#but here's hoping he was cuddling with hailee last night

[brianc521]

Nap Date~22

Feelings

She hasn’t left the house in three weeks.

Shawn has stayed with her, leaving for little bits to deal with work. He mainly wants to stay with her, go through this with her.

But when you stay locked up in a small space with the same person for long periods of times you start to become irritable.

“Baby, I have an appearance tonight. Wanna come?” He asks, walking around to get ready.

She’s laying in bed, curled into herself.

“Um, no not tonight.” She shakes her head, pulling the blanket over her more.

He’s had a stressful day. When you wake to your wife crying, and then having to hold her as her sobs take over her body is not the best way to start the day.

Then meetings and interviews, while worrying about her.

He’s also struggling to deal with the fact that she’s still in so much pain. It’s understandable, but she hasn’t gotten out of bed all week. He just feels so helpless and doesn’t know how to cope with it anymore.

“Okay.” He sighs, pulling a tie out of his side of the closet, eyes lingering on her side. Jaw clenching at the thought of the last time she even looked into the closet.

“You okay?” She asks softly, noticing he’s off.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna come? It might feel good to get out.”

“I don’t want to go Shawn, don’t push me.” She snaps.

He still has his back to her, eyes closing as he inhales deeply. He’s been dealing with this attitude, and it’s really starting to bug him.

He can’t make a small comment without her snapping at him.

He misses his wife. The one that had a smart ass comment for everything. The one always joking around, and so supportive. The one that was flirty and always wanted cuddles.

Now, he can barely touch her anymore. She freaks if he gets too close.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, walking to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

She sighs as she hears the shower turn on, cabinet doors slamming as he stomps around.

She knows that she’s not the same. She wants to be, wants to be the same. But she can’t help it. Every time she starts to think about doing something her brain triggers something and she just feels so awful.

She knows he claims that its not, but she can’t help but feel like it was her fault. And she doesn’t want to have to deal with the questions, and the looks from all of his fans. She just knows that when she does it will finally click for him, and she can’t handle him leaving.

She’s lost deep in thought as he walks out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his hips. His bare back has water droplets running down it, his hair is still wet and messed up as he grabs a new pair of boxers.

She just watches him, sits up hoping that he’ll talk to her. But he goes about his business, avoiding eye contact with her.

And she knows that she’s slowly losing him. He’s slowly slipping away from her and she doesn’t know how to fix that.

“Shawn.” She whispers, he stops digging in a drawer, looking over his shoulder at her.

And it’s moments like this where she feels that she’s not losing him. That she still has him, that he still loves her.

He gives her his big smile, eyes crinkling.

“Decide to come?” He asks, eyes so hopeful.

She takes a deep breath, looks down at her hands and her breath catches when she sees her ring.

For better and for worse, sickness and health.

“Can there be a car ready, just in case I want to leave?” She asks, voice so small.

He moves quickly to kneel in front of her. He takes her hands in his slowly, afraid she’ll jerk her hands away. But she lets him take them, lets him hold her hands and kiss the back of them.

“Of course, we can leave whenever you want to. I’ll be by your side the whole time.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He nods, holding her hands a bit tighter.

“Okay.” She scoots towards the edge of bed. “Do I have time to take a shower?”

“Yeah, just gotta be quick.”

She smiles, and just standing up has made her feel better. She smirks as a comment pops in her head. He stands in front of her, brushing her hair off her shoulders.

“Should have joined you when I had the chance.” She remarks, walking around him to the bathroom.

He stands there frozen for a second. He smiles, and turns to look at her. She winks at him through the mirror and leans over to start the shower.

She’s coming back to him, she’s looking more like herself.

**

She’s nervous as they sit in the back of the car. She can feel her heartbeat in her throat and her palms are sweaty.

“Hey.” Shawn whispers, letting his hand rest in her lap holding onto her hand. “I’m here with you, the whole time.”

“I know.”

“You’re okay.” He whispers in her ear. “And you look amazing.”

The corners of her mouth tug up in a quick, tight lipped smile. He studies her eyes, her eyes can tell him everything.

“We don’t have to do this, I can take you home.” He says looking towards the driver.

And as much as she would rather be at home, being held by him she grabs his face.

“No.” She says quickly.

“Huh?”

“I wanna go.”

“Babe.” He sighs. She flinches at the pet name, Babe and Baby still sting. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be, that’s who I am. I’m your Babe, and you’re mine.” She bites her lip. His eyes flick down and watch her lips, and how her tongue runs across them.

“Yeah.” He breathes out.

“I wanna go.” She says again, hand still holding his chin so he has to look at her.

She doesn’t really want to go, but she feels like if she doesn’t then she’ll be that much closer to losing him.

“Okay.” He nods, eyes flicking back to hers. “Y/n.” He says as he interlaces their fingers together.

“Yeah?”

“I really wanna kiss you.” He sighs, eyes looking back at her plump lips.

He hasn’t kissed her in a while, and he really wants too.

“Then kiss me.” She smirks pulling his face closer to hers.

He kisses her, hard. And she kisses him back.

She does’t know why she was pushing him away. He makes her feel so much better and all he wanted to do was make her feel better.

“Um.” The driver clears his throat. “We’re here.”

They pull apart, eyes locked on each others. That kiss spoke a thousand words.

“I’ve missed you.” She whispers, eyes shutting for a second.

“I missed you more.” He whispers back, resting his forehead on hers.

“I’m sorr-”

He cuts her off by kissing her again. He pulls away shaking his head.

“Don’t. Just, don’t.”

“Shawn, we’re ready.” Andrew says as the door opens. “Y/n.” He smiles at her, and then at Shawn. “I’m so glad to see you.”

She smiles and nods.

“I’m glad I’m here.”

Shawn climbs out of the car, turning to help her out. She clutches his hand and looks up at him nervously. The crowd his roaring watching Shawn help someone out of the car. They can only hope it’s you.

“You’re okay.” He says as you stare at him. “I’m right here.”

She takes a deep breath and stands up, immediately being pulled into his side.

She holds onto his arm tightly, plastering a smile to her face.

“They missed you too.” He whispers into her ear, kissing the side of her head. She leans into his kiss and releases a breath.

The appearance was at an award show.

He wasn’t nominated for anything, but many others from his label are and it was asked that he make a short appearance to show his support for his peers.

He’s holding her tightly against him all night, always checking to make sure she is okay.

They just got done with an interview, and as they walk inside someone calls something out to her.

Shawn doesn’t hear it, distracted by Andrew, but she hears it. Loud and clear.

Her breath catches into her throat, and she can feel the tears stinging on.

“Leave Shawn so he can be with someone who can give him a baby.”

Her hold on him loosens, and she’s a few steps behind.

He looks over, noticing her facial expression.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He turns to face her.

“Nothing, I just have to use the bathroom.”

“Oh it’s just down the hall.” Andrew says pointing, and she can see it from here.

“Thanks.” Her smile is fake, and Shawn knows it.

She goes to let go of his hand, but he clutches hers.

“What’s wrong?” He asks again, pulling her against him.

“Nothing,”

“Y/n.” He can see through her.

“Just, drop it okay.” She says ripping her hand back and walking to the bathroom.

She walks in and locks the door behind her. Looking into the mirror all she can see is someone who can’t give him what he wants.

He so badly wants to have a family with her, and she doesn’t know if she can go through that again.  She leans against the counter, and can’t help it as the tears start to flow.

She’s trying to hold back her sobs, keep quiet so know one can hear her.

“Y/n, um it’s time to be seated. Shawn already went but asked I get you.” It sounds like Andrew.

She takes a deep breath and wipes her tears. She fixes the smudge under eye and unlocks the door, finding Andrew down the hall a bit.

“There you are.” He says, out of patience.

She follows him, but stops when she sees a friend.

Hailee.

“Y/n? I just ran into Shawn. He said you were around here some where. How are you?” She asks hugging her.

“Um, I’m okay I think.” Y/n nods.

Hailee’s head tilts to the right a bit, not really believing Y/n.

They hold eye contact for a second and the tears are back, welling into Y/n’s eyes.

“Oh Honey.” Hailee takes Y/n into her arms, rubbing her back.

“Sorry, it’s just this is the first time I’ve been out of the house since,” She trails off.

“Don’t be sorry, I totally understand. Let’s go talk.” Hailee says pulling Y/n back towards the bathroom.

“She needs to go to Shawn.” Andrew says looking at his phone.

“Tell Shawn that I stole her.”

“Hailee.”

Hailee closes the door in his face and locks it.

“Damn it Steinfeld.” He mutters from behind the door.

“Talk to me.”

Y/n goes into a story about how she doesn’t really want to be there, and how she feels as if she’s losing Shawn. Then on to what the person said as they walked into the building.

“That’s awful, who was it?”

“I don’t know, some fan.”

“That was not a fan, no person can say they’re a fan when they say something like that.”

They keep talking and Y/n just pours her heart out.

“I think you need to tell him. I mean, I know Shawn and he would want to know. He would want to know how you’re feeling. And I can promise you, that boy is just as in love with you as he was the day he met you.”

“I just don’t know how.”

“Just tell him the way you told me. Y/n it’s Shawn, you know him better than anyone.”

“I just don’t want to hurt him.”

“Tell me this, if Shawn was feeling this way would you want him to tell you?”

“Of course.”

“Then doesn’t he deserve the same?”

Y/n glares at Hailee and then smirks.

“I hate you Steinfeld.”

Hailee laughs and looks at her phone.

“Oh, and he’s outside.” She says walking to the door.

“No wait,”

But the door is opened and a worried Shawn is standing in the door way. His breathing is heavy and his curls have been tugged at.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He asks looking at Y/n.

“I’m okay.”

“What happened? One second you are holding my hand and the next you are in the bathroom, and I’m told that Hailee stole you. And that you were crying.”

He’s so distraught and Hailee looks at you.

“You tell him or I do.” She glares at you.

“Tell me what?”

“Hailee.”

“Tell him, or I do. You choose.”

“Tell me, what?”

“Okay.” She sighs.

“I’ll leave you two.” Hailee says walking out and closing the door behind her.

“Tell me what?”

“That I feel like I’m losing you.”

“What?” He asks paling.

“I’m sorry, I just.”

“Stop apologizing. I’m the Canadian here.”

She huffs out a laugh, shoulders dropping.

“I just feel as if you are slipping away from me.”

“Is that why you changed your mind about coming?”

“You just got so angry when I said no, and I didn’t want you to resent me for not being here.”

“I wasn’t angry, and I’m not resenting you.”

“It sure seemed like you were angry.”

“A little frustrated yeah, but not because of you.”

“Then why?”

“Because I don’t know how to help you.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I mean what kind of husband doesn’t know how to help his wife?”

“Shawn.” She steps forward, hands resting on his arms.

“I need you to help me help you. Tell me what I need to do, because I am so lost.”

“You are helping.”

“No, I’m not. And with the fact that you feel like you’re losing me means that I haven’t been there for you.”

“Stop.” She shakes her head, tightening her hold on his arms. “You have been there, for everything.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore and I can’t watch you cry like that anymore. I can’t,” He’s breathing heavy just thinking about it.

“I know, I know.” She sighs, resting her forehead against his. “I know.”

He lets out a deep sigh, and a few tears roll down his cheeks.

“I think we just need a minute. Alone, and not here.”

“What?” He asks softly.

“I think we need to get out of this town. I think we need to leave Canada for a second.”

“Like go on a vacation.”

“Yeah, just us. No work, no families, no phones. I think we need to get to know each other again. I feel like I’m a million miles away from you.”

“I miss my wife.” He nods.

“Let’s get out of here, go hide away and actually see each other again. We need a change in scenery.”

“I love that idea.”

“And maybe this will be the inspiration you need. So you can keep writing.”

“I didn-”

“I know that you aren’t writing Shawn. You think I don’t know you, but I know you better than you know yourself.”

“Oh really.”

“Yeah.”

“What am I thinking right now.”

“Two things.” You smile as he looks at you. “One, you are trying to figure out how to get out of work to go away with me. Two, you want to kiss me but aren’t sure if you can.”

He looks at her with wide eyes, she just read his mind.

“And the answer is, I’ll deal with Andrew and make him give you time off. And yeah you can kiss me.”

He doesn’t wait a second. His lips are on hers and he’s pulling her close.

“I love you.” He whispers pulling back just an inch.

“I love you too.”

[olllmaatta]

All of the asks you reblogged from me

b o i

that’s,

So Many

1. you woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? YIKES THAT’S @illua​ U M “yikes”????

2. what’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?lmao we broke up after dating for a week bc i Couldn’t Deal and he was too needy

3. if your significant other was into drugs, would you care?i don’t,,,think i’d date anyone who was into drugs????

4. is your last name longer than six letters?nope

5. was your last kiss drunk or sober?never been drunk i was sober

6. have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?yes

7. what does your last received text say?“we played the logos game w team bitches vs team bad bitches”

8. how many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?a lot???? idk

9. where was your last kiss at?my room

10. when is the last time you saw your sister?don’t have one but i saw my brother a little over a week ago

11. what do you drink in the morning?water but sometimes peach iced tea

12. where did you sleep last night?my bed

13. do you think relationships are hard?hard to find, yeah

14. if you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?yeah i don’t think i would’ve dated my ex

15. you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?not really??? we’re friends still

16. would you rather it be sunny or rainy?sunny

17. do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?ain’t got one

18. are you wearing jeans, sweatpants,or pajama pants?leggings

19. do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?yes??? hopefully??

20. does anyone like you?there was that anon????

21. have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?yes lol

22. is the last person you kissed gay?nope

23. is there a person you CANNOT stand?yes

24. have you ever considered getting a tattoo?YES I HAVE PLANS TO GET ONE AS SOON AS I TURN 18

25. in the past week have you cried?yup

26. what breed was the last dog you saw? i think a beagle??

27. do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?who the Fuck dries off in the shower???? No Room

28. have you ever kissed a football player?nope

29. do you think you’re old?nope

30. do you like text messaging?sometimes

31. what type of day are you having?ughhh

32. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?nope

33. do you prefer warm or cold weather?warm

34. is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?a lot???

35. would you prefer a relationship or a fling?relationship

36. are you a simple or complicated person?complicated

37. what song are you listening to?rock bottom by hailee steinfeld

38. when you say you’re sorry do you mean it?usually not

39. is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?nah

40. what made you start liking the person you like now?V Cute™

41. when did you last receive a text message?eleven minutes ago42. what is wrong with you right now?LMAO SO MANY THINGS but rn???? not studying

43. how well do you know the last female you texted?fairly well i hope???? she was my best friend in high school at least???

44. does anyone disgust you?lMAO YEAH 

45. would you date someone right now if they asked?i’m like that with a lot of ppl lol

46. are you in a good mood right now?kinda???

47. who was the last person you talked to in person?caps friend in the squad who lives down the hall, we talked about trades

48. what color shirt are you wearing?red

49. has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?yeah lol my professor told us she didn’t have our graded papers with her

50. anyone you’re giving up on?yup

51. do you hate the person you fell hardest for?nah

52. have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?yes

53. do you like rain?nOPE

54. do you care if your significant other drinks?nah

55. have you ever liked somebody and never told them?HOO BOY

56. do you like to cuddle?yes

57. are you shy?it depends???? idk sometimes i am and sometimes not

58. do you get along with girls?yeah

59. have you dated the person you texted last?she was sorta my prom date does that count? 

60. what do you carry with you at all times?chapstick

61. if you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?FUCKN NO

62. do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?yeah maybe

63. think back to october, were you in a relationship?nope

64. the person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?YES

65. did anything “cute” happen in the last week?NOTHING CUTE HAS HAPPENED TO ME

66. how old are the last three people you kissed?19, 18, 17

67. would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?do them myself

68. which do you like better- zebra print or leopard print?zebra

69. do you have any stickers on your car?nah

70. would you rather listen to luke bryan or lil wayne?lil wayne

71. blackberry, android, or iphone?iphone

72. when’s the last time you had pizza from pizza hut?past month

73. do you like diet soda?no

74. what color are the walls in your room?beige bc dorms

75. are you 16 or older?yes

76. do you watch pretty little liars?no

77. do you have a job?no

78. what are your initials?my real initials are sd

79. did you ever have braces?HAHA NO

80. are you from the south?i live here now and have for four years idk

81. what does your last status on facebook say?T H I S G A M ESIDNEY CROSBYYYYYYYYYYY(in reference to the jets game)

82. do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?no

83. are you closer to your mom or your dad?idk tbh

84. have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?did gymnastics for a year in second grade

85. what’s the last movie you saw in theaters?hIDDEN FIGURES

86. do you smoke?nO

87. would you rather wear heels or flip flops?flip flops

88. is your phone touch screen?yes

89. do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?straight

90. have you ever snuck out of your house?no

91. would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?pool

92. have you ever made out in a car?lmao yeah

93. …had sex in a car?do handjobs and faked orgasms count

94. are you single or in a relationship?single (i think)

95. what were you doing last night at midnight?probably working on a speech

96. when’s the last time you saw fireworks?fourth of july????

97. do you like the camera on your phone?ehhh

98. have you ever had a friend with benefits?nah

99. have you ever passed out from drinking?barely drink

100. are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?nah

101. have you ever had a pregnancy scare?nope

102. name your favorite kesha song:i,,,don’t know kesha songs

103. do you have any tan lines right now?it’s February why would i

104. would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?nope