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magaprima · 5 years

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Having seen the comments and anons on @concreteangel1221 ‘s blog about Lilith and how she less deserving of redemption than freaking Blackwood, I feel I had to have a little rant, because you guys know I have written literal essays of headcanons about this character and her actions and her experiences.

Lilith does do, within the timeline of the show, ‘morally bad’ things (I’m using quote marks not only because the benchmark of morals is different on the show, but also that the concept of being good or evil was something invented by abrahamic religions, because the old religions/ways/gods had a more discretionary, personal compass aspect to things). We see her kill Mary, we see her kill the teenage boy to summon the Greendale 13, we see her create a creature to ‘rip the skin from Sabrina Spellman’s bones’ (the other stuff she does is no different than Sabrina, Ambrose, Hilda, Zelda, Nick etc actions, so I’m not listing it).

However, before I go on to points and reasons why this does not stop her from having redemption or being a worth/morally capable character, I want to add, that as Lilith killed Mary, she did so on instruction from the Dark Lord (the writers confirmed in discussions about Part 3 that she was made to pick Mary specifically) and she has resurrected her. Zelda has also killed Hilda many times and resurrected her. Killing the teenage boy was, as we gauge from her monologue, a means to an end; ‘the dark lord was growing impatient with me’ so desperation not to suffer at his hands pushed her to summon the Greendale 13, which required a life. I’m just justifying her actions, I’m just saying she didn’t go out and murder for the hell of it, there was a reason, and her own self-preservation. And then when she creates the Adam Creature to kill Sabrina, I’ve already made huge posts about how that was created out of grief and anger, and how existing and surrounded by a patriarchal society made her attack the woman, the ‘competition’ rather than the man that was really to blame (as in society we women are encouraged to see each other as the enemy and men as the goal), and for that matter, her place didn’t work, she can only be accused of intent here and not action.

But now I have seen lots of comments on posts on tumblr, instagram etc where people say Lilith needs to suffer (as if she hasn’t already), that she should be punished for what she did (as if she hasn’t been punished enough) and that she’s pure evil and totally the villain no matter what.

And I want to introduce those people to something called the Abuse Cycle. Simply put, the idea that someone who has been a long time abuse victim has an increased likelihood of becoming an abuser themselves, because this suffered behaviour becomes normalised behaviour (a pop culture reference I always make for explaining this is Regina Mills when she tells Henry ‘I don’t know how to love very well’ because her experiences of Motherhood were only ever via Cora and that was a very abusive relationship). I have made posts which compare Lilith’s relationship with the Dark Lord as a marriage of domestic abuse, as she even uses the archetypal reasoning of ‘he wasn’t like this in the beginning. He was kind at first’ and often people who enter long-term abusive marriages have come from abusive homes, and believe the latter is an escape from the former (Lilith believes Lucifer is her saviour from the abuse of the False God/Adam/The Garden) and because this new abuser will occasionally reward them and assure them that they love them (i.e here have more power, here be my handmaiden and right hand, one day you’ll be my Queen beside me), the victim often reasons, for sake of survival, that this is just the way this person loves, and it’s not their fault they behave this way (’the more he became this thing of darkness’, it’ll be different when he’s back to his true form etc). And so they stay until the thought of leaving terrifies them, and the threat of being caught is worse than the threat of staying, and eventually this becomes normal and acceptable and just the way life is. They know no different. Lilith, until she meets Adam 2.0, knows no different. First Adam and Lucifer are her only experiences of long term relationships and both are violent and abusive.

Now the most large-scale example of an abuse cycle is human trafficking, another thing I have compared the Lilith-Lucifer-Sabrina dynamic too, especially as Lilith does use the word ‘groom’ in reference to Sabrina. With human trafficking cycles, long term trafficked victims often become abusers of other victims as a way of elevating themselves and earning themselves a more comfortable existence. For example, a young girl could be trafficked, then after 5 years of ‘loyalty’, she’s told to bring in other girls like her, she’s told that if she does, she’ll have to see fewer ‘customers’, that these new girls will do the worst jobs. So she does it, she goes out and brings other girls back to make her life easier. Then the traffickers create the idea of hierarchy; yes you’re still one of the girls, but if you help your abuser ‘break in’ the new girls, punish them and train them, well then you become the ‘manager’ of the girls, you move up a level, you’re important, and important people get better food, they get more comfortable beds. Sure they get beaten still, sure they have to still do their ‘job’, but there’s less of it now and they have status, they have a little bit of power for themselves and that’s better than no power at all. And therein the cycle begins.

This really is very similar to what has happened to Lilith. She was brought in by Lucifer, thought him kind and they were in love, and then he changed, became ‘this thing of darkness’ and she is abused, mentally and physically (the way she hides her face in the second episode of part 1 shows how used she is to him hitting her when he’s disappointed, and the way she asks to kiss his feet show she’s learned how to calm that temper. She has made a life within her abuse, a way to survive, a way to tell herself everything is fine and good) for thousands of years. Thousands of years of suffering this behaviour, being surrounded by it, knowing nothing else, is going to make it the norm for you. Like she literally has nothing to compare to in her experiences. And now she is told ‘if you do all these things (including those I listed above) you will finally be Queen, and this new girl can take your shitty jobs and suffer your shitty position, while you rule’, and like the trafficked victims, Lilith, understandably, jumps on this and does everything she can to make it possible. Why should she care about Sabrina? She’s just some half-mortal who has had a lovely life for sixteen years, while Lilith has suffered for thousands? Now it’s someone else’s turn. Why should she care that she makes another victim? Better to be the absuer than the abused, right?

Only, through her time in Greendale, surrounded by people who, while morally dark grey/black by Christian standards, are relatively good people, people who thank Lilith when she does something, who speak to her as an equal, who go to her for help, people who care about her, even love her (Adam specifically), surrounded by healthy relationships, living in that cottage without fear of abuse or beatings, living essentially a peaceful life, Lilith actually does start to care. She defends Theo’s right to be on the basketball team, she respects Roz’s decision to want to study away from others, and arranges that space in the library, and, in the finale, she helps Sabrina defeat the Dark Lord, and, quite notably, actually grabs the Dark Lord by the neck (telekinetically) blowing the subservient cover she has maintained for milennia in order to stop Sabrina from being hurt/abused as she has been. Because, remember Lilith knows his wrath personally and when she sees him marching towards Sabrina with it, she pulls him back ‘hold that nasty thought!’ and then, not only does she show sympathy for Sabrina losing Nick, she assures her she’ll take good care of him, and she returns her favourite teacher to her and allows Sabrina to have her powers without any need to sign a book, giving her both ‘power and freedom’.

Lilith, after thousands of years of abuse, of normalising that abuse, of becoming the abuser herself, breaks the abuse cycle. She breaks.the.abuse.cycle. And that is a massive thing, and an admirable thing, and, in my opinion, shows us what Lilith’s core character was before abuse and experiences etc (I do maintain Lilith’s core, original character is more akin to Sabrina). Someone who can go through such long term abuse and extreme levels of it too, and then break their own abuse cycle and behave differently, is not just someone worthy of redemption, but someone who should be applauded.

Yet, people will jump to say she’s evil and deserves more suffering, while Faustus will be defended. I like Blackwood as a character and I really love Richard in the role, but no I don’t think he’s a good person, and unless he shows real remorse and changes his ways in Part 3 or 4, then no he isn’t worthy of approval/forgiveness etc. I mean, we don’t know how he treated Constance, but the fact she had to ask for his approval whether to eat a cake, her fear and stress over giving him sons, and her general demeanour are very revealing. And then we have the atrocious thing he did to Zelda (which I won’t go into because many people have already done that) and perhaps the things he does are the very reason Edward forbid him from pursuing Zelda in the first place, and then he created a manifesto to oppress all witches, declaring women to be less than men, he made a secret society of warlocks that had such a nazi-esque demeanour it would be fucking terrifying to be surrounded by that, and then, when he didn’t want to accept the rule of a woman, he decided to poison an entire coven, before making plans to have his son and daughter married to each other in the future (and lets not forget when Zelda threatened to slit Prudence’s throat, he said he had his other children, so he could spare to lose that one). And there is no abuse cycle for him to follow; he is a white male witch. He has been born to every privilege.

I get if people don’t like Lilith (actually, I don’t, she’s fabulous, haha, but everyone is entitled to like or dislike characters) and I get people wanting Faustus to have a redemption arc, but you can’t possibly say that he is more deserving of chances, or that Lilith’s actions are worse, when you take all things in context. Similarly, as regards Zelda: she has been horrendous to her sister, abusive in more ways than one, but the fact she apologises for the harrowing, that she did stop killing Hilda after the nightmare episode, and how she encouraged Hilda to embrace her sexuality and gives her help and advice and a glamour makeover, and then gets her back into the church of night, all shows that Zelda is taking steps to make it up to her sister. People who are saying she hasn’t done enough and she’s still bad, like we are literally only just seeing Zelda realise the error of treating Hilda as she did, but the fact she has made changes and altered her behaviour accordingly shows that she, like Lilith, is breaking her own cycle.

So back off attacking women for less and defending men for more, people. Even fictional ones.

Also Lilith gets demonised enough from her own mythology in the real world, I ain’t gonna add to it in a fictional one.

#headcanon #or is it a rant #or is it both?#rantcanon

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melodramaticfanatic-blog · 6 years

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Finish what we started - Henry Cavill x Reader

Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader

Warnings: smut…eventually. Minor anxiety and mentions of being overweight/losing weight

Summary: Y/N is a brand new actress who’s first project involves a long time interest of hers, Henry Cavill. Everything is going as planned until one day, while filming an intimate scene, there’s a minor malfunction.

A/N: first fan fiction. Not sure how many parts this might turn out to be. Also Tumblr is trying to kill me and deleted half my draft!!!

Completely based on this quote - “[on getting an erection while filming a sex scene] A girl had to be on top of me, she had spectacular breasts, and I hadn’t rearranged my “stuff” into a harmless position. She’s basically rubbing herself all over me and, um, it got a bit hard. It’s not great when you’re in a professional acting environment and somebody gets a boner, is it? I had to apologize profusely afterward.“

For years Y/N had dreamed of being an actress. She loved everything about movies and had even gone to college for film and television production. The only problem was her confidence. Y/N had been overweight for much of her life and tended to hide herself because of it. She had been in a few relationships but never anything serious or long term. Truthfully, she didn’t think she was worthy of much love and she had never felt beautiful. The idea that a casting director would want her was just as terrifying as the idea of opening herself up to the rejection of an audition process.

It wasn’t until she turned 29 years old that her life started to change. Y/N’s older sister had asked Y/N to spend the summer babysitting Cara and Penelope, Y/N’s twin nieces, and chasing after the rambunctious girls had started to change her figure. After realizing that she was starting to see results without much effort, Y/N decided to take a chance. She signed up for local Zumba classes, began to swim with her nieces and changed her eating habits of 28 years, no longer devouring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while standing in her kitchen. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly, Y/N felt her confidence start to grow. She wasn’t skinny, her curves were still pronounced and womanly, but there was less excess to her and she was healthier and more toned.

Please tell me that you know about this!!

The text message alert blared across the phone screen, breaking Y/N’s concentration, which moments before had been solely focused on her morning run.

You’re gonna have to be a little more specific sister from the same mister

If I could roll my eyes through text message I absolutely would

Y/N chuckled at her sister’s exasperation and then clicked on the link that was attached to the last text message. A short article appeared on the phone screen; it was an informational piece about an open casting call for a new film project, a project that just happened to be based on Y/N’s favorite book.

They’re having trouble casting the role of Deanna….you know, your favorite female character of all time? The character that you relate to the most and that people tell you reminds them of you? Any thoughts on who might be able to take on that role?

Y/N slowed to a stop staring at the phone screen. It was true that fans of the book series who knew her often compared her to that character. According to the description given in the novels, Y/N even looked something like Deanna was supposed to but still…this was a major motion picture. There was no way that they would be interested in someone who had never even been on film before…right?

I can’t just be in a movie

There was a longer pause between messages this time, the three dots bouncing around to indicate that her sister was typing a long response.

Of course you can! You’ve always wanted to be in a movie and you’re a great actress. Besides, even if that isn’t how things turn out, don’t you think you owe it to yourself to try? This is Deanna. This is your favorite character in your favorite book. If you are sitting in a movie theater a year from now watching some other actress butcher this part, aren’t you going to regret not trying? All you have to do is film yourself doing a small monologue and send it into the casting directors. It’s easy. I’ll even help you. Besides, you know that Cara and Penny would love to cheer you on. So, what do you say? Time to be brave?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Time to be brave. How had such small words landed Y/N’s life into such chaos? When her sister had suggested the idea of auditioning for the movie, it had sounded ridiculous. It had taken weeks of prodding from friends and family before Y/N had even begun to consider it. Eventually, she had put herself on film, partly for fun, partly to shut everyone up and partly because…well, because she knew they were right and this was something she should try. Still bravery did not come naturally to Y/N and the very last thing she had expected was to receive a phone call from a casting director asking her to fly to Atlanta, GA for a call back audition and screen test! Yet that was exactly what had happened.

Y/N sat in the cold, crisp air of the production offices trying to breathe evenly and remember the lines of the scene that had been emailed to her. The waiting room was bright, white and too clean; it looked almost medical, which did nothing to help with her nerves. Fidgeting with the hemline of her dress, Y/N tried to fight the feeling that she stuck out like a sore thumb. Having never been in this situation before, she wasn’t sure how to dress so she had gone for a mix of traditional and edgy, just like her. A classical floral a-line dress flattered her figure, nude pumps elongated her legs making her smaller frame appear as long as possible and a worn in leather jacket wrapped closely around her torso, hinting at the dichotomy inherent in her personality. She had left her hair down letting it brush gently against her shoulders and left her makeup natural, hoping that everything would read well to the casting directors and cameras.

“Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?” A lovely young woman opened a door in the corner of the room and looked at her with a curious but friendly smile.

Taking a deep breath and trying to steady her hands Y/N smiled and nodded.

“I’m Emily. They’re ready for you now if you’ll just follow me.”

Y/N stood up carefully, smoothing her hands over her dress and walking towards the doorway. She followed Emily down the hallway barely hearing the friendly chatter of the smaller woman until they reached a different door and Emily stopped with another warm smile.

“Don’t be nervous. I’ve seen the tape you sent in. Nothing to worry about beyond these doors.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile genuinely at that. “Thank you Emily, that’s too kind.”

A deep breath and a nod to Emily later, Y/N stepped through the door. The room she had just entered was small and simple. Beige walls provided a clean backdrop for screen tests. There was a long table on one side of the room with 3 chairs and a tripod behind it. One of the chairs was occupied by an older woman with a large binder, the second held a man who looked very relaxed behind his thick rimmed sun glasses. The third chair stood empty and Y/N assumed it was for the youngest in the room, a man who was adjusting the camera sitting on the tripod.

“Ah, Miss Y/L/N, so nice to finally meet you.” The woman behind the table stood up and came around to greet her. She was in her mid-50’s, clean cut and matronly with soft brown hair and kind eyes. “I’m Lisa, the casting director for this project. We spoke on the phone.”

“It’s nice to put a face to the voice,” Y/N said with a gentle smile.

Lisa returned the smile and gestured over her shoulder. “That’s our director, Guy Ritchie.” The director removed his sun glasses and shot Y/N a wink.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ritchie, I’m a fan of your work,” Y/N said almost reverently. It was true; the man in front of her was responsible for some of her favorite films of all time.

“Really now?” The man chuckled and rubbed his strawberry blonde beard absentmindedly. “In a little while I may be telling you the same thing if this goes well.”

Y/N felt her face flush and had to look down at her shoes to gather herself. Lisa reached out to grasp her hand reassuringly.

“Come stand right here on this mark. This will be very simple. We’re going to start the camera, chat for just a bit and then we’ll have you state your name and age and read the scene with Theo there.” The young guy behind the camera looked up and nodded. “Any questions?”

“No, that sounds fine to me,” Y/N replied breathlessly. She looked down at the floor to make sure she was on her mark and then looked back towards the table where Lisa had returned to her seat.

With a quick nod from Theo, Guy looked at Y/N and asked, “So why did you decide to enter the open casting call?”

“Well…” Y/N huffed out a breath, “honestly, this project has the potential to be very important to me. I wasn’t lying to flatter you when I said I’m a fan of your work; your films have been very influential on me and the possibility of working with you is thrilling. More than that however, this is based off of a piece of literature that has shaped my life. These are the books that I can read and reread and always find something new in. Deanna is a character that has changed how I think about myself and the choices I make.“ For the first time since Y/N had received the phone call about the audition, she felt herself begin to relax. She knew this material like the back of her hand, it practically made up part of her soul.

The change wasn’t lost on Lisa and Guy. Y/N had been beautiful to them when she first entered the room with her Y/H/C hair gently framing her face and her Y/E/C eyes flashing with intelligence and kindness. As she began to speak with such passion though, she almost began to glow. Her voice became fuller, more confident and it filled the room as she stood straighter, her curvaceous shape on full display.

“Tell me about something you love besides the source material,” Guy stated as soon as Y/N had wrapped up her response to why she had applied.

“My nieces,” Y/N replied with no hesitation, a beatific smile breaking out on her face. “I have twin nieces, Cara and Penny, who are the greatest thing on Earth. They’re little monsters of course, all girls are at some point, but they can make me laugh no matter what kind of trouble they’ve gotten into.”

Guy was struck again by how stunning Y/N was. The more she talked, the more she let him in to see the real her, the more interested he became. It was a natural part of her; he could see that Theo was just as enthralled as he was. Y/N was charming, charismatic, beautiful and a natural actress he knew from her tape. As long as the reading went well and his leading man approved, he had found his Deanna. Audiences wouldn’t be able to resist falling in love with her.

“Well, I think that is a good start. Why don’t we have you read the scene with Theo now.”

Y/N smiled and nodded. Talking about Cara and Penny had given her the grounded feeling she had been searching for. Reading the scene was easy. It felt as though it had been written for her and by her. She didn’t hesitate once and never forgot a line. By the end of the scene both Lisa and Guy were beaming at her.

“Two things,” Guy said seriously and for a moment Y/N felt her heart sink. What if she had misread the situation? “First, I am definitely a fan of your work.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh in relief.

“Secondly, I’m sold. You’re my Deanna…and you’ve been Lisa’s Deanna since she saw your tape. I think if I had tried to cast someone else I may have woken up with a horse head in my bed or something,” Guy chuckled and nudged the woman on his left. “I just need you to meet our leading man and do a small chemistry reading with him. I’m sure it won’t be a problem; this man could have chemistry with a rock…and you are certainly not a rock,” he said with a wry smile. “He should be around the lot somewhere now actually. I wonder if we can get him over here.”

At that moment, Emily poked her head in the door. “Sorry to interrupt but you-know-who just stopped by to see how auditions were going. Did you want me to bring him in?”

“Your timing could not be more perfect. Neither could his, but don’t tell him that; he’s perfect enough as it is,” Guy added the last in a snarky aside making Y/N giggle quietly. “Send him on in.”

Emily moved out of the door and gestured to someone down the hall. The sound of men’s dress shoes reached Y/N’s ears as the man walked down the corridor. Moments later the doorframe was filled with the large and, Guy was right, perfect body of someone Y/N knew well. If the body was perfect (and oh, god! was the body perfect) than the face was nothing short of godly. The crisp brown locks curling softly around the chiseled face, the blue eyes only made more perfect by the patch of brown that interrupted the cerulean circle of the left eye and the gentle stubble that adorned the sharp jaw was enough to make the breath catch in Y/N’s throat. She may have actually gasped but she couldn’t be sure as Guy had taken that moment to say “Henry! Come and meet Y/N. Y/N, this is Henry Cavill.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Henry smiled easily down at the woman in front of him. Next to his imposing 6'1” frame she looked positively tiny. He was immediately struck by the odd combination of clothes she wore, a leather jacket over a dress that would have made sense for a stepford wife…yet it suited her in a way he couldn’t quite explain. “Hello Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Y/N’s face flushed red as she held out her hand and watched it being enveloped by Henry’s much larger one. “The pleasure is all mine; I’m a fan of your work.”

“Don’t get excited Cavill,” Guy quipped quickly, “she says that to all the men!”

Both Y/N and Henry laughed at that, his deep bass reverberating through the room and making Y/N feel strangely comfortable.

“It’s true,” Y/N said with a wry smile, “I was going to say that to whoever walked through that door. If it was Pauly Shore I was prepared to exclaim how much I loved ‘Encino Man’!” With a sudden burst of confidence Y/N winked cheekily at Henry.

Another belt of laughter burst from his chest. This woman was something else; Henry couldn’t help but like and admire her almost immediately. She was obviously bright and witty but she was also beautiful and reserved. He was already looking forward to unraveling the contradictions that made her…well, her. The fact that Henry couldn’t peel his eyes away from her curves wasn’t a problem either.

“How has everything gone so far?” Henry asked as he walked farther into the room, seating himself in the empty chair.

“Brilliantly and don’t get comfortable,” Guy responded quickly. “ I need to get you two on camera together reading this scene.”

Almost instantly, and with a grace that shocked Y/N, Henry’s large form was on his feet and next to her. “It would be my absolute pleasure,” he stated, his warm, deep voice seeming to caress Y/N as he spoke. He gently cleared his throat and fell into a flawless American accent as he began to recite the lines.

Y/N kept up flawlessly. It was a great scene, full of comedy and yet hinting at deeper emotions underneath. Working the scene with Henry was different than reciting the lines with Theo. Suddenly, there was a physicality to the scene; Y/N couldn’t help but playfully slap at Henry’s impressive biceps as her character chided his. He responded happily, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously at her as he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him. Without either of them realizing it, Y/N and Henry had created a sexual tension that left the room charged with an almost palpable energy as their bodies pressed against each other, his large arms circling her waist while her smaller hands pressed to his chest. As the scene drew to a close, she said her last few lines, laughing and nuzzling her face to his chest in a gesture that was so perfectly appropriate Guy was shocked the direction wasn’t written into the script. As she did, Henry felt his breath catch slightly. Y/N felt amazing in his arms; he loved how he was able to wrap himself around her and fit perfectly against her hourglass shape. She was the perfect height as well, her face resting against his chest and allowing him to inhale the delicate scent of her hair. He could stay wrapped around her as long as he needed to he realized. With that realization came another, slightly more embarrassing one…he wanted her wrapped around him in a much more intimate way than she was now. He couldn’t help but gulp at the thought and he took a careful step backwards while smiling down at her.

“That was perfect!” Guy was overjoyed. His long search was over. Henry and Y/N would have the audience turning into puddles in their seats. “Let’s get a deal signed for Y/N and start preproduction as soon as possible.”

Henry smiled down at Y/N and leaned in to kiss her cheek softly. “I can’t wait to work with you,” he whispered in her ear, his lightly accented voice dripping like honey and causing shivers to shoot up her spine. “I’ll see everyone soon,” Henry called over his shoulder as he left the room with a wave. It was time for him to go and see about getting himself a cold shower to dispel these thoughts about his new costar.

More to come! Please let me know what you think!

#henry cavill #fanfic #Henry cavil x reader #x reader #mdfwrites

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