#but hey ro is opening up more so maybe as she does that I'll find out I'm way off on this

[luveline]

could you please write an early!roan fic where maybe she thinks Y/N is actually just coming around to spend time with her and then she finds out that it’s actually cause of her eddie, and gets all grumpy like “i thought you loved me” and Y/N comforts her “i do love you, but i also love your dad!”

thank u for requesting!! eddie and roan 1k, fem

There's a distinct smell of burned toast coming from the trailer. You trust Eddie but you rush up the steps anyhow, alarmed to find him coughing in the kitchen, window thrown open. 

"Will you take her?" he asks you immediately. 

You spy Roan sitting at the kitchen table and swap her for your bag of groceries. She gasps and giggles at your sudden appearance, quick to wrap her arms around your neck when you offer your embrace. You walk her to the open door and stand there sucking in clean breaths as Eddie fans a dish towel around under the smoke alarm. "What's dad burning?" you ask. 

"Um. Bagels?" 

You rub her shoulder. "Hey, I missed you, huh? It's been a long time since I saw you." 

"I missed you too!" Roan says quickly, eager, wrapping her arms tighter around your neck to squish your cheeks together. 

You smile into her hug. You and Eddie have been busy once again, and when you did manage to steal a date night, Ro was at Wayne's. You really have missed the little girl and you intend to show it, stroking your fingers through her hair gently. She dissolves like always. 

"Shit," Eddie says, throwing two blackened bagels into the sink and running the water. "Shit, fuck. I'm sorry, girls, I don't know where my head's at." 

"Cream cheese can't fix that." 

"It's okay, dad," Roan says. "We can get burgers." 

"I can't always feed you burgers, babe, it's not good for you." Eddie rubs his hair out of his face. "And Y/N just got here from work, she doesn't wanna go out again." You're dying to flop on their couch, but if she wants a burger for dinner, who are you to stop her? Still, Eddie puts his foot down. "No, bub. I'll make some more bagels. It'll be yummy. We have salami and everything." 

"Uh," she whines, laying back in your arms. You nearly drop her. You laugh at her dramatics as she slowly drags herself back up, her eyes practically sparkling with an idea. "Me and you can go get burgers," she whispers. 

"I really am tired. Let's get burgers on the weekend, maybe." You don't like letting her down but you have to be a united front with Eddie. Usurping his authority helps no one, especially when she wants something she isn't going to get today. "And I'd miss dad." 

"Who cares about dad?" she says. 

You laugh. "I do! He's my boyfriend." 

"He's your what?" 

Eddie looks up from where he's cleaning. The burned bagels have been disposed of, the kitchen sink washed out and the toaster cleared of scorched crumbs. "You knew that, Ro." He sounds puzzled. 

"He's my prince," you say. "You know? The prince to my princess Polly." 

"What?" Roan stares at you with an extremely amusing expression, her eyebrows tugged in betrayal. 

"Sweetheart, you know me and daddy are together, don't you?" you ask, hosting her higher on your hip. "That's why we go on dates and stuff. And why he brings me flowers, why we had that anniversary dinner, remember, with the melted chocolate?" 

"I thought you loved me." 

"I love you so much," you say, looking to Eddie for assistance. He seems as lost as you feel. "Like, so much. But I love dad too. He's hard not to love, isn't he? He's handsome and funny, and he makes great grilled cheese–" 

Roan does not look happy. She pushes at your chest to be put down and sprints out of the kitchen to her bedroom, where you hear a clattering of things being pushed over and a whine filled to the brim with attitude. 

"Should I…" 

Eddie shakes his head. "In a minute. Let her be angry for a bit. This is her first heartbreak." 

You meander into him and pinch his waist. "Don't say that to me, that's awful. Poor baby, did she really not know we were dating?" 

"Of course she knows. She just forgets, 'cos she loves you and she thinks you're best friends" He wraps an arm over your shoulders. "Wow. I wonder if she thinks of me as the third wheel when we hang out." 

You take the bread knife out of his hand. "Don't bother with that. We're getting burgers." 

Eddie's laugh is more of a girly, cute giggle, like he's just had a shot. You elbow him in the stomach until he cuts it out, and beg forgiveness for being grouchy with a hug. You press your face into his neck and huff. "I missed you before you got me in trouble," you mumble. 

"Nuh-uh, that had nothing to do with me." He kisses your temple. "She loves you. It's nice. It's… You're awesome. It's great that she thinks you love her more than you love me, even if she's wrong." 

"I do love her more than I love you." 

"Are you trying to piss us both off? You can go get burgers by yourself." 

Roan is face down in her bed when you knock on her door a couple of minutes later, completely still. You pick up the plushies she's flung off her bed and sit them up in pride of place against the wall. "Princess, you know I love you," you say. "Don't you?" 

"Yeah." 

"But you know I love daddy too?" 

"Ugh." She shakes her head in disgust. 

"Ugh," you say agreeably. "You're my favourite, though." 

She turns very slightly to peek at you. "I am?" 

"Obviously. That's why I just told dad we were going for burgers whether he wanted to or not." You tickle her side until she laughs and turns on her back to escape you. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I wasn't trying to. We're still friends, right?" 

"We're best friends." 

"That's what daddy said." You scoop her up into your side for a squish. "We're best friends forever," you whisper. 

She leans up to rub her nose against yours. 

[richeeduvie]

stupid groomer kendall unknowingly makes baby OD and so he leaves her be. roman finds her when she’s in the process and he puts her head in his lap and she’s just sobbing that she doesn’t wanna die and stuff. idk something tragic

TW: Angst, drug addiction, ODing, DogandBone!Kendall open the door tern haven parallels incoming heeee

He leaves Baby with a kiss to her hair. She's almost gone, but she kind of just looks out of it. Like how Kendall...not likes her, but how he has her most of the time. She looks sweet, sleepy. He should be better on that. But he has to go.

"I gotta go, okay?"

"...M-m...kay."

And so, Kendall goes. He leaves her alone.

Baby can't breathe right. She doesn't know what's going on, but she doesn't feel safe. No one else is here, is she the reason why she's in danger?

Roman calls when he usually calls and Baby doesn't answer. At first, he's just fucking annoyed.

"I sorta know you're not having an awful sex fest with my brother cause he's coming so...pick up. Pick up."

And she doesn't. Not to any of his calls. Roman gets more annoyed, twitchy and bitchy to randos that walk on the grounds of Waystar.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back, Shivvy. Have to see what our brother Kenny fucked up. Fucked. Bye, love you."

He goes. Really, Roman wouldn't make the choice to just break into Kendall's place just Baby's not answering his calls. He'd just berate her when she eventually picks up. But today, he's in a mood to have fun.

Roman shows up to Kendall's place. He knocks on the door.

"Bitchy, open up. You are a sad person who doesn't really do anything but coke in Ken's house so...open up."

She doesn't open up. Roman gets more pissed off, but worried. Really worried because he knows he's right. She really doesn't go anywhere else now. That's Kendall's fucking fault. His too, but he doesn't want to think about that because he's angry at her now.

"Open the door."

Roman says her name because it might make a difference. Open the door.

"Open the fucking door. You can't just fucking hate me. Literally nothing has happened. No big-wig fight, we're fine for what you've made for us so...open the fucking door."

No open door, but he's staring into it as he hears a thud. He calls out her name.

She doesn't know what's happening, but she's scared. Baby's fucking terrified and it's like dying, maybe? She doesn't want to die alone. She'll open the door.

Roman's pathetic in the pounding of the door, the shitty attempts to open it from the outside. But the doorknob turning, left to right.

How do you open a door so you don't die alone?

"..Ro...Roman?"

The door opens and Roman's fucking gone.

She looks like she's dying. His best friend - the person that was supposed to be his and literally no one else's and vice versa and all the stupid shit, that's her on the floor. She's crying and she looks sick. She shouldn't look so sick. Roman shouldn't feel so small and scared so quickly.

"What the fuck?"

Roman's desperate in picking Baby up, he barely can. But he looks like he's gonna vomit. What the fuck?

What the fuck did he do to her?

She's already vomited. This isn't just coke. He's been - Kendall's been feeding her fucking murder.

He manages to lay her on the couch as she cries.

"Breathe - just fucking-"

Roman's dragging out his words, making them go high and angry in his voice. He doesn't know what to do but just scared because she's not gonna fucking die. She was supposed to be okay and not like this with him and what the fuck did Kendall do to her?

"I'm sorry! I-I I don't wanna die, I thi...I-"

"You're not gonna die! Don't fucking-just breathe. Just don't sleep or...listen- I need to call-why didn't-"

Why didn't you come back to me?

Roman's hands shake when he pulls out his phone to call the fucking cops.

"Hey. Don't fucking fall asleep!"

Roman shakes her. She rolls her body, pulling herself in a slump to come down on his lap.

If she does, it'll be the easiest place to fall asleep. She doesn't want to die, but she'll die here.

Roman stares and tries not to because he's going to call the cops. But she needs to keep breathing. She shouldn't be talking like she's going to die because she's not going to. She's gonna never see Kendall again.

"...I'm sorry."

He makes himself uncomfortable before he presses the call button. Roman bends himself hunched and forehead to put his head to her temple. She's got her face pressed against his stomach. Somewhere else, this is where she should be.

"Don't fall asleep."

He's always been her beggar. Roman has to force himself to come up from her touch. He calls 911.

She can't leave him alone.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Okay okay okay okay I need help with this please

Okay so while I agree Ro can be a jerk sometimes, I think there’s an underlying thing that causes her to treat people like that. Maybe it’s the way her dad treated her or how she was put into an arranged marriage. Maybe she sees that Keefe really loves Sophie and he isn’t being forced into something and Ro (though I don’t agree with her pushing) just wants keefe to be happy.

Another thing: While I love Ro so much and she’s the character I can relate to the most, she’s can be a jerk. I feel like her teasing is on the border of abuse.

I just thought it would be cool to get your opinion on this, I hope your doing well!

-Mossy

Thanks, Mossy! I am doing alright and hope you're doing well as well! As for Ro, I agree that there's more to her character than just being a jerk, and I've theorized about what it could be before, so excited to look at her again!

One of the things i think could be contributing to her being so unpleasant and pushy and making people uncomfortable is her situation. She's the only ogre (until Bo comes along) in the lost cities, and they don't like her. She's living in an actively hostile environment and expected to be diplomatic enough to make things work out for a possible future alliance on a larger scale. People are afraid of her and hate her and look down on her and want her gone 24/7, whenever they go anywhere. She doesn't want to be there (she said in unlocked she'd love to get out of sparkle town and take Keefe back to Ravagog), but it's her assignment.

So I don't think she has the freedom or comfort to be open or thoughtful or caring. She may be physically at an advantage over elves, but she's only allowed to attack a select number of elves. And she does not have a social advantage over them; elves can talk shit and gossip and spread rumors and anything she does is going to take a lot more work on her part. She's at a disadvantage where she is so she's defensive. She'd unpleasant. She makes threats and is pushy, because making elves uncomfortable in conversation is a show of social strength. It's a way for her to say "you may have the advantage but I can do damage, too." it's protection for her.

But! Then she becomes more incorporated and accustomed to the elves she hangs out with. She's still rude and a jerk to elves she doesn't know, but she's been with the kotlcrew long enough that they know not to mess with her and she knows that some of them value her and don't look down on her. So she's more of a deadly calm instead of an explosive one.

However, that begs the question of why she's still so involved and pushy with Keefe and Sophie's relationship if she's not intentionally making them uncomfortable as a show of power, like she did in the Healing Center in Nightfall. There's a plethora of possible reasons, including but not limited to: she's upset over her own arranged marriage, she's trying to protect Keefe emotionally, ogre customs being blunt and she doesn't like how circuitous their relationship is, she finds romance drama entertaining and wants to meddle, to she straight up doesn't realize she's being a jerk.

We know she doesn't like her husband and is always arguing with him but can't get a divorce for political reasons. We know she's very loud and to the point, constantly talking about things as they are, so perhaps seeing how unspoken Keefe's affection for Sophie is is weird and wrong to her and she's trying to get him to change it.

I think there's also just a large part of her that finds it fun. Everyone has things they like and dislike, and I think Sophie and Keefe's relationship is interesting and entertaining for her. Here are two kids, one of which has been crushing hard on the other for years while trying not to tell her, the other convincing herself no one likes her like that and crushing on the first one's best friend. it's straight out of a story...because it is. It's fun for her! And she doesn't care if she's pushy because she already knows the elves don't really like her. So maybe she doesn't realize she's pushing it to far because she's so used to elves countering her for bad reasons that she doesn't realize Sophie and Keefe's discomfort isn't like that and she really is pushing boundaries she shouldn't. Elves have set the precedent of always rejecting her no matter what, so she's come to the conclusion that they aren't good judges. So if Sophie and Keefe try and tell her to stop? They're just being like normal elves and Ro's got no reason to believe it's any different than the other times ogres are shut down.

Those are possible in-canon reasons at least.

There's also the external factors, like Shannon using Ro as an instigator for a lot of moments, finally bringing the love triangle more into discussion instead of hinted at in the background. She's bold and talks about the things none of the love triangle characters will, so a part of her was likely modeled with the express intention of getting her involved so things would happen. Given how the love triangle was progressing, it may have stayed quiet for several more years without her constantly bringing it up and the series doesn't have that kind of time. It was with her prodding that it became more central, though it did go a bit overboard.

any mention of the love triangle was fleeting in the first five books, but they've become more and more frequent since Ro was introduced. She fills the role no one else did in the story and enables her to actually tell the story of Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe. So Ro is like a tool for Shannon to use to get to places the other characters weren't willing to go.

Ro can definitely be overly pushy to the point of creepy at times. Getting in involved in and making comments about Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz's love lives is not great and I'd prefer it if she didn't, but otherwise I love her quite a bit as her own character. It's her involvement in the love triangle that's weird, not her. If she was more independent and had more purpose outside of spurring the love triangle drama she'd be a lot less frustrating and uncomfortable to read about.

[mikey180]

Characters- Bam, Aguero, Hatz, Anak, Endorsi, Lero ro, Quant, Hansung Yu, Evankhell

Type- angst

Summary- they forget your date part 2

Endorsi-

"Are you going to get ready?" You asked Endorsi as she sat on the couch with little to no makeup on.

"For what?" She asked, absorbed in her new game. You had introduced her to it, but now it took up most of the time and you were honestly starting to get jealous over it. "What do you think? Do you remember?" As you questioned her she didn't even bother to look at you, she hummed a clear 'no'.

"I wrote it down, how about you go look." You said, annoyed as you unplugged the wifi.

"HEY!! Why did you do that?!"

"Did you really just yell at me over a game?!"

"Yes, that was an important level! I almost got the main love interest!"

"Well maybe you should take him out on a date instead!"

Was he, that bundle of data, really more important than you? Why did she care about it so much? Your train of thought continued as you ran out the door.

Lero ro-

"Your working so late, Honey."

"Mhm, I know. It's just so complicated and I wanna get it done tonight."

"Well you don't have much more time before our thing so how about you find a stopping point and wrap it up for tonight?" You didn't get a response from him. "Ugh, what are you even working on? Maybe I can help."

"NO!! I, um, don't need help. I want to do it on my own and you're kinda um."

"I'm what? Am I distracting you?!" Your words bounced off the walls of his lighthouse. Slamming his hands down on the display in front of him, the lighthouse suddenly pushed you out. You stood there right outside, processing what he did. Were you that annoying?

Quant-

You sat on the couch waiting for your fiery boyfriend to come out of his room. You were all dressed up for the night and he was taking you to a place that you had been wanting to share with him for a long time. As you heard his door open you jumped up, with a sudden burst of excitement.

"Yeah sure, I'll be right over!" He's voice echoed through the hallway. "Hey baby! What are you all pretty? Are you having a girl's night?" You looked at him as he put his shoes on. "Lero ro invited me to a boys night. We're going to game and we might go to a bar, depends on how we're feeling. Ya know?" He shrugs and puts his coat on, before waving to you. "I'll see you later, baby, have fun!" And then he left. He just left. You didn't even get a chance to say anything...

Yu Hansung-

Looking at him from the kitchen you could see that he was in his formal wear and that only got you more excited for tonight. He didn't tell you when he was taking you because he wanted it to be a surprise, but with what he was wearing you guessed he might be taking you to a fancy restaurant. You walked up behind him and gently tugged on the pin in his hair before asking "Hey baby? Can I take this out? I like it when you wear your hair down." Sipping from his coffee, you hear him hum. "No I have a very important meeting with the higher ups from fug. Sorry."

"But I thought tonight was for us..." You said applying a little bit more pressure to the pin.

"Just because I have a day off does not mean I can spend it on you." The coldness in his voice was evident and you took your hand off of the pin. When he talked like that you knew there was no changing his mind and even if you told him about your plans together you already knew it was to close for him to call off the meeting. It still hurt though, him forgetting about your plans together. Were they not important enough for him to remember?

Evankhell-

She was always unpredictable, but you didn't think this would happen. You and her were walking together on the way to your date spot when someone just came up and asked to fight her. Why would someone do that? You were in the middle of a crowded area! But knowing her, she accepted and obviously beat him.

She burned down half of the little shops and if that wasn't enough she proceeded to just walk away not only leaving a dead man in the middle of the road, but leaving you as well. You couldn't believe her. How could she just forget you after one victory against a low regular? Good God was her pride a problem and it has only been getting worse!

You huffed and continued walking to where you two were supposed to have lunch and had it by yourself. You were fed up with her crap!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: One of your kids is here??? Ro: Oh no! Ro: I double checked everyone was aware of the cancellations and everything Ali: You know what people are like, probably received but didn't actually read/listen to the message, like Ali: I'll quickly get in before ma can be her charming self any harder Ro: Thank you Ali: [allow time for that] Ali: Done Ali: Why'd you have to cancel anyway? Ro: Sadly I have yet to master being able to be in two places at once, especially when one of those places is so ridiculously far away Ro: What's more surprising though is that you've remained at home for long enough shepherd my pupil in and out for me without assumedly cursing Tess Ali: Ugh, I feel that Ali: until we're blessed with time-turners, we'll all have to muddle through Ali: and I've been there enough myself to guess where you are, so I won't pout about any potential adventures you could've been on Ali: everyone is DOA and MIA today, plus if I let her shout at me for long enough she might not ground me forever 🤞 Ro: Indeed Ro: Well, I can't deny that would be very much appreciated as I've been subjected to plenty of pouting already as things stand Ro: You can let her know that I'll be making my grand return soon enough which will at the very least give her another target should she desire one Ali: You can probably ignore him, he's just feeling the ill-effects of a 3-day bender, like Ali: some hydration and vitamin c and he'll be over it Ali: can't say the same of mother but my sins definitely outweigh yours Ali: though the offer is appreciated 💚 Ro: He's very much fine in that regard I'd been assured prior to my arrival and of course did my part to truly make it so by making him a late lunch or early dinner once I got there Ro: Regrettably, that offer was taken very much not in the manner it was intended Ro: The tally of my sins therefore apparently exceed the number of yours, in Drew's eyes at any rate Ali: Sounds like Drew Ali: you spoil him Ali: Caleb's mum made him work today, as he was too sick for school Ro: All I've spoilt is his afternoon seemingly Ro: Yet again, I'm a waste of time Ali: Hey Ali: don't take on his bad mood just 'cos he's mad he didn't get what he wanted Ali: you know it's bullshit Ro: None of his grievances are unfounded Ro: I shouldn't break promises Ro: Even if I did make them for less than ideal reasons Ali: No, but you know Ali: you have those reasons regardless Ro: And he has his own reasons to be upset Ali: Which you're clearly giving a fuck about Ali: so he owes you the same in return, yeah Ro: Of course, but his anger is fuelled by how much he does care, obviously Ro: It's because he likes me so much that he wants to take things further than they are Ali: Partly Ali: but I don't think anyone can say that that's all it is Ali: not to discredit how he feels in any way Ali: if anything, it takes into consideration all aspects Ro: He is the only one who can address that with any degree of clarity but its a conversation we're unlikely to have for a while Ali: I'm sure it won't be anything like that long Ro: That almost sounds as if you are in fact discrediting how he feels but I have no desire to get into a disagreement with you about the one I just had with him Ali: No, I'm saying he's nothing if not persistent Ali: trust me, he'll get over it if he has any sense Ro: It's less about the sense he possesses and more about the degree to which my own has abandoned me Ali: Do you regret the fact you didn't or regret the fact you were considering it? Ro: Both regrets somehow exist side by side and I have no idea how that can be Ro: Or which of the many internal voices vocalising my many mistakes I should begin to listen to Ali: Sounds about right Ali: are you in love with him? Ro: Yes Ali: Yeah Ali: it's Ali: the worst kind of headfuck Ali: amongst many other things Ro: What would you do in my place? Ali: About what Ali: specifically Ro: My next move Ro: He says I won't lose him but I know it's more likely than not Ro: Especially now that Carly has her own caravan to host in Ali: You shouldn't do it if that's the only reason why Ali: doing it because you're fearful of any outcome is just a bad idea Ali: it should always be primarily that you want to Ro: I do want to but I also don't want to Ro: It's complicated Ali: It is Ali: it might stop being complicated Ali: or you might do it before it does Ali: either of those is fine and valid Ro: What if it doesn't and I can't? Ali: You will Ali: if you want to, then you will Ali: I said it was the most important factor but definitely not the only, not even close Ali: it's complex but you know, like most things, stressing upon it will never make it less so Ro: I suppose Ali: It's like all this stuff isn't it Ali: thinking you'll never get your period and then it just happens Ali: we've all got our own pace for all of it Ro: And my pace is several steps behind always Ro: Maybe next time I should just go to the party Ali: Well his is coming up so Ali: you will be at that one Ro: Oh my god, don't remind me I haven't even begun brainstorming gifts yet Ali: 😂 Ali: you do have time Ali: but it might distract you from this worry so have at it Ro: You're so fortunate that Caleb's is ages away Ali: I know Ali: so much of me cannot hack that, I'd actually die Ro: After emerging from Carly's mostly unscathed, you could be forgiven for believing yourself immortal, I'm sure Ali: It was pretty hectic Ali: not sure if I'd say life-threateningly so but keep that between us Ali: could tell ma though Ali: keep her from hysteria Ro: I'll use that as my conversational opener when I come in if you'd like Ali: Subtle, cheers Ali: tell her there were no recreational drugs or pre-maritial relations too, whilst you're at it Ro: Carly would appreciate the lack of, I'm certain Ro: More so than Tess would my attempts at such a clearly crafted lie Ali: Can't win with her, like Ali: don't lead with that though Ali: even if that's a truth Ro: It's the kind of day I'm having Ro: I'll simply wish on everything possible that the losses extend to calories as well Ali: Don't waste the magic Ali: I know you skipped lunch Ro: You know because I told you I was busy running around after Drew Ali: Exactly Ro: Nonetheless, I've spent more time on this bus than anything else Ro: It's a pity I can't transfigure my bike here Ali: it seems like a good idea until it starts chucking it down halfway Ro: True, I'd be unlikely to garner any sympathy or permission for more time off from Tess even if I caught my death Ali: Seriously Ali: if she has to see any of us tomorrow at all, she might actually lose it completely Ali: what with Bea and Fraze being their delightful selves all weekend too Ali: the only ones not on the shit list rn are Tommy and Joe and that's only through absence Ro: Precisely Ro: Much like how the idea of finding birthday gifts for Drew is favorable after the nightmarish pursuit we all have to endure in order to provide something that Bea will undoubtedly dislike and return where possible Ali: 😂 s'why I kick it homemade Ali: good luck finding any takers for my sentimental tat, babe Ali: bless Ro: Alas the memory of my childish homemade cards finding their way to the recycling bin earlier than I feel necessary haunts me still Ro: Did Carly like what you made for her though? Ali: 😞 Ali: Yes, thankfully she's far more receptive and forthcoming with her thanks Ali: and the caravan looks amazing Ali: looked, I HOPE everyone kept out Ro: It would be difficult for her not to be, Bea, of course, is without competition in that regard Ro: I was impressed by the pictures despite being well aware of your artistic eye and resourcefulness in gathering materials Ro: Perhaps you should take and utilise all the magic yourself immediately Ro: Protection spells have been employed and succeeded for less Ali: True Ali: and a good idea to boot Ali: I better do it remotely Ali: aside from me leaving the house for anything but school and work rn being a deathwish, I'm not sure of the state I'd find the residents in, like Ro: Hm, yes arguably that is an even better idea Ali: Obviously, I do not plan to be her prisoner for long Ali: but for a great escape, I need even greater plans on the outside Ro: It would be my pleasure to extend such an offer, dear sister, but my own flight of fancy earlier did little else but backfire so it's best I stay under lock and key until I feel suitably chastised Ro: Either by Tess or myself Ali: Self-flagellation is next to godliness, of course Ali: I'll think of something Ro: I have no doubt that you will Ro: But whilst the subject of faltering has been raised, can I ask you something? Ali: of course Ali: scientia potentia est Ro: I was just wondering if you spent much time with Drew this weekend, that's all Ali: Not a huge amount Ali: but I saw him about, doing his thing Ali: if I saw anything like that I would've kicked his arse and told you Ali: in that exact order Ro: Okay Ro: Well, thank you Ali: Of course Ali: sisterhood before everything Ali: especially boys Ro: My favorite religion and the one to which I've been devoted to for the longest and most faithfully Ali: 💚 Ali: What's your ETA? Ro: 13 and a half minutes Ali: Ooh precise Ali: that'll please the jailer Ali: tell her 15 and you'll be back in the good books when you're arse is up the table without her even having to shout up the stairs Ali: 👍 Ro: I already told her 21 minutes so I have enough time to fix my face somewhere that isn't a very full bus Ro: She doesn't need to know that I've been crying Ali: 😕 Ali: Cold water fixes all Ali: we can talk about it properly after Ali: feels like forever Ro: It's not too late to pray for a summer storm Ro: Though it seems everyone misses me until they get the opportunity to spend time with me, so I might be wise to adjust my prayers accordingly actually Ali: Not everyone Ali: just him Ali: and just because he's mad Ali: we'll tea and talk, promise Ro: As long as you share too Ali: I gotcha Ali: you wanna hear all the fantastical and sordid exploits Ro: Fantastical yes, sordid not so much Ali: 😂 Ali: I'll do my best to spin the yarn into something comfortable and befitting Ali: don't worry Ro: Being guaranteed one less thing to overthink about will forever be appreciated Ali: That's my job Ali: one of Ali: labour of love, really Ro: tá mé i ngrá leat freisin Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: right, I got a table to set Ali: not gonna know what's hit her Ali: Rock even agreed not to throw any spaghetti up the wall Ali: providing I buy him sweets for a week Ro: I'm in awe of your power whether or not she will be Ali: whether a six-year-old can stick to a deal is another thing Ali: did threaten him with a broken pinkie so 🤞 Ro: I'll likewise threaten him with the type of hex befitting a 6 year old promise breaker if needs be Ali: 💀🐸🐀🕯🥀💀 Ro: Our minds have always worked in similar ways, that's a truth which deserves to be universally acknowledged Ro: But for now, go Ro: There will be plenty of time for talking later

[jiwonsssi]

— stress relief, pt. 1

The difference with dealing with that stress is that he smokes, and she cries.

Warnings: smoking, swearing.

Characters: Eun Jiwon/Sandara Park.

Jiwon thinks that all these fashion events are so fucked up. He has been there for two hours and he's already exhausted like hell.

Eyes are blurry from all the of cameras that are everywhere. Everyone has that fucking thing. And everyone thinks that it's their own proud duty to stuck it in his face.

It is his first time attending these kind of meetings and the last. He doesn't even remember why he agreed. Maybe it wasn't even Jiwon who did that; there are too many people who can say 'yes' for him without asking his opinion in the first place.

He suddenly goes back to old days; Jiwon hates it. It was all fun being famous until they started being slaves for a shitty company. And it's nothing different.

He pulls out a pack of Marlboro and sighs.

There is no way he can quit smoking; otherwise he might kill someone out of nerves. He already has that reputation, it's enough fame of being crazy for one person. Although he likes it. It's so much easier that way.

Lightning a cigarette, he leans on a wall not caring about expensive designed jacket. It's just an ordinary black suit. He has something around ten of them. He's even sure that if he would change that one with one that he has at home - nobody would ever notice. And that's the most annoying shit about everyone whos out there trying to make themselves experts.

Fake.

Feeling how the smoke is going down the throat, Jiwon puts his hand in a pocket and looks at the nights skies. He just wants to get home and sleep. Moral exhaustion is taking all the good from him; he's not even tired physically.

Only God knows how much he abhors days like this.

Trying to make himself better in front of people he doesn't even know. It's his work, right?

The music from the afterparty that is still goes on suddenly becomes loud and he looks to the back door in front of him, being a little bit curious. At the end it's not even a place to smoke, he just found the most empty place which happen to be behind fire escape door. Jiwon just got prepare to bicker with anyone who would try to kick him out.

To what he wasn't prepared is for seeing crying woman appearing and then disappearing after noticing him right at that particular door.

His brain proceeds information slowly at first; he even forgets to exhale the smoke and when he coughs a few times, realisation becomes clear - that was Sandara Park and he's in rather, how to say, difficult situation at that exact moment; he's fucked up.

Jiwon hates seeing people cry. It's not about women, but in general. What should he do now? Go after her? Or stay here? Or.. what? She clearly went here to not to 'breath some fresh air', she wanted to be alone. Just like him.

Though she was in tears and that is the most tricky part about the whole thing.

Jiwon curses under his breath and throws unfinished cigarette at the concrete floor. Of course he would follow her. Like hell he would.

He clearly has a soft spot for her.

Just when his hand touches a door knob, metal cracks open, filling almost complete night silence with muffled music. And her sobs.

Jiwon tries his best to not panic. What should he do now? Saying 'wazzup hows it going' is not really a way to go, but he doesn't want to disturb her with that pathetic 'what's wrong? Can I help you?'. The struggle is written on his face when Dara passes him and stops a few meters away.

He should leave her alone. He would more of a disaster than a help. And so he does. Ignoring the increase of her sobs right after he closes the door behind him.

And than Jiwon is standing inside the crowded bar, filled with kind of music that makes him want to throw up with a persistent thought that he hates that place. Everything about it. All that chatting that has zero sense that goes on a loop around him; all the loud fucking music that gives him head-aches; all the people who only cares about image. It's sick.

There is one way for him and he's willing to follow it. Free bar. He's here to enjoy the alcohol and to get wasted. So he guides himself to the holy place when his brain proceeds better than him.

- Can I have a glass of water? And tissues.

He can't let her cry there all alone. Right? Jiwon doesn't think that he would be able to calm Dara down, but offering her some help is a reasonable act of being a nice man.

Jiwon receives what he asked for and goes straight to the back door, passing security guy who gives him a suspicious look and opens that door that now is more like hell-gates again.

- Hey, I..

He stops mid-sentence, seeing her on her hunkers with face covered by palms, while her bare shoulders are shaking violently. He doesn't even hear her sobs at this point; she's just shaking and.. it breaks his heart.

Putting a glass on the floor and tissues in a pocket, Jiwon is beside her in a second, getting down as well.

- Are you in pain? Sandara, come on, stand up, I'll help you, - he's not even sure if he can call her by her name. She reacts quickly with putting her hand in palm that he offered to help her ro stand up.

He really though that she was crying because she was hurt. But now, when he can see her trying to wipe her tears, he realises that she, in fact, isn't. Dara is exhausted. Again, just like him.

The difference with dealing with it is that he smokes, and she cries.

- I'm okay, - voice turns out to be crooked and unstable. Somehow Jiwon sees her in a perfectly new way now.

He doesn't like her crying, of course, he's not that kind of crazy. Jiwon remembers her as smiling and always hyped-up woman who invited him to one of the best dates he had ever been. It was so distant for him - thinking, that she really likes him and his hobbys just as they truly are. They, other women, always try to change him; his life-style and interests. So when she planned the perfect food and activities for him, he was.. more than impressed. Touched, even. And she enjoyed it as much as he did. Jiwon would never forget how happy she was.

And now he sees her crying her heart out because of stress. It breaks his heart as well.

Basically that is the thing that he finds the most troublesome.

- If you say so, - persuasion is not going to end well and so it's better to stuck with keeping a distance right now. He doesn't want to invade her space more than he already did.

- I'm sorry, I.. I didn't know you were here and thank you also, I just.. - she even tries to bow to him and Jiwon stops her immediately, being as gentle as he can let himself to be, putting his hands on her shoulders. Touching her now might be really offensive. Crying people - really hates it.

- It's alright, no worries. I've got you something, - he goes for a glass that he left on a floor and puts it right in her hand, making sure it won't slip, - You look like you are going to have a badass photoshoot with all that mascara situation on your face..

Jiwon finds it funny and adorable. Dara doesn't.

And so the glass she was holding of course slips out of her fingers and with a loud crack it breaks, water splashes, Jiwon curses and Dara closes her face with hands and cries again. Just ten times harder.

- I'm sorry, oh my fucking God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, please, I'm an idiot, please, - he continues to repeat the same things over and over again and he's panicking. He looks like a monkey now, desperately trying to make her look at him without touching her hands. He's in a scariest panic he had ever been for a past few years.

He's in a full panic mode, yes, but he didn't want anybody to interrupt them. Jiwon is not sure how to accept that he wants to deal with it only by himself now.

- Come on, I've got tissues if you didn't like the glass, - he pulls out some and steps on broken pieces, - See? Bad glass. Never gonna give you any glasses anymore.

He does it again a few times and she softly giggles through sobs and did that feel like a heart attack? Because he surely had one.

- Yeah, glass was kinda gross, - she jokes back and he doesn't bother to hide his smile. He's happy for no reason and it right after he made a woman cry. Crazy one, indeed.

Dara calms down just a little and then takes tissues out of his palm and he clearly can see tears streaming down her face.

He's so used to see her smiling. Jiwon just hasn't ever had an idea that she can be sad too.

- I didn't want to hurt you, for real. I'm sorry, - Jiwon feels bad. He really does. It's even funny how he nearly shitted his pants when she continued crying after his stupid joke.

- It's not you, it's okay, - she wipes her face carefully trying not to ruin that was left from make up that she had and Jiwon traces all of her movements, feeling like he's under some spell. It's almost soothing, - I just thought about how it's funny that I was trying to talk to you the whole event and end up ugly crying right in front of you.

Her smile is so sad and Jiwon is just silent. He doesn't know what to do, nor say. There is emptiness in his head and he tries to inhale fresh air deeper to make his brain work already.

He takes one of the tissues and slowly puts her hands down, with that strange dazing feeling inside still being present. Like all the smoke is now moved to his head.

Carefully wiping her cheeks, he follows now his fingers with a gaze and his main mistake is giving zero fucks about how shaking is she.

And she's going crazy.

- You look stunning, - he looks her in the eyes to finally realise that one of his hands is on the side of her neck, pressing firmly against now warm skin and with the other he tries to wipe mascara from her face.

And she blushes so fucking hard, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Jiwon has enough experience to say that that's where the kiss is happening. But judging by expression on Dara's face if he would even try to do it, she would fain.

First of all, he finds it shitless cute.

Second of all, what the fuck he's even thinking about?

Because he's suddenly not exhausted anymore. He forgot when he stopped thinking about himself and started caring about her.

- Thank you, - her tone is high-pitched and Jiwon smiles like crazy looking at her chin, nodding, silently saying that is no need to be thankful. It's an absolute truth.

Another tuth needs to be relieved - Jiwon is a sucker for moments like this. Yet he stopped paying attention to relationships quite a time ago, so now that long forgotten sensation is impossible to ignore.

He feels twenty years younger. And he was wild during that time.

- How can you still look attractive while crying? - making her blush is basically his favorite thing now. It's natural to be attracted to someone like her.

- Don't say that, oh my God, - Jiwon laughs when she turns her head on the side to not to look at him and smiles just so brightly, yet shy and.. happy. After seeing her drowning in tears, it feels amazing. And his hand still on her soft skin; her heart beat is erratic. Violent. Because of him.

Another heart attack for him.

- It's true tho, - she looks perfect. She was shining in front all that lights before; in front of everyone. It's not about expensive dress or make up. He knows that it's about her attitude. She's naturally beautiful. From the inside, as they like to describe it.

- You too, - she turns again to look at him and her lips are slightly pursed and.. He's going to die, how can a woman be looking that hot, stunning and pure at the same time? And she cried, like, two minutes before and now not even in her best state, - You also is very handsome today. I know that you don't like hearing it, but.. I'm..

She's panicking and Jiwon, being his bastard self, doesn't want to help her. Even tho he feels like his hands are getting colder like he's some teenager.

- You..? - he looks directly in her eyes, stepping a little bit closer, so close he can feel her breath on his skin; now looking at her with curiosity and open adoration. Jiwon adores her. And he didn't even drink today to have that type of feeling.

- I didn't mean that you look nice only today, you always do! - her embarrassment is written on confused flushing red face. Has he squeaked? Hopefully not.

- Okay, - smirk spreads by it's own will and he licks his lips, not caring about what's going on. Or how it looks. The only thing that's important for now is how she looks at him; he can swear no other woman had never had that pure interest in him in her eyes.

He's gone for. Thoroughly.

- Want me to give you a ride? - he proceeds what he said just after a moment she understands what he had just, in fact, said and now it's his turn to be in panic, - Fuck, no! Oh God.. home. I want to drive you home.

Or not.

Oh, God.

Dara giggles after a moment of silence and wide open shocked eyes; the next thing he feels is her tiny hand on top of his. Her delicate touch got him growling inside and he feels something that he wasn't actually physically ready to feel.

- I'd love to, - and she's elegant all of sudden. Dara plans a murderous assault on him or what? It's illegal, - Ask me that question again when we get home.

Because now she's gone for.