#but i flee the conversations most of the time cause it's too stupid imo

[nathanprscott]

God, every time there is something about trans people on TV my mum expects me to watch it with her but doesn’t outright say so; it makes me uncomfortable to watch them with her, so i generally don’t come down to watch. However when I do it becomes a huge argument. She mainly wants me to listen to the side of the parents and partners, which I get but I also think it’s unnecessary because her side is the only one that counts to me and she’s always been vocal about the pain my transition has caused her. And I told her that, along with a line aout how unhappy I am with *my* changes when the guy on TV had his first injection. She knows how much I hate my voice but she doesn’t get it. Her response is always the same “It’s changed a lot and I sound different”, which is true from her perspective - she knew how it was before. But new people? The children at work? Every single one gets confused. I literally had to verify my identity on the phone the other day cause the person on the other end didn’t believe it was a male person on the phone - which is all good and fair they did that, but it’s furstrating. Last week, I asked a child when he would finally refer to me as a boy and he answered “he knows i’m a boy but he gets confused a lot” (which is also fair). But when I bring these things up she doesn’t get “why I care what other people think” but doesn’t understand that it’s not about that. It’s wanting to pass (& not having to try hard, preferably) - it’s about perception not active thought. I know she doesn’t mean it in a bad way... we just fight about stupid things all the time and it’s tiring.