#but hes stoic. He's strong. he's a defender. He cannot afford to cry in the moment - there will come a time.

[isaacathom]

cause like, okay.

florian de kasimir is a trained killer. not in a cool assassin way, but in an army way. he was raised without much love and care, he joined the army as the only thing he felt qualified for, and the experience proved him right, in his mind. That he was only good for causing pain, and hurting others. he was a competent soldier, and when the war ended, he became a wandering mercenary, using his considerable combat skills as his trade. he'd protect people from wolves, he's do like, tax collection, like thats the sort of shit he did. he'd kill bandits without mercy on the roads.

zeke is his dearest friend in the whole world. When the two were younger, zeke was the only person who didn't give a shit what people were saying about florian, and despite being a good 5 or more years his junior, taught him to just fucking Go For It. to become self reliant. When they met up again years later, they immediately began travelling together, and have been since.

florian has witnessed his fair share of death throughout the campaign, the majority of it at his own hand, and which he tries not to think about too long where he can.

but then there's the deaths of people he was working with, working for, trying to defend. the deaths that should not have happened if he'd done his job properly. which is where the contrast with zeke comes into sharp focus.

the first party death was Iswe, when the party entered a forest to deal with a curse. In the ensuing fight against cursed plants, another party member missed their blade swing and struck Iswe, who died before the party's doctor could attend to him. At this stage the party had only been travelling together for some two weeks, but Florian attempted to defend Iswe/his body from plants. When Iswe's body subsequently vanished, he assumed he must have mis-seen him dead/unconscious and that he'd managed to escape, something proven when Iswe was alive and well back at the inn in town. Florian did not react particularly emotionally to Iswe's brief demise, more pragmatic - he's a tank, he'll cover for the injured party member, he'll cover the party's retreat. And he was so confused by the entire situation he decided to simply not think about it.

the second party death was Cannon, when a much reduced party was tasked with hunting down a griffon. While they were able to defeat it, a second griffon appeared and ravaged the party, badly injuring Florian and biting off Cannon's head. Devastatingly, Florian was the only person who actually saw Cannon die, telling everyone to flee. Drystan (another party member) managed to recover his body, and the group fled back to town, receiving the bounty for the griffon they did kill as well as assistance in burying Cannon's body.

Florian was fairly stoic. He's not an especially eloquent man, and couldn't think of anything to say at the man's funeral, instead chosing to quietly reflect on how much he owed his life to the man. When Cannon then appeared alive at his own funeral, Florian's immediate response was to throw dirt in his face. That was even more confusing for him, but established that something particularly weird was happening.

The third death of an ally was of a lady called Nefrus, who the party was escorting alongside her family. When the group was ambushed on a bridge by bandits, she was stuck in the wagon when it fell off the bridge, and was mauled by river beasts. Florian defended her husband, and helped him to haul her out of the water, and was the first of the two men to realise she was dead. He did not tell the husband, instead continuing to deal with the monsters and bandits.

Nefrus had been very kind to the party, and had given Florian a hand-embroidered handkerchief only a few days prior. Florian doesn't weep for her. But what he does do is, when Tobias (Nefrus' husband) tries to pay the party the full money from the escort contract, Florian refuses outright. He refuses to accept the money. He argues that, per the contract, the party is only eligible for half - the contract had stated that if any harm came to the family, the bounty would reduce. His actual reasoning, of course, was that a man who had just lost his wife and most of his worldly possessions should not bankrupt himself on their account. It wouldn't be fair. Keep the money for you and your daughter.

The fourth death was Tobias. Some time had passed - Tobias and his daughter had gone their separate ways from the party and settled down in a town that the party would later pass through, finding that he, his daughter, and his new partner* were being haunted by some demonic spirit. Through investigation, it was revealed that both Tobias and the partner had made deals with a devil - for someone who would be able to look after his child when he died, and for a child, respectively. But neither had made a clever deal, and the demon sought repayment in the form of Tobias' life. When a mob came to destroy the house, the demon appeared, badly injured Drystan, and then took Tobias' heart. Dead.

Florian helped bundle the party inside to receive medical care, and then, lacking medical experience, returned outside to tend to Tobias' body. He agrees to take the family with them to the next major city on their route, helps to bury Tobias in the forest, and gives the woman a small sum of money - not for her, not really. It's for Tobias' daughter, who is now an orphan, and who Florian genuinely cares about. It's to keep the two of them fed and with a roof over their heads while they figure out their options. He does not weep, but he shows his care. And he hugs the daughter when they say goodbye, and wishes her well.

Up to this point, none of the deaths have truly made him cry. He's been emotional, but he's a fairly bottled man. His reactions in the moment, if notable, are rage and defensiveness. He might be more reckless than usual, but he does not weep. He tends to his emotions quietly, like a broken field, and he tells the people around him to remember their loved ones well.

And then, as they hunt through a forest for a powerful spirit, Zeke is mauled by a bear and collapses dead right in front of him.

And Florian fucking explodes. He wipes that fucking bear off the face of the earth. He screams. The wolves that later arrive, he injures two of them badly. And when the battle is done, and the beasts are dead, he collapses and weeps. He's not even near the body, being carried carefully by Drystan. He can't even look. But he knows.

Florian knows what death looks like - He's used this battlefield expertise on previous occasions to identify the smell of a corpse and to roughly estimate how long it had been dead. He knows a dead man from the living, knows how the body crumples without energy, how it hangs limp and heavy. And so he weeps. If he'd been first to get to Zeke's body, and hadn't been busy furiously avenging him, he would've cradled his corpse.

And then a druid somehow revives him. He breathes again. He's weak, his back is lightly scared and magically branded*, but he breathes.

And Florian goes to him, and shakingly asks him if he's okay. "Yeah, I think so"

And he sweeps Zeke into a massive hug. And he continues to cry.

i have so many art things i need to draw, like something to honour vanera and an updated art of drystan and maybe a whole party thing that correctly reflects the fact that taloi is fucking 2m tall, but the thing i really wanna draw imminently is like a 3 panel comic of florian sweeping zeke into a massive hug while crying, because its very important to me