#but hoooooo boy can it break logic

[inioranackatori]

To belabor the point -

image below cut

This is Holy PlatinumNumemon. This is a Mega-level (translation: could bust a skyscraper by yawning) Digimon. Its special attack is throwing poop. Literally. It throws poop.

It was both freeing and horrifying to realize Batman and take-your-pick-of-Robin meeting one of these guys would cause Batman to just… shrug. Because canonically, this is - literally! - not the weirdest shit they’ve ever run in to.

I just finished reading the 2016 Batman run for funsies and I haven’t had the time to touch it yet.

Bruce;

falls from the moon (and survives)

goes through hundreds of dimensions to fight The “Joker” that Makes Other Jokers

gets shot near the heart at least 4 times, gets his hand cut off, stabbed through the chest, all while barely even functioning and still kicking ass

f ights alternate versions of his rogues gallery (and some of his friends) all of whom are more insane/mentally broken/venomed tf up. Again, while barely functioning

Utilizes a bat uniform from The Dark Knight Returns Universe, the utility belt of Adam West’s Batman, and uses shark repellant against a giant shark with joker paint on it that’s devouring the concept of Gotham.

I’m not even touching the failsafe comic intricacies where he gets blasted into another dimension, nearly all of his buddies get their shit rocked by robots made a suppressed alternate personality of himself made in case Batman went too far and killed someone (it was staged. Copplepot died). And so much more.

The very rough notes I gave were summarizing 10 total comics.

When I tell you that literally anyone from the DC universe wouldn’t bat an eye at Danny’s history, stories, rogues gallery, the fights he’s had, everything. I mean it

They’d absolutely be devistated a kid had to do so much at so young and deal with that much pressure as a child. But they damn sure wouldn’t be shocked. This is simply them doing the rounds of figuring out a new hero and their motivations

[doubledyke]

Im picking at random: 16, 22, 8, 7, 4 9

Thank you for humoring me!! Again, all of these thoughts are in regards to EddEddy as adults, obviously. Except maybe the first one I guess.

4. Describe their first kiss.

I haven't given this one much thought, weirdly enough. I don't have a specific timeline in my mind about how they end up getting together or any specific scenarios, really. I imagine they would have their first actual kiss in late high school. I think Edd initiates it and Eddy gets super freaked out because of how much it affects him. It sends him into a spiral about his sexuality and he starts to feel super awkward around Edd for a while. Edd also feels awkward but only because he's worried he did something to upset Eddy - Edd accepted and understood his sexuality from a young age I'd imagine. I do, however, also really liked sweeteggy's depiction in their nanomango comic from wayyyyy back in the day where Edd and Sarah are dating, break up and he and Eddy share a kiss for the first time as adults. I'm cool with whatever, I suppose.

7. I did answer this one previously. Thanks nonetheless!

8. What do they like least about each other?

Hoooooo boy. Eddy can't stand how aloof Edd can be at times. I think it takes Edd a long time to adjust to actually living with someone, and despite his polite and caring disposition, he is pretty self-centered. I think Eddy lacks the patience that's required to deal with someone who has severe anxiety and OCD, so at first, he is easily annoyed when Edd has his moments and he ends up doing more harm than good. In fact he probably gets a little creeped out when he and Edd begin living together and he sees some of Edd's weird behaviors for the first time. I also think Edd is prone to bouts of depression and tends to isolate himself, maybe without even realizing. Eddy doesn't know how to handle it in any way other than becoming annoyed and/or blaming himself. Eventually of course, he knows the signs and what to look for when Edd starts displaying certain behaviors.

Edd's favorite thing about Eddy is also the thing that brings him the most grief in a way (how profound 🧐). He appreciates that Eddy speaks his mind and takes charge, but can't stand his stubbornness and how quick he is to anger. When Eddy gets angry, he's inconsolable. It scares Edd. Eddy is irrational and impulsive (moreso than normal) when he's angry, and Edd doesn't know how to help. His logical approach just makes Eddy angrier. "Why don't you use your faggy psychology on yourself then, huh?" They're both super sensitive in their own ways and the arguments are plentiful in their early relationship. But as with any normal functioning adults (ha) in relationships, you learn more about each other, grow as people and eventually find ways to help, redirect and console each other in ways that actually work. Especially once they claw out of their angsty teen/young adult stage.

9. Similar to what I just yapped about for 40 minutes, I'd say it's still the differences in their personalities. Bickering is like flirting for them. Like it just gets them going for some reason. So they can argue about nearly anything, and it's usually only half serious. I guess on a real note, I do think that they'd run into some actual issues when Edd is in school/just starting his career. Kind of plays back into him being aloof. He'd become so preoccupied with his education or job that he and Eddy's relationship might begin to suffer as a result. He doesn't even realize it, or justifies it to himself because he's knows it's for the best in the long run. Eddy eventually explodes over something minor and Edd has to really pry for Eddy to tell him what the hell is wrong. Similar to your tattoo fic! But probably overly dramatic in my retelling, lmao.

16. What kind of couple's vacations and getaways do they prefer?

Something gay and tropical, I would imagine. Despite the fact that Eddy does not tan, he loves to pretend like he's getting some color (that color being red). They'd probably go on lgbt cruises and would love to go on road trips as well. I think all 3 Eds would try to keep a tradition of yearly cross country road trips. Outside of the occasional cruise and road trip, I can't think of anything that they'd specifically enjoy as a couple.

22. Describe the wedding.

Oof. Well, we all had some discourse around this topic already. I agree that they'd probably hold out on marriage until they're semi-geezers. And in that scenario, I think they might actually go all out. Huge ceremony, huge reception. All the bells and whistles for a couple of veteran gays. Ed is the only person in the wedding party, and plays mediator between the gagging grooms. Edd lets go of any hopes he might have had about a simple, down-played wedding and lets Eddy handle all of the creative details. He handles the seating chart, the cost breakdown, the schedule, the invitations, etc. I'm half tempted to say that a couple weeks before the wedding, Eddy decides that it's too much to think about and begins insisting they just elope in Vegas instead.

Thanks again for asking! My brain is fried from training for my new job, but this was a fun little distraction from my plight 🥴

[rufeepeach]

I'm extremely interested on your thoughts on Ace-spectrum Rumple. Please share?

Hoooooo damn this got long, sorry!

To start with, I think there’s two distinct people living in Rumpelstiltskin’s body: Spinner!Rumple, and Dark One!Rumple. At their zenith, compare pre-Dark One Rumple, to the Dark One image Emma saw in 5A. At any different moment, Rumpelstiltskin exists on a spectrum between those extremes. I would argue that in essence, those are two completely separate identities, but they make up one person. That’s not to say there’s no overlap - they are mutually constitutive at this point, and my hope is that Rumple’s happy ending will allow him to reconstitute his identity to take the best of both - the DO’s confidence, Spinner’s kindness, etc. 

Those two entities are constantly merging and parting, and have a lot of complex similarities and differences. It’s made more complicated and profound by the way that Dark One!Rumple is both its own exterior force that existed for centuries before Rumple took it on, and a mask that Rumple chooses to wear for specific purposes. So there’s an ambiguity as to how far they’re separate entities, and how far Rumple thinks of himself as the Spinner possessed, or as the Spinner overcoming the darkness, or as the Dark One in the Spinner’s body, or as the monster the Spinner became. 

So anyway, I would apply that logic to Rumple’s sexuality. Spinner Rumple, in my opinion is demisexual and demiromantic. His desire is for intimacy, not for the physical sex act or for an explicitly romantic connection. By comparison, Dark One Rumple is heterosexual, and aromantic. These two identities overlap in really interesting ways throughout the series. 

Going chronologically, we know next to nothing about the beginnings of his marriage to Milah, but there’s no evidence he was ever in love with her. In fact, the one real moment of connection they ever seem to have, is in Manhattan, when Rumple gets his conscription notice and they agree that with the money and honour he’ll earn in battle, they can have a family. So for me, Rumple’s marriage to Milah was socially expected, and a means of building a family. He was poor, he was known as the abandoned son of a coward and a cheat, and we know the most vital thing to Rumpelstiltskin is always family. However, we never see any romantic or sexual connection between them. The one kiss they share is Milah manipulating him into going darker and stabbing a man to save their son - a bleak foreshadow of what is to come, when Rumple takes on the DO. Tellingly, all that shows on Rumple’s face after the kiss is surprise, and resignation that he’ll do as she wants. Any positive reaction we can put down to a cycle of abuse whereby he over-values any approval from Milah, in response to years at this point of consistent emotional and psychological abuse. Every argument he ever makes about their marriage and how it ended is on Bae’s behalf. Therefore, I’d characterise any desire he had for Milah to be desire for family and acceptance rather than sexual or romantic.

Next up: Cora, and hooooo boy do we see a change! I would honestly categorise Cora as the Dark One’s True Love, at least for Rumple’s incarnation. It’s so interesting to me that she’s so much like Milah. She’s tough, dark-haired, biting and smart and ambitious. She left her child because her ambitions, her future, were more important than her motherhood. She’s drawn to power, to manliness, and look at Rumple’s presentation to her: in a very real sense, he’s playing his own twisted take on Killian Jones. He swaggers, he preens, he offers power and violence, and then they have sex. The Dark One is drawn to her sexuality, to her lust for power and the power she will one day have, and is the one having sex with her the first night they meet. He’s the one snarling about breaking veins with his teeth and forcing people to kneel. 

The Spinner - in the moments we see him with Cora, which are rare - is seeking a romantic and familial connection. But he only emerges once he’s formed a connection with Cora - they’re both born poor, they’re both seeking security, and they both want a child. That’s where the Cora/Milah parallel is so obvious: the Dark One wants to fuck her, maybe even loves her in his own dark, destructive, twisted way, but it’s a partners in crime deal, and it’s about Cora herself. The Spinner, however, seeks what he knows, a pattern of connection he’s been missing since Milah stopped being his partner and became his abuser. He’s seeking family and intimacy, and believes that if he keeps being the person Milah Cora wants him to be, he can have the life he wanted before he ran from the war, and fix his perceived past mistakes. He’s the one who accepts her changed deal so readily, wanting his own child. 

That’s where the ambiguity about how mutually constitutive or separate the two identities are from each other. There’s an element of the Spinner playing the Dark One in order to end his loneliness with a human connection. There’s also a genuine element of the Dark One desiring and loving Cora independent of the Spinner. Ultimately, the Dark One is the one fucking Cora, but the Spinner is the one who’s left broken at the end of it.

Belle is... Belle is the Dark One’s downfall. Every moment they’re together, she’s peeling back those scales to find the Spinner within. I don’t need to write a whole lot more on the Belle point because it’s just damn obvious. I honestly think she’s the one example we have of the Spinner feeling genuine sexual and romantic desire and attraction. She’s his emotional connection, his light, the person he loves in every way and wants every sort of intimacy with. She’s also the very first woman he’s ever met and had a relationship with who wanted him to be more like the good, kind Spinner everyone else hated, and rejects the darkness Milah and Cora both approved of.

When we get to Lacey, we see a direct reversal of what happened with Cora. The Dark One is attracted to Lacey, but Lacey shows up when the Dark One is at his weakest in Rumple’s personality because Neal is around and (until very recently) he and Belle had a very good relationship. The Spinner tries to save Belle on their date, and discovers that Lacey is Belle’s opposite: Lacey wants the Dark One, and thinks the Spinner is a pushover. So the Spinner stands aside and lets the Dark One take over for a while - so much so that the Dark One ends up offending and upsetting Neal, putting that relationship in jeopardy, when they beat up Whale. The Spinner re-emerges to wake Belle up at the end of the series, and the moment Belle is back there’s not a scale in sight.

Finally, we gotta discuss 6A and the Evil Queen. Also known as: We’re All stuck On A Burning Character Assassination Train-Wreck Full Of Semi-Incest, Adultery and Spousal Abuse 2016. Now, we have 4A, where the Dark One comes out to cover the Spinner, who is traumatised, PTSD’d, and grieving. We have 5A, where the Dark One is gone and the Spinner has to forge his own identity. However, those two are fairly irrelevant to Rumple’s (a)sexuality, so: 6A. 6A is the purest Dark One we’ve ever seen. The Spinner was defeated when Belle left him at the wishing well in 5A, and since then has decided that the Dark One can protect him from ever being hurt again. That defeat is compounded when, in a moment of vulnerability, the Spinner creeps out in the dream to appeal to Belle to come home, only to be denied again. The last time we see the Spinner, is the scene with the tape - ‘sleep well my bairnie, sleep’. 

So the Spinner does what he did in 4A: he recoils from the pain, and lets the Dark One persona take over, even more thoroughly than ever before. The Dark One persona cuts his hair, and pursues their mutual aim in any way he can: getting access to his child. He sleeps with the Evil Queen, who’s basically a carbon-copy of Cora for the new millennium, for the same reasons: the Spinner is lonely, and the Dark One wants to partner up (sexually and otherwise) with a powerful dark sorceress who enjoys his power and darkness. The Spinner would never have gone near the Evil Queen, but she’s exactly the Dark One’s type. That’s where I see a clear disconnect between the Spinner’s demisexuality (whereby Belle is the only person he ever wants to be intimate with), and the Dark One’s hyper-heterosexuality (willing to fuck any dark-haired, dark-hearted woman who’s willing: see Cora, Lacey, and EQ).

And then, as always, the moment he’s reunited with a Belle who might be willing to listen and reunite, the Spinner re-emerges, and his devotion is clear.

Tl;dr, I think Spinner!Rumple is demi and Dark One!Rumple is hyper-hetero. I think the Spinner!Rumple is probably the more authentic Rumpelstiltskin - what with being the original, and seeming to have the last word on the direction he actually goes in. However, the Dark One has its own distinct set of desires (all of them vicious, kinky, and sexual), and they come out to play around a particular type of woman, when Belle isn’t around to keep the Spinner at the fore. 

[thatothercosplayer]

This is the ship ask meme from like a month ago I’ve been sitting on top of because @boukenuniverse​ sent four in one ask and I’m finally in the mindset to answer them all. So... more under the cut, and all that.

Gakuran/Daruma: Who asks the other on dates: Gakuran!! He is an absolute romantic. No questions asked. Who is the bigger cuddler: Daruma. She is very physically affectionate. Who initiates holding hands more often: Also Daruma! But, if the mood is right, Gakuran. Who remembers anniversaries: Daruma. She may not seem like it, but her memory is like an iron cage. Who is more possessive: Gakuran, Gakuran, Gakuran. He is known to start fights about people even making joking remarks about Daruma Who gets more jealous: Gakuran kind of wishes Daruma was as persistent with him as she is with Maeda, but he’s not jealous. Daruma has friends outside of him after all. Who is more protective: Gakuran. Daruma is bad about picking fights she can’t win, so there’s a lot of times he has to bail her out. Who initiates sexy times the most: I....don’t know. Who dislikes PDA the most: Daruma, since she’s usually the one that initiates holding hands, hugging, etc. Who kills the spider: Neither! They’re yankiis, after all. Who asks the the other to marry them: Gakuran. He does it after a day out together, after a romantic dinner. Who buys the other flowers or gifts: Gakuran is bad about this. It gets to the point where Daruma has to get onto him about not spending on her so often. Who would bring up possibly having kids: Daruma? I dunno :V Who is more nervous to meet the parents: I doubt Gakuran is on good terms with his parents, so they probably never get brought up. Since Daruma’s a transfer I find it likely she still lives with her parents, so....Gakuran is nervous about meeting Daruma’s folks. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: Gakuran. He is whiiiiipped. Who tries to make up first after arguments: Daruma, actually! For Gakuran it’s mainly a waiting game to let her cool down. Who tells the other they love them more often: Gakuran. Again, he’s a romantic.  

Gakuran/Shibuya Who asks the other on dates: Gakuran, but when Shibuya wants to do something with him she’ll ask him on one. Who is the bigger cuddler: Hooy boy, Shibuya. She doesn’t seem like it, but behind closed doors? Sitting down on the couch together, lazing on the bed, warm baths together.....she is a cuddle monster. Who initiates holding hands more often: No holding hands in public; Shibuya is very much concerned about being perceived as weak since this is still at Majijo.  Who remembers anniversaries: Gakuran. Things tend to sneak up on Shibuya. Who is more possessive: Holy shit, Shibuya. She does it in such a backhanded manner too. Gakuran is handsome so it’s not uncommon for other girls at Majijo to hit on him....and, as soon as Shibuya gets wind of it she hunts them down and give them a good thrashing....because, overdoing it in the most backhanded way possible is the only way Shibuya knows how. Who gets more jealous: Gakuran is a bit jealous of Dance being super loyal to Shibuya, but....that’s it. Who is more protective: Bitch, Shibuya doesn’t need to protect herself. Who is more likely to cheat: Doubtful. Shibuya isn’t the type to do that and Gakuran tends to tunnel vision on whoever he’s attracted to, logic be damned. Who initiates sexy times the most: Shibuya. Her sex drive is pretty easy to set off. Want proof? Why don’t you go ask Ookabuki?  Who dislikes PDA the most: Shibuya. Especially since Gakuran ends up aligning with Maeda’s Shitennou. Who kills the spider: Either or. Who asks the the other to marry them: Shibuya. Whenever she is ready to take that next step she does it. Who buys the other flowers or gifts: Gakuran. Still bad about buying too many gifts.... Who would bring up possibly having kids: Shibuya doesn’t care about kids. Only if it happens on accident, basically, then she’s all in. Who is more nervous to meet the parents: Shibuya is not on good terms with her mother in the time period this relationship likely began, and I touched upon Gakuran’s relationship in the section above. Once Shibuya gets herself out of her rut and makes up with her mother, then Gakuran is probably nervous at first. After all, there’s no way Shibuya got her traits from her deadbeat dad, right? Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: Gakuran. Shibuya is the Rappapa Queen of Rage.

Heeeeeeeh. Who tries to make up first after arguments: Shibuya. She is already stressed out enough as-is and her lover is really her only escape from that.  Who tells the other they love them more often: I dunno, they both do it pretty frequently when they’re together. 

Sado/Yuko Who asks the other on dates: Yuko, when she’s not in the hospital. Who is the bigger cuddler: Yuko. She is extremely the cuddly type.  Who initiates holding hands more often: Sado, though this is more out of fear of losing Yuko than anything else.  Who remembers anniversaries: Yuko. She tends to look forwards to them since she is in and out of the hospital so much. Who is more possessive: Yeeeeah no. Who gets more jealous: Yuko has this tendency to get ALL OVER TORIGOYA when she returns to Majijo. Sado is known to get a bit salty when this happens....which is usually fixed by Yuko getting ALL OVER SADO. Who is more protective: Sado. Yuko has this habit of overexerting herself and she’s afraid it might lead to her dying one day.  Who is more likely to cheat: Sado is loyal to Yuko and...it’s Sado. Played by Mariko FUCKING Shinoda. Have you seen that woman? HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE. IS. A. GODDESS.  Who initiates sexy times the most: Yuko. Hoooooo boy. If she’s not giving Torigoya some hands-on time when she gets back, she’s attacking Sado as soon as they have a private moment. Who dislikes PDA the most: Sado. Got to maintain her steely, unbreakable image after all. Who kills the spider: Who cares? They’re yankiis. Who asks the the other to marry them: It never happens. Yuko dies before Sado can even consider it. Who buys the other flowers or gifts: Sado visits Yuko’s grave twice a month. Who would bring up possibly having kids: Yuko probably would have. If she lived. Who is more nervous to meet the parents: Sado would have been more than happy to Yuko’s parents. Shame the first time she met them was at her funeral. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: Sado oftentimes slept on the couch in Yuko’s room at the hospital, during her longer stays after some of her treatments. Who tries to make up first after arguments: Yuko. She needs Sado to break up the monotony of being stuck in the hospital. Who tells the other they love them more often: Sado, and Yuko loves every second of it. Sado/Shibuya YES. NOW WE’RE TALKING HERE. SIGN. ME. THE. FUCK. UP. THERE IS SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN THESE TWO HOLY SHIT?  Who asks the other on dates: Sado does it at the worst of times to get on Shibuya’s nerves. Who is the bigger cuddler: Shibuya, as she’s still incredibly starved for physical affection....but she’s super tsun about it.  Who initiates holding hands more often: Rappapa’s Shitennou? Holding hands? 

Only in privacy. 

And it’s always Sado.

And Shibuya is tsun about it. Who remembers anniversaries: Sado. Again, things tend to sneak up on Shibuya. Who is more possessive: It could go both ways, honestly? Shibuya and Sado are two different ends of the spectrum. Two sides of the same coin. Polar opposites. Ketchup and mustard. Peanut butter and jelly. 

Poverty and capitalism.

Death and taxes.

Daytime television and grandma’s house.

Who gets more jealous: *inhales* Shibuya shibuya shibuya shibuya shibuya shibuya shibuya  Who is more protective: Sado has to bail out Shibuya now and again. You know her, always firing on all cylinders.   Who is more likely to cheat: They would probably kill the other if they cheated. Who initiates sexy times the most: Sado. Shibuya is a sexual deviant, but she is completely dominated by Sado. When she says it’s time, it’s time. Hell, sometimes she doesn’t even have to say it- sometimes she just pins Shibuya to the wall and it snowballs from making out to sex. Who dislikes PDA the most: Rappapa’s Shitennou? PDA???  Who kills the spider: It’s fucking dead yo. Who asks the the other to marry them: Sado. Shibuya says yes.  Who buys the other flowers or gifts: Sado, for special occasions like birthdays and such. She is a bit on the stingy side. Shibuya tends to spend more on herself. Who would bring up possibly having kids: Nah, they’re good. Plus they’re lesbians, so there would have to be magic or something to make pregnancy happen.  Who is more nervous to meet the parents: Shibuya is fighting with her mother during this time period, and Sado’s family situation is...kind of complicated. However, I’m sure once Shibuya made up with her mother Sado would be more than willing to meet her. Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: Shibuya. Angry she may be but she is whiiiiiipped. Who tries to make up first after arguments: Shibuya....it’s very defeatedly, though. Super tsun.  Who tells the other they love them more often: Sado dies it. She loves seeing Shibuya say “I love you too” and be tsun about it.