#but i didn't know about the sales until i was already getting blood drawn

[gardenstateofmind]

feels beyond ridiculous that i have to wait for black friday sales from quest in order to get lab work done bc i don't have insurance

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

The same day we bought our Castle... I got this message

I didn't know what it meant so I just bolted on.

Then I ran into that house with the murders... And the wife thrown into the lake and I was just shook. Then more and more and more until I gave up.

This is the day that marked 30 years since Ms Chen's murder. I didn't know. But it was certainly the best way to spend that day. It was all "luck"

I certainly feel hard and my fake shield I put between me and Ms Chen melted like a thin piece of saran wrap.

It was what some people would call a panic attack "no lakes. No lakes. I can't live near water." Just one day looking out... If have dreams about the entire lake filled with dead bodies I had to save and solve the mysteries for. And the fear that I don't and wouldn't ever acknowledge of being afraid to look out my own window in case a dead body was there..

It would be an honor to help solve the mystery of a dead body. But I would never be the same after looking out my own kitchen window to a dead body.

So it got so bad... 84 dead They found in that lake area all dead. And i can tell you where they can find a dead body right now.

We were both fuck this we will build.

But Brian said... "Its not for them, it's for us. Go back and start looking again."

I was all "i need some time, i don't feel quite ready yet. Let me do some tasks and create space." I had a notification for Tommy Johnson Jr's 60 seconds. He normally drives the "Make A Wish" car for advertising and doesn't get money from them. Now hes doing an Anderson Cancer car. So i promised Brian i would but I would watch that and see what else i can do to put it off then go look for houses... But on the recommended videos of Tommy Johnson's video page... Was... The Castle.

An hour and a half later we agreed to pay $2.5 million for a house not even listed for sale. From a CIA operative that i gave an apartment to in Lower Manhattan in the 1990s for being a great lawyer and working for free 10 weekends on houses in Harlem from noon to dusk.

And so I see now what God said.

I abided in God's Grace. I didn't try to do shit my own way. I did shit the way he wanted me to -- to find the dead and have 43 arrest warrants drawn up that night.

And in return i was given the castle that was always promised.

And the story of the castle's original owners is one of the greatest gifts of all.

We always believed to be happy in a castle you have to know everything about it, including every single person that lived there before. Brian and i have talked about that often. Actually.

And so for us, Its the best mansion in the world.

30 years ago today i found Ms Chen in the New York Harbor, floating face down and missing two index fingers promising love and reincarnation.

Yesterday I began sharing her love.

For i once again found it for myself.

I also found God's Good Grace. His love.

And i found permission to not always be working But to enjoy life and take some time with my family.

Because that is what house hunting turned into. Work. It became to look like a miserable place to be and live. And I couldn't help but compare and contrast... I started thinking maybe Taos is the best bet... But i felt that door was closed already and it was just a window i was looking through.

Mass chaos. Through the Looking Glass. Sweat blood and tears would just fog it up with your breath. Useless. No fight left.

So i fell hard. I fell really fucking hard. I fell so hard i didn't want to get back up again. I wanted to rest and build a shield.

But i didn't. And I got up and a crawled straight to a castle like a begger.

Luckily my old friends inside weren't beasts at all but just Earthly Angels.

Now im gonna put up some big ole ugly scary 14th century type shit... Like 1980s Gremlin statues.

And these Idk I think they're from a cartoon.. Like butler's with high collars and big pointed ears and no hair...

Yeah that driveway is about to get scary.

All the kids gonna point -- "that old witch lives there" and dare each other to touch the fence and run back across the street.

Gods Good Graces. I been looking. Finally I found it.

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 44

“Don't ever do this to me again, because I don't know if I would survive” was the last thing she heard him whisper before sleep finally overpowered her, he just heard her sigh the cutest sigh in reply and then seconds later her deep, soft breathing, hopefully that hangover wasn't gonna be too painful in the morning. His eyes became heavy too, finally he could give in to this motherfucker of a jetlag that had been stalking him all evening, his adrenalin constantly pumping through his veins for hours had worn him out completely, she was safe, so was he, he had more than he could've asked for with her head resting on his chest and her body firmly glued to his, his eyes obeyed his mind and fell shut, let go, give in..the moon threw its' mysterious veil over their exhausted bodies at the closing of this weird, dramatic day. Come on, woman, pick up, where the hell are you? Surely that prick must have left hours ago, knowing you, he's probably being carried onto a plane, crippled or kicked black and blue because you're the wildest cat I know. “..'llo?”, what? it was fuckin' 7AM and that nitwit answered her phone with a sleepy voice? Fuckfuckfuck! “Jared?..hey! uhm, I was just checking up on Harper, is she ok? I was so worried about  her when you carried her out of the club..” his voice like honeygold syrup while he kicked the wall in frustration. “Sean..just a second” Jared reluctantly pulled his arm from under her but stopped when she started to stir, nonono don't move, only when she was completely still again, he whispered in the phone “Sean, I can't talk right now..she's ok..really..she's sleeping now and I don't want to wake her, I 'll call you later, ok?”. Sean heard the dry click in his ears, what the actual fuck? Oh she's sleeping, blablabla, she's probably exhausted from the hard fucking you gave her, bweeghh, his stomach squeezed uncomfortably together, she was his and he would get her..eventually..one lost battle wouldn't make him lose the war. “Who..phone..what time is it?..owww” Coco put her hands on top of her head and closed her eyes in pain “owww, my head..”, Jared groaned a little, she was awake, that stupid fucker had woken her, “it was Sean..checking up on you..here..” he turned to the nightstand and picked up the glass of water and a tablet. “I thought you might feel like you do this morning, so here, take that and go back to sleep” he handed her some paracetamol and the glass. She pushed the medicine between her lips and quickly swallowed it before she put her head back down on the pillow, “better already” she smiled carefully up at Jared, “good, I'm glad” he slowly twirled a strand of hair between his fingers and let his lips caress her aching forehead. “Will you just..?” her hand reached for his head and pushed it back down on the pillow as well, stop that Leto “thanks, I was getting a bit dizzy”, he shuffled his pillow a little closer until it bumped against hers, “you're..breathtaking” there was such an honesty in his eyes that she almost believed him. “Calm down, Leto, flattery is not gonna get you anywhere..that's not what it's gonna take, that is not what I need” she whispered “I don't need to hear all that beauty bullshit..that would be selling me short, like all I am is a pretty face to you, nothing more..I mean, think about it, just because you're very easy on the eye, doesn't make you any less of a bastard”.

Ok, time to face the music “true..” he squinted his eyes a little, indicating to her that her words made impact “I just can't take back what I said, can I? It was stupid and totally uncalled for, I wish you would believe me..when you put that knife into that painting yesterday, I felt it physically..I know that sounds ridiculous but I think you're the most talented person I've ever met”. Yeah sure, whatever, she rolled her eyes “the most talented person with absolutely no career.. pathetic? Was that the word you used to describe me?” she huffed but he stopped her from rolling over on her back again. “Don't, Harper..come on, you seem to forget that your paintings was what drew me to you, I didn't even know what you looked like and I couldn't care less, I was just so blown away by your work that I just needed to get in touch with you and buy something, which I never received by the way..” he smiled. She shot up and jumped from the bed, rummaging through some paintings and then returned to the bed “here, all yours” she pushed the painting in his hands “nobody else wants them”. He took the painting and shook his head “they just haven't seen it yet, hang on” he put the painting on the nightstand and took a picture, fidgeting around on his phone immediately after, “what are you doing?” she frowned, “I'm showing it to the world” he grinned as he pushed down on the screen “there! On instagram, facebook, and Twitter” he showed the picture to her, “what? But..I don't want..” she stammered, “too late, I'm not deleting it, it's high time the world sees what a talented painter you are..oh look, the first likes are flooding in..soon you'll be the most famous one of us two”. Harper snatched the phone out of his hands, oh god, he was right, that heart thingy popped up every 2 seconds “what the..?” she breathed as he pulled her between his legs, her back resting against his chest “your career is about to skyrocket, that's what” he kissed the side of her head. “How do I know they're doing it for my work and not because you put something on social media?” she didn't understand much of how social media worked, so far she had managed to stay far away from it after all the horror stories about stalking and screenzombies she had heard, artificial friendships, artificial lifestyles, filters, and all that crap. “Well, you can never be a 100% sure I guess, but it's all about the tags right? #artist #painter #art #HarperCocoRobianoDarby “loveofmylife #talentedasfuck #artsavestheworld #girlfriend #love #lover #mywoman” he rattled with a huge smile “look at all those comments! 'wow Jared, she's so talented', 'it's breathtaking, can we see some more work?', 'is it for sale?', 'I have a galery and want to exhibit her work, where can I contact her?”. Dumbfounded she stared at all the messages on the screen as he slowly scrolled through them “I guess you have your answer right there, it's all about you, not about me, you kept your work hidden for far too long” he pushed a kiss in her hair, “huh? You posted it only a couple of minutes ago..so this is social media..it's scary” she stammered while her eyes whizzed over the screen. “No, it's not, it can be fantastic, like right now..in just a few clicks you're famous, people keep asking to see more of your work, look..you keep saying that I'm only trying to flatter you, but this is proof that it's not flattery but the truth, if others are seeing and saying it too”. He felt her go to jelly in his arms while she just stared and stared, “you were right..and your parents are wrong, they always were..wrong not to see and support all that amazing talent their daughter has, wrong because they are too blind and jealous of their own child”.

Harper finally took her eyes off the screen and turned to look at him over her shoulder “and you? What about you?” she whispered, “Me? I was wrong to say all I said about your career, I still don't know why I said it, it must be to do with jealousy as well..jealous because you're gonna have a bigger and better career than I have or could ever have and you did it all with your own talent, which is something I can't always say about myself” his hand caressed her cheek, pushing a kiss on the tip of her nose. What he said about her parents made her pulse race “I want to believe you..I really do, but jealous? My parents? Of me? Why would they be? They're rich diplomats, and their kids need to follow in their footsteps and be all perfect and conservative, not throw some paint around and..”, he immediately stopped her “exactly..but they have no power or control over you, they've probably never had..and that's something they can't stand..I know, because I talked to them after you had left..I called your Dad and..well, I gave them my honest opinion on whose fault it was that there's such bad blood between the two of you”. Harper's eyes grew wide as saucers, had he really done that or was he just saying that to get back into her good books? It wasn't exactly like she could call or contact them and check! “oh..and what did he say?” she raised her eyebrows, “well..ok so I should probably say that I lost my patience and basically called him a cold, heartless idiot if he denies his amazing, talented, wonderful, creative, perfect child just because she follows her dreams and her heart” he scrunched up his nose “I may or may not have said bastard instead of idiot though..hmm, guess that won't score me any points and I can kiss my invitation to the next family barbecue most definitely goodbye, but fuck that! Someone needed to tell him what was up”. He watched her nostrils flare a little while she stared at him with those big, amazing chocolate eyes of hers, oh god no..she wasn't gonna cry, was she? Coco just couldn't hold back any longer and she let her muffled snigger burst out into a hiccuping laughter. She rolled over the mattress clutching her chest “you didn't, you so didn't” she snickered and flapped her eyelashes at him, oh god woman, drive me completely crazy, why don't you? “I did..I'm sorry” there was a sudden shift in energy when her eyes drilled into his looking up at him. “No apologies needed, none whatsoever..” she whispered, he leaned in, he had to, he just was drawn to her like gravity, before she could do or say anything, his lips crashed down on hers.

Demanding, hot, apologetic, reassuring, this kiss was all of the above but most of all it was..needed, it was time to bury the hatchet, she needed to be with this weirdo, this was THE ONE, she didn't even know what that actually was supposed to feel like, but she just felt it in every fibre of her being. Jared felt her deepen the kiss, thank god, please let this war between her and me be over, I don't want to fight anymore, what she did next, had his skin on fire in a split second. Her hand reached for his face, her warm hand caressing his cheek, only to venture southbound over his chest, their lips still glued together when he felt her hands sneaking into his underwear, cupping the perfect round globes of his butt. Reluctantly he disconnected the kiss and closed his eyes, his face still hovering over hers, “what? What is it?” she tapped the tip of his nose to get his attention, what? He didn't want this? “nothing..it's just..” he didn't even open his eyes, he leaned his head back, “it's just what? Jared” she asked anxiously, goddammit..men! Always so unpredictable. When he felt her shift uncomfortably underneath him, he finally looked at her “I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for yet..I just know that if we keep going like this, I'm not gonna be able to stop..” he breathed. Sweet, stupid, considerate, at times unbearably romantic Jared..”who said anything about stopping? I just want this pent-up frustration and anger fucked out of me, and since I can't do that on my own, you'll need to get to work, Leto, and fast before I change my mind” Harper's hands urgently traced down his shoulders, his chest, his abs, her fingers hooking behind the front of his underwear whilst she bit her lip, and looked up at him with those not so innocent bambi eyes. “God, you're not exactly a hopeless romantic, are you? But that's ok, because I prefer my sex-crazed kitten” he grinned, his mouth got to work and bit her shoulder, pulling the strap of her bra down with his teeth, seconds later his warm, hot tongue circled around her hard nipple, touchdown! God yes! She sighed in bliss while her hands ran through his long hair.