#but here's most of what we do know about the planet bri is from (free of my own hcs minus the pyramid pic) ))

[prvtocol]

AARGAU :: “The Jewel of the Zug System”

Astronavigational Data: Zug system (Coordinates L-10), Core Worlds Orbital Metrics: 364 days per year/24 hours per day Government: Bank of Aargau (Intergalactic Banking Clan) Population: 4.8 billion (84% Human, 12% Droids, 4% Droids) Language: Basic, Aargauese Terrain: Cities, Gardens, Mountains, Forests, Jungles, Oceans, Rivers Major Cities: New Escrow Areas of Interest: Dawn Pyramid of Aargau, Garden of Butterflies, IBC Arcology Major Exports: Precious metals, bankers Major Imports: Financial assets

Aargau is the third planet in the Zug system (coordinates L-10) in the Arrowhead region of the Core Worlds. It sits close to Coruscant and the Corellian Run and Ag Circuit hyperlanes. The saying, “Better poor on Aargau than wealthy anywhere else,” speaks to Aargau’s spectacular wealth as a center of banking and commerce and its vast reserves of valuable metals. Several governments, corporations, and organizations store their assets in one of its thousands of secure vaults.

The government, the Bank of Aargau, owned by the Intergalactic Banking Clan, operates with only three primary laws called The Three Statures of Aargau: I. No unlawful removal of precious metals; II. No possession of weapons except by Aargau citizens who must be armed; III. No willful conspiracy to defraud, discredit, or deceive the Bank of Aargau. These crimes are punishable by immediate execution carried out by IG assassin droids. 

In Aargau, order and organization are paramount. During the Galactic Empire, the Bank’s owned subsidiary, Bank of Aargau Security, is considered the largest privately owned army in the galaxy. The Aargau Home Guard often plays war games around the capital, New Escrow, to display military power and deflect foreign powers from invading the planet. However, Aargau’s financial position ensures this remains an unpopular consideration. The Bank of Aargau Security subsidiary, BAS Customs, also strictly monitors inbound and outgoing traffic, enforcing the planet’s stringent laws on exports. Visitors can leave their weapons on their ship and are generally given access to Levels One to Three if visiting for banking purposes.  

Aargau’s climate is temperate, and most but not all of its surface is covered by city. Sections of these sprawling cities are laid out in levels forming gigantic pyramids rising kilometers above the surface and with levels thousands of meters apart. Aargau also holds one of the Twenty Wonders of the Galaxy, the Dawn Pyramid of Aargau, constructed by the Sharu civilization in 100,000 BBY. As Aargau's own civilization grew, the Dawn Pyramid inspired the planet's architectural theme. 

City levels are allocated according to function with the upper and smallest levels housing Planetary Customs Security Checkpoints to check all visitors incoming and outgoing. Below levels hold administration, banks, vaults, treasuries, merchants, and living levels. The lowest level is the Undercity.

For instance, the IBC Arcology pyramid in New Escrow contains the following levels:

Level One (Red): Security and Customs Level Two (Green): Administrations Level Three (Yellow): Where off-world banks and banking accounts and precious metals are stored Level Four: Lodging  Level Five: Merchants  Level Six: Entertainment and Recreational Facilities Level Seven: Undercity (on the planet’s surface) 

Every level is color-coded to make it easier to navigate, especially since these pyramids are akin to giant mazes with tunnels to different sectors. Droids, which comprise 12% of the population, are programmed to find their way around while people can spend years memorizing the access codes and charts and still get lost. Official routes between levels are taken via turbolift and require special clearances and sometimes money to access. Thousands of other unofficial routes via capsule tubes exist between levels but are only known to a handful of people and many hidden for so long they have been forgotten. There are also unknown levels, such as the Sanitation Level, right above the Undercity. Along with safety, everything is extremely clean.

Certain sections are more crowded than others, such as Level Three where off-worlders are given clearance to conduct their business. The Undercity likewise is very crowded with lifeforms from all over the galaxy. The only light is artificial, coming from buildings, turbolifts, and capsule tubes. Due to Aargau’s extremely focused laws, crime runs rampant; anything goes and nonnatives walk armed. Inhabitants are drawn by the fortunes to be made in trading currency, the black market, the selling of gold, credits, data, droids, jewels, weapons, ships, and information. There are also several gambling dens owned by the Hutt Desilijic clan.

Sources: 01. 02. 03.

[tarithenurse]

Stolen - 28

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!gifted!reader Content: Hints at smut, but mostly fluff, and plot. No proofing has been done, so expect some errors. A/N: *sigh*...life...am I right? Anyways...ask or re-blog for tag.

28. The Reflecting God

...   Loki   ...

Stretching satisfyingly, he revels in the soothing heat from the body snuggled up against his side. Hair mussed from the sleep and with red lines from the wrinkled pillow jarring the pretty face, she's a vision to behold. They've slept (or in Loki's case rested) for a few hours after the debauchery and nothing would appease him more than a full night's peace in [Y/N] arms. Unfortunately, some things cannot be.

Repositioning, the former prince cradles her as best he can. "My dear," he whispers into her ear, "darling, you must wake now."

She whines softly at first, resisting the continued cooing and the strokes he lavishes her with, but eventually his tenacity wins. Blinking owlishly, the woman studies his face as if for the first time before reality catches up with her in the form of a bashful smile which quickly grows as he pecks a kiss onto her forehead.

"So that's the trick," the minx hums in delight.

"To what?"

She wins time by burying the pretty nose of hers in his hair. Still, Loki can feel the grin against the shell of his ear before she whispers: "I get laid if I annoy you enough."

A split second later, she's pinned beneath the jotun who bites teasingly at the side of her neck before drifting lower and getting distracted - he had intended to scold her, torment her sweetly, but [Y/N] arches her back so prettily when his ministrations elicit a sigh that he is lost.

...

Night still reigns, barely, when the two of them reappear in the guest chamber in Valhalla. Legs still weak from the latest exertion and eyes heavy-lidded and full of an unspoken acceptance of reality.

"Allow me to draw you a bath, pet."

Of course, she doesn't object but follows him to the grand bathroom and her cooperation continues when the tub has been filled and Loki frees them both of the hastily reapplied clothes. The water embraces the pair with a puff of steam that clings to their faces as a delicate sheen of droplets.

...   Reader   ...

If all there was to the world was the heat as you nestle between Loki’s thighs with your back against his stomach then you’d live happily forever, and for once you know what the god feels because a tune drifts from that sinful mouth as he spreads the soap across your skin, paying attention to and caressing even your little fingers. He’s content. A quasi-erection serving a both a reminder and a promise, but for now both of you are too worn out for anything else than lazying about in the bath.

The foreign melody lulls your senses and you’re only partially aware that you echo the lilts and falls until you carry the second voice, wordlessly at first, which eventually grows and becomes something more. Words you don’t know speak clearly to you about safety, a home that’s more than four walls and a roof...and something you don’t understand. Loki listens, now and then kissing your hair as he continues tending to your body.

...

“What are we doing?”

Your raven-haired glances up at you from where he’s sitting in the shade of a tree. “You are supposed to study or the queen may loose her patience, little mortal.”

“You know what I mean.” Rolling your eyes at him has become one of your most trained abilities. “We’re hiding, nice and safe here in...on Asgard,” you explain, finally getting his full attention, “but Thanos is still out there!”

“I know.”

Of course he knows. The disowned prince has suffered more at the hands of the purple maniac than you have. Is he even safe here? There’s no doubt Odin would want to seek some sort of twisted justice against his ex-son, but it’s unclear to you if he’d go as far as to abandon the man to someone like Thanos. Either way, plenty of people seem to be standing in line to deliver a kick of two as revenge for former slights. Yeah, Loki from the past has complicated things for present day Loki.

“Hopefully, my br-Thor will return with news...I hear rumours that he has been hunting down old lore and is planning to visit the ancient sites of creation throughout the realms.”

“Oh?”

“Yes...I’m surprised none of your new frie-”

The sound of voices coming closer silences the supposed servant, forcing you both into the roles you’ve adopted since your arrival to Valhalla – even after it has become common knowledge that you’re a Midgardian, everyone still treats you as near royalty which you suspect you can thank both your ties to Alfheim and the queen’s attention for. As such, you should be getting used to the discreet bows Hogun and Fandral offer you when they appear from the rose garden.

“M’lady [Y/N].” Fandral smiles so sweetly you’d almost believe you didn’t turn him down at all. “We hoped to find you here.”

Returning their gesture with a nod and a wave towards the empty seats, you wait until they’re seated before replying, “Do I dare ask why?”

“Certainly, although you may also be saddened at the news we bri-oomph!” The blond man is (temporarily) silenced by an elbow in the side.

“Beg you pardon,” Hogun takes over, “Thor has asked us to accompany him. As promised upon hearing your plea, he is seeking out the truth in the hopes of preventing more horrors from happening.”

No words escape you because nothing can really express the mad hope flaring in your chest at the idea that the God of Thunder trusts you enough and loves the tiny planet called Earth to the extend that he’ll figure out a mystery like the one you’ve handed him.

“Don’t fret,” Fandral assures you and places a hand on yours, “you are safe here from Loki and any potential collaborators he may have.”

A bitterness burns your marrow in a way you’ve never felt before. “I’m not afraid of Loki...but whomever drove him to the threshold of madness? That’s my living nightmare.”

The two men exchange a look you can’t decipher before bidding you farewell. They aren’t sure when they’ll return or if the expedition will prove useful, however they trust Thor’s judgment in so far as the cause is important.

“Told you so,” the God of Mischief taunts quietly as you look after the retreating Asgardians.

Hrmph. “Behave, servant, or you’ll find yourself with an endless amount of tasks and no sleep tonight.”

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 2: Accept The Fucking Offer]

Series summary: You are an overwhelmed and disenchanted nurse in Boston, Massachusetts. Queen is an eccentric British rock band you’ve never heard of. But once your fates intertwine in the summer of 1974, none of your lives will ever be the same...

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​

The floor is quiet. Your patients—all except one—are sound asleep and mercifully keeping their call buttons at a distance. Patricia is camped out in the nurses’ station at the other end of the hall, chomping noisily on sunflower seeds and wailing along to Tammy Wynette on her portable radio. Queen is enjoying their fourth late-night picnic of the week. You close the door and check your watch; you have seven minutes left before your break ends.

“Let’s kill her,” Freddie suggests casually, hanging his smoldering cigarette out of the open window.

“You know that’s extremely bad for you.”

“What? Committing felonies?”

“I don’t think you’d do well in prison, Fred,” Roger says, popping a Cheeto into his mouth. “No sequined leotards. No cats.”

“Smoking,” you correct. “Smoking is extremely bad for you.”

Freddie takes a drag, exhales a fog of smoke, and grins at you beneath gleaming sunglasses. “Possibly. But darling, the aesthetic is divine. And you’ll take care of me if I get sick, won’t you? Ensure I get all the best drugs, procure new lungs for me on the black market?”

Brian rolls his eyes and nibbles a violet plum, then gestures for John to pass him a napkin as juice dribbles down his stubbled chin. John flaps the napkin just outside of Brian’s reach, yanking it away each time Brian swipes. Roger snickers, observing their exchange from his place on the floor, before eventually advising John to have mercy. Brian snatches the napkin and promptly whips John across the face with it.

“So now you have me committing felonies,” you tell Freddie with a smile.

“Keeps things spicy.” Freddie peers over at you, brow crinkled, studying you like an abstract painting. “Do you like your job, dear?”

Brian groans. “Fred, please, don’t interrogate her—”

“I’m not interrogating, I’m inquiring—!”

“It’s fine, seriously, Bri, it’s fine,” you say. Brian raises his hands in surrender. His coloring has improved, he’s gained five pounds, he’s being discharged tomorrow. Then Queen will be whisked across the Atlantic back to London...and that’s a truth you’re struggling to grasp. “I love what I do. Just not necessarily where I do it.”

Freddie nods, puffing on his cigarette. “Because of Nurse Queen of the Underworld.”

“Not just her.” You can remember being a child and worshiping at the altar of familiarity: your home, that old maroon Queen Anne-style house at the intersection of Apple Avenue and Arcadia Street; inhaling New England autumns; burying yourself in your mother’s soft, cream-colored knit sweaters that were dusted with the scents of homemade pies and Chanel No. 5; the creaks of that uneven, tobacco-stained wood floor of your father’s study beneath your bare feet. Whatever existed outside of your comfortable, commonplace universe—whatever monsters or treasures or undiscovered ringed planets dwelled there—held no interest for you at all. You wanted to live here, die here, raise your own family here, take your children to play under the same weeping willows in the Public Green that your grandparents had met beneath. And then one day, in the purging heat of the summer after your sophomore year of college...you woke up and realized that all those comforting things suddenly felt like a cage, that your fingers were threading bars made of your family and your friends and every grain of soil in Boston. Patricia is dreadful, of course, and has been since you arrived at Massachusetts General nine months ago; but she’s not what you’re running from. “It’s this hospital, it’s this city, it’s Boston. I was born here and I cherish it, don’t get me wrong, but I want to see the world. Mountains and lakes and cathedrals and castles and...and...you know. All the rest.”

“That’s how I felt about Cornwall when I was a kid,” Roger confesses. “I’d take my little acoustic guitar out into the backyard and look up at the sky as I played and think, ‘Is this really it? Am I ever going to get beyond all this to something more?’”

“Yes, yes, well no one asked for your autobiography, blondie,” Freddie quips. Roger chuckles, entirely unoffended. “Continue, dear.”

You think before you respond. When you do speak, it comes out heavier than you mean it to, more serious, more pained, whispered, your voice splintering. “I guess I just don’t want to die without really living first.”

The boys watch you for a while: Brian poised and pondering, Freddie seeking, Roger empathetic, John very quiet. John has spoken—at the absolute most—five words to you since you’ve met him; but you know he can get chatty with Freddie or Rog on occasion, and so you’ve held out hope that you can still win him over. Now you’re almost out of time.

At last, Roger raises his beer, smiling, showing the tiny points of his canine teeth. “Cheers to that.” And it sends something through you like a one-way ticket into a brand new world.

You laugh nervously. “Okay. Wow. Enough of all that, I have to go save lives now.” You wash your hands in the sink and pull on a new pair of gloves, dodging Roger’s large, affecting eyes.

“Do you have a boyfriend, lovely Clara Barton?” Freddie asks. They know your actual name, they’ve known it since night one, but they’ve taken to referring to you as whatever famous nurses they can recall from high school.

“Freddie,” Brian admonishes.

“What, I’m just asking—”

“No, actually, I don’t,” you tell Fred. “Why, do you want a Green Card?”

“Darling, no offense, but if I was going to marry for strategic purposes I would aim for someone far older and astronomically richer. With life insurance.”

“Thanks, Freddie.”

“You’re quite welcome.”

“Are you single? Since we’re all sharing our life stories.”

“I’m not,” he replies, somewhat cagily. “None of us are. Well, Brian certainly isn’t, and Deaky wasn’t last I checked, although he’s tricksy and awfully quiet about the whole affair, so I ought to confirm that at some point...how about you, Rog?”

Roger chokes on his beer and wipes his dripping nose with one fuchsia sleeve. “Uh, I, uh, yeah, yeah, uh, I’m single. Yes.”

“Oh?” Brian says, eyebrows raised. “Someone should probably inform Josephine.”

“That’s a casual thing. Super casual. Not exclusive.”

Freddie and Brian exchange a glance: an amused, smirking, what else can you expect from Roger? glance. You try to smirk at Roger too; but he shrugs guiltily, endearingly, with some mesmerizing spell of danger and innocence and wildness and beauty, angels and demons that you didn’t know could coexist without clubbing each other to death. And you mean to file this away as a warning, a reminder to keep your distance; but it feels more like blowing on embers until they leap into flames.

Bad idea, lady. Really, really, really, exorbitantly bad idea.

“Alright, I’m out. Brian, you have the call button if you need it. There’re extra cups and napkins in the cabinet and—”

You open the door. Patricia is halfway down the hallway and approaching quickly, glinting-eyed, stone-faced, keys grasped in her hand. A glimpse at your watch informs you that your break ended two minutes ago. You swing the door shut.

“Get out!” you whisper urgently, and Roger bolts for the window. He pitches his beer outside and helps John climb through the opening and drop safely to the ground below.

“Fred!” Roger hisses, waving, and he lowers Freddie out of the window next as you kick snack wrappers and empty bottles beneath Brian’s hospital bed. Bri smooths his blankets, turns off his lamp, shakes the peanuts out of his hair that John lobbed there. You rush to Roger as you hear keys rattling against the door.

“Here, I’ll help you...” Without thinking, you take his hands as he hesitates in the open window and steady him as he crawls out. You can see Freddie and John down in the darkness, reaching up to catch Roger when he falls. A sudden wave of mourning grips you. I’m never going to see them again. “Bye,” you say, without any cleverness at all. But Roger smiles like it’s the best thing he’s heard in weeks, maybe months, maybe ever. He glances to where your hands hold his.

“Bye,” he replies in that raspy, radiant voice. And then he’s gone.

You sigh shakily. You turn around. Patricia stands in the open doorway.

“Oh,” she says, grinning like a shark, almost gloating. “You are so fired.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“We’re sorry, we’re so sorry, you have no idea how—”

“It’s fine, Roger.”

You’re standing under a lamppost just beyond hospital property at 7:15 a.m. Your shift is over, your very last shift at Massachusetts General; Roger waited outside to meet you all night. There are swollen shadows beneath his eyes, his cheeks are flushed with fury and mortification, he’s edgy and pacing and chain smoking. The sun is bright and already hot, the Arctic terns cawing and swooping overhead.

“It’s not fucking fine,” he flares. “We got you fired—”

“Roger, I was miserable there. I was jaded and complacent and I felt trapped, I felt like I was standing in cement, I felt like I was suffocating and I didn’t know how to bail myself out of it or how to explain any of this to my parents. But now...thanks to Queen...I’m free. I got the shock I needed. I can move on.”

“You didn’t deserve to leave like that,” he insists menacingly. “That bitch isn’t going to write you recommendations. You were good at what you did, you were really fucking good, Brian was despondent before you took over. You deserved better.”

You shrug. “Life’s not fair, Rog.”

“That’s the truth.” He takes a drag off his cigarette and you hold out your hand. He stares at you, perplexed, but passes the cigarette. You smoke a few puffs, then give it back. Roger smiles. “I thought that was extremely bad for you.”

“Most of the best things are.”

“Well.” He shuffles his feet anxiously. “I have a proposition.”

“Yeah?”

“Since you’ve successfully untethered yourself from all your unfulfilling earthly obligations...come to London with us.”

You feel your jaw fall open, feel all the tension in your muscles unravel as the numb shock rolls through you. “Uh. I was thinking maybe the Peace Corps or joining a travel nursing agency or something.”

Roger winks and nudges your shoulder with his. “Transatlantic flights to London count as travel.”

“That’s...accurate...”

“No, seriously!” Rog presses. “Look, every time a band tours, the company hires a medic or a nurse to go with them. They stitch up busted faces, sanitize infected tattoos, prevent us from dying of alcohol poisoning, ice knocked-out teeth until we can get to a dentist, the works. We’re going to be recording as much as possible in London, but Brian will be on bed rest for most of the next few months. You can take care of him. Keep his spirits up. You’re good at that. We’ll all chip in to pay you if the company won’t, Freddie and John have already agreed to it and I know Brian will as soon as I ask. Then, when we inevitably go on tour again...you can be our travel nurse.” He grins confidently, electrifyingly, like he’s figured out all of life’s thorniest questions.

“Rog, I really appreciate the offer, but...uh...this is really too much, and I have no travel nurse experience whatsoever, and...and...look, you are all really talented, I mean that, but you have some seriously chaotic energy and I’m not sure global fame is in the cards for Queen—”

Roger interrupts you brusquely. “You said you love what you do. So you like taking care of people, right?”

“I do, yeah.”

“And you want to see the world.”

“Absolutely.”

“And you think we’re fun, don’t you? Exciting? Audacious? Reckless enough to keep you busy with the fallout of frequent near-death experiences?”

“That sounds about right.”

“So...” He waggles his blond eyebrows. “Come with us.”

You look up into the mid-June sky, as blue and churning as the Boston Harbor, and try to imagine it: packing your suitcase (you really don’t need to bring all that much), digging your passport out of your jewelry box (you know exactly where it is), telling your parents that you’re jetting off to Europe the next day (they would accept it, maybe they’d even be proud; you’d finally be striking out on your own), renting some cheap little apartment in London (you have enough savings to get you started).

“Accept the offer,” Roger says.

“I really don’t think—”

“Accept the offer.”

“—I just couldn’t impose like that, I mean you’re not making any money yet and—”

“Accept the offer.”

“—You guys shouldn’t feel like you owe me this just because I happened to—”

Roger cradles your face with rough hands, gazes fixedly into your eyes, and smiles blindingly. “Love,” he says. “Accept. The fucking. Offer.”

Bad idea, terrible idea, literally the worst idea in the history of human civilization.

“Okay,” you reply softly.

“Okay, like, for real okay?”

“Yeah.” And entirely against your will, you break into a grin. This is the start of the rest of my life. This is the graveyard of familiarity.

“Yes!” Roger cheers. He takes your left hand, raises it to his lips, bites you lightly across the knuckles: some feral, ludicrously on-brand vision of Roger as a Disney hero. I’m the Lady and he’s the Tramp. I’m Sleeping Beauty and he’s the Prince who’s going to finally wake me up, even if it means slaughtering a dragon or two.

“Cute,” you say sarcastically. But, actually, it sort of is.

“Can I walk you home?” Roger asks. “You live around the corner, right? I can help you pack. Oh, wait, maybe I should shower first, I don’t want your parents to see me like this...I am a literal ashtray...my hair is ridiculous...I think I still have some eyeliner on...is the fuchsia jacket too much...?”

You watch Roger as he scrutinizes himself fretfully, his words fading out of the picture, the world becoming a silent film. You can’t look away. If Brian’s a willow tree and Freddie’s a lightning storm, what is Roger? Wildfire, you decide.

He follows you through breezy, shaded Boston streets to the house at the intersection of Apple and Arcadia, with the solemn promise that he can borrow your shower and an old pair of gym shorts. You know he’ll charm your parents instantly, that they’ll fall in love with him. Everyone does.

When you look down at your left hand, there’s a vanishing silhouette of a bruise where he bit you; and if you really think about it you can feel that it still burns.

[rogsclogs]

Some Day One Day (Brian May x Reader); part 5

Hello there! The first half of this was already written before my laptop died on me weeks ago, so I was able to finish it pretty quickly. I hope you enjoy, can’t wait to get on with this story. Feedback is always appreciated :)

Taglist: @brighter-thanthe-sky @im-a-sheerheartattack @fruityfreddie @discodeacygotmorerhythm @ladylannisterxo @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @queenismylifenow (if you want to be tagged please message me)

previous parts are found under the ‘some day one day’ tag!

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Brian spent the whole 25 minutes between the phone call and Y/N’s arrival pacing around his living room in a worn out shirt and a pair of briefs, his mac and cheese long forgotten and his mind lost in space. He’d tried to tidy the house a bit, hiding dirty clothes and his daughter’s toys under the bed and in old plastic boxes, but his nerves couldn't let him focus on one task and he ended up ignoring most of the chaos he’d made.

He didn't know why, but he truly wanted to make a good impression on Y/N and for her to like him for who he was, although he knew that wasn't the reason she was coming over. He shouldn't even have had those thoughts in the first place.

He stared at the door for a couple of minutes until the doorbell rang and he felt his heart try to break his ribcage apart. 

After taking a quick look at himself in the small mirror he had hung in the hallway and shaking his head at the image reflected back, disappointed at his appearance with bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d been experiencing lately and curly hair all over the place from running his hands through it way too often, he hurried to the door to not let her wait outside too long, considering how cold it had gotten that night.

When he opened it, he was shocked to see a very distressed Y/N who somehow looked tinier than usual with her shoulders hunched and makeup stains all over the soft skin of her face. Before he could stop his actions, he reached out and gently wiped the area under her eyes with his thumbs, holding her cheeks in his palms as she leaned into his right hand seeking comfort and affection. 

“Hi Brian”

“Hi my love, did you drive here?” He asked with concern, not wanting her to get behind the wheel in such a state.

“I did. It’s fine though, I’m a pretty good driver” 

“I don’t doubt that, but you should be careful. You could have asked me to come pick you up”

She shrugged and detached her eyes from his own, not needing to be scolded from him in such an emotional state. 

Brian stepped aside and finally let her in his apartment. She took notice of everything that surrounded her, the pictures on the walls and the shelves, the shoes that were left abandoned by the closet and the different pieces of forniture, some of which strongly contrasted with each other. She noticed an old black and white picture of a very young Brian holding a guitar and smiling at the camera and took it in her hands, admiring his features which she realized hadn't changed much since his youth days.

“You play?” For some reason that detail about him surprised her, maybe she thought someone as dedicated to physics as him couldn't have many other hobbies. To be honest, the guitar looked amazing on him, like he was meant to have it on himself at all times.

“I do. That picture is older than you probably, it’s from 1969. But yes, I do play, I’m in a band with a couple of my friends”

He smiled fondly at the memory of him and his three best friends playing for small crowds when they were younger and full of life as he watched Y/N take in every detail of his house. It wasn’t very big, anything he earned from his job he spent on spoiling his daughter, but it was cozy and homey, and Y/N thought it represented him very well, with scattered papers all around and posters of planets and galaxies almost everywhere. 

“I’d love to hear you play one day” she said before something caught her attention: a very tiny pink shoe left laying on the ground, which Brian must had forgotten to put back in its place previously. 

The thought of him having children had never crossed her mind for some reason, but in that moment she realized that she shouldn't have made assumptions, after all she knew almost nothing about him. He noticed her eyes wandering and took a close look at her reaction, not knowing what to expect from her.

“You.. have kids?” The words sounded even stranger on her tongue.

“I, uhm, I have a daughter, yes. Emily. Yeah. She's not here tonight though, don't worry” he blushed profusely at the idea of Y/N knowing about Em, he didn't even exactly know why but to him it was always a struggle to open up about anything even remotely personal. 

“I never thought you’d be the kind of person to have children Brian, but that's absolutely adorable”

He swiftly took his wallet from out of his old bag that he usually brought to school and pulled out a tiny picture of a very smiley, red cheeked and wide eyed little girl, proudly showing it to Y/N.

“This is her, she's the love of my life”

Y/N examined the picture, trying to find little clues that connected her to Brian and, in fact, finding many and realizing just how similar the two were. She was fascinated by the little girl and by the idea of tall, lanky professor May being a dad. 

“She’s beautiful, Brian. She looks just like you” she said after a while, hoping that with that statement she had made it clear that she thought he was also extremely beautiful. Actually, the word beautiful couldn't even begin to express the way she saw him, but it was a start.

He smiled fondly at the girl in front of him seeing genuine interest in her eyes. 

“You might meet her one day, I’d love for you to” as he spoke those words he realized just how true they were, he realized he wanted Em to get to know Y/N and watch movies about fairies and princesses with her, and he couldn’t understand why. Emily had a mother already, granted she wasn’t the most maternal person in the world, but she tried her best just like Brian did. Sometimes he felt like she didn’t do enough though, Emily would often come back home to him from a weekend spent with her mother craving affection and physical contact, so did that mean that her mother wasn't able to provide those things for her? He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Y/N grabbed Brian’s hand and held it close to her body without thinking twice, she knew that would bring her comfort and all she wanted was a break from the emotional pain.

“Sorry for getting here so late, you’re always so kind to me but you really didn’t have to invite me here, maybe you had better plans in mind than listen to me whine”

“Don’t even say that love, I couldn’t stand knowing you weren’t okay and not doing anything about it”

Brian lingered a bit longer than usual on the last words, wondering if it was alright for him to keep going.

“I have grown quite attached to you Y/N, I only want what’s best for you, I hope you never forget that” he decided to say.

Almost instinctively he opened his long and skinny arms, letting Y/N crash her head on his firm chest then wrapping them around her, bending his head so that his curls would caress her cheeks as she left tears stains on his shirt.

“I’m such a mess Brian, I don’t know how to go on from here, I feel lost, I mean, I wasn’t even able to pass this test and that's a clear indication that I’m never going to achieve anything in my life” she was able to shakily let out a few words in between sobs and sniffles. She didn’t know what pushed her to feel so free and able to let herself be emotional around a man that she clearly didn't know that well after all, but there was an aura around him that smelled like home and family and love, and Y/N had never had much of any of those things.

He knew she wasn't thinking straight and that she was allowing her negative thoughts and insecurities run wild and take over her brain, he’d been in that same position many times in his own life. 

“Take a deep breath baby, you’re fine and I promise you’re always going to be fine. If it takes us two more years to get you to pass that test than that’s how long we’re gonna be working for. You’re gonna achieve such great things in life and I can tell because you’re so young and yet so determined and willing to fight already, that's not something everyone has in them. You are special love, I truly want you to learn to see that. Failures teach us how to keep going, not how to quit”.

His words were wonderful and spot on, she didn't know how he always somehow knew exactly what to say in any circumstance, but in that moment she felt the need to cry her feelings out, and Brian didn't question her, he understood her even when she didn't say a word. 

“Shall we make tea? Would that make you feel better in any way? It’s not magic, but I can make it for you just like my mom used to make it for me when I was young and ill, it’s life changing I promise” he said with a gentle expression on his lightly freckled face. 

All Y/N had to do was nod and she suddenly found herself sat on the kitchen counter staring at the gentle giant in front of her who was currently fixing her tea, she didn't even have it in herself to wonder how she got there because for once she felt like that was exactly where she belonged.

Brian could feel her eyes on him the whole time and he didn't mind the attention at all.

He handed her a steaming cup and got one for himself. Silence surrounded them, but it wasn't an awkward one, it was rather calming for Y/N’s nerves and excruciating headache. She was able to recollect her thoughts and realize just how lucky she was to have his support available at any hour of any day.

“I should probably head back home soon Bri, if my parents find out I’m not in my bedroom they're going to flip on me”

“What did you tell them about the test?”

He didn't know anything about her parents apart from the few things that had slipped from her mouth every once in a while during their tutoring sessions, but the fact that their own daughter was currently at his apartment seeking help and emotional support instead of being with them told him more about the kind of people they were than any words could. 

“I just said that I tried my best and that I won’t know how I did for another couple of weeks at least, then I gave them a big fake smile and disappeared. I kept it simple”

Brian nodded understandingly then wrapped his arms around her once more, not for any specific reason, but he felt that she could have used an extra hug. He felt weird, in a way that he would never be able to explain to himself even years after these events took place. He felt his stomach twist in a nervous knot and an overwhelming urge to kiss the girl and never let go of her. He wanted to be physically and emotionally connected to her and show her that not everything in life was so terrible after all. He wanted her, night and day, all of her.

A big part of him, however, knew very well that what he wanted was morally questionable.

He couldn't just go and kiss her without at least talking to her about it first, what if that's not what she wanted? She could have gotten him fired if she’d spread the word to anyone in school. Was it worth risking his whole career over this one girl? (Yes, yes it was).

Maybe if she hadn’t been his student and years younger than him things would have been different, but anyhow he was able to keep those urges under control by holding her tighter against his body, allowing himself to pretend for a second things could actually be different. 

He couldn't believe his own conscience, but his feelings were stronger than anything he’d ever experienced and later on, when Y/N left his house despite his concerns about her safety and his offer to let her sleep over for the night, he found himself wishing he didn't have so much self control. 

[lacontroller1991]

Across the Universe (Gwilym Lee!Brian May x Reader)

PURE FLUFF UWU

You worked a 9-5 job at the planetarium. The planetarium where you spent most of your free time in when you were younger, and as you went through college the planetarium helped pay for your education. However, when you got out, they offered you a full-time job as an instructional tour director. Not that you complained. You loved the job. Your (e/c) shined with devotion and joy as you taught young kids about the universe outside of the place you called home. However, you were lonely, and the loneliness was something you were never fond of.

“(Y/N)!” Your boss called out to you from across the room causing you to stand up.

“Yes sir,” you replied as he smiled at you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“We have a big name coming in for a visit and I want you to be the tour guide,” he mentioned as you froze.

“How big of a name?” You asked timidly as he turned you around, making you look at the crowd that surrounded the door.

“Her majesty big.” Your eyes widened as the famous mop of brown curls walked into the welcoming room. You unconsciously smoothed out your blue dress and wiped your hands on your dress, ignoring the way your heart beat rapidly.

“You want me to escort Brian May around the planetarium?”

“Yep, you’ll do great!” He said before pushing you forward, causing you to stumble and fall in a pair of arms.

“Careful love, are you alright?” If it hadn’t been for the circumstance, you could’ve sworn that you’d faint.

“Uh yes, I’m fine, thank you.” You blushed as he lightly laughed, gently helping you up and placing you back on your feet.

“So, I am supposed to be meeting a (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for a tour, any clue of where she is?” He asked as you rubbed your neck, a habit you had since four.

“Actually, I’m (Y/N). Pleased to meet you.”

“Brian May. The name is Brian May. Pleasure is mine,” he smiled while you blushed more and let out a nervous chuckle.

“Well let’s get started shall we?”

“We shall.”

“So the building was built by James Cordner in 1873, however, it has been remodeled constantly and now we have a large viewing room for observers to observe the stars on cloudless nights.”

“What got you into space?” He asked as you smiled.

“I was a huge fan of the Beatles when I was younger and their song “Across the Universe” made me fall in love with the concept of space. Sounds cheesy but I mean it’s true,” you replied smiling at him as he nodded, looking around the room before rushing to a galaxy he saw on the wall.

“Is that the Messier 81?”

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites to look at. It was what I always imagined a galaxy to look like when I was younger.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sounds pathetic but I was young.”

“I think it’s cute,” he replied, causing you to blush before turning away and continue to walk.

“Come on, there is other stuff to see!” You called after him as he let out a laugh before walking to catch up.

As the day came to an end, a feeling of sadness washed over you at the thought of never seeing Brian again became a real possibility. Coming to a stop, you turned to face him, looking for a key in your pocket.

“Okay, so this is my secret place where I normally come up at night and just stare at the stars and watch the night pass to day,” you spoke in hushed tones, pulling out a key and unlocking the door, allowing you and Brian to enter. His mouth fell open as his eyes skimmed across the walls painted with stars, constellations, planets, and galaxies. A big telescope stood in the middle of the room as you pressed a button that opened the ceiling to reveal the hot summer twilight.

“It’s beautiful,” Brian commented as you took a seat in the chair by the telescope, beckoning him over to see the moon in your vision.

“Take a look,” you motioned for him to lean his head down towards the scope. After having a look, he leaned back up, almost bumping heads with you. Your breathing hitched in your throat as he leaned down. Both of your breaths laid on each other before he cleared his throat and moved away.

“Well, thank you for the tour, however, I must get back to the band, they’re probably wondering where I am.”

“Of course, I can walk you out,” you offered but he held up his hand, feeling guilty for leaving you behind.

“Thank you again. See you around,” he said before walking out, leaving you in your room that all the sudden felt empty.

Walking into the hotel, Brian saw his band sitting in the chairs, drinking various beverages.

“Brian! Where’ve you been?” Freddie greeted him first, bringing him into a hug as Roger and John looked at Brian with confused facial expression.

“What’s wrong Bri?” Deaky asked as Freddie let go, looking his longtime friend in the eyes, noting a hint of sadness.

“Didn’t you go to the Planetarium? Thought you would’ve like that,” Roger mentioned as Brian nodded his head before taking a seat and sipping a drink one of the waiters poured.

“I did. I had a great time.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Freddie asked as Brian sighed.

“There was this girl there, and I like her. Like a lot. She gets me, I get her. And I left her there.”

“Brian, go get her.” The words spoken were all Brian needed before he grabbed his guitar and rushed off to the limo, heading to get where you were.

You were sitting on the edge of the window with your feet hanging over the side as you felt the summer breeze gently blow your hair. You glanced up at the changing sky, thinking about the day you had.

“Hey (Y/N), I’m leaving, you’ll close up?” Your boss shouted, breaking your concentration.

“Yeah, sure!” You called back, hearing the door to your hiding place shut. Turning back to the sky, a soft guitar played in the background.

“Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,

They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,

Possessing and caressing me.

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world,

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Nothing's gonna change my world,

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,

That call me on and on across the universe,

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they

Tumble blindly as they make their way

Across the universe

Jai guru deva om

Nothing's gonna change my world,

Nothing's gonna change my world.

Nothing's gonna change my world,

Nothing's gonna change my world.”

You looked down and saw Brian playing on his guitar in a field of tall grass. You smiled before leaving the window as he continued playing and rushing out of the building. Running in the grass, you stopped when you came in front of him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I like you. I feel a connection and I know you feel one too. Listen, I have to finish the tour, but after the tour, I’d like to come back and spend some more time with you if you’d allow me to.” Brian stated as you stared at him in shock before nodding your head and hugging him.

“I would like nothing more than that.” You responded before pulling him down in a kiss, a kiss that felt like fireworks and a kiss that wouldn’t be the last, and suddenly, you felt like you wouldn’t be alone ever again.

[themarchblessing]

PROLOGUE

SABRINA

“So you really don’t think is a good idea?” I asked, picking up my glass of wine. I took slow sips waiting for a more honest response to the new journey I’m embarking on.

Corey cupped his hand over his mouth instead. He just shook his head and went back to eating.

“Well why not? Corey..I need an honest answer. You know your opinion matters to me. Why are you making this so difficult?” I whined, setting my glass down.

Corey threw his knife down and looked at me intently. Angrily even. “But Bri..a donor? You want a sperm donor to give you a fucking baby?! Where the hell is this even coming from?” he violently whispered.

Glancing around us to ensure no one was eavesdropping I pushed in closer to the table. “Yes! Time is not slowing down for anyone and I’m not getting any younger. What is so terrible about going through a donor?” I quipped. I’m not backing down from this. Corey usually he supports me on everything because he wants me to be happy. However, since I shared with him that I want to have a baby via sperm donor route, he’s been acting funny. I brought up the idea on the phone a couple of nights ago but since we’re both free tonight we agreed to get dinner. The reason for this dinner is to talk about the topic we’re on currently.

Corey and I have been friends since we were little. We’re close in age, have a lot in common, and laugh at the same crude humor. He’s my best friend. Corey isn’t a big relationship guy so he’s on and off with girlfriends. They’re more like flings that typically last about five months long and then he’s single again. He’s a traditional but a very sporadic and spontaneous dude. He’s rough around the edges but he’s really sweet once you spend enough time with him. He’s one of the types that you have to look past their aggressiveness to see the warmth. He’s lot kinder as a grown man than he was say fifteen years ago.

“Sabrina, I don’t know what you expect me to say. It’s just not right. What’s gonna happen if you meet a guy you like and then six months down the line, he finds out you're pregnant? What the hell are you gonna do then? How do you expect him to act? ‘Cause I know if it were me, I’d be pretty fucking angry that the woman I’ve been dating for half a year didn’t bother to share with me that she got pregnant through a fucking sperm donor. So excuse me if I’m not giving you the reaction you hoped for. It’s just wrong and it’s weird.” He guzzled down his drink and sat back in his chair, poking around at the little bit of food on his plate.

“Corey, I want this. I want to be a mom and this is the way I’m doing it. All I’m asking is that you be there for me, that’s it. You’ve always been there for me in the past and I really need you right now.” Leaning in to grab his hand I felt my heart swell at the sight of a woman pushing a baby in a stroller outside the restaurant. “That’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve got my family, my career, you..” Pausing I made Corey turn around to see what had my attention.

He turned back around and looked at me longingly. “Let me get you home,” he said flagging down our waiter. Corey took care of our meal while I left the tip under my glass. We left the restaurant and walked in silence back to his car. When he showed up at my condo before we came out he thought it would be nice of him to treat me to a night out. And it was aside from the conversation.

It’s a twenty four minute drive from The Alcove to my apartment. The whole ride was spent in silence since we listened music rather than speaking. He walked me up and thankfully he did because I’m feeling the wine hit me and I need a little help from someone I trust.

“Where’s your key?” he asked as we made it to my door. I dug through my jacket pocket finding the key in my secret pocket. “You’re gonna lose this one day Bri. I keep telling yo ass to put this on a key ring. Get in here..” he ushered me inside after he unlocked the door and pushed it open for me.

“Yeah yeah..” Shaking my head I kicked off my boots and walked down to my room leaving him at the door. He’s been here about as long as I’ve had the place so he can make himself at home any time.

“Bri, what you got in here!?” I heard him yell from the kitchen.

“Look! You have eyes!” I yelled back. While he truly made himself comfortable I undressed and took a shower now that I’m home for the night. I didn’t spent a long time in the bathroom being that I don’t want this fool to fall asleep here. He’s famous for that. Heading back out to my living room I saw Corey laid out on the couch with a half drank beer in his hand.

“Corey..” I called.

He turned his head in my direction looking me up and down. “I haven’t seen you dressed like this in years. You actually look comfortable for a change.” He joked, sitting up and placing the bottle on the magazine.

Rolling my eyes at the lame joke I trekked over to the kitchen looking for something to divulge my emotions into. I settled for ice cream and even grabbed an extra spoon knowing he’d want some too. “You still like sugar right? Being overseas didn’t rob you of your sweet tooth did it?” Taking a seat on the couch I took the lid off the container, setting it aside.

“No country could ever do that.” He assured. We welcomed the silence and doused our attention in Corey’s favorite movie from his childhood, Spiderman. I thought about our conversation tonight and couldn’t seem to shake the chip on my shoulder. I don’t want my best friend to hate me because of the way I’m going about having a baby. But this is my life and I’m gonna do whatever I have to to ensure my happiness. At any cost.

“Corey, I know this is weird for you. And I know it’s not the traditional way of going about a family but this is what works best for me. In between projects I can dedicate my time to finding a decent man to get to know. I’ve thought about this a lot over the last year and I’ve weighed all of my options and this one makes the most sense to me. Corey, I need you. Realmente te necesito.” Placing the ice cream container on my coffee table I turned to him. “Corey, look at me..” Softly gripping his arm I waited for him to face me so I know he’s paying attention. “You’re one of the most important people in my life. After my dad died, you were always my shoulder to cry on. Everything that I have gone through over the course of our lives, you have been there. And this time is no different. I need you to be here now. Me choosing to have a baby is serious and I’m gonna need you to just as much as I’m gonna need Ravyn’s crazy ass.” I proposed.

“Bri, you know I care about you like no other. All of my ex’s were jealous of you because how close we are. I don’t agree with your decision but I want you to be happy at the end of the day. Real shit. Just be careful. There’s a lot of irrational, crazy niggas out here and I don’t want to have to fuck any of them up. But for you I will.” Corey and I hugged it out and from there I know this journey will be one to remember. It’s also gonna be one for the books.

At the end of the day like Corey said, I just want to be happy. By the time my baby is here, I’ll be the happiest woman on the planet.

[popcartoonkabala]

The judicious judgement of Jupiter: “Justice”

Lets talk about Divine Politics for a second. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3G0rAwOIVI Traditionally, the divinity responsible over politics is the aspect of Jupiter, a.k.a Tzedek in Hebrew, “Justice” as in  “Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof” צדק צדק תירדוף                             Justice, justice you shall pursue” (Deuteronomy 16:20) Tzedek/Justice here is not to be defined as any kind of objective right or wrong as inherently binding. Tzedek/Justice is a social phenomenon, the making of enough peace through enough encouragement. How does Jupiter become the king of the Deities? Or Thor, Brihaspati or Marduk?

By making peace in the heavens, between the other forces. By affirming each one, and encouraging each to be Lord and Governor over it’s place. Like with the angels, the one that gives permission first and most is High over them All; most trusted most looked to for guidance and direction. The first hunger overcome, defeated and marginalized by they that would make cosmic order, through permission, invitation, comfort as well as security. But this is not “Justice” as we know it in modern English. Its has not the weight of inherent accuracy, perfection and vengeance at all: it meant accomodation, negotiation, and satisfaction, the true demand and art of Kings.  To make people happy: Jove = Jovial, good willed. http://jewishweek.timesofisrael.com/justice-justice-you-shall-pursue-on-the-ou-honoring-jeff-sessions/ There was a great controversy amongst religious Jews last week, as a generally philo-conservative social stance by the united Orthodox Union of Rabbis came under great internal moral criticism, provoking a fundamental crisis in poilitical social policy.

“Attorney General Sessions is a key figure for many of the OU’s policy objectives, and they have to play the hand dealt, not the one they wish they had been dealt. Organizations that must play the “long game” can little afford to burn bridges—and disinviting a major cabinet figure would do just that.

The plaque presented, bearing the original Hebrew of the verse,

“Justice, justice you shall pursue” (Deuteronomy 16:20) was made long before the implementation of the zero-tolerance policy for immigration.

To be honest, my first reaction when I saw the plaque was to think it a clever way to admonish the Attorney General. That verse from Deuteronomy is an imperative, an admonition. It is a mainstay of placards in Jewish social justice movements. “

It’s telling Be righter https://www.ou.org/blog/news/update-ou-takes-a-stand-on-zero-tolerance-immigration-policy/ And so they did. Tzedek Tzedek tirdof is double language-- I think because the nature of justification is attention to reaction. When at first, an attempt to be right socially leads to abusive excess, the other part of justice is balancing. Tzedek is a social phenomenom because the winds blow and the spirit changes. The new refreshes and reinforces. Keeps track, but also: washes away. It’s Ok. In Hebrew, to justify is Lhatzdik, and a truly righteous person is a Tzaddik. His Vedic name is “Guru”; not so different from “Tzaddik” as Educator and Role Model. But still relaxer and advisor, Aharonic and therefore priestly. This is why Zeus is reviled by the Hello-Gnostics as The Demiurge Itself, the main pretender to throne of the True G-d. Accomdation into stability are a crime if the whole stability is corrupt or worse. The OU gave Jeff Sessions an award in the hopes of doing good politics: he supported religious protections, so they functionalistically and pragmatically knew to honor him. But they did not realize who he was, what he was doing, what he was to be identified with. Splitting children from their parents is pretty horrible, especially to communities all too historically familiar with such a practice. A more completely alienated religious or social structure would certainly have found excuses or continuing to justify or just avoid mention of the offending act-- it didn’t happen in this particular case. Social sensitivity is bound up in a sort of affectionate pragmatism: it’s not enough to notice what’s right and to do it: one must be enthusiastic and moved from joy to do so. This is the difference between the “Jovial“ and the “Saturnyne”. Saturnian judgement is cold and alienated, swinging towards the destructive or rejective. The Jovial is upbeat and encouraging, full of hope. In classical astrology, reinforced by the tradition of R Eliezer of Worms and Nachmanides, the calm of Tzedek-the-planet, and the entire attendant concept, reflects its place of balance between Shabbtai/Saturn and Maadim/Mars, the upper triad above the Sun, the lower triad of Venus/Mercury/Luna being “wetter” and more embodied. The centrality of the Sun in this classical Heliocentric model, the secret of the Menora in the Temple in Jerusalem as well as the moving desert tabernacle (”mishkan”/  משקן), with the “Shamash” (sun) in the center and three lights on either side. Balance, in the Sefer Yetzirah, as well as Aristotle, Hegel etc, is the fundamental natural tendancy that all stability depends on. Ironically, this is only possible with a very flexible and and instinctive will, one that notices what’s going on, all the priorities in conflict as well as what peace or war is possible. It’s alot to ask, and as easy to do as caring and noticing, from strength, forever. The afformentioned R’Eliezer of Worms, in his medieval commentary on the Sefer Yetzirah, identifies Tzedek/Jupiter with Ahron HaCohen, the father of all Jewish Priesthood, and Shabtai/Saturn with Moses, father of all Rabbinic judgement and authority. Rabbinic Judaism identifies more with Moses, having taken authority away from the Sadducee Priesthood and given it to whoever can learn and argue more effectively, giving a version of logic and reason primacy over charismatic dishonesty, while still honoring the role of Cohanim as transrational peacemakers, too important not to honor with certain acknowledgements, especially teaching and song leading. Cohanim write most of the Bible-- the original Saducee is named Tzadok Hacohen after all, and is one piece of universally acknowledged and commemorated wisdom is: “Work not like the servant who works for reward, but serve from love of the master” This is the wisdom and glory of public service: the power to do that is so easy and relaxed yet engaged because it’s fun. This is the lightening of the storm king, Af-Bri “anger-health” the angel appointed to bring the rain in the fall. Good will and peace amongst life is the best politics, rain for all flow free. Donner and Blitzen bring all the solstice presents. Tzedek as Tzaddik is a mystery, except to the degree that a Tzaddik is defined by his faith and the will of the wind goes where it will.  Raining generosity is how gangsters and governement live, feeding people. That depends on being able to reach them, to notice what they care about. This is where Noga tempers and syncretizes with Tzedek in the aspect of Marge Simpson, the peacemaker who compells with grace, also as confirmed by the fusing of Jupiter and Venus into one to condense the 7 into 5, a holy chao in Robert Anton Wilson’s Illuminatus Trilogy appendices. There’s more to say on this. soon enough. Kabbalater waiters!

[atc74]

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

A/N: This kinda took on a life of it’s own from the one-shot it started as! Hope you like it! Beta’d by the ever amazing @just-another-busy-fangirl. I used the song ‘Never Felt Love’ by Little Big Town. 

Warnings: None that I can think of...

Word Count: 3541 with lyrics

It has been more than three years since I met the love of my life, but I didn’t know it until a year ago when Rob Benedict asked me out on that first date and the rest is our history. Truth be told, I was smitten with him three years ago when I first met him at during a photo op, but I was married and he was recently divorced, which I also didn’t know until a year ago.

The past year has been a roller coaster. You’ve been on a roller coaster, right? Or at least have seen one? The ups, the downs, the twists, the turns, the loop-the-loops. That is what love feels like. It has highs and lows. It has twists that you don’t see coming and loops that turn your insides to mush. My relationship with Rob was no different than that roller coaster that makes you squeal with delight, cry in fright, or fear you may throw up.

For the better part of the last year, Rob and I have been blending two families. Between the two of us, we have three children. Our kids met for the first time last Christmas when he arrived in Minneapolis for winter break with his two little darlings in tow. But as the roller coaster would have it, it wasn’t a smooth ride, not all of it at least. Do you have children? Well, even if you don’t, let me tell you; children fight, whether they are siblings or not. Things were no different with these three. They got along, but some of it was rocky. They now get along, mostly. But the important part is they have come to accept each other and I even heard the girls (mine and his) tell each other ‘I love you’ just a few weeks ago.

Life with Rob has been amazing, even when he isn’t here. He decided we needed a larger house just a few weeks after that winter break, so we purchased a larger, modest home in our same neighborhood. He didn’t want to uproot us completely, considering my daughter Olivia in all his plans, so she could stay in the same school. That is just one of the many reasons why I love him.

I work to maintain our home and some semblance of normalcy for my daughter since the split with her father. I also hold down a full time job. Rob commutes between Minneapolis and Los Angeles to be near his children when working. When he isn’t here or there, he can be found on tour most of the time. Our time together is tight, but it is never rushed. We cherish each moment, making the most of it when he is home.

In February, for our six month anniversary, he surprised me with a vacation. It was short and he worked for four solid days, but watching him in action at the Las Vegas Convention was mesmerizing. He is naturally charismatic and he and Rich make an amazing team. It helps that the fans love him, probably more than I do; they don’t have to pick up his dirty socks off the floor. The three days we had alone were filled with romantic dinners, shared stories from our childhoods of our fondest memories and as much time between the sheets as we could handle.

I have read a quote so many times that I feel it is now ingrained in me: ‘You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.’ I don’t know where I first read that, but it rings true. We have all experienced tragedy, love, loss, heartbreak, death, strength and weakness. I have also heard that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. More than forty years on this planet has taught me that both are true, although you don’t think so in the times when you need it most. Being loved by Rob has taught me things I never thought I would believe and loving him is easy because of who he is and who I am when I am with him. Is that sappy enough for you? Anywhoo...on with the story.

I think back as I drive and realized that I am happy for the first time in a long time. The Minneapolis Convention is two days away and I am on my way to the airport to pick up my girls. It is a crazy story really, if you thought about it. What are the chances? I met Rob. We dated and fell in love and now we are living together. Rob introduced my girls, Ana and Megs, to Jared and Jensen. Megs now lives with Jensen in Vancouver, while Jared splits his time between Vancouver and Ana. It is a crazy small world, isn’t it?

Rob isn’t due home for another day and Jared and Jensen don’t come in for three more days due to their filming schedule. I have my girls all to myself for at least one more night. We catch up all the way home and I couldn't have been happier. Until the call came in from Rob, that there are some last minute details that Creation needs him and Rich to finalize before Friday.

“What do you mean you aren’t coming home?” I asked Rob when he called just as we walked in the door. I heard Ana and Megs head downstairs with Olivia, providing me some privacy as I made my way to our bedroom.

“Baby, I just can’t. Our flight doesn’t even get in until after nine tomorrow, by the time Creation is done with us, it will be after midnight. We all have a very big weekend ahead of us and you deserve some quality time, just the three of you. Drop Liv off at your folks and live it up with the girls, Babe,” Rob told me.

“Now I am going to sound whiny cause I just want to see you,” I cried into the phone, “Robby, you haven’t been home in weeks. We miss you; I miss you.”

“I miss my girls, too, more than I can ever tell you,” Rob sighed on the other end of the line. “But I will see you Friday morning, bright and early. I love you, Honey.”

“I love you, too, Rob,” I whispered. “Fly safe, Babe.” I dropped my phone on the bed and flopped down dramatically before I decided I needed to pull myself together. I had guests and Liv didn’t need to see Mama like this before she spent a week with Gramma and Grampa.

The four of us ate a delicious dinner and before long, Olivia was snug in bed. The girls and I were on our second bottle of wine out on the back porch. We got our giggles out on the first bottle and then I started thinking out loud.

“He has been acting really weird lately, ya know? He didn’t come home last weekend because the kids had some school thing and the weekend before that it was a Con. I knew what I signed up for when I said yes to that first date, but sometimes, I don’t want it to be so hard,” I lamented and like the amazing, supportive friends they are, they listened with non-judgemental ears.

“Just another couple of days, Ang, then he will be home and you can be together. Megs and I don’t even mind that you won’t be with us Friday night,” Ana stated.

“After karaoke, you know you will be in his room, clothes flying everywhere and making noises that would make a porn star blush!” Megs laughed so hard she snorted.

“Yeah, two more days. Here is to good men, amazing love and the two best friends a girl could hope for,” I raised my glass to join theirs and we finished off another bottle.

~*~

Friday at the conventions were always a fun time. It was Rich’s favorite day and that made all in attendance giddy, the three of us included. It was also an easy day, not as much happened and there were fewer guests, the schedules were lighter so Rob had more free time...Usually. However, it didn’t appear to be working on our favor this time around.

Before I knew it, karaoke was over and I had only received one text from Rob, saying Rich needed him for rehearsal for the Saturday Night Special concert. I was unhappy with his explanation, but luckily, there was booze in our room and plenty of it. It was going to be a long weekend, if the start was any indication.

~*~

With my oh-so-handy VIP pass, I let myself backstage during Kim and Brianna’s panel on Saturday. I had a few Irish coffees under my belt and was going to let my Mr. Wonderful know exactly what was on my mind.

“Oh hey Ang, um, Rob isn’t here right now. He was rushed off by a volunteer, something about missing photo ops,” Matt stuttered when he saw the look of determination on my face. I looked closely at him and my guess is that my look went from determination to wrath, because he retreated as I advanced on him, my finger poking him in the chest.

“Matthew Joseph Cohen! If you do not tell me where my boyfriend is right now, so help me God, Mandyi will have to find a donor if she wants another baby!” I growled as I backed him into the wall.

“Ang, I swear, I don’t know where he is. He and Rich took off, said something about picking up a package but didn’t say anything else, except not to tell you,” Matt blurted out. For such a strong man, he really did cave easily.

“Matt, I am so sorry, I just miss him. Um, don’t tell him I was here, okay?” I hugged him quickly and darted from the room, looking for the nearest restroom to check myself before I headed back to join Ana and Megs. I could hide internal turmoil, but I preferred to keep a pleasing outward appearance; I hated giving people satisfaction and social media always caught the worst of it when it happened.

“Babes, I am skipping the rest of the afternoon. I have a headache, so I am going back to the room, I think,” I said as I rejoined them at the table.

“What happened, Ang?” Megs questioned.

“Nothing happened, Megs,” I told her.

“Angelina, spill it!” Ana was a little scary when the situation called for it.

“I don’t know! He wasn’t there. Matt said he and Rich took off, mumbling something about a package. I left. I didn’t even wait for Kim and Bri to get off stage like I planned,” I relayed.

“You go back to the room, the boys will be here in an hour or so anyway and we will come get you for dinner. Be ready at seven,” Ana kissed my cheek and I started the short walk to our hotel. We preferred to walk during the day and leave the car and driver for after dark. The warm sun and slight breeze did little to lighten my disposition, though. Ever since I got that call from Rob the other night saying he wasn’t coming home and now the girls were acting weirder than normal; something was going on, I could feel it. I was going to get to the bottom of it, but first I needed to make a stop. I called our driver on reserve and waited patiently for him to arrive.

~*~

I heard the door open and close, followed by giggles. Jensen’s deep laugh and Jared’s breathy chuckle spilled through the open bathroom door. I don’t know what had them going, but I could tell from the sounds that four of my favorite people were happy. I took one last glance at myself in the mirror. The cobalt blue, one shoulder dress was stunning and the strappy heels were just what I needed. Not bad, I thought to myself and worth every penny he didn’t even know he paid, but he would. I strutted out of the bathroom to join my friends.

My thoughts were echoed when I entered the living area of our suite and received a low whistle from Jensen, cat calls from Megs and Ana, while Jared just stood there, mouth open and eyes wide. “I take it from your reactions that this receives your stamp of approval?” I twirled once for the four of them.

“I don’t know what he did, Sweetheart, but he is going to be begging for forgiveness after one look at you,” Jensen smiled in approval, wrapping me in a tight embrace. “It’s going to work itself out, don’t worry your pretty little head.”

“I hope so, Jay. Thank you,” I whispered before he let me go.

“Let’s get this party started!” I exclaimed, grabbing my small clutch.

Dinner, although delicious and entertaining as always with this crew, was anticlimactic for me. Rob and Rich had not been able to make it; typical for the weekend so far. I was starting to worry that something was really wrong. I looked around the table at my best friends, so happy and in love, and it made me more than a little melancholy that Rob wasn’t there with me. I caught Ana and Megs as they exchanged glances more than once and it made me wonder all the more what was going on.

“I have to get back for sound check; don’t be late!” Jensen gave us all a wink, kissed Megs and then he and Jared were gone. I sent the driver a quick text to let him know we were ready and we finished our drinks. The ride back to the venue was reticent; as strange as it may be, I didn’t have much to say.

Once we arrived, we found our seats quickly as they were right in front of the band. I excused myself to head to the bar for a quick shot of courage in the form of Patron Silver, which I had sworn off since my early thirties due to the fact that it made me emotional and overly frisky. I was already emotional as it was and getting frisky was the farthest thing from my mind. As I entered the auditorium, I saw Rob talking with Ana, Jared and Megs, but as I approached my seat, he abruptly turned and got back on stage. I blinked back the tears that threatened to escape, threw my shoulders back and put on my best smile as I returned to my seat like I hadn’t seen anything.

An internal battle raged and I tried to push the negative thoughts away. Did I love him? Hell yes, with everything I had. As I watched him perform in front of all the fans, with his friends; that was what he lived for and was also one of the many reasons I loved Rob. The stage was the one place he is allowed to be himself and totally free. Did it make me a little sad? Yes, I can’t lie about that. This was the man I missed most when he was away.

We were already an hour into the concert when the stage was plunged into darkness. I could see shadows moving around and I saw Rob in his spot, but that was about all I could make out. Then a single spotlight shone brightly on the love of my life. His face covered in sweat, that cute, little hat perched atop his head as he addressed the crowd.

“I want to thank everyone for being here tonight. We have a special song that we have been working on that we would like to perform for you tonight. Jensen, Kim, Brianna?” Rob called from his mic.

Three more spotlights lit up the stage opposite Rob as the three stars took their places. The music started and that stupid, persistent tear made another appearance. This was the first song Rob ever sang to me.

I've seen it come and I've watched it go

The ins and outs and the highs and lows

Well I gave my heart and I paid the cost

For the loves I made there were friends I lost

At the point I'd almost had enough

Like the morning sun you woke me up

You held me close and you help me see

Oh you made a believer out of me

Now I'm alright, I've got you in my life

And I never felt love, ever feel so right

It's a miracle and a mystery

How the hands of fate brought you to me

I had lost all hope, had lost all faith

With each kiss you loved my fear away

Now I'm alright, I got you in my life

And I never felt love ever feel so right

Well it's good to feel and for once I know

That I'll never have to worry about you letting go

No matter where this road may lead

As long as I've got you with me

I'll be alright, I've got you in my life now I'm alright

And I've never felt ever love feel so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love

Never felt so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love

Jared appeared out of nowhere and took my hand in his as he pulled me from my seat and toward the stage steps. I saw Rob still strumming his guitar as he walked to side of the stage and down to me. He reached for my hand and I took it without question. He lead me back on stage with him as he finished out the song.

I'll be alright, I've got you in my life now I'm alright

And I've never felt ever love feel so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love

Never felt so right

Never felt love ever feel so right

Never felt love

The crowd broke into applause and Rob removed his hat and bowed dramatically. I had to hold myself back from grabbing him by the face and pressing my lips to his. That was not something we had done before, not at a convention. I settled for lacing my fingers with his.

“For anyone who doesn’t know, this stunning woman next to me is my girlfriend, Angelina. This is the very first song I ever sang to her, for her. She is the light and the love of my life. I met her three years ago in this very building and have never been happier. I have a small confession and a big apology,” Rob looked over at me and I felt one tear escape it’s lashed prison as I made eye contact with him.

“I have been pretty busy and rather absent lately and I miss my girl. Honey, I am sorry that I haven’t been home as much as either one of us would like, but I have good reason. Jared, a little help please?” Rob explained to me as the audience watched, rapt with attention, and Jared slid up next to him and placed a small box in his hand.

“I had some business that could not be avoided for good and bad. Ang, I love you more than life itself. I thought I had love, but I have never experienced this before you. You make me a better person, a better father, a better partner, and I cannot imagine spending another day without you in my life.” Rob was now speaking directly to me and the crowd slowly faded from view as I saw him drop to one knee in front of me.

“Will you give me the chance to make you happy each and every day for the rest of my life?” Rob opened the small box and in it was the most beautiful, brilliant blue ring I have ever seen.

I dropped to my knees to get as near him as possible before I nodded. I wasn’t an emotional person to begin with and I despised crying, but those tears were making it impossible for me to form words. I did what I wanted to do since the song ended and I grabbed his face with both hands, pressing my lips to his. The kiss was sweet and salty, as we were both crying now, but it was officially the first kiss of the rest of our lives. Rob slid the ring on my finger as I heard Jensen congratulate us as we got to our feet.

“Supernatural Family...I present to you the future Mr. and Mrs. Rob Benedict!” Jensen screamed into the mic and the crowd went wild. Rob held me tight to him as my face lit up.

“By the way, you are killing me in that dress and I can’t wait to rip it off of you!” Rob kissed me once more.

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[steveburgos121]

Stolen from Aguilar

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Briana Ileen Aguilar Burgos
2. Are you outgoing or shy? I am mostly outgoing but tend to stay to myself.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My girlfriend but im fucking scared cause her parents lowkey want to kill me
4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes unless you’re an ignorant asshole
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yes but they would probably make me do something funny, record it, then help me.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who are short, have a little girl voice, can have their hair look so good when it’s up, can rap No Vaseline by Ice Cube, have a dog named charger, the first letter of their first name is B and make fun of my big head.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes this girl is now stuck with me forever. As soon as she kissed me she sold her soul to me 
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Selena Gomez 
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah it’s natural, unless you mention my parents doing it then fuck you 
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My homegirl Aguilar 
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? Please keep your head amor. Everything is okay 
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
1.) Chanel - Frank Ocean
2.) Ain’t It Funny - Danny Brown
3.) Legend Has It - Run The Jewels
4.) Land Of The Free - Joey Bada$$
5.) Am I Wrong - Anderson .Paak (I know one of these isn’t like the others) 
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? No it’s uncomfortable cause my hair looks fucking flawless… unless you’re my girlfriend then pull my hair while you’re at it
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes, there’s a lot of good things that happen to people for it to all just be coincidence 
15. What good thing happened this summer? I finally let go of a lot of tension that I slowly built up for two years 
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Without hesitation tf BRING THAT ASS HERE BOIII
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes, the universe is to big for us to be the lonely ones 
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Ha no
19. Do you like bubble baths? I haven’t taken one in a long time so maybe
20. Do you like your neighbors? Don’t really know them 
21. What are your bad habits? I have the worst fucking memory in the history of ever
22. Where would you like to travel? Coachella 23. Do you have trust issues? Terrible 
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Laying in bed after a long day
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Stomach or Neck
26. What do you do when you wake up? Go back to sleep
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Lighter, I wanna be a light skin
28. Who are you most comfortable around? My family, cousins, and Briana
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No just they’re sorry but didn’t explain why
30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, I’m planning to wife her down
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? I tried to grow my hair out last year, I gave up after 7 months
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I don’t know that’s weird to think about maybe Katy 
33. Spell your name with your chin. Sgecr 
34. Do you play sports? What sports? I started running Track this year, one of the best decisions I’ve made in awhile 
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Ha fuck tv 
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? I think everyone has
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing I just make weird noises from my mouth, like clicks or pops
38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Look @ answer 6
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Urban Outfitters, Finish Line, Hot Topic
40. What do you want to do after high school? Go to college
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes, people are human and it sucks 
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I don’t want to interact 
43. Do you smile at strangers? No that makes me and probably them feel uncomfortable 
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? That’s so hard because space would be crazy but imagine what kind of things you could see at the bottom of the ocean… this one is hard
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Trying not to fail school and dropping out to become a stripper 46. What are you paranoid about? If I’m ever good enough 47. Have you ever been high? No but it would be interesting to try it out 48. Have you ever been drunk? Nah fuck alcohol 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not recently, I’m not sure if ever 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Red, my Nike hoodie I wear to track 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Someone who isn’t always angry all the time 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My height, I wanna be taller 53. Favourite makeup brand? All of them 54. Favourite store? Finish Line 55. Favourite blog? Frank Oceans 56. Favourite colour? Marine blue or dark red 57. Favourite food? Spaghetti or chicken bread 58. Last thing you ate? Cocoa Pebbles 59. First thing you ate this morning? A sandwich my loony made me 60. Ever won a competition? For what? My track team won our first meet by 28 points if that counts 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No I’m a good boy 62. Been arrested? For what? Still a good boy 63. Ever been in love? Currently 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? We were watching Netflix in eight grade 65. Are you hungry right now? I’m always hungry it sucks 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? My only tumblr friend is my girlfriend in real life so I like them evenly 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook sucks ass 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tweet tweet motherfucker 69. Are you watching tv right now? I don’t even have a tv in my room 70. Names of your bestfriends? Briana, cutie, Aguilar, hot stuff, cutie with the bootie, wifey, princess Bri, baby Bri, on and my lovely girlfriend. 71. Craving something? Look at question 1 72. What colour are your towels? Blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 I need more fluffy ones 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? With two yes 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Like 4 I think 75. Favourite animal? The one with hair and eyes 76. What colour is your underwear? Dark blue and grey 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie Dough 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? A non existent color 80. What colour pants? Sky blue shorts 81. Favourite tv show? THE WALKING DEAD 82. Favourite movie? Logan , ever since I watched it I haven’t stopped thinking about it 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean girls, never seen the second one 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 Jump Street, that shit is hilarious 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The girl 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? That’s so hard to choose 87. First person you talked to today? My Father 88. Last person you talked to today? My amorcita bonita 89. Name a person you hate? Miguel 90. Name a person you love? Briana 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Miguel 92. In a fight with someone? Not at the moment 93. How many sweatpants do you have? I had two but my girlfriend stole and I think I lost the other one 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 10 maybe a little less 95. Last movie you watched? Get Our 96. Favourite actress? Dafne Keen 97. Favourite actor? Hugh Jackson and Robert Downy Jr. 98. Do you tan a lot? When I was lifeguard yes 99. Have any pets 4 little dogs 100. How are you feeling? Very very very tired 101. Do you type fast? Not really, this has taken multiple days. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? A couple things, maybe not in the future 103. Can you spell well? Well 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes but then I remember who tf I am 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but I want to go to one that would be cool 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes it’s funny 107. Have you ever been on a horse? In Mexico in like 2006 108. What should you be doing? Sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? I can’t see my girlfriend for a month 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? I’m not sure 111. Do you have trust issues? Wasn’t this question already asked? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Briana, like a million times 113. What was your childhood nickname? I didn’t have one 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes multiple times, Cali and Mexico 115. Do you play the Wii? No but I should start playing it again 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Lite Weight by Anderson .Paak 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I think so? 118. Do you like Chinese food? Fuck yeah, especially P.F Changs ughhhh I want some now 119. Favourite book? I think it would be a tie between The Great Gatsby and Man’s Search for Meaning 120. Are you afraid of the dark? Nope the dark is the most relaxing thing in the world 121. Are you mean? Lowkey yes and I hate it 122. Is cheating ever okay? 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Yes, I could probably be a sneaker head if I wanted to 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No you can’t love someone without getting to know them dafuq this isn’t a Nicholas Spark book get that shit out of here 125. Do you believe in true love? Of course, I never knew how strong it was until I got my best friend 126. Are you currently bored? I’m doing my psychology book review so yes 127. What makes you happy? My girlfriend, family, music, and track 128. Would you change your name? Nah I actually have learned to really like my name 129. What your zodiac sign? ♋️ 130. Do you like subway? I liked it better when I got it for free 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Date the shit out of her 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Your mom jk my novia 133. Favourite lyrics right now? I see both sides like channel 134. Can you count to one million? Is that even possible? 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I’m 12 inches my mans 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed but I want them open 137. How tall are you? 5'7 138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette 140. Summer or Winter? Summer fuck snow 141. Night or Day? Day I hate nights 142. Favourite month? October 143. Are you a vegetarian? No maybe I should be… SIKE I love my meat 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate 145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee 146. Was today a good day? Yes my highlights were my baby and track practice 147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? We gon be Alright 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes shit is scary 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “If my lack of emotion had not surprised me from the standpoint of professional interest, I would not remember this incident now, because there was so little feeling involved in it.”

[whatisonthemoonarchive]

Confessions of a Deprogrammed Trump Supporter

Originally posted here: strategic-culture.org/news/2021/01/22/confessions-of-a-deprogrammed-trump-supporter/

As many people are aware, CNN recently aired a wonderful interview by former Moonie-turned-cult-deprogrammer Steve Hassan giving advice to Americans wishing to deprogram their MAGA-hat wearing loved ones, now that the age of Trump is coming to an end.

Video included in the original post: https://youtu.be/TnblPVMEYAc

I was fortunate enough to have read Hassan’s book and had the loving scrub-brush of truth wash my brain of all of its formerly pro-Trump sympathies and can honestly say that I am most certainly better off for having left those old delusions in the past.

For one thing, I used to enjoy my right to free speech… but thanks to the terrible events of January 6, 2021 that left 3 people dead, horned Q supporters doing photo ops for media, pro-Trump rioters let into the capitol building by guards, and busloads of conspicuous violent figures whom some say were “provocateurs” (whatever that means), I have come to realize that I was all wrong. Free speech is actually very dangerous. Words we took for granted like “patriot”, “nationalism”, or “vote fraud” are actually very racist and using them is a sure fire sign that you might be a domestic terrorist. At any rate, using them should at least be enough to get someone banned from social media and put under surveillance.

For a long time, I thought that record numbers of Black and Hispanic voters supporting Trump in 2020 meant that Trump was not racist, but I now realize that these poor folks just suffered from “multiracial whiteness”.

I thought that questioning voting machines that had been caught red handed manipulating elections across the world was patriotic and that somehow some conglomeration of Big Tech, the media, intelligence agencies and a thing called “deep state” were colluding to create a color revolution in the USA… but I now realize that I was actually supporting conspiracy theories and thus violence and thus domestic terrorism.

I was so far gone that my pre-deprogrammed self was actually persuaded in the crazy idea that depopulation agendas hid behind the cover of a “Great Reset agenda”, concocted by a shadowy elite of sociopathic oligarchs. I have now learned that this was either a silly conspiracy theory, the result of my own delusions or if it was true, then I can at least say with certainty that it is all for my own good.

The truth that I have now come to discover, is that free speech has just gone too far. This practice has reached its limits, and Twitter’s legal executive Vijaya Gadde is absolutely right. Social Media should do its civic duty and extend its censorship of “dangerous thoughts” to citizens and political officials outside of the USA in order to protect the world from itself. If other world leaders are worried about this new truth, then they should seriously do some soul searching and learn to think differently.

The old me is long gone, and now all I can say is “thank god” Joe Biden has found himself in the position of leader of the free world at this historic moment of change.

For awhile it was looking like Donald Trump would actually stop forever wars, and untie the U.S. military’s involvement from the CIA. That white supremacist actually came precariously close to destroying the foundations of globalization that many enlightened billionaires had put decades of energy into organizing- first destroying Obama’s Transpacific Partnership, then the Paris Climate Accords and THEN he had the nerve to scrap NAFTA itself by giving nation states a say in economic affairs!

He even committed the sin of criticizing NATO itself- the very foundation of western collective security from the obvious threats of Russia and China!

He called for insane things like “bringing back manufacturing to the USA”, “restoring protectionism”, and “making space exploration and arctic development a priority for the nation” and everyone knows that this is all so 1963.

But now the “disturbance” is over, and the age of Biden has arrived!

Joe Biden is a man who understands what liberal values and the “rules-based order” are really about.

He was wise enough to get onto the unipolar bandwagon before it was popular by drafting the 1994 surveillance bill that John Ashcroft later used verbatim for the Patriot Act after 9/11.

He was smart enough to know that Wall Street couldn’t lead America into the 21st century as long as Glass-Steagall was in place and voted for its repeal in 1999.

He was one of the loudest supporters of NAFTA which helped reduce carbon emissions drastically by exporting dirty industrial jobs oversees where they should be.

He also gave the Credit Card companies the political support they needed to stop citizens from abusing their generosity which went a long way to help Americans build character and take responsibility for their short sighted consumer decisions.

After 9/11, Biden also brilliantly supported the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq (who may not have had anything to do with 9/11 but at least showed the terrorists who’s boss).

Unlike those cultish Trumping fascists, Biden was courageous enough to proclaim even before the horrible insurrectionary riots of January 6th, that a new Patriot Act/Domestic Terror Bill would be needed to purge the republic of dangerous terrorism and the insidious thought crimes which spread doubt in honest elections, and distrust in the benevolent political structures leading the western world. Thinking people know, that thought does sometimes cause action… and if we want to truly remedy wrong actions like the riots of January 6th, or dangerous COVID-denialism, then we should most certainly take the battle to the realm of the mind.

The brilliant Steve Hassan even recognized this reality in his CNN interview when he said that “the bottom line is all of America needs deprogramming because we’ve all been negatively influenced by Donald Trump.”

Sure, some people think that the 46 deaths and 32 riots caused by Antifa and BLM over the past six months might qualify as domestic terrorism, but that’s only because they are infected with racist wrong think and don’t realize that these groups were just fighting against fascism and racism.

Certainly, the first 100 days after Biden’s inauguration will be inspired.

Already, Biden has made commitments to sign the USA back onto the legally binding Paris Climate Accords to help us win the war against climate, and has shown the good sense to reverse Trump’s disastrous decision to break the anti-China TPP in 2016. Biden always said he would renegotiate the TPP in order “to hold China accountable”, and everyone knows Trump’s selfish decision only helped China by freeing up its neighbors to work together on the BRI. If only Trump hadn’t killed TPP, then the 14 nation strong Regional Cooperation Economic Partnership which China just finalized would never have happened.

Most importantly, our benevolent overlords who meet at Davos every year are happy once more and have even kicked off Biden’s inauguration with a special celebration entitled “the Davos Agenda” running from January 25-29. According to the WEF, this event will “mark the launch of the World Economic Forum’s Great Reset Initiative and begin the preparation of the Special Annual Meeting in the spring. Each day will focus on one of the five domains of the Great Reset Initiative.”

The USA’s new Special Envoy on Climate, John Kerry, captured the excitement of this wonderful moment perfectly when he said: “The notion of a reset is more important than ever before… we’re at the dawn of an extremely exciting time.”

According to the Great Reset architects, this is definitely the right idea.

WEF President Klaus Schwab has taught us that the “age of owning things” is so passe, and we know that this obsolete relic of capitalism isn’t compatible in our new age of global peace and brotherhood.

Ownership of “things” just makes us selfish and forget about the real purpose of life.. which is really about sacrifice. Establishing new supranational organizations to manage the levers of consumption and production according to evidence-based standards and scientific realities of carrying capacity is the only remedy to the evils of populism and being ignorant to this reality doesn’t lessen the fact that boards of experts who are smarter than you say that it is so.

According to the WEF’s Great Reset website global CO2 output collapsed by over 7% during the 12 months of global COVID-19 shutdowns… which means the COVID-19 is more of a blessing than many dim witted selfish nationalists who like owning things realize.

So what if the world population will contract under the shutdown of the world economy under COVID lockdowns? And so what if we lose our capacity to support industrial civilization through the imposition of global green energy grid?

Didn’t the late great Maurice Strong (who was WEF Executive Director and father of the Great Reset), ask the question in 1991:

“What if a small group of world leaders were to conclude that the principal risk to the Earth comes from the actions of the rich countries? And if the world is to survive, those rich countries would have to sign an agreement reducing their impact on the environment. Will they do it? The group’s conclusion is ‘no’. The rich countries won’t do it. They won’t change. So, in order to save the planet, the group decides: Isn’t the only hope for the planet that the industrialized civilizations collapse? Isn’t it our responsibility to bring that about?”

So get ready for an exciting time in history, and hopefully China finally learns that the new world order is Unipolar – with a big green hug for all well behaved leaders who get rid of such silly ideas as “nationalism”, “industrial progress” or “ending poverty through development” which dangerous concepts like the Belt and Road Initiative threaten to unleash. Most importantly, China has to really deprogram itself from her belief that Russia is a worthwhile partner in the 21st century. Xi made a good decision to attend this month’s Great Reset conference and both he and Modi would do well to abandon dirty fossil fuels, their support of nuclear energy development or space mining in order to adapt their realities to the computer models which have been telling us how to hitch our destinies to a world of entropy and diminishing returns.