#but he was saying like. there's a certain nihilism of white ppl who end up realizing things are bad when they didn't already
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The world is fucking disgusting
#i think a lot about ppl who grew up thinking the world and how it's organized is fundamentally good#to a degree this is still me bc I'm white I grew up suburban#but I always saw and hand understanding of both a. bad things from trauma and b. my mom taught me about systemic racism in like 4th grade#and we were poor and shit in a rich area so I was excluded a lot#like. inside bo burnham is a good example and I saw a YouTuber talk about this in a really interesting way can't remmeber his name#but he was saying like. there's a certain nihilism of white ppl who end up realizing things are bad when they didn't already#idk interesting topic I can't stop thinking about#bc it's the only way I have to explain how ppl are so godawful stupid and why it's so difficult to explain institutional issues#bc ur basically trying to tell them yeah the world is not actually good. and that's. a really big thing to change in someone's mind#that things are good is the root of a lot of miseducation and support for harmful structures#so much propaganda goes into convincing us that everything is good#and that nihilism that guy talked about. like yeah the world is disgusting but it's more. and that's why like#Angela Davis said it well that the revolution starts inside#and that self love and care and doing good things to a body unwanted by a bad world. that is rebellion that is revolution#so nihilistic white ppl who hate the world are still failing to see the point of counter action#that it's about love + goodness and that's the bedrock#and I find myself stuck there mental illness wise where I believe that you have to emphasize and bolster as much happiness and goodness#but it's fucking hard man#anyway. clearly I took an adderal#gotta take some ethics courses with intersectional lens I have no one to talk about this shit with#Palestine is really fucking me up like. all day I just imagine how many children have died#like what can I do. nothing. i can do nothing. and people who don't deserve it continue to live in terror#the average fucking age in Gaza is 18. they're all just kids like me and my brothers#it's not fair
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