#but i do think it's interesting re: sam and accepting responsibility and apologizing

[monstermoviedean]

sam externalizes blame for all the things he hates about himself and dean internalizes blame for his.

[llycaons]

hey, thank you for replying to my ask about sam reid and for engaging so respectfully. i typed all this out and then saw you turned off anon messages so using a throwaway, feel free to delete if that’s not okay w/ you or reply publicly/privately idm. i’ll try to argue why my take on what he said is different. firstly i think it’s normal that he’d be fixated on lestat’s feelings when that’s obviously the character he plays and it’s his job to get inside his head and access those emotions. like he will naturally have a sympathetic approach to the character just like assad does with armand, jacob with louis etc. he’s probably put the most thought into how all these things make lestat feel since that informs his performance.

secondly, i don’t interpret what he says as “the abuse wasn’t as bad as louis remembers”, he says that one specific part of the abuse *probably* wasn’t as violent as he says which i think lines up with what the revisit showed. but i don’t believe that abuse being less violent = less bad. all abuse is bad. i don’t see where he implies that this makes what he did more acceptable. the whole point of lestat’s apology during the trial was that it doesn’t.

as a survivor and as someone who has researched abuse, i also feel like SR saying that it was driven by love is not an excuse or downplaying it. lestat *does* love louis and he still abused him. love and abuse aren’t mutually exclusive and i’d even say that abuse is more likely to occur in relationships where there is love present. love can manifest in toxic ways such as through controlling and violent behaviour and it doesn’t make it okay. abusers can be otherwise loving or romantic people and that’s why their victims often struggle to leave them. they aren’t inhuman monsters incapable of love and i think a lot of people buying into this contributes to stigma associated with victims staying with their abusers. i don’t understand why SR saying it comes from a place of love is alarming — the intention or motivation does not matter, the impact is what matters. and the whole purpose behind these interviews is for him to *explain* why lestat does stuff. and lestat abuses louis because he was also abused and he doesn’t know how to love in a healthy way. it’s still abuse and it’s a unacceptable.

i’d also say that while yes, he’s questioning the testimony of a survivor, he’s doing so of a fictional character whose memories we are being encouraged to question so i don’t think this is a no-go the way it would be in real life. he’s not saying that louis is purposefully distorting events. that being said, you definitely raise some interesting points re: whether lestat truly sees his actions as unforgivable… i think lestat is probably just a hypocrite and logically knows what he did was irredeemable but he’ll never stop wanting louis’ forgiveness and love anyway. last thing re: the trial, i personally think we’re supposed to take his apology sincerely rather than as another part of the sham, and i also think it’ll be revealed that he either a) wasn’t willingly involved in the trial or b) was secretly working against the coven to try and save louis/claudia, but that’s speculation at this point.

idk. sorry this is so long, i’m not trying to change your mind, just wanted to get this off my chest. i’ve read a range of views on twitter and that tumblr you linked already — ty for sharing that anyway though. i think their commentary on fandom racism is important and i did send them a message sharing some of these ideas but didn’t get a response back (which is fine). i think ultimately i agree SR should word things more carefully going forwards even though i’m sure he assumes his audience is like… not racists who condone abuse. or people that see only him as authority and not the rest of the cast and creators. but thank you for your thoughtful reply. i know it’s a sensitive subject and i appreciate it. truly

hi again, anon. I'll put this under a cut since it's already a bit long. much to think about! but I have some time today and I do have counterarguments so, sure

firstly i think it’s normal that he’d be fixated on lestat’s feelings when that’s obviously the character he plays and it’s his job to get inside his head and access those emotions. like he will naturally have a sympathetic approach to the character.

true! it's entirely understandable for an actor to want to get inside his character's head, feel for him, see how he works, etc. lestat is a horrible person, but SR still does need to feel him as a complex individual to play him well, which he does. HOWEVER that doesn't translate to answering interview questions in-character as if lestat's perspective is the objective truth.

secondly, i don’t interpret what he says as “the abuse wasn’t as bad as louis remembers”, he says that one specific part of the abuse probably wasn’t as violent as he says which i think lines up with what the revisit showed.

I genuinely do not know what this is referring to. the ep5 fight? if anything. lestat's retelling makes it MORE violent on the whole because it includes louis fighting back. I am quite puzzled as to what both you and SR refer to. and the 'revisit' wasn't the objective truth either, as you seem to be taking it. lestat's version is lestat's version, which is a twisted and obviously exaggerated version he was telling a WHITE audience to get them to condemn louis and claudia to death. the revisit may have had elements of truth, but it was not, and was not meant to be, taken as objective fact. even though some white fans...apparently missed the point entirely...even though they're literally the white audience being commented on...okay

but i don’t believe that abuse being less violent = less bad. all abuse is bad. i don’t see where he implies that this makes what he did more acceptable. the whole point of lestat’s apology during the trial was that it doesn’t.

I mean, that's technically true, but that's not an interpretation that most people will go with? compared with armand, the majority of lestat's abuse was violent. any hint that it was less so makes him seem better, and I cannot believe that you don't see that implication. of course all abuse was bad, but louis wasn't subjected to all abuse equally with lestat. sorry but I really can't agree with this one. it really seems like you've got a certain read you're quite convinced of, but we can't know what SR is actually implying. and anyone would know by common sense that less violent WOULD imply less bad when it comes to lestat so he should know how his audience would take this, especially since lestat in the trial constantly downplayed his own physical violence in order to make himself seem like the victim

as a survivor and as someone who has researched abuse, i also feel like SR saying that it was driven by love is not an excuse or downplaying it. lestat *does* love louis and he still abused him. love and abuse aren’t mutually exclusive and i’d even say that abuse is more likely to occur in relationships where there is love present. love can manifest in toxic ways such as through controlling and violent behaviour and it doesn’t make it okay. abusers can be otherwise loving or romantic people and that’s why their victims often struggle to leave them. they aren’t inhuman monsters incapable of love and i think a lot of people buying into this contributes to stigma associated with victims staying with their abusers. i don’t understand why SR saying it comes from a place of love is alarming — the intention or motivation does not matter, the impact is what matters. and the whole purpose behind these interviews is for him to *explain* why lestat does stuff. and lestat abuses louis because he was also abused and he doesn’t know how to love in a healthy way. it’s still abuse and it’s a unacceptable.

I do think the points you raise about lestat holding genuine love for louis are absolutely true and valid, worth keeping in mind, but still I find how SR blends his statements as an actor understanding his character, and as a character himself, to the audience to be irresponsible at best and inflammatory to the audience we've previously discussed at worst.

i’d also say that while yes, he’s questioning the testimony of a survivor, he’s doing so of a fictional character whose memories we are being encouraged to question so i don’t think this is a no-go the way it would be in real life. he’s not saying that louis is purposefully distorting events. that being said, you definitely raise some interesting points re: whether lestat truly sees his actions as unforgivable… i think lestat is probably just a hypocrite and logically knows what he did was irredeemable but he’ll never stop wanting louis’ forgiveness and love anyway.

another good point...I just feel like the fact that SR, a living human with authority stating things from his white abusive character's perspective as if they're are meant to be taken as facts, is still subjected to critique. like outside of the fictional setting of the story entirely, that's a bad move

last thing re: the trial, i personally think we’re supposed to take his apology sincerely rather than as another part of the sham, and i also think it’ll be revealed that he either a) wasn’t willingly involved in the trial or b) was secretly working against the coven to try and save louis/claudia, but that’s speculation at this point.

we have the benefit of hindsight to address this point. I personally still can't tell if it was sincere...whether it was scripted. I kind of think it WAS because santiago got so mad and as you correctly predicted, he ended up saving louis! it certainly seemed sincere but man, I don't trust like that...

ultimately - for sure, a lot of food for thought, I'm conflicted myself about a lot of iwtv, BUT. it's very important to remember that race and racism, specifically antiblack racism (lest we forget the caricatures and stereotypes at the trial) simply has to be as important in this conversation as abuse and ipv is, and I don't want to forget that in this conversation either. and there's so many brilliant users on here analyzing the show through that lens and talking about the show's racist fanbase more generally, and those inappropriate comments from SR more specifically - people in the notes, but also people in my own notes who I rb from, though I don't feel comfortable @ing anyone in particular. like I said before, I'd encourage listening to what they have to say too. the gayv club trial episode recap just dropped and I've got to reccommend it - free for all, not just patrons! only halfway through but I'm really enjoying their commentary

lasty, I can tell this topic means a lot to you, but it means a lot to many people who haven't just experienced and researched abuse, but antiback racism as well, so I hope you can respect why people, especially people of color, find SR's comments worrisome. I don't know him. I don't know if I CAN give him the benefit of the doubt. I can't be sure about any of his assumptions or goals. whatever his intentions, he said what he said. and as you yourself said, the impact is what matters

and I really don't think he needs the amount of defense you've been putting so much energy into. he's a very successful white adult actor and lestat is an extremely popular character. he will be fine. a few posts with barely any notes criticizing his choice of words will never touch him. have you considered why you're feeling so defensive of him, and whether it's entirely to do with the content of his words, which you've interpreted so specifically and carefully to be exactly what you'd like them to mean? I'm also not sure why my opinion, specifically, means so much to you. if we're mutuals I hope you'd understand why I have no desire to defend a rich white man like this, and why I'm erring on the side of caution here. and I'll just reiterate the absolute absurdity of trying to analyze these dynamics, or this show, or this fanbase, through only a lens of abuse.

oh and I said before I don't mind answering a burner account, and it's certainly less intimidating than anon, but I'm still putting quite a lot of thought and effort into debating someone who is still an anonymous stranger, so I would prefer not to have any more asks like this. like this was all from a single observation I made about (at least) a very poor choice of words, and I never expected to be needing to tell someone 'you know, you should really take race into account, and listen to poc, in analyzing a white actor commenting on his abusive character in a show that deals so heavily with race, especially with such a racist fandom', none of which you've mentioned in your response at all, so yeah some of the points you made were genuinely insightful, but ultimately I still think SR really screwed up in his word choice, I say again please seek insight and perspectives from users of color, and I'd like to leave it there. thanks

[abbatoirablaze]

The Avenger Initiative, Chapter 4

Word Count:  3.5k

Warnings:  manipulation, dubcon, noncon, underage drinking, sexual situation/sexual tension, drugging.

Mira’s POV

"It's been like a week since those guys came around," Danielle sighed longingly, "only Sam comes around for Brittany."

I shrugged, eating a piece of toast with my eggs, "good for her.  It seems like he likes her a lot."

"But that cute one. Steve. He hasn't come back at all," she replied with a frown, staring across the island at me, "did you do something that night?"

"Me?" I asked nervously, "No. I didn't do anything. You, however, were kind of a bitch...if that's what you want to know."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm sure you're just being dramatic."

"I'm not," I replied, putting my toast down.  I got up from my spot and went over to put my plate in the sink, "but its whatever. You can keep trying to play innocent."

"Where are you going?" she asked, "we have to start working on the routine."

"How much can we really get done without Brittany?" I asked in response, "she spent the night at Sam’s...remember?"

"Well, when is she going to be back?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "you have her number. Why don't you ask her?"

I threw my napkin into the garbage and took a glass of orange juice out of the kitchen with me. It wasn't until I reached the stairs that I heard her yell about me being 'an unbearable bitch.' Making sure to slam my door I put the juice on my nightstand as I grabbed my book. Flopping down on the bed, I opened it back up to my marked spot. Getting lost in The Hobbit, I forgot my troubles with Danielle, and the loss of company with Brittany now being occupied by Sam these past few days.

Right as I reached the part where the adventure was really picking up my phone dinged. It was a message from an unknown number. Clicking into it I blushed, instantly recognizing that it was Bucky.

'I hope you don't mind. Brittany gave me your number. I think I might have left my shirt in your room last week.'

I blushed even deeper when I remembered our encounter last week. How his body felt against my fingertips. While one of my hands was exploring the miracle that was his vibranium arm, the other one had managed to drift down along his abs and settle on the button to his jeans. It wasn't until I realized my hand was a few inches away from his partially erect member did I put the hand on his shoulder.

As he shifted to catch my off-balanced, clumsy self, I felt his hardness poking my inner thigh. In a slew of apologies, I all but ran off of him and ran downstairs to re-join the group.

What do I say?  Do I admit that I'd found his shirt the day after Steve left and that I'd slept in it already?  Do I offer to wash it before giving it back?

'Oh...you left a shirt here? I don't remember seeing it. But I'll keep an eye out?'

Hitting send I quickly put my phone on the nightstand and looked to the shirt that was currently next to my pillow. It'd been a week, but his scent was still extremely strong on it. Quickly I opened the drawer to the nightstand and put it in there.

My phone dinged again, and I rushed to open it.

'Guess I misplaced it...oh well. It's a good excuse to use to talk to you again. Were you still interested in that research paper you'd been talking about?'

I smiled, realizing that he had been paying attention when I talked about the paper. Maybe all the sexualization was in my head. Maybe he was just a nice guy that wanted to help me out.

' 😊 Yeah. If you are up for it, I'd love to submit a paper on you. Do you have any free time?'

It felt like almost instantaneously my phone dinged.

'I'm on vacation, doll. All my time is free.'

I couldn't help but break out in another smile.  My phone dinged again.

'My place? Tonight? I can make up for last week and make you dinner?'

I blushed as I bit my lip. When I didn't respond for a few minutes, I saw his name pop up against my screen. My phone started vibrating wildly. I hit the accept button and put the phone up to my ear.

"I didn't mean to freak you out," he sighed breathlessly, "If you don't want to come over...I don't know. I can come over to your place...we can hang out in an open space. No pressure."

"It just sounds like a date is all," I admitted as I felt a blush rising on my cheeks, "and to be honest, it's the week before Thanksgiving. I'm surprised you all didn't have to go back to the city to do some big Avengers party or something."

I could hear him chuckling on the other side of the line. Finally putting the mark in the book, I laid back against the bed as he started, "well I mean, even if we did have to throw a party, they don't particularly care for us little guys. They usually want Thor. Cap. Stark. Hulk."

"Don't forget Hawkeye and Romanoff," I laughed, “you can’t forget them!”

I could practically hear the smile appear on his side, "sounds like you know something about the Avengers after all."

"Just the big six," I admitted, "my best friends Jade and Kenzie are pretty heavy followers."

"But not you?"

"I follow Dr. Banners' work, obviously," I laughed with a shrug, "and of course Tony's work in engineering and tech is always ground-breaking...but Dr. Banner's path is the one I track most. His medical work is the gold standard."

"Got it," he laughed, "keep you and Bruce separate."

"I would never do anything unprofessional," I laughed, rolling onto my side, "I think he's just a great person to learn from."

"He's alright," he agreed after a second, "...so...does this mean that you'll agree to coming over tonight since I don't have some big Avenger party?"

"And you're gonna cook?"

"Don't sound so surprised by that," he laughed, "I may be an old-world man, but I am modern enough to know how to step inside a kitchen."

"I can definitely appreciate that," I smiled. I began playing with one of the quilts on the edge of the bed, "if I do say yes to this...can we eat after I do some research?"

"Whatever you want, doll."

"Okay," I agreed. I bit my lip, "does-does this count as a date, Sergeant Barnes?"

"If it does, you need to stop calling me that," he chuckled, "it feels different coming from non-military personnel."

"Okay," I smirked, rolling over so that I was on my stomach, "I'll see you at six then, Bucky?"

"Six is perfect." 

I checked myself again in the mirror. It felt like my heart was beating a million miles a minute as I thought about walking over to the boys' house.  It'll be fine.

"Hey Sergeant Barnes," I practiced in the mirror, "Bucky."

I flopped myself down on my bed. My dress fluttering around my body, "god, why is this so hard?"

"Are you okay there, crazy?" a voice asked from the door. I looked up to see Danielle, a glass of something clear in her hand.

"Don't worry about it," I groaned, sitting back up, "I'm just freaking out."

"About robo-boy?" she asked.

"His name is Bucky."

"You're freaking out about him?"

I nodded, "yeah."

"So, you really like him," she smirked, stepping over the threshold of the door. I nodded again and she put her drink down on the dresser, "and you're gonna wear that?"

"What's wrong with my dress?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, "are you wearing a cincher underneath?"

"No."

"Come on," she sighed, taking my hand. Leading me over to the mirror she unzipped the front of my dress and I rushed to cover myself. She laughed as she headed into the closet, "don't worry virgin Mary I'm trying to help."

Before I could respond she was back with a waist cincher and had begun wrapping it around me.

"I don't need this," I scoffed, "I don't have like any fat on my body."

"No," she said quickly, continuing to wrap around my body. I could feel it start to tighten against my waist, "you don't. But you also only have slight curves. Put this on and robo-boy will be drooling."

"You think?"

She only nodded in reply as she finished up, and then I pulled the dress back on. Even I had to admit, looking at myself in the mirror my waist looked even tinier, and it made my hips, and my breasts stand out.

"How did it make my boobs look bigger?"

"The magic of beauty is pain," she laughed. She grabbed my hand again and pulled me to her room. Tossing me a pair of heels, I began to put them on as she worked on my hair. Half an hour later I had a cute half updo where some tendrils fell along my face to frame it, and a face full of very natural looking makeup. I gasped at myself, and Danielle smiled, "I know. I do amazing work."

"Thanks," I said slowly. I turned in the chair and looked at her. She seemed genuinely happy for me, "not to ruin the moment, but why are you helping me?"

"Brittany hasn't been around much this week," she sighed, "and well with just me and you in the house it made me realize that maybe I haven't been as nice to you as I could have been. I feel like every time I've seen you, you're avoiding me."

"I kind of have been," I admitted, "just...after what you said when we met the guys...it really hit me hard. It made me think that maybe I hadn't gotten over Jack as much as I thought."

"Don't even worry about him," she smiled reassuringly, "I mean hell, you have a date with an Avenger...nothing in the world could be safer."

"You're right," I smiled, suddenly feeling a burst of confidence rushing through me, "Thanks Danielle."

She smiled and left her room. I hurried up and grabbed my purse and my phone. It was almost six. Grabbing my coat and throwing it on I bolted out of my room.

Shit.

I gotta go.  Running down the stairs, I was stopped at the door by Danielle. She had a bottle of wine, "here, bring this. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"This is from your parents stash."

"Oh well," she shrugged, "I doubt they'll miss it."

I laughed and took the wine, making sure to thank her as the door closed. Checking my hair and makeup one more time as I walked over to the house, I felt my anxiety building. The house's main floor was lit up and as I got closer, I could make out Bucky's figure moving through the house.

Is he as nervous as I am?

"Here goes nothing," I whispered more to myself than anyone else. As I reached the final steps and came onto the deck, it felt like a swarm of butterflies released themselves inside my stomach. My nerves were going off the deep end.

I knocked on the door.  A few seconds later the door opened, and I was hit with not only the warmth of the house, but I could smell Bucky's cologne from my spot on the porch.

"H-hi Sergeant Barnes."

"Bucky, doll," he purred, opening the door more so that I could walk past him, "you can call me Bucky.  Remember?"

I nodded, now feeling my heart beating in my throat as I pased him. He closed the door behind me and locked it. I turned to him, "I uhm. I brought over some wine to go with dinner."

He smiled, "you didn't have to do that, doll."

"I know."

"What am I doing?" he laughed. He put a hand on my waist, "let me take the wine for you. I'll pour us a glass. Take your coat off. Make yourself at home."

"Okay," I smiled. I watched as he took the wine and disappeared into the kitchen. I couldn't help but feel sad at the loss of contact he'd put on my waist. I took off my coat and began looking around, but I didn't see a coat rack. So, I followed the path he'd gone through and found myself in the kitchen with him. He was opening the stove, checking on whatever it was that he'd decided to make. Two glasses of a dark red liquid stood on the counter beside him.

When he turned to me, he took a sharp intake of breath, "wow. You look really beautiful tonight."

I blushed, "thank you."

He shook his head and smiled, "I'm sorry. Let me take your coat."

I handed it off to him and he put it in a closet down the hall.

"So where do you want to do it?"

My eyes went wide, "excuse me?"

He smiled, "you said you wanted to examine my arm more. Do you want to go to the living room? The library? My room? We could stay here in the kitchen?"

"The living room is fine," I replied, feeling my nerves come down. For a second, I had thought he was asking me to 'do it.' I was grateful for once to be wrong. He handed me a glass of wine, and took my hand, leading me back down the hall. I took a few idle sips of the wine as we found our way towards a very spacious living room, "how long do we have? I mean, how much time before dinner?"

"I'm making ossobuco," he chuckled, "I could braise it all night if you wanted me to...but it'll be done in about an hour."

"Oh fancy," I giggled, "who knew Bucky Barnes was a man who knew how to work a kitchen."

"I'm a multi-talented man, doll," he smirked, sending me a wink, "but I'm sure you'll find that out the more time you spend with me."

"I'm looking forward to it." 

"So uhm, where would you like me?" he asked, "I can sit on the couch or a chair. We could sit on the floor."

"The floor is fine," I replied quietly. He chuckled and nodded, then pulled off his dark Henley, before sitting in the middle of the floor. I kneeled beside him, and he chuckled again, "what's so funny?"

"Come here," he said, holding out his hands to me. I sighed, knowing that he was right. If I was going to do an up-close examination of his arm, I'd have a better vantage point from his lap. I took his hands and he led them to his shoulders, and his hands went to my waist so that he could help me onto his lap without me falling. As I sank onto his lap, I couldn't stop the thoughts that ran through my mind.

His scent wrapped around me, and I felt my eyes closing to inhale it even deeper. Trying to keep my legs as close together as I could to stop the friction between our hips, I failed as I felt his jean covered crotch against my own lace covered one. I took a deep breath as I opened my eyes and was met with his own crystal-clear blue eyes. His face was a lot closer to mine than I would have thought possible.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, lying. Trying to keep in mind my objective, I took another breath and backed up slightly, which caused more friction between my thighs as his jeans slid against me. I could practically feel the pool that had been gathering in my panties in the few short moments I'd been on his lap, "do-do you remember anything around the time they installed it?"

My fingers grazed along the base of his arm, right where the shoulder joints would have been.

"No," he said breathily, "HYDRA wiped my mind so many times though I-"

"I'm sorry," I sighed, forgetting that he'd also undergone a lot of brainwashing and torture. I sat up slightly so that I could observe the line along his back. While it obviously included the deltoid, it looked like there were connections into his back along the spine of the scapula, the scapula inferior angle, and teres major, "does this go further into your back?"

As I leaned up more, he put his right hand on the small of my back, pushing our bodies flush with one another. I shivered as his breath hit my collarbone. Then I froze as I felt his lips against my skin. I let go of an involuntary moan as his teeth grazed a sweet spot at the base of my neck.

My hands immediately gripped onto the sides of his chest, riding just above his jeans as I gasped, "Bucky."

He nipped at my neck again, and I felt my chest heave. His stubble tickled the tops of my breasts and his soft lips feathered them with even softer kisses. I gasped again, this time dragging my hands down until they caught on the waistband of his jeans. Breathing heavier, and feeling my arousal grow I leaned back down, only to be met with his hips bucking up to meet mine.

I yipped at the feeling of his enormous, clothed bulge bumping against my clit, which was already sensitive and wanting more friction. My heart raced as his lips captured my own in an impassioned kiss. Instinctively my hands reached up to tangle themselves into his hair. His hands explored my body furiously. One gripped my waist so tight that it had my body melting into his thick, muscular chest. The other was shoved between our bodies as it fondled one of my breasts.

"Bucky."

"Say my title," he pleaded between kisses, "call me. Sergeant. Barnes."

I playfully bit his bottom lip as we kissed again, and he growled against my lips, before bucking his hips against me again. This time the friction was unbearable as he made sure to grind his hips against mine," Bucky!"

"Say it."

He held my hip with one hand as he grinded into me again, "Sergeant. Barnes."

"Again," he whispered, moving his lips down my jaw and back to my neck. He pushed his hips up against me again, "say it again."

"Sergeant," I moaned as he bit my sweet spot. He began licking and sucking on my neck, causing me to grind my hips against his without assistance. My hands dragged themselves back down his chest and he moaned. One of my hands kept going past his jeans as he bucked against me again. I gripped his thigh and he shuddered.

"God, doll," he moaned, "you're fucking perfect."

"Sergeant. James. Buchanan. Barnes," I moaned, palming him through his jeans. He bit down on my neck after I finished moaning his full title. I forgot why I was here. I forgot all about being objective. The only thing I wanted was to feel him, "how far away is your bedroom?"

His lips stopped attacking my neck and he looked at me, breathlessly. His lips were puffy and pink, no doubt from the intensity we'd been functioning at, "upstairs."

"I want you," I whispered, kissing him lightly again, "please James."

There was a fire in his eyes that ignited when I called him by his first name. His breathing got heavier. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly. But this kiss was different. The passion was still there, but there was another emotion I was used to. Hesitancy. When he pulled away there was a sadness. He shook his head, "I-I can't. Not like this."

"What?"

"Doll you've had a glass of wine," he said slowly, nodding to the wine glass, "that's your second glass...you're drinking mine. I-I can't take advantage of you like that."

"What?" I asked, not remembering that I had drank a glass already, "I-I'm not drunk though. You wouldn't be taking advantage of me. I promise."

He sighed and kissed me one more time. I closed my eyes, trying to think of when I'd had a glass already. My few idle sips had been enough to drain the glass when we were in the hall. He'd offered me his glass when I started examining his arm.

What?

How did that all blur together?

"You okay doll?"

I looked up to him and felt really dizzy, "ma-maybe I had too much.

There was a look of concern that crossed his features, "Mira?"

"I think I need to lie down," I replied. I put a hand up to my face, "James?"

My body felt heavy.

Something didn't feel right.

"What's going on?"

"You'll be fine doll," he whispered, "just sleep it off."

"What?"

"We'll talk in the morning," he shushed me. I opened my eyes and saw that I was laying on the couch, "hey-hey. Don't try to get up. We don't want you hurting yourself."

"What's going on?"

"It's okay doll," he cooed. I felt his lips on my own. My arms felt too heavy to swat him away. My legs felt like they were encased in concrete, and I couldn't move. But I felt Bucky's hands slide along the curves of my body, "just get some sleep. Be a good girl. Be my good girl. Get some rest." 

Chapter 5

[blacklister214]

They’re Better Not Go There!!!

*BLACKLIST SPOILERS*

They’re really doing it aren’t they? They are really going to make Red Katarina and pretend that makes sense. The voice and image overlay. The bubble girl house in the flashback. The insistence the real Raymond is dead. The parallel shots of child Katarina and the re-made Red. The everything about you is a lie callback.

 NO! NO! NO!

1) Katarina was in Bubble Girl’s house, but that was not the correct emotional response. Red was fond and nostalgic about bubble girl. He ripped the panel off to see the height chart. He blew up the house because he was haunted by what happened there. Nothing traumatic happened to Katarina in that house. She was not fond of Jennifer, nor interested in her growth. She did not “raise her family” in that house (Fredrick Barnes). She would not spend her free time restoring and then privately viewing a film strip of her lover’s child whose life she destroyed (The Front). 

2) The “You will always be her father Sam” speech implying Sam might have reason to think Red will usurp his title (General Ludd). Red already had a title, so why would Sam fear Red wanted to be Father as well.

3) The ballet performance of the girl dancing Swan Lake (Mako Tanida). The girl was too old to be Liz. This seems to be completely missing from this story.

4) Diane Fowler’s “truth about ‘your family’ would also be for naught (The Cyprus Agency). This truth that Red wants to know “more than anything”.

5) There is no way Katarina cares enough about Naomi/Carla to die for her. They didn’t have a relationship. Witsec happened right after Raymond was a fugitive. Raymond was a fugitive before he died and the swap was made. What deal could they have in place if they never met? Why would Kaplan call Naomi Katarina’s wife? Also how in the scenario they gave us was Naomi/Carla able to identify Agent Elizabeth Keen after 25 years?

6) Red’s “relatively normal life” he describes to Liz in 2x09. Katarina’s life was never relatively normal. Ever.

7) Red’s don’t lie policy when in 3x01 he says he’s not sure what happened to Katarina. Split sense of identity is one thing with metaphorically “death” as is sometimes acceptable. “I don’t know” however, is a bald-faced lie if Katarina and Red are the same person.

8) Cape May. He apologizes to himself? Choosing to save the child over himself was that hardest choice he’s had to make rather than killing Sam? He harangues himself for fake attempting suicide?

9) Visits with Dom. Dom said Red made choices for Katarina, and then Masha. Dom said Red killed his entire family. Red wanted hints on how to survive the loss of a daughter. Red was nostalgic about Katarina and glitter. Dom said he had no right to go through her things. 

10) Kaplan thought Liz would turn against Red if she found out he was her mother, not her father? Doesn’t sound like Liz to me. Also Kaplan apologizes to the K in Tanzi Farms which has to stand for Katarina. So while she is dedicated to destroying Red, she’s also apologizing to him?

11) Dembe’s not sure Liz will ever be ready to hear what Red “did to her mother.” Really, he wouldn’t think Liz was be okay learning her Mother was alive and in her life?

12) There were no burns on Katarina’s back in Requiem. There are major burns on Red’s back. 

I swear if they go Rederina I will scream. It’s that simple.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters. 

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late. 

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once. 

hachikireru by vaudelin  (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America. 

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

[sheikah]

My thoughts on Friki’s 8.01 leak

Ok so first and foremost I just want to say that this information is received second and even thirdhand. I do not speak Spanish and did not watch Friki’s video. As it was playing @adecila was kind enough to translate for @muttpeeta who was kind enough to chat with me. My bff @dracarysqueen was also feeding me some info (thanks my love!) and I read a somewhat broken English and at times unclear translation here. It gives you a gist of the video and I’m grateful to u/hang_the_dj2 for making it.  Edit: Here is @adecila‘s leak translation so that you guys can draw your own conclusions without my salt about these revelations haha. Her translation is the undisputed best and I didn’t see it prior to writing this post, though my response is still the same!

One of the first things I read about the leak was the bit about Gendry/Arya. Essentially Gendry makes a weapon to Arya’s specifications. He calls her “m’lady” purposely to fluster her. There is “sexual tension” between Arya and Gendry. HELLO??? I can’t fucking wait. This is going to take over as like the whole world’s GoT OTP lol calling it now <3 

Arya apparently also reunites with the Hound. My takeaway from that bit of the translation is that Sandor mentions something about how Arya didn’t go through with killing him, and I guess he’s grateful for that now? That part was a bit unclear to me in the translation I read. 

Arya also reunites with Jon (!!!!!) where they share a tender hug, compare weapons with one another, and generally have a sweet and positive interaction. Arya is wary of telling Jon that she’s a Faceless Man, and Jon asks Arya to try and talk Sansa into coming around re: Dany. It is obvious that Sansa dislikes or distrusts Dany and Jon is troubled by this and asks for Arya’s help. I’ve heard from one person that Jon also asks Arya to talk to Dany herself. I’m really pleased by the prospect of this because I knew that Arya would support Jon no matter what, and that that support would extend to Dany since they’re obviously in love. 

Speaking of, Friki did make note of the fact that Jonerys is obvious to everyone else: Davos, Tyrion, Varys, etc. Sansa can see it too and asks Jon point blank if he bent the knee out of love or if he did it to save the North. Apparently Jon is extremely taken aback that she would ask this question. We aren’t told more about this moment but I’m guessing Jon is offended that she would ever think he would do something as serious as swearing fealty to Dany simply because of his romantic feelings, and not with the best interests of his home and family at heart. I’ll be interested to see how that conversation ends.

Also, I realize we all already knew this (and have been knowing this literally forever) but these revelations all completely disprove political!Jon. Yeah, it was already disproven by the scripts and basically everything else about canon but this is just another nail in the coffin. Jon having apparently private conversations with both Sansa and Arya about his love for Dany pretty much solidifies that he isn’t secretly playing her in the interest of Stark supremacy or independence. 

That independence, though, is something that is still important to the Northern lords. Lyanna Mormont is outspoken in her disapproval of Dany as queen. She notes that they chose Jon as king, not Dany. Again, we knew this was coming, but I’m stricken again by how silly this is. It’s literally the end of the world. Can this discussion not wait?

Anyway, the Northern lords are not a fan of Dany and it is obvious. Apparently Dany attempts to ingratiate herself to Sansa. Something along the lines of her telling Sansa the North is beautiful. I guess this isn’t successful given the bit about Jon talking to Arya about how much Sansa dislikes Dany.

The Northern lords also tell Jon and Dany soon after their arrival at Winterfell that the Night King has turned Viserion into a wight and is riding him. Dany is distraught by this information and encourages Jon to ride Rhaegal already, in episode 1, BEFORE he finds out about being a Targaryen. They do this to try and get an edge over the Night King. 

Jon does ride Rhaegal while Dany rides Drogon, it’s a great time, and they have a pretty passionate makeout session afterward lol. Friki specifically said this was a good episode for Jonerys scenes. I obviously love this bit of info and think it’s hot and exactly what I want for them both. Who wouldn’t get turned on by riding a dragon with Dany???? (also, lol at how accurate @muttpeeta‘s fic is!!!!) My only wish is that the dragon riding happened after the reveal. I just think it would be a more significant acceptance of his identity for Jon to reach this milestone after discovering he’s a Targaryen. At the same time, I like this because it shows how much Dany loves and trusts him already. Before learning he’s a Targ, before learning he has a claim to the IT, she is already willing to share everything with Jon--even her “children.”

Also at Winterfell, Dany and Jorah break the news to Sam about the death of Randyll and Dickon. This is the part I really don’t like, so I apologize in advance for the rant here. So Dany shares this information and Sam is unbothered by the death of his father. Good. We expected that. He is, however, perturbed by the death of Dickon. While he thanks Dany for sharing the information with him, he is upset and apparently leaves to seek out Bran for more insight. Bran stresses that it isn’t important and that Jon needs to know the truth of his parentage. So Sam leaves Bran and finds Jon in the crypts. 

The first thing Sam shares with Jon, though, has nothing to do with Jon or his parentage. Sam finds Jon to tell him that Dany killed Randyll and Dickon. Jon, understandably, isn’t really phased. There are more important things to worry about, and Jon points out that not only do they need Dany, Dany is the queen. This is the moment when Sam drops the bomb. He tells Jon the truth of his parentage. Jon is shocked and denies it. Sam pushes further and tells him that Dany doesn’t have to be the queen because Jon is the king. 

This is the part that really, really bothers me. A lot. I knew there would be friction about Jon’s parentage. I knew there would be friction about Jon’s claim to the Iron Throne. What I didn’t expect was for the Tarly deaths to be brought up again (literally they brought these unimportant characters back in s7 just to kill them, just to cast doubt on Dany’s decision-making by her male advisers) in the same breath as Jon’s parentage reveal. These things are not of equal importance. The world is literally ending and we’re supposed to be worried about Dany’s judgment again? And to say she “killed” Randyll and Dickon is silly anyway. Let’s not forget: Dany didn’t break into Horn Hill with a dagger and kill Sam’s unsuspecting family in their sleep. Sam’s family betrayed Olenna Tyrell, sacked the Reach, wiped out the entirety of House Tyrell leaving no survivors at Highgarden, and allowed their liege Lady to be murdered in cold blood by Jaime Lannister. Dany retaliated on behalf of her slain allies and even offered mercy to the Tarlys if ony they’d swear allegiance to her instead. They refused, and died for their crimes. Why is this still being discussed? I genuinely don’t understand. 

By comparison, the Umbers and Karstarks betrayed their liege and were killed, but that act was seen as so egregious that Sansa suggested (and was supported in this suggestion by many Northerners) that even the descendants of the traitors be rooted out of their homes in retaliation for treachery. So why is Dany’s righteous vengeance on traitors still an issue? Why?

The episode apparently ends with Sam telling Jon that he is the heir. Again, I understand that. Westeros is built on male-preference primogeniture. Jon’s claim could trump Dany’s (for multiple reasons) and Sam and others would see that and likely push Jon to see it. The natural extension of that argument would be to suggest that Jon and Dany marry and unite their claims. Instead, Sam is possibly (again, we just had one brief video and multiple translations and interpretations of this video. I’m not sure exactly what Sam said) encouraging Jon to press his claim as king because 1. he has a potentially better claim and 2. because Sam might not believe Dany is an ideal queen due to the Tarly execution after the loot train battle. 

I just hate this. I find it massively OOC for Sam to use the huge moment of Jon’s parentage reveal to air his grievances about something Dany did. I find it massively OOC for Sam to be so concerned about Dickon in the first place, especially now. We have not been shown a positive Sam/Dickon relationship in canon, and Dickon was aware of Randyll’s abuse of Sam--he witnessed it firsthand--and did nothing to protect Sam or stand up to his father. On the contrary, Dickon loved and looked up to the brutal Randyll enough to willingly die at his side. This was not a man who was overly concerned about Sam, or vice versa. But now, suddenly, Sam loves his little brother enough to complain to Jon about Dickon’s death in a way that disparages Dany? Additionally, Sam is one of the few people at Winterfell who knows exactly how big of a threat the Night King and the White Walkers are, and we’re supposed to believe his main concern right now is what happened to Dickon? We’re also supposed to believe that Sam, Jon’s best friend, would think he could talk Jon into being king of the 7K, despite Jon’s multiple explicit statements about how much he abhors ruling?

So we’re going to have a delightful week between episodes 1 and 2 during which the antis compose dissertation-length dark!Dany meta like crazy. We have to suffer under what I consider to be a very poorly manufactured conflict that was written just for petty drama. I literally spent the day today at a conference on Women’s Leadership and one of the key topics discussed was how women with true power are seen as threatening and have to work twice as hard to be taken seriously. Glad to see Game of Thrones doing literally nothing to challenge that idea where Dany is concerned. 

Moving on. 

We also apparently learn that Theon saves Yara early on, early enough to be back at Winterfell in time for the Battle of Winterfell. I’m thrilled as a shameless Yara fangirl :)

In King’s Landing Cersei receives word of the Night King and wight!Viserion. She also sees that the Golden Company arrives but not with the force she expected. Apparently they were supposed to have elephants, and they don’t? She’s angry about this, but still sleeps with Euron as payment for delivering her army. I also read somewhere that back at Winterfell, Tyrion is aware that Cersei has commissioned the GC and that she plans to use them against the North instead of as aid against the Night King. This is interesting considering Friki’s other leak involving some treachery by Tyrion later in the season.

Overall, the episode sounds compelling at least and I’m excited about Gendrya, a Jon/Arya reunion, Jonerys getting horny from riding dragons together lol, and Yara living. But Sansa still being a constant voice of opposition for Jon, and the petty Jon/Dany/Sam conflict is really unsettling to me and I’ve very tired of hearing about Randyll and Dickon Tarly. 

[probably-writing-x]

High Society (Chapter 8)

Tags: @imarypayne @sunshine112 @sleepwalkingdragon @supernatural-girl97 @vibhati123 @butithasntkilledyouyet @faefictions @carisi-sonny @trap-house-homiecide @shamelessbookaddict @tommydaspidey @oneblckcoffee

Warnings: Mentions of murder, language warning, suggestions of sex, mentions of gang crime/activity, depictions of crime

"Oh you're just so funny Harrison!" Imogen squeals at something extremely mundane that Harrison had just spoken. The entire evening had been like this and now the four of you were curled on the comfort of the couch, ignoring the view of the Netflix film playing on Tom's grand TV.

"Yeah," Harrison nods, wanting nothing more than to pull away from her clinging onto him.

You and Tom were much more natural in your intimacy, he had snuggled into you to lay his head on your lap as your hands absently trailed through his hair and over his exposed biceps.

The sound of the front door opening made everyone thankful for a break away from this awkward atmosphere. You glanced over to see Sam greeting Noah into the house. Huh, didn't realise they were friends...

Tom's eyes peek open minimally and he peers over the back of the couch to see the visitor, "Noah?" He frowns.

"Oh, hey guys," Noah smiles and you notice his embarrassment as he scratches at the back of his neck, "(Y/N),"

"Hi," You respond, washed over with a feeling of guilt about how things were left between you and Noah and Zendaya, "I'll be back in a minute okay?" You say to Tom who realises his need to move by the shuffling of your thighs.

Noah looks at you as you move over to him and realises that he should be following you as you walk out of way from their prying ears.

"Listen I'm-" You start, not really sure what to say after your apology.

"I know, me too," Noah nods, relieving any of the tension that existed between you, "We were way too harsh with you earlier,"

"No, you were right. All of this stuff with Tom, it's made me get caught up in all of their drama and that's definitely not what I had planned for this year," You sigh and you can't help but let your eyes dance back over to Tom who looked so alone without you.

"Yeah, I think we've all done things we didn't plan to so far," He chuckles and you notice his eyes falling onto the younger of the Holland brothers in your sights.

"So, you and Sam, huh?" You raise your brows, "I didn't even know you two were friends, or spoke!"

"Me neither," He laughs, "I was in cooking a few weeks ago and he needed some help so we worked together. And we just got on really well. He's still struggling with his sexuality and I'm not exactly confident with mine so... I don't know, we're good for each other,"

"Noah that's really great to hear," You smile, "Go on, get back to your man,"

He laughs as the two of you walk back into the lounge, "And you get back to yours,"

You look over to Tom once again to see his look of anger as he sees Imogen's treatment towards Harrison. The way she glares every time he acts in a way she doesn't like, the constant desire for an unnecessary affection.

"Hey," You break his gaze, sitting back down in the empty warmth beside him.

Tom's attitude changes instantly as he wraps his arms around you, lifting your legs over his to try to keep you as close as possible, "Is Noah here for Sam?"

His question is one you don't want to answer, you didn't know how much Tom knew about Sam and you didn't want to be the one to say something Sam wouldn't be comfortable with. Your lack of response gives him enough of an answer.

"I'm glad he has someone," He comments, nuzzling into your neck, "I'd hate to think that he feels like he's alone. And I hate that he's not comfortable with telling us,"

"Well, these things take time. It's a big thing and he's still coming to terms with who he is, but he knows you're there for him," You answer, running your hand through his locks.

Tom leans into your touch and for a moment feels more sure of himself than ever, "Are you staying tonight?"

You pause for a moment and scan the details of his face. The crisp continuance of his jawline, the clean shaven skin that settled above it, the warmth in his dark eyes.

"I'd love to," You smile, pecking his lips softly.

~~~Wednesday 30th January 2019~~~

"You and (Y/N) began an intimate relationship is that correct?" The woman asks but of course she knows it is.

"Yes," Tom states bluntly, becoming increasingly irritated at their fixation on your relations with him.

"Her parents weren't a huge fan of the life she was creating for herself. In fact, they were willing to take her out of school," She proceeds, "All because of issues they had with Imogen,"

"It wasn't just Imogen," Tom is quick to respond, knowing the woman was likely to suspect him if she continued, "They didn't like me either,"

~~~Saturday 17th November 2018~~~

You awoke the next morning and were sure the events of last night were a dream you would swear yourself to secrecy over. But there he was. In his exposed vulnerability, Tom's arm was wrapped around your waist, his head nesting against your shoulder.

Your slightly movements made his hold tighten just a little bit and you regretted trying to move an inch when you saw his eyes begin to flutter open.

"Morning," You mumble, breaking the thick air that had settled over the room since the events of last night.

Tom groans in response, welcoming your form beside him and nuzzling into you further, "Morning,"

You shuffle in the bed and eventually manage to turn to face him, noticing the disheveled mess of his bed hair that was probably more of your doing than of anything his natural sleeping had done.

"I hate to be that person," You begin and you know he is certain of how you will respond, "But I need to go,"

"So I'm just a one night stand, hmm?" He questions with mock offense but his showering of tired kisses across your collarbone said differently.

You roll your eyes and kiss the tip of his nose, pulling yourself with all your mental strength away from his touch. His eyes remained shut as he shuffled over to your side of the bed, hoping to collect some more of your scent from there. When you stand up to collect you discarded clothes from your previous evening and glance over to see Tom peering at you through slightly opened eyes.

"Thomas Stanley Holland!" You exclaim, "Are you looking?"

"Come on, darling, you know I saw it all last night," He smirks and the pride on his face makes you blush beyond belief, "But, I won't look,"

He rolls onto his back and tucks an arm underneath his head, averting his eyes to the ceiling.

"So, do you think Harrison is going to be okay?" You start, interested to see his reaction after last night.

"I'm scared he'll do something he's going to regret if I'm honest," Tom admits and you notice his deep sigh by the large rise of his chest.

"What do you mean?" You frown as you tug Tom's tshirt from last night over your body, welcoming it's loose fit over your skin.

"Harrison... can act without thinking sometimes. And he's not a bad person, but part of him is always willing to do bad things," Tom admits and all you want to do is go over to him and promise him that he wasn't going to lose his best friend. That all of this was temporary like all of their high society problems were meant to be.

Tom glances up to you and the smile that dances as a shadow on his lips is a clear response to your natural beauty in his view.

"Stop staring," You exclaim and he laughs at your inability to accept his excessive affection, "We're meant to be talking about Harrison,"

~~~Wednesday 30th January 2018~~~

"You got yourself involved in something you shouldn't have done," By Harrison's silence, the woman knows she's going to have to continue, "More specifically, you got yourself involved in a gang. They were willing to provide you with an escape from all of your domestic issues and you accepted completely. Tell me what happened after that,"

"They started off as just an escape. I just wanted to find any way of pretending this was only part of my life, and I wasn't surrounded by everything that I was losing," Harrison admits, head in his hands as he re-lives events he swore against ever considering again, "But then they started getting me involved in their business,"

"And what did you do, Harrison?"

The thought returning made him feel utterly sick.

~~~Friday 30th November 2018~~~

"Are you coming round tonight, mate?" Tom asks Harrison as he closes his locker door and turns to his friend.

Haz scratches at the back of his head, "Not tonight T, I've got plans,"

"What?" Tom laughs, "The boxing's on, we always watch the boxing together. You, me, Sam, Harry, Paddy," He pauses as he sees you walking up to them, "And this one's even joining us,"

"And I'm sure you'll have a great time," Harrison sighs, slinging his rucksack over his shoulder, "But, like I said, I've got stuff to do,"

He'd been weird like this for the past two weeks. Sometimes he'd just leave class to take a call from random numbers, or he'd just not turn up to school at all. There was always a lingering hint of alcohol and tobacco staining his pristine clothes and there was a certain 'on-edge' feeling to all of his movements.

"What was that all about?" You frown, walking up to Tom and welcoming the arm wrapping instantly around you.

"I don't know," He mumbles, his voice distant and clearly not focused on you, though he soon snaps away from it to look at you, "We should follow him,"

You pull away and look him in those heart-melting eyes, "You want to follow him?"

"I think he's in trouble," Tom comments aimlessly and soon he's tracing the invisible footprints of his friend, whether he had your approval or not.

~~~

The two of you follow Harrison all the way to the river where you notice him meet up with a group of people you were thankful you didn't know. They all held cigarettes and drink, Harrison included in only the drink, and their conversations made you feel a bit sick.

"Who are they?" You whisper to Tom from your cowering position behind the concrete wall.

By the stern expression tainting Tom's innocence, you could tell he knew exactly who they were. His hand gripped onto the wall a little more and drained a little more blood from his paling fingers. His pursed lips open to expose some information but it all stops at your next sight. One of the group who appeared to hold some authority over the rest pulled out the distinctive shadow of a gun from his pocket, it curved in his wounded hands like he knew every part of its body. And then it was in Harrison's. The way it seemed to weigh him down, the way he refused to look at it, the shudder down his back that he hoped he could hide; you knew it was all foreign to him.

It is like you can see the lump in Tom's throat that resonates in your own. You can see the way his hands would shake if they weren't so clenched against the wall.

"What are they going to make him do?" You ask quietly, though maybe it was better if you didn't get an answer to that question.

"I don't know," Tom responds, his words cold in this November chill, "But I have a pretty damn good idea,"

~~~Wednesday 30th January 2019~~~

"They were manipulating him, everybody was," Tom shakes his head, hands clasped on the desk in front of him, "He was desperate and he wanted to find somewhere where he felt like he could be somebody else. Where he didn't have to be the Osterfield son or Imogen's boyfriend,"

The woman opts to not respond this time, for what felt like the first time in forever. She knows Tom's continuance would probably give her more information.

"But those guys, that gang or whatever you want to call them," He continues, "They're bad people. I know they are. I knew it before and I know it now, they're willing to destroy people's lives,"

~~~Friday 30th November 2018~~~

You followed Harrison like stalkers, watching his every move and interaction. All the way to Imogen's house. With a gun.

He hid in the seclusion of her gardens, pulling a balaclava over his face and tugging the hood of the jacket those guys had given him over his head. The gun was pulled out of his pockets and you were sure that your heart stopped in that moment. What was he willing to do?

Tom lunged to go after him but it was too late as Harrison was already off. Starting his criminal steps towards the house like he would never return.

And you were sure you were about to be sick, the churning in your stomach like a ticking clock until he would walk back out of that house. If he ever did.

"We can't let him do this," Tom confirms after what felt like an eternity, "He's going to kill her,"

"Harrison doesn't have that in him, that's not like him," You assure him, feeling like it was the best thing you could say for now.

"He's going to kill her," Tom repeats and he was shaking now, slumping against the wall and certain that he was losing his mind.

"Tom," You cup your hand over his cheek, tugging him back to you, "He won't. We can't believe that he will because that's a worst case scenario,"

"Then what do we fucking do?" He raises his voice and you find yourself flinching away from him.

Before you can respond, Harrison comes charging out of the house, stumbling over his own feet and rounding the corner towards the alley where you and Tom were hiding.

Tom and you both stand up quickly and Harrison haults when he sees you.

"H what the fu-" Tom begins but Harrison simply grabs onto both of you and continues running.

It feels like you're running forever, feet pounding against concrete floors away from ths peering eyes of security cameras and the consistent policing of neighbours.

"This way!" Harrison yells and he hurries ahead through a tangling matrix of bushes, tripping over his feet but somehow faster than ever.

Tom grips your hand and pulls you through too and you find yourself in the back garden of Tom's house.

You can see them share a nostalgic thought and can't help but picture them taking that route every day when they were little, just two boys determined to play football when it was too cold outside.

But then it breaks. And Tom is full of a fury that he doesn't care to hide.

"Haz what the fuck do you think you're doing?" His voice rumbles as he grips at the material covering Harrison's chest, shoving him with full force, "What is that shitty mind of yours thinking?"

"Tom!" You exclaim, trying to break them apart.

Tom is quick to dismiss you, "H what are you getting yourself into? What have you done?"

Harrison can't respond, his eyes full of an utter fear that wouldn't be subsiding any time soon. It is then that he drops what he had been concealing this whole time, a velvet box falling to the grass beneath your feet.

[emilywatchescursedshow]

S1 E18 - Something Wicked This Way Comes

Director: Whitney Ransick

Writers: Eric Kripke, Daniel Knauf

Hopefully this episode doesn’t fucking suck

This just is a shot from an X-Files episode but I can’t remember which one.

OOH CREEPY HAND WE LOVE ITTT YESSSSSSS

Uhoh hopefully that girl’s ok

Following the dad clue huh. “He’s been so easy to find” right like he didn’t just come when you called that one tim.

Huh more sign communication but this time it’s all red vs black interesting color theory.

Wow no kid’s playing on a playground 2006 was a different time.

Dean picking up a milf

Oh no, this is the creepy S2 Buffy episode with the top hat guy. I love that episode but why do we have 2 Buffy ripoffs in a row.

Creepy old lady oh no is she a witch or... their MOM???? oh there’s an inverted cross she’s def evil, like they couldn’t have possibly made that more obvious. The shots in this episode are good also.

It’s weird watching a TV show where the production is so tight but the writing and acting are kinda blah.

THESE KIDS CAUGHT THE CURRENT from all these opens windows

How are they inside of this guy’s house

Creepy skeletal handprint

We’re getting young Dean flashback. I see he inherited the popped collar gene from his dad. I had hoped it was recessive.

Sam and Dean look like they’re the same age. They’re in a motel room??

Important detail for no reason but this is the first time I’ve been able to see clearly that Dean has hazel eyes.

Sam doesn’t remember his dad’s failings as a hunter interesting brother characterization

Can we please stop with the textual wincest jokes

Dean’s having “taking care of Sam” flashbacks and giving him all the lucky charms oh adorable I feel weird about these and idk why yet

She?

Sam not loving that Dean has all these memories that he doesn’t.

Wait ok I’m now having another what the fucking hell moment bc in this scene the costumer put Sam in a t-shirt that just has. A massive, fucked up looking dog on it. It is the weirdest shirt. Why does sam own this shirt

Oh no I hope it’s not the old woman from before that Dean spent like a million years staring at

Oh I remember this era of the 2000s when people would walk through the back of their too long jeans so the little pieces flapped behind them. The fact that Jarps jean’s are too long for him is hilarious because he’s already so fucking tall

Ok creepy old woman scene. Right because someone would just leave an inverted crucifix be

Hm I wonder if these idiots just kept their trees trimmed we wouldn’t have these problems anymore.

Jarps laugh is very stupid.

Dean having another little kid moment talking to a little blonde boy.

THANK GOD WE HAVE A DEAN SAYING “THIS IS NOT YOU’RE FAULT”

A accepting a lift to the hospital from a strange is uh not smart even when that person be Dean. Sam taking a phone call at the library what a naughty boy doesn’t he know it’s a quiet zone.

15-20 years back to the 1890s is like 5 different towns

Ah yes it’s the doctor. Sam probably shouldn’t have let Dean hang up the phone just then.

I love how the doctor still believes that Dean is a doctor when he’s got his popped leather jacket collar.

Wow Dean oh nooooo don’t talk about not firing your gun in a pediatrics ward.

We’re having a what’s the responsibility of children theme painted over with Dean’s weird childhood trauma about not being able to live up to his dad’s unreasonable expectations.

This monster is just emperor Palpatine but taller. Also I feel like Dean reacted as best he could in this situation lmao

Oh also John Winchester’s actor sucks also. Was he using his kids as bait??? Why else didn’t he drop them off at pastor Jim’s earlier.

Dean was like 12 when this happened. Why did Sam give up so quickly on the “you were just a kid” angle.

Ok so now we’re confronting the kid about this. He’s doing a good job stumbling his way through these scenes with clutching at the phone.

Dean suddenly getting the sense that the requests his dad made of him were unreasonable huh. Oh wait no the kid’s going along with it and we’re getting some stupid “you’d do anything for your brother” lines.

Dean literally telling a kid “we’re not gonna shoot you” what the fuck is this show

The kid is more afraid of getting shot than the monster which i feel like is reasonable but hilarious in the context of the show

Constipated iron rounds

Sam apologizing to Dean... Dean “Oh God kill me now” yeah I sort of feel the same.

I gotta give this monster props for always making the mast dramatic fucking entrances. Once again emperor Palpatine. Also the kid is just fully staring at the guy which apparently is fine I guess. We had to show the kid rolling under the bed so we know they didn’t shoot him which is fair I guess.

Oh the thing’s body didn’t vanish I guess because it has to attack Sam, unfinished business I guess.

Yeah this is feeding, not just leaning over a guy.

And now the body vanishes, but not before Dean shoots it a couple more times. We love being ineffectual.

Michael realizing that oh no SAM is the little brother.

Dean has problems.

Sam wishing he were Asher, Dean knowing he’s stuck as Michael. God this music is wayyy too literal for me to take it seriously.

I thought this episode was alright!! There were some rough points but I think we were sort of due for a “Dean has overprotective feelings in re: Sam” episode.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #200 - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue.

This first scene of the last film does a number of things well. For one, Sméagol suddenly becomes a much more sympathetic and tragic character. We see how happy this creature was before being corrupted by the evil of the ring; before becoming Gollum. And that’s the other thing this scene does well: we understand better than ever how evil the ring is. How quickly it can turn good people bad. This sets the stakes high for the final chapter of the trilogy. Originally meant for The Two Towers, its inclusion in this film works so much better I think. Also it’s worth noting that the transformation from practical Gollum makeup to CG is seamless and visceral.

2) I love how freaking angry Gimli gets upon running into Merry & Pippin alive (after searching so desperately for them in Two Towers) before being tempted by what they’re smoking.

3) It’s worth noting that I HAVE watched the extended editions of all three films and while I usually forget about the scenes added in those versions, Saruman’s death scene (which is cut in this film) is always one I miss. It is a nice note of finality for such a major character in the trilogy.

4) Much as this film really covers Frodo’s eventual corruption by the ring, Aragorn’s journey is also complete. Over the course of the trilogy we see him go from a loner who wants nothing to do with leadership into the king of men. This film is very much about Aragorn accepting that part of himself, becoming the leader he was always meant to be, and we see it in many little ways. He takes a moment for himself to respect those fallen before celebrating a victory, he imparts wisdom onto Gandalf, he earns the trust of Théoden, later honors his promise to the ghost soldiers even though he could’ve used them as a weapon, and leads his army into battle in an effort to give Frodo the time he needs. By the time the credits role Aragorn fully embraces his duty as king and that’s a wonderful transformation to watch.

5) Have I mentioned I low-key ship Sam and Frodo?

Frodo: “I need you on my side.”

Sam: “I’m always on your side, Mr. Frodo.”

6) The last film very much covered Merry’s maturity, becoming invested in the war (which guides his actions in this film as well). In Return of the King we get to see Pippin grow more as a person. We see him go from a someone who doesn’t think before he acts (like when he looks into the orb and risks alerting Sauron about Frodo) to someone with deep sorrow who takes responsibility for his actions (such as when he pledges his allegiance to the Stewart of Gondor because he feels responsible for Boromir’s death). It’s a nice subplot for the film.

7) Can I just say: Théoden can be a real idiot.

Théoden [about Gondor]: “Tell me: why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours?”

Dude, you made SUCH a big deal about not asking for Gondor’s aid in the last movie when you were heavily advised to do just that. And now you’re getting pissy because they didn’t give you something you said you didn’t want?

8) While Sam and Frodo’s kinship is wicked strong, that’s not to undersell how deeply connected Merry and Pippin are. They’re great friends and the sadness of their goodbye as Gandalf takes Pippin to Gondor speaks to that.

9) Okay, can I just say something? There are only three named female characters in these films I can think of who have lines: Arwen, Galadriel, and Éowyn. They’re all awesome, they’re all great. They never EVER interact with each other and while we understand both Arwen and Galadriel are dangerous women it’s only Éowyn who gets to fight in the war. And I get the books were published in the 50s and everything but come on. Some changes to improve on female presence wouldn’t kill the movie.

10)

Arwen [about Aragorn]: “If I leave him now, I will regret it forever.”

And that’s literal, because elves are immortal. I just wanted to point that out.

11) John Noble as Denethor.

While there is initially a bit of sympathy for the stewart of Gondor because he’s mourning his son Boromir, wow is that lost quickly. I am rooting for this guy to die harder than I am any other character in this series because he is such a raging asshole. I think he’s supposed to be and John Noble plays him in a very interesting way. Much like Imelda Staunton was great at making us hate Doloris Umbridge in Harry Potter, John Noble is great at making Denethor a selfish, arrogant, cruel bastard who I just want to punch in his fucking permanent scowl of a face. HE FUCKING ADMITS THAT HE WISHES FARAMIR WERE DEAD INSTEAD OF BOROMIR! I just��yeah, I’m glad when this jackass dies.

12) The Dead City always reminded me a little of the Emerald City from The Wizard of Oz. Or is that just me?

13) I apologize for this in advance.

Frodo [when he feels the Witch King near, who stabbed him in Fellowship]: “I can feel his blade.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

14) At first I questioned the need to include Faramir’s skirmish with the orcs, but for one thing it shows the continued darkness which spreads across Middle Earth as well as the scale of this war. Not to mention it feeds directly into a conflict between Faramir and his jackass dad.

15) I love Éowyn, which I said as much in the last recap. But in this film she is just so freaking ready to fight for those she loves, to stand up against evil even though the sexism of Middle Earth tries to keep her off the battlefield. But she doesn’t and we get the best moment in the whole trilogy. More on that later.

16) When I was younger I never really understood why Frodo believes Sam actually stole the bread, why he sends Sam away. But now I get just how great a manipulator Gollum is and how dark the ring can be on Frodo’s soul. Gollum knows EXACTLY what the ring is doing to him, the little things it whispers to him, the greed and mistrust which is taking him. He knows because he spent (I think) five hundred years under that very same influence. He knows what Frodo is going through better than anyone which he manipulates to his advantage.

17) Sean Astin just freaking shines with his breakdown after Frodo sends him away breaks up with him (you know, after refusing to give Sam a ring). He’s come so far, sacrificing his very life, to make sure Mr. Frodo stays safe and trying to make sure the ring doesn’t take him. And he’s ALWAYS on Frodo’s side, he always trusts Frodo. But Frodo can’t do the same thing for Sam. In fact, he does the complete opposite and distrusts him so deeply he tries to get rid of him. And it’s based on NOTHING, just the manipulations of a fiend and the darkness of the ring. Astin i just so great and conveying how heavy this is on Sam, I love it.

18) Ah, the song.

First of all, Billy Boyd’s vocals are just absolutely amazing here. They infuse the song with such grand heartache which helps it set the tone for Faramir’s attack on the orc troops. This isn’t a grand action scene, this isn’t a heroic triumph, this is a heartbreaking suicide mission made because of a son wanting to earn the love of his soulless father. And that’s why the song works as well as it does. It sets a beautiful tone.

19) Honestly, a few of these notes are just going to be me acknowledging awesome Éowyn is.

Éowyn [after some troops laugh at Merry for wanting to fight]: “Why can he not fight for those he loves?”

20) The scene where Aragorn takes the sword from Elrond is a great moment. The music, Aragorn’s demeanor, the subtleties of the cinematography, the visual of Aragorn taking the sword, it all just makes it feel like a real hero’s moment.

21) While the extended edition of this film may have some more Legolas & Gimli moments (there’s this wonderful drinking competition they get into), the bromance of the entire trio is still something I love.

Gimli [after Aragorn tries going into the dead mountain alone]: “You might as well accept it: we’re going with you, laddie.”

22) Merry is told he can’t go into battle by Théoden, that no one will carry him on their horse. Meanwhile Éowyn - who was basically told to stay at home and look after things while the men fight - says, “Screw that,” and takes Merry into battle herself. I LOVE ÉOWYN!

23) The scene with the ghosts and the dead mountain is truly eerie. Peter Jackson’s roots as a horror director really shine through in this wonderfully creepy scene and place. It’s just chilling.

24) In the long running list of why Denethor is a piece of shit: he is so freaking eager for Faramir to be dead and to have some man pain he doesn’t even check his pulse! Then he bitches about not getting help from Rohan which HE DIDN’T EVEN WANT and then gives up. Thank god for Gandalf.

25) The initial battle of Gondor has a nice sense of scale and stakes to it, especially when we see it through the eyes of Pippin. There’s this constant sense of dread and hardship which builds tension nicely.

26) I’m not talking about the spider scene because I always hide behind my hands when that scene is going on. I fucking hate spiders, guys. I hate them. It’s a miracle I didn’t just straight up fast forward past all the spider stuff. AND IT JUST KEEPS COMING BACK! You think the spider is gone but then no, it comes back for one last attack! ENOUGH WITH THE SPIDER ALREADY!

27) Gollum is totally done with the manipulation, the tricks, all of it. As soon as Frodo reveals his intention is to destroy the ring, he loses it and just is going to solve his problem with brute force. This doesn’t really work for him though.

28) Awww, Sam comes back to rescue his boyfriend only to think he’s dead.

Sam: “Don’t leave me here alone. Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

29) A coincidence to get the character in trouble helps move the plot along. Such as when the orcs show up RIGHT AFTER Frodo gets paralyzed so they can easily capture him.

30) Through a strong sense of visuals there is a nice feeling of hope when Rohan shows up to participate in the battle of Gondor. The build up to that and the fact we see it via Merry and Éowyn works REALLY well because they - like the audience - are both new to this.

31) I always liked that Gandalf is willing to leave the main battle to save Faramir, because isn’t that what this is all about? Saving as much life as we can.

32) There are few film deaths which are quite as satisfying to me as Denethor’s death. I won’t include it hear but those who have seen the movie know exactly what happens. Know if you seek it out it does involve fire (so if that triggers you maybe best to stay away).

33) Once the freaking elephants show up to battle you KNOW this shit is epic. One thing this film does best out of all three is its battle sequences are amazing. They may be long, but they are choreographed interestingly and use a strong sense of action = reaction to them. They’re epic and totally amazing.

34) I do have a bit of a fear of death, so Gandalf’s words to Merry always bring me calm.

Gandalf [after Merry says he can’t believe it’s going to end like this]: “End? No, the journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path we must all take.”

35) THE BEST FREAKING MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE FREAKING TRILOGY! If you only watch one moment from The Lord of the Rings, make sure you watch this one. This is all you need to see. This is beautiful and I love it and it’s awesome. Watch it! Watch it now!

FUCKING ÉOWYN VERSUS THE FUCKING WITCH KING! YES! You can see she’s TOTALLY scared but that doesn’t matter at all. She works through the fear, she fights this mythical creature who is supposedly un-killable AND SHE FUCKING KILLS HIM! It’s either him or her uncle and damn it’s sure as hell not going to be her uncle! It is glorious. I cheer every time. I love it. Best moment in the trilogy. No contest. Done.

36) There is this tone shift in the battle of Gondor once Legolas and Gimli start their contest.

Gimli: “There’s plenty [of the enemy] for the both of us, may the best dwarf win.”

They bring out an intense amount of fun to the battle which just has you cheering them on. Cheering on the victory! I mean, LEGOLAS TAKES DOWN A FREAKING ELEPHANT!

Gimli: “THAT STILL COUNTS AS ONE!”

I love it.

37) Again, I apologize for this in advance.

Orc [about to kill Frodo]: “I’m going to stick you like a stuffed pig.”

Sam [killing the orc]: “Not if I stick you first.”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

38) It is always important that characters not be passive. Them making a choice is interesting. So even when Frodo is at a point where he can easily STOP carrying the ring and let Sam carry it, but he CHOSES not to, that’s interesting. It speaks to his character.

Frodo: “You must understand: the ring is my burden.”

39) This is one of my favorite things to hit the internet in 2012. It’s so random and weird I love it.

40) The moment when Aragorn really becomes the king of men is when he rallies his troops to fight against Sauron. He takes his role as leader seriously and he’s damn good at it.

Aragorn: “I see in your eyes the same fear which would take the heart in me!”

He relates to them, he lets them know he’s afraid, but his bravery inspires bravery in others. That’s what a good leader does. They speak of hope and unity against hatred, they don’t encourage it. They don’t divide people, they bring them together.

41) Have I mentioned I love Legolas and Gimli’s bromance?

Gimli: “Who thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf?”

Legolas: “How about side by side with a friend?”

Gimli: “Aye. I can do that.”

42) Frodo is literally pushed past his physical limits, unable to climb any further up Mount Doom to destroy the ring. But he HAS to. That’s high stakes. Forgoing physical needs for the goal is the highest stakes imaginable. And also: HELL YEAH, SAMWISE GAMGEE!

Sam: “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”

43) Can I just say: I will never truly wrap my mind around the super convenient giant eagles which show up at the last minute. Like, maybe there’s an explanation for this in the books, but wouldn’t the eagles have helped out A LOT MORE before this final battle? I mean really. What’s with this Deus Ex Machina stuff?

44) The scene where Frodo decides to keep the ring visually matches the one where Isildur did the same thing in Fellowship, meaning the seeds for this were planted in the trilogy from film one. It’s smart planning and helps make the choice all the stronger. We’ve seen the consequences of this action once, but again? Oh man, that could be disastrous.

45) You can really see the influence the ring had on Frodo when this is the first thing he says after it’s destroyed.

Frodo: “I can see the shire.”

Frodo talked about how he couldn’t remember it before, while he was carrying the ring. But now it’s gone and he can. I love that.

46) One of my favorite moments in the series is when Frodo wakes up in Rivendale with Gandalf standing at his bead. Remember, Frodo thinks Gandalf is DEAD from the first film. So not only is there the joy at his own survival but that of his friend too. And you can see it on Elijah Wood’s face.

47) This film has A LOT of endings. Like, it takes 20 minutes to end. But I like each and every one. Firstly, this massive respect the hobbits are paid.

Aragorn [king of men, to the hobbits]: “My friends. You bow to no one.”

[Aragorn bows, then so does literally EVERYONE else]

48) The Shire still brings about the same sense of peace it did in Fellowship. You know you’re really out of danger when you are in that place. The tension defuses and it feels like…home. It’s worth noting that the hobbits at first have nothing to talk about while at the bar. They just sit there in silence because…what is there to say?

49) The final goodbye.

I may not be the best to pick up on subtext, but even I get that this boat into the West is meant to represent the afterlife. That Bilbo, Gandalf, and Frodo are all going into the afterlife (even though I always forget that Gandalf leaves). This is honestly not only the most fitting ending to the story, but for Frodo’s character as a whole. There’s no way Frodo could’ve just gone home after all that evil. He couldn’t have just returned to normalcy. He’s changed too much, so he has to move on. But just because Frodo’s gone, doesn’t mean life moves on. And I think that’s one of the greatest messages this film has: even in the face of great loss, life moves on. And there is always ALWAYS hope.

50) And I think instead of analyzing the song “Into the West” I’ll just leave you all with a link to listen to it because it’s a wonderful piece.

The Return of the King is everything fans loved about the first two Lord of the Rings films dialed up all the way. The stakes are at their highest, the battles are at their most epic, the performances are incredible, and the characters finally reach the end of the journey they started at the beginning of this film. Winning Best Picture at the Oscars the year it was nominated, this film definitely deserves it and is worth the watch (even if it is a long watch).

[livrelady]

#saw yet another post about sam feeling unclean and yeah i mean i see it#(although i think we give that a lot of weight considering it was brought up like. thrice)#but he doesn't think he has anything to do with that#it's his responsibility to fight the evil#but all the evil in him was placed there by someone else#and he doesn't think he can contribute to it#and dean is like. everything bad in the world is my fault actually#to be clear. both of these are incredibly unhealthy.#no one should do either of them!!!#but i do think it's interesting re: sam and accepting responsibility and apologizing#posting something slightly mean about sam in the light of day please PLEASE don't hate me#spn (X)

sam externalizes blame for all the things he hates about himself and dean internalizes blame for his.