#but i always thought there'd be some kind of enlightened state of being achieved if i

[communist-hatsunemiku]

ever since like midde school, ive had this vague goal of "being done with everything" in the sense that I have no homework overdue, no projects im neglecting, nothing I need to get done but am not. As an adult I still kind of cling to this idea that I could be totally 'done' with everything. All bills and debts paid, all appointments made and gone to, all my chores done and my apartment totally clean, pets taken care of at the vet, car in perfect working condition. No calls to make, no forms to fill out, no obligations I'm neglecting. Just totally and completely 'done'

I know its a fake ideal now, as a teen I thought you could actually be done with everything but now I know there's always going to be some fucking thing. ALWAYS.