#but i can't help but have a voice nag in my head like haha what am i doing w my life..........

[oldyears]

my friends starting to move in with their partners open joint bank accounts think of 5/10/15 year plans with them and i am so !!!!!!! happy of course because i’m glad they’re with someone who can provide them stability and all that but !!!!!!!!!!!!!Azkjhdfkdsjfhgsdkjfg

[fayes-fics]

For the ask game!!

🤔👓🌻

Hi lovely! 🫶

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

Err, no, tbh. Most of my content would never make it past the censors, for a start bwahaha. I think the whole point of fanfic is to explore things that would never work in canon anyway, especially with 'x reader' content, so no, I'm happy over here in my lane.

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

Man, if I knew the answer to this, I would do it all the time when I want to write and just can't. Often, the muse will strike at the worst possible time, like during a work call. Mostly, I need to be in a quiet, comfortable space with my laptop. So I tend to write in my "she shed," which is just my name for my home office, lol. I can't have music on; I need quiet to translate the images I see in my head. I usually need a Coke Zero to keep me going.

🌻 How often do you read your own fics?

Err, almost never. All I see are things I don't like, so it's not a good idea; it demotivates me to continue fulfilling my requests. I'm sure most writers are familiar with that old imposter voice nagging them, saying "Look at that - your writing is terrible, no one wants it". Vast swathes of them I have not touched since my last read-through before posting. Often, readers remember more details about them than I do, which is a bit embarrassing haha.

Thanks for your ask, my dear 😁🧡🧡

Fanfic writer ask game

[cutegirlmayra]

I have a prompt! How about Amy thinking Blaze and Silver make a great couple (I'm thinking this is probably them in canon-verse where they're both amnesiacs about what happened in 06 but privately feel theres a connection between them/ but this could also be them as long-time buddy-pals if you want) and she's determined to be Silver's wing woman. Bonus points if Sonic and Amy place a bet that Amy can't get them together (you decide the terms :P)

(x This is a wallpaper)

If you’re wanting this ‘canon-wise’ I can try my best for Semi-Canon (In-character with slights au events) if you want? (But I can see Amy matchmaking lol)

Prompt:

Due to an abnormality in the ripples of dimensions, Silver journeyed to meet back up with his old Forces friends and met Blaze; who had recently been flung out of her dimension through a masked-menace that the team suspected was the cause of the abnormalities.

Amy had often been along Silver for various reasons in the researching area of the causes, and noticed how awfully friendly and calm the two were around one another… for a first meeting anyway.

“I’ve found some clues that I think might help.” Blaze folded her arms, angling herself a little away from the two.

Her tail flicked as Silver suddenly walked into the room while Amy was placing the footage she had taken into the computer.

“Wow! He’s able to open rifts so… effortlessly! What’s he’s planning on, anyway..?”

Blaze seemed momentarily distracted, her eyes searching his face as if trying to find meaning in her odd fascination with the white hedgehog. A persistent feeling of comradery kept nagging at her heart, but she disregarded it as Amy saw her—from the corner of her eye—turn away from gawking at him a moment with her scanning expression.

“He is rather elusive…” she stole another glance, curiosity and the strange feeling of warmth for him kept her better judgments out of the way.

“Yes…” Amy side-glanced a look at Silver, minding his own business, before holding back a smile and turning her sights on Blaze once more. “He is, isn’t he.”

She turned away as Silver walked by and up to see the footage. “Definitely has to be technology from my world.” His fists clenched, and Blaze’s eyes widened.

Why was this so… familiar? It’s like she knew his mannerisms by heart… She could play him out in her mind… but why?

“But why?”

When Silver suddenly voiced her thought, she looked away, a little unnerved.

Amy saw her tense avoidance, and pressed her lips together… tighter… as if jumping to assumptions…

“If he’s from my world… there isn’t a reason to cause such destruction in other worlds!” Tormented by the present conundrum at hand, Silver shook his head and placed a hand on it for a moment. He then shifted his eyes to Blaze, where he slowly looked up to her face.

She felt his presence piercing into her soul and shyly caught his observant glance.

The two immediately looked away, breaking eye-contact entirely and hurriedly moving on with tasks at hand.

“A-anyway,… I should look over these data charts more closely.” He scrambled to stack some papers Amy had printed out earlier. “I-I have to understand his connection to dimensional shifts and warping through these shifts into other worlds…” He stampeded, something he usually never did unless nervous.

‘But what was he nervous about?’ Amy couldn’t help but leak her restrained grin.

“Good work… Blaze.” Silver turned his back away once the papers were all together; messily… as they were, but together.

He looked slightly over his shoulder, keeping most of his face from her sight.

She also abruptly moved as if on cue with him, stiffly turning around and briskly heading for the door on a fast, marching walk.

“It’s nothing. I’ve been tracking for years. It’s just my duty. I feel embarrassed my skills aren’t what they used to be.” When he stopped… so did she. Holding her head down, she tried to also look over her shoulder but stopped herself.

A mutual quietness held then as if they both tried to break the time-deleted spell that had infused over them and crushed their memory of their extremely tight friendship.

Without it, they may have, in relief, embraced each other after so long being apart.

But in this moment, the feeling to embrace was adamant. But their memory? Gone.

It pulled so intensely, but the awkwardness of a ‘reunion moment’ they didn’t understand not only plagued their social etiquettes but also their minds and hearts…

They swarmed to find answers, but neither mind nor heart spoke out the answers they were seeking…

“…Good luck.” Silver finally broke the silence, giving up on hoping something would relieve him of his tug-o-war.

“… You too.”

The two held a minute longer. A silent plea for one last attempt at a reply from their being to make sense of this moment and feeling.

Nothing.

“I’ll try and collect more evidence. Amy.” Blaze nodded and looked ahead, trying to fixate her mind on other things.

Silver looked to the floor, as Amy heard the door shut and spun in her chair.

“Okay! Talk!” She excitedly held her hands out and shook them around. “What was THAT?!”

“W-what?” Startled from his depressing-feeling, he saw the papers fly everywhere around him. He held frozen as Amy watched, her excitement never dissipating, at all the papers slowly flapping down through the air.

“Oh, come on! You two clearly have some kind of a connection!”

“C-connection?” Innocent to her words, he suddenly took a more serious stance and hoped Amy would explain what she meant. “What do you mean, connection?”

An excited squee escaped Amy’s lips and she jumped up and down in her chair rhythmically. “I’ve always wanted to see two people falling in love!” She admitted out loud, then clasped her hands together and spun slowly once more in an interval within her chair, letting it do the work of inertia. “And now I see the spark firsthand!”

“The.. spark?” He suddenly realized her accusation and sprung upward, holding himself in the air as he used his powers to frantically avoid her and pick up the papers. “N-nonsense, Amy! T-that can’t be right!”

“Well~ What do you think it is!?” Amy giggled, hands on her lap as she wouldn’t be deterred from her speculation.

“…I had this strange feeling…” Silver looked up as if lost in his own thoughts… feeling he should be honest about it all.

Amy excitedly bounced her shoulders left and right. “Like you knew them all their life?” She dreamily lowered her eyelids as she watched him to say more.

“…Yes.”  Silver clutched the already formed stack in his hands as other papers flew into his hand. His face, far too serious for the topic Amy was thinking of. “Like… I could trust her. As if she was my… partner.”

He had thought Amy screeched, startled even further in the air when she leaped up and grabbed his floating feet.

“Like you’re walking on air!? HAHA!” she danced a moment, making him even more confused.

“N-no…” He reached out for her, before seeing his feet off the ground. “…Oh.” Seeing where she logically may have gotten that idea from, but not entirely what the phrase stands for, he lowered himself embarrassingly back to the floor, looking away.

“Amy, please. You’re making this out a little falsely here… I just felt like I’ve known her or something. Like… we were somehow… close.” He fiddled with the papers. “I can’t explain it… I haven’t met her in my dimension… so there’s no way I could know her… But…”

“But..?~” Amy twirled, slowing down and stopping to look back at him, arching her back like a lovesick looney.

He looked at her with the most tender and innocent eyes….

“I… This feels almost like I’ve missed someone… someone close to me… and had to let them go… only to be seeing them again.”

“…Awho.” Amy cooed, pressing her hands to her chest. She ran up to Silver, taking his arms since his hands were full.

“H-hey..” Silver, nervously, shook left and right to view her oddly placed hands, and then leaned away from her, one foot pulling back while the other tried to slide away.

“Then we’re both soldiers on our path!” She dramatically stated.

“S-soldiers?”

“I’ll help you, Silver! I’ll make sure you get a sweet moment with Blaze!” she then winked, “She’s a princess you know… you tiger!” she lightly threw a fist into his arm but it caused him to stumble.

“T-tiger?… Hold on, Amy… wait!” He was too slow.

Reaching for her, the door had already closed before he realized she didn’t understand him at all.

“I… Oh…” He lowered the hand in disappointment. “Please don’t put yourself out of the way to do something embarrassing… or worse,…. Make it awkward.” He shook his head, having the last of the papers and closing his eyes in a silent prayer for peace.

But Amy was anything BUT a casual gal…

She was an avid planner.

“And then I said I’d help.” Amy finished her plate as Sonic poked around his bowl, keeping his head down.

“And you’re sure he said that.” Sonic, in a bit of skeptical disbelief, looked up at her without moving his head.

“As sure you’re blue.” She quickly chimed back, lifting her head up and closing her eyes. “Now… how to get them alone together..?”

Sonic sighed and let his head drop, leaning up from the table. “Amy… Something tells me you shouldn’t meddle in his business.” Sonic ran his hands through his quills, already seeing Amy playing matchmaker.

“Ohh, but why not? He didn’t oppose…” She looked innocently away. “That’s basically begging me for help!”

“…You shouldn’t judge by those standards.” Sonic leaned back in the chair and dropped his hands, eyeing her a new one. “You should leave it be.” He finally stated.

“Ohhh! You’re no fun!” she popped the spoon into her mouth and tapped her foot, closing her eyes again. “Hmmmm…” she held a long tune before Sonic sighed softly, and then leaned forward to swipe the spoon out of her mouth.

“Ah! Hey!”

“I mean it.” He tossed it by her bowl, placing his arms on the table. “You already planned your whole life. Do you really have to plan everyone else's?” he smiled, teasing her, but still trying to make a point.

She thought a moment….

“Honestly, Sonic. I already told you.” She started, then leaned forward to speak directly to his face. “I’ve got the wedding down. You’ve just gotta show up and smile.” She beamed.

He immediately gave her a no-nonsense frown.

“…If the smile’s too much to ask for, I’ll just take you and those spit-shined red shoes.” She gestured her eyes down and smiled even more charmingly up to him.

He rolled his eyes, moving away.

He placed a hand under his head and leaned on it, lifting a leg up to his knee and letting it tap in the air.

He had given up trying…

Once her mind is set on something, nothing could change that.

“Silence means you’ll be there.~” Amy sprang a quiet tune as she stated that, turning away as if to mimic him but keeping her feet down.

“Now… a perfectly romantic and secluded spot… Ah-ha! I got it!” She slapped the table. “Sonic! I bet you by this time tonight, the two will be in each other’s arms!”

Sonic scoffed to the side. “Heh!”

“I mean it!” Amy gave him a pout back.

“Like nothin’ you will…” Sonic got up, smacking the table to give one last offensive-fighting words to her and her ‘plans’ before walking away.

“Hmmrh. Hmph!” Amy rose up. “If I do-!”

Sonic slowed his pace, turning his head to have his ear listen to whatever this next silliness was…

“..I-if I do, then… Then you’ll embrace me too!” She put her hands stiffly to the side.

“…Heh.” Sonic smirked, scoffing once again at her. “When pig’s fly, Amy.”

“Oh! Would you just-! It’s a bet then?” Amy put her hands to her hips. “That means you have to watch with me!” She shouted out a little louder than Sonic would have hoped.

He bent to his knees and hushed her, motioning his hands down respectively to do so, and looking to make sure no one was around. “Amy..! … ugh. Sure. If you get those lovebirds together, I’ll give you a lasting hug!” He said half-heartedly, still teasing her and flipping his arm out to show he had no faith it would work. “Going off of all your other schemed… planned dates alike, this won’t last more than a day!” He snickered under his breath, trying to make sure no one was listening to them. “Good luck, Amy.”

“Hmph, I’ll show him!” She gathered up their dishes. “I’ll show him that I can too make a perfect date!”

The time came and Blaze was told a special meeting about her latest information on the jumping-culprit needed further questioning and was making her way into the room.

Silver halted by the nicely set table, candles all lit with food already prepared in the pitch black room. “Umm…” He had gotten their moments before her.

She paused, surveyed the area, and then placed a hand on her hip. “A little fancy for a meeting… Did Amy set this up?”

“It… does seem to be her style.” Silver sweat-dropped awkwardly, before looking back at the table. “There seems to be only two chairs… wasn’t Amy attending?”

“Hmm… you’re right.” Blaze came a little more forward, standing beside him. “It would look like she was trying to set-up dinner, let alone a meeting.”

“I would have to confess that that decisive reasoning does seem more accurate…” He took a seat and then gestured for her to do the same. “Regardless of Amy’s fancies,… should we begin?”

“Hmm. Umm... Yes. We should discuss what needs to be clarified. At least… to the best of my abilities.” Blaze gracefully took her seat, as the two began to talk business.

“Ohhh! Why are they both so serious!?” Amy whispered through the crack of an adjacent door.

Sonic leaned on the wall, watching her hunch over and peek inside, and shaking his head as his arms came up in a shrug. “You’ve lost it, Amy. Spying on other people’s affairs… trying to start one… So, is this what you resort to when you’ve nothing else to do but wait for your ‘plans’ to work out for ya?” He adjusted his gloves, pulling them tighter before sticking a toe up and hunching down to mock her, thinking it funny.

“Shhsh! Not like you’re to blame.” She stuck her tongue out at him, and waved a hand for him to stop or come closer, he wasn’t sure which cue it was.

Rolling his eyes, he squatted down and shook his head. “I’m not one for butting in on other people’s affairs.” He seemed less than amused by this game.

“Shhh! Keep your voice down and get in here!” she was referring to him sticking his head to look in at the two.

Sonic just sighed but gave in to ‘proving her wrong’ and looked through the crack, moving under her frame, before narrowing his eyes. “They’re not embracing.” He bluntly stated.

“Look harder!” Amy nudged him and made him a little annoyed, leading to him moving away, standing upright, and peeking above her head.

“That’s incredible! With that kind of device replicated… we could track him through his dimensional jumps and stop him from corrupting each world’s order! To think… he couldn’t rule his own dimension… so he jumped into every other one and kicked the leading figure of authority out to claim his own greed… We’ll stop him!” Silver’s sense of justice came to him as he held up his fist.

“You sure get passionate about doing what’s right,… don’t you?” She smiled, tilting her head.

“…Uhh… I’ve always been like this… for as long as I can remember.” He grew self-conscious and placed his hands together, slouching a bit. “Silly, I know… but it’s who I am. I can’t let injustice go unpunished…”

“…I may not vocalize it,… but I agree with your sentiments.” She nodded to him, and the two held a look for a moment.

Immediately, Blaze’s eyes shifted and she looked away.

“..Blaze.. there’s something else I’d actually like to discuss with you about…” Silver held a grave tone, swallowing, and unsure how to go about this.

Blaze listened in, turning her attention back to him.

“Here we go!” Amy excitedly wagged her tail, which made Sonic look behind him, then look up as if the most ridiculous situation on earth was happening at this very moment, and he was being dragged into it.

He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, moving away. “Ooookay, that’s enough eavesdropping.” He tried to pull her away. “Come on, Amy. Enough’s enough.”

“W-wait, wait! He’s about to say it!”

“Sure he is, Amy.”

“I’ve felt like this for a long time now…”

“……..”

Sonic released Amy, his eyes widened in a bit of perplexed shock.

“Silver?” Blaze tilted her head again and held an equally confused expression, not sure where he was getting at.

“… I’ve felt some form of… missing you. Like I’ve known you for a long time, though we’ve only recently met. I can predict what you’re about to do, what you’ll say… what you’re even thinking sometimes… At first, I thought it could be my abilities enhancing… but I can’t do that with other people. It’s just you. Strange as it sounds… and I know it sounds very… well, odd.. but hear me out, I’m-!”

“N-no! I… understand…” Blaze was amazed at how much emotion she just showed by reaching out and stopping him as he seemed to get flustered.

She moved away, turning to the edge of the table and looking down at the floor. “It’s like a longing… to greet an old friend again… But I have no idea where it sprung from. It’s just…”

They both looked at each other.

“…There.”

“…Could you say it?” He nodded lightly, “What… well, what I think you’re about to say.”

“….About what?” she knew exactly what he meant.

He smiled, letting some air go and release some tension from his body.

“About how much this looks like Amy thinking theirs something more between us.” He lightly chuckled at the fact.

“…Isn’t there?”

He blushed.

“B-but not in the way A-Amy was-!”

“Haha! Oh, Silver…” Her true personality came in at once, teasing him like this… it felt like a breath of fresh air as if she missed this…

He waited, anxious for her to say it.

“I know.” He admitted.

She got up, the same time as him.

“You’re so naïve.”

Silver, as fast as instinct, used his power to float the table away from blocking the two of them as they rushed into a long-awaited embrace.

“I don’t know why this feeling is here.” Silver admitted, holding her close as she dug her head into his shoulder, breathing heavily as to control her emotions.

“But I feel like… whatever it is… it shouldn’t be ignored any longer.”

“Heh.” she smiled wider. “I agree.”

Sonic’s jaw about hit the floor, taking everything they said in the wrong way.

Amy looked up to Sonic, both not realizing the erased memories of a long forgotten realm and adventure.

“Told ya.” She piped up, giddy as a bumblebee when Sonic moved her away from the door and held her tightly in a strong embrace.

“You weren’t kidding.” He huffed out a nervous chuckle. “But you have to admit, for a confession, that was weird.”

“Ohh~ Doesn’t that make it even better?” She turned her face to wiggle into his hold even deeper, crushing her arms against his back to pull him closer, making him sweatdrop again. “Let funny people have their weird, awkward moments together, Sonic! It’s what makes life worth living!”

“Ugh… I’m letting it happen, alright.” Sonic had already let her go, but with the hold Amy had him in, there was no way he was keeping this to a ‘brief’ moment…

(I enjoyed this story :)c Thanks for letting me do more of a canon-central story!)

[mild-lunacy]

It seems to be a constant throughout history: In every period, people believed things that were just ridiculous, and believed them so strongly that you would have gotten in terrible trouble for saying otherwise.

This probably annoys and frustrates me the most about fandom, and why I often take (long) breaks, like the current one. It’s not about people being wrong. I don’t care about that, so much. It’s people being ridiculous, so misguided they’re outright delusional about basic facts (usually but not always about canon), and then morally self-righteous about it.

I’m a person who’s self-aware in that I know I’m driven by my beliefs. I’m not some kind of objective paragon, but my point is that I make some minor effort to think about things rationally, regardless of the fashion or alternatively, the opinions of people around me. And all around me, I see people straight-up repeating and disseminating pure, grade A bullshit, here on Tumblr.com.

And that alone isn’t enough to get me angry or alienated, as I am. It’s the fact that this bullshit, 9 times out of 10, is actually widely accepted and considered inviolate and beautiful truth, which must be defended through call-outs and ostracism and harsh words, etc etc. That is like bullshit riding on top of bullshit, except it’s also dangerous and pernicious to the extreme. This is not some mild stuff. This is serious cultural rot, some of the most disturbing stuff about human nature, and it’s all around us. I’m not kidding.

In this case, of course, fandom is like a microcosm of the wider society. Society is driven by misinformation and propaganda, and dissent is not welcome for all the lip service to free speech, and so it is in fandom. People don’t know how to disagree. People don’t even realize that those who disagree are not mortal enemies, on one level. People genuinely believe things that are outright false because they want to (ie, headcanons) and then ostracize people with equal and opposite (but equivalently ridiculous) headcanons. It’s essentially a political dystopian farce come to life. 

I can’t help thinking about this in terms of fandom:

Let's start with a test: Do you have any opinions that you would be reluctant to express in front of a group of your peers? 

If the answer is no, you might want to stop and think about that. If everything you believe is something you're supposed to believe, could that possibly be a coincidence? Odds are it isn't. Odds are you just think whatever you're told.

Because it’s quite obvious to me that there’s a lot of opinions that are unspeakable, even in this context, where the stakes are low. Just saying that Ronan Lynch is white (which is just a basic, basic fact) might give people some kind of aneurysm. I don’t really consider stopping myself from saying whatever I want, if carefully (which I’ve always done), but yeah, I’m always reluctant to stir up that sort of thing. That is deeply disturbing to me. Even I, who’s like a dissenter born and bred (I mean, I’m literally descended from hardcore atheist, communist revolutionaries) can’t help but feel that social pressure. The need to somehow get along, you know. Not antagonize. And I know how easily that translates into simply... not saying difficult things. Because why should I? What would it help? It’s easy to think like that.

The statements that make people mad are the ones they worry might be believed. I suspect the statements that make people maddest are those they worry might be true.

This is an interesting thing to consider. I guess the reason people get pissed off when you disagree with a popular misreading/headcanon or popular fandom mores is basically because people aren’t sure. We repeat things and insist on things because they’re not certain, not because they are. So on some level, those people who insist Ronan is actually black do so because they need to talk over that little nagging voice in the back of their heads that knows that’s incorrect. And they can’t deal with that at all. So they must ensure conformity and prevent people from even thinking wrong, so that they don’t influence others. After all, a lie is always fragile. The truth doesn’t usually need to be defended: simply being known is enough.

I’m not really a fan of labeling almost anything as ‘inappropriate’ in a broad sense, but I do realize that careless words hurt people’s feelings. I do think one should consider other people’s perspectives and needs. But this isn’t about that. In a broad sense, the truth can never be altered on the basis of inconveniencing or hurting anyone. You can communicate the truth more or less subtly, kindly or effectively, and you can (and should) criticize the facts as they stand, but pretending that the medium is the message seems counterproductive.

I suspect the biggest source of moral taboos will turn out to be power struggles in which one side only barely has the upper hand. That's where you'll find a group powerful enough to enforce taboos, but weak enough to need them.

I definitely think this is interesting. We’re in a period of rapid social change, and there’s definitely that sense of concurrent strength and weakness. Strength in part due to the internet, for a lot of groups (especially in fandom), and weakness due to real life limitations and injustices. This creates a toxic brew of resentment and propaganda that I’m concerned and frustrated about. Still, there’s another point to consider, as well:

When you find something you can't say, what do you do with it? My advice is, don't say it. Or at least, pick your battles.

Overall, I agree that it’s better to learn to think more deeply and critically than it is to pick fights with people, especially fights you’re not going to win. I definitely wouldn’t advocate that. I definitely think that arguing with deluded people on the internet is a waste of anyone’s time. I’m frustrated to be sure, but this is why I’m not interested in joining the fray. I’m interested in reinforcing my own commitment to question everything and take nothing for granted, especially if the belief has real consequences. That’s the best I-- or anyone else-- can do.

Better to harass them with arrows from a distance. 

One way to do this is to ratchet the debate up one level of abstraction. If you argue against censorship in general, you can avoid being accused of whatever heresy is contained in the book or film that someone is trying to censor. You can attack labels with meta-labels: labels that refer to the use of labels to prevent discussion.

This is the first time I’ve seen someone describe my own tactics as reasonable, by the way. I do this all the time. That’s what I meant by being ‘careful’: I ratchet up my level of abstraction, and so most people generally ignore me. Hell, I bet you’re all doing that right now, haha.