#but i can't decide whether i want to actually schedule sooner than planned or just wait until my next pre-scheduled appt in november

[lunarlesbeing]

Ughhhh so way back at the end of last year I went for a regular check in with my psychiatrist and she was concerned about my heart rate being really rapid so that office basically just set me up the same day with the first regular doctor they could find that had an opening, I ended up wearing a heart rate monitor for a week and it confirmed that I have frequent racing heart but it’s otherwise normal rhythm. She changed me to a different medication (both the old and new meds are non-stimulant options for ADHD) to see if it was a side effect from the other one and nothing changed so she’s told me the last few times I’ve seen her that I should schedule a follow up just to check in on it again. (I’m hoping once I do I can get the clear to go back on the other med because it worked better and I really don’t think it was ever a factor with my heart tbh, I'm just anxious as fuck and also have hEDS/dysautonomia)

I’ve been putting it off because I’ve been super overwhelmed just in general (and also the new med doesn't do as much for executive dysfunction which doesn't help) but finally went to schedule something today. I actually was thinking of just seeing the same doctor as last time for the sake of continuity (and I don't normally like male doctors but he was actually pretty chill) but could only find him currently listed for a center a few towns over (my local hospital has a bunch of connected offices and it’s one of them but further than I was hoping to drive if I can avoid it) so I figured I’d try first with the doctor I’ve seen for other things in the past. But when I called they said she was booked up and I was like “yeah that’s fine I haven’t seen her in awhile” and agreed to see someone else with more availability.

But then when they asked what the appointment was for they were apparently super confused by my explanation (probably because of how much time has passed tbh) and ended up putting me on hold while they tried to figure it out and then said they’d call me back when they got more details from my psychiatrist and the other doctor I saw (who apparently might actually be practicing at the main center but just wasn’t listed there? Which would make things easier but it wasn’t really clear) about what they actually wanted me to do but I never heard back from them before the end of the day so…hopefully they call me back tomorrow? Ugh it sucks though, I get so much phone anxiety even under the best of circumstances so this is literally like my nightmare scenario, I had to have a stress cry about it once I got off even though the receptionist was super nice the whole time

[boba-beom]

❦ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 | TXT OT5

pairing: txt x gn!reader

genre: fluff!!| headcanons

warning(s): situationships, endearing terms, jealousy, a lot of physical affection, mentions of cuddling, light hearted teasing, tiniest bit suggestive, mentions of kisses, mentions of making out, mentions of arguments, mentions of food, lowercase intended. let me know if I've missed anything!

wc: 1.5k

a/n: happy valentine's day angels, here's a little thing I decided to post sooner than later :>

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 — it's ironic how the both of you grew closer after he tried to help you score a date with one of his friends, after spending so much time planning things out, you eventually grew fond of him and his squeaky laughs that only you've heard. at one point, he admitted that he was becoming hesitant whilst helping you with his friend because he was jealous that all you would talk about is him, but ever since he gained your full undivided attention; he's shown you so much affection, showing you how much he cares for you.

at times when your schedules matched up, he would come by to your apartment and find you busying yourself with uni work / working on your laptop. he assumed you hadn't eaten yet and he assumed right. he's usually the chef when he comes around, cooking you good food, making sure you're eating well to gain energy to study.

when you're going out together to run errands—or just randomly wanting to leave the apartment— both of you unintentionally, or intentionally, wear either matching or complimenting outfits. he's so tall compared to you, you would have your arm linked with his. when you stop in the middle of your walk, he rests his chin on the top of your head, his hands rubbing your shoulders with such gentle movements, people may even mistaken you for a happy couple.

however, there's been times when soobin has been asked to join his friends when they go out. you waive off the offer to come with, suggesting that he should have time to explore and meet new people. it's just that deep down, you're his home. his comfort.

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 — you both met during college and after getting to know him through those years, you basically know everything about each other. even down to the smallest detail. yes, yeonjun is extremely attractive and you never thought he'd feel the same about you, but after sharing a spontaneous kiss one night, when it was a just-in-the-moment thing, both of you can't get away from each other.

you hang out a lot, whether it be with your mutual group of friends or just the two of you alone. when it comes to a group hangout you're always sat so close to one another, him cupping his hand on the side of his mouth as he whispers something totally unrelated to the situation, emitting giggles out of you, sometimes even lightly smacking his arm with the back of your palm.

"hey guys, don't you think jjun and y/n would be a really cute couple?" one of your friends would speak out, but you both look at each other and shrug it off with a chesty laugh. every one of your friends are aware that there's something going on between the both of you, but neither of you were bold enough to say it how it is. why is that? you're aware of the people who are into yeonjun, who wouldn't be? he's talented, charming, and very easy-going, yet he's just so attached to you.

you would sometimes find him casually wrapping his arm over your shoulder—which is fair enough, that's what friends do right? but having him kiss your forehead and then your shoulder every time he gets up to leave your side says otherwise. just being satisfied with how your current situation is with him meant that there was no need to change anything about that, maybe it's the fact that you've grown accustomed to your routine.

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐠𝐲𝐮 — you actually used to find beomgyu unbearable. he was constantly on your nerves ever since your best friend and their partner decided to have a huge hang out with both your friend group and theirs. although he was the first to talk to you from the other group, he was also the first to fold after getting to know you a little more.

it started with him light-heartedly insulting you upon your first meeting, to him genuinely making you laugh, then to him asking for your socials, to him randomly messaging you at unusual times—late night was not as bad, but at the dusk of dawn was interesting. and now he randomly comes over to chill in your room or take you out for a drive around the outskirts of the city.

apart from his comedic persona, he can be very much protective over you. when you tell him you have somewhere to go late in the evening, he'd be on your ass asking questions left, right and centre. you admit you found it annoying, you weren't anything more than friends, heck you two literally disliked each other from the start and now he's here nagging you about the dangers of other people and their intentions with you.

it would lead to arguments, screaming at each other until he sighs and kisses you to shut up. "you're so stubborn sometimes." is what he'd say, breathless in between each kiss. "oh, and you're not? you're so annoying." is what you would proceed to tell him, tugging the collar of his shirt to draw him closer as possible. and to think this happens often yet this is just your dynamic. no one's aware that you spend so much time together, never mind knowing about whether you two have kissed or not. some times you even surprise yourself and turn these heavy kisses into make out sessions, in which you act like the argument never happened when you wake up in the same bed the next morning.

𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐭𝐚𝐞𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧 — your favourite tsundere. you were somehow drawn to his aura, despite him being quite closed off. not knowing what he's thinking in the given moment, nor whether he even likes you or not. he was just an interesting character to be around. you weren't too sure when you grew comfortable with each other.

however, you started to notice something during summer last year. you had a picnic with your group of friends at the park, and the sun setting caused the breeze to get a little chilly. you were laughing along with the rest of your friends until you felt the warmth of someone else's jacket placed over your shoulders—it was taehyun's of course. he never said anything, just placed it on you and continued participating in whatever group conversation was going on.

you notice it more as time passes, surprisingly still really close with him. you soon came to accept you just have this unspoken routine of him accommodating you with whatever it is you need without having to say anything, or you giving him that physical affection that he secretly enjoys.

cuddling on the sofa has become one of your most recent habits, him sitting with his legs stretched out along the length of the sofa, and you situated between his legs while his chin rests on either your head or your shoulder. his hands would always be fiddling with the string of his hoodie—that you've stolen at this point since he keeps giving you his outerwear to wear.

you would point out attractive people on the t.v and joke around a little, "i think you should start dating again, tyun." "ah, i'll pass. i like how things are now." and he wouldn't trade that for the world.

𝐇���𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐤𝐚𝐢 — the sweetest guy you have met and he's still just as sweet. the both of you are around each other so often you've started to pick up each other's habits and mannerisms, that even when you're apart, people can sense that you've spent so much time together.

he's someone you can definitely call your life-long friend, but you weren't in the mentality about settling down with someone. kai was super understanding of your decision and he was always there when you needed him, coming by your place and bring you plushies that he doesn't really need anymore. that's only because he thinks you need that sense of comfort more than he does.

you reciprocate those intentions, offering him to go on long walks at your nearby park. even sitting on the hill, peering over the rest of the park below, and having your temple lean on the comfort of his broad shoulder. there's times he'd push you until you're staring up at the sky, and you yank the hood of his puffer coat so you're both giggling side by side. the next second you end up attempting to picture what you see in the clouds.

there are times where the both of you are in your own world when you're over at his dorm. not that you hide away in his room, but you're both sitting on the ground, backs leaning against the foot of the sofa while the rest of his friends take over the seats of the sofas. yet, that doesn't bother you because you're having the time of your life with kai. there's no room to complain about discomfort when he's squishing his cheek on your temple, holding his phone between the both of you as you endlessly scroll on tiktok together. sometimes he'd place a gentle peck where his cheek once laid, though it's something you're so used to, it still pulls an involuntary smile on your face.

taglist: @bb-eilish @iggynor4 @ericyjun @bluejin0812 @luvsoobs @yeonyeonyeonjun @junniieesbby @kyrkitten  @hyuntaena @day6andetcetera @amethysts-1620 @gorechoi-backup @dainsleif-when-playable @choiwrld @yjusei @feyregels @ahnneyong @potaeto-writes-on-wp @wccycc @lizdevorak  @fairybin @laylasbunbunny @acaiasahi @ttyunz @cha0thicpisces @fairybinie @vatterie @yunkiwii @prodsh00ky @ashxxgyu @onlyforgaeul @aprilisque @ja4hyvn (taglist form here)

© boba-beom ; all rights reserved. do not repost, copy, alter or translate in any way or platform.

[onebangtanstan]

Power Style - Chapter Eleven : The revenge

A/N : Ok this is shorter than the previous chapters but DYNAMITE CAME OUT so that's what I've been doing. GO STREAM! 💜

He notices me staring him down. He scoffs before coming my way. We lock eyes and start an unspoken staring contest, just like the other day. As he's getting closer to me, I feel the muscles in my body tense up. His presence is enough to piss me off.

"You're late Namjoon." He's now standing right in front of me, forcing me to look up.

"It's M.Kim to you." His eyes are shooting bullets at mine, and so are mine, but neither of us looks away. We're both way too proud to do so.

"I don't have time for this." I turn away from him, starting to feel dizzy from keeping my head up to look at him. "Go get your make up and fitting done, we're all waiting for you Namjoon." I refuse to give into his twisted game, we're here to get a job done, whether we like it or not.

He executes himself, but I sense he's not happy with that. We can all see that he's stalling, and trying to annoy us. Thank God my team knows what they're doing and isn't giving into him either. 

We can finally start the shoot an hour and a half after the original time. He stands in front of the camera, and I don't recognize the man posing right now. He turns into this extremely professional guy. The harsh lines he usually wears on his face have completely disappeared, making him look even better than usually.

Even though he annoys the shit out of me, I have to admit that he is a beautiful man. He's the stereotype of the ideal guy : tall, well-built, perfect amount of muscle, a jawline that could cut you. Even when he's the biggest asshole, his clenched jaw and frown make him look good.

To my surprise, we actually finish the shoot quite quickly. The team packs up and starts heading back to the office. I'm about to do the same when I'm turned around by a firm hand on my arm. I am facing Namjoon once again. I mean, I am being towered by him once again.

"Listen to me" He spits, talking only a few centimeters from my mouth. "It's the last time you talk to me like that, do you understand me?"

I set myself free from his grip by throwing my arm down. "No, you listen to me." I feel the fury raising in my body. "We have to work together, and I couldn't care less if you don't like me. The thing is, I am in charge of this campaign so you're on my turf now. You listen to me and do what I say. Am I making myself clear enough for your tiny brain?" 

It looks like he wasn't expecting this reaction from me. He's about to answer but I immediately turn around and start storming out of the room.

I walk back to the office, feeling the need to clear my mind. I can't have him disturbing my schedule, and I most definitely can't go into the meeting with the mindset he put me in.

By the time I get back to work, the whole team is already sitting in the conference room, working on the editing. We do that all afternoon and plan the group shooting for the next day. We're going to have to take unit pictures, group pictures and shoot the commercial. We will be there all day, so I let everyone go early to get enough rest for tomorrow.

I decide to chill at home for the evening. I still have a bit of a bad mood because of today, so I put on yet another cheesy rom-com.

Just as I sit down with a bowl of popcorn, I receive a text from Jin. For once, I don't have that tightening in my stomach. I open it :

J : Hey, how are you doing? We haven't talked lately..

G : Hi! I'm good, how about  you? I know, I'm sorry, I had a lot going on..

J : No worries, I've just been thinking a lot about you..

We end up texting the whole evening, catching each other up on our lives, and it feels really good. We eventually start talking about deeper stuff. Jin tells me that he really likes me and can't stop thinking about me, making me blush. Thank God he can't see me right now. I start typing and send a text without thinking too much about it. I have to give him something.

"Jin I need to tell you something. One of the reasons I have been distant with you is because I have issues with relationships. I'll explain it to you eventually but not by text. I hope you understand that it has nothing to do with you, and that I appreciate the time we spend together."

A few minutes -that feel like an hour- pass before he answers, making my heart pound. 

"That's okay Gina, I understand. I'll go at your pace." I smile at his text.

We say our goodnights and I end up falling asleep with a warm feeling inside of me.

I wake up in a good mood, but the group shot pops into my mind, bringing my mindset down just a bit. I feel very pressured and anxious about it. Everything has to go perfectly, because we won’t have time to redo it.

I do the usual, get ready and head to the set. I stop on my way to get a cup of coffee and also get a big bag of french pastries for everyone. We'll be needing a bit of sugar before the day starts.

The boys haven't arrived yet, but we are already going through the schedule for the day. I talk with each person to make sure they know what they're supposed to do. Of course they do, I'm just doing that to calm my nerves.

Tae and Kook are the first to arrive. They're very clingy towards each other which makes me smile at them.

"Hey guys" I say as I hug each of them. "How are you guys doing?"

"We're very good." Tae tells me, making Jungkook blush. My heart could burst, they're so cute. I haven't gotten to a point where I can talk to them about whatever is going on between them, but I feel like that will be coming up sooner than later.

"Perfect. I need you all in a good mindset today."

"Well, we'll see about that." Jungkook starts, making me raise an eyebrow. "Yoongi is riding with Hobi and Jin, he spent the night there. And to be honest, we never know what to expect from those sleepovers, especially about where their minds are set."

Tae elbows Jungkook in the arm, making him realize he spilled something he shouldn't have. He opens his eyes wide.

"Shit" He says, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"It's ok, I had figured something was going on there. I won't pry, don't worry." I wink at them. 

I notice relief on their faces. I offer them to get something to eat before getting their makeup done, making Jungkook run towards the bags of pastries. 

While they're picking out what to eat, I hear the door open. Jimin enters the room and boy, does he make head turns. He has that je ne sais quoi about him that makes his presence noticed. He barely looks at anyone, heading straight for Tae and Kook. I see him take a pastry, only eating a few bites, and leaving towards the toilet straight after. "JIMIN" Tae starts running after him.

I quickly look away, feeling that I shouldn’t be witnessing whatever is going on, and notice the door open. Yoongi, Jin and Hobi enter. Jin is first, and comes straight to me, giving me a warm hug. It feels good to be circled by his big arms. He breaks the hug with a peck on my forehead. There must be an army of butterflies in my stomach at this point.

Hobi comes in for a hug next, being his usual charming self, but something is off. The spark in his eye is not there. It almost looks as if he's cried? I hold on tight to him, sending some love through my arms. I feel him sigh. 

"Fancy a drink tonight?" I ask him. He needs someone, I can feel it.

"I would love that." He speaks in a low, appreciative voice. I can see his eyes twitch for a second.

"Your coat is amazing!" I quickly change the subject, sensing he's about to breakdown. He smiles back at me and goes to say hi to the boys.

Yoongi, who was already with them, came towards me as Hobi arrived. Shit, there's going to be tension today.

"Hi Gina" Yoongi is near me now, and he looks.. Well, he looks like himself. Nothing is being let through by his face, nor his eyes.

"Hey! How are you?" I ask, trying to hide the fact that I know something is wrong.

"Okay, I guess.." 

We both turn our heads as we hear Jimin's voice coming from the other side of the room.

"V, I said let it go!" 

Tae walks behind him, arms hanging on each side of his body, a powerless look on his face. All the boys turn around to him with an empathetic smile, almost as if they were telling him « it’s okay, you did your best ». They seem know the struggle he’s just gone through. The whole crew is looking at them too, which is exactly what Jimin wanted. He knew that by coming in here, the conversation would stop.

"The only one that could talk to him right now is Joon" Yoongi tells me. I scoff, having trouble seeing Namjoon comforting someone. Yoongi turns to me "He's actually lovely to the people he cares about. He helped me through a lot."

"Yeah, well he made it clear that he doesn't care about me or even about making my life easier."

Yoongi is about to answer, but a loud bang resonates. It's the front door.

Namjoon appears with his leg still in the air. Everyone has stopped what they were doing to stare him down for kicking the door open.

But I couldn't care less about that. I've noticed something else. Something that could fuck up the entire shoot. 

Seeing it sends me in a state of rage so intense that I clench my fists, feeling my nails press into my palms. He stands tall in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. He's proud of himself, and he's now looking at me with a defying smile.

HE IS FUCKING SMILING AT ME. I am dumbfounded by the nerve this man has.

It might not seem like a big deal for everyone else, but I know that he did this on purpose to delay the shoot as payback for what I said yesterday.

He dyed his hair white.

A/N : White-hair Namjoon is back. Hands down his best era, no argument on that (second best, now that we have Blue Namjoon)

I mean LOOK AT HIM.

[frogsandfries]

Pretty solid day

Cleaned up two and a half frames, finished filling a third, swatched out a fourth, scheduled a bunch of posts to the WordPress to catch that up and added a few more posts to the queue on my Tumblr. Man, my Tumblr is getting queued out till like October, going on November, and it's getting a little tedious to page through the calendar like that. But it definitely would be cool to get to the end of this year this soon. I'm pretty sure if I can keep up this kind of pace, moving up next year to twice weekly new content will be really rewarding.

Scheduling posts on WordPress is one part a pain in the butt and the other part, not so much but still. I really hate that it's such a process, but hey, it remembers and alphabetizes my tags. Plus, if I really work with it, I can probably get the click-through effect that I want, as well as building the vibe that I'd like to have. Wildbow's has a table of contents and you can click to the next page.

Oh, and I started to link some of the newer posts. It's hard to link a post that isn't live yet. I swear I remember being able to do that, but I don't think Tumblr allows that anymore?? That would save me so much hassle.

So yeah, the power to the property is going to be shut off tomorrow for a good chunk of the day, but I would still like to put a good number of items in the WordPress queue, as well as continue with cleaning up frames. I'm really really glad that I can work from my phone and tablet, rather than needing to be plugged into the wall. I don't really know why, but I also feel like I should keep putting a good effort into my lineworks. I mean, getting my lineworks well ahead of my colorwork definitely leaves time for me to think about if the scenes make sense, if there's enough detail or not, gives me time to decide if frames need to be rearranged. I only had so many frames originally thumbnailed, and eventually, I'm going to run to the end of these frames--as a matter of fact, my thumbnails only go to the scene when we first meet Kitty's roommate, and this probably doesn't matter to the casual reader of this blog, but I've only inked to the part where Kitty and grandpa are leaving the house, and I'm penciling......oh yeah, I'm currently penciling the scene where Kitty and her grandpa arrive at the school. I got really excited to update the scene that I find funny/humorous/amusing just before Kitty interacts with the doorman.

Once I reach the end of the frames I've already thumbnailed, once I've come to the end of material that I've already had the opportunity to see and reflect on and think about, I'm going to want just a little more leeway to work out the scenes that I can't currently, literally see. I'm going to want the time to see them as they occur in my head, and work out whether or not that works, and I'm going to need the valuable time that is going to take to improve the scenes before committing too much.

So honestly, the sooner I can at least pencil the linework for already existing thumbnails, the better. I have a sense things are going to get even slower when I have to go back to the source. Hmmmmm.......... I've been debating if I shouldn't keep writing the script, that way I can boil the story down to actions and dialogue. It would most likely make it easier for me to write parts that haven't been written neatly and cohesively.....

It feels like there's just so much material left to linework, let alone color, it doesn't feel terribly important to work on whatever script I have planned and get the rest of all of that information organized in a way that's accessible for me......but maybe it's important to nail down more of the raw material, more of the plot points and scenes I want to touch on......y’know, before I actively need that material........ maybe...?

It just feels kinda overwhelming, even though (because?) I have mountains of notes, and I even have the beginning of the final writing. I wonder if thumbnailing out that far might actually help.

Wait......

I'm not really sure I have enough sketchbook pages yet. I'm having trouble finishing this second sketchbook so I can even move on to the third. Of course, I already have every intention of making a fourth, but I don't want to be too zealous too quickly. Sixteen frames per most of my signatures and ten to twenty signatures per handmade sketchbook....... and I haven't even finished the store bought sketchbook. I have enough paper (about 500 sheets) to make......a great, great several sketchbooks........ At what, maybe about two hundred frames per sketchbook, and it's taken me, let's say a year to make a hundred lineworks. As much as I would love to be releasing about three hundred frames a year.........I just don't think it's humanly possible.

I'm wondering if this story will actually encompass thousands of frames--that would be anywhere from a few hundred pages to several hundred pages.......