#but he's my emotional support coworker.... I've only known him for 18 months but if anything happened to him
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robinsnest2111 · 12 days ago
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still not quite over my emotional support coworker casually talking and joking about his honestly physically damaging eating habits and tbh all I wanna do is gently grab his face and tell him to please not do this to himself because I don't want him to destroy his body even more than it already is... like. my guy. I have an unhealthy emotional attachment to you. I want you to thrive. I don't want you to suffer. pls don't do that...
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kiindr · 2 years ago
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Hi, so I saw that you said peeps can send in rants, and I realllllllllllly would love to rant. If you did not mean this, or do not want to reply - you can delete it. I will not be offended in the slightest! No trigger warnings, only family issues (and also please don't tire/burn yourself out with this blog. Even just listening/reading about others' issues is draining).
Backstory/context:
I'm a 24 year old female, recently diagnosed with autism. Not good socially, but not terrible. I'm kinda like Katniss Everdeen tbh.
I was working as a bartender at a wedding venue. The building is owned by a well-known wine creator/seller, who leases it to my aunty so she can do weddings there (so she owns 50% of the business, the other is with a friend/chef. They've known each other for 25 years).
I have just only been diagnosed with autism (I was diagnosed multiple times beforehand, so it's been a big few weeks). I have social anxiety and if things get too much, I usually have emotional reactions - but I've learned to walk away, go somewhere and cry for a bit, calm down, dry my tears and get back in there.
I've been working there for over a year now, and last week she fired me from my bartending job, saying I'm too emotional and that "I should be happy at work, because people can tell when I'm not."
It was done over text message by my manager who says I should go to the cafe to work (so they aren't 'firing' me per say, but they are ...) However, working at the cafe I would only be filling up waters, and getting drinks (what the other owner's 16-year-old daughter does.) They also won't let me work the one wedding this weekend. I'm just flabbergasted.
I had to message my aunty to see what was going on, because they'd been completely fine with me working this position for a year. I've put up with a lot from customers. Verbal abuse (being called c*nt, a stuck-up b*tch etc) all because I won't give them alcohol, as well as nearly being physically assaulted. So I've dealt with a lot of bullcrap.
But I've also done big weekends with 4 weddings, literally only 3 weeks ago and nothing was said then? I've never had any feedback. No one taught me (except my other aunty who was in this bartending position but she was drunk all the time. And she never got in trouble, like I'm talking stealing alcohol from the venue aka my aunty who owns the business, I'm also pretty sure she was stealing from the cash register and would take things - once a groom had cigars and before they even used them, she stole one???). So, what I'm trying to say, is I was a fantastic worker. In the whole year and a month I was there, I only had 6 days off total.
I was helpful to others, kept everything on track. So I can only deduce that business owner! aunty is upset with how I interacted with customers? But I asked my coworkers and they said I was fine??? That I was great until the customers started getting rude.
There's also been a new manage/supervisor, lets call him John. He's only a few years older than me, I previously worked with him for a small time when I was 18 at a hotel. He knows alcoholic! aunty because they've worked together for years at different hotels.
My stepdad and mum, who are very very supportive of me right now, think John has a bartender friend and his trying to get them into my job?
I just don't understand. I'm family, business owner! aunty has been an integral part in my life. She's been at big events and shown that she loves me. But right now it's like she hates me?
When I messaged her, it was basically, "you get too upset. I'm too worried that you will be emotional, you're overthinking this. The bar isn't right for you, it's been an ongoing concern and it's a business decision, not a personal one. I'm not texting anymore. Happy to talk face to face."
So I've said "okay when can we talk face to face" (even though I am sh*tting myself even at the thought. She's been described as a viper, and has started a family fight in the past; nearly having a punch on with my mum.)
AND SHE HASN'T REPLIED.
Sidenote: I don't want to work at the cafe because:
It's the principle of it; it's being demoted and it's embarrassing. But also the fact that no, I'm not too emotional. A workplace needs to be safe and keep their staff feeling safe (it's very unsafe - that's why there's such a high staff turn over.)
I don't want to work with alcoholic! aunty because she's done some really really traumatic things to me in the past (it was including a knife but I'm not going to go into that).
Anyyywwwaaayyyy, If you read all that. Thank you so much. I'm sorry it's so long. I hope you have a great day, a great month, a great life. You deserve it x
TW: family issues
hello, thank you for sending in your rant <3
wow, that really is a lot to go through. your reasons for not wishing to work at the cafe are totally valid. nothing is more important than your safety and providing such a basic need to one's employees is the most crucial responsibility of an employer.
it sounds like nobody is giving you any real and honest reasons as to why you're being technically fired. i can only imagine how frustrating that must feel.
from what you just told me, i can see how hard you have been working and how seriously you take your job. i hope that your aunt comes around and sees it. and even if she doesn't, i hope that you find a workplace that treats you well.
you deserve kindness, respect, and appreciation for your work. please take care <3
i'm sending you lots of support and comfort! please feel free to reach out again if you need to vent and you found this helpful :)
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