#but i am also on year 8 of my dnd hyperfixation and it's as strong as ever
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me voice: "why do i feel this way-" it's the autism. i forgot
#so here's a little story. over the last. i dunno 8 years of my life.#dungeons and dragons. has been a regular fixation of mine. a special interest. if you will#and throughout the years i cycle through high periods and low periods of this#consistently maintained! interest.#in low periods. it is one of my favourite activities if not my number 1 favourite activity on earth. and i would quit my job in an instant#to be paid somehow to play it full-time#but in this low period i will often have other interests like media or games that grab my attention strongly in my free time.#and i will have hours or even days where i don't think abt dnd#in high periods.#my. emotional and mental connection. to playing these games#is so encompassing#that i will make myself physically sick if i think something threatens my ability to play#high periods don't even come with a marked increase in time spent playing the game. it just comes with heightened emotions.#and a strong priority shift#and generally more of my free time devoted to related activities#and of course i'm saying dnd because that's been my main outlet but i really think these feelings are more about the ttrpg experience#than the system specificically#i do fixate on aspects of the system though. i plan to read the entire 2024 releases#anyway#people can be autistic about lots of stuff. and i know that sometimes that thing changes for people.#but i am also on year 8 of my dnd hyperfixation and it's as strong as ever#anyway post prompted by an emotional ping of: hey. those are some stronger feelings than normal. check in on what's going on?#the answer was just that i really like ttrpgs
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1, 5, 19, 20, 27, 40, 47 for the end of year questions ✨
1. First things first, did you have a good year?
It’s been an up and down year for sure, but all things considered? Yeah, yeah I did. I made new friends (shout-out to the squad YEET), got a taste of independent living, met a boi (shoutout to my boyfriend, he’s great), had my eyes opened to just how bad my mom is and how much I need to push for independence. I got to spend quite a bit of time with family and enjoyed almost all of it. I’ve started therapy. Sure, the beginning of this year wasn’t great. The end of this year has also not been the best. But all things considered? This year is better than the past few, and every step forward is a good step. So yeah.
5. Post your favorite selfie
heck you but FINE I will
19. What was one nice thing you did for yourself?
I left my toxic church! Started going to a new, better, more soul-feeding church.
20. Did you develop a new obsession?
Hmmm yes several. My most enduring hyperfixation this year is probably DnD podcasts. It’s lasted….8 months? And still going pretty strong.
27. Have you done anything that scared you?
Ho boy have I ever. I’ve braved more conflict-pregnant situations this year than I’d ever even have LOOKED at in years past. Dealt with a lotta interpersonal issues. It doesn’t sound that terrifying but when I say the possibility of conflict gives me full-body shakes and activates my fight or flight I am not exaggerating. I definitely grew a lot in that area this year.
40. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person, but really didn’t?
I’d say my ADHD med but it did actually change me some. Took the edge of my emotional regulation issues for sure. Honestly if anything, this year has been full of events to the contrary - things I never guess would have changed me, but turned out to have massive effect on my life.
47. If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for this coming year?
I don’t make resolutions, but if I did, they’d be along the lines of continuing to grow as a person, emotionally and spiritually. But I know I can’t really stick to resolutions, so I don’t even try lol.
questions
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