’’

‘’So, you’re a homewrecker?’’

Lucas gasped, kicking Jens’ leg playfully. Jens gave him a small grin.

‘’Hey what happened to sharing? You’re hogging the weed,’’ Jens pointed out, mildly annoyed.

''Come and get it,'' Lucas teased, pulling the joint at arm's length, away from Jens's reach. There was a challenging tone in his voice, almost daring Jens to come closer.

A bit too intoxicated - and high - to think properly, Jens leaned over, hovering over Lucas as he tried to get a hold of the joint. Lucas laughed, moving the lit joint every time Jens was close to take it. Jens was getting frustrated, his reflexes slower than usual because of the marijuana.

Jens started laughed too, having difficulty holding himself up in the small tub. ''Stop it.''

Lucas continued his little game, their laughter caused Jens to lose balance and slip. Thankfully, he was able to grab at the tub's edge, preventing himself from crushing Lucas under - or cracking his skull.

''Sorry,'' Jens apologized.

He was about to raise himself back up, but stopped when he realized how dangerously close they were to each other, faces only a few inches apart. Jens's body stilled, breath catching in his throat as his heart rate started to pick up behind his chest. His dark eyes easily found Lucas's blue ones and Lucas stopped laughing. He stared back at Jens, taking in his sharp cheekbones and plump lips.

Jens made the first move, eyelids slowly fluttering shut as he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips on Lucas.

Undoubtedly, when Jens came to this party, he didn't have the intention of kissing Lucas in Amber's bathtub. But, one thing led to another and here he was, sitting back in the tub and kissing the new kid.

Sparks didn't fly when their lips touched, which was a bit disappointing. Or, maybe it did? The weed was confusing his senses.

Kissing a boy wasn't that much different than kissing girls, in the end. It was the same mechanics; lips on lips - and sometimes tongue. Lucas' lips were very soft for a boy. They tasted like weed and beer too, which Jens didn't mind. It was a nice change from the usual sweet and sticky feeling of glosses and lipsticks or whatever girls put on their lips.

A breathy moan left Lucas' lips as one of Jens' hands came up to cup his jaw, holding him in place as his tongue grazed over Lucas' mouth, teeth closing on his bottom lip and pulling. Jens' senses were buzzing and his mind was too far behind to function.

Lucas' free hand snaked behind Jens' neck, grasping at his thick, dark hair, giving it a slight tug, the single earring dangling as they kissed. Jens breathed a moan into the kiss at the feeling and Lucas smirked, content with himself, before doing it again.

Fuck. How did he get here?

Jens broke the kiss, needing to catch his breath and the brunet took advantage of the taller one's neck being exposed to trail his lips up and down the tanned skin. It will most likely leave marks behind, but Jens couldn’t be bothered to care. At the moment, it felt really good.

Jens cradled Lucas’ face in his hands, guiding him back up and brought their lips together again. This time, the kiss was softer and slower, savoring the feeling of those beautiful pouty lips he had wished to kiss for weeks.

[ashleyfanfic]

Do you have any Jonerys nsfw fic recs? I need some smut in my life any kind extra points if it starts with Jon masturbating and turns into a hot session with his queen. 😏

Oh, Anon - this could take a while. Buckle up, this is gonna be a bumpy, but pleasurable, ride! I’ve divided this up from Modern AU and Canon/Canon Divergent. I know there are more than one entry for most of these authors, but what can I say? When I find an author I like, I usually consume everything they write.  CANON/CANON DIVERGENT Up Against the Wall - by @meisiesmut   A shameless love story told with a backdrop of war, politics, past trauma, heroes and villains, dragons and duty. Goes from Dragonstone, to Kings Landing, to the North, and eventually back again. Falling in love amidst the War for the Dawn, as told by Daenerys Targaryen. The explicit rating is no lie. Damsel In Distress by @meisiesmut   There is very little that is weak and defenseless about the Mother of Dragons, but sometimes it’s fun to pretend. In which Daenerys blows off some steam from the pressures of ruling, and her husband grudgingly indulges her, until the wolf comes out to play. Roleplay smut, trigger warning for dubious consent. Ozymandian - by @frostbitepandaaaaa​  She should have been more prudent, instead of falling into him like a spell. She should have handled this thing like the fatal tangle of thorns it was, instead of drinking the air from his lungs like the sweetest Arbor gold. She should have picked it up about the edges, holding it at arm’s length until she could find a safe enough place to rest it upon the earth and walk away forever. On Fire’s Gentle Shore - by @justwandering-neverlost​   This one shot is post season 8. Dany and Jon are ruling Westeros and escort Missandei back to her home in Naath. How We Heal - by @justwandering-neverlost​  What was intended to be some love-filled Jonerys drabbles, but has turned into a full-blown S8 canon adventure complete with romance, dragons, drama, angst, politics, prophecies, and the Battle for the Dawn. Fluff, smut, and all the feels still included. Go South, Get Warm - by @lawonderlandwriter​  An alternate route to Winterfell! After being resurrected, Jon Snow leaves for Oldtown to stay with the only person he can trust - Samwell Tarly. But after he receives a raven from his sister Sansa requesting help to take back their family home from the Boltons, Jon goes on a mission collecting allies in the South - the Tyrells of Highgarden, the Sand Snakes of Dorne, the portion of the ironborn fleet commanded by Yara Greyjoy...and of course, the queen across the sea, Daenerys Targaryen. Jon and Daenerys build a quick rapport and she soon makes him the Lord Commander of her armies. Together they face the Lannister, the Boltons, Euron Greyjoy...and finally, the Night King. Note: Main relationship of this fic is Jonerys and Dany comes into the story at chapter 8. A Wolf In The Sand - by @notpmahlem​  I did what I thought was right. And I got murdered for it. He died. He was resurrected. Coping with that betrayal, additional information upends him again and sends him to the last place anyone would expect him to go. In search of Dragons. The Burnt World - by @xxthewolvenstormxx​ Its been over two decades since the Mad King burnt the world.Now Daenerys has finally returned home to right the wrongs of her father. But once again a mad ruler threatens to burn the world anew.Up North, Jon Snow is racing against time to defeat a swarm of undead that threatens to kill all that remains. The Painted Table - by @muttpeeta​  Daenerys summons Jon to the Chamber of the Painted Table the night before his journey beyond the Wall to give him a proper farewell. Slight canon divergence. Held Captive - by @fierypen37​ - Upon landing in Westeros, Daenerys makes a pact with the King in the North, with interesting results. Or, in which Robb lives as King in the North and Jon is given to Daenerys as a hostage of war. Can I Be Your Prisoner? - by @tomakeitbeautifultolive​  Following their first tense meeting on Dragonstone, Jon is left stimulated in more ways than one when he asks the dragon queen whether or not he's her prisoner. After Daenerys clarifies by answering "Not yet", three dreaded words slip from his lips, to his horror—"Can I be?"

MODERN AU/AU You Heard Me. Take. It. Off. - by @meisiesmut  Jon and Daenerys are young professors at a spooky gothic pile of a university with a unique relationship. BDSM episodes in a modern setting, a somewhat dark and twisted little romance. Likely the only Modern AU I will ever attempt, enjoy the kink. The Pirate Queen - by @meisiesmut   In which Lord Commander Snow meets The Pirate Queen and her crew of cutthroats, much to his annoyance and later delight. AU, 18th Century Caribbean setting, pirates, scenery, bad jokes, canon winks, Jon in a pretty uniform (and eventually a dashing pirate outfit), and shameless smut. I got nothing else, enjoy. Lord Snow and the Madam - by @meisiesmut   Madam Daenerys runs the finest gentleman’s establishment in Mayfair, and knowing men and all their ways, has little time for the pleasures and distractions of an alluring stranger. But a persistent, mysterious visitor to her brothel may just change her mind. Alternative universe, Edwardian London setting, luscious smut, splendidly handsome mustache bean. Quality Assurance - by @muttpeeta​   AU where Dany and Jon are CEOs of competing sex toy companies and meet at a convention. Love In Leather - by @muttpeeta​  Before they dock at White Harbor and leave the safety of their ship, Daenerys wants to make Jon's wildest fantasies come true. Thumbprint Scar - by @frostbitepandaaaaa​   For so long, she had only dreamed about getting away, never of what that place might be. It wasn't until it had started to become a reality, to solidify under her hands, that she started to paint details into the visions of her sanctuary in earnest. Between the Raindrops - by @notpmahlem​   In modern Westeros, Daenerys Targaryen and her foreign army are joined by Jon Snow and the North to unseat Cersei Lannister. Written In the Scars of His Heart - by @notpmahlem​ and @jalenmara​  Daenerys Targaryen, supermodel and face of House Targaryen, a rising star in the world of Fashion, is commonly known as the most beautiful woman in the world. And someone wants her dead. Jon Snow, running from the ghosts of his own past, lands the job any man would kill for— protecting her. But can he protect his own heart from her? Mustache Rides - by @xxthewolvenstormxx​  Jon's sporting a new look and there's really only one thing Dany can do. A PROUD Contribution to the #RideJonsFace2019 and #Twenty69teen campaigns. Let's have Dany rub that mustache off. Vim and Vigor - by @xxthewolvenstormxx​  Seven smutty scenes to ring in the New Year. Jon and Daenerys are a Young Couple living their best life. The Oasis - by @fierypen37​  With uptight and stressed CEO Daenerys Targaryen's regular masseur on leave, she has to make do with the replacement Jon Snow. Relaxation is not something she can find with his hands on her. Too bad he doesn't feel the same. Except unbeknownst to her, he definitely does. When a threat on her life pushes them together, they must both learn to deal with their growing feelings. Sinfully Yours - by @adecila​   Jon Snow finds himself being summoned by a beautiful but dangerous woman. Daenerys Targaryen is a demon hunter looking for a precious treasure. He is a demon with a particular set of principles. However, he also has a dick; and he hasn't used it since way before he died. Instinct by @lawonderlandwriter​   "She heard a twig snap behind her and spun around, heart beating quick as a hummingbird’s wings inside her chest. A lone figure emerged from behind a tree, watching her; she should have known. HIM. The dark-featured male that had wandered into the area a few days ago. She sighed, somewhat in relief that it wasn't something else, but eyed him warily all the same. Sometimes newcomers were harmless. Other times they were not..." Can I Keep You - by @lawonderlandwriter​  "...She patted at her chest over her heart, pointed off in the distance, touched her hair yet again, and then pointed to a nearby dandelion with its wispy white seeds swaying gently in the breeze. Suddenly he thought he understood, at least the last part of it. Hair. White hair." Sequel to Instinct! Begins a little bit before Jon and Dany meet. Now You See Me - by @daenerys1417​  Dany has just moved into a new apartment which happens to have a crack in the shared wall between her and her next-door neighbor, Jon Snow. One night, she gets more than she bargained for when she decides to take a peek.

[ruegracieuse]

hiya do you have any recommendations for books about living in europe like travelogues/memoirs or even fictional accounts?? love your blog!

I’d love to! The first book I think of, of course, is Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast. Even if you don’t like the way he writes fiction, I would recommend this one because it’s much more sensuous than his usual writing style and, in my opinion, much more enjoyable (much as I love For Whom the Bell Tolls). It’s a really strong evocation of Paris in the 1920s, the poverty and the glamour and the drive to live for art. For something similar to this, I might also recommend Henry Miller’s Quiet Nights in Clichy. Now, I’ve actually only just started reading this myself so I can’t vouch for the whole book, but what I’ve read so far seems to be true to his style, which I find bewitching (somewhat in spite of myself) and definitely worth looking into if you’re especially interested in the lost generation and want to go beyond the usual stories of Hemingway and Fitzgerald. The first book with this subject matter I remember reading, years and years ago now, is A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle - a beautiful summer read if you happen to be in the Northern Hemisphere at the moment! As for travelogues, the first thing I think of is Paul Theroux’s Ghost Train to the Eastern Star and his earlier The Great Railway Bazaar. They don’t stick exclusively to Europe: they account journeys from London to Japan and back again via the Orient Express and the Trans-Siberian Railway, but you get some really lovely and interesting descriptions of Eastern Europeans before and just after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Eastern and Central Europe tend to get overlooked in romanticised anglophone descriptions of the continent which I think is a huge shame. It’s an area so rich in history and culture. So in that vein, definitely also check out The Hotel Years: Wanderings in Europe Between the Wars, which is a collection of travel articles, reviews, and musings by Joseph Roth, a travel writer and journalist in the 20s and 30s. If you’re interested in interwar politics, the golden age of hotels, the decline of the grand Europe into war and wistfulness, this book is for you! I read it last year and think about it at least once a week to this day. I absolutely loved it. Also, diaries and letters of writers you love have often been published and give some insight into life in these countries! I absolutely adore Anaïs Nin’s diaries, for example, and her correspondence with Henry Miller. Journey From Venice by Ruth Cracknell is brutally sad but beautiful, and for a more cheerful description of living in Italy try The Enchanted April by Elizabeth von Arnim or A Room with a View by E M Forster. Oh, and Midnight in Sicily by Peter Robb, for a beautiful, sensuous history of Sicily told through the island’s two major cultural exports (the mafia and food). Biographies and writings of your favourite famous people at times and places in Europe that interest you may be the go, too, as will some history books. I’m currently reading The Lure of the Sea by Alain Corbin, which is a history book accounting the changing attitudes of Europeans towards the sea and the seaside in the late 18th and early 20th century, which is giving me a wonderful impression of life at this time. And also, without preamble because this is turning into an essay: Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell, some of the personal writings of Walter Benjamin, and the biographical works of Ryszard Kapuścińsi (which I haven’t actually read but which my friend, whose judgement I trust, has highly recommended to me).

I hope this gives you something to sink your teeth into! Sorry if these tend to have a French/Parisian bias - it’s pretty obvious that this is where my major interests lie! xx