#but he saw tumblr's notification that cut off the second part of the ask and I just -- ]]

[1800-fight-me]

Thunderstorms & Heartache

Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader

Rating: M (Mature)- as a general rule for my blog, minors please do not interact!

Warnings: violence, cursing, kidnapping, men being creepy.... i think that’s all. 

Word count: About 5.6k

Synopsis: When Aemond captures you the night before your wedding, your life goes down a path of twists and turns that you never expected. Here’s my take on an enemies-to-lovers snuggling-to-survive Aemond x reader fic! 

Author’s note: Sorry I’ve been gone for months! I’m throwing this into the void and running away again (lol) there will eventually (most likely) be a part two to this fic. I still make no promises that I will be back on tumblr regularly, but I hope y’all like this! 

I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!

Aemond Masterlist

You woke in a panic as a hand that was certainly not yours covered your mouth and prevented you from screaming. 

Your eyes widened and your ineffective frantic efforts to fight back lessened as you saw who woke you. 

At the recognition in your eyes he raised his brow in a silent question of your compliance. 

“If I take my hand away, will you scream?” he whispered. 

You reluctantly shook your head even as you glared at him. 

He did as promised and you took a deep breath as you attempted to calm the sharp panic that flowed through you. 

“What the hell are you doing here, Aemond?” you hissed. 

“I am here to rescue you,” he said as he sat back on your bed and pulled you up to a sitting position. 

“Rescue me? I never asked to be rescued,” you snapped at him, wide eyed and confused. 

“Regardless, you are coming with me, sweetheart,” he said with a roll of his eye and enough sarcasm to raise your blood pressure. 

“No, I’m not. Get out of here before I’m caught with a man in my room the night before my wedding,” you said through clenched teeth as you attempted to extricate yourself from his hands as he held your wrist and shoulder. 

His grip only tightened. 

“There will be no wedding,” he replied shortly and you wanted to smack the stupid eyepatch off his face. 

“So you are capturing me then. Who are you to dictate my future?” 

He stared at you with a deadpan look that you were all too familiar with. 

“Your capturer, obviously. Is that not how being captured works?” he drawled. 

You huffed indignantly. 

“Are you going to be compliant or will you make this whole ordeal more miserable than it has to be?” he asked as he stood and pulled you out of the bed with him. 

“The second option,” you snipped back. 

He sighed dramatically even as he threw you over his shoulder unexpectedly and you let out an indignant squeak in surprise. 

“Be quiet,” he hissed. 

“No! If you do not put me down I will scream, I swear it. I will screech and holler and-” 

The wind was taken out of you as he suddenly dropped you down on your bed once more. 

“Quiet! You will get us caught!,” he whispered angrily. 

“Yes, my prince, that is pretty much the point,” you said with a roll of your eyes. 

He pursed his lips in anger as he pulled out a knife. 

Your eyes widened once again in fear, but he used it to cut fabric off the sheet on your bed and then wrapped it across your mouth and tied it on the back of your head. 

You let out a muffled curse of anger and he smirked in satisfaction. 

“Now, do I need to tie your hands and feet together as well or will you be a good little captive and come with me willingly?” 

You merely glared at him and folded your arms across your chest in a small act of defiance. 

You knew that you were incapable of fighting him off physically. The last time you saw him was about a year and a half ago and even then as you watched him train you were taken back by how quick and lethal he had become. 

“Good,” he said with a small upcurve of his lips and hauled you over his shoulder once more. 

_______________

After much sneaking, he made it out of the fortress and crept around to the side where a horse waited for him. 

The moon was at the dark phase of her cycle and it was nearly pitch black. 

He pulled you off his shoulder and placed you on the ground surprisingly gently and slowly which caused your breath to catch. 

As your body slid down the length of his you tried to remind yourself that you hate him. 

You never were very good at believing that particular lie, no matter how many times you told yourself. 

He pulled the cloth off your mouth. There was a soft look in his eye. 

You looked over at the horse and then back at him. 

“Where is Vhagar?” you asked. 

He pursed his lips in annoyance and looked up at the sky as if he were cursing you inside his mind. 

“It would not exactly be inconspicuous to have the largest dragon in the world here with me, now would it?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him as you placed your hands on your hips. 

“She waits for us, but it is a few days' journey on horseback to reach her,” he explained. 

“This is the worst kidnapping I’ve ever been a part of,” you muttered. 

He ignored you, even as he shook his head and moved past you to the horse. 

He ran his hand across its mane and then pulled a bundle of clothes out of the saddle bag. 

He thrust them at you and turned back to the horse. 

“Dress quickly. We need to leave immediately,” he ordered. 

You didn’t have a retort as you truly were grateful for the warm clothes and quickly shucked off your nightgown and redressed in them. 

You were surprised to find that he had given you trousers as opposed to a dress, but you supposed it made sense given the long and cold journey ahead of you. You were grateful for the multiple layers and warmth they provided you. 

You traded your slippers for thick socks and boots and with a small clearing of your throat he turned back to survey your work. 

He nodded and pulled your hood over your head, his touch surprisingly gentle, just as his had been firmly pulled over his shock of white hair to hide it. 

He helped you onto the horse and then sat right behind you. 

The heat of his chest warmed your back as his body was pressed tightly against yours. 

He clicked his tongue and the horse started at a gallop, and soon it was a sprint. 

You and your captor made your way south towards King’s Landing without detection. 

_______________

As the sun began to rise your eyes drooped and your head fell back against Aemond’s shoulder. 

“If you fall asleep and tumble off the horse I shall be incredibly cross with you,” he drawled and you huffed. 

“You dragged me out of my bed in the middle of the night, how do you expect me to not be tired?” 

He sighed. 

“We will stop soon, but we need to get as much distance between us and your former betrothed,” he said firmly. 

You decided to try to annoy him with your silence. It always used to work when you were children. Sure, Aemond was one who appreciates silence, but not when it was due to your anger at him. He never used to be able to handle it when you were mad at him.  

But, oh, how times have changed. 

“What? No withering retort?” he demanded. 

You maintained your silence. 

“Hm. Glorious silence. I would have kidnapped you earlier if I knew it was the price of such blessed quiet,” he said with a dark chuckle. 

You rolled your eyes but refused to speak. 

He sighed softly at his failed attempts to bait you into conversation. 

You smirked in satisfaction. 

_______________

Hours later you finally said, “I thought you said we would stop soon.” 

He laughed spitefully. “I thought you weren’t speaking to me.” 

You sighed. 

“Up here looks like a safe place to rest for a little while,” he said softly as he led the horse off the path and further into the woods. 

You sat and ate your meal of bread, dried meat, and hard cheese while you watched him pull various items out of the saddle bags. 

He laid a blanket out on the ground and gestured towards it. 

You watched him warily and did not move. 

“Honestly, are you really going to be angry with me the entirety of this trip?” he asked as he sat down and crossed his long legs. 

“Trip? This isn’t a trip, Aemond. You stole me from the home of my betrothed!” 

He sighed and rolled his eye. 

“You are such a prick,” you seethed. 

“It is not as if you wished to marry him! Look me in the eye and truthfully tell me you desired to be wed to that sack of shit and I will betray my brother’s orders and take you back immediately.” 

You looked down at your hands as you fidgeted and ripped apart the bread nervously. 

You could not tell him what he asked of you. 

You didn’t want to look up and see the smirk that surely adorned his lips. 

“It was my duty,” you said softly, weakly. 

“You used to care little for duty,” he said, his voice velvety smooth, the way it always did when he felt assured he had won an argument. 

“Yes, well I grew up, Aemond. I learned that I must do what was expected of me in order to survive,” you rasped as tears began to fill your eyes. 

You risked a glance up at you and his expression was hard, but there was a flicker of remorse and concern in his eye. 

You looked away. 

He sighed. 

“Rest. I’ll wake you in a few hours so we can continue our journey,” he said and you nodded. 

You returned the remainder of your food to the saddle bag and as you laid on the blanket, Aemond laid another on top of you. 

You didn’t get a chance to say anything as he immediately turned and walked a few paces away to sit on watch. 

Sleep quickly found you. 

_______________

You woke, once again, to Aemond startling you awake. 

It was becoming a habit for him, one you loathed. 

He hissed your name and shook your shoulder as he crouched over you. 

You looked at him and opened your mouth but he shook his head and whispered, “There’s a group of men coming this way. We need to be prepared.” 

You nodded even as your heart began to pound. 

As quickly as you could, you helped him pack up the supplies. 

He pulled up his hood and you followed suit before he helped you up onto the horse. 

He was soon behind you and grabbed the reins. 

“I don’t have to remind you that betraying me and taking your chances with random men would be a horribly stupid decision, do I?” he murmured in your ear as four men on horses neared the two of you as you returned to the path in the forest. 

The thought had of course crossed your mind. But you at least knew Aemond to be relatively honorable. You didn’t have the same assurances of the strange men you were soon to encounter. 

“No,” you breathed out. 

“Good. Take your hood down. Perhaps if they are distracted by how pretty you are they will not ask many questions of us,” he whispered. 

Your heart thumped harder within your chest. 

You did as he asked. 

“Would it not have been wiser to keep hiding?” you murmured back as the men were close enough to properly view them. 

You gulped in fear. 

“We were not very well hidden. And besides, it is always better to meet potential enemies prepared and on your feet,” he said quietly, his mouth close to your ear. 

“Hello there!” one of the men called out as he raised his hand in a wave. 

Aemond waved back. 

They met you in the road and Aemond pulled the horse to a halt. 

“Where are you lot headed?” the man asked in a thick accent and a too curious gleam in his eye. 

“My wife and I are headed south towards the city to find better work,” Aemond replied curtly. 

You kept your expression neutral though you wanted to scowl at him calling you his wife. 

“Not much work in the city. You may have to go further,” one of the men called out. 

“Thank you for the suggestion. We’ll take it into consideration,” Aemond replied and indicated the horse to continue forward. 

“Have I seen you somewhere before?” the man in the back asked, and he was looking directly at you. 

You shook your head, but did not speak for fear that your shaky voice would betray you. 

“I highly doubt it. My wife and I have lived very remote for the last few years. But she does have the type of beauty that feels familiar to many,” he said and one hand curled around your hip protectively. 

“Safe travels,” he then said before they could reply and continued his guidance of the horse forward and past the group of men. 

“To you as well,” one of the men replied but there was something in his voice that pricked at the back of your neck. 

You turned and watched the men as they rode in the opposite direction. 

Once they were out of sight you heaved a sigh of relief and slumped back into his body. 

He buried his face in your neck and hair and hummed softly. 

“I do not think they believed our story. We must make haste as well as change our route, otherwise we may find more trouble,” Aemond said.  

You allowed yourself a few more moments of comfort from his touch before you sat up straighter and put as much space between the two of you that riding together on a horse would allow, which wasn’t very much. 

“Okay,” you said shakily. 

_______________

Trouble found you not much later in the form of a viciously cold thunderstorm. 

Harsh rain turned into ice as it pelted your skin. The cold cut through and seeped into your bones. 

Aemond had already led the horse off the beaten path and through the woods, a lesser known path he claimed to be familiar with. 

The trees did not provide enough protection from the weather, however. 

Hooded cloaks could only do so much to prevent one from becoming soaked. 

As quickly as possible, but also after what felt like an eternity, Aemond spotted a shallow cave on the side of a large hill. 

It was protected enough from the elements to provide a reprieve.  

You pulled off your cloak and found that your shirt was not as wet as you expected, the same however could not be said for your pants. 

At the look on your face Aemond said, “I do not have any additional clothes for either of us. You should still remove them and let them dry.” 

You glared at him. 

“I will freeze to death.” 

He tossed you the blankets. 

“You’ll freeze quicker wearing cold wet clothes.” 

You pursed your lips together but could not deny the logic of what he said. 

You laid out one of the blankets and then looked over your shoulder to see him murmuring softly to the horse. 

You unlaced and slid your feet out of your boots, grateful they had protected your thick socks enough that they were still dry, then shucked off your wet trousers. 

You laid them beside your cloak in an attempt to allow them to dry before you laid on top of the blanket and pulled the second blanket firmly over you to protect your modesty. 

“This storm will surely delay us. Hopefully it passes during the night,” Aemond said. 

“What will happen to me when we arrive at our destination?” you asked in a small voice. 

He turned back and looked at you in concern. 

“Do you imagine I would drag you to some horrific fate?” he said, replying to your question with another question.  

You turned over so your back was facing him, partially to give him privacy to undress and partially to avoid his gaze as you spoke. 

“I… I do not know you as I once did,” you murmured. 

“Hm,” he hummed in discontent as he laid beside you. 

“Though we grew apart, I would never wish you ill,” he said finally. 

“Grew apart?” you scoffed. 

He sighed. 

“Your former betrothed had already sworn himself to my sister. The plan is to end your prior engagement and wed you to an ally of my brother. That way your father’s arm is twisted into remaining our ally rather than switching sides in this impending war,” he said. 

The silence after he spoke felt heavy. The only sounds were the pouring rain as it beat against your small hiding place and your heartbeat as it pounded. 

Finally you spoke slowly, “I was right before. This truly is the worst kidnapping I’ve ever been a part of.” 

A huff of hair fell past his lips, it almost sounded like a laugh. 

“It was Aegon’s plan and nothing I attempted to counsel could dissuade him,” he said. 

“My father will be furious,” you said, your voice shaky as shivers wracked your body. Even under the blanket, the cold felt inescapable. 

“Less so if you are agreeable to your new betrothed,” he murmured. 

You suddenly felt the heat of him against your back and squeaked in surprise as he wrapped a strong arm around your waist and pulled you against him. 

“Hush. I cannot possibly sleep with your teeth clattering so loudly as you shiver,” he said haughtily. 

You were stiff for a moment but too quickly felt yourself relax and melt into his body and the warmth he provided. 

You could not even be angry with him, for you were far too comfortable. 

“Who is to be my new betrothed?” you asked quietly, after a few moments of silence. 

You waited for his response. 

Finally he said, “I do not know.” 

You weren’t quite certain if you believed him, but exhaustion weighed heavy upon you and wrapped in his warmth you were swiftly pulled into unconsciousness. 

_______________

You were floating, for now, though you began to fear as water rose and rose around you. Then you were flailing as a hand wrapped around your ankle and attempted to pull you down. 

You fought your hardest, but you were powerless against the strength of that hand. 

You ran out of air and attempted to breathe, but choked on salty water, and attempted to scream but no sounds came out. 

You were being pulled into inky depths until fire surrounded you, turning the water into mist and you could breathe, you could breathe in deep as hot dry air that filled your lungs. 

The fire twirled, danced around you and burned the hand that attempted to drown you. 

You were free, and as you sobbed in relief, the fire licked at your cheek, never burning - never hurting, and dried the tears on your cheeks. 

A voice murmured your name, and so you reached a hand for that voice, up and away from the dark murky water. 

“We need to go,” Aemond said, his voice urgent as he shook your shoulder. 

You groaned and attempted to pull the blanket over your head, but it was tugged from your grip. 

You opened one eye and found the object of your ire as he knelt beside you, staring at you with one eyebrow up, judgment clear on his face. 

“You really are a horribly deep sleeper, it is near impossible to wake you, it is no wonder you were so easily captured,” he mused then stood and pulled the blanket completely off you. 

“Asshole” you seethed as you yanked down your shirt where it had rucked up enough to show your underclothes. 

He winked at you as he turned around to give you the privacy to redress. You clenched your teeth in anger as you held back your retort. 

You groaned internally as you realized it was still raining. It was certainly no longer storming as it had been only hours before, if your level of exhaustion was any indication, but it still rained rather heavily. 

You were in for what would certainly be another miserable day if your pounding head and Aemond’s chipper attitude were any indication. 

You swiftly pulled on your pants, boots, and cloak and trudged back into the rain. 

_______________

The rain slowed and stopped sometime early in the morning. 

The conversation between you and Aemond did the same after one too many snippy comments from you. And also him. The tension was rather strong. 

It had been so long that there was anger and hurt feelings between the two of you that you hardly remembered the love and friendship that was once there. 

No, that was a lie. It haunted you. There was a reason you had been unable to stand his presence for years without nearly biting his head off. 

When you were children he had been your best friend, your childhood crush, your biggest ally and confidant. Until all of that love turned into hurt feelings and resentment. 

You had entirely too much time this morning to ruminate on the past, and the thought occurred to you that maybe you should discuss it with him and attempt to put it behind you. 

You turned and looked back at him. 

It frustrated you endlessly that a part of you that you had attempted to squash for years was attracted to him. 

It was not lost on you that the boy you grew up with had become a dashing, lethal warrior. 

With his sharp cheekbones and jawline and curved lips that were entirely too distracting…

“Why are you staring at me?” he asked dryly. 

You huffed and turned back around. 

This adventure had, to your utter dismay, softened your feelings towards the man who sat behind you, pressed against you, his long silver hair blowing around the two of you in the wind. 

“Nothing,” you muttered. 

You knew if you looked back you would see a smirk on his perfect lips and it ignited your anger once again. 

You let silence fall and couldn’t find the courage within you to share your thoughts and feelings. 

_______________

“Do you plan to stop any time today?” you complained. 

“Surely you- shit,” he cut himself off and cursed as he snapped the reins and urged the horse to speed from a walk into a gallop. 

He yanked his hood over his head. 

“What is it?” you asked as you craned your head to see around his body. 

“Shit,” you echoed him. 

A group of about ten men on horses had rounded the hidden curve of the path behind the two of you. 

“Do you think those are the suspicious assholes from before?” you asked worriedly. 

Aemond pursed his lips into a thin line as he nodded stiffly. 

“We can’t outrun them, not with two people on one horse,” he said. 

“D-do we fight? I can’t fight. Oh my gods, Aemond you’re ruining my life. I should be married to a boring old man right now, not running for my life with my worst enemy-”

“Quiet, we are not going to fight, you ridiculous woman. We are going to act normal and do our best to talk our way out of this situation,” he said calmly as the men sped their horses and closed in on the two of you. 

One man, the same man who didn’t stop staring at you the last time you saw him, led his horse directly in your path, causing Aemond to yank the reins of his horse. 

The horse skidded to a stop abruptly and you gripped Aemond’s hand as your heart began to gallop in fear. 

“Well hello again,” the man said with an all too knowing smile. 

You gulped. 

“Hello there, what a pleasant surprise to see you again,” Aemond replied. 

The men chuckled darkly and you shivered. 

Aemond placed a hand on your thigh and stroked his thumb back and forth in an effort to reassure you. 

“It certainly is a truly pleasant surprise,” one of the men practically purred. 

“Well, perhaps we can schedule a third meeting, but otherwise my wife and I have to get going,” Aemond said. 

“Your wife, huh? I mentioned she looked familiar, didn’t I?”

“Hm,” Aemond hummed noncommittally. 

You began to feel queasy and perhaps slightly lightheaded. 

“Well, now there’s a ransom out for a runaway bride. The description matches your wife exactly.” 

Your breaths became shallow as the men leered at you. 

Aemond chuckled in a way that made him appear completely unconcerned. 

“I am sorry to inform you that my wife and I have been married for years, so you must be mistaken,” he replied. 

“Really? Because I think we would’ve heard if a Targaryen got married. Isn’t that right, Prince Aemond?,” the dark haired man said. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

You wish you were better at this. 

Say something. Say anything, you screamed at yourself. 

You were frozen, you were frozen, and you clung to Aemond’s hand as your only lifeline in your fear. 

Good gods, you were tired of being afraid. It wasn’t just the cold terror you were experiencing. No, dread and fear had been a part of your life ever since Aemond had walked out of it when you were young. You feared rejection, your duties in life, your future. 

So you made a decision right then and there, with tears pooling in your eyes, that you would never be afraid again. 

You would fight, you would become a fighter, a warrior, whatever it took. Starting here and now. 

“What do you want from us?” you asked sharply. 

The men laughed once again and instead of fear slicing through you, it was anger. 

“Well we would like a payday, pretty lady,” one of the men from the back said and they all gave you predators smiles. 

“And I would like to go one day without a man being an absolute prick,” you snapped back. 

The men’s faces hardened. 

“Perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement,” Aemond said and he gripped your waist. 

“How about we capture you and sell you for ransom?” the man teased back. 

“Not fucking again,” you said with gritted teeth. 

You reached behind you and slowly pulled Aemond’s dagger out of the sheath at his waist. 

His fingers brushed yours, but he didn’t stop you. 

You weren’t certain what his plan contained, surely he had one, but you were sick of waiting. 

Particularly after the men laughed in a way that made your skin crawl. 

“She’s got a mouth on her. I like that,” one of the men said. 

The knife flew from your hand and buried itself in the chest of the man blocking the path. 

“Shit,” Aemond hissed as he snapped the reins and the horse launched herself forward. 

The man slid off his horse with a thud, the horse neighed loudly in a panic and rose on its hind legs but you, Aemond, and your horse were already passing by. 

The other men stared in shock which gave your horse enough time to get past the group of harassers. 

Then the shouting began. 

Aemond pulled out his sword as he shouted, “Take the reins!” 

You did as he ordered and snapped them once more, the horse was now galloping at top speed. 

You knew it wouldn’t be enough. 

There was a clearing in the trees up ahead and as you saw a large shadow over it you looked back at Aemond, eyes widened in a silent question. 

He nodded and you threw up a prayer to any gods listening that the two of you would make it. 

His sword clashed with a man who caught up to the two of you. 

You yanked another knife out of the saddle bag and turned just in time to see another man catching up with his sword out and pointing at you. 

You aimed and let the dagger fly from your hand and watched it reach its mark directly between the attacker’s eyes. 

You gasped a sigh of relief at the same time Aemond gutted the other man. 

The clearing in the trees was closer. 

“Do you have any more daggers?” you asked.

“No,” he said through gritted teeth as he engaged in another sword fight. 

The wind tore at you as the horse raced at a breakneck speed. 

Finally, just as the other men were nearly caught up and Aemond felled another foe, you reached the break in the trees and your horse sprinted through the clearing. As soon as you were clear, Vhagar appeared to fall from the sky with an ear shattering roar as she landed between you and your pursuers, crushing a few of them.

The ground shook hard enough that your teeth clattered and you tightened your grip on your horse. 

“Dracarys Vhagar!” Aemond yelled. 

Her roar turned into flame hot enough to turn your tormentors into ashes and you gasped in relief, a few tears slipping from your eyes.

You led the horse to slow and stopped and stared at Vhagar with wide eyes, both fearful and in awe. 

Aemond slid off the horse before he helped you as well.

“Are you alright?” Aemond asked worriedly as he pulled you into his arms. 

You allowed yourself to sink into his embrace for a count of five before you pulled away and pointed a finger in his face. 

“I’m not done fighting. I am incredibly angry with you,” you said strongly. 

He blinked in surprise. 

“For capturing you and getting you into this situation?” he asked cautiously. 

“No,” you said with a dismissive wave of the hand, “I’m over that. I think my actions have shown that.” 

He raised his eyebrow at you, his only show of confusion. 

“I’m angry at you for abandoning me,” you said heatedly as your breathing quickened and your eyes stung with tears. 

“What?” he asked, his tone suddenly flat. 

“You decided that obtaining a dragon meant you no longer had to concern yourself with the likes of those below you. And that is fuc-”

“That’s your version of the story?” he chuckled spitefully. 

He leaned down so his gorgeous face was closer to yours. 

“High talk for someone who was disgusted at being associated with a cripple,” he said, his lip curled in anger and his teeth clenched. 

“What?” it was your turn to ask. 

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, his anger becoming something vicious. 

“I wouldn’t. I would never-” 

“Aegon told me! He heard you talking to one of the other noble children and-” 

“He lied! Your brother is a lying piece of shit!” 

You were both breathing heavily, your faces merely inches apart. 

“I…. He lied?” he asked. 

“Yes, you asshole,” you seethed. 

He licked his lips as he stared at you thoughtfully, the anger deflating from his face. 

“I would never drop you just because I got a dragon, you were my closest and most cherished friend,” he said. 

“And you were mine,” you admitted. “That’s why I was so angry and rude to you… which I regret.”

“I find myself full of feelings of regret as well. I was unaware of your side of the story,” he said softly. 

“All that time wasted,” you said. 

“Hm,” he hummed in agreement. 

His face was still close to yours. There was a heat between the two of you that had not dissipated just because the anger was gone. Then you remembered your agreement with yourself. 

You took a deep breath, “I don’t plan on wasting any more time. I’ve lived my life in fear for far too long. Fear of being rejected, fear of becoming too attached to anyone else, fear of fulfilling my duty, and fear of the consequences of not fulfilling it. Fear of my own feelings, my own wants. But not anymore. I’ll face whatever the future and duty expects of me but today….” 

“Today?” he prompted as he glanced down at your lips, then met your gaze once more. 

“Today I am going to act on my feelings and desires for once and face the consequences later.” you said as you placed a hand on his chest. 

“And what are your desires?” he practically purred as he cupped your cheek with his hand. 

“Kiss me,” you breathed out. 

His lips pressed into yours, and it wasn’t a slow gentle kiss like you had always imagined your first kiss with Aemond to be, no it was fiery and all consuming. As his lips moved against yours you did what you had always wanted to do, and tangled your fingers in his silken white hair. 

He groaned softly as you tightened your grip and he hauled you impossibly closer against the hard planes of his body. 

At the brush of his tongue against yours, you whimpered with desire. 

A shiver went all the way down your spine and your toes curled as he consumed you. 

Vhagar roared and you pulled back from him with a laugh. His crooked smile melted your heart and he nudged his nose against yours and kissed you once more, softly and sweetly. 

As he pulled back you grinned at him. 

He didn’t release you from his embrace, which you were grateful for. But, he did take a deep breath as he stared deeply into your eyes. 

“I must tell you that I was not completely honest with you before,” he said, his voice low and vulnerable. 

“About what?” you asked carefully. 

“I do know who my brother intends to betroth you to,” he replied. 

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion, wordlessly asking him to explain, even as you extricated yourself from his grasp and crossed your arms. 

He pressed his lips together. 

“You are to marry me,” he said finally. 

“What?” you gasped. 

To be continued....

[uraharashouten]

@the-lightning-underdog​ said:

"Where do we keep the really super premium stash of chocolates? I'm trying to rustle up some gifts for Candice for Valentine's Day."

The super-premium stash—?

.............of chocolates. For Valentine’s Day. Oh. Well, that changed things.

“Are you certain you want to give her chocolates? Which of you wears the pants in that relationship?” Actually, they both did. Hm. “Does this mean you’ll be expecting a gift from her for White Day? —But if you insist on acknowledging the holiday, perhaps a nice bouquet would suit better? Maybe one with some... lush foliage...”

[glilboy]

ATEEZ Reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Maknae Line

i tried so hard to finish this afterworo and before bed lol. the first part did, so well? im genuinely shocked ill be honest. hope this one is just as good.

requests are open btw!!

tws below the cut

Warning! This work of fiction contains mentions of quirofilia, strength kink, dom/sub dynamics implications and general explicit topics

San:

"Baby just let me play it I just want to get us to the same level," San whined at you about a game you both played. He practically coaxed you into playing but now you genuinely enjoyed it, being hesitent to let him get you farther.

"I want to experience it myself though Sannie," you pouted back at him leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I just want to do the things you've been avoiding! It'll give you enough experience to be the same level, please," his voice became higher pitched which was your call to just let him do it.

"Whatever," you said in a fake angry voice, instantly giggling, "you do that, I'm gonna go grab a snack." You hopped up and off the bed, leaving your phone for him to mess with.

Picking up your phone, happy he got his way, he went to open the app but one was already open.

Humming he read a bit and when he read his name he twitched a little. So this was what you liked. San made you extremely nervous which caused you to be a bit hesitant to share what you liked in bed. You planned to tell him one day but he hurried that process up.

Hearing you coming back he quickly opened the right app even though he now had no actual intention to progress you.

"I am back!" you smiled plopping down with some cut fruit.

"No shit," he mused causing you to roll your eyes with a smile. His brain itching to do something now, an idea popped in seeing you eat the fruit.

Taking a piece of strawberry he held it up to your lips, you unknowingly smiled and took the fruit into your mouth. His breathing accelerated. Waiting a few minutes before he took another piece, he at first popped a piece into his mouth then grabbing another to hold it up again. You took the piece but a muffled sound of surprise came out with it when san shoved his fingers inside a bit.

Looking at him wide eyed and confused you met his which looked at you intensely. You didn't even have a chance to stop yourself before you started to suck his fingers.

"Fuck," he mumbled his gaze going a bit hazy at seeing you like this.

After sucking on his fingers for a moment you let go with a pop.

"You should really let me read more of those stories Y/N," him saying that is what made it all hit.

"Wait- oh shit," you mumbled before he took your jaw in one of his hands squishing your mouth open. The other holding another piece and pressing it to your tongue.

"I would've known sooner just how pretty you think my hands are dear."

Mingi:

Mingi could feel his face turn red, not suspecting is seemingly soft tasted girlfriend to read stuff like this. He was just trying to help! You were busy cooking dinner and asked him to send a text back to your friend, forgetting what you were last doing.

He gulped and set down your phone once sending the message. He wanted to talk about it but he had no clue how to bring it up. Once seated eating dinner you could feel the energy was off since earlier he was in such a great mood. You chose to ask about it after the meal not wanting to have an awkward dinner.

Washing the dishes you didn't feel Mingi approach from behind until he wrapped his hands around your waist.

"Hm? What's up baby?" You hummed softly with a smile.

"Can you do the dishes later...I need to talk to you about something," He set his chin on your shoulder and you could just hear a slight pout in his voice.

Drying off your hands you turned around to look at him, "what's up Mingi?"

He leaned up and took a deep breathe making you a bit worried.

"I- um fuck- Y/N I saw whats on your phone," he hesitated before just ripping off the bandaid.

Your face instantly dropped mumbling a small "ah fuck"

You stayed silent with his hands sitting on your waist. You looked at him before speaking, "Gi, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Do you want to talk about how you feel about seeing it? I'm sure you're pissed."

He tilted his head questioningly at the end, "What no- I mean, like yeah it could be weird but you're reading about me so I don't see an issue, at least as of now."

You we're now pretty puzzled, a bit tongue tied. If you remembered right, the work you had been reading was well pretty aggressive so you were sure Mingi would be weirded out. He was a soft guy and you guys experimented occasionally but nothing that far.

Being able to tell you got in your head he spoke again, "I liked it. I...liked it Y/N."

Looking back at him, his hands tightened on your waist and he moved closer so your lips brushed each others.

"Please- Fuck, can we try it?"

wooyoung:

"Y/N! Can I use your phone for a second?" Wooyoung whined laying on the bed while you we're folding laundry. He wanted attention but you had chores to do.

"Why?" You looked at him weird, knowing he was up to something.

"You'll see," he smiled, just wanting to take selfies on your phone but opened it to a book of sorts.

Curiosity got the best of him as he skimmed the page, a faint blush creeping up his neck. You guys had done a lot but something in him was set off, a smile creeping up his lips.

"Pervert," He spoke deadpanned up at you making you frown before it clicked.

"Wooyoung."

"Y/N."

A moment passed before suddenly he popped up, grabbing your hair and forcing your face into the bed. A giggle sounded from behind you as he leaned down to talk into your ear, "You read stuff like that? You're that horny for just me that you read that kind of shit? Lord your fucking head over heels for me."

"Shut the fuck up-" Your voice got cut off as he lifted you up by your hair, a hand wrapping around your throat making your mind flutter.

"Say that one more time and I'll fuck your face until you pass out like that little book dear."

Jongho:

It was supposed to be a night filled with movies, snacks, giggles and cuddles but your bladder decided to change the trajectory of the night. Excusing yourself to the bathroom you left your phone on the table faced up, not remembering that you left your tumblr notifications on around someone. The phone pinged three times in a row, making Jongho curious to which he glanced over at it.

'c. j 10:15

strength kink'

"What," he said outloud.

Clicking on the notification he began to read the work, blushing at it and embarrassed that he..liked it. Licking his lips he looked around a bit flustered.

When he heard the bathroom door shut he quickly set your phone back down, trying to not awkwardly sit there. You came back like nothing was wrong, cuddling into his side continuing to watch the film.

This is where a few days passed, each day driving Jongho more and more up the wall. Hiding in the bathroom at the studio just to get off without the chance of being caught, at least by you. Scenarios spinning in his head constantly making him want to do anything and everything at once.

When he got home that day you weren't there, his need skyrocketing to the moon. He quickly made it to your bed room and moved to the bed taking off his shirt in the process. He searched around frantically for anything of yours, spotting a t-shirt a few feet away. He pulled down his sweats letting his member spring free, bringing the shirt up to his face to inhale your scent and began to jerk off.

You on the other hand just had your friend drop you off, you jumping up the stairs excited to bring home some pastries to your boyfriend. Coming inside you quickly slipped off your shoes and looked around for him. Seeing he wasn't in the living room you headed towards your bedroom asumming he was there. Opening the door to a sight to see, Jongho jerking himself off while smelling your shirt.

You stood there silent until he opened his eyes, him now being in such a deep mindspace he didn't even seem phased. Slipping his pants back up he waltzed over to you and stood there staring at you.

"I've been going fucking insane, Y/N," he spoke getting closer, shutting the door behind you.

"What do you mean baby?" You asked softly at him. He smiled a bit and lifted a hand to your shoulder making you inhale.

"Your little fucking stories Y/N."

You looked at him wide eyed, thinking you might know which one he saw. "Jo- Fuck I'm sorry, oh god," you began to frantically apologize.

That was when he picked you up and held you up against the wall with one arm, the other hand sitting lazily around your neck.

"No. No. You've been driving me crazy in a good way. Now let me fuck you against this wall unless you want me cumming in your t-shirt."

[sadlysoulx]

HAIKYUU CHARACTERS THINKING YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH THEM

(part 3 w/ Kita and Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2

⚠️ Warning⚠️: Angst

Holy shit. Did I just left a request for almost a month and a half. GOMEENNNN IM SO SORRY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED IT. I forgot about it since I deleted Tumblr because y'know ✨storage✨ and because school is almost ending here and that means more school work. Im so so so so sorry, i hope finally posting the request can make it up to u. . .😔

Kita

He swung open the door, frowning. He isn't tired.

No.

He is exhausted.

The momment he went in your shared apartment, he was met by your crushing hug. Kita sighed, and slightly pushed you off.

"Hi. . ." You breathed out. "How was your day?"

Kita wanted to sarcastically say that it was the best, but he doesn't but to ruin your mood just because he had a very bad day.

"It's fine. . ." He simply said.

You laughed.

"How about let's go watch a movie?" You smiled, as you followed him into the bedroom. "I found a  good one, it's called Ocean's 8!"

You watched as Kita slipped into his pajamas, not really noticing a deep frown on his face.

"It's about a heist, I know you like those," you carefully set the CD on to the player and turned on the TV, smiling when the movie started playing.

You strutted back to the bed and your eyes landed on Kita, who was already laying down on his side of the bed, back turned to you.

"Hey!" You nudged him playfully. "C'mon let's wat—"

"Cut it off!" Kita frowned.

Your smile dropped immediately.

"Stop it okay? God your so fucking annoying," he sighed. "You know sometimes I wish I didn't asked you out. I'll waiting for you to break up with me, I have no problem with that,"

Your eyes teared up. A heavy feeling settled at the bottom of your stomach. The way he didn't stutter and the way he sounds genuine only made it painful.

But he didn't really mean it.

Right?

"I'm sorry," you got off the bed and took out the CD from the player, trying to hide you shaky voice. "I won't bother you anymore,"

He really wished he didn't say that.

But it was too late.

He woke up to you packing your things. Surprised and confused, he slowly got up, waking to you.

"Love, what are you doing?" You froze for a second before continuing to pack your things faster. "Love?"

You went out the bedroom, leaving Kita confused. Memories came flooding back in his head. Slowly but painfully, panic settled him.

You came back in the bedroom to pack up your other things.

"Love," Kita took the bag out of your hands, eyeing the half-empty closet of yours nervously. "Stop,"

"Kita!" You tried to grab the bag back but in your disappointment, he raised it up, out of your reach.

"You used to call me 'Love'," he smiled sadly, his eyes starting to water. "What happened to that?"

You stopped your attempt to get the bag back and stared at him, your own eyes starting to water. He dropped the back and his arms fell in his sides limply.

"You know I didn't mean what I said yesterday right?" He tried so hard to not to cry and tried so hard to keep his composture.

"So tell me. . ."

He let his tears fall.

"Why are you leaving me?" He sobbed out. "Y-you— We promised we won't let each other go!" he screamed, tears falling down continuously, not stopping. "What happened to that?!"

You sobbed and looked at the side, not having the courage to look at him at the eye.

"Don't leave me!" He begged and fell on his knees, head hanging low.

You slowly kneeled down and took his head on your hands, crying because you hated seeing him like this.

"I won't," you smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "I won't, love,"

He sobbed and hugged you, crying onto the crook of your neck.

"Don't do that ever again," he cried, body shaking furiously.

You closed you eyes, smiling as you try to stop your tears.

"I would never,"

"I love you," he sobbed.

More tears fell.

"I love you more," you whispered, hugging him tighter.

Suna

Waking up from your sleep, you turned to the side, trying to feel for the familiar warmth. You opened your eyes, and saw that Suna wasn't actually there.

Again.

Squinting in the dark, you felt for your phone. Pressing the contact, your fingers flew over the letters of the keyboard.

'Where are you?' You sent.

There was no reply.

After 20 minutes of laying back on the bed, your phone lit up again, flashing a notification from your boyfriend.

'I'm coming home,' he replied, yet he didn't answer your question.

After a couple of minutes waiting, the door opened, revealing Suna who looked very tired.

"Where were you?" You asked.

He didn't answer and went in the bathroom. Sighing, you lay down on your bed, scrolling on your phone. Your mind wandered off.

Where would he even go at this late times like this?

A dreadful thought, made your stomach drop.

He isn't cheating, is he?

You shook your head, he wouldn't do that. He would never will because you trust him.

Suna came out of the bathroom, hair wet and droplets falling on the floor.

"You didn't answer my question," you pointed out, back turned to him.

Suna groaned out and lay down on his side if bed, back also turned to you. "Chill, I had a volleyball practice with the twins,"

"At this late time?" You scoffed.

"What do you want me to say?" Suna frowned and turned off the night lamp. "That I'm cheating on you?" There was a rustle as he lay down on the bed. "Y/N, please stop, okay?"

"I never pointed out that you are cheating on me," you said, anger starting to take over you. "You're the one who mentioned it,"

You stayed silent.

"You're probably giving me a hint that you actually are,"

Suna laughed, it wasn't the usual one that he lets out that when you say a cheesy joke, but it sounds like a stressed one, not a genuine laugh.

"See?" He said. "You're suspicious of me. Stop thinking that I'm cheating on you or else I'll actually will,"

"Unless I break up with you before you even can," you spat, you tried to hide your tears but let it out because you realized he won't see you in the dark.

There was a few momments if silence. Not a comfortable one nor the awkward ones but the heart breaking ones because none of you are brave enough to speak out your feelings.

"You're gonna leave me?"

You tried to stay still to pretend you were sleeping, but it didn't work because you were already shaking from holding your sobs.

"Please don't," he softly said, there was a waver in his voice, and you know, you just know he was already crying.

"I love you, you know that," he said, he turned around a hugged you from your behind, spooning you. "So I'm begging you. . ."

"Don't leave me," he whispered, sobbing afterwards. Suna wasn't the type to cry infront of others and the type to try not to cry infront of you. You turned around, kissing his forehead and wiping his tears.

"You don't need to tell me that," you smiled, tears still falling as you pressing your cheek on his chest. "I won't do that anyways,"

"I love you," he croaked out.

"Shut up, I love you more,"

Requests are closed for a while because I can't risk one to be hanging for a long time like that. Once school is over, I'll open it again.

Follow me on Wattpad.

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THANK YOU FOR 202 FOLLOWERS 😭💕

[aliciaandandrea]

Family Friend - Zayn Oneshot Part 2 (FULL)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Damn okay it has been 7 years since I posted the part 2 preview of this oneshot. I haven’t been active on tumblr for a couple of years so this might be weird for my new followers, and I don’t even know if people still read smut now a days. But I’ve gotten notifications about people liking the posts on this series plus I received messages about the full part 2 of this series over the years. So to those people who messaged me and/or for those people who wanted an update, this is for you (just a disclaimer: I was 18 when I wrote the preview and am now 25...so if this is cringy or you think I’ve lost my touch, I apologize LOL):

=============================================

It has been a week since the cottage and I haven’t heard from Zayn since. I should have saw it coming. We almost hooked up, but I’m glad we didn’t, especially with that attitude of his. I was going through my phone and I decided to text Shawn, who’s been my crush before Zayn entered back into the picture.

“Heyy Shawn…” I texted him. “Hey Y/N :) Whats up?” he texted back. “Bored as always, you?” I asked “Same, I feel like we haven’t hung out at all this summer :(” he wrote. “lol thats because we haven’t” I texted. “Well let me make it up to you. My friend and his gf are goin to the movies tonight and asked if I wanted to go…I don’t wanna be the third wheel…do you wanna join?”he texted me. Did this guy just ask me out? “I’d love to :), just text me the details.” I texted back. And he did just that. I put on my low cut grey graphic tank with a black bralette under it and my black maxi skirt, while putting my hair up in a half up-do and keeping my makeup natural.

Before I could touch up my doorbell rang. I opened the door thinking it was Shawn but then stormed inside Zayn with no explanation. “What do you want?” I said bitterly as I closed the door after he walked inside. “You can’t fucking call me back?” he said looking at me. “What the hell are you talking about Zayn” I said walking up to him. “What do you call this?” he said tossing me his phone. On the screen was his call log, He’s called me once every day, except..that wasn’t my number. It was a fake one I gave as a joke when he asked for it one day. “Zayn that's not my number,” I said giving back his phone. “What the fuck is your problem then? You know I have fucking feelings for you !” He said fed up. I didn't know what to say. He just told me he had feelings for me. “Zayn..I..” I said trying to hold his hand but he pulled it away and turned away from me. “Fine. You wanna behave like that go ahead. And don't fucking tell me that I’m playing you. You’ve been teasing me ever since you found out that I liked you and then you almost hookup with me leaving me with a hickey that was hard to explain at dinner with mine and your parents and then you don't even fucking talk or try to reach out to me in a week. Don’t you even go there.” I said angrily. At this point we were both pissed. We managed to both profess our feelings and hatred towards each other…all at the same time. We were going to either end up fucking on my couch or wrestle on it. “Did you not see the phone calls that I supposedly made out to you. And why the fuck have I been hearing from people that you’ve been sleeping around with other guys?” “What the fuck Zayn? You hear anything you want to believe don't you. This entire time I’ve been thinking of you, you idiot.” I said as he chuckled. He composed himself then stared at me, “Where the fuck are you going?” “To the movies..with Shawn.” I said looking down. “And this is what I’m talking about, you’re going out with a loser and trying to get laid with that outfit.” he said as his body tensed up, looking up and down at me. At that point I was pissed, but I was not going to let that jerk ruin my night. We both stared at each other angrily. My ringtone broke the silence, Shawn was calling me. “Hey Shawn,” I said out loud for Zayn to here as I glared at him. He shot me an irritated look. “Yeah I’ll be there soon, can’t wait to finally see you,” I flirted with Shawn making Zayn jealous. “Yeah its been a long time,” I said as I ‘accidentally’ put my phone on speaker so Zayn could hear. “Maybe you could stay over for breakfast,” Shawn joked but that's when Zayn snapped. He grabbed my phone, hung it up and threw it onto the couch. He looked at me with a lustful look as I furrowed my eyebrows at him, but was secretly loving the fact that he was jealous. Jealous Zayn was probably my favorite Zayn. “That’s it,” he growled at me as he threw me over his shoulder. “Zayn put me down!! What the fuck are you doing??” I said playing victim, even though I knew what he was going to do. “Something I should have done a long time ago.” Zayn said as he kicked the door shut and threw me onto my bed. “I don’t know what you think you’re about to do right now, but I’ve got a date to get to tonight” I said eyeing him as he climbed on top of me. “Yeah?”. Zayn asked as he bit my bottom lip causing me to let out a little whimper, “What was his name again?”, Zayn asked as he was kissing my jawline and biting the sensitive area. I blanked out for a good few seconds, wanting to wrap my legs around him and pull him closer, but I couldn’t let him win this one. “Ohh yess Shawn..” I moaned to irritate Zayn while pulling his hair. He stared me down but before we could continue, the doorbell rang. “Fuck”, Zayn said as he got off me. Zayn got to the door before I could and of course there was Shawn looking confused as to why there was a man at my house with disheveled hair.

“Hey Y/N..” Shawn said to me, as Zayn stared daggers. “Can we help you?” Zayn asked, "We’re in the middle of something important, so it’d be great if you can, I don’t know, fuck off?” he continued with a smirk. “Sorry, Shawn, I’m ready we can go,” I said to him before turning back to get my bag. “I don’t know where you think you’re going,” Zayn said looking at me before turning back to Shawn. “You know what, maybe we can go out another time, I didn’t realize - ...” Shawn started to say before getting rudely interrupted by Zayn who said “Didn’t realize what? That she already had a boyfriend? Fuck off now will you.” Zayn shuts the door on Shawn, and blocks me from trying to open it.

“What the fuck are you doing Zayn?” I asked trying to move him to open the door. He gently grabs my wrists and looked into my eyes, “We need to finish what we started”, he says hungrily. I manage to free my wrists, push Zayn against the door, then proceed to walk away from him, “In your dreams“ I say flipping him off from behind me. Before I know it Zayn has picked me up bridal style and is taking me back to my bed. We’ve reached a point where we both want this to happen, as deep down we knew something had to be done with the intense sexual tension between us. I was torn between wanting to fuck like wild animals vs wanting to make slow and passionate love, to take our time and explore each other with the limited time frame we had. As if he read my mind, “Slow or rough?” Zayn asks as we arrive at the foot of the bed.

“Both”, I said as Zayn dropped me on top of the bed for the 2nd time tonight. He stood over me, slowly taking off his Denim Jacket, leaving him in his baggy grey t-shirt and black jeans. I looked at him impatiently, wanting to help him get out of his clothes, but he just smirked at me and said “Well, you said both”. Fine, he can take his time, but I’m not gonna wait any longer as I knew my parents were coming back home from their night out. I knelt on the bed in-front of him taking off my low cut grey graphic tank revealing the lacy black bralette under it, then pushed my girls into him aching for him to touch me. But he just stood there staring into my eyes, as he took off his baggy grey t-shirt. “What is he doing”, I thought to myself, “What are WE doing, playing follow the leader?”. It was getting too much for me, I needed him. I grabbed his face but decided to tease him by gently having our lips barely touch. “We don’t have much time, my parents might come home soon”, I whispered against his lips, desperate for him to give in. “What?” he said pulling back a little. “My parents might be home soon, plus -” Zayn stops me from continuing. “I want to take my time with you. And I know you need all of me. If we’re going to this, I don’t want a few minutes with you, I want you for as long as I can have you.” Zayn says holding my face. Look I know I could have shut my mouth and not brought up the fact that my parents were going to come home soon, but I couldn’t risk having them walk in on us like they almost had when we were at the cottage.

We both redressed and I walked Zayn to the door, as I needed Zayn to leave before my parents got back. “Can I have your actual number this time?” Zayn said as he pulled out his phone. I giggled and put my real number with a kiss and rose emoji as part of my contact name. “I’ll text you,” Zayn says before he opens the door. “Wait,” I said. Before I knew it I pushed him against the door again but this time I kissed him. We began making out, taking turns biting each others lips and teasing each other with our tongues. We tried to pull each other closer; I pulled on his hair as he groped me making me moan and whimper. We couldn’t get enough of each other, as we got lost in our little foreplay. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar honk, and a set of keys jiggling on the other side of the door. Fucking hell, my parents were home...

============================================================

LIKE/MESSAGE ME FOR PART 3 IF YOU WANT !

Link to part 1: http://aliciaandandrea.tumblr.com/post/92086930206/family-friend-zayn-oneshot

[devilyn]

meet n greet | kuroo tetsurou

part 2 to your biggest fan.

— alexa, play: come thru by summer walker (ft usher).

You make me wanna come through

Quarter after two

Just to put it down on you

You make me wanna replay

All of those things

That you and me, we do

— synopsis: kuroo finally decides he wants to help you with your onlyfans. | F!READER

— genre: explicit, lots of dirty talk, an aspect of exhibitionism, no actual penetration

— word count: 2.4k

— a/n: happy valentines day lol. if u know me, u didn’t see this. also, this is a repost bc it didn’t show up in the tags so srry if u saw this b4. plz tumblr put it in the tags this time

Kuroo couldn't get your images out of his head. Whenever he glanced at you from the back of the lecture hall, it took all of his willpower to think of anything but the way you came apart just three feet away from his usual seat.

He was going to lose his mind if he didn't talk to you soon. Which is why he was standing outside the dining hall he watched you walk into just a little over half an hour ago. Courage. He needed a lot of it to approach you about this. How would he broach the topic?

"Hey, I've seen you naked, and now all I can think of is bending you over this table and--"

Yeah there was no way.

So instead, he glanced down absentmindedly at his phone and checked his notifications. A text from a groupmate, a notification that his professor put his homework grade in, some mobile game reminder, and a notification that you had just uploaded a new photo.

…?

Just now?

His brain went into autopilot as he tugged his phone closer to him so no passerbys could see what he was about to open.

You really did just post. It was a picture of your legs spread open underneath the dining hall table. You weren’t wearing any panties under your skirt--that was obvious--but you had covered up the sight of your pretty pussy with your other palm.

You had just taken this photo. Kuroo had to conjure up pictures of kittens, puppies, and volleyball tactics to force himself not to pop a boner in public.

The door next to him creaked open, and he quickly hid his phone against his chest so no one could see the screen.

“Kuroo?”

Your voice was familiar. He had dreamed of it calling his name an embarrassing amount of times at this point. But now, he felt like hiding away in shame.

“Y/N,” he greeted dumbly, forcing a smile onto his face. His cheeks were red. Just seconds ago, he was staring at your--

“Are you alright?” you asked worriedly. You stopped right in front of him, raising your hand to place gently on his forehead. “What’re you doing out here? You’re red--did you catch a cold?”

His eyes trailed slowly down from your furrowed brows, your concerned gaze, your tempting lips, until they stopped at the way your skirt was fluttering in the wind. You were so close, he was practically inhaling your scent.

“I..” his composure was slipping. “I was waiting...for you.”

You blinked, clearly surprised. You two weren’t close enough for him to wait for you after lunch...for anything, really. Your confusion was evident on your expression as you slowly tilted your head to the side, waiting for him to continue.

“...I wanted to talk to you,” he exhaled slowly, pulling your hand away from his forehead and holding it firmly in his own. Your brows furrowed further in confusion, and your lips parted to speak before he cut you off.

“You’re not wearing panties, are you?”

That certainly left you speechless. You stared up at him with wide eyes, silent as he gazed down at you.

“...how’d you know?” you finally asked, pressing your thighs together and feeling the heat gather between them now that you've been caught. His gaze trailed down slowly to observe the way you held your skirt down in response to a strong gust of wind that blew by.

“You never struck me as a type to make an OnlyFans, you know,” he murmured quietly, dark eyes finally flickering back up to meet yours. “Not in high school, at least.”

“We all have our secrets, don’t we? You never struck me as the type to buy your high school volleyball club’s manager’s OnlyFans,” you countered.

“Touche,” he grinned, confidence returning. “I was waiting here for you because I have a proposition.”

You quirked a brow.

“I may be able to help with your content,” he murmured, stepping closer and sliding a hand between your legs. You gasped, eyes widening quickly as you placed a hand on his chest. His large palm cupped your bare heat, easily slipping underneath your skirt to press the base of his palm against your clit before pulling away. Your legs trembled from the suddenness of his actions, cheeks heating up quickly as you averted your gaze.

“...why don’t you come over to my apartment so we can discuss that a bit more?” you asked with a shaky voice, and Kuroo’s smirk grew as he swung an arm around your shoulder, tugging you into his side.

“Lead the way then, manager.”

--

You had barely managed to stop Kuroo from pouncing onto you the moment your front door closed behind the two of you. You had over a hundred questions for him. When did he buy your OnlyFans, how did he find it, whether or not any of your mutual friends had seen it, and many more.

But you didn’t have the time. The instant he stepped into your apartment, he was pressing his lips to yours heatedly. You murmured a weak “bed, please--” against his lips before he pulled away and lifted you up into his arms. Your head was spinning, and before you knew it, your back was hitting your mattress and Kuroo was climbing over you.

He hovered over you for a second, gazing down at you--right in front of him. Now, he could see everything. He didn’t have to look at you through a screen, and he wasn’t obstructed by a paywall.

“Let’s start,” he practically purred as he fished his phone from his jeans, tossing it into your palms. “With a few test shots.”

You looked so cute lying beneath him with your hair splayed out around you, your lips parted to ask what he meant. With a quiet chuckle, he tilted your chin up towards him and leaned down to kiss you again. This time, his tongue slipped past your lips and slid up against yours. He poked and prodded at every inch of your mouth, absorbing the way you moaned and wrapped your arms loosely around his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against your lips as he pulled back slowly, half-lidded eyes gazing down at your flushed expression and the way you leaned up to try and brush your lips over his once more.

Reluctantly, he pulled back and laughed as you whined softly.

“Test shots?” you asked curiously while he shifted so he was kneeling at the end of your bed.

“Mhm,” he responded simply as he wrapped his arms around your thighs. “You’ll see.”

You let out a loud yelp as he suddenly yanked you towards the edge of the bed. He easily hoisted your thighs up and practically folded you in half. Kuroo spread your legs far apart and pressed your knees towards your shoulders, his firm hands keeping your trembling thighs in place.

“Ah, you look so cute like this,” he mused with a pleased sigh as he lifted himself up so he could lean up and peck your lips. “Take some nice photos for me, ‘kay?”

“Kuroo--”

“Tetsu works just fine,” he grinned as he kneeled on the ground in front of you. Your fingers fumbled to unlock his phone and pull the camera up as he lightly bit down on the edge of your skirt. With his teeth, he slowly tugged your skirt up to expose your bare pussy.

You pressed record just as his breath fanned over your heat. Slowly, he ran the flat of his tongue up your wet slit, flicking his tongue over your clit. Your thighs twitched under his palms as you inhaled sharply. The camera shook slightly in your palms as you captured an image of Kuroo’s skillful tongue running over your clit.

“Tetsu,” you whimpered, and he felt like he might cum in his pants just from the way you said his name. Slowly, he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud as he pulled one hand away from your thighs to press slowly between your folds. Without being able to help it, your hips jolted forward and a weak whine left your parted lips as his index and middle finger started to spread your tight walls open.

“Tetsu--please--” you gasped as your free hand grasped his hair, tugging at him lightly to press your dripping pussy harder against his tongue. The former captain merely smirked and wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking slowly.

Your grip on his hair tightened, and your back arched off the bed as you moaned. Kuroo was surprised you were even still holding onto his phone, capturing the way he made you fall apart on his tongue. Finally, he pulled back and stood so he could watch the way your chest rose and fell quickly, your wet cunt dripping all over your sheets. He licked his lips, savoring the way you tasted on his tongue.

“C’mere, baby girl,” he purred as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. You accepted him openly, moaning into his mouth and nipping lightly at his lower lip once the two of you part for air.

“You wanna feel my cock?” he asked quietly as he trailed kisses slowly down to your neck. He pulled back just far enough so he could pull his fingers from your tight cunt and press them to your lips. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, holding his hand in place as your tongue slipped between his index and middle finger to savor every drop of your wetness he’d offered you.

Kuroo watched in awe as you pressed a soft kiss to his palm, murmuring a quiet ‘yes, please’ against his skin.

His cock felt painfully hard in his jeans. His phone was long discarded on your sheets, but he still reached for it and placed it back into your hands. You whined as a protest, but he gently pecked your lips with a small smirk.

“Be a good girl and take pictures for your fans, alright?” his hand gripped your chin, pulling your gaze up to his dark one. “Show them who you belong to.”

Obediently, you nodded and watched as Kuroo finally unzipped his jeans, and pulled his erect cock from his boxers. You trained the camera on the way he positioned himself easily between your thighs, your free hand reaching up to cup his cheek as he leaned down to kiss you deeply.

“Such a good girl, your pussy nice and creamy all over my cock,” he growled as he slowly started to grind himself against your wet cunt. He slipped the base of his shaft between your folds, sliding himself up and down your lower lips. Each time the tip of his length thrusted up against your clit, your hips jolted into him.

“So wet for me, aren’t you?” He praised as his pace started to quicken. You could feel how hard he was against you. Every twitch and throb of his cock against your heat had you closer and closer to cumming all over him.

“Tetsu,” you managed to whimper out between breathy moans. “Can you cum for me?”

He laughed breathlessly, leaning down to capture your lips in a messy kiss. Pulling back, he whispered softly, “That’s my line, baby girl.”

Seconds later, he was burying his face into the crook of your neck as his hands gripped your sheets firmly. His hips spasmed as his rhythm became sporadic, and his thrusts started to become frantic and needy. Soon, as you moaned out words of encouragement, he groaned loudly and came to the sound of you calling his name. His cock twitched and shuddered as he came all over your bare pussy.

At the same time, your legs shook and trembled as his hot cock grinded against your sensitive clit. You came while crying out his name, thighs shaking around him as he continues to slowly rub his length up and down your folds.

Kuroo pulled away from your neck to admire his work. His cock slid along your twitching cunt, covered in his cum. With a proud grin, he took two fingers and smeared his cum all over your bare pussy. You whined softly, the feeling of overstimulation causing you to close your thighs tight around his wrist before trying to squirm away.

He laughed softly as you tried to catch your breath. He hurried to your bathroom to grab a towel to clean up the mess. When he came back, you were laying in the same spot with your legs hanging off the bed, scrolling through the pictures you had managed to take.

“How’d they turn out?” He asked curiously while gently wiping his load off your heat. Your hips twitched as you lifted your head to smile brightly at him.

“Should I split the profit with you?” you teased just as he tossed the towel to the side and helped you lay properly in bed.

“That’d be ideal, I was the other model, after all,” he snickered and leaned over so he could look through the photos again.

“Think I’m gonna make this one the public one,” you stopped at a picture of your fingers threaded through his messy black hair, his face buried in your cunt.

“Yeah?” He crawled on top of you with a smirk. You laughed as he slipped himself between your arms, cuddling up against you and burying his face in your chest.

“Mhm. But I think I’m saving this one as a special message for those who pay a little extra. What do you think?”

He looked up, following your gaze to the image on his phone screen.

The picture was one of him standing between your spread thighs, his cock pressed right up against your wet pussy, taken right after he came and covered you with his thick cum. The sight made his cock twitch and harden quickly against your thigh.

Your eyes widened as you turned your gaze to him before you sat up slightly.

“Tetsu, you’re already--?!”

He grinned and pressed a soft kiss against your neck as he swat his phone out of your hand. Lacing his fingers with yours, he flipped himself over so he could hover above you. Leaning down, he pecked your lips and laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Wanna go another round?”

[tteokdoroki]

⤷ 𝐅𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒 : WRITTEN CHAPTER

⤷ CHAPTER SUMMARY: convinced by eijiro to tell hawks how you truly feel, you decide to give him a call  and let it all out.

author’s note(s): ok so this chapter i thought would be hard to convey just over text so i decided to do it as both, however tumblr is poopy so the confession is split between part seventeen.five and part eighteen ! nonetheless please let me know how if you liked it turned out :(( ily !! ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY

previous | part eighteen - keigo takami | next

word count: 1.2K.

with shaky breaths, your tongue darts out to wet the dry planes of your lips— nervous building up as the pressure your teeth use to sink into the swell of your bottom lip. you shouldn’t be nervous. this is keigo, kei, the guy who sung songs about chicken wings and moved so fast his brain couldn’t catch up with his words. the guy who held you tight in his arms while you shook with fear, who stared at you warmly to calm your nerves on set.

keigo takami was the guy you’d fallen head over heels for.

you shift from under the blankets, the sight of your phone screen lighting up pulling you from your flurry of thoughts. the darkness of your room is brightened by keigo’s contact photo flashing before your eyes. 

it was a picture of him that you’d taken on a lunch date one day— his golden avian eyes that held nothing but the sun were focused on the delicious meal in front of him, a small, earth shattering smile painting his sweet lips. you could look at the photo for hours; but choose to answer the call before your mind can get away from you.

“kei,” his name falls easily from your tongue, tasting of familiarity and comfort, as if it were the only name you were made to say. you could never get tired of saying it, hearing it. “i missed you...”

keigo chuckles from over the line, the sweet melody reminding you of the songbirds that play their tune for you every morning. sinking into your oversized sweater, you suppress the urge to squeal like a school girl and roll over into your sheets— even the simplest things about him have you reeling from the other end of the phone. “missed me? baby bird it’s only been a few hours since you last saw me,” his timbre voice fills the air in your room, resting in every inch and every corner— surrounding you as if he was right there with you. “what is it about me that you miss baby? is it my eyes? my voice? my touch? my...”

which each suggestion, his voice drops an octave, making your heart thump louder in your chest to the point that you’re afraid he might hear it. an embarrassed heat burns at the tips of your ears, flustered without him even being there with you. “keigo takami,” you scold him gently, knowing that if he could see, the smile that spreads across your lips would betray you. “don’t you dare go making me flustered, i’m trying to tell you something important!”

“i’m all ears baby bird.”

he falls quiet, nothing but the sound of ruffling sheets and static between you. you know what you want to say, you’d practiced every word for hours with eiji over the phone before; but now that you were face to face or rather— voice to voice— you couldn’t even think straight. your palms are sweating, heart rattling against your rib cage and now your throat is dry. 

what can you say? what can you do? you don’t want to leave him hanging but you don’t know if you can form a proper sentence but it seems your mouth has a mind of its own; speaking before your thoughts can catch up with it.

“yn? baby?”

“keigo takami, i think i have feelings for you.”

you smack a hand over your mouth, just hard enough to send you flying back into your bed sheets and pillows. you had a whole speech prepared, a confession that could win oscars if you really wanted it to but of course, you’d gone and messed that up too. 

the silence that crackles in the air causes your mind to race with anxiety, how much of a fool you’d look if keigo didn’t feel the same. after all, he was the hawks, a pro hero who was just as good as anyone out there. number two on the ranks and at the top of the game, he could have any girl, any guy, any person he desired. so why on earth would he choose you?

“you think, or you know?” the pro whispers into his device and you could almost hear the smirk entangled with his very tone. he’s teasing you. hawks was always one for jokes and humour; one thing you loved about him was his ability to keep any situation light hearted— but for a second you wished that he took the situation seriously.  fumbling with your fingers, you debate on whether or not you should ask keigo to forget you ever said anything, you could deal with the repercussions after drowning yourself in mina’s ice cream later, but keigo seems to have other plans. “i like you too baby bird, i know i do.” he mumbles as if he’s gone shy, now he’s the one waiting anxiously for your response.

you release a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, clutching at your chest as fresh air fills your lungs. “that makes two of us then,” you hum warmly, feeling your body warm up at the idea of your favourite pro liking you back.

but keigo doesn’t stop there, it’s almost as if he’s gripping the phone tighter— desperate to convince you that you’re everything that he needs. “i have for some time now yn, i don’t know when or how it happened, but i’m glad it was you. your heart and your soul are kind, half of me doesn’t want to taint it but the other half of me is a selfish bastard,” the hero you’ve come to care for pauses, mulling over his next words in a way that has you sitting up to prepare yourself. “that selfish side of me, that half of me needs you, wants to make you happy. that’s if you’ll let me, songbird...”

you find yourself nodding over the phone and it takes a second for you to realise that keigo can’t see you. desperately you wipe at your eyes, cheeks stained with tears you hadn’t noticed were falling and heart feeling more full than it’s ever been. 

you feel set free, cut from the restraints of your past love for bakugou— ready to make new ties with keigo.

“i want you too kei, more than anything.”

hawks lets out a contented sigh from his end, mumbling sweet words to you not long after. “then you can bet your ass i’m taking you on a date as soon as we’re both free, i’m gonna show you how much i care about you. how much i desire you, baby bird.”

the rest of the night is spent full of giggles and blushes and teases, keigo’s words burning a smile into your cheeks. eventually, he sends you to bed with the promise of a kiss as soon as he sees you next, hanging up the phone shortly after. 

plugging in your phone, you situate yourself amongst your pillows, ready to sleep with a smile on your face— when your phone lights up with a tweet notification from none other than the bird man himself.

‘sleep well, my baby bird, dream of me.’

it reads and despite the likes and retweet that flood the poor tweet, you know keigo wrote it especially for you. adding it to your bookmarks, before sending one of your own and drifting off to sleep.

‘goodnight bird boy, see you in my dreams.’

⤷ TAGLIST: ✈️ CLOSED

@underratedmage @darlingstudies @iambashfulperson @jqnposts @ih8beefnoodles @miniatureland @ozzy-bozzy @someweirdshitman @bro-vocaine @air-wreckaaa @xxangelofpunkrockxx @hyperkaiperrose @sailor-moons-butt @montechristos  @semiathleticnerdykid @headfirst-halo @sasukelore @patricia-ceballos @jadenyukis-bodypillow​ @leel-lol @bokutosuwus @moonlightaangel @atsumumu @cathy8taffy @sya-arts-blog @rosa-gamer @yuesphere @ela-ena @d3ad-b3at-b1tch @starry-yui @cowward @actuallyazriel @bunny-on-crack @yourlocalbabybird @moon-spirit-yue @chaichai-the-weeb @tuddles-on-ice @tamaki-amajiki-anon @loser-keiji @witcherydotcom @s4kurajima @nishinoya-is-baby @astroninaaa @witches-brewe @skyrina @underoosjae @darlingely @mirukosyn​ @peachpetalhoney @kayisweird

[orangefoxes]

Hey, so I've been trying to submit a prompt but it won't work so here it goes I know this will be sad but what if Neil gets really sad and depressed (the reason is up for interpretation ex: bullied by jack or is haunted by PTSD) and so he becomes full of self hate and becomes anorexic and cuts himself #andreil (this would mean so much since I've been through similar circumstances and was strong enough to pull through and keep living, this book and your Tumblr have helped me so much)

Hi @soph-ie21 I am so sorry this took a whopping 4 years for me to post. I’m terrible for not checking my inbox as my notifications have been turned off for tumblr since I was like 13. I’m so glad to hear that you recovered from your ED, you must be so strong and I’m so proud of you as I know how difficult that is to do. I’m hoping this is the sort of prompt you were looking for, if you’re even looking after this long, as it’s not very dialogue heavy, but here you go.

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER, SELF LOATHING, ANOREXIA.

When in high stress situations, to cope, the brain releases a hormone called cortisol. It’s alright in small doses, helpful even. It triggers your fight or flight response and readies the body to do something, fast. Constant exposure to the hormone however, has some not so good long term effects. Effects that include, but are not limited to: high blood pressure, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and, arguably the mildest, weight gain.

Cortisol results in weight gain for two reasons. The first is because it slows your metabolism, and the second is because the drop in blood sugar from constant high blood pressure means that you start craving fatty, sugary foods, which leads to overeating. Neil’s memory is not nearly good enough for him to recall what foods he had craved over the years, but he and his mother shied away from sweets and chocolate for dental reasons, it probably would have been a hardship for many kids growing up but Neil had never much cared for sugar anyway. However, what he and his mother did indulge in is a lot of fatty, fast food. Partly because it was cheap, partly because it was something they could eat while on the move, and partly because no one would look twice at two sketchy people in a Burger King or remember a beaten up old car briefly pausing in a drive thru.

While never giving much thought to how he looked (short of checking for ginger roots and the bruise on his cheek from where his mother had slapped that smile from his face), Neil does remember his weight fluctuating a lot when he was younger. The more stressful the months, the chubbier he got. It was in the quiet periods as he and his mother settled down and didn’t dare to venture into the supermarket too often that he began to lose it again. It was a cycle.

In Millport, Neil was at his lowest weight yet. There was only a solitary McDonald’s in town and Neil wasn’t about to become a regular. He stocked up on tinned food from the supermarket in his first week in town instead and meticulously made his way through them, heating the can up on the hot plate he had bought for four dollars from the thrift store in the high street.

He gained weight again once he started at Palmetto, he gained muscle mass too. This, of course, was thanks to three free meals a day and a new training regime with daily exercise. It was to be expected, but if, perhaps, he gained weight quicker than his teammates and muscle slower, well, he had bigger things to worry about.

Then he knew he was going to live.

Then everything with the Moriyamas was…well, not gone, but resolved.

That’s not to say there was nothing to stress about. There was the influx of reporters wanting to catch the Foxes’ attention to ask about Nathaniel Wesninski. There was Kevin’s impending break down as Riko’s funeral came and went. There was Aaron’s trial. Honestly it probably would have gone as stressful situations for Neil always go - here and gone just as quickly - except it turns out that Nicky cooks when he’s stressed, and Neil, well, he’s a stress eater.

After Aaron is declared innocent, Nicky resumes as normal. Neil…not quite. He’s constantly opening the cupboards to look for something to eat only to close them again when he finds nothing of interest. Without Nicky cooking, there’s nothing he can easily dig into and Neil, while accumulating many skills over the years, had never been a hand in the kitchen. The only things ready-eat that were consistently in the dorm were ramen and ice-cream. Even the thought of ramen makes Neil want to vomit and Neil wasn’t so desperate that he would resort to eating something as sweet as ice cream. Not that Andrew would let him if he did. (Andrew wasn’t a sharer).

He started to feel hungry.

He was always hungry.

The first few days he started to skip meals, he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Surely he didn’t notice he was doing it.

It’s just -

Here’s the thing.

Maybe he stress eats. Maybe his mother did too. They spent long car journeys with a family sized bag of potato chips resting by the gear stick and they spent half the time stuffing handfuls into their mouths and the other half checking the mirrors for cars that stayed behind them a touch to long. So maybe he stress ate, but it was never because of hunger: it was because of craving. It was because it gave him something to do with his hands. It was only when things quietened down, when the weeks turned long with the monotonous almost-existence that took up the majority of Neil’s life growing up (here’s something no one tells you about life on the run, in between the moments of sheer terror, it’s very very very boring), it was only then, that Neil actually began to feel things like hunger.

So when the hunger pangs began to curdle in his stomach, well, he didn’t mind. It meant he was safe enough to feel the hunger.

Maybe for the first couple of days he didn’t notice it. But then he noticed it.

He noticed enough to avoid things like rice and bread. Danger foods that packed on the calories and that made him bite the inside of his cheek until it bled at the mere thought. He noticed enough that he began to watch the others train and saw their muscles flex and couldn’t help but track their muscle growth and measure it up against his own. He always found himself lacking.

That’s when it started to get worse. If Allison spent 20 minutes on the treadmill. Then Neil would do 30. If Kevin did 40 push ups. Then Neil would do 50. If Renee had a salad for lunch, then Neil would just have a fruit pot.

The first time Andrew noticed that he skipped a meal, Neil just blinked. Being who he was, Neil didn’t do stupid things like stumble for lies and this time was no different. When Andrew asked about him not eating Neil just blinked like he hadn’t even noticed until Andrew brought it up.

He blinked and said “oh, you’re right. I got so caught up in watching exy reruns i didn’t even notice”

He said, “thanks, I’ll grab something in a sec”

Andrew breathed a scoffing breath down his nose, rolled his eyes and called him a junkie. He didn’t look at all surprised, as though Neil was only confirming what he had already guessed. Which of course is the trick all good liars employ.

Neil wondered if he would be surprised if he were to find out how impossible it would be for Neil to forget a meal time. He could never forget. All he thought about was food. It was all he thought about.

Food began to feel like it was all he cared about. Cared about more than school. Cared about more than exy. Is it terrible of him that that more than anything else feels like the worst thing?

And then, as things do, it got worse.

It turned into Neil stood in front of the mirror (looking at his body but not his eyes, never his eyes) and pinching the flesh between his fingers. Noticing every part of him that didn’t harden into muscle like the others. Noticing all the scars that had stretched strangely over a waist and thighs that are no longer as small.

He begins to peck at his food. Rip it into tiny pieces. Andrew looks down at his plate and glowers at him. Neil gives him a cheeky grin. He knows what he’s thinking. That this is just another one of those Andrew-mannerisms that Neil is taking on for himself. Like the sarcastic salutes and the blank, waiting stares. It’s so much easier to hide how little you’ve eaten when it’s all in pieces.

He didn’t know how to explain it. He just knows he needs to be thinner. He needs to weigh less. It’s not about looks. It’s never been about looks. He just needs to do this. He needs to be smaller. It will be alright then. Because then…then…

Well it will be alright then.

So here’s the thing about guilt and self loathing: they’re useless emotions. Andrew would be quick to agree. (Though Andrew is a hypocrite and is chock full of the both of them). His mother would agree too. How many times had Neil slipped poison into someone’s drink, stole from someone just as desperate, shot someone who maybe or maybe-not deserved it? And how many times after that did his mother pinch and prod at him and repeat the same mantra of “don’t you dare let guilt slow you down, you slow down and you’re dead”

Well, Mum, he’s slowed down. He slowed down so much that he’s stopped altogether and guess what? He fucking hates himself.

He replays it all in his head like a terrible loop. The boy in Switzerland that he tricked into taking his jacket so His fathers men would go after him instead. The old women he and his mother tricked into housing them and then slipped something in her tea until she slept and never woke up again. The homeless man who had broken into the house they were squatting in that Neil had shot on instinct. Seth.

Seth. Seth. Seth.

He fucking hates himself. Honestly the hunger pains kind of feel like the best thing he’s ever felt after that. The pain, the ache, he deserves it.

Then it gets worse. Then comes the worst part.

Andrew’s meds change again. The others had begun to make him irritable and he always had an energy crash by about 5pm and a terrible headache. The new ones wouldn’t be of much note as they did nothing groundbreakingly different, short of getting rid of the headaches and not sapping so much of his energy.

Except for one key side effect of the meds.

They suppressed Andrew’s appetite.

More and more Andrew is missing meals. He won’t even eat more than a tablespoon of ice cream. Neil watches him and adjusts himself to suit. He doesn’t know why, but he just can’t be eating more than him, he can’t.

The frustration he feels about Andrew’s meds soon turn to resentment. He hates that he has to watch Andrew not eat and not seem affected by it at all. Andrew lessens his exercise under Betsy’s advice and yet nothing changes. His weight stays the same. He probably even loses some thanks to the loss of muscle. Neil watches and Neil hates. He hates that if he skipped out on training he would pack on the pounds, he hates that his stomach hurt and hurts and Andrew doesn’t spare a thought on food at all.

He starts to avoid the roof. He starts to dodge Andrew’s gaze the same way he does his own in the mirror.

The next time they’re alone and Andrew leans in, more hesitant than he’s been in months, Neil jerks back and snaps “No.”

It isn’t even completely because of the resentment. The majority of it is because he feels disgusting and fat and he can’t bare Andrew touching him right now. Can’t bare him looking at him.

Andrew’s face closes off and he slides back to the other side of the couch. He’s searching Neil’s face, trying to find the misstep, trying to find what he did wrong.

Good, let him think he did something wrong.

Now that’s the resentment.

It’s immediately one of the worst things Neil has ever thought. He remembers sitting, trembling, on the roof, Andrew refusing to touch him saying “I wont be like them, I wont let you let me be”

And Neil’s trying to make him think, wants to make him feel -

Jesus Christ. He’s a piece of fucking shit.

He slams his way out of the dorm and runs and runs and runs.

He sleeps in the locker room and slumps out in the morning so he’s first in the main room for the meeting with Wymack. He sits on a chair that’s as far away from every other seat as it can get while still completing the make do semi-circle around where Wymack usually stands. When the others begin to filter in they take in his new seat, but don’t comment when they see his storming expression.

When Andrew sees him he pauses for a beat in the doorway before continuing to his usual seat on the couch. He stares at Neil blankly, but his hands are clenching and unclenching in his lap. Wymack hesitates but doesn’t say anything. The others play at being uninterested and only Aaron openly looks between Neil and Andrew with a steadyingly darkening expression.

Neil slams his locker and gets changed in the cubicles for the first time in months. He’s vicious in practice. Throwing in as many dirty moves as he can. Andrew stands in the goal and does nothing. When it’s only Wymack’s sharp whistle that stops Neil bringing his racket down on Matt’s arm when he attempts to steal the ball, Neil is benched.

He yanks off his helmet and slumps down on the bench and tries to remember how to breathe through rage.

He’s sat, pinching at the skin on his thigh, for ten minutes before Allison joins him. She holds out a breakfast bar and Neil stiffens.

“Eat, it might help you stop being such a raging asshole,” she says.

Neil takes the breakfast bar and when she doesn’t immediately leave he opens it and snaps a bit off with his fingers.

He stares down the rolled oats and nuts and grimaces at the sticky feeling of the syrup that holds them together. He feels sick.

“Are you going to eat?” Allison says.

Neil looks at her and huffs a bitter breath through his nose. A wry smile pulls at the corner of his lips.

He remembers that Allison battled bulimia for years.

You can’t lie to a liar.

She looks at his face. Concern trying to become anger that she’s trying to force to stay concern. She looks at his face and then over at Andrew, who is stood in his goal watching them as Kevin shouts at him to fucking do something already. She looks back at Neil.

“You know, relationships are hard enough without mental health problems in the mix. Seth and I were a terrible combination for many reasons and that was one them. I’m not saying it can’t be done or that it shouldn’t be done, I’m just saying it makes it so much harder. He used to try to make me eat. I hated him for that. Hated that I had to hide my own habits in my own room. One day, after he stopped me from going to purge one too many times we got into an argument. I said some disgusting things to him. The next day he was in the hospital because of an overdose. He had to get his stomach pumped. You know what the worst thing is? I don’t even remember what it is I said. I don’t know if what I did triggered him or if it would have happened anyway, but it couldn’t have helped. You’re always going to trigger each other at one point or another, it’s unavoidable. But if you know that and you don’t do anything to help yourself…well that’s when every shit thing you think about yourself starts to become true. So tell me, are you a piece of shit that’s going to drag everyone down with you, or are you better than that?”

Neil looks down at the breakfast bar. He still can’t make himself eat it.

He swallows harshly against the lump in his throat. He has to swallow two more times until he’s sure he can talk without crying.

“What’s betsy’s number?” He asks.

Allison doesn’t smile, but she nods like he’s done the right thing and pulls out her phone.

SIDE NOTE: I’d like to point out that Neil is very flawed and toxic in his thinking and Allison is harsh in what she says to him just because she’s a harsh person. If you have an eating disorder I know sometimes help and recovery seems like the worst thing in world and something you really don’t want, but please, please seek help. You can do it.

[sestra-inestro]

Part of the Team (1/?)

Miniseries for @mushyjellybeans writing challenge. Hope you enjoy it!

Prompt: “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had just listened to me!”

Pairings: fem!reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Reader is part of a private investigation that is kept secret from the Avengers. Instead, they believe she took a bribe. Isolated for two years as the investigation comes to an end, reader is awarded a Medal of Honor and the team realises their mistake, but it might just be too late.

Warnings: Angst, violence, isolation and harsh treatment. Re-uploading because I don’t know what tumblr did to the original one.

Series Masterlist

You stood in the small room you had been moved to in your moment of exile. The team hadn’t shown up to the award ceremony, much expected. They had been bitter towards you for a whole two years now, you didn’t expect them to suddenly change their minds.

The empty shelves and the and the stripped bare bed showed no signs of you living inside anymore.

You clutched the medal you had been granted in your hand, the cold of the metal screaming at you that you had done the right thing and that they were wrong, but now you felt lonely as ever.

What had turned into you witnessing an event with an undercover agent, had looked to the team like you were accepting a bribe and turning a blind eye. Since then you were stuck in an investigation that had to stay secret from the team, so you had to take their nastiness in the chin. The worst was when Nat broke up with you. The disgust on her face when she saw you turn away from that agent in the middle of a fight had stained your memory.

Now that was the only look she gave you when she acknowledged you.

But your secrecy was to keep the team safe. It was for the best.

~

Fury had forced you to keep your mouth shut. Reading the file on the agent had given you some insight into what exactly was being investigated and now you were hyper-aware.

Walking into the common kitchen, eyes followed you.

“He didn’t kick you off?” Tony asked incredulously.

You looked to him and took in the looks you were being given.

“No, only a warning.” You said lowly as you opened the fridge.

Clint scoffed at your answer. “If I had my way, you’d be off and shipped right now.”

“But you don’t.” Steve butted in. He disapproved and was cold, but he didn’t act out like the rest. “So we just had to soldier on and make the best of the situation.”

You looked down at his words. Great, now you were a situation.

You snatched water from the fridge and quickly made your way out of the room, they watched you exit with shame.

You wanted to tell Natasha. You had to.

Making your way up to her room, you racked your brain of ways to deal with this whole situation. As soon as you got to her door, it swung open.

Her eyes looked at you with disgust and disbelief.

“What do you want?” Venom laced her voice.

“I need to talk to you.” You tried to sound like you weren’t begging.

“There’s nothing for us to talk about.”

“Yes, there is Natasha. Please just listen to me-“ You begged but she cut you off.

“No! I don’t want to listen to you.” She raised her voice to yell at you. “I can’t believe you would do something like that.”

“It’s not what you think Nat!”

“I watched you shake his hand and let him go, June! You can’t tell me that you didn’t let the enemy go and screwed up our whole mission.” You could, in fact, tell her that. But it was going to be hard.

“You disgust me.” Her words cut you deeply. The look in her eyes salted your wounds.

“Nat...” You tried.

“No. This,” She gestured between you and herself. “Whatever we had is over.”

~

Their resentment wasn’t the worst of it. They destroyed you in training, and eventually, you stopped training with them together. They had turned into a team of bullies, you thought it was childish, but you couldn’t blame them because of the unknown.

~

You had been trying to be nice to every member in the building. Going out of your way to getting stuff, smiling if they looked in your direction, helping them if they struggled or just trying to start a conversation. But nothing was working.

Walking down the corridor of the tower you had your nose buried into the StarkPad in your hands. Hearing another set of footsteps, you looked up to see a sweaty Bucky coming but from the gym. Making eye contact you pulled your lips into the sweetest smile you could muster, he was never one to be bluntly rude to someone since joining the team. But as you kept your smile and got closer to him, he passed you with a glare and a hard thump of the shoulder, causing you to grunt, stagger and drop the StarkPad. Steadying yourself, you looked down at the broken device. Great, another reason for Stark to hate you. You looked back at Bucky as he walked away from you, not a second glance in your direction. That was when you really started to feel unwanted and disconnected.

-

The training was the worst. They either excluded you altogether or targeted you. Each blow they gave, you took with pride. One day they would know the truth and everything would be okay.

“June, you’re up.” Steve’s voice picked your attention away from the exercise you were doing. Seeing Natasha on the sparring mat, sweaty and flustered gave you a wave of anxiety.

“June, let’s go!” Steve hurried you.

You left your stuff at that end of the room and you slowly made your way to where Nat was standing and waiting.

You were good at hand-to-hand combat, but you definitely weren’t the best. You did better with weapons and guns. There was no way you could beat anyone on the hand during a sparring session. Especially Nat.

You eyed her carefully as she watched your approach.

“What? Think you’re too good to train with the rest of us now?”

You didn’t answer her back. You stepped onto the mat and got into position. Hopefully, this would be quick.

“Go easy and be fair,” Steve warned both of you before stepping off the mat.

Nat gave no time for Steve to say go before she lunged at you. She was a blur before your eyes but you managed to dodge her. Stumbling back a bit, she took that chance to swipe your legs out from under you. You hit the mat with a grunt and a clap sounded through the gym.

Nat stepped back to her place at the mat and you groaned as you lifted yourself up. Steve watched you as you repositioned yourself.

You were starting to regret training with them, but you had to show them that you weren’t going to let them down anymore.

Nat huffed as she watched you get into a defensive stance and rolled her eyes. You had gotten used to that reaction from her, but it still hurt.

“Alright, go again.” Steve said.

He clapped again and this time, she didn’t lunge. She kept her glare trained on you as she shuffled towards you on her toes.

She took a jab at your face and you deflected but as you did, she went for your ribs, which you weren’t fast enough to dodge. While it caused you to struggle as you crunched forward and groaned, Nat kicked back one of your legs and wrapped her arm around yours. She pushed you to the mat face down her arm pulling yours back between your shoulder blades, you straining against her grip.

“Nat,” You struggled in the position she had you in. One sudden movement and your elbow was done for.

“Tap out.” She spat.

Fuck this, this was not worth it. You twisted your arm and flipped yourself up, causing her to roll backward. You felt a burn run up your arm as your muscles strained at the odd movement but you fought against it.

Expecting her to lunge at you, you lifted your arms in defense to suddenly feel a sharp piercing pain in your upper arm. Yelping out, you jumped back and away from her. Your yelp was followed by a silence throughout the gym as you looked down at your arm to see a tiny knife had been lodged into you.

Blood slowly started to seep through the wound and a tiny drop of blood trailed down your arm.

Shakily, your hand grasped the handle of the knife and you gently pull it out of your arm. You look back in at Nat with shaky breaths. She looked uncertain like she was deciding if she regretted throwing her knife at you, or if you were going to throw it back at her.

You understood now. They hated you. The hint was finally taken. She actually threw her knife at you, made you bleed.

You looked around the gym to see the same look on the rest of the teams’ faces.

“That’s enough.” Fury’s voice came from the entrance of the gym. “June.” He called to you.

Staring into Nat’s eyes, you dropped the knife to the floor where you stood. You turned, walking to where you had left your stuff, gathered it in your arms and headed out of the gym, Fury stepping aside to let you out before following you.

That was the last time you trained with them or spoke to them.

-

“You’re leaving?” Nat’s voice pulled you from your memories. You turned to the door, seeing her standing just inside the doorway.

“Yes.” Your reply was short.

Nat took a deep breath. She had only just received a notification of the award ceremony and missed it by an hour.

“You don’t have to go.” Her voice was small like she didn’t want to crack the calm exterior you were putting on.

“I handed in my resignation letter two weeks ago.” You say to her, turning back to the medal that sat in your hand. “I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”

Nat sighed. “June, please.” She stepped forward to you. A couple of years ago, the roles were reversed. “We didn’t know.”

“But you would have.” You turned to completely face her. “I tried to tell you the minute Fury finished telling me. But you wouldn’t listen, you just slammed the door in my face.”

Nat looked at you with sad eyes. Her chest caved in with the heavy guilt as she watched you. “For years the whole team has treated me like shit. You had no lesser part in that. I tried my hardest. In fact, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had just listened.”

“I’m sorry.” Nat’s voice was almost a whisper.

“Yeah,” You tossed the metal onto the bed. “I’m sorry too.”

You reached for your bag and pushed passed her. She watched as you walked away from her, all the harsh memories of the past two years flooding her brain and the pain in her chest expanded with every step you took.

~

You packed up your stuff into your car and made a rest stop at the bar. Sitting solemnly at the bar all by yourself with a bourbon in your hand.

This is where you were meant to celebrate with people after the ceremony. But you chose to come later when you expected no one to be there and you were right. No one you knew had shown their face and you were glad in a way. Though, you had never felt more lonely.

“Congratulations.” Fury’s voice came from beside you as he took a seat.

Without looking at him, you have a quick upturn of your lips before it was gone again. “Thanks.” You said, looking down at your drink.

“I know that this doesn’t feel like a whole lot, but you save a lot of people and helped in a major investigation that you weren’t even meant to be a part of.” He nudged your shoulder with his. “You did good. You deserve that medal.”

You didn’t know how to respond to him. You knew that this how the situation would turn the team against you. You just didn’t count on them being as mean as they were. You couldn’t blame them, but you would never feel truly a part of the team again. And the medal didn’t make it feel worth it.

“I’m not forcing you to stay, I could never. All I am saying is that they will understand now, and you will always be welcome back.” He finished his talk and got up from his seat, fishing through his pocket for some cash and placing it in front of you. “Free drinks for the hero.” Fury patter your shoulder before leaving you to your thoughts.

Tears sprang to your eyes as the emotions swirled in your chest. Hero. If you were a hero now, then why didn’t you feel like one? After two whole years, you now felt the bitterness. Bitterness towards the team, towards the investigation, towards that stupid undercover agent who was dumb enough to get himself caught and forced to reveal himself, and towards the medal that burned in your hand the first time you touched it and you were glad you’d left it behind.

“Fuck this.” You mumbled. You downed the rest of your drink and set the glass down. Getting up from your seat at the bar you made your way and fished in your pocket for your keys. You were done with this place and wanted to move on.

As if more things could hold you back, when you pushed open the bar door, you came face-to-face with the rest of the team. They were making their way into the bar to congratulate you. Steve and Bucky held bouquets of flowers and Tony and Wanda held what seemed to be gift bags.

You took their image in, a lump in your throat forming again and tears made their way to your eyes.

“We heard that you were leaving?” Tony asked you.

“You heard right.” You cleared your throat. “Please don’t try to convince me otherwise, this is already hard enough.”

“We’re sorry.” Steve said, his eyes sad.

“I know.” You looked down to the ground. “But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it matters, June.” Clint said sternly. “We didn’t know anything but-“

“So let it be then! It’s not your guys’ fault that you didn’t know.” You cut him off and raised your voice. “This was all just a big misunderstanding and nothing can change that.”

The team fell silent. You didn’t want their apologies, you hated the fact that they had to give them to you. You knew it was cowardly but you just wanted to run away.

A crack of thunder rose in the sky and lightning beamed down, signally Thor’s arrival.

Great, you inwardly rolled your eyes.

“June!” The God bellowed cheerfully. “I’ve heard of your success and have come to celebrate in a feast and drinks!” He patted you on the back.

He had been gone for the last two years, of course he wouldn’t know anything about what went down.

Thor’s words were met with silence and tension, which confused him. “I’ve missed something...” He said in a soft voice.

You finally turned to face him and sighed. “Yeah, a bit.”

You glanced back at the team and then back to Thor and gave him the best smile you could. “Thank you, so much. But I’m leaving, I’m being transferred to another agency.”

Thor’s frown deepened as you patted his shoulder and pushed passed him.

You looked over your shoulder to them. “See you around.”

They watched as you climbed into your car and drove out of the bar parking lot. Thor turned to the team and saw the stuff they were holding.

“What has happened?”

[threekinsinatrenchcoat-writes]

"Wrong Number, Right Decision" - Twice x reader

A/N: it's a couple days late, and for that, I apologize, but here's my part for the bnharem "pen pals" collab. I also apologize for not putting a read more, but that doesn't really work on mobile, which I'm currently stuck with. it's my first collab piece as well as my first Tumblr fic, so I'm a bit nervous, but I hope you like it! ^_^

Word Count: 1,436

Warnings: 18+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twice woke up to the sound of his phone going off. He sat up, rubbed his eyes a bit, stretched, and blinked a few times before checking what he missed. A call from Dabi (no message. seems like him), a couple texts from Toga (I'll check those in a bit), seven texts from Spinner (a few of those are probably memes), a text from Magne (she's probably saying "good morning"), and a couple texts from a number he didn't recognize (wait… what's this? openitopenitopenit). Deciding to check on the other notifications later, he opened the texts from the unknown number.

text -> Jin [received from ??? @9:57AM]: hey, (friend), guess what?

text -> Jin [received from ??? @9:58AM]: I got a new pet! aren't they adorable? :3c [attached image: your pet laying down in your lap with their eyes closed and your hand on their back. they seem relaxed and content]

He smiled at the picture, then checked the time. 10:01, so your messages seemed to be the most recent ones he received.

text -> Y/N [received from ??? @10:02AM]: cute pet, but I'm not (friend). we can keep talking, though, if you want.

You felt a brief twinge of panic and embarrassment upon reading that this wasn't (friend), but whoever this was didn't seem to mind. You decided to text back.

text -> Jin [received from ??? @10:05AM]: whoops, guess I typed the number wrong. my bad! >_<

text -> Jin [received from ??? @10:06AM]: you seem alright to talk to, though. my name's (Y/N), what's yours? maybe we could be friends?

text -> Y/N [received from ??? @10:08AM]: not really sure you'd wanna be friends with me

text -> Y/N [received from ??? @10:08AM]: sure, let's be friends! my name's Jin, btw

~

Through the next week, you've exchanged contact photos, learned more about each other, and may have started falling for each other a little bit, all through the words you sent on the screen. Eventually, you decided you kinda wanted to meet him, curious to see if he was for real and not just pretending.

text -> Jin [received from Y/N @ 11:03PM]: hey Jin, is it okay if I ask you a question?

text -> Y/N [received from Jin @11:04PM]: sure, go ahead! what kinda question?

You set your phone down and paced for a couple minutes, lightly chewing your lip and trying to calm yourself down enough to ask. With a sigh, you sat back down, hesitating for a half second before picking up your phone again.

text -> Jin [received from Y/N @11:07PM]: ...I'm a bit nervous about it, actually. 

Twice read and reread your last message and tried to think. 

(Y/N)'s nervous, how can I help? Wait, what is it that Mag usually tells us to do to calm down? 

He lowered his phone to think for a while longer, trying to remember.

...That's right, she usually tells us to breathe.

The screen shut off while he was thinking, so he unlocked his phone to type again.

text -> Y/N [received from Jin @11:11PM]: that's fine, just breathe. send it when you're ready.

You chuckled, feeling a wave of calm wash over you upon reading his words. It was short-lived, however, as your nerves came back the second you started typing again, so you set your phone down and took a few slow breaths, getting up for a glass of water a few minutes later. When that was finished, you took a few more slow breaths before deciding to just send it as quickly as possible, shutting the screen off soon after.

text -> Jin [received from Y/N @11:32PM]: do you think maybe you'd like to meet up sometime? 

He blinked. You wanted to meet up? With him? ...Was that a good idea?

You peeked at your phone, a bit concerned when you saw no new messages, so you sent another one in an attempt to take some pressure off.

text -> Jin [received from Y/N @11:41PM]: ...up to you. if it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to meet. 's okay ^_^

Twice could only stare at the messages as he thought it over. On the one hand, you had been texting each other for a while now and meeting face to face seemed like a reasonable next step, but on the other hand, he grew to like you quite a bit with everything you shared with each other and didn't like the idea of you getting in trouble because of him. It would also be an opportunity to get to know you a bit better than what texting would allow. He thought about it for a little while longer before giving his decision.

text -> Y/N [received from Jin @12:07AM]: ...how about tomorrow around 7 pm? we could meet in Hosu and go from there 

You were starting to fall asleep when your phone went off again. When your eyes focused enough to read his message, you smiled and sent a quick reply before shutting your eyes again.

text -> Jin [received from Y/N @12:09AM]: sounds good, can't wait ^_^

~

The next evening, after you got dinner together and wandered around the city, chatting and enjoying each other's company, you decided to head back to your place and settle in to watch a movie together. Or that was the initial plan, anyway, one quickly derailed roughly twenty minutes into the movie by a kiss on your lips that Jin had meant for your cheek, after which he pulled away in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that..! I totally meant for that to happen. I meant to get your cheek, but then you turned your head and I--"

You cut him off with another kiss, one he relaxed into and returned after a couple seconds. One kiss turned into two, then three, then you started making out with him, the forgotten movie still playing in the background as he slowly slid a hand up your shirt and rested it on your shoulder blade while you unbuttoned his shirt. Once unbuttoned, he took it off and you started to cover every inch of his exposed skin with breathless kisses: his jawline, his arms, his throat… everywhere, all the way down to where his pants still sat on his hips with a large tent forming in the middle of them. Rather than make any attempt to take them off him, you decided to leave some open-mouthed kisses along his still-covered length. 

The way you looked up at him with half-lidded eyes while mouthing along his cock, panting and grinding against nothing, had him straining against his pants, twitching every so often. He slowly ran his fingers through your hair a few times as wordless praise and encouragement while he occupied his other hand with the button to his pants. 

As soon as that was taken care of, however, you pushed his hand away and took over, eyes widening slightly when you freed his cock the rest of the way. You wrapped your hand around his length and gave it a few slow pumps, looking up at him and giving it a slow lick before taking half of it in your mouth with a quiet, pleased hum, causing his breath to hitch and be let out in a low groan at the sight.

"No fair! You still have all your clothes on! You look sooo hot right now~" he panted out, tangling a hand in your hair as you bobbed your head along his length. You pulled off of him with a faint pop so you could speak.

"I could take my clothes off," you started, pausing to give a teasing lick to the head of his cock, "but that would mean I'd have to stop touching you for a bit." You briefly took your hands off of him to demonstrate, him whining slightly at the loss of contact. 

"Please, don't stop," he begged as he gently pushed your head down, moaning as he watched you take as much of his length as you could manage into your mouth. He started panting as you hummed around him, pulling back and swirling your tongue around the tip of his throbbing cock as he grew closer to his release. "(Y/N), I'm so close~" he panted, tightening his grip on your hair slightly. You hummed in response and hollowed your cheeks before taking more of him in your mouth, this time trying to fit his whole length as he tipped over the edge, spilling thick ropes of cum down your throat as you swallowed around him.

[karajaynetoday]

for the prompts, can I get “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do.” with luke, pretty please?? tomorrow or next week is fine

Hi Shelbi! Thanks so much for this request, hope you enjoy this lil blurb xo

(and by lil I mean 1.6k words but I got carried away as per usual. anyway, enjoy some soft Luke weekend away in a cabin-based friends to lovers!)

(This is a fem reader insert blurb)

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

--

This weekend trip away to the lake with your close friend group had been in the works for months. The date had finally arrived, and all week your group chat had been buzzing with notifications from people  talking about the fun supplies they’d bought, or screenshots of the excellent weather forecast, or memes about bears (that, to be honest, made you a little nervous).

Luke had offered you a carpool spot in his car, along with Michael and Crystal, which you gladly accepted. Originally the idea of camping in tents had been floated, but you were definitely thankful when instead Crystal found an incredible cabin on Air BnB that had more than enough room for all of you, plus private lake access and heaps of nature trails and other activities nearby.

When you showed up at Luke’s, overnight bag in tow, you suddenly felt super nervous. These were all your best friends that you’d known for years, and it definitely wasn’t your first trip away together as a group, but lately things between you and Luke had been… different, somehow.

He’d always been a great friend to you, making sure you had a ride home after a night out, or buying your favourite snacks whenever he hosted an event at his house, or inviting you on walks with Petunia because he remembered you had a dog similar to her growing up and it helped with your homesickness. But lately, you found yourself thinking of him more often than not. In those moments where you’d slip into a daydream about your future, and envisaged travelling the world, or walking down the aisle, or settling down into a house with little ones of your own one day, the only person you could see by your side in those daydreams was Luke. But then reality would set in, and you’d have to remind yourself that he’d never really shown any interest in you beyond friendship, so you couldn’t get your hopes up too high.

Michael and Crystal were already there when you arrived, so you helped pack the remaining supplies into Luke’s car and got on the road as soon as you could. The lake was about a four hour drive away and you’d agreed to share the driving, so you all rotated through various seats in the car. For the final hour of the journey, sunset had passed and you were driving through darkness as you made your way through the wooded area leading towards the lake. Michael had offered to drive the final shift, and Luke sat next to him in the front passenger seat, leaving you and Crystal in the back. You’d both assured the boys that you’d keep them company, and you wouldn’t dare fall asleep, but the steady rhythm of the car quickly lulled you into sleep.

You couldn’t have been out for more than 20 minutes or so when you silently stirred and blinked furiously to try and wake yourself up more quickly. You were about to make a joke to Luke and Michael about definitely not falling asleep, when your ears picked up on them having a murmured conversation amongst themselves up the front.

“I’m so in love with her, Mike. I don’t know what to do.” Luke sounded exasperated, and you saw him run a hand through his mop of curls – a clear sign he was feeling anxious.

“Mate, I’m telling you, there is a solid 95% chance that the feeling is mutual. I see the way her face lit up when you offered her a lift to the cabin, or when you invite her on walks with Petunia, or when you have her favourite snacks at your house parties. I would bet a solid amount that she’s in the exact same boat as you.” Michael was trying to be patient and kind, but you could tell from his tone that he was a little amused by Luke’s predicament.

You froze when you realised they were talking about you. No. Surely not? Luke… Luke didn’t have feelings for you, did he? He couldn’t be IN LOVE with you? Plain, boring old you? Was this a dream? It has to be a dream. You pinched yourself, hard, and let out a small gasp at the pain before you could realise what you’d done. Luke’s head whipped around to the back seat, and you made eye contact.

“H-hey, sweetheart. How long have you been awake?” He asked, his tone wobbly and unsure.

“Oh, literally just woke up a second ago. Must’ve moved around in my sleep and bumped my elbow too hard, that’s why I gasped. Sorry if I gave you a fright!” You were desperately trying to sound as normal as possible.

Luke’s face visibly relaxed, and you knew you’d sold the lie well enough. Your heart was still pounding over what he said, but in this car right now was not the time to address it. You could see Michael eyeing you curiously in the rear-view mirror, almost like he didn’t believe a word of your elbow bump story, but you just flashed him a smile and focused your gaze out the window, even though you could barely see a thing in the darkness of night.

When you arrived at the cabin, the others in the group had beaten you there, and already started claiming bedrooms and stocking the kitchen, and they’d even used the outdoor grill for dinner which gave the area a delicious aroma. Stepping out of the car, you gave your arms a nice big stretch and took a deep breath in and out. You’d lived in a more rural area growing up, and being near the trees and the water really made you feel more at home.

Before you could protest, Luke was carrying your bag inside as well as his own, and you scurried along to claim a bedroom before they were all gone. You settled for a small bedroom that was more like a nook just off the kitchen, but it had a nice big window that you thought would give wonderful sunrise views of the lake when you woke up the next day, so its size and the single bed didn’t bother you.

After a welcome night cap and a brief discussion of plans for tomorrow (Calum offered to cook breakfast, Ashton was coordinating yoga down on the lake’s shore, Crystal and Sierra had mapped out some easy hikes, and Michael and Luke had organised boat hire and tubing), you all adjourned to your own rooms for some sleep. You’d been tossing and turning for what felt like hours, replaying Luke’s words that you overhead in the car in your head, when you heard someone step into the kitchen and open the fridge. You’d left your bedroom door slightly ajar because it was kind of warm in the cabin, so you were able to crawl up the bed and squint out into the kitchen to see who was on the hunt for a midnight snack. Even without your glasses on, you could tell the blurry, broad-shouldered, white-singlet clad kitchen intruder was Luke from a mile away.

You didn’t want to startle him, but you weren’t sure how many other chances you’d get this weekend to talk to him entirely alone. You pulled a sweater over your head, located your glasses and slowly shuffled over to the doorway.

“Hey, kitchen intruder. What’s on for midnight snack?” Your voice was soft, but Luke still jumped a mile and clutched at his chest, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. To be fair, hearing the fridge open metres away from me unexpectedly was a bit of a heart stopper too, pal.” You teased, crossing across the kitchen to lean up against the counter next to where Luke was making a nutella sandwich.

“I guess that makes us even then, sweetheart.” Luke shot you a wink, and you felt your heart leap in your chest.

“Gonna make one for me too, or what?” You said, making grabby hands at Luke’s sandwich.

“Well considering you asked SO nicely…” Luke stuck his tongue out at you, but pulled out more slices of bread onto the cutting board and started making you a sandwich anyway.

You paused for a moment, and took Luke in. Even in the middle of the night, after a long and tiring drive, he still looked so damn good. And he was making you a chocolate-y snack. What a dream. A dream, that if you just took a little leap of faith, could maybe be part of your reality.

“Hey, Luke?” You half-whispered, almost not wanting him to hear you. His head perked up immediately, sparkling blue eyes meeting yours with a curious look.

“Yeah?” He half-whispered back.

“I know what you should do.” You spoke louder and more purposefully this time, the adrenaline taking over as you angled your body towards Luke’s.

“About what?” Luke countered, not moving an inch as you got a little closer.

“About the girl you’re in love with.”

Luke froze, dropping the butter knife covered in nutella onto the kitchen counter with a loud clang. He swallowed audibly, before fixing you with a look that you couldn’t quite read.

“Oh yeah? What should I do, do you reckon?” The mystery stare was gone, and the familiar mischievous glint you loved to see in Luke’s eyes replaced it, as he moved in and closed the gap between you, bringing you chest to chest.

“I think you should tell her. Mike gives good advice, there’s a pretty good chance she feels the same.” You could feel yourself smiling uncontrollably, as you glanced up and realised how close Luke’s face was to yours.

“I guess I’ll take my chances, then.”

Before you could respond, Luke cupped your face with both hands and kissed you, hard. You felt like your skin was on fire, and your heart was about to burst out of your chest, but kissing Luke also felt like coming home and finding everything you’d ever hoped and waited for.

The nutella sandwiches could wait. You had some making up for lost time to do first.

Taglist: If there’s a line through your name, I couldn’t tag you, so please message me to let me know your new URL or what the go is! Tumblr might just being dumb, who knows. @suchalonelysunflower @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @loveroflrh @spicycal @notinthesameguey @metalandboybands @cheekysos @ashton-trash  @another-lonely-heart @queenalienscherrypie  @becihadshawn  @allthestarsandthemoon 

[nazyalenskyism]

The Love of My Life When... (Part 5)

Ao3: The Love of My Life When... Tumblr: The Love of My Life When... Summary: Part 5 of The Love of My Life When… a Zoyalai fic. | The call that neither of them wanted to make reminds them of their favourite moments together. And maybe, just maybe, they begin to realize what they want. A/N: Here’s part 5! It’s been a while since the last chapter, so thank you for keeping up with it! All your comments and feedback are amazing and I love reading them ❤️❤️

Audrey said she saw you out past twelve o'clock Just because you're hurting doesn't mean I'm not If it doesn't go away by the time I turn thirty I made a mistake and I'll tell you I'm sorry "Sorry"

        “Ugh,” Zoya groaned, peeling off her shiny silver heels, collapsing in her favourite armchair. It had been an exhausting night, they had been putting together some of the final details for Tamar and Nadia’s wedding, as it was in two weeks. Of course, that had only been the first half of the night, the second had involved going to the club. Zoya threw a blanket over herself, considering sleeping in the chair, that was how tired she was.

        Before she could nod off however, there was one last thing she had to do. Calling Nikolai after the disaster in the park, seemed like the worst idea she could fathom. She knew Genya was the one who’d orchestrated the whole thing. Setting her and Nikolai up to be partners for the whole wedding weekend. She would have to share her duties with him, walk down the aisle with him at the end of the wedding, be his partner for the ridiculous flashmob Tamar had planned as a surprise to Nadia and the even more ridiculous flashmob Nadia had planned as a surprise to Tamar. Because that totally wasn’t going to end in flames. She didn’t want to do this, but she had to. It wasn’t for her, it was for her friends, and she would do this, even if she would much rather do anything else in the world. At least the drinks at the bar had lowered her inhibitions to the point that she could do this without wanting to cry. That’s how she usually felt when Nikolai was mentioned these days.

        “Come on Koja,” she called, smiling softly at the grey cat who jumped into her lap, curling contentedly under Zoya’s loving stroke of her soft head. Koja had been yet another gift from Nikolai’s birthday week celebrations for her. Zoya let out a small laugh, remembering how excited he’d been to give her the cat, how infectious his joy was. He was amiable with everyone, but he never let anyone see his true goofiness but her. She missed a lot of things that she tried to pretend she didn’t, but most of all she missed him. Some days she missed him so much she felt like it was breaking her from the inside out. She knew she would be fine without him, but as each day passed, she had to wonder, ‘did she want to be without him?’

        No. Her decision was final. She was Zoya Nazyalensky and she would not change her mind, no matter what her traitorous heart said. She would not back away from her duties, especially not after Genya had spammed her with 21 texts and 12 calls all telling her to, “Nazyalensky up and just call Nikolai already.”

        “Well Koja, time to call Nikolai,” she murmured, feeling a pang in her chest as the cat’s ears perked up at the sound of her favourite person’s name. “I can do this.”

                                                   ***

        “Ugh,” Nikolai groaned, collapsing into the hammock in front of his bedroom’s window, overlooking the city and the edges of the bay. He usually slept in his bed, but on nights where he particularly missed the sea, he would sleep in the hammock, the gentle rocking and distant view of the water helping him fall asleep. A soft whine sounded from the floor and Nikolai saw his puppy, Sobachka pouting up at him, clearly wanting to sleep on top of his owner, as usual. He was lucky he was still a puppy, if he were any bigger he would’ve crushed Nikolai in his sleep or tumbled out of his hanging bed. He sighed, knowing he didn’t have it in him to reject the dog’s pleas tonight. He settled back into a comfortable position, Sobachka’s floppy gold ears resting beneath his chin. Nikolai wanted nothing more than to go to sleep after an exhausting day of gathering things for the wedding. Unfortunately, he had one more thing to take care of tonight. He opened his phone, gathering his courage to call before he saw a slew of notifications for his Instagram dms, all from someone named Audrey who he vaguely remembered going to uni with.

        ‘Nikolai! It’s Audrey.’

        ‘I think I saw Zoya at the club tonight’

        ‘She was wearing silver and black’

        ‘You guys aren’t still together, right?’

        ‘Anyways she was there with some guy? look at this pic, it was 1:30 am.’

        Attached to the last message was an image that Nikolai clicked and when he zoomed in, he saw that it was taken at a club, Zoya wearing a slinky silver dress, her hand on the shoulder of a tall guy in a suit, trailing him out of the club. He let out a sigh. He hadn’t thought Zoya would move on from them so quickly, but regardless of that, he knew he ought to be happy that she was happy. No matter what, he wanted that for her. Although… as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. He wasn’t jealous, there was nothing to be jealous about, she wasn’t his and he wasn’t hers, but he just wanted… he wanted what he could never have. And he was a fool for that.

        Sobachka barked at the ringing of the phone, and Nikolai frowned, had she read his mind? “Hi.”

        “Lantsov, Genya says we need to go over our duties for the wedding.”

        “And you want to do that now? At almost 3 AM? How did you even know if I would be awake?”

        “Oh please, you and David were helping Nadia with something sciencey tonight, and you never sleep well, not without—” she stopped mid sentence, realizing that this time she was the one who’d let something slip.

        He had trouble sleeping, he always had, and for some reason, he’d found that if he played piano before bed, it almost always helped him sleep. He had his own piano room at his place, but Zoya had bought him a keyboard for when he stayed at her’s.

        “How do you know I haven’t played tonight?” he asked, attempting to gloss over the awkward pause.

        “Please, Nadia texted me when she dropped you both off home, and if you played the piano at 3 AM your stupid neighbour would’ve called ME complaining and telling you to shut up.”

        “That’s fair,” he sighed. “So… what were you up to before this? Out at the club?” Oh, he hadn’t meant to blurt that out. Maybe his lack of sleep was affecting him.

        “Tamar actually— wait how did you know that?”

        He hesitated, “I saw you walking out of the club with some guy in a suit.”

        “Some guy?”

        “Some guy,” he confirmed.

        “You IDIOT that was TOLYA.”

        Nikolai let out a dry laugh, “and that’s what I get for paying attention to Audrey.”

        “Audrey? I think she tried to get me to join her pyramid scheme… she only stopped when I pretended to be a part of another one and tried to recruit her.”

        “Intriguing! And what were the results?”

        “She blocked me on all social media, tried to convince Genya that I was going to steal David and that I stole Adrik from her.”

        “Huh.”

        “Yeah.”

        “So about the rehearsal dinner—”

        “Lantsov,” he heard her take in a deep breath, “I know this might be hard for you… but don’t you think it was hard for me too?”

        “You cut things off so easily, I didn't think that it was,” he said slowly. He didn’t know what had brought on Zoya’s forthcoming mood but he wasn’t about to ruin it.

        “It’s not easy for me! Seeing you out with other people… I’m hurting too,” she finished sharply, and Nikolai felt his throat tighten, his careful attitude flying out the window.

        “What if this was a mistake? What if the reason you’re unhappy is because this isn’t what you wanted?”

        After a long pause, Zoya spoke up again, “No. It was the right thing to do. I’m not changing my mind. If, by the time I’m 30, I somehow regret it, I’ll tell you I’m sorry. But it won’t matter then, Nikolai, because you’ll be married and happy and living the life you were supposed to have before you met me.”                               He didn’t have anything to say to that.

        Zoya waited for Nikolai to say something, and was surprised when all he said was, “okay, Zoya. So for the rehearsal dinner, I was thinking I could set up my stuff at 5, and you can start at 6, since I’m driving up first. That leaves us enough time to double check everything before the dinner. Then for the ceremony, you’re walking in with Nadia, we just have to practice walking out, and how we’re setting up the reception. Genya said she’s going to email all that to us in the morning.”

        “That sounds good,” she said.

        “Good. Well, I guess that’s it then. I should—”

        “Wait. Nikolai…” she didn’t know what to say… she just wanted to say something to him, something to let him know how she felt, but she couldn’t find the right words.

        “I know, Zoya,” and she could imagine him smiling softly, despite how she continued to step on his heart. “I know. Goodnight.”

        “Goodnight,” she echoed faintly, waiting until the line clicked on his end to bring the phone back to her face and whisper, “sorry,” a quiet sob shaking her body.

                                                   ***

        Nikolai pulled a hand through his hair, even more confused than before. Everything Zoya said was what he expected her to say— but her behaviour confused him, and if he didn’t know any better he would think that she didn’t want to still be broken up. But if there was anything he could rely on, it was that she was Zoya Nazyalensky, and she wouldn’t change her mind. Still, that didn’t stop him from remembering what it had been like before all this.

        The way she used to put her head on his chest as the hammock rocked. How he used to tell her stories about the sea and the year he’d spent on a boat with Tolya and Tamar before he’d met her. She always wanted to know more about the lives he’d lived, and in return for his stories, she would whisper secrets in his ear, not even trusting the wind as much as she trusted him. Some nights, curled in the hammock, Zoya would point out the constellations, teaching him what her aunt had taught her, while other nights, she would clear out the furniture in her living room and demand, with her hands on her hips, that Nikolai teach her how to dance--she refused to let him excel in something she knew she could best him in. And so he’d taught her. And in return, she’d taught him how to ice skate, the one thing he had never tried, holding his hands the entire time, regardless of how much she’d teased him. He had been terrible, utterly terrible, but as he’d watched Zoya skate perfectly backwards, all while helping him, he had realized that he would never find this again. This was it for him. She was it for him.

        His hopeless heart had only gotten ensnared worse when he’d made her a traditional dish he’d learned about in Russia, the only thing he knew how to cook well, and she had looked at him with so much ferocity, wanting to know how to cook it for herself. She was a worse cook than him, and had never quite managed it, despite his teachings. So she would call him whenever she was stressed and wanted her comfort food, although she never said that, he could always tell. She’d come to rely on him, trust him, in the same way he had relied on her, trusted her. He’d given her his heart-- but in the end he had been mistaken. His heart was closely guarded and despite Zoya’s warnings not to, he’d given himself to her completely. The pain he felt now was his own fault, and he didn’t know if it would ever truly go away.

                                                       ***

        Zoya couldn’t sleep either, and no piano melody would help bring her closer to it either. On the nights she could sleep, she found herself in the same situation, she dreamed of him, and only him. The press of his fingers against her arms when he steadied her after she’d drank too much. Warm kisses to her head when she was sick and couldn’t leave the bed, or protest his soft actions. His calloused fingers brushing back her hair in the moments after she shared her frustrations. The distance he stumbled back— as if he’d been struck in the chest when she had said she couldn’t do it anymore. The distance from his apartment, where she’d stayed each night to her own, cold and alone on the other side of town. The hurt in his eyes when she’d twisted the knife further, saying that she would have never been able to care for him— love him in the way he did for her. The pain that passed over his otherwise neutral features when he’d realized that she was yet another person who he’d let himself love, only for his love to never be reciprocated. The boy he’d shown her, who collected scars he didn’t deserve, retreated back into a man who had a collection of scars whose stories she would spend a lifetime forgetting. Whose hands she would spend a lifetime trying to forget. Whose love she would spend forever mourning. For all that she’d said to Nikolai to make him forget her, she was beginning to realize that if Nikolai would have her back, she would gladly go.

        “Sorry,” she repeated softly, even though he couldn’t hear her, she vowed that she would make things right, even if he didn’t want her again, she knew she owed him that much. She was Zoya Nazyalensky and she wanted to change her mind, to listen to what her traitorous heart said, but only if that’s what he wanted too.

[smilexcaptainx]

Can you do an imagine about Chris Evans and y/n getting married (WOFC) (black) and looking for a dress but y/n is so stress out she couldn’t find anything so Chris asks Vera Wang to design a dress and at wedding dress she’s wearing it and Chris is in tears and everything 😍😍

request an imagine

Pairing: Chris Evans x POC!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy!

Warning(s): None

Word Count: 1.7K

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do you want to be part of my imagines tag list?

Chris had chosen you to be his forever, and he didn’t want to get married to anybody else on the entire planet. He wanted to spend his entire life with you. He wanted you, flaws and all. He loved you through it all. The wedding was going to take place this Friday, and Chris found himself getting more excited the closer the day got.

As for you, picking out the wedding dress seemed like the hardest job in the world at the moment. You would spend your time wedding dress shopping with your friends and family, but not one single dress stuck out to you. Every trip ended with you not liking it, the dress didn’t feel right. It was frustrating and overall stressful, but you didn’t want to let your soon-to-be-husband to know that.

You knew Chris was already dealing with all the anxiety coming from the wedding planning that you didn’t want to pile on anymore distress to the situation.

“I still don’t think this is the one,” you said, staring at yourself in the large mirror. “I say we try the other one.”

The woman nodded and quickly sped off to fetch the other dress. You sigh to yourself and retrieve your phone out of the pocket you placed it in. You gasp as you saw all the notifications from your fiancee, five missed called and five text messages asking where you were. It had totally slipped from your mind that Chris had a special night planned for you tonight.

The nice lady came back in with the dress you asked for, but you politely explained the circumstance to her. Luckily she understood and excused you from the dress fitting, you gave her a very good tip in return. You felt bad for leaving so abruptly, but you were already late to the romantic night that Chris had planned for you at your house.

>

You barge through the front door, instantly inhaling the sweet smell of your favorite food. Chris poked his head out from the kitchen and smiled widely as he saw that it was you.

“Glad to see you didn’t leave me,” chris joked, walking out the kitchen while drying his hands on a rag. “now time for that romantic night I promised you.”

Chris walked up to you and intertwined his hands with yours, leading you through the kitchen to the most romantic set up you had ever seen. Candles, roses, it was perfection. You smile brightly and peck your lover on the lips before going to sit down. You two gather together your plates of food before Chris began talking.

“I understand that you’ve been dress shopping lately [Y/N],” chris spoke, cutting into his stake. “and your mother told me about the stress you’ve been going through lately.”

“Oh, um, yeah, sorry,” you apologized, beginning your cutting of the steak as well. “I just didn’t want to pile anymore stress on the planning. I know you’ve already got a lot on your plate.”

“[Y/N], I am always willing to help you out regardless of the situation,” chris reassured, focusing on you. “you’re going to be my wife, and I don’t want you to hold anything back from me. I may not understand, but I promise I will try my best to. If you’re going through anything, just know that I am always here to listen.”

“Thanks Chris,” you thanked sincerely, slightly blushing. “I guess it’s just hard to find the right dress.”

“See, that I understand,” chris said, receiving a confused glare from you. He blinked. “oh, um, I mean it was hard trying to find the right woman to marry, but once I did, I knew instantly that she was the one.”

“But how did you know?”

Chris smirked with a nonchalant shrug. “You just know.”

Chris reached across the table and placed his hands on yours. He bored his eyes into yours and gave you a sweet smile. That simple smile was your reassurance that everything was going to be alright. Chris could let you know that things were going to be okay from a single look. The rest of the night went just as Chris planned, amazing. At the end of the night, Chris had you swaddled in his arms and asleep in your bed.

>

Morning arrived and Chris was no longer in bed, but instead there was a note that read “Head to the kitchen.” with Chris’s name signed at the bottom, letting you know that he was the one who wrote it. You get out of bed and followed the orders of the piece of paper. You walk into the kitchen, your eyes widening at the most beautiful white dress that made the other dresses you tried on look like trash.

“You like it?”

You whip around at the unfamiliar voice, gasping in reaction. You throw your hands over your mouth as the female designer approached you.

“Y-You're—”

“Yes. I know,” she chuckled, shifting her eyes over to the bright white dress that was laid out on the counter. “Chris contacted me at the beginning of this week and asked me to design a dress for you.”

“You’ve made dresses for all my favorite idols!” you squeal as she made her way over to the dress. “I can’t believe my wedding dress was made by the Vera Wang!”

“Gee, I sure sound important when you say my name like that,” she said humorously. “now, let’s go get this fitted on you before Chris gets back. He said that he could only shop for so long.”

You chortle at her comment and followed her instructions as she assisted you with the dress fitting. You knew the second that you laid eyes on the dress was the one. Chris was right, you would just know when you saw the dress. The experience was even greater as you tried it on, it fit perfectly and everything! You couldn’t wait until your wedding which was now tomorrow!

“This is my dream dress!” you expressed joyfully, smiling at yourself in the long mirror. “I can’t believe Chris really did this for me,” you turn toward the designer. “thank you so much Vera, this means the world to me.”

“Of course honey, you look absolutely stunning,” she complimented with a bright smile. A ding comes from her phone and she pulled it out to look at it. “well, it seems that Chris is a half hour away,” she swung her eyes up to you. “do you want Chris to see you in it?”

You shake your head. “No, he’ll have to wait until tomorrow, I want to surprise him just like he did to me.”

“Sounds good,” she nodded. “now let’s get you out of that dress.”

>

You never knew that this day would ever come, but it was funny how things played out sometimes. You started out as an extra in one of Chris’s films, not knowing that a simple smile and wave could take you a long way. Every morning before Chris started his shoot, you would greet him with a kind smile and wave. You never thought it took an impact on him because he was the big star and you were just the extra.

If it wasn’t for him joining you at lunch on that one day, you never would have gotten to know him and he wouldn’t have known that you were the one he has been looking for. There you were, minutes away from walking down the aisle, ready to show Chris the dress. You just hoped that you weren’t going to be emotional. The time had come and you found yourself walking down the aisle with your arm linked to your fathers.

You couldn’t believe it, you were going to marry the love of your life. The second that Chris laid eyes on his soon-to-be-wife in her dress, he immediately choked up. He envisioned the perfect life with you, being together forever. There was no other way he could imagine his life when it came to raising a family. You were the perfect wife, beautiful inside and out. The event felt like a blur, the music echoed through your head.

Before you knew it, you were hand in hand with Chris and the officiant ready to make it official. It felt like it was only you and Chris in the room. Chris clenched his jaw, a tear sliding down his cheek as he blinked. You gently bite down on your bottom lip, gradually feeling the emotions catching up with you. The officiant turned the time over to you and Chris, and Chris volunteered to go first.

“I’m the luckiest man on earth to call you my wife [Y/N],” chris said, his voice trembling. You could tell that he was holding back more tears than he was showing. “I know you’re going to be an amazing wife, mother and grandmother. You’ve loved me through all my hard times and forgave me when I couldn’t even forgive myself. Thank you. I love you so much.”

Chris sniffled, tears sliding down his cheeks. He took a quick moment and swiftly wiped the wet tears off his face, sighing.

“I’m sorry I’m emotional,” he apologized, taking a deep breath. “you just look so beautiful in that dress [Y/N]. It just reminded me how grateful I am to have such a gorgeous woman like you in my life. Inside and out.”

To think that you wouldn’t get emotional, those words started the water works. You tried to keep the tears in, but once you blinked, they began to come as well. Chris was good at making you feel the same emotion. You take in a deep breath and continue with your words, striking Chris in the heart just as much. He tightened his grip on your hands as the priest got to the part you’ve been waiting for.

“I do.” chris proudly spoke, a smile growing on his face. “I do. I do. I do!”

You chuckled and so did a couple of people in the audience. He was such a dork sometimes. The priest said his things to you and before you said those two most important words in your life, held your husband’s hands firmly.

“I do.”

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Feedback is always welcome!

I do not own this gif.

Credit goes to the owner.

Tag List:

( If your name is in bold, that means Tumblr won’t let me tag you, but I will still message you so you can still be notified )

@whenpugzfly , @mo320 , @hauntedhoagiesoulkid , @babydazz , @cporter003 , @let-the-music-take-c0ntrol , @trashparker , @catislittlecorner , @cruciomondani394 , @me-lis

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@hockeyandheroes

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[dear-selena]

Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!

Caught Web Handed (Pt. 2)

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: “Omg, if you’re feeling it could you make a Caught Web Handed part two? I loved part one sm!”

Summary: When a new Tumblr blogger who claims to be Spider-Man starts reblogging a ton of Spider-Man fanfiction, including yours, the community goes into a frenzy and you confront the boy who promised not to say anything. 

Warnings: Some swearing, this is literally so meta be warned

A/N: I would like to thank the anon who requested this two months ago! I’m sorry it took me so long to write this out! I genuinely didn’t know how to continue this story until recently. If you want me to continue this, please let me know! I could possibly write one more part to this, but only if you guys want it. 

Words: 1971

REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

Part 1

—————-

You love that Tumblr started the group chat feature, but damn, you wish you got notifications from it.

Yawning, you cover your mouth and suddenly crave your bed. Last night, you stayed up messaging a ton of bloggers in a new group chat someone created for your favorite web-slinging hero and didn’t even realize how late it was when the conversation whined down. 

The group chat is called “Them Spider-Man OCs 😩😍🕸🕷❤️💙” and is filled with a bunch of your mutuals. The entire night was spent complimenting one another on each other’s fanfictions, and sharing anything and everything about everyone’s OC’s. You couldn’t help the giddiness you felt when people told you how much they loved Trevor Trenton, your Spider-Man OC. 

Because Tumblr mobile refuses to send notifications when you get new messages, you stayed on the app for hours to make sure you were as involved in the conversation as possible. You knew you could have left the conversation at any moment, but you were just way too excited to finally bond with all your mutuals at once. 

Walking down the halls of Midtown High, you lazily stroll to your first class as if you had all the time in the world to get there. You hadn’t seen your friends yet this morning, making time go especially slow. Not knowing what else to do, you decide to open the Tumblr mobile app and check for new notifications in your group chat. To your surprise, a green circle appeared on the group chat photo someone edited of Spider-Man swinging through Queens with heart emojis all around him. 

You open the chat, and your heart jumps immediately. 

(Your Favorite Spider-Man Blog): Guys did TheOfficialSpiderMan account reblog your work too or is it just me?!?!

Suddenly frozen in place, you reread (Favorite Spider-Man Blog)’s message. With your heart bouncing in your chest, full of uncomfortable adrenaline, you quickly leave the chat and check messages and had to stop yourself from screaming. 

An account called TheOfficialSpiderMan had indeed reblogged your latest update on your Trevor Trenton fanfiction. 

Tapping on the blogger’s icon, you start investigating if this was truly the “Official” Spider-Man. The first thing you do is read the bio: 

“Yes, I’m the real Spider-Man XD. Still trying to figure out how to use this site so bear with me.

Queens, NY | Avenger | Science Nerd”

Looking at the blog’s avatar, you see that it’s a selfie that the hero took while swinging in the air. You’ve never seen a photo of Spider-Man like this before, but you couldn’t tell if it was edited or not. If this is a fake account, this person must be really good at photoshop… 

Scrolling through the blog, you notice that this person’s not only reblogged your fanfiction but almost all your mutuals too. You recognized some of the stories as one’s you’ve read prior and almost all of them were from people who were in the Spider-Man group chat with you. Eventually, however, you scrolled to the bottom of the blog and found a simple text post. 

“Hey Everyone! It’s me, Spider-Man. I’m just here to interact with you guys cause I’ve heard that I have fans on this site. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for supporting me. Love you all

The post, although wholehearted and sweet, immediately fills you with worry. If this truly was Spider-Man, that means your favorite hero, the hero you’ve been fantasizing about through your writing, was reading your stuff. He was reading this personified version of himself that you created for your silly romantic pleasure, and that scares you shitless. A part of you feels exposed in a way you never thought possible, and even though your Tumblr username doesn’t quite give away your identity, you still feel extremely vulnerable. The thought of the man behind the mask seeing your work makes you feel quite uneasy, especially because you don’t know who the man behind the mask is. 

Suddenly, the bell for first-period rings, and you’re brought back to reality. As peers shuffle through the halls around you, you shove your phone in your pocket and pick up the pace to get to your first class. While walking, you couldn’t help but wonder Why Spider-Man chose to solely reblog fanfiction. There are plenty of Spider-Man Tumblr posts consisting of gif-sets, fan edits, and general news about him, so why fanfiction? 

It was as if Spider-Man has some sort of motivated intentions. 

——————

Peter Parker hits the reblog button on yet another well-written story about him. 

Well, better yet, him as a superhero. 

Ever since he found out that you write fanfiction about Spider-Man a couple of months back, Peter couldn’t stop wondering what else was written about him. After a self-debate for whether or not it’d be a good idea to actually make a Tumblr account and find your work, he decided to go for it. After all, he was pretty bored last night, and what better way to interact with fans that through a popular fandom website? 

So he created “TheOfficialSpiderMan” and immediately started reading fanfiction. 

He has to say, he was quite amazed at how talented his fans were. A lot of the stories and characters they created were so unique, and the plots they wrote up were quite clever! He instantly picked up on some tropes people would write about, including ones where the reader was Iron Man’s child (he has to admit, he found those stories quite meta). 

And after a ton of scrolling and reblogging, he came across a story about a version of Spider-Man named Trevor Trenton. He immediately knew that this story was yours, and took notice of your Tumblr name, (Your Tumblr blog name). He wanted to follow you but figured he should lay low right now. ‘I shouldn’t be giving certain fans special attention… especially if this certain fan is a good friend of his and possibly his crus-.’ 

“Hey, Peter!” 

Peter turns around to see Ned with his usual smile on his face. 

“Oh, Ned! Guess what?” Peter proceeds to shove his phone in his best friend’s hand. “I found (Y/N)’s Tumblr account!” 

Ned’s eyes go wide as he examines Peter’s phone, seeing a post with your blog name on it. “Oh my god, Peter,” Ned starts to laugh. “You did not just join Tumblr to find her fanfiction.” 

“Of course not,” Peter protests, going to show the blog account. “Spider-Man did.” 

Ned looks up at Peter with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Damn Peter,” Ned says sarcastically. “Didn’t think you’d be one to join fandom culture.” 

Peter rolls his eyes as the bell rings, indicating that second-period was about to start. Saying a quick goodbye to Ned, Peter quickly makes his way to his robotics class, a class that you just so happen to share with him. As Peter enters the room, he scans it and instantly spots you at one of the workshop tables, head buried in your phone, and wide-eyed. 

Peter smirks. He knows exactly what’s going on. 

He makes his way over you, and plops down in the seat next to you, causing you to look up at him in surprise. “Oh, hey Peter.” you squeak out, completely caught off-guard. 

Peter couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. The last time he saw you this flustered was when MJ caught you writing Spider-Man fanfiction back at his place, and he had to admit, you looked pretty cute. “Hey, (Y/N). What are you looking at?” 

You look back at your phone and quickly snooze the screen, shoving your phone in your pocket. “Oh, i-it’s nothing…” You say unconfidently, a blush appearing on your face. “Just a stupid Tumblr update.” 

“Oh?” Peter asks, knowing what you meant by ‘update’. “Does it have to do with Spider-Man?” He couldn’t help but push the conversation on you. He was too excited to see your reaction. 

“Actually, yeah.” You finally admit after a moment. “My mutuals and I are kinda freaking out cause a blog that claims to be Spider-Man is reblogging our stories. It’s weird.” 

“Really, weird?” He questions. “What makes that so weird?” 

“Why would a superhero go online just to read fanfiction. Superheroes shouldn’t even know about this kinda stuff. They should be focused on, I don’t know… saving the world or something. It’s just weird that he’s only reblogging fanfiction and-.” You cut yourself off when you look up at Peter and see he’s just sitting there, head propped up against his hand, leaning on the table with his elbow, sporting a knowing smirk of some sort. Confused at why he was looking at you like that, you almost question him. But that was when you started to connect the dots. 

It feels like Spider-Man has some motivated intentions. Peter Parker is intentionally talking about this with you. 

You squint your eyes at the boy in front of you. “Peter, did you tell Spider-Man about fanfiction?” 

Peter blinks, his smirk off his face. “W-what? No, I didn’t.” 

Your glare intensifies, and Peter sits up straight. “Are you lying to me? You just had your ‘I-know-something-you-don’t face on.” 

Peter swallows, suddenly nervous. He didn’t think you’d react like this. “I’m not lying, (Y/N). I did not tell Spider-Man about fanfiction.” 

You did… a couple of months ago… 

You look away, now glaring at the table. “Then explain how Spider-Man knows about fanfiction and why he only reblogs it?” 

Peter starts to sweat. “Uh, I-I don’t know. Maybe he likes to read?” 

“Or someone told him to find it?” You look back up at Peter, whose clearly uncomfortable, making it easier for you to believe that he’s lying. “Maybe while they were at their Stark Internship or something?” 

Peter mentally facepalms. He’s not getting out of this, is he? 

“(Y/N), please.” Peter pleads. “I promise I didn’t say anything to S-Spider-Man. And even if I did, why is it so bad? Why is it bad that he’s reading fanfiction?” 

“Because!” You shout, catching the attention of some of your classmates. Embarrassed, you force Peter to crouch down close to you so you can whisper. “The stories on Tumblr can get a bit uncanny. What if he finds smut about himself?” 

Peter raises an eyebrow. “What’s a smut?” 

You roll your eyes. “Exactly, and I’m NOT going into that right now.” You shudder, realizing what could happen if your favorite hero finds stories like… that.

Nevertheless, you push those thoughts out of your head and continue on. “But seriously Peter. You told me you wouldn’t tell him about this stuff, and how he’s reading a ton of it? Something doesn’t add up.” 

Peter wants to argue back, but he honestly doesn’t know what to say. He can’t assure you that your writing is good and that he’s enjoying seeing his fans’ creativity because he’d have to reveal his secret to you, and that’s the last thing he wants to do. Especially now. 

Before he knows it, your packing your stuff back up, getting out of your seat and slinging your backpack over your shoulder. “Find me when you can tell me the truth.” With that, you walk to the other side of the room and sit at a new table, just in time for the teacher to walk in and discuss the new project. 

Peter couldn’t help but mentally beat himself up. Was doing all this a mistake? He genuinely just wanted to find your work and actually interact with his fans. He never expected it to backfire like this. Now he has to find a way to assure you he wasn’t technically lying, all while keeping his identity a secret. With all the thoughts racing through his mind, there was one that stood out: 

He fucked up.

————–

-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut // @bookstoreblossom // @jackiehollanderr

-Marvel Tag List-

@sammghgecko

-Permanent Tag List-  

@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa // @wowursofunny // @cals-cigarette // @supernerdycookietrashblr // @delicately-important-trash // @unlikelygalaxygive

[onlyfansdotcomslashshawnmendes]

Sapphire and Moonlight

Bad boy Shawn, because ‘Señorita’ is still stuck in my head // Shawn Mendes smut // NSFW // Word Count: 6,531 // ShawnxOC // I didn’t name her though so insert whoever in your mind // Just...tons of flirting and bantering and sexy sex, a little angst // please excuse any typos I’m awful at catching them, also sorry tumblr wrecks my formatting. 

It was late July, the time of the year when the only reprieve from the heat falls just around midnight and only lasts just till sunrise. The time of the year when humidity clung to the air like a lingering emotion. And he had the audacity to walk in wearing a leather jacket. The sun was just coming up, and even as he slipped inside, shrugging off that jacket in the cool AC of the diner, his skin already glistened with summer. He was tan, dark eyes, and dark curls, slightly damp that threatened to fall in his face any moment. As he sat down at one of the booths, putting his jacket on the seat beside him, he shifted slightly, straightening out his clothes a bit. It was almost as if he’d been riding a while and had just remembered that he may not look as presentable as he’d thought. About that time the waitress came over to his table, introducing herself and giving him a menu. It was also about the time that another waitress in the diner caught his eye. He wasn’t exactly subtle either, his eyes locked on her starting at her face and slowly moving down her body before moving back up it. As he made it back up to her face again, she glanced at him, clearly feeling someone staring at her. Once they made eye contact, he smiled at her, just still watching her even as she turned back to the table who’s order she was taking. He didn’t stop, not until his waitress came back, at which point he gave a sort of rushed, ‘oh uh sorry’ and he would have glanced at the menu, before back up at her, “I’ll take a coffee, black, and a number four, thank you,” he said it with a smile, handing the menu back to her, before turning his face back to that other waitress. He shifted slightly, leaning up as if he might get up and go speak to her. As she closed her notepad though, slipping it and her pen back in her apron she turned to face him, clearly intending to walk past his table. Immediately his face lit up, and he poised himself to speak to her, “Hi I’m Sh-” but she leaned down, cutting him off, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she said as she walked back toward the kitchen. For a moment he was silent, eyes wide, answering a soft ‘No I…’ under his breath before just sitting back in his booth and kind of sighing to himself. When he thought about it, he probably did seem creepy, but he leaned back into the seat then, running a hand through his curls to push them away from his face. It wasn’t much longer before his food came, and he began eating slowly, just trying to relax now and shake the tension from the night off of his shoulders. When he saw her again, he gave her a soft smile now, almost apologetic, or he did his best to make his face seem that way. Once he was finished with his meal, he did wait until she was standing at the front counter before going up to pay for the meal, “Hey,” he said softly, before he really gave her a chance to notice him. “Oh,” she said looking up from what she was doing to lock eyes with him. For a split second he could see it in her eyes, the fact that she was moments away from telling him off. “I’m sorry,” he said before she could, “If I was being creepy earlier.” “You were,” she added in before defended himself, and he could only smile at her, “I know, I’m sorry, I’ve been driving all night, and I’m sleep deprived, not that that’s an excuse or anything but,” again she chimed in, “It’s not,” she clarified. He just laughed again, “I’m Shawn,” he said, “I just…wanted to say hi, and ask your name.” As she pointed to her name tag on her uniform she looked back up at him, “Were you going to tell me I was too pretty not to be smiling too?” she asked but he bit his lip, shaking his head, “No, I promise not,” She seemed to believe that though, and held out her hand, “You’re ready to pay?” she asked, glancing down at the written receipt he was holding. “Oh, yeah I was,” he said handing it over and just letting her key it in the register. “If you’re not getting back on the road, there’s a motel just down the road, keep going straight you can’t miss it,” she said with a soft smile as they exchanged the difference of his bill and tip. “If you’re really that exhausted,” she added. But he gave her a little nod, “Thank you, that’s really kind, maybe I’ll see you around sometime?” he said as he took a step back but she just kind of shrugged at him and gave him a sort of ‘shoo’ motion with her hand. He did opt to take her advice, slipping his leather jacket back on just for the ride, and heading down to the motel to get himself a room. Almost as soon as he walked into the room he was sliding out of that jacket and falling on the bed. It hadn’t been an exaggeration, he had been driving most of the night, and he was exhausted. So soon enough he was entirely out, just sleeping away most of the day. By the time he woke up the sun was already beginning to set, hitting his window just right to shine a single streak of light threw his blinds and directly onto his face. It was what woke him, making him squint and groan, reflecting the metal on his earrings and casting rainbows on the walls of the motel room. He sat up inhaling deeply and cursing softly under his breath as he stretched the stiffness out of his body. Slowly he pulled himself off of the bed, and stretched completely, taking a moment to slip off his shoes and looking around before shuffling to the bathroom. It was a slow process of waking up and forcing himself to take a shower, but once he stepped out of the shower he did feel much better. He walked back into the main area of the room, standing in front of the bed as he dried his hair off, just letting the drops of water roll down his tan body. Once his hair was sufficiently dried he tossed the towel aside and walked back to his discarded jeans, pulling out his phone and unlocking it. A sigh left his mouth as he noted the lack of notifications. Quickly he swiped to his messages and scrolled to the thread he was looking for a response to, just sending another text message that read ‘??? I said I’m here, when am I picking it up?’ tossing his phone back onto the bed. Before he could make it back to his carry on bag though he heard his phone vibrate. He did instantly turn back to it and swipe up only to pause at the notification text that just said ‘when he ready for u to pick it up. relax ur being paid arent u?’ “Oh fuck you, you’re not paying me to wait around,” he said out loud to the empty room, his jaw clenching as he threw his phone back onto the bed and walked back to his travel bag. It was small but had a couple days of clothes in it, just enough his saddle bags would hold it. As he reached in though he pushed aside the gun, and the ammo just to toss some clothes onto the bed piece by piece before zipping his bag. Then he turned back to the bed and pulled on a pair of underwear before pulling on his jeans and then finally a button up shirt. He didn’t bother to respond to that text, hoping that it might send the sense that he was currently irritated with his ‘employers’. It was about that point he did glance at the time, taking note of the fact his stomach was growling, dinner time. He slipped his shoes back on, grabbing his wallet and his motorcycle keys along with his phone and room key, pocketing them. He did have the forethought to take that carry on bag and slip it into the closet of the room before heading out. Pulling his jacket on as he walked to his motorcycle the idea occurred to him to hit that same diner from the morning for dinner. But he did think better of it, and he decided that he would find somewhere else for the evening meal. It didn’t take him much driving to find another place, this one more like a grill though. It was a small town, there wasn’t really that many fast food places, and nothing was terribly far apart. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why this was the town he’d been sent to in the first place. What kind of Kingpin stayed in a place like this? He turned off his motorcycle in the gravel parking lot of that grill, getting off and locking the stand in place as he took his keys and headed inside. It was a hole in the wall kind of thing compared to some of the places he saw in bigger cities but it was homey. Part of the inside felt like a pub, a place for eating and drinking and part of it was clearly for dancing and talking. There was an outdoor patio area, lit up with lights where people were also dancing and talking. Music filled the inside and outside of the place as he just walked up to the bar, sitting on one of the stools and ordering a beer and a roadhouse kind of burger. While he waited on the food he did make a mental note to spend a couple of extra hours in the gym back home to knock of all of the calories he was racking up on this run. Dinner was fairly uneventful as he ate it, finishing his beer and ordering one more before taking the time to go ahead and leave money on the counter. With his second beer in hand though he stood up, venturing out to the patio, not really looking for anything or anyone, maybe more to get fresh air. But that was when he saw her, the waitress from earlier. A smile painted his lips and despite the fact he thought better of it, he did walk up to her, “Hi,” he said smiling in a coy way, “Let me buy you a drink to make up for being a creep earlier,” When she looked up at him, she pursed her lips, cocking her hip and resting one hand on it. “I have a drink,” she said holding it up, “Are you suddenly blind now?” she asked. “Let me buy you another,” he bargained. “So you can spike it? I’m good,” she clarified. Once again all he could do was laugh at her, looking down and smiling while he did, “You’re really determined to make sure I don’t shoot my shot, aren’t you?” he asked. But she nodded seriously, “Of course I am, boys like you are dangerous,” she said matter-of-factly. “Boys like me?” he asked furrowing a brow, “What is a boy like me?” his tone was a bit more coy than playful now, flirtatious. “You’re hot,” she said stepping up toe to toe with him despite the height difference, “And you know you’re hot no matter how much you want to modestly deny it. Girls never tell you no, they’re flattered to have you tripping over them. It’s killing you that I’m making you work for it,” she said with a head tilt. “No it’s not,” he said laughing some but she only nodded, “It is, it’s all over your face,” she explained, before resting her hand on his chest, perfectly manicured nails catching his eye. “And those eyes,” she said, her fingers slowly moving over his chest, “Such sweet eyes, deep brown, they look innocent, you’re not innocent. Those curls, you look like a little angel, you’re not an angel,” she said before running her hand up his neck only to rub a thumb over his lips, “Your lips say your kisses are poison, regardless of what kind of beautiful words come out of them,” she said. “Mhm,” he hummed, leaning his head down to gently nip her thumb. “What if you’re wrong; and everything you just said is absolutely total shit?” he asked, “What if my eyes are kind, not innocent? And what if I am an angel, without wings to take me back to heaven?” he asked leaning in closer, letting his lips nearly brush hers, inches apart. As his hand moved to rest on her jaw, his thumb brushing over her cheek. She could smell his scent, and not just the beer on his breath, whatever intoxicating cologne he wore. “What if my kisses taste like honey?” he said in almost a whisper, just for them being so close. “I never said poison wasn’t sweet,” she answered just as quietly. A soft laugh left his lips, lusty in nature, “Aren’t we both holding poison in glasses?” he asked against her lips, slowly lifting his head so his lips brushed hers. But he jolted back as the sound of glass shattered, liquid spraying onto his jeans and shoes and a soft gasp left his mouth. He looked down and saw instantly where she’d dropped her glass on the patio floor. Between the music and laughter only a few people had noticed, but his eyes shot back to her, “Now I’m not,” she said in a more stern voice, “Dance with me,” There was a moment of silence as he smiled and then slowly realized she wasn’t joking, “I’m a horrible dancer,” he said quietly. “I can lead,” she said, taking his beer and setting it aside, “Don’t you want to know how my body feels in your hands?” That earned her another soft laugh from him but he nodded and stepped closer to her, “Lead the way,” he said gesturing more toward the center of the outdoor area. She did take his hand though, pulling him out some and almost immediately dancing herself, just kind of swaying in front of him and taking his hands and pulling them to her sides. That part he did get pretty quickly, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his body up against hers. It took him a few minutes, but soon enough he was in motion with her, leaning down and brushing his lips against her cheek and jaw as she ran one hand up his back, tangling it into the back of his curls. “So,” she said after a moment against his jaw, nuzzling her face against his, “How does my body feel?” she asked with a giggle. “It fits in my hands perfectly,” he said against her jaw, giving her soft kisses along her skin there as he pressed his body against hers, his hands beginning to run up her back slowly. But almost as soon as he got that touchy, she pulled back, just turning her back to him. Once again she pressed up against him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she ground her hips back against him. At first he just put his hands on her sides, but slowly he let his palms wrap around her, resting on the front of her hips as he moved his hips in time with hers. The more they danced, changed positions and styles on the floor the more he fell in line with it. Of course it didn’t make him any less interested in her, and by the time she took his hand and pulled him to the side again, his cheeks were flushed a soft pink. He was sweating as she seemed to only glisten in the hot summer night. “I think you should get me a drink now,” she said looking up at him with a smile. He couldn’t help but grin, doing his best not to look so pleased with himself, “What do you want?” But she rolled her eyes at him, “You to get me a drink back at your hotel,” she said looking up at him with a rather sweet flirty smile. Now his grin was coy, biting his bottom lip as he took her hand, pulling her toward the front of the restaurant. “You’re eager,” she said laughing as she let him pull her along. Soon enough though they were standing in front of his motorcycle, and he was getting on before taking her hands and helping her get on as well. “Now you have to hold on really tight okay?” he said looking back at her. “Yeah, I know how this works,” she said in a more playful tone, wrapping her arms around his waist, running her palms up his chest slowly, and just holding him tight. Moments later though he was starting that bike and already beginning to drive them back toward the hotel. As he drove she did hold him close, her hands gently massaging his chest, resting her cheek against his back, just taking the opportunity to snuggle against him some. He was so big, especially compared to her, and she just took a moment to savor the way his toned muscles felt under her fingertips. Even through the fabric of his shirt she could feel the ripples beneath her fingers. Soon though the pulled up outside of that hotel, and he got off, once again getting the motorcycle in place, and then helping her get off of it, taking her hand as he pulled her along, slipping into his room with her and locking the door behind them.  Once he turned back to face her though, within seconds she was pushing him back onto the wall, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his face down, standing on her tiptoes even in the heels she was in to kiss him. Instantly his arms wrapped around her waist as he leaned down to kiss her. Long fingers slid up her back, one hand tangling into her hair at the nape of her neck, pulling gently. It was just enough to make her moan into that kiss, a soft little noise almost like a kitten mewl. As soon as her lips parted, his tongue slipped into her mouth and he was already walking her backward. He kept walking her back, slowly, his hand on her back guiding her, keeping himself bent over so that she wasn’t still on her tip toes. He walked her back until her shoulders hit the opposite wall, this wall only feet from the bed in the room. His tongue still tangled with hers inside of her mouth, and her hands left resting on his chest to push the jacket off of his shoulders. “I thought you wanted a drink,” he whispered against her lips, a smile painted on his own as he spoke. He broke it only to speak, shrugging off his jacket and pulling off his shirt while he was in the process, just to not have to stop kissing her again. “You’re so fucking cocky,” she said with a grin, pushing at his chest, almost as if to push him off of her, “With that attitude your cock must be huge,” her tone was sarcastic, “You walk like it is,” she purred. “Well, you’re about to find out aren’t you?” he asked, reaching to take a hold of her jaw, lifting her face to lock eyes with her before he kissed her again. She almost moaned into that kiss, just the amount of passion he put into it, his fingers slipping down lower to wrap around her throat as he took a step closer to her. Her hands found his body now, running up his sides and over his chest, down the ripples of his stomach. Nails gently dragging over his skin, leaving little claw marks along him while she did. The way they kissed was intense, starving as if they were trying to outdo each other. Both of their hands tangled in the other’s hair, his fingers pulling hers almost as if he’d hold her still that way. Her fingers tugged his curls though, almost just to feel his breathing shake against her lips. It felt like hours of those kisses before his hands found her hips and picking her up, her legs instinctively wrapping around his hips. His hands slid down her back, grabbing at her ass, and just sort of holding her up that way as he pressed her back more against the wall for leverage. Regardless it seemed effortless for him to hold her up that way, and he kept kissing her, like her breath was the only thing filling his lungs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, tangling her fingers in his curls, and giving soft moans and purrs into those kisses. It wasn’t much longer though before she turned her head to the side, exposing her neck to him, “I want more of you,” she whispered, giggling as she felt his kisses move down her neck. “More than kisses?” he whispered, his lips moving up the curve of her neck now. He would leave full lipped slow kisses, almost sticky as he trailed them up to that soft spot just behind her ear. He attacked it as his lips reached it, kissing and sucking the skin, dragging his teeth over it and nipping. “Mhm” she purred, giggling at his touch despite it turning into a moan halfway through, her nails clawing down his scalp. “God, you’ve got me so fucking wet…” “Good,” he whispered against her ear before nipping gently at the lobe. But he slowly turned and walked to the edge of the bed, sitting her there as he reached down to unzip the back of the dress she was wearing. With one swift tug he pulled it over her head, dropping it beside the bed as he knelt down and slipped her heels off, one then the other, running his hands up her thighs as he watched her. “You know they say when a woman’s lingerie matches, you didn’t get lucky, she planned to fuck you,” he said letting his fingertips move up her hips and over the deep crimson panties, up to the matching bra. It wasn’t exactly lingerie, a bit of sheer material and some floral patterns mixed in but all the same she made it sexy. “I think in this case, you should consider yourself lucky,” she said leaning down, resting her fingertips under his chin and lifting it before kissing him again. This kiss was soft and short, and she spoke against his lips with a moment, “Now take off your pants so I can see if you’re wasting my time or not,” When she said that, he laughed, slowly standing up then, “Mn, well get there but you’re going to have to be patient,” he said reaching behind her and undoing her bra now, pulling it off as well, before reaching down to tug off her panties. A soft gasp left her lips as she sort of fell back, letting him toss that fabric aside, before sitting up on her elbows to look at him. “What, like what you see?” she asked before sitting up and then standing, reaching up to tug him down again, “Of course I do, I have taste,” he said resting his hands on her hips before pushing her back onto the bed again, this time moving over her as he kissed her again. That kiss was broken soon by him though as he reached one hand up, spitting on his fingers and sliding that hand between them. Moments later his fingers found her slit, and he pushed two fingers into her, slowly massaging her inner walls at first. Soft moans left her lips almost instantly as one hand tangled back in his hair the other hand sort of clawed along his arm. Her legs fell open for him, and her body almost naturally arched against his touch, “That feels good,” she encouraged, her breathing a soft pant. “Good,” his voice was a hot breath against her neck, his lips dragging up the curve and up to her temple, nuzzling his face against her as his free hand roamed her body, touching and feeling her. It was almost overwhelming for her, the heat of his body, tenderness of his lips and those fingers inside of her that hooked just into the perfect spot. Slowly those fingers got faster, rougher, the heat already beginning to bubble in her stomach, dangerously close to overflowing already, “Oh…fuck,” she whispered, those moans of hers turning into a whine now as her nails dragged against his shoulder and back, “Oh, fuck Shawn, that’s good,” her hips didn’t grind up to him anymore, instead just staying arched up off the bed. “You’re not going to cum already are you?” his voice was husky but it was condescending, “I thought you would put up more of a fight than that,” The way he spoke didn’t stop him from nuzzling into her neck, nipping and kissing that tender skin as he worked those fingers faster inside of her, his thumb now brushing over her clit, which only served to make her hips jerk against his touch. She was whining constantly now, cursing under her breath, her body jerking and twitching as her nails nearly drew blood from his skin. Moments later though one of her hands shot to cover her mouth as she almost screamed against it. Just as quickly as her hand moved though, his hand grabbed it, pulling it away from her mouth, “Don’t you dare,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “If I’m making you scream you fucking scream for me,” his fingers moved rougher inside of her now. And scream she did, her body jerking as she reached her orgasm, soaking his fingers and his wrist, as well as the covers between them. Her voice trembled almost like a dry sob with each noise she made, her hips rolling against his touch while she came down from it, humming in the afterglow of that pleasure. “Good girl,” he said in a whisper, kissing down her neck and over her chest, leaving kisses and licks along her breasts, nipping her skin gently while he did. But his eyes were up and locked on her as her chest heaved and she did her best to relax, her fingers tangling into his curls, just crawling along his scalp, gently scratching at him while her hips sort of shifted. It was like she was squirming to find a spot she was comfortable in again. “What?” he said after a moment, his chin between her breasts his eyes up and locked on her face, “Are you still worked up? Do you want something else? You want me to fuck you maybe?” he whispered, kissing his way up to her chin and brushing his nose and lips against hers, “I want you to say please, you’ve been such a fucking brat all night, and now you’re going to ask politely,” She gave a huff at his statement, looking at him with defiant eyes, but she sighed before nodding, “Fine, please,” As she spoke, he moved back up onto his knees, undoing his jeans, and hooking his thumbs in the sides of his underwear, pulling both down at the same time, and kicking them off as he kept his eyes locked on hers. A coy grin found his lips as her eyes moved up and down his body, her mouth slowly falling open in shock, “Please fuck me,” she whispered before looking back up at him. “Is it big enough for you?” he asked, giving her SUCH a smirk. Despite the fact that she felt her cheeks heat up, she did her best to play it off, even as he moved back over the top of her, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said not breaking that eye contact. “You don’t?” he asked, laughing softly as he lightly pressed his hips against hers, shifting ever so slightly so that his cock slipped between her thighs and slid up and down her slit as he rolled his hips. That already elicited a soft moan from her but his hand slid behind her, tangling back in her hair and jerking it hard, enough to make her gasp and whine softly, “My cock,” he said in a stern voice, “You think my cock is big enough for that greedy fucking pussy hm?” She nodded instantly, whining softly, “Yes, yes it’s big enough, I want it so bad please stop making me wait,” she in a quiet voice, despite the fact that her hands were almost pulling at his hips now. “That’s what I thought,” he said in a softer voice, giving her a smile as he reached down, taking a hold of his cock and moving so that it gently pushed into her, giving a soft moan of his own as that tight heat swallowed him. It took the two of them a moment to find a rhythm that they both matched to. He began slower so that he wouldn’t hurt her, and yet she instantly pressed against his hips, almost like begging for more. Soon though he was thrusting into her at a steady pace and his hand slid up her body, wrapping around her throat. He didn’t really choke her, more just rest his hand there, giving her another knowing grin as her hand wrapped around his wrist. “Choke me,” she whispered and with a nod he tightened his grip on her throat. “Of course sweetheart,” he cooed in a slightly condescending tone but leaning in and kissing her forehead as his hips rolled against hers. For a split second he could see the whites of her eyes as they fluttered and her mouth fell open. He could feel her tighten against his cock as well, clenching and squeezing as her body tightened against him. The waves of pleasure radiating up through her body as she wrapped a leg around his waist. It was so much better than she wanted to admit it was, the way he moved his hips was insane it was like he knew exactly where to aim. Each push into her made his cock drag against the most sensitive spots inside of her. That alone was enough to take her breath away, but the way his fingers pressed against her throat was magical. She could breathe, easier than she was used to with boys who tried this before. But her mind felt like a haze, almost like she couldn’t move, like she had to lay there and take his cock any way he wanted to give it to her, not that she had any complaints. “Does it feel good baby doll?” he whispered against her jaw, “You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” his voice was still cocky, his lips pulled into a smirk as he reached his free hand between them, brushing over her clit while he kept thrusting into her. This earned him a yelp though, her hips jerking up against him as she arched her body, her head falling back so that his lips dragged along her neck. “You feel…so fucking good,” she whispered, “That cock is so fucking deep baby, you’re amazing,” she panted, looking at him the best she could. “I’m glad,” his voice was genuine now as he dragged his lips and nose up her cheek, kissing at her cheek softly, speaking there despite how rough he thrust into her now, “You’re so wet, it feels incredible…” he panted softly, “You’re so beautiful right now, the way your lips fall open when you want to speak but can’t, you look like a fucking angel with my cock inside of you,” When he said that, she laughed softly, it was a worked up laugh and mixed in with her moans, “I knew you were bad,” she gasped, her lips falling open again as his cock brushed that sweet spot. But within seconds he slipped out of her, “The kindest demon you’ll ever know,” he cooed, his hands flipping her. His arms were strong and he handled her almost as if she were a doll, tossing her around was nothing for him. It was all so fast, he had her on her stomach, pulling her hips up so she was on her hands and knees. Strong hands pushed her back to form her into the arch he wanted. Seconds later he was pushing back into her, making her cry out at the sudden intrusion. “Oh god, it’s fucking deeper like this,” she cried out, arching tighter and pressing back against his hips. “That’s a good thing right?” he asked with a laugh, but her hands clawed at the sheets beside her head, “God, yes, it’s fucking amazing, you’re so fucking good,” she whined, her voice almost trembling as she felt his hands rest on her hips. He had control of their motions now, pulling her back into his thrusts as he slammed up into her each time. He did keep her bouncing, body shaking the bed moving with them as he set that pace. Soon his hand ran up her back, tangling into her hair and pulling it back like a leash, earning himself another gasping moan from her. He could hear her on the verge of sobbing now, whispering things like ‘its so good’ and ‘please yes’ under her breath while she did. “That pussy mine tonight baby?” he purred, leaning in to kiss along the back of her shoulder. Almost as soon as he asked, she half sobbed a soft ‘yes’ her voice vibrating it out as he nuzzled against her. “You’re such a sweet girl,” he whispered in her hair, resting his lips there, “Are you going to let me cum inside of that hot pussy baby? Are you going to let me fill you up with this thick load?” his voice was ragged now, despite the gentle way he nuzzled against her. She could already feel herself getting closer, and with the way he spoke to her, she whined, reaching one hand under her, massaging her clit in a fast desperate way. “Yes,” she whined out again, voice still shaking, “You’re going to make me cum Shawn, please, please don’t stop, I want you to cum for me so bad, fill me up,” her voice was nearly a sob now, and the way he almost growled against her ear when she spoke…that was enough. Seconds later she was reaching her second orgasm, her body clenching so tight against his as she screamed. This time it wasn’t muffled or stifled, but it did fade into a pleasured sob moments later, soft ‘yes’s trailing it out as she quieted down. Her hips rolled against him while she rode it out, but after a few more rough thrusts he was spilling into her. His own moan a gasp, low and hungry as he just tried to push his hips tighter against her. She could feel the way his cock throbbed inside of her, and the way that warmth seemed to drain into her stomach, running down her thighs as he slipped out of her. As soon as his hands were off of her body, she collapsed against the bed, slowly moving and crawling up to rest against one of the pillows. However she positioned her body so she was looking up at him, doing her best to ignore the shit eating grin on his face. “That was hot, you’re so fucking sexy,” he panted after a moment, leaning down and brushing her hair out of her face as he kissed her temple. “Do you want a drink now?” he asked quietly. “Nuh-uh,” she whispered, but her hand rested on his, before moving to hold his wrist, “Lay with me,” she said quietly, “Let me pretend you’ll be here in the morning,” Despite the fact that he moved and rested beside her, he laughed a little, “Did you forget this is my hotel room, why wouldn’t I be here in the morning?” he asked shaking his head, “You should go use the bathroom, right?” he said in a very paternal kind of way. But she just wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he fingers massaged his scalp through his curls again, “Stop bullshitting me, everyone here knows who you are, who you work for,” her tone wasn’t mean, it wasn’t mad or even accusing, just soft and sleepy. All the same, the room fell silent once she’d spoken. “Then why did you do this?” he asked quietly, watching her smile as her eyes closed in a sleepy way. “Because you wanted me to, and no matter how much I knew I should be running the other way, you’re so damn hard to say no to,” she cooed as her fingernails gently scratched at the nape of his neck. “I thought you didn’t like that,” he said in a teasing way, leaning in and letting his nose brush hers. “Mn, I wish I could have kept pretending that I didn’t,” she said softly. After that he didn’t speak, his hand stroking her hair as her nails lazily scratched at him, playing with his curls until she fell asleep. Honestly, he was on the verge of falling asleep himself, until he heard the familiar vibration of his phone. Slowly he pulled himself from her, careful to not wake her up, sighing heavily as he walked to his jeans. Taking his phone out of the pocket he swiped up to see his notifications, despite already knowing what it was. His eyes scanned the single text message, ‘he’s ready for your pickup.’  “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, sighing again as his eyes fell on the girl in his bed. Quietly he got dressed, pulling on each piece silently, but when he got to his jacket, he glanced back at her before just resting the jacket on the edge of the bed. She could have that, if she didn’t hate him, he decided, an apology of sorts. Once dressed he slipped his bag out of the closet, sliding that gun in the back of his jeans, pulling his shirt over it to hide it. Lastly, he walked to the side table in the room, over to the pen and paper that was always left there for guests. He took a moment to write his cellphone number, and just a little note that read ‘Call me, señorita ♡’ just tossing that note pad on top of his jacket before he slipped out of the room. And he did go by check out, paying for the room before he got back on that motorcycle once again.

[skyfallensoldier]

Mobile Navigation || Rules & Mun ↓

DISCLAIMER: I just want to note here at the beginning that while I am considering this RP blog to be historically based, i.e. remaining true to the time period and overall details of John Laurens' biographical information and whatnot, I do not consider myself a historically accurate blog, not entirely. Historical fiction is a well known genre of literature and many, MANY creative liberties are taken within that genre. Think of this blog like you would if you saw an Anastasia Romanov blog. She's dead, we know she didn't survive, and she's been dead a long-ass time; so has Laurens. People still have included her in many works of fiction, even after her body was identified and it was proven she did not survive her family's massacre. I saw a romance book a couple of months ago where she survived that was recently published. Historical fiction, while a controversial thing at times, is a legitimate form of literature.

You don't have to tell me if you think John isn't acting exactly like the real man himself would have, I know that. I'm not going to call John my 'perfect sunshine boy cinnamon roll' or dismiss the privilege he was raised on due to his father, I'm aware he was a real person who had his own personality, virtues and prejudices. I won't deny that while he was certainly a progressive thinking man for the time he grew up in he definitely still had racist thoughts and actions that were indicative of his upbringing. But I'm not on here to debate modern, real life politics, or get into arguments about whether he was a good abolitionist or not. At the end of the day, this is still a hobby for me, and I'm writing for fun.

Basically, don't take it too seriously. I'm a 21st century bisexual woman writing from the POV of an 18th century (likely gay) male soldier, the way I write him is obviously not going to be a perfect representation of who he was. I know he wasn't an amazing, perfect person, but I've still chosen to write a fictionalized version of him for my own entertainment. Please try to respect that; thank you.

Mun Stuff

Name: Luna Gender: Female (She/Her or They/Them) D.o.B: July 23rd, 1996 Age: 24 Nationality: Canadian Sexuality: Bisexual Timezone: Eastern Time (US & Canada) Activity: Daily BIOGRAPHY (SORT OF)

Hello, there! You can call me Luna! I've been interested in writing ever since I first got the internet when I was 14 and discovered FanFiction.Net and now I'm an aspiring author and Roleplay enthusiast. If you include acting/talking out DnD like games with friends then I've been 'roleplaying' since the fifth grade, but I like to think there's always room for improvement. If you ever want to chat I'd love to make a new friend or plot out a roleplay, so don't be afraid to shoot me an ask or send me a private message. Just because my muse can be a jackass doesn't mean I am! I’m a huge advocate for mental health, and if you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t ever hesitate to reach out! Some of my hobbies including literature and writing (of course), digging into mythology from various cultures, practicing solitary eclectic paganism/new age spirituality, drinking tea, and collecting crystals/minerals.

Please note that for the sake of disclosure, I am considered ‘Neurodivergent’, in that I suffer from ADHD, diagnosed at about age six, and have Anxiety and Depression which are directly tied to it. This doesn’t often effect my life on here, but I sometimes have an unpredictable sleep schedule (stay up all night, sleep in late into the morning, etc). I’m usually quick to reply to threads for the most part! I work every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm to 7pm in addition to odd jobs here and there, during which time I won’t have access to the Internet. The rest of the week I’m on and off all day basically, so you can feel free to contact me any time.

RP Style

⭐️ Please use basic spelling/grammar/punctuation when you RP with me. I'm not a drill sergeant about these kinds of things, I know that typos happen, and if you have a vision problem or such we can absolutely find a way to work around that, I also have no problem roleplaying with people whose first language is not English, so that's totally fine and I’m happy to accomodate in whatever way I can, but it does make it a little difficult to play with you if I don't know what you're trying to say. For this reason I prefer if you not use any text shorthand (lol, idk, brb, jk, etc) unless our muses are messaging each other. Using it in the tags is fine.

⭐️ I roleplay Laurens in a past-tense 3rd Person Point of View (think story-telling format), and generally I don't use icons or text formatting unless I notice my partner does, then I will try to match their style (for example if you use icons and small-text, I will try to do the same, though because formatting isn't possible on mobile, any mobile replies might take longer to be posted than if I were on my laptop). If you have any issues with how I'm writing or need me to adjust my style for any reason don't be afraid to ask.

Contact

⭐️ If you spam me with messages over and over again about something I haven't replied to, chances are I'll drop the thread. I don't mind being reminded because I know Tumblr's notifications are notoriously unreliable sometimes, and humans can forget/lose things, but if you keep poking at me after I've acknowledged you the first and second time, I won't be pleased. Things can get busy on here, or in real life, or sometimes you're just lacking muse for that particular thread, y'know? It doesn't mean I hate you and don't want to RP, I'm almost always up for plotting, but muse tends to fluctuate.

⭐️ My ‘Discord’ is available to mutuals upon request. I don't mind roleplaying on there if Tumblr is being glitchy or you're just not feeling up to formatted/heavily plotted threads, sometimes Discord is fun in that you can do immediate replies without needing the effort of putting icons and formatting into it. I also have a Kik but I never use it. I don't RP in Tumblr's IMs, that's purely for OOC interaction.

⭐️ I also occasionally stream movies/TV shows in group chats or play “in character” Cards Against Humanity game nights, Among Us, etc. If you’re interested, lemme know, I’m always looking for more people to hang out with!

Important

I have no actual triggers that I'm aware of, although snakes do creep me out (mostly shots of them coiled up or images of their pupils), but there are some things I will not roleplay personally for comfort reasons:

⭐️ Cannibalism. You can mention it, for example I won't freak out if someone tells my muse that somebody else ate a person (he might, assuming its not a Supernatural type verse), but I won't RP him engaging in cannibalism, not even in AUs (blood-drinking vampires are fine). I'm just not sure I could stomach writing about eating people. I managed to watch Hannibal, barely, but writing about it? Nah. I can handle lots of horror, gore and disturbing content but not this. Sorry.

⭐ Incest/Pedophilia. I do not SEXUALLY ship with characters under the age of 18. John is not attracted to children, and would never consider sleeping with someone much younger than him.

⭐ I will not write anything sexual with muns who are under 18 years old, even if your muse is an adult. I'll still ROLEPLAY with you if you are under 18 but probably no younger than 16 just because things tend to get explicit on my blogs and I don't want to be accused of corrupting the youth with my foul language and weird opinions, lol. Seriously though, this blog covers a lot of dark subjects and while I’m all for minors exploring that safely through writing rather than in real life, some people aren’t comfortable with interacting with under age people for legal or personal reasons, please respect that.

⭐ Necrophilia. Just... no. Vampire threads don't count, as they're undead and not 'dead dead'.

⭐ Rape. I won't write it with you. I'm okay with mentions of rape, with rape/sexual assault survivor/recovery plots, and even with one character intervening to rescue another from an attempted sexual assault (if an attempted assault does occur, it will be thoroughly tagged and under a cut). I'm fully open to discussing rape recovery/trauma plots as those are things that happen in real life, and it can be interesting to explore how a character reacts to trauma. But anything else is a no-go, sorry!

⭐ Please be aware that I write Laurens as a gay man. However! Because of the time period, violent homophobia and social stigma, he has slept with women before and may be seen flirting with or referencing relationships with women in the past. He is still gay, and still uninterested in being with women long term, he's simply closeted to all but a few individuals. So, unless your muse is Martha Manning (who Laurens DOES love in a manner, and he always will), shipping with female characters on here most likely isn't going to happen unless it's heavily plotted/developed and part of an overall plot, and you understand that it will not be a conventional sexual relationship. I'm sorry if that disappoints you but I've read Laurens as a gay male for so long I have trouble seeing him any other way.

⭐ I will not roleplay slavery plots. This is not up for debate. Roleplaying a highly fictionalized version of a long dead real person who existed during a troubling time is one thing, but I draw the line at that. For this reason, while I'll happily play with non-white muses, muses using non white faceclaims, and crossovers with characters of all sorts, I'll have to decline playing with any muse claiming to actually be writing slavery. There’s a difference between, say, roleplaying a character like Daenerys, a fictional character who was technically a slave-bride sold by her brother, and writing actual slavery from a very real, horrible time period. Slave ownership will of course be mentioned on this blog, that's unavoidable, but just like the mention of rape may happen on this blog from time to time, it will be in reference to a past event or speaking about the subject in general, not roleplaying a scene of it. Please respect this rule, I was hesitant to make this blog at first, because I know it makes some people uncomfortable, but I won't glorify such a horrible real thing that happened to so many people.

Exclusives/Mains

Just a head's up, unless I develop a bunch of chemistry with a particular portrayal of a muse I'm not likely to agree to being exclusives with anyone, unless perhaps it's a very niche or divergent character that has formed a good relationship of some sort with John and I'd have trouble interacting with other versions of that muse. For major characters I just feel it would be unfair to say no to someone who I click with in every other way, solely because I have already befriended someone else writing that character.

I will, however, discuss becoming mains with someone whom I've either developed or plotted out detailed storylines/interactions with regarding our specific portrayals of our characters. This means that I tend to reply to them quickly when I'm online, or may make little gifts (moodboards, aesthetic things, mini ficlets, whatever) for them unprompted, have a verse dedicated just to them, etc. Even if it seems like we haven't done much on Tumblr, there may be a lot of off-site development on Discord or whatnot that led to us plotting out intricate stories for our muses.

Current Mains:

Alexander Hamilton - @quillborn​

DO

⭐️ Send private messages.

⭐️ Send my character asks/starters/memes.

⭐️ Tag me in things.

⭐️ Ask to plot or ship.

⭐️ Ask for angst, fluff, etc.

⭐️ Submit things to me & my muse.

⭐️ Do crack and other ridiculous things with me!

⭐️ Like my RP threads.

⭐️ Like my personal posts.

⭐️ Comment on my personal/OOC posts (if you want to).

⭐️ Comment on my crack threads.

⭐️ Instant Message (IM) me if you'd like to talk, whether we're friends already or not!

DON'T

⭐️ Send hateful messages to me about other people and especially my mutuals; doesn't count if it's about the muse and not the person playing them, however. Also, if I’ve got beef with someone for whatever reason, don’t harass them/send hate to them on my behalf, please. I don’t condone anonymous abuse, attacking others, or harassment. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself, I promise.

⭐️ Introduce yourself with ‘wanna ship?’ For one, I prefer if we’ve at least started a roleplay together, or have spoken OOC. Auto shipping doesn’t always work out and I hate promising people something only to realize there’s zero chemistry, because then I feel like I’m letting them down.

⭐️ Come into my inbox with just ‘wanna rp?’ and that’s it. Please at least have some idea of what you want to roleplay, it’s not very fun when someone approaches you to RP but then doesn’t offer up any suggestions at all. Remember, you are always free to send me memes, whether we’re mutuals or not, and hit me up for whatever plot you think might interest me! I want to hear about it!

⭐️ Spam me with "reminder" messages if I've already acknowledged you the first few times.

⭐️ Reblog my RP threads if you're not a participant in them.

⭐️ Send me anonymous OOC hate. Hate for Laurens is fine, it's just another form of roleplay.

⭐️ Kill off my character or severely injure/maim my character without permission or having plotted something involving that with me first.

⭐️ Follow me if you're a porn blog. I don't mind blogs that post NSFW content, or smut a lot, etc. I mean blogs that aren't for RP and are literally just a normal looking blog until you click on it and the header and first twenty posts are hardcore nudity and porn. I hate those things.

⭐️ Shame my ships.

⭐️ Complain about my tagging. I put my smut under a 'read more' without exception and tag them as "NSFW //" with two dashes. Things that are not necessarily graphic but still have sexual undertones go under "Suggestive //". I use these tags to avoid attracting attention from porn blogs and porn bots that track certain key words, as such I do not tag my content with "Smut" or trigger words such as "dick, oral, anal, nudity, etc", please block my NSFW and Suggestive tags if you're uncomfortable. Triggery subjects (mentions of rape, animal abuse, torture, mental illness) will be tagged under the name of said trigger with a space and two dashes, example: "Self Harm //", “Suicidal Ideation //” or "PTSD //".

⭐️ Godmod my character. If you’re not sure what is/isn’t okay, come talk to me! I don’t bite! If you’re looking for an example of god mod behavior, here: “X lunged at Laurens, taking him by surprise, and hit him square in the nose, causing blood to spurt.” It might not seem like a big deal but it means that you decided how your character’s actions affected my muse, and not only that, didn’t give him a chance to dodge or anything. Not cool.

⭐️ Ship with me without permission (sending in shippy asks is A-Ok if you're interested in exploring a ship between our muses, I'm talking about things like claiming that our muses are in a relationship without discussing it with me, referencing dates or sexual acts that never happened, etc. I ship mainly with chemistry otherwise things get boring fast.

⭐️ Assume/act like our characters know each other/are closely connected (friends/family/lovers) if we've never discussed it unless it is established in canon/history. This especially goes for original characters. I'm open to Laurens forming deep relationships with OCs obviously, but those have to be developed in character, not just assumed from the first interaction.

⭐️ Attempt to roleplay with me if you are not a roleplay blog/or if you're just trying to RP as "yourself." I don't do Character X Reader imagines stuff. I don't RP with 'fan' accounts, only RP blogs. You can still send asks so long as you're not trying to initiate an RP scenario. For example, asking Laurens what his hobbies are, asking for a blessing etc? That's fine. Spamming me with different actions "you" are talking to Laurens is weird. Stop that. I will also not RP with blogs that claim to roleplay as real life people, such as Markiplier, that's super creepy. This does NOT apply to "historical fiction" roleplay (obviously since that's what this blog is), which is considered its own genre of literature. I'm talking about the above where people will 'roleplay' as real life, currently alive people like YouTube celebrities and ship them with their friends, even if they've made it clear that they're uncomfortable with it. 

⭐️ Get angry at me for doing something you don't like if you don't even have a rules page for me to go by. It's not fair; you can't expect your partners to just read your mind and magically know how you feel. If something bothers you let me know, I’ll make a note about it so I avoid it during our interactions!

⭐️ Use me as a meme resource blog without ever interacting with me. I don't require "reblog karma" for you to follow me, partners are more than welcome to reblog from me, but if we never interact and I just occasionally see you reblog fifteen posts from my meme tag and then disappear again I'm not gonna be happy. Go to the source or to an archived blog no longer getting notifications, please!

⭐️ Reblog my Meta/Headcanons. If they're from a different blog it's fine but the ones I've personally written are for MY portrayal of Laurens. I work hard on most of my stuff and I'd prefer if you didn't reblog it, not because you aren't allowed to have the same headcanon ideas as me, but because then it ends up getting liked or reblogged by lots of other people, spamming my notifications, etc.

OCs & Multimuses

I love OCs and multi-muse blogs (I have my own multimuse sideblog over at @historyremembers, which has other 18th century characters including the Hamilton children and some OCs), so feel free to interact! That being said, please have an about page of some sort on your blog. I can't follow back blogs that have absolutely no information available regarding their character(s). I don't RP with OC children of Laurens. This is nothing personal, but I'm fairly certain he was gay in real life and prefer to play him that way, and he only had one child - who he never even got to meet - in real life, so it just wouldn't make sense to me for him to have other kids running around unless he'd adopted some. If you're a multimuse, I may not follow you back if I'm only familiar with two of your muses if you have a blog of fifteen characters, simply because I'd prefer to keep my dash clean and only have characters/fandoms I'm familiar with on it. I'll still RP with you if you have a character I'm interested in! I just might not follow back if the majority of your characters I do not know, I apologize for this.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, congrats! I know it couldn’t be easy (my ADHD brain was frustrated trying to just write all this up) but it’s necessary so there’s not misunderstandings on what I am/am not willing to RP. I won’t ask for a password since I trust most people to have the courtesy to at least skim the rules of those they want to RP with. 

Have a nice day!