#but i DID coincidentally spend like 15 straight minutes in the shower this morning (once again) ruminating on things having 'points' at all
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none of you understand lando's weird anime positivity inspo instagram story like i understand it.
#i'm actually rlly jk guys#but i DID coincidentally spend like 15 straight minutes in the shower this morning (once again) ruminating on things having 'points' at all#like this is a growing up christian thing fs#bc i was raised to believe 'everything happens for a reason' / 'god doesn't waste anything'#so like every time something bad happened to me i'd be like 'this must be a test' or 'something better must be waiting'#and it took me until i was 23 to be like. no. things really just... happen. without any direction or meaning.#the other fun part of growing up christian is every time i'm HAPPY about something#i'm like 'i will probably be made to give this up to help me grow / teach me a lesson'#i was thinking about all this in the shower re: jobs i am interviewing for and probably won't get#anyway 'i don't think i can do it' / 'that's the point!' is very 'larger meaning to life' and i simply don't subscribe to that anymore#but i understand it very well. very very well.#alternatively 'i don't think i can do it' / 'that's the point' is just the current plan my bosses have me on#so they can fire me when i don't 'meet their expectations' which are just disgustingly high compared to rest of dept#anyway!!!!#personal
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