#but he's still extremely vigilant of when you might leave again. he doesn't bring it up to you but he's always watching.

[seoafin]

is there anything you can tell us about the alucard fic? no pressure to post!

yeahh!!!!

in my fic i think alucard is understandably hurt by your sudden disappearance. he spends the next 200 years thinking you abandoned him, while simultaneously grieving your death and nursing a bitterness, torn by desire and a betrayal he thinks he has no right to feel. you were never his. he entertained thoughts of you staying but he never expected it. yet it hurt more than he anticipated. he literally puts himself to sleep because he can't deal with it lmfao. during the reunion scene in nocturne he's surprised by how quickly it all melts away. every single horrible feeling. he's still in love with you. he feels like the fumbling dhampir who had watched you take the flowers he had gotten you, breath bated. you're alive. and you don't look a single day older than the last time he saw you, bathed in moonlight on his bed. he's confused. but also still down crazy bad. i think once you tell him the truth about everything he very very very very reluctantly accepts it (he'll find you in the future aka during his fbi agent era). the conversation is predated by a very uncomfortable conversation where you have to tell him that you're leaving. again. (after he tells you that he'll never forgive you if you leave him again and/or turn you into a vampire if you die). anyway after you leave, all alucard wants is to go to sleep until he can meet you in the future. but people keep on making him wake up to defeat world ending evil smh. (he can't meet you if the world ends before then right?)