#but i don't like not knowing the exact acute cause . bothers me. makes me feel overwhelmed

[quirkle2]

I see you and i are both having a hard day today (for different reasons) so. Solidarity?

Sending you good vibes

Im just gonna be over here upset cuz my job cutting my hours from full time to only 24 hours a week (I'll be okay, my parents are willing to help and i have options to get more hours elsewhere, im just frustrated and need a good cry over it) so i hope things go better on your end too

OUGH im so sorry that happened to u anon :( i hope everything goes well!! tysm for the good vibes i am sending some ur way as well <3

[thetooclevermartian]

need to get on my a-spec soapbox for a bit

something that's been on my mind and bothering me is the fact that people are, in a way, gatekeeping characters from being headcanoned as aro/ace. most often i see it manifesting as "this character can't be aro/ace/aroace because they did x!" and it really really bothers me because we a-spec people have such little representation, and when we try to find some for ourselves, even through headcanons, that's taken away from us too.

for example, i saw a post about how katniss everdeen can't be aroace because she married peeta and had kids. (no hate to op btw, i'm just explaining why i disagree strongly). but that statement negates several things. 1) sexual and romantic attraction are spectrums. meaning that some people are going to be on them and still experience sexual and romantic attraction to a degree. they're still a-spec. personally, i headcanon katniss as demiromantic demisexual, meaning she'd need a close emotional bond with someone before she could be attracted to someone in either way. which fits with canon that she is attracted to peeta and also doesn't acknowledge experiencing attraction to anyone else (except maybe platonic attraction with gale but that's another thing). anyway. 2) ATTRACTION IS NOT REQUIRED FOR A RELATIONSHIP. or marriage. or kids. or sex. or kissing. or anything, really. to say katniss can't be a-spec because she does these things erases the experiences of aroaces that do do these things. plus, for younger me, an aroace kid who didn't know he was aroace, seeing a character that wasn't focused on romance at all was important to me. even now, it's still important to me! i'll stand by a-spec katniss because of that!

one that also bothers me, though i see where people are coming from, is kaz brekker and inej ghafa. and though i completely understand not headcanoning them as a-spec, i have seen people shaming the fact that others would interpret them as such. (not to mention i have a-spec headcanons for them both that are supported by canon, but that's a post for another time). in a world where a-spec people have such little representation, why would you try and make us feel bad for looking for it? who does it harm if we headcanon characters as such? i've also seen other people say, "you have tolya and harshaw [other grishaverse characters if you don't know], who are either confirmed or heavily implied, why would you headcanon kaz and inej?" and again, no hate to these people, but have you ever considered that a) i want a wide variety of aro/ace spectrum characters. this includes characters that experience sexual/romantic attraction to some degree, or not at all but still engage in sexual or romantic actions. b) aro and ace people are never the main characters. (and in the case of tolya and harshaw, i'd like there to be more than just two minor characters who are in only 4/9 books combined). because in typical literature and media, main characters have to have romance. they have to have sex, or sexiness, at least. and behind that, they have to have attraction. if they have these things without attraction, they're a slut or a whore or an emotionless robot. c) so often, i am looking for myself in characters, because i know if i don't search, i will almost never explicitly find them.

all this big long stuff to say that i cannot put into words the exact, deep, acute ache i feel when i think about aroace representation and about how little we have. who does it benefit to keep us from finding ourselves and our unique experiences in characters we like? i'm just so exhausted of having my identities' representations stolen from me just because people don't understand what it means to be aromantic or asexual. so for the love of all things, please just let me find happiness in my favorite characters, cause god knows we aren't getting good, varied, common representation anytime soon.

[miss-smutty]

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 4

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter devastation. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Pairing- Chris Hems x Reader x Liam Hems

Word count- 2,211

Warnings- Smut, swearing, angst, cheating

18+ Only!!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 29th June 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings @longlostinanotherworld

>The Destructive Secret Masterlist<

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, silence so acute you could hear a pin drop. Liam waiting for an answer, Chris looking at his feet and you looking visibly anxious. Chris had drank way too much and now he was about to let all of your secrets loose. This isn't the way you want Liam to find out, surely Chris wouldn't be so cruel.

"I suppose you're not gonna tell me who it is?" 

"Not just yet, see how we go." He looked at you, if he so much as even looked slightly smug you would have slapped him right across his face. Instead you could see the hurt in his eyes, tears welling in the corners. You're both faced with an impossible dilemma, Chris wants you all to himself but doesn't want to lose his brother in the process and you want it all over and done with but don't want to hurt Liam. The latter of both is inevitable but you would take all the blame just so Chris didn't have to lose his brother, given the choice you would lose them both just so that didn't happen.

"Well on that note, I need to go to bed. I've gotta be up early in the morning." You avoid Chris' gaze, you're angry with him but you don't want to cause him more pain. 

"Yeah me too. I better get going. Thank you for dinner Y/N, it was lovely."

You risk a short glance at him, you're eyes softening when they meet. The moment broken when Liam speaks, reminding you where you are and who you're with right at this moment in time.

"Are you for real? You're really going to drop a bombshell like that and then leave? Fuck man." Liam runs his hand through his hair, letting air out of his cheeks exasperatedly.

"Sorry bro, I'll save the excitement for another night. I've said too much already." Chris apologises with his eyes as he passes you, his hands twitching by his side's with the need to touch you.

                             ******************

The next morning when you wake, your heart sinks knowing all the turmoil you're going to have to go through just to make it to the hotel without being spotted. All the messing about and hiding you have to do, checking in under a false name at different times. Making sure nobody follows you to the hotel and especially no one follows Chris. Getting caught checking into the same hotel would be dreadful, it wouldn't take a genius for the press to put two and two together, they wouldn't even care if it was true or not as long as they sold copies.

"Right babe, I'm ready to go." You pull your suitcase towards the door, stopping to wrap your arms around Liam.

"Have a good time, I'll see you soon." Wrapping his arms tightly around your waist and lifting your feet from the ground in a squeezy hug. "I'll miss you." 

"I'll miss you too, bye babe." 

"Bye. Love you. Let me know when you get checked in." He kisses you goodbye before watching you leave.

"Will do, Love you." You say over your shoulder, climbing into your silver, Audi convertible.

This is the part you hate the most, the part that made you question whether it was all worth it. It was, of course or you wouldn't be doing it, you wouldn't put yourself through having to pretend to be somebody else and praying your not caught by anyone. It only takes one person to notice you and Chris in the same hotel and it's over. You imagine having an affair is hard work whatever your circumstances but when your boyfriend and your lover are as famous as they are it becomes impossible. It's terrifying. 

You spent the car journey constantly checking your mirrors and making sure you weren't being followed. A huge sunhat and even bigger sunglasses covering your face as your heart beated faster than you thought was possible. A couple of laps around the hotel, making doubly sure you weren't being followed before you finally pulled into the carpark.

You had to constantly think, you couldn't let your guard drop for even a moment and it was exhausting. You were ready for it to be over and done with now, this just isn't fun anymore. Maybe you could run away together and start a new life somewhere else. Which one would you pick though? Who are you ready to give up? Would there even be an option to choose? Would Liam even be willing to forgive you if he knew you were sleeping with his brother? In love with his brother.

Your heart beating out of your chest, your fight or flight well and truly kicking in now as you walk up to the front desk. If there's any recognition in the receptionists eyes you're ready to turn right around and leave. The girl behind the desk, with long blonde hair has her eyes on the computer In front of her, thankfully not paying you much attention as you stand and wait for her to finish.

"Hi I'd like to book a room for two nights please." You stutter nervously, subconsciously checking over your shoulder while you spoke.

"Of course, is it just for yourself?" 

"Yes please, I'm just here for a work conference. I'd like a double bed if possible though, I haven't been able to sleep in a single since I was young." You giggle nervously, embarrassed that you'd told her information she isn't even slightly interested in.

"No problem, I'll see what I have for you." Her eyes barely left her computer as she spoke, she definitely didn't recognise you. The tension in your muscles relaxed a little as your eyes scanned the lobby.

"What name is it please?" She asked, one of the moments you'd been dreading. You hate lying but luckily you'd already come up with the fake name you were using, one you'd already used many times before in the exact same situation. It never gets any easier.

"Jessica Crawley." The names tumbled from your lips, names that had absolutely no meaning to you. 

"Room 101, floor 5. Is there anything else I can help you with?" 

"No thank you, that's great." The overwhelming feeling of relief at completing step one without any problems, rushes over you. Adrenaline spiking, making your legs feel like jelly.

"You're welcome, enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions." The girl says, smiling sweetly at you before going back to her work.

The elevator seemed to take forever to make its way down to you, your feet shuffling as you watched the numbers above the door, counting down. The overwhelming need to get to privacy and away from the many prying eyes of the people in the lobby was severe. Most were business men and women, that were so consumed in themselves they weren't paying special attention to anyone around them. There were also young couples, making their way through the lobby, probably on their way for lunch but the people that worried you the most were the random loners sat in the armchairs scattered around the lobby. They'd chosen the perfect place to watch, some pretending to read newspapers while their eyes discreetly scanned over the top.

They were much more inquisitive, much like yourself they paid more attention to the people around them. People watchers you liked to call them, these are the sorts of people that make you nervous. They see everything, noticing any minor details, you'd spent a lifetime perfecting 'people watching' which is how you knew to be wary. You could pretty much judge a person's personality just by watching them for a couple of minutes. If anyone was to spot you it would be one of these people. You felt thankful you weren't Chris, there is absolutely no way he was going to make it to the elevator without being seen at least once.

                             *******************

Chris didn't feel quite as nervous as you, this was a every day occurance in his life, avoiding paparazzi was near impossible for him. As long as you weren't seen going in to the hotel then it wouldn't matter about him being seen. Still, he'd worn his baseball cap and sunglasses to at least try and hide his identity. He wasn't nervous about being seen but more about having to face you after his fuck up last night. Now that thought was way more intimidating to him.

Casually strolling into the hotel, he tried to ignore the whispers of the people around him. People questioning if it was really him, young girls barely out of high school giggling at the sight of him. Chris quietly prayed that he would make it up to the room without anyone asking for a photo, not that he usually minded but today all he wanted was to spend every possible minute with you as he could.

The receptionist tried to make a fuss when his identity was confirmed during check in. The pale skin of the same blonde girl who'd checked you in, had turned a rather bright shade of red when she heard Chris' sexy Australian accent. You wouldn't blame her, it still makes you swoon whenever you heard him speak.

"I'm fine honestly, I don't want any special treatment. Actually if I could get away with going completely unnoticed during my stay, I will speak to your boss myself and tell them how accomodating you'd been." 

"Oh wow, really? Thank you so much Mr Hemsworth. I will make sure nobody bothers you and if you need anything at all just give me a call, I'll make sure you won't have to leave your room for anything." Chris smiled, pretending not to notice how she seemed to be flirting with him, badly. Tossing her hair over shoulder as she insinuated not so subtly for him to let her know if he wanted any 'special' treatment. Again, you don't blame the girl, infact you would've commended her confidence.

She handed over the keys to the penthouse, watching bright eyed as he walked to the elevator, pulling out his phone as he stepped straight in. 

"Hi babe, I've booked the penthouse suite, meet me up there?" Smiling a tight lipped smile at the girl behind the desk, who was still watching him intently as the elevator doors closed.

"Ok, it isn't very inconspicuous staying in the penthouse is it?" You shouldn't be surprised, he does it everytime. You remember the first time you ever saw a penthouse and how amazed you were that it was actually bigger than your own home at the time. That was a memory you shared with Liam, all of your first times had been with Liam, the thought made your heart sink.

"I mean they knew who I was as soon as I walked in, I think it would look more suspicious if I didn't stay in a suite." Chris answered, pulling you from your thoughts.

"I suppose that's true, I'll be up soon." You could hear the sadness in your voice, something you had to snap out of before meeting Chris.

"Good because I can't wait to get my hands on you." 

Sinking back onto the spongey mattress of your bed, tiredness washing over you already. The mental exhaustion of constantly having to play games and be on your guard at all times, catching up to you as you're finally alone.

Maybe that's what you need afterall, a chance to be alone to gather your thoughts, to workout your own needs and wants without spreading your attention between the two brothers.

You make a mental list of the pros and cons of both of them knowing deep down if Liam were the one for you, you'd have never have looked twice at Chris. They were so similar in a lot of ways but completely different in others.

Liam was the sweetest man you knew, so gentle and caring, attentive to your every whim and being so young when you first got together he was everything you were looking for.

Now being a woman that has gone through so much trauma in her life that had tainted your soul, darkened it with a lust for more.

Then Chris came along, he was still sweet and caring but less attentive to your needs unless it was in the bedroom. He was cheeky and funny, drop dead gorgeous and oozing manliness effortlessly. He was fire and passion. He was more. 

If you let yourself admit it, you wanted excitement, which is how you ended up here in the first place. You didn't want perfect anymore, you wanted a man who could do wrong and then make up for it in the most fulfilling way he knew how. Just thinking about it made your pulse race, Chris had put you through hell last night and now it was time for payback. You imagined Chris only a couple of floors above you, worried about the way you were going to act when you saw him and lord knows how much you're going to make him sweat.                    

[majesticbrownjawn]

I was almost done writing this when I came across this post that’s a perfect for this little jawn.

Drive-Thru

Rated: NSFW 😈

———————————

“Watch where you’re going, babe. You gone fuck my shit up.”

She’d nearly hit a stopped car in the drive thru of Erik’s favorite fast food spot. The line was wrapped around the building.

“Well that’s what you get for making me drive. You know I hate driving,” she pouted.

Erik simply raised a brow at her and pointed to the boot on his foot. He broke it trying to break her fall. He told her it wasn’t a good idea to climb her ass on the counter and stand on it to reach the top shelf of plates. But he still flew to her rescue when he saw her wobbling, not knowing the floor was wet from a glass of water she spilled on her climb up. She regained her balance before she fell but he instead cascaded to the floor with a loud thud. He hobbled on his foot for a week before she made him go to the doctor. That was yesterday.

She felt guilty about it, which is why she was the one driving and not him like always. But she didn’t have any less of an attitude about it than she normally would.

“Cool ya puss, baby...” He gripped up as much of her thigh as he could squeeze. The short, thin, baby doll dress she wore made it easy. “...before I cool it for you.”

She huffed in frustration at him telling her to chill but also because his warm, rough hands had worked her up that quick. They always did, no matter the time or place. Even in the drive thru of Erik’s favorite chicken spot.

“But Eriiiiiiik-,” she whined.

“Hush,” he whispered as he leaned over and nuzzled his face in her neck, attaching his supple lips to her. She soon realized the attention to her neck was merely a distraction when she felt two fingers gently pressing against either side of her clit.

“Fuh-fuck, Erik.” Her fingers dug into his forearm but it did nothing to stop him from making circles up, down and around her sensitive bundle. She let out a silent scream when his thick finger slid between her engorged pussy lips and went inside her.

“That’s what I thought. Shut the fuck up.”

She looked at him with pleading eyes, vigorously nodding her head like the good girl she was.

They were so wrapped up in each other that they missed the car in front of them moving up in the line. A honk from another car momentarily brought them out of the lusty haze they created within the confines of his SUV.

“Think you can pull up with two of my fingers inside you?”

He slid another digit in before she could reply. The surprise and pleasure of his action shot a jolt of pleasure through her body, causing her foot to hit the gas pedal unexpectedly. She had to slam on the brakes to not hit the car in front of them.

“Careful baby. I’d hate to have to chastise you for fucking up my car...but then again, I’d love to punish yo thick ass right now, especially after what happened to my foot.”

“But daddyyyy—“ so much pressure was building from the work of his fingers inside her that her vision was blurring. “You said—you said you didn’t blame me.”

He used the pad of his other thumb to wipe a single tear from the apple of her cheek. The guilt and pleasure she was experiencing was too much.

“I don’t blame you, baby. But next time imma let cho hard-headed ass fall.” Erik’s head nodded to the front of the car. “Time to order. You know what I want.”

“Welcome to Clucky’s, what can I get you today?” The voice from the intercom was bright and clear.

“Umm, hi,” she replied with shaky breath. “Can I get a number threeee?”

Erik decided in that moment he’d latch himself to her nipple. He didn’t even bother to lift her dress up. The warm breath of his mouth seeped through the material, completely overwhelming her senses.

“Is that all, ma’am?”

“Order my shit,” he demanded in her ear as his thumb flicked at her clit tirelessly.

“And a number 10, please.”

“Look at this pussy, got you creaming down my fingers. You wishing it was daddy’s dick, don’t you?”

“Did you say cream, ma’am? We don’t sell coffee after breakfast.” The cashier obviously heard Erik’s nasty ass.

“Uhhh I mean mayo, shit!” She said, trying to cover it up, embarrassed.

She quickly closed the window and lifted her dress, whimpering as she watched his fingers go in and out of her. The milky, creamy wetness she produced was having a serious effect on her man too. Her eyes traveled over to the ever-growing pipe in his joggers, yearning for her hands, begging to feel as good as her pussy felt right now. His eyes caught hers and gave her a silent warning not to touch him. She ignored it and reached over anyway, gently massaging the bulb of his dick over his sweats. He grunted in pleasure, despite the look of disapproval on his face. She couldn’t help herself. She loved to make daddy feel as good as he made her feel.

“Ok babygirl, since you don't want to listen, you better make me cum before we get to the window or imma bend your ass over the trunk and fuck you in the parking lot. You want everybody to see me wrecking yo shit?”

Part of her did. And he knew it.

Her cheeks burned at the thought of Erik fucking her pussy with dozens of eyes on them but the thought of other women looking at him in the lustful, longing way she did filled her with unwarranted jealousy. A jealousy that made her pussy all the more slippery. To know women wanted him but he only wanted her was a turn-on itself. He knew how her mind worked and that the words he said would have the exact effect on her that they did.

“Aye—“ he pinched her hardened nipple to bring her back to the moment. “Make me cum.”

She was excited and nervous. Erik had the stamina of a marathon runner. The nigga never came fast, her begging him to ‘please nut’ was a frequent occurrence during their lovemaking. Now he was demanding she make him cum in a matter of minutes, and now the line was actually moving past a snail’s pace. Sis was running out of time.

She widened her plush thighs to give Erik more access and a better view. He always praised the beauty of the deep brown to bright pink ombré of her pussy when he was in it. It was a start, but she’d certainly have to do a lot more.

“Daddy, why’s your dick so hard all of a sudden?” she asked innocently, sliding her delicate hand into his pants and pulling out all 8.75inches. She gasped at the sight of it. Seeing it in the daytime with rays of sunlight shining on it was a sight to behold. “Is that my fault too?”

The only answer she received was the visible tightening of Erik’s jaw and beads of precum slowly trickling from his tip. She moved his natural lube around him, focusing on the head of his dick, knowing it was his most sensitive area. Her hand cupped the soft skin of his tip and made circular motions around it while he continued finger-fucking her.

“Ooo shit Erik, that feels so good baby. Can you add another finger, please?” His eyes bulged and she felt his dick twitch in her hand. “Fuck daddy, yes, yes. I’m gonna cum so soon...thank you daddy, thank you... You’re making me cum so hard for you, I can’t take it...fuck I can’t...fuhhhhhkk!!”

Her hand momentarily paused the work it was doing on Erik’s dick as she came, but that didn’t stop her from noticing the rapid pulsing of it as she orgasmed. Her daddy loved to watch her cum with his thick fingers inside of her.

“That’s my pretty baby, get that good nut.” The sound of his voice with his fingers still filling her hole had her wanting her another cum, but it was his turn.

“Can I make you cum now, daddy?”

“You better. We’re almost at the window.”

She glanced down at his hand inside of her and gently pulled out his fingers, her aroma filling the confined space even more. Erik closed his eyes and deepened his back into the seat, the smell of her bringing him to that familiar, blissful state she and her pussy always put him in. His moment of calm was quickly lifted when he felt his own hand sliding up and down his dick. Erik looked down to see his babygirl’s hand over his using the juices from his fingers—from her pussy—to wet his dick up.

“You nasty, clever little slut—you making daddy use his own hand to cum? Hmm?”

“Please don't be mad daddy. I’m helping, see?” She guided his hand back to her glossy pussy and scooped out more of her sticky cum and made him stroke himself with her juices again. This resourceful bitch. He smiled proudly at her, his eyelids slowly fluttering from their collaborative stroke.

She leaned over to him, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into her for a slow, lazy kiss. She dominated it and him in a way that was rare for her. They moaned into each other with need as she continued the swift cycle of wetting his fingers with her pussy and jacking his dick.

“Mmmm daddy, I think imma cum again…” she whispered against his lips.

“Do it. My baby deserves another nut.”

“I do? Cuz I’m a good girl for you?” She kept up her motions on them.

“Yes. Only for me. My good girl with the pretty kitty.”

She unexpectedly bent down to deep throat Erik. The taste of herself on his dick excited her. She gagged on his thick member a few times before looking up at him and letting out a mangled “I love you.” He held her head in place as he exploded in her mouth, cum escaping out the sides as she desperately tried to swallow it all. When she was done, he pulled her back up to his lips and kissed her gently, despite his heavy breathing. He released her in time for her to pull up to the window.

“Sorry for the wait ma’am. Y’all had the number three and—“

Her eyes followed the cashier’s line of vision back into the car and straight into Erik’s lap, where his dick stood erect against his stomach.

“The fuck you looking at? You ain’t never seen a dick before?!” Erik’s girl’s attitude and acute jealousy was unmatched. It was part of the reason he stayed on hard for her. She was like him in a lot of ways, just wrapped in a fluffier , cuter package.

“Baby, chill,” he requested softly. She yanked their food from the cashier and sped off without paying.

“...and what the fuck you mean ‘baby chill’ you the one with cha damn dick out in the middle of a drive-thru!”

“You pulled it out though.”

“Whatever nigga, I’m never driving again. Fuck this and fuck you!”

“I love you too, babygirl.”