#but he knows how keir is. he understands. so he pushes it down

[shadowdaddies]

Hi! Idk if you still take request or not. If not just ignore me. Anyway, can I request a poly fic with Nessian x shy reader please?

Hi! Yes I'm accepting requests, thank you for sending this one in💜

A/N: this is shy reader but also introverted reader, featuring bestie Az because I know he'd understand too💅

As Long as I Have You

poly!Nessian x Reader

warnings: Keir🤢

Inhaling a shaky breath, you smoothed out the skirts of your dress and inspected yourself in the mirror. The deep cut, midnight black dress shimmered in the faelight - a beautiful gown indeed, but a far cry from your typical style. No, this was the style of the Hewn City.

You had yet to venture to the Court of Nightmares - your soft, quiet nature at odds with the cruelty of that place. Your mates understood your aversion to the harsh side of the Night Court - in fact, it was one of the things they loved most about you. Nesta loved the quiet nights reading at home with you, while Cassian adored how you clung to his side for comfort at social events. They were incredibly protective over you, so while you felt comforted that they would not let anything bad happen to you at this Court of Nightmares ball, you were still extremely nervous.

Nesta appeared behind you, admiring your reflection in the mirror as she wrapped her arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You look beautiful, love.” You blushed at her praise, watching how she smiled at your reaction to her words, gaze turning hungry as the faint scent of arousal traced through the air.

A deep laugh sounded from the doorway, Cassian leaning against the frame as he watched the two of you, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes drank in sight of you and Nesta together. “As much as I would love to stay and see what happens next, we are due in court.” His eyes turned soft as he looked at you, giving an encouraging smile. “We’ll be with you the whole time, sweetheart.”

You took his arm, Nesta on his other as the three of you made your way towards the ballroom. The hallways of graphic artworks and beastly sculptures only heightened your nerves, your grip on Cassian’s arm tightening. He looked down at you sympathetically. “You don’t have to go, angel. I can make an excuse to Rhys and Feyre if you want to go back to the room.” You shook your head. “I’m fine. It’s just the nerves, I don’t know how I will get along with these people.” Cassian barked out a laugh at that. “Sweetheart, you are too good to get along with these people. Just be yourself - you don’t owe it to anyone to impress them. We’re with you, and we love you,” he murmured, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.

Nesta reached a hand around Cassian to squeeze your arm, and you were flooded with feelings of comfort. Arriving at the doors to the ballroom, they were pushed open to reveal a grand dance floor - pillars carved with night-blooming flowers lined the walls, completely carved in reflective obsidian stone. It was frighteningly beautiful. 

You felt a presence to your right, a shock of nerves as you prepared yourself for the first smalltalk of the evening. To your relief, it was Azriel who stood at your side. Giving you a soft smile, he murmured lowly so that no one else could hear, “if you get tired of those two dragging you around to meet everyone, you can come stand with me for some peace and quiet. Most people here know to steer clear of me.” You laughed softly, murmuring a “thank you” back to him. With that, Azriel gave you a wink, fading into the shadows and leaving you back with your mates - who were now leading you towards the tables of food.

Taking a glass of faewine, you turned to observe the sea of people surrounding you when a male with blonde hair approached you. His eyes raked over your form shamelessly as he purred, “hello, there. I don’t believe I have seen you here before.” You smiled, nerves overwhelming as you fumbled for words. You hadn’t expected anyone to be so forward. Blushing, you responded, “Oh- I, um... I haven’t been here before. Just here for the ball.” He flashed a smile that had you feeling queasy, when a familiar hand wrapped around your waist.

Nesta pulled you close to her. “Yes, Keir. She’s here for the ball. With her mates.” Your eyes widened as you realized who you were speaking to, only feeling comforted when you felt Cassian’s presence towering over you, Keir forced to look up into the Illyrian’s eyes. You had to admit the steward had nerve, sneering up at your mate before looking to you. “Pity. I would have expected you to keep better company than the Illyrian brute.” Your eyes widened, rage filling you as you prepared to lash out at Keir for insulting your mate. 

Nesta beat you to it, looking down her nose at Keir as she asked in a condescending tone, “and I suppose a weasel like you would be what you deign as ‘better’?” She gave him no time to answer before scoffing and pulling you away. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him. Just our luck that he would be the first person you meet tonight.” With a nervous laugh, you shyly admitted your discomfort. “I think I might have had my fill of meeting members of the Court of Nightmares for this evening. I’d rather enjoy the rest of the night with the two of you.” 

Cassian pulled you in close, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sweetheart.” With a smile, Nesta glanced towards the dance floor and back to you. “One dance?” she asked with hopeful eyes. You nodded, eager to show off your mate. She took your hand, dragging you enthusiastically to the floor where you danced until you were exhausted, handing Nesta off to Cassian as they continued dancing.

You leaned against the cool obsidian walls, Azriel appearing in the shadows next to you with a drink in hand. “Here,” he said, handing it to you as he watched over the crowd. You thanked him, eagerly hydrating as you quietly observed the event with him. “You alright?” Az asked after awhile, cocking an eyebrow as he seemed to assess your state. You nodded. “I’m good. I love having mates who push me to meet new people, and go to events...” Azriel smirked. “Just not events like this one.” You laughed softly. “Exactly.”

It was then that Nesta and Cassian joined you, Nesta pulling you in for a hug as you rested your head on her shoulder. “What do you say we get out of here?” she murmured against your hair. You nodded, bidding Az goodbye as you exited the ballroom with your two mates. 

Once you were away from the prying eyes of courtiers, Cassian swept you into his arms, kissing down your neck before he pulled away. He and Nesta exchanged a glance as they each took one of your hands in theirs. “Nes, I think our girl had enough of being social for awhile, don’t you think?” Nesta hummed, her soft hand stroking yours as she pretended to ponder Cassian’s question. “I do. I think a few days in bed aught to make up for it,” she whispered, leaning in as her teeth tugged on your earlobe. 

Cassian didn’t hesitate to throw you over his shoulder at that, and you giggled, thinking you could handle another visit to the Court of Nightmares as long as you had your perfect mates there with you.

[shallyne]

SJM Crackshipmonth: Royalty AU

Leaving You

Day twenty-two for @sjmcrackshipmonth ship: Mor x Lysandra.

Words: 729

TW: implication of abuse

Mor's father doesn't approve of the close friendship between Mor and Lysandra, so he decides to send his daughter away. Mor makes her own decision regarding her future

Mor and Lysandra were laying together in a hammock, limbs tangled as they looked up at the night sky. Neither spoke, just enjoying the other's company. They laid there since dusk, the air already grew colder as fall approached but no one dared to move. It was their last hours before Mor's parents ripped them apart, putting Mor on the other side of the continent and they wanted to spend every possible moment together. Mor's dress was damp from Lysandra's tears. Mor tried to keep it together but she miserably failed, her own tears sliding down her cheeks.

They both had met when they were twelve, at a gathering where their parents had sat them beside each other. She remembered how awkward it was at first but when Mor had complimented her dress, they both got along very well. They often sneaked around, getting scolded for not behaving like princesses but they never stopped. At fifteen, Mor had confessed her love for Lysandra and after the initial shock, she had smiled brightly at Mor. That was the most beautiful thing Mor had ever witnessed. Since then, they dated in secret, for almost six years now. Neither of their parents would approve of their relationship, that much they knew without a doubt. They were princesses, they were to be wed someday. Mor had heard her parents talk about the possibility of arranging a marriage with the eldest son of Beron Vanserra. She had never felt such horror as she did then, that's what she thought at least. Until her father announced he would send Mor away because he did not approve of her close friendship with Lysandra. Ironic, he wanted her to make friends with other princesses back then.

Of course he had threatened Mor again to disown her if she didn't listen, strip her from her title and throw her into the streets. He had always made sure that Mor felt a primal terror at his words, he made sure since she was a child. But now, as Mor looked up at the night sky, she didn't feel that terror of being disowned. She felt terror at losing Lysandra. She didn't want her family, she hated her family, all Mor wanted was her girlfriend. They would never be able to live a life if they stayed like this. Mor took a shaking breath, which made Lysandra look up, her green eyes still lined with silver.

"I'm not going." Mor said.

Lysandra shook her head, "Don't be ridiculous, Mor, you know what Keir said–"

"I won't go." Mor insisted, "I don't want this life. I don't want this castle, this family, this title. It means nothing to me."

Lysandra sat up, the hammock groaning as she shifted her weight. "What is that supposed to mean? What are you going to do? Where will you go?"

"I don't know, but I will find a way." Mor told her, pushing herself up, then stroked Lysandra's cheek with her thumb.

Lysandra put her hand over Mor's, leaning into the touch "What about me?" She asked quietly.

Mor swallowed, "I don't want to ask something of you that you're not ready for. I understand if you feel safer staying in the castle–"

"No." Lysandra interrupted, she sighed when a cold wind breezed through her hair. "I– It stopped being a safe place a long time ago."

Mor's hand trembled, "What does that mean?"

"I want to come with you. I would trade this life in an instant to be with you Mor. Every luxury for a moment with you. I'd even leave all my dresses if it meant being with you."

Mor laughed softly, "Are you sure? I need you to be really sure of this. If you have a doubt, any doubt,"

"No," Lysandra whispered, pressing a light kiss on Mor's mouth. "No doubt at all. I want this."

Mor nodded and smiled. Oh, how she loved Lysandra. Pressing a kiss to Lysandra's palm, she murmured, "We need to leave soon. Getting as far away before they catch us." because even if her father threatened to throw her out, she knew he would do anything but that. He'd find worse punishments.

They were long out of the city when Mor's maid entered her bedroom, finding it empty. No one ever found them, but they certainly found the place where they grew old together.

Taglist: @timesconvert

[luxmaeastra]

Night had fallen into mourning. Nkytos was gone, he didn't die in the war like Queen Nyxia had. He'd died in his sleep as the Blood plague sapped the last of his energy.

Viren let his father's hand fall back onto the bed. He'd worn long clothes but he could feel the glow of silver up and down his skin. He didn't need to look in the mirror to know his Violet eyes had flecks of silver now.

He turned from the room, walking blindly through the Moonstone Palace. He didn't know if anyone spoke to him. He was sure someone would stop him if they needed him.

He found Keir easy enough drinking in their father's study - his now wasn't it? He swallowed this all suddenly felt too claustrophobic. He couldn't stay in this home, all the memories of his siblings playing together. Of he and Keir hiding in this room to see how long it took for their father to find them.

All the times his father would call him here to be reprimanded. All the times he refused to say what Acacius did to him during his tutoring sessions.

Viren crossed to the window where Keir stood. He looked out the same window.

"Father is dead, part of the Endless Hunt now. Do we do the honors of his blood or our mother's?"

That's the question that had plagued him. His father had been proud of his heritage, of his blood. He'd helped guide so many, he deserved to be sent off the Asteri way. To have his body burned, to have his soul free to wander or become part of this world. But with the war now raging would that be doable?

He hadn't meant to leave Sarai alone. He reached for her now tugging on the bond.

Are you alright? I didn't mean to leave you with all the Wolves. I - how are the children? I - Keir is with me.

He wasn't too worried, she would be fine - she was born for this as he was. As long as they had each other it would all be okay.

It was the end of an Era, the end of their childhood. The loss of their mother had not been as bittersweet as this, her death came during the war, an unexpected nasty surprise by the environment it was in seemed to help numb the pain that would have run through the family like wildfire. Though did their father really recover from that loss? Even as he had given his attention to the grandchildren that followed, he couldn’t help but not the loss of something within his father.

He had always thought maybe the loss of their mother would have killed him, but knowing it was the very Blood plague made it worse. He chugged back the blood wine, chasing whatever numbing effect it could have. Feeling the shift in powers in their household caused nausea to bubble up from his stomach, the coldness that shifted around him with the loss of another parent only weighed heavier upon him.

Shielding his thoughts and feelings from his mating bond, not wishing to distress Iris, he turned as his brother appeared in the room. He didn’t need to say anything, Viren could have just stood there. He closed his eyes when he heard the words when the question came about what they should do. Why ask him? Why not one of the others?

“I don’t think Mother would approve if we disregarded his wants.” He finally voiced. As much as their father had also tried to join their mother in her home, her traditions, he knew she always pushed for him to be himself as well. He supposed that was how their marriage and mating had worked.

A flicker of light returned down the bond after Viren had tugged upon it, gently her powers caressed against his own. Today was about him and his family, today she was there to support them all in any way she could. As much as she had loved her in-laws, she could not take away from the life that her own mate had had before he had known her.

I am fine, the Wolves as you call them don’t scare me. They know their place. The children are resilient. The younger ones don’t understand what is going on, so I sent them to bed. Our older ones are hurting but they understand what is going on and are trying to be brave. Don’t worry about us my Night, take care of yourself and Keir.

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger Part 15 - Gwynriel

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter

*

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

*****

Rhys' words hit him like a ton of bricks, and Azriel couldn't help the fear that flashed through him at the thought of another war, a war in which Gwyn would insist she get involved in. He tugged her against him, and she wound her arms around his waist,

"We'll have to involve the Darkbringers," Feyre almost-whispered, and Rhys narrowed his eyes,

"I don't like it, and I don't trust them."

"None of us do." Feyre muttered, "But with the queens involved as well, we'll need the numbers,"

"I know, but I still don't like it."

"Which queens?" Azriel asked, eyes darting around the room, despite knowing that it was secure, that Velaris, at least, was safe.

"All of them. It seems that they're angry about Briallyn's death, or power hungry more likely, power-hungry with an excuse, and a way in thanks to the Illyrians." Cassian furrowed his brows at Rhys' words, and started to try to come up with something that they could do, but Rhys just shook his head slowly, "Let's do this in the morning, when we can all think properly, and can actually make plans." Azriel nodded, and kept an arm around Gwyn as he led her out of the room, bidding his mother goodnight as they passed her.

He dropped onto the bed as soon as he reached it, and rubbed his temples, willing the oncoming headache to go away. He sighed as Gwyn's hands fell onto his shoulders, moving slowly, easing the soreness and tightness in his muscles. She rolled his head from side to side, and Azriel found himself relaxing into her touch, his eyes dropping closed as she worked in silence. Every thought became less overwhelming, less urgent, and he was able to quickly eliminate some of them, the less helpful ones, and slowly worked through his potential plans, what needed to be done first, and what could be done later. With each stroke of Gwyn's fingers, he pushed away the automatic panic at the prospect of another war, the human queens did not have strong armies, and with the Illyrian rebels most likely on the continent, they had time to prepare, to plan.

He wasn't sure when Gwyn had pulled his jacket away, or when she had found his sleeping clothes to place beside him for when he wanted them. She'd began humming softly, then singing, just quietly enough that he couldn't make out the words, but she was there, that was all that mattered. Azriel leaned back to meet her gaze, and smiled up at her,

"Thank you."

"I know what's going through your mind right now, anything I can help with, I will." Azriel smiled again, and slipped into the bathroom to give her space to change for bed. He held her close all night, his arms and wings wrapped around her, shielding her from the world.

*****

Azriel was calmer than Gwyn had expected, he'd been tense again when they'd woken this morning, but talking through plans and information with the others had helped. Gwyn didn't pretend to know all the nuances of war, but she understood everything that had been said, even if she would never have thought of it herself. With plans set, Azriel seemed more grounded, less worrisome, at least, he appeared that way, and from the occasional murmurs from his shadows, Gwyn believed it.

Rhys and Feyre were at training that morning, not at the House of Wind, no, they'd taken to training at the River House, with even Elain showing up to learn what she could. Gwyn had made a point of helping Cassian to walk her through the basics, and Elain had beamed when Gwyn offered to help her practice. Still, she kept half an eye on Azriel the whole time, it would only take one wrong move for him to re-injure himself, even less for Cassian, but so long as he was helping Elain, he wasn't at risk. Elain raised a hand to ask for a break, and Cassian started to explain how she could make things easier by moving differently, more fluidly. Gwyn glanced around the room, Feyre and Nesta, Rhys and Azriel, Emerie practicing her swings with a target, and Azriel's mother watching carefully, not with the eye of someone in awe, but the clinical assessment of a female well-versed in such matters. Gwyn had never considered that perhaps she could fight, although it would have been foolish for Azriel not to teach her, and she stepped in to offer a suggestion to Emerie about her wings. Brace or no brace, Emerie's balance was still occasionally thrown off. With Theia's advice, perhaps she could progress out of the brace faster, as soon as she could get rid of it, the better, especially if she might be attacked during a war. Still, it was odd that she'd worn it for sword practice, at least it was until she rolled to the side and retrieved a bow from the ground, sending an arrow slamming into the bullseye on the target across the room.

The door flew open, and Gwyn offered a smile at the tiny female who practically strutted through the doorway, and at the towering male behind her. She'd barely spoken to either of them, but Amren had the same air of confidence as Merrill, she was used to being feared, but for some reason, courage or stupidity she didn't know, Gwyn had never been able to be afraid of such people. Amren locked her gaze on Gwyn, but she just raised her chin and stared her straight in the eyes, Amren held her gaze for a moment, then a corner of her mouth curved up into a smile, and she nodded in approval.

Gwyn lost concentration when Azriel grunted, and she shot a glare at Rhys, High Lord or no, she'd kill him if he'd hurt Azriel, and noted with no small sense of satisfaction that Theia was staring at Rhys with a similar threat in her eyes. But Rhys just grinned, and Azriel rubbed his shoulder, nowhere near a recent injury. She nodded to Rhys, but narrowed her eyes, making the threat clear, and he threw his hands up,

I'd never hurt him properly, Gwyn.

Just making sure.

She grinned before turning back to Elain, who nodded, and raised her fists again. No matter that Cassian had just taught her this, her stance was all wrong, she wasn't meant for this kind of thing. Elain wasn't a fighter, but Gwyn would be willing to bet that she would be excellent at brokering alliances and deals with nobility, she had a disarming grace about her, if she learned to use it, she could be truly deadly.

Gwyn lost track of time until Cassian called for another halt, but not for a break, this time, he had to go and get ready to go to the Hewn City, with Rhys, Feyre, Nesta and Azriel. Gwyn hadn't mentioned anything that morning, but she couldn't bear the thought of Azriel anywhere remotely like his father's keep without her. She knew how horrible the Hewn City was, but she was going, she'd at least throw Keir off guard, a new playing piece.

"Az!" She shouted, just before he and Rhys left, "About the Hewn City-"

"You want to come, don't you?"

"Yes. I can't let you go without me."

"Okay. But you have to understand what it's like there, females are looked down on, they don't respect priestesses, except for marriages, every male in there will look at you in the worst way possible, I don't want to expose you to that unless you're really ready." Gwyn steadied herself,

"I know. But I can't let you go on your own, besides, they won't know who I am, I'm a new piece on the board, they'll be wondering who I am, what I can do, and they'll be more inclined to make mistakes when it comes to negotiating. We have to play the game, I can help Rhys and Feyre do that, even if only by adding an unknown." Azriel nodded slowly, and squeezed her hands,

"I just wanted you to really understand it, I would never stop you from coming."

Before she knew it, she was pressed against Azriel's chest as they flew for the city in the mountains. She knew that Feyre always wore the most scandalous dress she could, and that Nesta's neckline was beyond daring, even if she wore full skirts, but Gwyn couldn't face that, not in an unknown environment. She'd borrowed one Mor's dresses in her absence, jet black, and possibly the least revealing thing the blonde female owned, and it still pushed at Gwyn's comfort zone, sitting just this side of uncomfortable for her. It wasn't conservative by any standards, but the slit in the skirts only came to a little above her knee, and the neckline barely dipped below the hollow of her throat. The daring nature of this dress was the way the back of the dress left almost the entirety of her back uncovered, and the way the sleeves fell off her shoulders. With her hair twisted into an elaborate knot atop her head, her neck was entirely exposed. Since this was a proper court meeting, she had allowed Feyre to help her dust rouge across her cheekbones, and darken her lashes. Feyre had painted her lips a deep red, and had dusted silver sparkles across her eyelids, Gwyn had made sure to wear Azriel's earrings, keeping a part of him beside her, even when he couldn't be next to her the whole time.

Shadows lingered around Gwyn's feet when Azriel set her down, leaving her to walk ahead with Nesta while he and Cassian settled into their roles, reminding the Hewn City's inhabitants of exactly the power wielded by every member of the Inner Circle, well, almost every member. Gwyn glanced down at her hands, and cursed her own lack of power, but that wasn't why she was here. She could already feel the inquisitive, and sometimes downright predatory gazes of the males boring into her, but she kept her back straight and kept walking, no-one knew about the dagger strapped to her thigh beneath the dress, and if this went well, no-one would have to know.

Azriel had suspected that they might go to the Throne Room first, but it seemed that their message had already been received, so Gwyn found herself following Nesta to a council room. There was already a blond male, Keir, seated at the head of the table, who shot to his feet at a single look from Rhys, pulling a second chair to sit beside the one already there. Despite his obvious fear, he didn't bother trying to hides his disdain for Feyre and Nesta, or his blatant interest in Gwyn, she tried not to squirm under his gaze, instead turning to face him,

"See something you like?" He blinked, and glared at her, not bothering to reply, but she'd rattled him, set him on uneven footing. She settled into a seat beside Nesta, leaving Keir to sit between the two Illyrians, trying, and failing, to hide his discomfort.

"What is the purpose of this meeting, Rhysand?"

"I have need of your Darkbringers."

"Oh you do, do you?" Rhys inclined his head, "And what, I must ask, do you need them for?"

"Fighting." Keir narrowed his eyes, "Against the mortal queens."

"Humans?" Keir glanced around the room, trying to discern if Rhys was lying, and his gaze again landed on Gwyn, she had to resist curling her lip in disgust, the male was married! But she smiled again, showing her teeth,

"Easy, right? Especially for a male of your caliber. I'm led to believe that your forces are second only to the Illyrians." she said, and Keir's eyes widened in anger,

"Second!" He spat, "You think these overgrown bats are better than my own forces?" Gwyn just chuckled,

"By all means, prove me wrong," Nesta subtly nudged her foot in approval, and Gwyn stared expectantly at Keir,

"How many do you need?"

"Mobilize them all, and we'll go from there when we have more extensive intel on their numbers." Keir nodded, and agreed, shooting a glare in Gwyn's direction, a glare that darkened when he dragged his gaze across her bare collarbone, freezing as Azriel's hand clamped down on his own,

"You of all people should know how to treat a lady, Keir." He snarled, and Gwyn straightened,

"Now, Azriel, we can't all be refined and decent. There have to be some assholes, or the rest of us wouldn't look so perfect, would we?" She chuckled at Keir's shock at her vulgar language, almost grimacing when Keir ran his gaze across her once more, but that was enough for Azriel to flip him backwards over his chair,

"What did I just say?" He snarled, but released him at Gwyn's pointed cough, and allowed him to stand up, "Just give me an excuse, Keir." He whispered before the steward retreated out of the room. Gwyn shot Azriel a look, but he just shrugged, and sat back down, waiting for Rhys to decide if they needed anything more to be done before rising, and waiting for Azriel and Cassian to clear a path of courtiers for them to leave, hopefully without incident.

Gwyn was the last to leave, letting Nesta out first, but leapt backwards when the door slammed shut in her face. She heard Nesta pounding on the door from the other side, but it wouldn't open, and Gwyn pivoted as a sense told her that someone was there. She narrowed her eyes at the male stood behind her,

"What?" She snapped,

"What's a pretty girl like you doing on your own?"

"I think we both know that you engineered this situation, so let's cut the crap, and get on with it."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Gwyneth."

"Not really the answer I'm looking for, Gwyneth. Who are you? Why did the High Lord bring you here?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Gwyn hummed, stepping to the side when he reached for her, for some reason, her mind was clear, "Tick tock, that door will open in moments, and I'm sure our Spymaster will be thrilled to find out who you're working for and why they, Keir is it? Why Keir attacked a member of the High Lord's Inner Circle." The male paled, and backed away, just one step,

"They won't know what to do when that door opens, when the High Lord's new, whatever you are, is dead." He lunged for her again, but Gwyn ducked his attack, plunging her dagger into his thigh, and dragging it down. "Bitch!" He hissed, and fell on his ass right as the door flew open, night-flecked power rippling through the air.

Are you alright?

Gwyn blinked in surprise at Rhys' silent question, and offered him a tiny nod,

Fine, but you might have a slight problem here.

We'll see about that.

Azriel hauled the male to his feet, no compassion in his eyes, and Gwyn smoothed her dress down, she'd even managed to the keep the blood from spraying onto it, only staining the smooth marble floor,

"I know him, he's one of Keir's." Azriel said, and Rhys summoned a guard dressed in Hewn City uniform,

"Throw him in the dungeon, and make sure Keir doesn't let him out."

"Of course My Lord." She bowed as she spoke, but nudged Gwyn with an elbow, "Not bad, princess." Azriel rolled his eyes, and shoved the male towards her,  jerking his head sideways, urging her to get on with it,

"While you're at it, leave a little warning for Keir." The guard grinned,

"It would be my pleasure." She said, slipping out of the room on silent feet.

*****

Gwyn hardly seemed fazed, but Azriel was still cursing himself for letting her get in that situation when they took off,

"That guard, did you know her?" Gwyn asked, just loud enough for Azriel to hear over the roar of the wind picking up around them,

"Yes. She's-" Azriel lifted Gwyn closer so that he could be sure that no-one else could hear, "She's one of my spies, and she's been dying to meet you."

"To meet me?"

"Oh yes, they've all been teasing me mercilessly."

"You told them about me?" She flushed slightly, but he chuckled,

"No. They're spies, they know things, that's their job."

"Can I meet them?"

"Of course. But don't feel the need to oblige Maddy, she's just a nosy little shit, you know." Gwyn laughed, and clung on tighter as the wind ripped at her, despite Azriel's best attempts to block it. She laughed and tipped her head back, filling her lungs with the cool mountain air, and laughing as it pulled her hair out of the braid it had been in, whipping around her face.

"Now we're twins." She laughed, "Your mother will probably tell us both off when we get back." Azriel opened his mouth to speak, but Gwyn continued, "I can see where you got your singing from, she's got a perfect voice, even when she's just speaking, she hasn't actually sung in my earshot, it's like yours."

"Don't let her hear you say that, I'll never live it down, 'the warrior with the voice of an angel'," he laughed as he imitated his mother, "Mother above, she teases me enough already, I don't need you adding fuel to the fire."

"You just wait." Gwyn chuckled, "I already have centuries worth of ammunition." Azriel groaned, but couldn't help planting a kiss on the top of her head. He made to speak again, but the words died on his tongue, they would mean something more, something that Gwyn might not be ready for, he would wait, he could wait a little longer to say what he really wanted to.

*****

Gwyn left Azriel finishing off reading a few new reports from his spies, but only after he'd promised to tell her about them after she got back. Nesta was alone in her room when Gwyn arrived, and she heaved a sigh of relief that she didn't have to find a way to get rid of Cassian.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked, then changed her mind, then stepped through the door, "It's about Azriel."

"Oh?"

"Not like that. Shut up." Nesta giggled to herself, but she did shut up and let Gwyn finish, "How did you know that Cassian was the one?"

"I don't know, it just sort of happened, even before the mating bond, he just sort of weaseled his way into my life, the prick, got in the way of all my bullshit. I just knew. Then I gave him a biscuit, and that was that. I know that's not particularly helpful, though."

"No, no, it is, I'm just scared I guess."

"Scared of?"

"What Azriel and I are becoming, I want him so much, yes occasionally like that," she chuckled at Nesta's raised eyebrow, "And sometimes he pulls back, for my benefit mostly, and I don't know how to tell him not to, that I think," she took a deep breath, "I think I've fallen in love with him."

[nestable]

BRING IT ON HOME NESSIAN ONESHOT

Bring it on Home to me by Sam Cooke is on of my favorite songs in the word and I highly recommend you go have a listen if you havent heard it, I promise you wont regret it. I was listening to it the other day and instantly thought of how these lyrics resonated with nessian, cassian more especially and couldn't resist writing this fic. Just a little soft, SFW, domestic Nessian. 🥺😭

"Nes." Cassian groaned as he rolled closer to her side of the bed. "Nesta?"

After being met with stark silence, Cassian outstretched his hand only for it to collapse onto cold sheets.

No Nesta, he realized with a start.

Though he and his Nesta have been mated for some months now, all of which have been without an incident, he can't help but worry.

Each night he reassures himself with the knowledge of their bond, the heat of her body pressed against his own, the words of love and loyalty she ensures he hears everyday, that she is safe and finally happy.

Not miserable and balancing on the cusp of oblivion where he found her last year. Juggling between drowning her sorrows and indulging in sub-par sex just to feel something, just to deny the connection they share because she felt that she wasnt worthy of him. No, that was all over now, but he can't help when the memories resurface.

The memory of Nesta writhing and arched in her bed as silver flames wreathed her body like a shroud. The screams of pain and anguish that left her lips only to be swallowed by starless night and Deaths flames. How the very mountain trembled beneath their feet, bracing itself for the potential explotion that Cassian could sense building up. Somehow he knew that Velaris would've been crumpled to dust that night and become a fond memory. He felt it in his gut. Just the same way he felt her night terrors take hold of her for her powers to bask in centre stage. And in the same breath, he also felt that he could stop it. Whether that was pure male arrogance or the suspicion of the bond that lay between them, that was yet to be found. And it was...the moment her powers seized in intensity when he said her name. Once, twice, just enough for Rhys to gain control and save them all.

No, he would never forget that and he'd be damned if it were to happen again and catch him in a helpless position as the first time he witnessed the extent of her power. A power that mostly returned back to the Cauldron, only to be replaced by 3 Dread troves and the Mothers favour. A different sort of threat perhaps. One sweeter, kinder, even benign from what he's witnessed.

Nesta barely speaks about the power the same way she did with her Cauldron gifts. She reassures him that these were different, these she understands and smiled every time he enquired about her connection with the Mother. He wishes to know more, his body yearns for it, but his mate has always loved surprises.

Cassian threw on a pair of his undershorts before leaving his and Nestas new room. Though the House of Wind has become their shared abode, its ill advised to walk around naked with the possibility of Azriel becoming an unwilling spectator with his prowling around the halls in the dead of night like he's been doing for the past year.

Cassian loves his brother, sometimes more than kin normally do, he believes sometimes, but he'll never forgive him for that night he ruined his birthday night when he walked in on Nesta modelling her new negligee in the library. He's never jumped from one intense emotion to another so quickly. Blinded by the red lace of her silk garments only to see red of a different kind when the blue of Azriels siphon opened the door.

The territorial male part of him nearly took over that night and he was inclined to let it ride him had Nesta not winnowed them to their room and pushed him onto the bed. The anger, the curiosity he had as to how Nesta was able to winnow around the House when no one else could were obscured then turned insignificant by the view of Nesta sitting astride on his thighs.

Cassian followed the music swimming through the hall which brought him to a new lounge area that didn't present itself in the centuries that he's been living here until Nesta inherited the place.

Many new things have made their presence known and sprung to life since Nestas made the House her home. Hidden rooms have materialized, troves have opened and a gorgeous garden has flourished on the top of the mountain. As if in preparation of someone, or little someone's who might need it.

Cassian isn't blind to the fact that the House makes things available according to Nestas hopes, dreams and wishes. All of which make Cassian excited for the future and a forever with his mate even more.

Nesta was leaning against the cream white wall that she and Cassian painted just last night, holding an A2 canvas painting in both hands. He couldn't decipher her facial expression or read some of the wild thoughts that were evidently bouncing around her head as Nesta was inclined to raising her mental walls to him when she was stressed. He'd once asked why and she told him that she didnt want to plague him with her problems. Didnt want to bother him. Little did she know that Cassian was built for her, problems and all. Nothing about Nesta could bother him. Not even the parts that bothered her.

"Hi." He whispered which startled Nesta before she composed herself. For her to be so drawn into her thoughts that she didnt notice him approaching, instantly put him on edge him.

"Hi." She said, plastering a lazy smile onto her face.

Cassian took that as an invitation to enter. His eyes swept across the room, taking in the organized clutter. From the closed boxes filling the lounge, the half hung snow white gossamer curtains blowing in from the open balcony, to the slightly dusty white marble tiles that were installed just last week.

Cassian was a bit skeptical when Nesta told him of her plans to decorate this room in all white. White cushions, white couches, white walls, white flower arrangements, white chandeliers and white fur carpets felt like a fever dream to Cassian, but now that it's all coming to life, he can see the vision of beauty that Nesta had in mind. A vision not only limited to this lounge but the entire House of Wind that Nesta will decorate herself with the input of the House itself to revitalize the place. All of which will be paid for by Rhys.

How the Cauldron matched him to such a female, not mere female but god, he'll never know. All he can do is be grateful and work to be worthy and deserve the gift to draw breath in her presence.

Now that Nestas accepted her Human emissary role and is the courts newly appointed courtier, she's recieving the same fat salary like the rest of the IC, but Cassian doubts that Rhysand will ever let Nesta access her funds because he insists on paying for everything for her. Which goes to show that Rhys' gratitude for Nesta runs very far. Or guilt, or both.

What Nesta did for Feyre, Nyx and Rhys was something that couldnt be described with words. She saved their lives and in doing so the entire court. Rhys failed to tell his family about him and Feyres decision and never left a plan of action to follow after his death. Had he died, the role of High Lord could've fallen to anyone. Probably Keir or one of Mors detestable brothers because they are Rhys closest male blood relatives. What they would've done to Velaris, done to the entire court....Cassian seldom contemplates that. Nestas sacrifice and mercy saved them all and in doing so, opened herself to a higher form of being that is yet to be seen.

"What are you doing up so late?"

"I had a lot on my mind. I couldn't sleep so I decided to come and get this room in order." She explained, flipping her golden brown hair over her shoulder.

"What's been on your mind?" Cassian asked casually, taking a step closer.

He'd have embraced her and held her against his chest if it weren't for the massive painting in her hands. A painting that he can feel is the source of all her trepidation.

Nesta bit her lip before turning the canvas toward him and placing it in his hands. "Feyre finally finished that and it was delivered yesterday afternoon. I was too afraid to open it then- but I figured that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw it."

At first glance, anyone would assume that the muse was Nesta. From the steel eyes to the clear skin and poise in the pose. But upon further inspection, the age of the woman, the beauty spot beneath her right eye and slight darker tresses reveals the truth.

"This is your mother..." Cassian said lowly. The weight of the image, not the canvas itself but the obvious memories, pain and loss the painting held settled on him.

"Was." She uttered a bit sharply. Her throat bobbing up and down.

Cassians eyes darted between Nesta and the painting. Surprise and admiration pouring into him in droves. Her sisters did mention more than once that Nesta is their mothers spitting image, but this...it was as though the same person had been born twice.

"You stole her whole face." He chuckled, bringing a sweet curve to Nestas lip.

"I know...I know." She shrugged.

Cassian lay the painting carefully against the wall then wrapped his arms around his mates shoulders. Her own found their home around his waist as she rested her chin atop his chest so that their eyes could meet.

If it were a few months ago, a year, she would've furiously blinked away the tears that have settled in her eyes, or rejected their proximity entirely. Only to retain a semblance of control that shes strived so hard to maintain. But now shes opened herself to him entirely. Made him a part of both her happiness and pain, loss and gain, victories and failure. Just as their mating vows ordered.

"Talk to me." He whispered, dragging his fingers through her hair.

"I- I just...I know that my mother was not the best of mothers, nor did she love us in the ways that a mother should but....but that doesn't make me love her any less. She might've trained me instead of raised me, saw me as a ticket to wealth and leisure or lived vicariously through me but she was still my mother." Her tears fell down her cheeks as if a damn had been broken. "There were good moments as well as bad and I'm not going to pretend that she was never loving or good to me. Elain and Feyre might've forgotten her, but I can't... I wont."

Cassian lowered his head to press soft kisses to her cheeks where her tears left stains. "I know." He murmured. "You dont share the same memories as Elain and Feyre, it's only natural that you saw her much differently and remember her in a better light than they do." He rubbed feather light circles on the back of her neck in an attempt to assuage her from her pain.

"It broke my heart when I walked through Feyres house that day and didn't see a piece of myself or her. It felt like I was being erased, forgotten. Now I've found my place in that hall but she hasn't. I couldn't allow that to happen. I couldn't let her be erased just like that."

"And she wont be, not if you will it. I'll remember her with you." Cassians lips found Nestas and before they knew it, the couple found themselves descending into a deep kiss that only a mating bond could conjure.

"You know that's one of the reasons I love you?" He stated, to which Nesta replied with a raised brow. "Your compassion, your massive heart, your loyalty... these are all qualities that you motivate me to pursue everyday. You've kept your soft side hidden for a long time and now we're starting to see it." She smiled. By far the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. "That sweet love. Just bring it on home to me."

A giggle was shared between them as soon as the words left his mouth. The lyrics of a song, their song, that came on the day of their mating ceremony that they had on repeat for 2 hours straight. Cassian had never heard a song that spoke to him and his experience with love the way that one did. One that Nesta knew would speak to his very marrow and chose not to warn him in advance, only to see his reaction.

"You're insufferable." She said, only to hug him tighter and lay her head on his chest.

"Well then you're going to have to get used to it, Nes. We only have forever left together."

Just when Cassian expected Nesta to respond, the soft melody of a piano begun in the corner of the room from Nesta symphoniam, followed by the ever true lyrics that might've been written for them, that might as well have been their wedding and mating vows.

If you ever change your mind

About leaving, leaving me behind

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Nesta begun the dance. Cassian followed with no hesitation. Though it was a far cry from the pulsating waltz they'd done in Hewn city or other court events thereafter. It was far more intimate, passionate. Just a sway of the hips and foot movements that reforged and strengthened the golden bond that surged through them on Winter Solstice and polished it to a shimmer. Their bond was not a mere tether, not a chain. It was a rainbow. Shimmering through storms and sunny days. It didnt only make its presence known or surge when they were in the throes of passion, it became more sentient when they were upset with each other. It was the musical and colourful road that led mate back to mate. Self back to self.

I know I laughed when you left

But now I know I only hurt myself

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

His heart cracked at the words and the truth they carry. The memories when they were so at odds with each other that they could barely be in the same room longer than necessary. The nights when he thought the immense sadness and grief at the prospect of losing her entirely would drown him and suffocate him. When he wished that he could rip his heart out of his chest only to get a reprieve from his anguish. Anguish he attempted to expunge with throwing himself into work and training only to realize that the further they moved from one another, the further they moved from themselves.

As if Nesta could hear and feel those memories, she held onto him tighter. This female, his tether to reality, his anchor, the tree that was able to weather a thunderstorm that left the land decimated only to come back and continue to grow with fruits and flowers on display for all to see.

I'll give you jewellery and money, too

That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do for you

Oh, if you bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian knew that from the moment he met Nesta, there was nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for her. Nothing too out of reach that if she should request, he would give. He was already hers in mind, body and soul. Their bond might've snapped into being after she emerged from the cauldeon, but the draw he felt toward her was infinite. Like their souls were made from the same essence but placed on earth in different time periods so that they know life without the other, to appreciate being together more.

You know I'll always be your slave

'Til I'm buried, buried in my grave

Oh honey, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian held up Nestas hand so that he may look upon the wedding and mating band. She requested that she have both and went to the best jeweler in Velaris to fuse both choices so that they sit as one on her finger. Both were made of rose gold, the slimmer wedding ring was imbued with three tanzanite diamonds and the larger mating band sports just one giant diamond that would need it's own security team. Cassian knew his mate loved nice things and made him pay a pretty penny to get it. He'd do again if only to see the stars that twinkled in her eyes when they chose the bands at the jeweler.

He looked at his own jeweled finger. A simple silver band that stood out more than he expected it to. He wanted to get black carbon fiber but Nesta threatened not to speak to him again if he had. Now he can't stop looking at it. He loves how it makes an appearance even though he's bedecked in full illyrian armour. He'll never forget the swell of pride he felt when his soldiers eyes zoned in on the piece of metal that could've easily been obscured by the red siphon that rests atop his hand, but chose to stand out and make its presence known. A symbol of his immature bachelorhood dead and gone, giving life to a new stage in his life. A stage he's waited for longer than he cares to admit.

He remembers using the word 'shackled' when describing his mating bond with Nesta when he was upset with her, but now that word seems appropriate. If the pieces of metal sitting on their matching fingers are the shackles of which he spoke, then he'd wear his shackles with pride.

One more thing

I tried to treat you right

But you stayed out, stayed out at night

But I forgive you, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian rarely thinks about the time they spent apart. When resentment, self punishment and grief pulled them apart only because those memories are nothing in comparison to the centuries he spent without her.

Living life believing the words of the ignorant and seeing oneself as a inferior and undeserving of the love that he relishes in now. The love that has somehow wiped away centuries of self hate and lack of self awareness. He figures that the reason why he used to be the first to throw himself into deadly missions were all desperate plea to prove himself, to put it into stone that he isn't a mere worthless bastard but is someone worthy of respect. But now his outlook has completely shifted. He is no longer living only for himself, but for another. He remembers the blind terror he felt when he thought that Nesta was swallowed by the black water in the Bog, or how she screamed when she thought that she lost him on Mount Ramiel.

He doesnt want either of them to go through that again. To be without the other. To feel that their very heart was ripped out of their chest, when both had taken permanent residence in the other.

He saw how Feyre reacted when Rhys died, and heard when Rhys screamed when Feyre was on deaths doorstop. The mere thought of Nesta experiencing that pain or him has softened his daring heart.

He will live, he will love and he will do it with Nesta in his arms.

As the song drew to a close, Nesta shifted from her position on his chest, too look upon him again. She brought her slim fingers to his cheeks and smiled. "Forever."

He could offer nothing but the same. A truth that had been both a promise and a prayer from the moment they met, "Forever."

Tag: @bakingandbooks3 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @arinbelle @silvernesta @darklobe @haepaw @carlieg20 @illyrianshadowhunter

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 22//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

Just in time for ACOSF’s release tomorrow! Enjoy chapter 22!

XXX

The entire estate was abuzz with activity in preparation for the encounter with Keir and his legion of rebels. As predicted, once Rhys and the other High Lords had lifted the wards from our armed forces, Kallon alerted the steward and frantically gathered the Illyrian numbers he rallied for his rebellion. We had all been surprised when Azriel's reports indicated that those numbers had dropped—not significantly, but enough to know that we now had an advantage over the Illyrians. Those who abandoned Kallon's Illyrian rebels appeared at neither camp, leaving Cassian to assume they were remaining indifferent to either side. Regardless, they would be dealt with after this ordeal.

Through this nightmare, my heart not only ached for my mate—for the pain he endured knowing it was his mother's people who sought to betray him, but for Cassian as well. He commanded those armies, fought at their side through two wars, trained in their camps and, in spite of their ire, sought their approval. Their losses were his as well, and he took the brunt of the blame onto himself, along with their distaste. From the beginning, I saw the pain that swirled behind those hazel eyes; knowing despite everything he did, how hard he tried, they saw him as nothing more than a bastard-born Illyrian and aspired to bring him and his brothers down.

In the two days it took for Keir and his Darkbringers to arrive at Ironcrest, amidst the frenzy that ensued at the estate while every High Lord present worked and met with us in order to prepare, I tried time and time again to find a moment alone with Cassian. I wasn't sure what I would say, how I would comfort him, but I at least wanted to offer him some kind of support. He had spent the last several months, the duration of my pregnancy, trying to set me at ease; promising an end to the coup and the rebel Illyrians, all the while his own inner turmoil caused him a great deal of pain that was long-stemmed. It was my turn now to offer him some peace in the hours leading up to a confrontation he previously hoped would never occur.

By the time I managed to find the general, I had thought he was alone in the library—only seeing his winged shadow outside the double doors, until I heard Nesta's voice mingling with his in a tense and hushed conversation. I had been too far away from the doors to hear their discussion, but based on how impassioned my sister's low voice sounded, I knew better than to interrupt. Ever since opening up to me about her loss and her time with Cassian in the mountains, Nesta again began to warm towards me. She still held onto that powerful veneer, but I was glad to see that she no longer used it to push me away. Instead, she surprised my mate and I by showing up in Rhys's office with Cassian just moments before our morning meeting. With Keir and Kallon officially together at the Ironcrest camp, this would be our last assembly before all the High Lords and our forces left.

"I'll be going to this encounter," Nesta said after we concluded the session. "Since my sister is unable to travel in her condition, I will be going in her stead; as a representative of the High Lady of the Night Court."

I stared at her in disbelief, shocked that she not only acknowledged my position, but that she was volunteering to face a potentially violent conflict—for me. Despite the healthier state of mind she was in a decade later, I knew the events that took place with Hybern were still raw for her; as they still were for me. Yet here she was now, offering to represent my position in our court. I glanced at Cassian, but judging by his arrogant smirk, he already knew of her plans. I briefly exchanged a look with Rhys, a small smile on his face, but his eyes conveyed a very simple response: it was up to me.

I paused as I turned to look at my sister. Her chin set and hands clasped formerly across her abdomen as her grey-blue eyes stared intensely at mine. "Are you sure?" I asked, unable to help but be a little hesitant.

She simply nodded, unyielding. "It isn't right. For me to sit idle, when I am capable. After what happened last time-" she paused, thinking back to the attack on Velaris—when we had been housed safely in the Cabin with Elain. "You have your health, your youngling, to worry about. As your eldest sister, I can do more. I can represent you and your position in this court."

My eyes burned as I dipped my head in approval. "Thank you, Nesta."

"Well this will be a welcome addition," Helion mused. "Given how the Illyrians quake in her presence."

"Perhaps some may drop their weapons at the very sight of her," Thesan added.

"That may be wishful thinking," Tarquin said, though he too acknowledged the unnerving demeanor my sister possessed.

We all did, and knew that her attendance would no doubt send a clear message in this coup. Her powers were still unknown to us, whether she knew of them or not—she never said, but the lethal aura about her remained as strongly as it had the day she'd been made.

"If no one else has anything to add, then I say it's time," Rhys said with a look at the other High Lords, their entourages, and then at me.

My eyes still burned as I met his, my heart pounding in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it—feel it, down the bond. When no one else spoke up, he cleared his throat. "I will take Feyre up to the Cabin and meet you all at the designated camp just outside of Ironcrest," he said.

"I'll meet you there with Viviane and Eira once they are ready, it shouldn't be long, and your shadowsinger has shared the coordinates of where I should winnow," Kallias added.

Azriel nodded at the High Lord of Winter before addressing us. "I will bring Elain at the same time the High Lord and Lady of Winter arrive," he said quietly.

"Thank you Azriel," I said, quickly swiping at a stray tear.

The emotion laced in my words was indication enough for everyone to leave and attend to any last minute preparations. They were gone in a matter of seconds, but I hardly noticed; unable to look away from Rhys's violet eyes. With the room cleared, he stepped closer, holding my face gently as he brushed away the tears that began to fall in earnest.

"I know I can't go, but," I sniffed. "I don't know how I'll be able to part with you, knowing the danger you face. I...I…"

Rhys pressed his brow against mine as I wept and held me closer. For days my hormones had left me anxious for the moment my mate would leave with the others and put an end to Keir and his betrayal; so, I allowed myself to give into those emotions and the tears that accompanied them. These precious seconds in my mate's arms were just what I needed in order to feel at ease—to let him go while I stayed behind with our unborn child. Once my crying subsided, I lifted my eyes to his again and pulled back just enough to now hold his face in my hands and stare into his sparkling violet eyes.

"Don't let him get a rise out of you. You are a warrior, and warriors know when to pick their fights," I began, reiterating the very words he said to me during the war with Hybern. "Their crimes won't go unpunished. You are the High Lord of the Night Court, night triumphant. You go there, put an end to this treachery, and come back to me—to us, alive." I said fiercely, my voice quavering as our breaths mingled.

Rhysand's answering grin was slow as he nodded his head. "I swear it, High Lady," he said before pulling me into a deep kiss.

XXX

Even with my mate's promise, I couldn't help pacing about the living area of the Cabin once he, Kallias, and Azriel left. Elain and Viviane eyed me warily as I moved, Eira peacefully sleeping in a small cradle Viviane had brought along and placed just beside the leather sofa.

"Feyre, why don't you come rest?" Viviane urged as she stood, crossing over to where I had stopped pacing and began rubbing a sore spot on my lower back.

I shook my head. "I can't sit still," I said as my only reply.

It was true. The uncertainty of the events unfolding at this very moment left me restless. Until I knew Rhysand, our allies, and my friends and family were safe, I would remain on edge.

Viviane touched my shoulder gently. "You do know that walking around so vigorously can stimulate the body into going into early labor? If you keep pacing around here like this, you might very well give birth before the others return," she gave me a wry smile when I hesitated. "We don't want that now do we?"

I sighed in defeat and allowed her to help me back to the sofa, helping me lower myself onto the seat slowly.

Elain popped up just as I sat with a grunt, "I'll make us some tea!" However, just as she said that, a freshly brewed pot appeared on the table before us—along with three tea cups. She laughed nervously, remembering the magic that existed here, before going to pour us each a cup.

"I know it's hard not to worry, believe me," Viviane said as she sat beside me. "But think of it this way: this issue will finally be resolved."

I sighed in irritation. "That's all anyone has been telling me for days, what I've been telling myself," I snapped back, but immediately regretted it.

For her part, Viviane smiled in understanding-all too familiar with the quick shifts in mood that pregnancy caused.

"I just hate feeling like some kind of damsel in distress," I admitted.

"You are anything but, Feyre," Elain said as she handed me a cup.

She's right, my love

I nearly startled at the sound of Rhys's voice through the bond. Is it over? I asked in return.

His dark chuckle made me shiver. Unfortunately, we haven't started yet. We're on the front lines, waiting for Keir and Kallon to arrive

I gulped and knew this time he could feel my heart racing. I thought you might want to see things firsthand, rather than have me fill you in later

Through the bond, I felt his offering hand, dark talons beckoning me as I took it. His black adamant shields yielded to me, and a second later I was looking through my mate's eyes. From his peripheral vision, I could see Nesta standing immediately to his left while Mor and Amren stood at either side of them—Azriel and Cassian flanking them. Based on all our meetings, I knew the other High Lords, excluding Eris, were lined up just behind them. In spite of the crisp air in the Illyrian mountains, I could feel the sun on my mates' skin, could see it reflecting off his Illyrian leathers. Unlike my galloping heart, Rhys's was steady and calm; even as his sharp eyes picked up movement in the distance.

Slowly, arrogantly, Keir walked with Kallon and the commander of his Darkbringer army on either side of him. His hands were neatly folded behind his back, as they often were whenever we saw him at the Hewn City, his chin lifted proudly. Kallon at least had the sense to look a little intimidated at the sight of the three most powerful Illyrians in history on the opposite side of the battlefield; that intimidation probably coming not only from his lack of experience, but from his unexpected lack of numbers with the Illyrians. As he approached, I could see their soldiers following at a distance, but as the trio got closer, the troops stopped.

I could feel Rhys's muscles tense, wings flaring slightly at the steward's outright arrogance as he approached with a smug grin. I noticed Mor's own muscles go rigid, Amren and Nesta remained the picture of menacing ease, their cool facade's masking any rage they might've been feeling. Finally, with only a few dozen paces between them, Keir stopped in his tracks—meeting my mate face-to-face.

"Rhysand," the older male said by way of greeting.

I heard Mor growl from beside Rhys. "My lord," she corrected.

Keir didn't acknowledge her, his dark gaze penetrating as they stayed on mine—on Rhysand's.

"You forget yourself, Keir," he replied coolly, ever the embodiment of casual grace, even in the face of such blatant disrespect and deceit. "Since when do you address your High Lord by first name, and so casually too?"

The male seemed to ignore Rhys's words altogether, simply casting a glance over my mate's shoulder at the other High Lords aligned behind him—their forces also staged at an interval behind them.

"I see you've rallied this bunch. How you all actually managed to become friends after Hybern is truly a surprise to me," Keir scoffed, his disdain echoing for the word 'friends' in particular.

"Especially with that one," he motioned to Tamlin standing beside Tarquin at the far-right of the line.

I could feel Rhys's patience wavering, his dark powers seeping into his shadows and making them stir lightly. I ran my delicate fingertips along his shields to calm him, sending him another reminder: You are Night Triumphant. He is nothing.

"You openly plot against me, my mate, my crown, by rallying your army and joining with rebellious Illyrians in order to...what? Overthrow me? Kill me and take my throne as your own?" Rhys asked, his rage still in check for now.

"I've only come to take back what has rightfully belonged to my bloodline for centuries, before that ancestor of yours came along and claimed the seat of the High Lord for himself," Keir replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was one thing for your father to rule as High Lord, but to allow a half-breed disgrace to sully the throne? I have been complacent for far too long, especially now with that mate of yours carrying an abomination of such obscure proportions."

I felt Rhys hold back a growl, every ounce in his body wanting to retaliate for the threat against his mate, against me and our unborn child. Instead, he appeared outwardly unfazed. "You mean to demean my position by pointing out that I am half Illyrian, and yet here you are, allied with them," he said casually, his mask remaining the picture of ease.

"The Illyrians don't want a half-breed High Lord anymore than Keir and his lot do," Kallon spoke up. His voice was strong, but young, attesting to the inexperienced warrior that he was.

"You can come back once you've been around and bled for a few centuries, boy," Cassian retorted, all seven siphons flickering. "In the meantime, you're too wet behind the ears to speak on behalf of the Illyrians."

Keir shot Kallon a warning glance that silenced him. Turning back to Rhys, Keir straightened his shoulders, but before he could answer with some clever reply, Rhys cut him off with a laugh. A dark, whole-bodied guffaw that I had never heard come from him before. It was unscrupulous and dripped with condescension. I didn't have to see the rest of our party to feel the mood shift.

"Am I meant to be intimidated? You have your army of Darkbringers, who are assuredly substantial in numbers and skill, but yet ally yourself with the self-appointed leader of mutinous Illyrians, while said leader has only lived a couple of decades and has never seen the true course of battle," Rhys shook his head with another dark chuckle. "Perhaps the centuries haven't fared so well for you after all, it seems old age has made you lose all sense of reality"

The older male narrowed his gaze, darkened eyes igniting with contempt. "You think me a fool, Rhysand? That I wouldn't find a suitable ally outside these winged brutes?" Kallon's stare was seditious, but Keir ignored him and finally met Mor's gaze. "Perhaps, daughter, you would be glad to see another familiar face?"

Mor only raised an unamused brow at him, the sound of approaching footsteps coming from behind the group. Through my mate's eyes I saw Keir's widen as Eris stepped in line beside Tamlin; with the other High Lord's of Prythian he scoffed at only minutes before.

"Sorry about my pretty lies, Keir, but it was just too easy tricking another old male out of his sense of entitlement," Eris remarked, and though I couldn't see him, I could hear the hubris in his voice as he addressed the steward.

The male fumed at Eris's words, refusing to meet Rhysand's gaze as my mate took a step forward. "Surrender now, Keir. It's time to wake up and realize just how futile your efforts have been," Rhys said, the commanding voice of the most powerful High Lord in Prythian returning.

Of course, Keir continued to seethe as he returned a detestable look at Mor before finally facing Rhys again. He took a couple of steps forward, nostrils flaring as he spat, "You think I will yield so easily? I will correct the mistake I made centuries ago with you and murder that monstrosity your mate will bear in its cradle."

As soon as that last word came out of his mouth, everything seemed to move slowly. Blinding, white-hot rage exploded within my mate, but before he could even react, it was Mor that winnowed from his side in a split second to her father. She winnowed in behind him, an Illyrian dagger in hand, and stabbed him straight through the throat—blood splattering on her face as Keir's eyes widened again. He seemed to try and speak before Mor twisted the blade, pushing it further into his flesh. A wet, strangled sound came out of Keir's mouth as it filled with blood, Mor then kicked the back of his legs and sent him to his knees. I saw her mutter something into his ear, but couldn't hear the exact words before his body dropped to the ground in front of her.

As blood pooled from his throat, Mor stood over his body and didn't look up when Kallon shot to the skies, yelling orders to their Illyrian forces; the Darkbringer commander turning and shouting similar orders before drawing a blade aimed at Mor, who in her adrenaline-filled rage quickly pulled out her own and stabbed him through the gut. The last thing I heard was Cassian's own shouts before Rhys pushed me from his mind, sending me back to the Cabin without warning.

I gasped as though I had been holding my breath throughout the entire ordeal, grasping at my chest and stomach simultaneously as I heaved for breaths. Viviane and Elain were already at my side, but I couldn't make out anything they were saying to me as my mind raced from what I had just witnessed. Of the blood that seeped into the grass, of the gurgling sounds Keir made as he lay dying, the sounds of blades being drawn, and orders being yelled. I squeezed my eyes shut as the images kept flashing through my vision, breathing becoming nearly unattainable as I tried to desperately fight them away; reprising memories of my mate lying dead on the ground after the last war beginning to flash along with the others.

No no no no no no no

I couldn't lose him; I couldn't lose any of them.

Rhysand.Rhysand.Rhysand!

Suddenly, I felt a gentle glimmer at my core, followed by the movement of my son stretching inside of me. That glimmer seemed to warm me from the inside out as my panic slowly ebbed away, Viviane and Elain's voices finally coming through.

"Feyre? Can you hear me?" It was Viviane, and I realized then that her hands held my shoulders gently.

I opened my eyes gradually and met with her piercing and concerned blue eyes. My breaths finally regulated as she guided me back into a normal breathing cycle, knowing that I could at last hear her words. I realized then that I was clutching my belly and looked down at it as I felt my son move again. I loosed another slow breath and caressed it instead, closing my eyes as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Oh Feyre," Elain whispered as she sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me carefully.

I leaned into her embrace, silently crying as I began to relax—this abating moment contrasting with the one I had with Rhys. Viviane rubbed my shoulder gently, and they both waited patiently for me to calm.

"I was there," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I saw what happened, through Rhysand's eyes."

Viviane frowned, "Are they all right?" She asked.

I paused. "I saw Keir die. Mor stabbed him in the throat, and then they were all shouting. Just as the fighting was about to begin, he sent me back." I said, meeting her worried gaze apologetically.

I felt Elain go rigid as I explained how Keir had been killed, no doubt recalling the gruesome details of how she had done the same with the King of Hybern. I pulled back from her arms slowly, sitting upright with a weary sigh before I went into a full detailed account of everything I had seen—that had been said and done. By the end of it, Viviane's concern seemed to marginalize.

"They'll be all right," she said. "Keir and Kallon were vastly outnumbered, so the fighting won't last for much longer. They'll have no choice but to surrender."

I nodded, though a kernel of doubt still lingered. I looked down at my stomach again, rubbing the expanse of it as my son continued to stretch and kick at his leisure. The glimmering reminder that was him had brought me back to reality, from the edge of my panic. I closed my eyes as I felt him move, feeling another flutter in response as I continued to stroke my belly.

Thank you, baby.

XXX

Hours passed and there was still no word from the others. I tried reaching down the bond on a few occasions, only to be met with my mate's impenetrable black adamant. As time went on, Eira was a welcome distraction. She awoke from her nap in good spirits, cooing and smiling at Viviane and Elain as they fussed over her. I watched from my seat with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes as I idly brushed my fingers along my stomach, thoughts still on my mate and the others as I wondered what held them for so long.

There was no doubt our numbers outweighed theirs; so, while we had hoped fighting wouldn't ensue, now that it had, it should've been settled quickly—a slaughter. I did my best to focus on Eira, picturing what my own future with Sebastian would be in a few short months, but every few minutes or so my thoughts returned to Rhysand and the others. I thought of Mor and how aptly she took out her father and his commander, what possible ramifications would come from her impulses, though I couldn't blame her for it. I wondered if Nesta and Amren had been able to keep a safe distance once the fighting began; if Azriel or Cassian would be hurt while taking down their own kind, though I knew the latter would feel more of a burden than the former.

Finally, a knock came at the door before it opened, Rhys striding inside with Azriel and Kallias following closely behind.

"Oh, thank the Cauldron!" Viviane exclaimed, gathering Eira to her breast as she quickly stood.

Kallias had his daughter and mate wrapped in his arms only seconds later, but I was too distracted with my own overwhelming relief as I saw my mate. I choked on a sob as those star-flecked violet eyes met mine, and as I struggled to push myself upright, Rhysand quickly pulled me into an embrace as he dropped to his knees before me. I slid forward, meeting his knees with mine as I landed on the ground, kissing his face and brushing back the loose strands of his hair as he did the same.

Tell me you're alright. I pleaded

I am, Feyre. Everything's alright

Though the three of them were dirty and bloodied, their faces showing the exhaustion of battle, they were here in one piece. They were alive and safe.

Rhysand's hands held my stomach gently as our brows touched, his eyes lined with silver as he stroked it gently, solace washing over him as well.

Is he...?

He's fine, we both are.

His shoulders went slack as one hand held my hip firmly. "The others…?" I asked aloud, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Fine," he said as he pressed a kiss to my brow and pulled away from me.

He helped me back onto the sofa as we faced the others. Kallias had an arm slid behind Viviane's back, and from the corner of my eye I saw Elain quickly pull her hands away from Azriel's when Rhys rose to his feet. There were still tears welled in her eyes, and I saw the shadowsinger curl his scarred fists closed once Elain's delicate ones left his touch.

"The bastards managed to hold their own for a while, but with hardly any leadership in the wake of Keir's death, we had them overrun after an hour or so," Rhys explained to us.

"Kallon's novice knowledge as a warrior showed. He stood no chance against Cassian's direction and tactics," Azriel added.

"Is he dead too?" I asked.

"Not yet. Cassian got a hold of him and knocked him unconscious. Probably would've killed him, if Rhysand hadn't insisted they take him prisoner," Kallias answered.

A quick nod at Azriel, "We have plans for him and the other camp lords that went against us." Rhys said.

"But Keir is dead? Mor killed him?" Viviane asked.

"Yes, him and about a dozen other Darkbringers. Outside of that, there weren't many casualties," Kallias replied.

"We spent the rest of the time rounding up the rest of their army as they surrendered, stationing prisoner camps that Cassian, Azriel and Devlon will oversee as we plan our next steps," Rhys went on. "As for the Darkbringers, Mor and Amren are taking them back to the Hewn City."

I gulped as I recalled Mor's rage and thought of how she would handle the army of traitors her father raised. I sighed shakily and motioned for Rhys as my relief was replaced by a wave of nausea. Taking note of my illness, he helped me to my feet without another word and I quickly crossed over to the nearest bathing room—making it to the toilet just in time as I vomited. I could barely hear the sound of the voices talking in the other room over the sound of my retching, but only a minute later Rhys entered the bathing room with me, holding my hair and rubbing my back until the nausea passed.

Resting my back against the hard planes of his chest, I closed my eyes as he flushed away the mess and summoned a cool washcloth to place on my forehead. He then lifted me in his arms easily, carrying me down the hallway and towards the small bedroom.

"They left?" I asked after I noticed how quiet it was.

Rhys nodded as he sat me on the bed, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Feel better?" he asked.

I sighed heavily with a slight nod, removing the damp cloth from my head. "Yes...I think everything just hit me," I said tiredly, truly feeling the weight of it all lifting.

Is Mor okay?

"She's been waiting for that moment for centuries. Today she finally had enough," Rhys replied aloud—exhaustion as clear in his voice as it was in his eyes.

I nodded in acknowledgment and squeezed his hand, taking note of the blood that still coated his fingers. "It's over…" I whispered.

Rhys squeezed my hand back, the bed giving way as he sat beside me. "Yes, it is."

"There's still so much to do," I said, mind beginning to race.

"There is," he confirmed, a strong hand returning to the apex of my belly. "But we still have time before he comes."

My eyes stung as my sense of relief returned and I let out a wet laugh as he stroked my stomach. "He'll be safe," I said with a quiet sob.

His eyes stayed on my stomach, those beautiful eyes going distant. "He would have never been in danger if I wasn't the male that I am. If you hadn't accepted our bond, or married me, then-"

"I wouldn't be here right now if you weren't the male you are, Rhysand. He wouldn't exist without you, and I...I wouldn't either," I interrupted as I took his face in my hands again, forcing him to meet my fierce gaze.

Those violet eyes shattered at my words and a second later his arms were wrapped around me once again, pulling me onto his lap as I enveloped my arms around him in return and held him just as closely. I shook with a sob as I buried my face in his hair as his lips brushed against my neck and breathed in my scent. With this burden lifted from both of our shoulders, we no longer had to pretend to enjoy whatever short-lived peace we had been afforded during this ordeal. We now had a peace that had the potential to last for a great deal longer; a peace that our son would be born into and thrive.

[sol3rn]

I am currently reading acowar and I need to express myself about some things...

1. Elain being a shell and nesta being cold rude mean person.

I see things like that; nesta loves elain more than anyone is this world, probably even more than she would ever love Cassian in my opinion. And I think Nesta feels like she has to show a strong imagine or herself for elain, like if nothing affects her because she thinks she doesn’t get to fall apart when Elain is at her lowest, because if they both do fall apart then, who’s going to look after them? (Add with that the fact that nesta doesn’t know how to deal with emotion and so choices to bottle them up.)

2. Feyre pushing Nesta, when she says she won’t.

Feyre changes her mind every two seconds when it comes to nesta. She first says she doesn’t want her sisters more involved in the whole war hybern thing more than they already are, but then changes her mind two seconds later saying « fine I will ask them, but I won’t push them if they say no ». So far everything is okay, I mean there’s no harm in asking for their help when you need some. But then! Then she asks nesta at dinner and when she says no, explicitly and several times, feyre keeps pushing into telling her story to strangers she never met or even heard of, people she hates. Where that whole « I won’t push them if they say no it’s their right » thing went?? Nesta accepter helping with the whole, and she still is pushing more and more asking for more. HELL NO.

3. Feyre trying to push nesta by using her title.

I know she didn’t actually do it, she just thought of it, addressing her as a (her) highlady instead of a sister. Do I really need to say it? Fine. Nesta is not a part of the night court, she is not a part of feyre’s court. She is her sister staying in the night court as long as they’ll accept her and Elain to stay. So feyre doesn’t have power over her, not in this way anyway, and so cannot use her title to force Nesta into doing something she does not want to.

4. Cassian being the only who sees to actually care about how nesta is doing.

That’s it. There no further comment. He sees her, how gorgeous she is, how affected and damaged she is while even her sisters don’t seem to see it... he wants her to train so she can let out the anger he sees dwell in her, boiling inside of her, so she can leave the house and so not feel prisoner more than she already does.

5. I live for Nesta&Amren being friends, or something like it.

Nesta seems to be scared of the entire circle but Amren, when amren is supposed to be the most terrifying of them all. I mean even Rhys is scared of her even tho he is the most powerful high lord in history. Amren likes that about her, how similar and different they are, but also that she doesn’t fear her, I wish to see more of that.

6. Feyre putting Mor sensibility above a potential ally in the war.

I get Feyre and Mor are best friends and so she cares about her well being, but wat is coming and they don’t have a lot of allies to fight with them to protect AND PRYTHIAN, AND THE MORTAL REALM. They need every single allies they can get to have a chance to survive and win the war. But no, no miss feyre high lady of the night court is willing to sacrifice thousands of not billions of lives by sacrificing a potential ally just for ONE DARN PERSON. Does she even think sometimes?? I mean, if Keir was asking for velaris or for much gratter things that could jeopardize the peace they’re trying to maintain and protect, okay, makes sense, but just to avoid upsetting her friend?? I get it, Keir and his legion aren’t good people, and are violente and may trigger mor’s traumas, feyre can be preoccupied by it, but in a time in such need she cannot just choses to ally or not with a potential ally in a war like that just for one person... it’s foolish and awfully selfish for the billions lives she would put at risks.

7. Cassian and the bone carver.

I need to know now what form the Bonne Carver appeared as for Cassian. I have two ideas, either his mother or nesta. Cassian was pretty chocked when he saw it, so chocked feyre couldn’t tell if he was breathing, and for me he wouldn’t react like for a little something. We all know Cassian cares about nesta, and beyond just « making sure she is okay », and so seeing her as the bone carver could make him realize how he truly feels about her. I am not saying he is in love with her or anything, just that he cares for her more than he thinks he does. I also think him seeing nesta talking about herself and the powers she might have, how powerful she might be, was pretty shocking, because she never talk about anything related to her powers. But I also think, seeing his mother’s traits talking about Nesta, the woman he seems to care a lot about, when I think a part of him might hate her for a donning him in the mud because he was bastard born, even if it’s tradition or whatever, might make him see red. In my mind how the bone carver choses to appear as to you means a lot about yourself and your true feelings, and so I believe it is very important to get to know WHAT DID CASSIAN SEE IN THAT CELL ??! I don’t know if my thoughts are clear but....

8. Feyre is not as innocent as everyone (especially nesta antis) want to make her when it comes to her sisters.

People keep saying nesta treated feyre like shit, criticizing her physically and some even use the word « abuser ». I don’t think nesta is an abuser, I do not believe she is a saint either. Nesta is a person as good as evil, literally 50-50. People need to understand something; siblings relationships aren’t all love and glitter and heaven or whatever bullshit. Some cannot communicate properly, such as feyre and Nesta, and it is not a one sided problem, nesta is not the only responsible in this communication issue and feyre isn’t either. Feyre is as bad as Nesta when it comes to each other, they both treat Elain better than the other, it shows by the way they both address to each other, how feyre talks down to nesta and snort at her (yes feyre snort a lot at nesta, like most of the time nesta speaks, or like she wants to snort but by the strength of her will don’t do it). And if you say to justify Feyre’s reactions and the way she talks to nesta by saying « it’s just pay back for all the years nesta spent treating her like trash » than you make Feyre as much a villain as you make Nesta one. Revenge and pay back aren’t the solutions and are childish, especially in this case. Nesta definitely needs to learn how to communicate without being so cold and sometimes condescending toward others, but Feyre also has to improve her behavior toward both her sisters, which leads to my second point...

There’s probably more to come, but for now it is what upset me the most. (Except for the nessian part, its also positive)

[cinaja]

Before the Wall part 30

Masterlist

Warning: There is a bit more violence (tw mentions of torture and death) towards the end, but nothing too explicit. Still, if you want to skip it, you'll notice well in advance where it starts.

----

Just like for their first meeting, it is Jurian who suggests the meeting place. Standing in the stable, he only allows himself a moment to prepare for what`s about to come. He leans his face against his horse`s flank and runs a hand through its mane. In his head, he counts to one hundred. Then, he climbs into the saddle.

Tia stops him as he rides out of the stable. “Where are you going?”

“For a ride.”

It really is a good thing that Miryam isn`t here. She would never have bought that lie. But even though Tia knows him longer – they both joined the rebellion at a similar time, when he was thirteen and she twenty – reading people isn`t one of her talents. Still, Tia seems doubtful.

“For a ride?”, she echoes. “That sounds like an extremely easy way to get ambushed and die.”

Jurian can hardly tell her that the chances of him getting ambushed are low, since he is already meeting an enemy commander. Tia would be more likely to tie him to a chair than allow him to go meet Clythia. But he needs the information she might have.

“They are free to try and ambush me”, he says with a wink, “They`ll see what it gets them.”

Tia rolls her eyes and mutters something about how she`ll write that on his tombstone. Jurian laughs and gently presses his heels into his horse`s flank, sending it into a gallop.

This time, he didn`t try to delay the meeting and he arrives before Clythia. He ties his stallion to a tree and gently strokes its nose as he waits. Not even five minutes pass until a faint pop sounds behind him.

“Hello”, Jurian says without turning around.

His heartbeat quickens and he tries to breathe as regularly as he can. Fae can smell strong emotions, and if he wants to get anywhere with this, she can`t notice his fear and disgust.

“You actually came”, she says from behind him.

“I said I would, didn`t I?”

It is probably not the most flirty reply. But Jurian has decided that he doesn`t have the biggest talent with words, so he might as well give up the attempts. Besides, the more he tries to play games with Clythia, the more he feels like throwing up.

Clythia steps around him and leans against a tree facing him. Jurian continues stroking his horse.

“I wasn`t sure. You never replied to me letters.”

Jurian doesn`t give a reply, mostly because he doesn`t have one. The truth hardly seems helpful to his goal of getting information out of her.

“If I went too fast last time”, Clythia says, “I apologize. I thought you might prefer going quickly.”

“It`s just all very confusing”, Jurian says. It`s the most neutral comment he can think of.

Clythia nods quickly, looking relieved. “I can imagine! For me, with my visions, it`s like we already know each other.” She shrugs. “I sometimes forget that it`s not the same for you.”

A perfect opening. Jurian pretends to consider, then nods. “What are they like? Your visions, I mean. Can you really see the future?”

She nods. “It just isn`t always as clear as I`d like. Some things are veiled, others change with time.” She smiles at him. “I`ve seen what would happen between us for years, though.”

“But other things can change?”, Jurian asks.

Clythia nods. Good. That means her idea that they are sure to end up together doesn`t have to become true.

“There are a few things that more or less stay the same no matter what, though.” Clythia laughs brightly. “Almost like it`s written in the stars.”

“Really?”, Jurian prompts. Now, this is interesting.

“Yes. For example, I`ve always known that I`ll die before Mara.”

It takes Jurian a heartbeat to realize that Mara is her name for Amarantha. Then, he has to keep from smiling. The words seem like a confirmation for his plan.

“Or take that friend of yours. The witch”, Clythia says. It seems that she has chosen to ignore the fact that Miryam isn`t just a friend. “She`s another one of those constants.”

She might as well have dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. “What about her?”

“She doesn`t survive the war.”

Jurian stares at her. It takes a moment for the words to register, for him to truly realize what it is that Clythia just told him. When he finally understands, it is all he can do not to gasp. No. No, this isn`t possible. It can`t be.

Clythia merrily breezes on, like she didn`t just completely upturn his world in a single sentence. “It`s what I keep telling Ravenia. No need to worry about the girl. She`ll die anyways. But does she listen? Of course not.” She winks at him like this is some kind of shared joke. “Ravenia doesn`t much like seers, you know.”

No, Jurian doesn`t. His mind is still caught up on the fact that Clythia just casually revealed that Miryam will die. That it`s written in the stars, nothing to be done about it.

“Besides, I think Ravenia takes it personally”, Clythia continues, “I mean, I can`t blame her. I know how I would feel if one of my slaves ran away and decided to go to war with me.” She laughs. “Imagine the audacity!”

The only thing Jurian can imagine right now is drawing his dagger and killing her. He takes a deep, calming breath and tries to focus on why he is here. He looks around, trying to find a way to distract himself and settles on a bag lying next to Clythia.

“You brought breakfast?”, he asks.

Clythia blinks, obviously surprised by the sudden change in subject. “Yes”, she says, “Sure. Do you want to eat?”

Jurian nods. His stomach is churning, but eating will give him something physical to focus on. And then, he`ll just need to get some information out of Clythia, and all this will end.

----

They fly for most of the night. By the time they land in the early hours of the morning, Miryam`s entire body is stiff and in spite of the thick cloak, she feels like she is half-frozen. She slowly walks a few steps up and down, trying to get feeling back into her legs. Unfairly enough, Drakon doesn`t seem bothered at all by the long flight. He is already laughing with one of his captains. Around them, the other soldiers land and fall into rank.

Miryam uses the time where nobody pays much attention to her to look around. They landed in the mud on the edge of a camp that`s much smaller than their own, but well-organised. Pitch-black tents stand arranged in neat lines, surrounded by defence systems. A night court banner flies over the highest tent.

Wonderful. At least the soldiers don`t seem to be Illyrians, which will hopefully spare her any freak-outs over her being a witch. Unfortunately, Night Court High Fae are, in her experience, far harder to deal with than any others.

She steps closer to Drakon. “You`ll have high command over the battle, right?” He nods.

“Then let`s go introduce ourselves”, she says.

Finding the person in charge of the camp turns out to be quite a challenge. The soldiers at the entrance let them through without putting up a fight, but none of them seem interested in helping them any further. Miryam and Drakon both ask after the camp`s commander, but the soldiers just stare at them.

Finally, Drakon picks a Fae male standing at the front. “You”, he says, “Take us to your commander, if you`d be so kind.”

The male shrugs and turns without a word. Miryam exchanges a look with Drakon, who looks torn between disbelief and annoyance as they follow the soldier. On their walk through the camp, Miryam can`t help but notice that she is the only woman around.

She really can`t stand the Night Court.

“There”, the soldier finally says and jerks her chin towards a big, black tent at the edge of the camp. It doesn`t look like a command tent.

“What is in there?”, Miryam asks, but the soldier has already disappeared back into the crowd.

Drakon gives her a bewildered look, shaking his head softly. “What was that?”

“Prythian”, she replies with a grin. “They aren`t big on politeness.”

With that, she walks towards the tent. Two guards stand in front of the entrance, but they don`t stop Miryam and Drakon as they enter the tent.

As soon as Miryam pushes aside the entrance, she realizes that she made a mistake. She spins around to Drakon to tell him to stay outside, but it`s already too late. Next to her, Drakon has frozen in the entrance. Then, before Miryam can do anything, he takes a stumbling step backwards, spins around and rushes out of the room.

Miryam desperately wants to run after him, but instead, she forces herself to turn around to the slender male who is standing in the tent, sneering at her.

“Keir.”

She does her best to focus only on him and ignore the six people hanging by their wrists behind him. All of them are covered in so much blood that Miryam has a hard time making out facial features.

“I asked for reinforcement”, Keir says, shaking his head. “The Alliance sends children.”

Miryam ignores the jab and nods towards the six people behind Keir. One of them groans softly. “Are these people your source?”

“Captured enemy soldiers. Sang like birds after an hour or so.”

“You got your information on the movement of Amarantha`s army through torture?” Miryam shakes her head. “But you realize that it is possible for people to lie, right? Torture doesn`t stop that.”

Keir waves her off like she`s no more than an annoying insect. “Believe me, these people would tell me anything to make it stop.”

“That`s exactly what I`m worried about”, Miryam shoots back.

Keir completely ignores her comment and turns to one of the prisoners. “You want to tell the girl what you told me?” As if to emphasize, he takes a small, bloody knife from a table.

“Stop this”, Miryam says sharply, “You will not continue torturing these people. Have them brought to a healer and then have them locked up.”

“No”, Keir says thoughtfully and moves his knife closer to the prisoner, who whimpers. “I don`t think I will.”

He angles his knife, aiming for the prisoner`s face. Miryam steps forward and grabs him by the wrist.

“I wasn`t asking”, she says.

Slowly, Keir drags his brown eyes over to her. Then, he looks at her hand on his wrist.

“How would you like it”, he asks, “if I made it public that your little friend can`t stand to see a little bit of blood without freaking out? Not a good trait for a military commander, is it?”

Fury crashes into Miryam like a wave and sends her magic spinning. She digs her fingernails into her palm and replies, “How would you like it if I had you stripped of your command for refusing orders from a superior?”

Keir slowly lifts his eyebrows. “Not quite as nice as your reputation, are you?”

“I make an exception for people who sell their underage daughter to marriage and then torture her for refusing.” She gives Keir a hard glare. “I`m not the child you met in your Hewn City anymore. If you think you can refuse my orders, or Drakon`s, and get away with it, then you`d better think again, because I won`t hesitate to end your career over this. Are we clear?”

Keir`s eyes are positively burning. But slowly, precisely, he nods. Miryam lets go of his arm.

“Good. Then I want you to have these prisoners locked up in a proper cell and have a healer see to them. Afterwards, you`ll get your army ready and make it clear to them that it is Drakon who has high command over this mission, not you.” Without waiting for a reply, Miryam turns around to leave the tent. In the entrance, she pauses. “And you`d better hope that information you tortured out of your prisoners is correct. Otherwise, I`ll make sure that it`s your head on the line.”

With that, she goes looking for Drakon.

He isn`t with his soldiers. There, she only finds Drakon`s captains, who ask what is going to happen now. Miryam tells them that they just need to wait for the Darkbringer army to get ready. She tries not to slip through that she unfortunately has no idea where their Prince vanished off to. His personal guards look worried.

Since Drakon usually tries to avoid crowds and closed spaces, she decides to walk a circle around the camp and see if she can find him that way. In the light forest, Miryam can`t see very far. She doesn`t dare to shout – after all, there might be guards and the last thing she needs right now is a run-in with a bunch of Night Court guards.

She is almost ready to give up her search and make up an excuse for why Drakon had to leave at a sudden notice when she basically runs into him. He is sitting on a fallen tree by a river, drums a quick rhythm on the wood next to him and stares into the water.

Miryam sits down next to him. Asking if he`s alright seems stupid, so she just remains silent. Drakon keeps drumming his rhythm, fingers dancing too quickly for her to follow the movements.

“So that was Mor`s father”, he finally says without looking away from the river.

“Pleasant, isn`t he?”

Drakon nods. They are silent again for a while. Then, he says, “I still have a battle to lead, don`t I?”

“If you`re up to it.”

She isn`t yet sure what she`s going to do if he decides that he isn`t up to it. She`ll probably have to hand over command to Keir, since there`s no way that she will be able to take the lead. And she`ll have to come up with an explanation for why Drakon is indisposed. Maybe some emergency in Erithia?

“I`ll manage”, Drakon says.

Miryam still hesitates. I wish I could give you a break from all this. But this is war, and they have no time left to squander.

“Then let`s go.”

Maybe when they are back in camp, they will find the time to do something nice together for once. They could arrange another party – music, dancing, more food for everyone. Everyone, from soldiers to commanders, could use a bit of happiness.

They walk through the forest in silence. Fortunately, Drakon`s soldiers like him and are polite enough to ignore the fact that he just vanished. Keir, who has assembled his soldiers by now, sneers at him, though. Miryam gives him a sharp glance and then turns her attention back to Drakon, who orders his soldiers to get moving.

Their sources – also known as enemy soldiers who were tortured for information – claim that Amarantha will march her army west. On the way, she will need to cross a ravine. Drakon discussed the situation with his generals and they decided to plan an ambush at the only bridge in an one-hundred-mile-radius. There, they lay in wait hidden between the trees.

They wait. And wait.

Miryam looks up at the sky. It has been at least three hours now.

“Didn`t you say they`d be here before midday?”, she asks Keir, who is unfortunately sitting with her and Drakon.

“It`s not midday yet, is it?” Keir brushes some dust off his black clothes. Miryam wonders if anyone ever told him that it is a bit over-the-top for Night Court soldiers called Darkbringer so wear all black. “What even is your role here?”

“I`m back-up”, she says. And she really hopes she won`t be needed today.

They sit around some more. Drakon leans against a tree and drums a complicated rhythm on the bark. Keir silently glares at him and Miryam stares up at the sky. Slowly, the sun creeps over the sky.

It has long passed its highest point when Miryam breaks the silence. “They should be here by now.”

This time, Keir doesn`t object.

“I`ll see if I can find anything”, she says.

Unfortunately, she hasn`t brought Kiel, but she finds a hawk in a tree somewhere above them. Miryam easily slips into its body and has it circling above the forest. After ten rounds, she gives up and slips back into her body.

“There is no sign of an army”, she says with a pointed look at Keir, who is smart enough to look worried. “Not within miles.”

“But they have to be somewhere”, Drakon says, “So if they aren`t here, where are they?”

They look at each other. Miryam sees the understanding dawning on Drakon`s face the same moment she realizes their mistake.

“Shit”, Drakon whispers.

“We need to get back to our camp”, Miryam says, “Now.” Even though a small voice in her head whispers that they are likely already too late.

----

Jurian sits with his back against a tree and watches Clythia brush a few crumbs of cake off her clothes. She brought cake for breakfast. That, and all kinds of other expensive food, most of which Jurian has never seen in his life.

He looks up at the sky. It`s past midday now, which means that the trap Miryam and Drakon laid for Amarantha has likely already been sprung. Maybe the battle is already decided. And maybe, and unbidden voice in his head whispers, they lost and are both dead by now. And if not in this battle, then in another. Jurian pushes the thought away.

“You are close, aren`t you?”, he asks, going back to their conversation, “You and your sister.”

“Very. She practically raised me.” She starts playing around with her hair. “Our parents died when I was still young.”

Normally, Jurian would have sympathized with her for this. He also lost his parents early – his mother died in childbed when he was four, his father five years later from a cold. He basically grew up with the rebellion. But this is Clythia he`s talking to, so instead of pity, he feels disgust. He can see her as a slave-owning monster. But if that monster loves her sister and lost her parents, that makes it worse. A monster is monstrous by nature, but a person has a choice – and if Clythia chose to be the way she is, that makes it all the more horrifying.

“And how did you end up in charge of an army?”

“Oh, Mara figured the best way to get power in this world was the military, so I kind of just tagged along. The King would have preferred to have me in court, but that life wasn`t for me. Besides, Mara and I don`t do well apart.”

Jurian nods and tries hard to look like he cares. In truth, he is annoyed. He was meant to get information, damnit, yet here he is, chatting with an enemy commander and having gained exactly nothing. In retrospect, his plan to use Clythia for information doesn`t seem as smart anymore.

Oblivious as always, Clythia continues chatting. “Besides, the military is fun, don`t you think?”

Jurian gives a non-committal shrug. No, he doesn`t think the military is fun. What is wrong with her?

“Well, most times”, Clythia continues, “Lately, they had Mara and me training new recruits. The training camp it just horrible. It always rains there – it`s by the coast, you know, in one of Hybern`s wettest areas. Whoever decided to have it built there should be hung.”

Jurian blinks at her. There is no way she is actually this stupid. She did not just give him a major hint on where to find their secret training camp.

“And these recruits.” Clythia rolls her eyes. “You cannot believe how incompetent they are! They can`t even shoot straight.”

But even they probably wouldn`t be stupid enough to tell an enemy commander about the position of one of their secret camps. “It takes some time to get them properly trained.”

Clythia nods and stifles a yawn.

“Tired?”, Jurian asks.

She nods. “We spent most of the night marching south.”

A cold feeling settles into Jurian`s stomach. Most of the night. South. Amarantha`s army was not supposed to be marching all night, or south. They should have spent the night at some camp over a hundred miles west from here, and then set off to march east in the morning. If they were on the march all night and in the wrong direction, the trap Miryam and Drakon set failed. And if they aren`t marching east like their reports claimed, then where is it they are going?

The answer hits Jurian like a punch to the gut. South. He jumps to his feet.

Clythia`s eyes widen. “Don`t”, she says and thereby confirms his worst fears, “Amarantha promised you`d be fine, but only if you aren`t there.”

Jurian doesn`t listen to her. He races for his horse. The stallion seems to sense his unease, he throws up his head and whines. Jurian jumps into the saddle. He nudges his horse in the side and sends it into a sprint, back towards his camp.

He smells the smoke one mile off already and knows that he is too late. But nothing could have prepared him for what he sees when he reaches the camp.

He wasn`t just too late by minutes but hours. His camp lies in cinders, most of the fires have already burned out, only a few embers still glow faintly. All that`s left of his camp is ashes. Ashes and the corpses of his soldiers. So many corpses lying everywhere.

In a daze, Jurian dismounts. Slowly, he walks through the camp. Stares at the dead humans all around him.

This is a nightmare. It has to be. Any moment now, he`ll wake up, drenched in sweat and screaming. This can`t be real. It can`t.

But he doesn`t wake up. He just keeps walking, staring at the dead soldiers lying on the ground where they were killed. Some of them barely show any injuries at all, others are so mutilated that they are barely recognizable.

Jurian knows most of the dead. They are the soldiers he sat with at the fire in the evening. Soldiers he comforted when they sat shaking after battles. Soldiers he trained. He knows their faces, their names, their stories. All dead now. Gone.

Jurian keeps walking, stumbling through the ashes. He only stops when he reaches the centre of the camp.

Huge stakes have been rammed into the ground in a perfect circle where the centre of the camp should have been. And on them… The bodies that hand on the stakes are so mutilated that they are little more than slabs of meat. Jurian stumbles backwards until he is standing in the centre of the circle. He recognizes Tia first. Then the others – his captains and commanders, the friends.

A sob escapes his chest. His legs give out from under him and he drops to his knees into the ashes. There is a low noise, like that of a dying animal, and it takes him a moment to realize that it`s coming from him. It seems that his body already understood the truth his mind is still straining against: This is truly happening.

Time stops moving. Jurian isn`t sure if he`s breathing. His mind appears frozen.

He doesn`t know how long he`s been kneeling on the ground when someone says his name from behind him. Instincts have him jumping to his feet and whirling around.

Drakon, with his ornate uniform and his snow-white white wings looks so out of place between all the death that Jurian just stares at him stupidly for a few heartbeats. It doesn`t make sense that he is here, he doesn`t fit the picture at all.

Drakon takes a step towards him. “Thank the Cauldron, you`re alive. We thought –“

Jurian shoves Drakon backward hard enough to make him stumble. “Where were you?” Drakon lifts his hands like he`s trying to get him to calm down.

“You should have been here!”, Jurian shouts.

He lifts his hands to shove him again, but someone catches his arm.

“Jurian, stop!”, Miryam tells him firmly.

But he can`t stop. He keeps struggling, flailing wildly around. Miryam catches his other arm as well and holds on. No matter how much Jurian struggles against her, she is stronger.

“Jurian.”

He keeps struggling.

“Jurian, stop.”

Jurian stops moving. He looks from Miryam, who still has him grabbed by the wrists, to Drakon, who stands a few steps back and looks like he`s one second away from bolting.

All strength leaves Jurian. He sags against Miryam, who lets him glide to the ground. Suddenly, he is sobbing into her shirt. His body is shaking so hard that he thinks he might fall apart. Miryam whispers something to him and gently rubs his back, but her words don`t register.

“It`s my fault”, he manages to get out between sobs.

He is sure that Miryam objects, but he doesn`t feel inclined to listen. He knows it`s his fault. It was him who insisted Miryam go with Drakon. Maybe if she`d been here, things would have ended differently. And he – he flirted around with an enemy commander while her sister slaughtered his soldiers. If he hadn`t been so stupidly focused on Clythia, he would surely have seen the trap well before it sprung. If it wasn`t for Clythia, none of this would have happened.

Anger shoots through Jurian like a glowing-hot knife. It is even enough to get him to stop crying. He lifts his head.

Miryam is kneeling before him. Her dark eyes are full of concern, but her face is guarded in a way that usually means she doesn`t want anyone to catch her real feelings.

“It wasn`t my fault”, Jurian whispers, voice hoarse, “It was theirs. Amarantha and Clythia.”

With shaking fingers, he fumbles for the knife at his belt and draws it. Miryam frowns slightly, but before she can grab for his hand again, Jurian draws the blade over his palm. She winces.

“I`m going to destroy her”, he whispers and watches his blood drip into the ash-stained ground. “I`m going to destroy both of them. I won`t stop until they are both dead.” He looks around the circle of his dead soldiers and feels a fire flicker to life inside him. “I swear it.”

-----

Tags: @croissantcitysucks @sjm-things

[kingoftheravensarchive]

                  SEEKING OUTLAWS // YEEHAW TIMES

because I absolutely fail at the concept of a proper verse/plot name I guess.

The overarching plot of this verse involves Loki and his children, but side characters will obviously have their own tidbits. Loki came to Midgard after Angrboða was killed by Odin’s hand, fleeing to the one realm he felt his three children would be most securely protected. Since then, he has settled comfortably and his kids have grown and become their own unique individuals.

Muses/blogs involved thus far (minus this one):

@frostkingoftheapocalypse​ (Hætta)

@apogexn​ (Vasilija, Keir, and the kids)

@brazenlass​ (Nicole)

Mutuals are 100% welcome to get in on this as much or as little as they want tbh. Put them in the main plot if you want or somewhere on the side. Character’s personalities will be mostly if not exactly the same as they are in their main verses.

The only ship set in stone for this verse as of right now is Hætta and Loki.

LOKI, HEL, JÖRMUNGANDR, AND FENRISÚLFR

The year is 1868 and Loki Iversen is a businessman who deals with railroads. He is not precisely as he seems (a suave, charming man with nice teeth for his presumed age) and neither are his three adult children: Eric [Jörmungandr], Helena [Hel], and Fredrick [Fenrir]. Some one hundred years before, Loki fled Jötunheimr with his children after Angrboða was murdered by Odin’s hand, assuming the planet was the only place his kids would be safe. Since then, they have respectively settled and Loki has made a name for himself as a businessman, his younger two children working alongside him.

Fredrick, the eldest of the three, made it clear early on that he had no intentions of taking on the business for himself. Instead, he travels and often finds himself in trouble with not merely the law but mob groups, unsavory cowboys, and debt collectors. It is not uncommon for Loki to bail his son out of tight spots (or jail). Fredrick eventually goes on to father twin boys (Harry and Solomon) and this alone is the needed push for him to consider withdrawing from his life of risk and settling down.

Unfortunately, an organized crime unit (that I do NOT have a name for yet RIP) has it out for Fredrick and his rich father and one night they kidnap the eldest Iversen. Fredrick remains in their custody for a couple of weeks before they send word to his father with their (ridiculous) demands and the painstaking instructions that must be taken in order to free his son alive. Despite Loki’s capabilities (e.g. his immense strength) he’s not willing to part with the extensive amount of work he’s put into his business, the one thing he feels will keep his children upright in this cutthroat world, so he places an advertisement seeking aid from some individuals capable of overturning an entire mob. Free his son alive whilst keeping his business unmarred.

VASILIJA AND HÆTTA

This pair have been partners in crime (and time, if you will) since the middle most years of Vasilija’s reign as pirate. They have fought a great many battles, endured many an unsavory drunkard, and swindled equally as many rich buffoons. Vasilija is arguably the brains of the operation, not because Hætta lacks any but because she’s bossy and knows precisely what she wants and how to obtain it. Their shared inhumanness certainly keeps them together as well as an innate understanding of one another born from the decades spent in each other’s company. In this year of 1868, they’re notable outlaws, cowboys, who make their living taking on the unsavory commissions no one else wants to do (assassinations, threats, etc). They travel often, rarely lingering in a place for long.

During their travels they find the poster advertising the huge reward sum in return for locating a missing adult man. An address is posted but no other identifying information. The pair come to find out via well-placed questions that the advertisement was placed by a filthy rich businessman whose eldest son has gotten himself into a pickle with a local mob gang. The promising reward is enough to garner anyone’s attention, especially two prominent and skilled individuals such as themselves, but Vasilija thinks they may even be able to steal more from the businessman if they play their cards right. A risky move that would undoubtedly leave them rich enough to do whatever the hell they please until at least the turn of the century.

SIDE CHARACTERS

Keir is in this verse, as well, and aware of Loki’s true history. He himself is a raven posing as a man in the hopes of settling in society. He becomes Loki’s business partner and generally handles the less exciting but still equally as important matters that the others don’t have time for.

Helena primarily deals with the financial bits of the enterprise, finding comfort in numbers. She is headstrong and known for her quick temper, especially in the face of injustice and misogyny.

Eric has a head for daydreaming and doesn’t care to have a very in depth part in his father’s business. He helps where help is needed but prefers to paint and read.

TL;DR VER.

Loki is rich businessman. Eldest son gets in trouble with a mob group. Loki seeks outlaws to help retrieve him for a hefty reward. Vasilija and Hætta are a duo of outlaws who want to take the job. Ensue whatever nonsense happens next. Room for lots of stuff in-between the lines, in the plot, or on the side.

Loki is not the Raven King but is still an alien. Keir is still a raven.

[draconida]

Shance Fic Recs (Part three)

More Shance! With Kuro and Sven too. 

82- Mysteries Become Reality by FullmetalDude1 [M/M/M/M, Sven and Kuro]

The world is full of mythical creatures that are slowly but surely being integrated and accepted into society, but a couple of hate crimes and BS still happens.

Lance is a human in this world, doing his best to help Mythics out even if he's got a bad history.

Then he meets 4 super hot Mythics in collage and he is gone, but he'll never admit that.

At least, not until he's been held for ransom by a gang of haters.

83- i don't have too much but i know enough by quiddative

Lance shot a panicked look at Keith but the asshole just laid there uselessly. “Don’t look at me like that,” he snorted. “They’re your kids, after all.”

What?

“What?” Lance and Allura yelled.

Allura turned to Kolivan with narrowed eyes. “Explain,” she demanded.

Kolivan looked very much like he wanted a drink. “The two of them appear to be the Red and Black Paladins’ children from the future.”

(Or: Lance and Shiro's children appear from the future and emotions ensue.)

85- Remember Me by boredomsMuse

Back before Kerberos, Lance and Shiro had been close. Boyfriends, type close. Boyfriends who'd meet each other's parents, all of them, type close.

Except, none of the Paladins know that. Not even Shiro.

86- Starlight Starshine by stirlingphoenix

'He’s beautiful', was the only thought Shiro’s mind could process as he watched Lance in person for the very first time. Those two little words repeated themselves on a loop over and over, making sure he’d never forget this moment. He’d always thought Lance to be exceedingly attractive, but seeing him in real life, as opposed to the TV screen or a movie poster nearly blew his mind.

Shiro had every intention of getting out of there before he ended up doing something embarrassing. Nevermind the fact that Lance wouldn’t know who he was, he still wasn’t too keen on potentially making a fool of himself. But just before he could make a beeline for the exit, the sound of his proper last name echoed throughout the air, forcing him to stop dead in his tracks.

“Excuse me, Mr. Shirogane?” The nervousness that plagued his caller’s voice hit Shiro’s ears wrong, yet it was still oddly familiar to him, as if he’d heard that same tone over a hundred times before.

As it turned out, he had, just never like this. Turning around, he came face-to-face with the lead of the production, the one and only Lance McClain himself, standing before him with a curious, perhaps even anxious expression covering his face.

87- Hi by Nevermoree

"in a world where you have your soulmates’ first words tattooed in your skin, he, obviously, has… well, that."

88- Te prefiero a ti by Nevermoree [Explicit and only spanish]

Lance has been in love with Shiro since he can remember, so when he have the opportunity to spend the night with Shiro, he have decided not to waste it. It's supposed to be a one-night deal, but things do not always work out the way you plan.

89- How to get a hot, shape-shifting dragon-man to fall in love with you by charlotteXOyates [Explicit]

Discovering a new species is a dream every reptile expert can relate to, so Lance's excitement upon meeting Shiro, a man with scales and a dragon tail, is understandably through the roof. What's less understandable, however, is Lance's sudden desire to help the dragon-man with his rut…

90- Daycare, Toddlers, and a bit of Love by starryrosez

Lance falls in love with the father of a boy he looks after in daycare.

91- Claws by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and omegaverse] Lance had clawed his way through the Galra military ranks. This was the most important day of his entire existence. He was being assigned to a commander. One of the most ruthless commanders in the Empire. He had to make a good impression.

It would be just his luck that he'd be stricken with the beginnings of a ruthless heat. He knew the suppressants made him sick, but he took them anyway. Anything was better than a fucking stupid heat. He couldn't very well look strong with his heat boring down on his shoulders.

But puking at the feet of your new commander doesn't exactly make you look like a model Galra either… hindsight Lance supposes. 92- Lance's Guide on How to Embarrass Yourself in Front of Your Insurance Adjuster by Eilera

“This is for my mama, Hunk. She was so worried about this whole thing. They just finished renovating. I’m not gonna let her down. If my name isn’t Lance fucking Hernandez Martine-holy fuck he’s gorgeous.”

“Oh no. No. Lance do-“

Lance didn’t even hear him because there was a fucking gorgeous god walking up the path to the front door.

(In which Lance is helping his mama with an insurance claim and he was not prepared for the smoking hot insurance adjuster.)

93- designated drivers anonymous by kalakauuas

"It’s halfway through his sixth attempt at a puppy-filter pic that the bathroom door whooshes open wider than Lance’s mouth trying to prompt the puppy tongue onto the screen. Right when Lance screeches in surprised terror, he takes the picture.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was occupied,” says the person who threw the door open, his hands rushing to cover his eyes quicker than Lance would run from his mom’s chancla.

The good thing is, aside from vaguely humiliating selfie poses, there’s nothing to see here."

Lance and Shiro meet through a shared hobby, if you consider hiding in bathrooms during house parties a hobby.

94- Tris for Guys by quiddative

“Um, my name is Lance McClain-Reyes and I have a personal training session,” Lance said, though it came out as more of a question than a statement.

The girl hummed and typed something on the computer. “Ah, right on time,” she said. “Looks like you’ve been paired up with Shiro. If you’ll just take a seat, he should be out in a few minutes.”

Shiro?, Lance thought as all the gears in his brain suddenly screeched to a halt. I must have heard wrong. There’s no way—

“That’s okay, Pidge, I’m already here,” said a deep and familiar voice just behind Lance.

(Or: What do you do when the guy you've been crushing on turns out to be your personal trainer for the day?)

95- easier to lose by quiddative [Explicit]

Shiro is at the peak of his NHL career. Unfortunately, being famous has its downsides, particularly when it comes to dating. And that’s on top of the fact that he’s still in the closet. However, a chance meeting with college student Lance, who seems to be the only person in the entire city who doesn’t know who he is, gives him hope that maybe he won’t die alone after all. Just as long as he can keep his identity a secret.

96- A Halloween Tail by Cathwren

Lance just wanted to have a fun Halloween night, but when homophobic idiots give him trouble he makes a new friend in the dashing young knight that swoops in to save the day. Secrets are shared and Lance can easily say he got a night to remember...and maybe even a boyfriend.

97- 13 stories for Halloween by liddie [Explicit]

A collection of 13 Shance stories for the month of October featuring (but not limited to): vampires, kitsune, werewolves, demons, cursed scarecrows, ghosts, merpeople, oni and whatever else comes to mind!

98- Head Start by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit]

Werewolves. If there was one scent Lance knew above all else, it was Werewolves. Being born from a werewolf father and a human mother Lance knew werewolves. So when he got to the Galaxy Garrison and smelled werewolf in his class his first thought was to make peace with the other wolf.

Sure, Lance was only a half blood, and the closest to transformation he'd ever gotten was sharpened canines and claws during a full moon, but he was still wolf. As such, wolves should stick together. He left his family pack behind to come to the Garrison, maybe he'd be able to form a new pack here.

99- Forgotten Gods and Scales Like Jewels by keir [Explicit and Dubious Consent]

Lance has spent his entire career searching for the elusive and forgotten god of war and lust, a god made of part man, part snake. The pieces are there, and once Lance puts them together, he and his team discover the long forgotten temple dedicated to the naga god, but more lies in store for Lance than he could have ever dreamed of discovering.

100- Of God's and Fae's by MommaVanillaBear

A fae of the ocean, casted aside and alone made the dangerous trek to the festival of lights, and though the way back should have been easy, his steps become lost and the ocean he searches for is replaced by thick foliage and towering trees. Caught by a creature that claims to be an Earth fae, the one of the ocean must spend a month living in the forest or else the God who watches the forest will become aware of him. And there was no way the ocean fae could fight or hope to escape the wrath of a god.

101- Pornstar Lance by Ryuani [Explicit]

Lance used to work as a pornstar but space kinda stopped that.

102- Take a Chance by nuuuge [Fem!Shance]

Lance really just wants the hot Basketball prodigy to notice her.

103- Yearning Touch by CirqueBordello (CircusTalia) [Explicit and Sven]

Sven volunteers to be part of an experiment. But when that experiment makes a change in his body, Lance is there to support him but also realizes he likes the new Sven.

104- The Shirogane Triplets by MermaidLance [Explicit, Trans Lance and the title]

Three Boys

One Lance

He's in for an adventure.

105- Next Time, Pack Them Separately by Quiddity

“So, uh, you in Detroit on business?” Lance asks. The guy glances at him and for a second Lance thinks that he’s terribly misread his mood and he’s about to be snubbed in the worst way. Then he notices the dark circles under his eyes. The man’s totally exhausted. “No,” the man says, shuffling together his papers and securing them together with a wicked looking alligator clip. “I’m headed to New York.” Lance perks up. “Oh! Me too! I’m headed there to meet up with- uh…” Lance is cut off when his neighbor unbuckles himself, stands, and pushes into the line of passengers with a muttered apology. Lance sits there, dumbfounded as the man opens the overhead compartment and pulls down his- Nope. That’s Lance’s bag he’s strapping over his shoulder. That’s his palm tree name tag, that’s his laptop, that’s his senior film project he’s been working on for the past six months and his external hard drive with only back up of three hundred hours of work just shambling down the aisle and off the plane. Oh no.

106- The Knotty Omega by keir [Explicit, omegaverse and little All/Lance]

Lance never saw himself doing porn, but the opportunity fell in his lap with a wicked smile and the smooth talk of Lotor, a producer. The omega finds himself at the center of attention for many horny alphas as he does the most taboo and engages in heat sex for the camera.

107- Double Trouble by liddie [Explicit, Kuro and Shiro]

When Lance agreed to help out at his grandma's flower shop during summer break, he didn't know that it meant managing the shop singlehandedly for months while she went adventuring off to Europe.

Sure, he needs to practice his magic with living things...and yes, plants are a good way to do that without bodies stacking up if something went wrong. But Lance can't even keep a dandelion alive to save his life, so how the hell is he going to keep the entire stock of his grandma's enchanted flower shop alive and healthy for four months?

The answer is simple. He's going to summon himself some help using the dusty old spell book he found in the attic.

It's too bad Lance's handwriting looks like chicken scratch on a good day…

108- To Drown In You by Val_Creative [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Humans are a fearful race, unable to conjure anything other than simpler, volatile emotions, or so Shiro’s mer-clan has taught him. Lance’s compassion and his openhearted empathy deepens Shiro’s need for more. And he’s only know Lance for the turn of a moon.

109- How Deep is the Love We Think We Know by mizufallsfromkumo [omegaverse]

It had been a considerable while since Shiro nested.

So long in fact he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

Until he yanked one of the Castle’s lounge couch cushions out from behind Pidge. No regard for the fact that she was using it. He just knew he needed that one because it was the softest of all the other cushions. Pidge’s surprised squeak as she toppled to the side didn’t even register with him for a moment.

Or at least not till Keith called him out.

110- Repayment by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit and omegaverse]

“I need you to do me a favor Coran.”

“Anything for you, son.”

Lance stepped forward, digging his wallet out of his pocket and slamming it down on the desk in front of him. “There is a man here, an alpha named Shiro. He lost his arm in a car accident.”

“Yes, Takashi Shirogane. It’s a shame what happened to him.” Coran looked away sadly.

“I want you to take this credit card and give him everything he needs. The best, top of the line products.” Coran looked down at the credit card pressed between Lance’s hand and his desk then back up at Lance. “Please?”

111- Dream a Little Dream by thinkpink [Explicit]

Shiro is an adult- he knows how feelings work. He definitely knows his own feelings. Right?

112- Telltale Blush by thinkpink [Explicit and Dubious Consent]

“So why don’t we just skip the part where you throw lines at me and I pretend not to be interested, and you can suck my dick instead.”

113- Dress to Impress by thinkpink

How did Shiro even get sweatpants in space? And why are they so god damn thin!

114- A Dragon by liddie [Explicit]

On the day of his wedding, Prince Lance is carried away by a fearsome creature of old. The remote island is a prison and the dragon his keeper, although Lance is not completely alone. A mysterious man named Shiro is also a prisoner of the dragon, but as Lance learns just who he is, he comes to realize there is more to Shiro than he first thought.

115- In Flagrante Delicto by gwendy1

in flagrante delicto (adverb)

Definition of in flagrante delicto: 1 : in the very act of committing a misdeed : red-handed 2 : in the midst of sexual activity

116- Black's Deal by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit and little Klance]

I’ll give you what you need to get what you want, but you only get two quintent. Do you agree?

“Yes.”

Or the story of Shiro taking over Keith's body in the time of his disappearance between seasons 2 and 3.

117- The Beast Of Pirate's Bay by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit and Major character death, but don't scary you. Happy ending]

A loud shriek filled the air, causing him to fall back onto the damp metal of the ship floor. “I’m sorry.” He whimpered, covering his ears as the sound continued to ring out.

As instant as the sound came it quickly disappeared, leaving Lance to tentatively uncover his ears. “Please,” he begged, tears escaping his eyes as he looked over the side of the boat again. “I won’t even enter your territory if you just bring me a juniberry flower!”.

118- The Lion, The Witch, and the Cursed Ghost by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit]

When lance goes to Kogane forest in search of the cat he saw plastered all over the news he ends up with a lot more than he bargained for. But he's not complaining.

The ghost floated up, arms crossed as he looked over the trees. “I’ll make you a deal.” Lance’s eyes brightened, he knew his excitement was obvious. But, he didn’t care. “If you can find me in this forest before the sun sets, I’ll take you to see Shiro. If not, you will leave this forest without a fight.” He turned and lowered down to Lance’s level again, holding out his transparent hand. “Do we have a deal?”

Shiro must be the cat.

Lance reached out, taking the hand, surprised when he actually felt contact. “Deal.” Before he could even shake the hand properly it was gone, along with its owner, only the flutter of leaves in the air showing he had even been there. Snatching up one of the leaves, Lance grinned. This ghost vastly underestimated him.

119- That's not a phone by CrypticGabriel [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance had a part-time job at the movie theater. During his job, he liked ogling at a frequent flyer named Shiro. But he never expected to catch him doing the unthinkable while watching a movie. And no. It didn't involve a phone.

120- Let's Play A Game by liddie [Explicit]

About to leave for a little vacation time at his grandfather's seaside cottage, Shiro gets a text from Allura asking if he can drop her friend Lance off at the beach on his way. He agrees, but is entirely unprepared for everything that Lance is.

121- How Do I "Casual"? by The_Busy_Beee

Sometimes Lance loves living in the same building as his best friends.

Sometimes he hates it with a passion.

Usually only when Keith's involved, however.

Or:

Lance brings home a guy and isn't sure how to handle the "morning after" situation. Keith is exhausted and thinks Lance has murdered somebody.

122- Spilling Secrets by The_Busy_Beee

Everyone knows the past never stays in the past.

Or:

Shiro finally meets the Blue Lane crew, Lotor is a shit, and Lance really just wants today to go well.

123- Good Girl by strawberrylovely [Explicit and Fem!Lance]

Shiro hears Lance masturbating in the team bathroom. He’s not sure whether to help or run away, so Lance makes the decision for him.

124- Beautiful Breed by Blue_Queen662 [Fem!Lance]

Kept in captivity for years, Lance had not had any contact with others like herself in a long while.

Shiro had been gone from the sea for years. From being separated from his pod for a long time, he had forgotten how it feels to be loved by a mate.

Shiro has been chosen to be Lance’s mate. For his strangth, speed and intellect; it was decided amongst guests at a dinner party that the Champion will mate with Zarkon’s prize pet.

125- my boyfriend's back (and you're gonna be in trouble) by heavenlyrare

The Galra and the Alteans haven't been at each other's throats, thanks to Prince Lance's and Commander Shiro's relationship.

Unfortunately, the rest of the universe doesn't seem to know that.

126- Missing Pieces by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit]

Shiro comes back from two tours overseas a changed man. He has one less arm and a lot more nightmares. His best friend Keith convinces him Yoga is the perfect form of meditation to help with his PTSD and he's skeptical at best....that is until he sees the instructor and is instantly in love.

127- Full Moons and the Mornings After by Impetus

Lance really needs to stop letting stray wolves into his apartment.

128- My Best Friend's Brother? How Cliche by orphan_account

Lance has been pining after Shiro since he was 14, and the last time he saw him before Shiro left to go to veterinary school had been embarrassing as hell. But, things were different now. 3 years had passed, Shiro was back, and Lance was a new and improved version of himself. This time, Lance wasn't afraid to do what he wanted to.

OR that one where Lance hasn't seen Shiro in years but when he goes to drop some food off at Keith's house he walks in on Shiro working out.

129- How To Use a Long Rest by avoidingavoidance [Explicit]

In which the team's game of Monsters and Mana isn't actually a game, and Lance takes good care of Shiro. Several times.

130- Just Take That Breath in Your Lungs by mizufallsfromkumo [Omegaverse]

When Shiro was younger, and freshly presented as an Alpha, he use to think about how things would be when he claimed his mate for himself.

Ideally it would be their wedding night, but it wasn’t a necessity. Shiro was fine with whenever moment arose and felt right. And when his intended mate would find it, Shiro would turn on soft music. They’d maybe dance a little, or speak soft words of love. Then the night would progress in a slow, gentle, and loving path towards claiming.

Because yeah, Shiro was a hopeless romantic at times.

Sue him.

But that was the furthest thing that was happening, Shiro thought as he and Lance flopped into the nest both of them had constructed over two weeks ago.

131- Can You Find the Path that Leads Back to My Heart by mizufallsfromkumo

Lance was just left to sulk in the cockpit. And wonder just where his relationship stood with his mate, who had his soul transferred and fused into a clone's body. A clone Lance had just continued on courting like nothing ever happened, because he didn’t know his mate had even died in the first place.

Lance never thought going to space would be filled with so much drama.

Much less, drama that made his life sound like really bad telenovela plot line.

132- Some Good Shooting by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance and Shiro had been nothing but a hurricane of spats and frustration since the switching of lions. And then quite suddenly...they weren't anymore. Hunk couldn't figure out what had changed between the blue and black paladins but the rest of the team just seemed happy the two were working together. Maybe a little too well in fact.

Unbeknownst to the others, really all it took to change the two paladin's attitudes toward each other was one hard kiss in the hangar doors.

Parts 1 / 2 / 3 

[kiliosthestarmaker]

Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2.     Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me. 

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6.     Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7.     Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8.     Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9.     Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12.  Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down 

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS 

I

ADORE

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22.  Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23.  Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24.  Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25.  Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26.  Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27.  Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.” 

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28.  Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29.  Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30.  Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31.  Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32.  Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents?? 

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37.  The first sentence or your current WIP

“Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44.  How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45.  How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

[knightcallie]

~Lilliana Ilene, Terry Iceheart~

@littleprincessintraining @historical-trash

They were under the table, blankets covering the top to isolate them from the world. Leo was sleeping on top of Terry’s chest, having tired himself from all the running and flying earlier. Terry had visited the apprentice home for Leo’s annual checkup.

It was quick, the usual things to make sure the toddler was healthy. He and Lilliana haven’t seen him in a while, pulling him under the blanket fort. He couldn’t fully fit, his feet sticking out from under the blankets. The two had laughed at that before asking how he’s been since the last time they saw him in the market.

It was nostalgic, the three excitedly prodding for details and giggling at the old memories. It only seemed yesterday when Lilliana and Atem were pranking Consul Valerius. It only seemed yesterday when Terry fell in a stand of oranges.

It, It went by so fast in all honesty.

When did Terry meet the love of his life? When did Lilliana meet hers? When did Terry start taking care of the baby he fondly called little lion? When did Lilliana start growing up into a wonderful woman?

It seemed so long ago, since they have all first met. It seemed like a blur, meeting everyone and being in this home altogether. Well, almost. Terry had his own home with a bunch of strays. He visited enough, they saw him enough in the market.

But it seemed like forever since they really hung out like this, before Leo was born. Simply just talking about whatever’s happening around Vesuvia, whatever was happening in their private lives. They were growing older, finding time like this with just the three was a bit rare.

Terry had Leo and his new partner Ada, and Lilliana had her shop and the Tennyson twins. He himself had his performances and Nato. This was… This was nice. It’s been a long time since he had a sit down with friends like this, under the table, blanket hiding them from the world.

He remembered the days when he pulled Miklos, Amabil, Cirrina, Keir, Wekesa, Tavi, and many, many more under a table. He remembered the days when they would spend hours upon hours talking about whatever came to mind, any gossip within the caravan.

He remembered them well, remembered the most important and ridiculous ones. Though, the ones close to his heart were ones like this: talking without a care in the world, laughing until their cheeks hurt.

“You should’ve seen the courtiers’ faces! We put stinky buggies in their shoes!” Lilliana giggled, a wide grin on her face.

Terry laughed softly. “I guess should’ve been there then.”

“You should have!” Lilliana turned her head towards him, a wide smile on her face. “Do you remember how bad the stink was? We could barely breathe!”

He joined in the giggling. “Everyone’s faces though! Every time they passed by someone, or even close!” He just burst into laughter, unable to continue.

It seemed her memory reminded her of the comical reactions, though she tried to smother it since Leo was sleeping. Though, he had already begun to stir.

“Baba?” the little boy mumbled.

“Sh, shh it’s ok little lion,” Terry whispered, sitting up. Wrapping his arms around him, he began to bounce the little boy. “We’re sorry for waking you.”

Lilliana sat up as well, looking a bit guilty. Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she held out a hand, to which Leo wrapped a hand around one of her fingers. “I’m sorry, Auntie Lilli didn’t mean to wake you,” she whispered, leaning slightly against Terry.

Atem’s laughter died down when Leo woke up, propping himself up on an elbow to watch the two. Lips parting, something seemed familiar about this. Tilting his head, the soft looks on their faces and the drowsy baby reminded him of a quiet moment between parents and child. But something was nagging him… What was it…

Lilliana turned to face him, tilting her head curiously. “Is something wrong Tem?”

Crimson red seemed to bleed into vermillion orange, the soft lavender to stormy blues. His heart lept in his throat, the aura also becoming familiar, calming. It’s been so long since he’s felt something like this. The appearance was quite similar, and the aura was much stronger.

Terry turned to look over too, and that completed the feeling. Appearance wise, it was still the clumsy orange, he was still silly dragon noodle. But aura-wise… he has grown to have a peaceful aura ever since he had Leo, becoming more understanding, patient. Perhaps it was because he became a father, his aura softening.

His heart slowed, pooling with soft tranquility. It’s been so long since he’s felt this, his eyes softening. This reminded him of the times back in the caravan, in Keir and Cirrina’s wagon. They were vastly different in there compared to their appearances in the public. So gentle, quiet in there compared to the loud, lively out there.

Atem’s face suddenly cleared, looking between the two with wide eyes. His entire body sagged, ever so slightly quivering. A single tear escaped his eyes, immediately earning the worry of the two.

“T-Tem,” she gasped, reaching a hand to wipe away the tear. “Are, are you okay?”

Terry’s face softened with worry, smoothing down Leo’s hair. “Tomato, what’s wrong?”

More tears fell from his eyes, trying to search for the rights words. Lips parting, nothing came out, heart jumping into his throat. Swallowing, he ducked his head, wiping at his eyes. What was with him? He shouldn’t get this emotional over something like this, but…

“I…” He swallowed, trying to stop crying. “It’s just…”

Lilliana tugged him closer, cupping his face. She wiped away his tears, meeting his watery eyes. “It’s okay Tem, we’re here.”

Terry scooched a little closer, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay, take your time,” he gently whispered.

Atem sniffed, slightly laughing at his predicament. “I just…” He twiddled his fingers, rubbed his upper arm, a bit unsure. This seemed familiar, trying to explain why he was crying, why he suddenly became emotional at a time like this. Wiping away any remaining tears, he replied:

“Thank you… Thank you for being home…”

It took a moment, a quiet moment for it to settle in, for the weight to be felt in the heart. The touch softly fell away at the realization, eyes wide with surprise. Lillian was the first to crack, tears welling up in her eyes. She pulled him close, rubbing her nose with his as she cried.

Her hands knotted in the fabric of his shirt, hugging him tight. “Thank you for being home too Tem,” she softly sobbed, burying her face in his chest.

His arms instinctively wrapped his arms around her, squeezing as he buried his nose in her hair. He rocked them slowly, gently. He glanced up to meet Terry’s heterochromatic gaze. His eyes softened, adjusting his hold.

“Thank you for being home too Clumsy.” A slight smile graced his lips as he opened an arm.

A soft huff of a smile left the Dragonborn. “Home is where family is,” he replied, moving to lean into Atem’s hold.

Atem softly laughed. “Yeah…” He leaned against Terry, sagging as his eyes flickered down to the stirring little cub. “Hi Leo baby, did we wake you?”

The ashy blonde boy mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“I don’t think he’ll go back to sleep,” Terry admitted.

Lilliana sniffed, wiping her eyes to look at the little boy properly. “Aw, sorry Leo…”

Terry sighed as she gently brushed away Leo’s locks. “Ah well, it happens.”

Leo sleepily blinked. “Babaaaaaaa,” he whined.

Atem laughed softly. “Sorry baby. Were we too loud?”

Leo pouted. “Baba, Auntie, Tito…” He yawned. “Very loud…”

“This is what happens when you have a home Leo,” Atem grinned. “Are you hungy?” Leo blepped in response, earning chuckles.

“Let’s see what the others made,” Lilliana suggested.

~~~

“Puppy, is there literally only going to be tea at this wedding?” Gabelle snorted in amusement.

“I’m sorry, Lilliana has good blends too. We narrowed down two from Nanay Noe though!” Atem sighed, looking over the possible decorations. “I forgot what the color palette was, oop.” There was a shifting fabrics and clattering of wood.

“Don’t lose all of them!” Gabelle called, nose wrinkling at the strong smell of lavender. “Oh, that’s too much,” they muttered, setting the cup aside.

“I’m not that clumsy!” Atem huffed, sitting on top of the table. “You know I would ask your opinion on the colors.”

They sighed dramatically. “Oh what a shame. If only my expert advice on color harmony also applied to non-living things.” The sunflower-colored specks dilated within the cerulean aura as he laughed, their eyes softening. “It seems to me you’ve found the others?”

As his laughter died down, the specks contracted back to their original size, but still glowing with softer tones. “Yeah, you’ve met them.”

“Have I?” They propped their chin on their hands. “Do tell.”

“You’ve met Toci and Clumsy Orange. They’ve… grown so much since we’ve first met.” His aura became soft. “We’ve come so far and… I just can’t believe it…”

Gabelle smiled, admiring the absolute peace his aura has been in for the last few weeks. “I’m glad you feel that way.” They picked up another cup. “You’re so close though, you’re nearly there.”

Atem huffed. “I figured as much.”

[emilia3546]

Shadowsinger Part 16 - Gwynriel

ACOSF Spoilers! Do Not read this unless you have finished ACOSF and the Azriel bonus chapter*

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

*****

Maddy was practically dancing with joy when Azriel's shadows cleared and she spotted a head of auburn hair beside him,

"You brought her!" She squealed, then calmed herself down, just long enough to make sure Azriel wasn't an impostor, "The stars are bright tonight."

"They shine with the moon." Gwyn narrowed her eyes, and Azriel chuckled, "It's a code, only Maddy and I know it, and now you, it's to ensure that neither of us is compromised." Gwyn nodded, and glanced around the clearing, "It's just us, I meet them one on one, some don't know the others' identities, Maddy does, but she's my second." 

"Okay," Gwyn nodded, and turned her attention to Maddy, "You were at the Hewn City, is that where you work?" Maddy shrugged,

"At the moment, but I can get into pretty much anywhere, although I'm not usually a 'guard' I was lucky that no-one noticed me last time." Azriel huffed in agreement, and Gwyn raised an eyebrow at him, "He thinks I'm reckless."

"Azriel said that?" Gwyn nudged him in the ribs, "You're one to talk!"

"Moving on," he muttered, rolling his eyes as both females lapsed into giggles, "Cauldron spare me," he mumbled, waiting for Gwyn at least to stop to breathe, "Maddy, c'mon, shut up." She snorted once more, but she did mange to quieten down, laughter still dancing in her eyes as she looked between Azriel and Gwyn. She was calm, relaxed, still alert, but she grinned at Gwyn as Azriel explained their position, and she smiled back, oh she could definitely get on with this. 

"I'll keep an eye on Keir, I wouldn't put it past him to try and stab you in the back with the darkbringers."

"Neither would I," Azriel's eyes were dark, his face near-unreadable as he spoke, "I've contacted those I can on the continent, but I want you on standby to head over there if we need." Maddy nodded, 

"What's Gwyn's role in this?"

"I'm helping Az with plans and communication, and I'm backup, I'm not planning on going into the field, if I fight, it'll be with my sisters,"

"You have sisters?"

"I had one, a long time ago, but I meant Nesta and Emerie, if it comes to fighting, I'll fight with them and the Valkyries." Shadows gathered around her at the mention of Catrin, and she could almost sense Azriel's worry for a moment before she smiled again. Once Azriel had finished with his list of discussions, Maddy grinned at Gwyn again, and pulled her aside, 

"I thought he'd never bring you along." She whispered, "He's such an idiot, he seems to think we might scare you off."

"He is an idiot," Gwyn glanced around to check that he wasn't listening, "But he's my idiot. And I'll be coming along all the time now, he was just waiting for me to ask, to say that I wanted to come." She offered Maddy another grin before crossing back to Azriel, and gripping his hand,

"Gossiping about me?" He chuckled, but before Gwyn could deny it, wind was rushing in her ears as he winnowed home. Gwyn stumbled on landing again, but kept her feet, somehow it was easier than when Rhys had winnowed her before,

"Az, why is it different when you winnow than Rhys? Isn't it the same?"

"Actually, no, I sort of shadow-winnow I guess, it's not true winnowing, so it different than when someone who can properly winnow does it, but I prefer it. I don't like it when Rhys winnows me anywhere, it's weird." Gwyn snorted,

"I know what you mean, it's disorientating, but you're not much better."

"Azzy? is Gwyn with you?" Gwyn stepped around Azriel, and grinned as she saw Theia stepping out of the house, 

"Oh, good, I just got a rather worrying letter from a friend, from Ironcrest." Gwyn didn't notice herself grasping Azriel's hand, didn't notice the way she looked across at him, unconsciously willing him to relax, 

It'll be okay, we'll fix it, whatever it is. Breathe. There was no way he could hear the words, but she thought them anyway, and he did seem to calm,

"Let's go inside," Gwyn muttered, following Theia towards the downstairs office, leading Azriel behind her, rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hands, and smiled when he stared down at where their hands joined. She could almost hear the thoughts running through his mind at that moment, so she gently lifted his hands, and softly pressed her lips against them, "These hands saved me, Az, you have nothing to be ashamed of." She whispered before finally going inside.

"Apparently Ironcrest is split down the middle, those who stayed, who are loyal, and those whose families have gone, who are accused of being rebels, I don't know if they all are or not, but she's worried that a civil war might break out if nothing is done."

"But the rebels themselves aren't back?" Azriel's voice was still strained, worried, but he still managed to keep a air of calm around him,

"No, it's just their families, wives and children, they're being threatened and picked on, I don't know what you can do about that, though."

"We can certainly do something, I'll head over there now," Gwyn nodded, 

"Let me just grab something for my hair, I'll be right back,"

"No, I'd like you stay here, Gwyn,"

"What? But-"

"It's sounds really unstable, you'll be a walking target for both sides, just let me go and check it out so I know what we're dealing with." She could push him, could force him to let her go, but it would only upset him, and her being there probably wasn't necessary, especially if he needed to be unseen, it was easier to hide alone. She sighed, 

"Just be careful, and be back as soon as you can."

"Thank you." He leaned down to kiss her quickly before slipping away, with Gwyn's gaze following after him as far as she could see him. She started at Theia's hand on her shoulder,

"He'll be fine, he's our Azzy." Gwyn huffed, but stayed staring after him, 

"I do worry about him. Especially at the moment, he still thinks I'll see this other side of him and leave, that his family will leave him, and he'll be on his own again. He doesn't quite understand that he can't scare me off." She finally turned to Theia, and found only understanding and hope in the female's face, "I don't know what to tell him to make him see that. War is horrible, but he's not, he's not, and he won't see that, he thinks he's irredeemable because of how he's been forced to survive," tears filled her eyes as she spoke, "And it hurts to see him thinking things like that, knowing that I can't make it go away, that I can't help him."

"You do help him. You should have seen him before he met you. You've brought him to life, and you've made them love you too," she gestured to the shadows hiding in the corner,

"Get over here, you busybodies," Gwyn chuckled, and laughed as they raced around her,

"Just tell him how you feel, all you have to do is be there, show him that he can't push you away, that you'll still be there through difficulties. It will take time for him to realize, for him to believe that he deserves you, but all you have to do is show him every day how much you love him." She chuckled at Gwyn's widened eyes, "It's so obvious, even if neither of you will admit it, just make sure you've got a contraceptive tonic," she joked,

"Oh, we're not, I mean, I don't think I can, not that I don't love him, and he's so gorgeous, but I just can't." Gwyn clapped a hand over her mouth, "I'm sorry, I just," she broke off at the tears in Theia's eyes as she closed the distance between them and cupped Gwyn's face in her hands,

"You can always talk to me."

"Thank you, I think I'll get there, but for now I'm still a bit scared, but less every day."

"We all are initially," We? Gwyn blinked her surprise, "Azriel thinks he was the product of an affair, and he's half-right, but I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth." Theia drew in a deep breath, and Gwyn waited, letting her gather her thoughts, speak in her own time. "It wasn't quite an affair, Azzy's father took what he could, but he couldn't take my heart, my courage, my love for my son, and whoever it was cannot take that from you. You are stronger than what happened, and it will take time, but when you want to make that choice, whenever it is, whether that is tomorrow or a hundred years from now, Azriel will be waiting for you, he will always wait for your choice." Gwyn smiled as she recalled his face when she had first kissed him,

"I know."

*****

It was difficult to hide in broad daylight, difficult but not impossible, and Azriel settled into a spot by the training pitch, almost wincing as one particular boy was beaten down again and again, insults spat at him, and it took all of Azriel's self control not to leap to his aid. He wasn't seeing that boy in that moment, all he could see was Cassian, remember the tears that he refused to allow to fall every time he took a fight for Azriel, every time Rhys' mother had to clean him up, every time the instructors punished him for something that wasn't his fault. Every jab from the other boys had him struggling not to squirm, their words were so similar to those old insults,

"Traitor," Bastard

"liar," Bastard

"Rebel," Bastard

"Where's Daddy gone?" That one hit home, and Azriel squeezed his eyes shut to avoid moving, only opening them at the sound of another voice

"Daddy's a traitor," Mommy's a whore. Neither of them had known what that had meant the first time it had been spat at them, both of them, but it was always Cassian who took the brunt of the insults, the beatings. And it was always Cassian who had sought the approval he had never been allowed to have from Illyria, and the way certain lords looked at him still made Azriel's stomach turn, made him want to punch their teeth in, but Cassian could fight his own battles, Cauldron knew he'd had to. The boy on the pitch shouted for the others to stop when he fell again,

"Daddy can't protect you now, little traitor." Azriel's heart bled for the boy, covered in mud, struggling to stand. He screamed when someone twisted his wing, and tried to crawl backwards away from them, but found himself crashing into someone's boots,

"Watch yourself, boy." The warrior shoved him back towards the other boys, and he fell straight back into the mud at their feet, curling into a ball to protect himself, sobbing at every hit. Azriel couldn't take it any more, and he cursed himself as he moved, crossing the pitch, ignoring every questioning glance, but he couldn't just watch,

"Hey! That's enough, leave him alone, can't you see he's down?"

"He's a traitor."

"Is he? And who decided that, you?"

"His father's gone with all the others."

"So? We do not judge the son by the sins of the father," Azriel spat as he helped the boy to his feet, catching him when he swayed on his feet and lifted him into his arms, "You lot are banned from training for a week. Understand?" They quickly nodded,

"Yes, Sir, sorry." They certainly knew who he was then, and the boy in his arms shifted and groaned in pain,

"It's alright, son, I've got you, can you tell where your mom lives?" He muttered an address just loud enough for Azriel to hear before his eyes rolled back in his head and flickered closed. The only signs of life were the slight rise and fall of his chest, and the sound of his breathing. Azriel nodded to the warriors across the pitch, and glared at the male who'd encouraged the bullies,

You and me, anytime. The other male dipped his head, breaking eye contact, and stepped away from Azriel, still glancing over his shoulder long after Azriel had left the pitch. There were clear signs of unrest as he walked through the town, some shops were empty, others full, others smashed to pieces, some houses too. He took a breath before knocking on the door that the boy had said was his mother's, and tried to offer a reassuring smile when a small female opened the door, cringing away from him when she recognized him,

"I haven't done anything wrong," she whispered, dropping her gaze to the floor,

"I know," she glanced back up, and gasped when she saw her son in his arms,

"Oh gods, what happened to him? Is he okay?"

"I think he will be. Some of the others took it upon themselves to single him out as his father's vanished with the rebels."

"Please, my husband is not a rebel, there's been some sort of mistake." She shook her head again and again as she gathered a bowl of water to clean her son up. "I don't know where he's gone, but he's not a rebel, please, I sent a letter, to, to your mother, you have to believe me, please."

"I do believe you, " Azriel said quietly, "I'm not here to question you, I'm here because I couldn't watch him get hurt any more, but I do need to understand the situation here, what more can you tell me?"

"I don't know a lot, the males clam up whenever a female is around, they don't stop us training, but they won't talk about the coming war, the rebels, or anything important around us, I've only heard a few things that I wasn't supposed to hear."

"Those are always the most useful things. Anything you have is great,"

"I suspect you already know that the rebels, and their sympathizers have gone, I don't know where, but there's been a lot of tension between loyalists and those left behind." She swallowed, and handed Azriel a cloth to hold while she went to fetch he healing kit, and she started in surprise when he started to help cleaning the mud off her son, "I've never met a male who'd help with anything like that," she whispered,

"You can't have met many decent males then,"

"No, I live in Ironcrest, I took the best there was, and I do love him, but he's still under the pressure from the others, the assholes, so he doesn't do any chores or anything, but he will sometimes cook for me, mostly if I've had a long day."

"It'll get there, one male at a time, it'll get there. You can help, raise your son to be a good male,"

"Will he come back? My husband? I didn't hear anything from him, one day he was here, and the next when I got back from fetching Callum from training, he was gone. No-one will buy my clothes any more, they say he's a disgrace, even my father looks the other way when I pass him on the street. My mother has been slipping me money, but I'm scared my father will notice, I can't survive without it, but if he catches her," she didn't need to finish her sentence for Azriel to know what she meant. "I know it's the same for others, some have brothers or sons that can still help, but anyone who doesn't, they won't accept our work, I used to be known as the best seamstress in Ironcrest, now nobody will buy my work, they say it's tainted with betrayal." Tears welled in her eyes, "And every day, Callum comes back with more bruises, I know sometimes getting a few little injuries are a part of training, but it's worse than ever before, I worry that one day they'll kill him,"

"I won't let that happen," Azriel swore, "I'll get back to Velaris, and we'll figure something out, thank you, write to my mother if you need anything else, or if there's anything else that happens,"

"Of course, thank you, Azriel." He nodded before slipping back outside, waiting for her back to be turned before leaving a little pouch of coins on the side, vanishing before she could turn back to see it.

*****

With Azriel gone, all Gwyn could do was find Nesta and Emerie, organize the Valkyrie trainees they already had, and plan for training the Illyrian females. There were some who had done some training, mostly youngsters, but Gwyn would never consider putting children in harm's way, never. Nesta huffed when they finally finished the numbers, 

"We only have thirty priestesses, and only fourteen who could possibly fight, but fewer who would actually do it." She muttered, "And Illyria, what was it, Em, about a hundred?"

"Yes, that have already had some training, but we should have time to get some intensive training set up, we can gather those who wish to fight into a new, temporary camp perhaps, get some of those more agreeable males to help training them, I doubt Az and Cass will be able to get over there often, we might be able to be there a bit more though." Gwyn nodded, 

"If what Theia said is happening is widespread, we may need to move some families for now anyway, are Rhys and Feyre back?" 

"I don't think so," Nesta said, "Feyre said she'd let me know when they got home, they're still inspecting the darkbringers as far as I know." She tried to hide it, but Gwyn couldn't miss the flash of worry in Nesta's eyes, and she smiled encouragingly at her, laughing when her head snapped sideways, to the doorway, to the crying. Cassian immediately handed Nyx to his mate,

"I don't know how to stop him crying," he admitted, and Nesta gently rocked him in her arms, crooning softly to the child, and he quietened for a moment, but wailed again, and Gwyn whispered for the shadows around her to go play with him. He screamed in delight when one of them tickled him, grabbing out at them, and giggling in delight. Gwyn smiled, and jolted at a gentle elbow in the ribs from Emerie,

"I didn't know you could control them," she muttered,

"Not as well as Az can, but they like me apparently, so they listen. It's been pretty recent though, they used to just be sort of fascinated with me, and now they occasionally whisper to me, I can't properly understand them, but sometimes I get a couple of words, or a feeling or something," Emerie raised an eyebrow, "You don't believe me!"

"I do believe you, I just think it's funny,"

"Oh shush," she muttered, "Stop that,"

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me like that,"

"Like what?" Emerie asked innocently,

"Like you're expecting some sort of grand reveal, you've been reading too many books," Emerie just chuckled and turned back to Nesta with Nyx, her face softening when her gaze landed on the sleeping baby. Emerie wasn't right for expecting some big declaration, Theia had said it was obvious, did Azriel know? Oh gods, she had to talk to him, it was getting dark, surely he would be home soon. At her worry and sudden confusion, the shadows darted back across to her, hiding her from view, and Gwyn swatted them away, mumbling that they were busybodies, but she did love them really, she loved more than just them. No matter how she tried to ignore it, to convince herself that it wasn't happening, she had to admit, she'd been falling for a long time now. Apparently so had Azriel and she wasn't going to run away any more, she loved him, and she wanted to make that choice, she wanted him, just him, for the rest of her life, and for some reason that thought didn't scare her any more.

[riverdale-is-just-okay]

Saving Grayse, chapter ten

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven

Riverdale x OC (Sweet Pea x OC)

Word Count: 2492

Summary: There’s a new member in the Serpents, a troubled girl, with a dark history and an unknown past with FP, but not all members of the gang are as accepting of the addition. Amber is distancing herself from the Serpents, mainly tall, dark-haired one. And Pea is getting desperate.

Warnings: pretty tame this chapter, I think, just a sad little puppy - or snake - named Pea.

A/N: I had a little trouble finishing this next chapter and I know it’s been over a month, but it’s finally done! I hope it is worth the wait. Oh, so there's a little flash back because I'm an idiot and I forgot to add in the chapter it was supposed to be in so, yeah, there's that. Enjoy! (And Happy 4th of July! my American friends).

Tag List: @everheart12 @maraadyyer @keirs-12@lolabean1998 @misskarynie @spokenforimagines @dinosaur-butt-nuggets @look-at-all-them-chickens @hakuna-your-matatas-darling (just let me know if you want to be added to or taken off the tag list for this or any other stories - also if they’re not working just tell me) (it’s been a little while so if I’ve not added you, just let me know).

“Graysie.” He smiles.

“You shouldn’t be here, J.” She looks up.

“I like to live on the edge.” He smirks.

She smiles. “And some of us don’t have a choice, it seems.”

“What have they done to you?” He sits on the porch step bedside her. He examines her face.

“What they’ve done so many times before.” She leans her head against the side of the trailer. He leans back too. “How are you?” she asks.  “After… I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be.” He sighs. “You know I thought, helping you get out would mean you were safe.” He shakes his head. “But you seemed to be hurting even more than before.”

“Too bad you flunked out of school, could have been my body guard.”

“I’m serious. FP was supposed to protect you, he promised.”

“And he’s keeping to that promise. It’s not him. It’s them. They really weren’t happy, which is why I kept everything a secret in the first place.”

“The fuckers, I’m gonna kill them.” He gets to his feet.

“Don’t be stupid.” She tugs at jacket, still seated. “Sit down.” He does. “I’m sick of arguments and fights and people getting hurt. I’ve had enough it.”

“Sorry. It’s just hard to hear them come back gloating about what they’ve done to you, all the time the Serpents are just stood by watching. Don’t understand how they could just let this happen.”

“They were angry. They thought I was a part of something they hate, even more than the Northside.”

“It’s no excuse. I don’t particularly like them, but I knew they were better for you than the Ghoulies were. I knew you deserve so much more. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or what they think you are. They have no right to get all high and mighty with us.”

“Well it’s all out now.” She lets out a deep breath.

“What do you mean?”

“I told them, all, everything. They know all of it.”

“And?”

“They tried to apologise. They pieced it altogether, my odd behaviour over the past few weeks. It makes sense to them now.  A little too late though.”

“You shouldn’t have had to explain to them.”

“I should hate you,” she says. “You are part of it, them. And I hate them for what they did. They ruined my life. Everything that’s messed up, it’s all because of them. They messed me up. How am I supposed to…”

“Would it be easier for you to hate me?” He looks to her. “I can stop bothering you. I know FP will keep you safe. I trust him.”

“You didn’t a moment ago.”

“I was just pissed. I wouldn’t have told him where you were if I didn’t trust him. And I do. And I can leave you alone, if that’s gonna make everything with the Serpents easier.”

“No.” She meets his gaze. “That wouldn’t make anything easier.” She looks down. “I hate them so much. They ruined everything. They ruined me. But… the scariest thing is, in the back of my mind, there’s the thought to go back to the Ghoulies. To just give up. It feels like it’s the only thing that will end all of this shit leaving has caused. You wanted me to come back, anyway.”

“I wasn’t serious, Amber.” He never uses her first name. “You will never go back there. I will do everything to make sure that doesn’t happen. You belong here, the Serpents are good, I can’t believe I’m saying that, but they are, better for you then we were. This is your home, it always has been, your place is here. You belong with and as a Serpent. You hear me.”

“The Serpents were my saving grace.” She laughs, then shakes her head. “The light. But I’m not so sure now. They can say what they want, about you lot, but you’re the only one who’s always there, no matter what. They would probably slit your throat for just being here, yet here you are. You’re too good.” She shrugs. “They claim they’re better than the Ghoulies, but they were so shitty to me, he was… he said I was disgusting.” Her voice catches.

“So his words are as harsh as his beatings.” He shakes his head. “Who even named that fucker? Sweet Pea? Have to be kidding me, nothing sweet about him.”

“He has his moments.” She smiles. “We were…” She looks down. “Before he found out, but that doesn’t matter now. It’s done.”

“You don’t deserve this life, I’m sorry all of this is happening to you.” He wraps his arm around her shoulder, she leans into his side.

“Not a lot of people deserves half the shit they’re faced with. Life is a test of strength and I don’t think I’ve got any left.”

“Of course you do,” he whispers. “You’re gonna show them, Amber Pendleton Grayse cannot be broken.” He smiles. She smiles.

“Oi.” The two, still in one another’s arms, look up. Pea stands at the bottom of the steps. They hadn’t even notice him walk up.

“Don’t start.” She lifts her head, sitting up.

“What is he doing here?”

“He’s my friend.”

“After what you told us, what they made you do? I don’t get it.”

“It wasn’t him. That wasn’t anything to do with him. He’s…” She looks back to her friend with a smile. “He’s the reason I was able to get out of it. He helped FP. Not that I need to explain it to you. I’ve done enough of that for today.”

“I thought… so he’s not hurting you?”

“No.” She stands. “And he never has. Probably the only person who hasn’t.” Jonny stands too. “Not all of them are bad, just like not all the Serpents are good, which I was lead to believe.” She steps down one step so she’s eye level with him.

“Amber, he’s not-”

“I’m not what?” Jonny stands by Amber.

“-good.”

“You can talk about being ‘good’. You assumed to have the whole picture and you left her to get beat up while you watched.”

Pea looks to Amber, who’s eyes are down, then back to the boy. “By your deadbeat junkies.”

“I tried to stop them, but I wasn’t there, there’s not much I could have done. You, however, look at her face. You did that. She got a boot smashed into her stomach repeatedly while you looked the other way. So don’t you dare come over here, shouting. You don’t deserve her.”

Pea stands still, staring blankly. He wants to fight back, he wants to defend himself, but he knows he can’t. He’s right. He did nothing to help her. He jumped to conclusions and allowed her to get hurt. It killed him not to step in, but he thought he knew everything and he left her. He’ll never forgive himself for not keeping her safe.

“And at least I didn’t say the stuff you did and make her-” Jonny continues before being interrupted.

“Enough,” she snaps. “Pea…” she sighs, then looks to Jonny. “I told you, no more fighting or arguments.” She pushes the boy to get to the door. “Go home both of you. Pea, I’m fine, okay? And J, you shouldn’t be over here, it’s not safe for you.” The latter boy pulls her into a hug. He whispers something into her ear. “I know. And you know I do too,” she whispers back.

Pushing past Sweet Pea, Jonny makes his way across the trailer park and disappears into the dark. The two are left staring at each other, she opens the door, but pauses.

“What did you think was going on?” she asks. “Did you think I was on friendly terms with them? I got my head smashed against a wall by two of them, not to mention everything else they did to me.”

“I just thought they were pissed you left. What happened in Greendale with him… I assumed.”

“Right. You assumed.” She nods and closes the door.

A few days later…

Amber sits crossed leg on the couch, blankly staring at the TV. Jughead sits beside her with his laptop on his knee and FP is slumped in the chair. The two of them taking it in turns to steal glances at the unmoving girl. She chooses to ignore their protective behaviour, mainly because the attention is unwanted. There’s a loud bang on the door. FP hops up leaving the two teenagers unbothered by the sudden interruption.

“What?” He leans against the door frame.

“Is Amber here?” Sweet Pea stands on the porch with Toni and Fangs behind him.

FP turns back to the girl, who reluctantly looks up. He smiles and she nods getting up.

“We’re headed to the Wyrm.” The three shuffle in.

“Okay.”

“Do you want to come?” Toni smiles. “Girls vs. boys pool game?”

"I have plans."

"With who?" Jughead closes his laptop.

"Northsiders?" Pea asks.

"Maybe." She shrugs.

"Can I come?" Jug asks standing.

"Were you invited?" She ties her laces and pulls her jacket off the hook.

"No."

"Then there's your answer.”

“They blanked you too.” Pea steps forward meeting her gaze. “It’s liked you’ve forgot that.”

“Yeah, but that’s all they did. They didn’t say the stuff you did. And Veronica and Reggie were the only two who didn't seem to care. They gave me a chance.” She looks back to the older man. “See ya, FP."

"Back by ten."

"I know.” She smiles, pulling the door shut behind her.

“She keeps blowing us off.”

"And?” FP frowns. “Look she'll come round eventually. And if she doesn't you've only got yourselves to blame."

"We didn't know."

"But you knew her, even if just a little. And you didn't even try and figure out what was going on. You just assumed and blanked her.”

“I know-”

“Didn't even give her the opportunity to explain. I'm not surprised she's mad. She had to explain all that to a bunch of people who had no business knowing just to get you to talk to her. Just to stop herself from coming back from school every day with a bloody face.

“Amber?” Pea stands by her desk. She looks up to meet his gaze, her face remains unbothered. “Can I talk to you?”

“You okay, Amber?” Reggie looks from the looming boy to the girl still sat beside him.

“Of course she’s all right,” Pea snaps. “It’s nothing to do with you, mutt.”

Reggie scoffs getting to his feet. “At least I’m not a filthy snake.”

“Fine line, Reggie,” Amber warns standing, she shrugs to her chair where her own jacket hangs. “You can go,” she tells him. “I’m fine, I’ll see you later.”

“Keep walking, dog.”

“Do I have to remind you, you’re on the edge too, Sweet Pea?” She glares, then nods to the former boy who escapes the situation.

“Please, Amber, I’m-”

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“I’m sorry, for what I said, for what I did. I didn’t mean it.”

“You’ve got a habit of saying things you don’t mean, haven’t you?” She collects her bag and begins her leave out the door. He follows behind.

“Am-”

“You meant what you said.” She turns back. They stand opposite one another, with her looking up and him looking down. “You meant it. And that’s okay. You’re a Serpent. Serpents don’t like Ghoulies. That’s what you’ve been taught. That’s just the way it is.”

“You’re not one of them, you’re one of us. You’re a Serpent. It’s in your blood.”

“And this is on my skin.” She pulls at her shirt showing off the top portion of the black illustration. She moves her eyes away.

“And so is that one.” He steps forward placing a hand to her side. “You’re one of us,” he repeats in a rushed voice. She flinches under his touch. “I’m sorry, I…” He drops his hand. “Please, I lo- I’m sorry.”

“I know. But I can’t get that look on your face and what your words out of my mind.” She meets his gaze. “That’s just the way it is.” She shrugs, then leaves him standing all alone in a crowded hallway.

A few days later…

"Hi.” Reggie pauses by Amber’s locker, a big smile on his face. She smiles back thinking to their conversation a few days earlier.

"Hey," Reggie says catching up to Amber. His eyes widen at the sight of her, but he doesn’t draw attention to it. "I was wondering if you wanted to get some food at Pop's?"

"I don't think so." She shakes her head. "Especially now, I'm not really allowed out, aside from school."

"Oh," he sighs. "But you wouldn't be alone. I'm down for beating up anyone who bothers you."

"Even so." She shrugs.

"I get it." He nods. "You don't trust me?"

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "There's stuff I struggle to tell people or even say out loud to an empty room. But that stuff has resulted in me holding no trust with anyone. Sometimes I don't even trust myself." She shrugs. "It sounds stupid I know-"

"It doesn't."

"I began to trust the Serpents, look where that got me. None of them talk to me, even to glance in my direction seems difficult for them... they stand and watch as I get kicked and punched by the people who made me this way to begin with." She bits her lip, a tear escapes. "I'm hated, by everyone I've known. I'm hated for me, for what I represent. And that's something I can't change."

"I don't hate you." She's silent. "You need a ride home?" he asks. "Would be unfair for you to get jumped, before that's even stopped bleeding." He nods to her cheek. The diluted drops trickle down her purple-ing skin.

She nods. "And thank you for not asking me to explain. And we will go get food soon."

"Come on." He goes to put an arm around her shoulder, but pauses.

"I don't mind. It’s okay."

He pulls her into his side and leads her down the hall. She lowers her head as she passes the group of gawking Serpents.

“I still own you a Pop’s meeting.”  She closes her locker. “Come to collect?”

He nods. “Friday?”

She smiles. “Yeah.”

“See you then.” The bell the rings and he heads to class, leaving Amber stood alone. Her eyes meet Pea’s again. He smiles. With her head down she turns away and walks down the hall.

“Not too late, Amber,” FP calls.

“I know.” She smiles then closes the door. She sighs seeing who’s stood waiting at the bottom on the trailer steps. “Why are you here?”

“Jughead said you had a date with a Bulldog.”

“He’s a writer, they elaborate for effect.”

“Don't go, Amber, please.”

“I have to.”

“No you don't.”

“I made a promise.”

“Thought they were redundant.”

“Maybe not.” She reaches the bottom step. “Bye pea.”

A/T: Thank you for reading, hope you’re still enjoying it, it means the world that you take time to read my story. (Sorry it took a little while).

Thanks again, all my love,

Oli x

*main blog: a-girl-stuck-in-a-fantasy-world

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 19//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

A little late today, and with some minor tumblr glitches ><, but here’s chapter 19! Enjoy loves! 

XXX

Being on strict bed rest was going to be a lot harder than I originally anticipated.

After the first couple of days, wherein Madja assured my mate and I that I was making excellent progress in my recovery, I began to grow mindlessly bored. During those first few days, Rhys continued his vigil at my side, but mercifully slept and ate when I did. He reopened his line of communication with our friends in the estate, talking with them mind-to-mind and updating them on my condition. He also relayed any messages they had for me, allowing me past his mental shields so I could hear their words directly. After hearing Mor practically beg to see me after the umpteenth time, I informed my mate that it was time to put an end to our isolation period. His male-bonded instincts made him reluctant at first, but after I reminded him of the instructions given to him by our healer—to allow our friends, our family, to take care of the both of us, he acquiesced.

Now, a week later, I was more than content when they took turns visiting me. Sometimes they would visit in pairs—my sisters, Mor and Amren, Cassian and Azriel, or sometimes all at once; I was almost never bored now that I had their company. However, this period of confinement to my bed set the others on a new protective edge I had never seen before. Before the incident, they had all done their best to help me whenever I was uncomfortable, or when some pregnancy-related symptom reared its ugly head. When I would mention the strange dreams I had at night, Amren brought me a book on the philosophies of dreaming and what they might mean; while Mor theorized how we could interpret them. When a certain flower in Elain's garden had stirred nausea in my stomach, she removed them. When I watched Azriel and Cassian training in the pit and somehow grew a charlie-horse in my calf from sitting too long with my legs tucked underneath me, Cassian massaged the spot while Azriel offered advice on how to stretch my muscles safely while I remained unable to train during my pregnancy.

Their care was subtle; it was the little things here and there that they did for me while Rhys waited on my hand and foot—or as much as I would allow him to. Now that I was restricted to my bed, only allowed up to use the washing room or to bathe, they all tended to me. They wanted to help in whatever way they could, sometimes bringing me food and drinks when they visited, or sometimes bringing different books or other forms of entertainment. My appreciation only grew when, after the third day of my lying-in and receiving another excellent progress report of my recovery from Madja, Rhys finally left my side in order to meet with Palace Lords or with his Commander of armies and spymaster.

Velaris was still working towards rebuilding and managing repairs after the fire. Not unlike the first attack from Hybern, there were many shops, studios, and galleries that had been destroyed. Thankfully, the studio Ressina and I had established for the children of Velaris only suffered minimal damages, but my heart ached at the thought of those whose establishments were beyond repair. After a decade of peace, of healing from the war, they now had to start all over again. The only thing quelling my grief was the knowledge that Rhys and I had the funds necessary to allocate towards helping make those repairs and helping those who were now misplaced by the fires. That, and the societies that had been formed after the war worked tirelessly with volunteers to restore the Rainbow to its former glory. It would take time, but I was glad to know that, only a week after the attack, our citizens were determined and inspired to work together despite this tragedy that had befallen them—again.

"Are we starting this morning with those somber thoughts, my love?" Rhys asked softly, his arm draped around me as we lay in bed.

I was still too tired, too weak, to try and hold up my shields of adamant—so instead I left them down, allowing Rhys to hear my concerns or complaints through my thoughts. I sighed as I turned to face him, smiling lazily as those powerful hands gripped my hips gently to help me turn.

I touched his cheek gently, his violet eyes half lidded—still heavy from sleep. "I just feel...terrible," I started. "I can't help them by volunteering like I did after the war."

Rhys nodded his understanding, moving the hand on my hip to my stomach. "No one expects that of you, Feyre, especially in your condition. Even if you weren't on bedrest, they would probably insist you take it easy regardless," he said before moving his hand from my stomach to my cheek.

"You saved the city from burning to the ground. That was a sacrifice our people know you made given your current circumstances, and they are so grateful," he pressed a kiss to my brow. "The last thing they want is to see their recovering High Lady lift another finger."

I gave him a wry smile, "It's the last thing that they want or that you want?"

He kissed me full on the lips before offering a feline grin. "Semantics. Now let me say good morning to my son," he said before caressing my stomach, angling his head to stare at it lovingly.

He beamed when he felt that glimmer beneath his touch, our son greeting him before moving around excitedly. "Good morning, Bash," he said as he continued to stroke the swell of my belly.

"I'm still not sold on the nickname," I said as I brushed my fingers over the tattoos on his shoulder.

"We could go with Bastion, that also has a good connotation associated with it," Rhys suggested with a smirk.

I laughed and pinched his shoulder. "Our poor son will be so confused by his own name," I half-heartedly lamented.

"Nonsense, he'll know that his name comes with strength, regardless of a nickname. Won't you, Bash?" he asked my belly before lifting my dressing gown in order to place a tender kiss on my bare skin.

I smiled as he came back to give me another kiss and I melted into him with a rueful sigh. Along with limited mobility and being subjected to my bed, Madja had informed us that we also could not engage in "other mated activities." As much as I enjoyed other forms of intimacy with my mate that didn't involve sex, I couldn't help but feel an ache from our lack of activity.

"I miss it too," he purred in my ear and I shuddered.

He pulled away with a roguish grin and I pouted—actually pouted as I watched him disappear into the bathing room for a few minutes before reappearing and dressing for the day. Now that he allowed himself to part from me, he met daily with Cassian and Azriel to go over reports, taking extra care to look out for any updates and intel gathered from the Autumn Court. After what Beron pulled on us, Mor sent out an initial warning to the other courts while Rhys and I were incapacitated. We didn't know where the male would strike next, so as third-in-command, Mor warned them of the possibility that they might be targeted. Mercifully, the High Lord of Autumn hadn't unleashed Vassa onto the other courts—according to their responses, but that left all of Prythian on edge.

Cassian had implemented his security protocols along our borders, working with the legion of Illyrians he recruited and trusted hadn't turned with the rebels. Our neighbors and other allies had done the same, leaving all eyes on the Autumn Court. Azriel and his network of spies were continuing their work in the shadows, gathering whatever information they could, but as far as any of us knew, Autumn had closed themselves off from the rest of the continent. Their own borders were tightened; wards set in place above their territory as well, making it even more difficult for Azriel to work. However, according to letters being exchanged with the other courts, Helion offered his assistance to the spymaster; having made the plans to infiltrate those borders last night.

The meeting this morning would be crucial; detailing whatever Azriel had been able to gather, along with more reports from the Hewn City. As stated by the shadowsinger's recent reports from his network of spies established in the Court of Nightmares, Keir had cut all ties with Beron, and we had yet to know if that was prior to or after the attack the Autumn male had released on us. Hopefully this morning's briefing would answer that question.

"Hold the meeting here," I said to Rhys after he finished buttoning the collar of his black tunic.

He hesitated, but before he could protest, I cut in. "I'll stay here in bed, I promise. There's plenty of room in our suite for Cassian and Azriel to come in and go over the reports."

Rhys sighed and sat on the edge of the bed as I pushed myself upright. "Madja instructed you to turn over your duties as High Lady, for the time being. No additional stress, remember?"

"Yes, I know, but you're just going to inform me of everything that's said regardless. That's what you've been doing, remember?" I challenged.

His answering smile was crooked. "You're right," he started, his hand coming to rest on my stomach again.

I eyed him warily, "I'm sensing a 'but.'"

He sighed. "But I don't want whatever Az comes back with to stir up any stress and cause you harm."

I crossed my arms, noting how they now propped over the mound of my stomach. "So, you were planning to sugarcoat it for me later?" I asked with a raised brow.

"No of course not, Feyre." He sighed heavily, running a hand over his slick dark hair.

Through the bond I could feel him battle with his instincts—his primal need to protect me and our son in our already fragile state. I softened a bit as I watched him struggle to find words before I placed a hand on his.

"I've made great improvements this week, Rhys. Madja confirmed that soon I would be able to return to a light workload, so let me start small. I'll stay in bed while the three of you go over the reports, just these reports, and then you can go about the rest of your duties today and I'll spend the afternoon with my sisters here." I suggested, remembering the ways my sisters had insisted I ease-up on my workload and knew that I would need to implement them for the duration of my pregnancy. The bed rest had enforced this with stricter rules than I originally expected, but I had to admit it was nice to take a step back. Once the strict confinement was lifted however, I wanted to at least handle a little bit of my responsibilities as High Lady until my time came nearer.

"Just this one meeting, in the comfort of our room, is all I ask Rhys." I offered with a squeeze of his hand.

He nodded and squeezed my hand back. "This one meeting, and maybe a couple more after your bed rest is over." He said, having heard my thoughts through my unshielded mind.

I rolled my eyes but nodded in agreement as he helped out of bed, holding me under my elbows as I slowly moved from the edge of the bed to a standing position before him. A part of me felt moving this slowly was an exaggeration but necessary.

"It is," Rhys said, flicking the tip of my nose as I stood before him. "Necessary."

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Stay out of my head. Just because I'm too weak to throw my shields up doesn't mean every last thought is up for grabs." He laughed and moved an arm around my waist as we made our slow trek to the adjoining bathing room.

I had been a bit mortified, at first, when Rhys had to help me perform basic functions—like sitting on the toilet, but my mate hadn't been deterred. After a decade of helping me change out of blood-soaked undergarments during my cycle, I shouldn't have been so flustered, but this felt so different. Still, Rhys didn't so much as bat an eye when he helped me to relieve myself or when he helped me into the tub to bathe—that he actually enjoyed. After a week, I still flushed on our trips to the bathing room, despite his constant reassurance that I shouldn't be embarrassed of my bodily functions—especially in front of him.

After I bathed, which he still tried to insist he do for me—to which I always retorted that I wasn't an invalid despite being on bed rest, he led me back to our room and I sat in my robe as he dug through my armoire.

"Find me something more official," I said. "Not just leggings and a blouse."

Rhys threw an amused brow at me over his shoulder. "You mean something more befitting of a High Lady?"

"Yes, though I'm not on duty right now, I can still dress like one from time to time," I insisted.

He only chuckled before pulling out a simple turquoise colored long-sleeved day dress that would fall just below my knees. Despite the warm weather the end of summer provided, the material was lightweight and would be comfortable enough to wear in bed. I nodded in approval and he brought it over to help me change. Just as he helped me over to the lounge placed at the foot of our bed, a familiar knock came at our door. Based on the weight of it, I knew it was Cassian.

"That was quick," I said to Rhys as he snapped his fingers—his magic making our bed and organizing it neatly.

"I let them know we were meeting in here today," he said with a wink before going to answer the door.

I smoothed out my dress as he led the Illyrians in and sat up a little straighter when I saw Cassian holding a small pastry box in hand. He grinned the second he noticed me staring at it and walked it over to me.

"Your sister, Nuala and Cerridwen made a raspberry braid early this morning and insisted I bring you a couple pieces," he explained as I took the box eagerly from him.

I sighed deeply as I opened the box, inhaling the sweet and buttery scent of the pastry and smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Cassian," I said before taking a piece and biting into it.

"How are you feeling?" Azriel asked as he fell in step beside Cassian, the latter then going over to the medium sized table Rhys and I had set up on the other side of the room to spread out the stacks of reports.

"Still worn out, but good." I said reassuringly. "Do you have an update for us?"

I saw his shoulders tense at my question, and he exchanged a wary glance with Cassian before they both faced us. "Helion was able to create a weak spot in the wards around the borders of the Autumn Court, allowing my spies in, but that's where the good news ends."

Rhys and I shared a frown as he stood beside the lounge I sat on, gripping the back of it a little tighter than he meant to. "Well?"

Cassian swore under his breath. "It seems Beron found Eris's attempts to rally their armies against him, lost his mind, and launched an all-out civil war against his own bastard son."

I blinked. "The Autumn Court is battling within themselves?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"He knew trying to depose his father in order to take over as High Lord would be tricky, which is why he called in the favor to us so long ago," Rhys explained.

"Right, but they're actually fighting each other now?" I asked again.

Cassian nodded and Azriel crossed his arms over his broad chest. "It's absolute hell in their territory. Eris is not doing so well with his armies, especially now that his father has recruited the sorcerer who controls Vassa, and my spies indicate that he is drafting a letter to send to the other High Lords of Prythian," he said. "Including us."

I felt Rhys's shadows grow darker, "I assume that means Keir isn't aiding either one of them?"

Cassian scoffed. "That bastard dropped out of their deal the moment he saw the instability in Beron's court. My guess is he's waiting to see who ends up taking over the seat of High Lord before trying to form a new alliance."

A spark of relief went through me, but it was short-lived as I asked, "Does that mean Keir is stalling his plans for the coup?"

Azriel gave me a somber look, "My spies found that he is restructuring plans with Kallon to move sooner rather than later. If the other high lords aid Eris in fighting his father, that leaves us with diminished assistance in our fight against him."

The bit of pastry I ate now roiled in my stomach as I sat back against the lounge, completely taken aback. "What do we do?" I whispered.

"We still have time," Rhys said. "I'll write to the others. They won't all decide to help Eris, they don't trust him. Especially after what happened at the summit."

"Helion already promised us his forces, if that should be the case. He was there when Az received the report, and he's informed Thesan as well." Cassian reassured, Azriel nodding in confirmation.

The nausea in my stomach alleviated a bit. Two additional courts against half the Illyrians and Keir's Darkbringers. I recalled the memories of the two armies working together on the battlefield against Hybern; remembered their might and Cassian's claim that success in battle was often decided not by numbers, but by picking where to fight. The Illyrians and Darkbringers would no doubt thrive in their home court.

"He also told you knowing when to fight was equally as important. Brute that he is, Keir won't strike until he believes he has the upper hand. It's why he's held off as long as he has and will continue to until he can guarantee what is happening in the Autumn Court will put us at a disadvantage." Rhys explained, hearing the rising anxiety in my thoughts, and gripped my shoulder gently.

Cassian and Azriel must've realized what I had been thinking, because they then each nodded in approval. "There isn't reason to panic just yet, Feyre." Cassian reassured. "It's bad news, but Rhys is right. The prick won't make any moves until he has assurance that he'll get what he wants."

I nodded, the dread that had been building up in my chest beginning to ease. I sighed as I sat up a bit. "You aren't all just saying this to make sure I don't get hysterical and go into spontaneous labor again, are you?"

"I would never lie to you, Feyre." Azriel answered without hesitation as Rhys squeezed my shoulder lightly. "That includes not sugarcoating the truth."

"You're my High Lady. I will always be upfront with you," Cassian promised.

I sighed and gripped the hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as I met Rhys's eyes. They were hardened amethyst, but conveyed the same promise.

"In the meantime, we set up wards around Velaris. I don't want to take even the slightest chance. The bastard will know what it means, and he can stew in his rage for all I care. He won't be a problem for much longer," Rhys said, his voice dangerously dark.

I gulped but dipped my head in agreement. "We write to the other courts as well, like you said. As soon as this mess in the Autumn Court is resolved, we'll gather and confront Keir and Kallon, and put an end to this once and for all." I said.

We all exchanged the same grave expressions, knowing that we'd be rid of these insurgents—soon.

XXX

I had wisely chosen to spend the rest of the day with my sisters. While Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel immediately went about executing the next phase in our plans to finally put an end to this coup. Cassian and Azriel left only minutes after Rhys called an end to our meeting, going to work on securing and preparing the city for the wards my mate would put up. I managed to convince Rhys to eat a bit of breakfast before he officially started his day. Not only was he going to send out letters to the other High Lords, Clotho aiding him in writing those letters, but also planned to meet with the Palace Lords of Velaris and inform them of the wards to be set in place—today. We, along with the other courts, were now officially preparing for war.

I tried not to think about it as I sat on the chaise lounge of my suite's sitting room with Elain and Nesta, trying to focus on Elain's excitement about finalizing the details of her plans to transform the sitting room into a nursery.

"And I think the cradle should go here in the middle of the room." Elain explained as she moved over the plush carpet in the center of the room, positioning herself to show the precise location.

I nodded, running an idle hand over my stomach as I felt a glimmer of excitement inside of it. "I like it," I said tiredly. After the meeting this morning, I was already sufficiently drained of any energy.

"I would think you'd be more excited about it," Nesta said coldly from her seat on the lounge adjacent to me. "Considering Elain made all these plans for your child."

I narrowed my eyes at my eldest sister, wondering how much longer I would be able to tolerate the icy rage she bore towards me ever since I had been placed on bed rest. Whenever she and Elain would visit my bedside, Nesta remained indifferent—hardly saying more than a few words at a time to me, and almost all of them hostile. Thinking back to her behavior at the cabin just a little over a week prior, the concern she expressed for mine and my child's health, had me wondering what had caused her flip in attitude so suddenly.

"It really wasn't any trouble," Elain began carefully, sensing the tension stirring between us. "The baby is our niece or nephew, and I wanted to contribute something."

"Thank you, Elain," I said before sliding my eyes back to Nesta. "And for the record, I am excited, but I'm also exhausted. In case you haven't noticed." I motioned to my stomach for emphasis.

Nesta didn't look impressed, instead taking a sip of her tea with a shrug. "I'd say you only have yourself to blame for that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped, sitting up a little straighter.

Elain took a step towards me; Nesta snapping back at me with equal vigor. "I mean it's your own fault for the state you're in now. You didn't have to be confined to your bed, your body working overtime to recover from a near-loss that could have been avoided."

I stared at her, mouth agape in complete and utter shock. "Nesta, please. We can't be upsetting Feyre right now in-" Elain started but Nesta cut her off with a scoff as she stood.

"Why should I coddle her?" She asked before directing those deadly grey-blue eyes at me. My eyes—stirring with Nesta's own dark power that swirled under her delicate fae features. "We warned you to be careful, to take a step back and let the others here handle your vocations as High Lady, and not two damn minutes later you winnow away and use your powers."

"I did it to save my city." I said, my voice barely above a whisper as my throat grew tight at her words. "Our city. Our home. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Not when it could've cost you your youngling!" She barked. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that you didn't? That your youngling survived, despite the risk, meanwhile females like me-" she stopped herself, realizing her words.

Elain covered her mouth and I blinked, a few traitorous tears slipping down my face. I recalled Cassian's revelation from months ago as Nesta clenched her fists and turned away, going to the tea cart placed on the other side of her lounge chair.

"Meanwhile females like you who can't have their own?" I said softly.

Her shoulders stiffed, but she didn't turn to meet my gaze. "Who told you that?" She asked, her voice not as fierce as it had just been—a crack in her hardened veneer.

"Is that why you're mad at me Nesta?" I returned, deciding I wouldn't dance around this issue any longer. "Because I put my child at risk, without any consideration to how it might make you feel. You who can't bear her own youngling?"

I saw her head dip below her shoulders slowly, the hand holding a teacup trembling before a tiny crack formed. I sighed shakily, sniffing as I forced away my tears with a gulp.

"Nesta, I'm so sorry," I began. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone secretly felt the same way. What I did...was dangerous. You're right, I could've lost my child...my son."

Elain turned her teary gaze to my stomach. "It's a boy?"

"Yes, and I know in that moment my instincts as High Lady overshadowed my instincts as a mother, and I," I choked back a sob as I rubbed the swell of my stomach gently. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself, even if everyone else has. But I won't blame them if they don't—if you don't."

Elain wiped a few tears away as she sat beside me, placing her hands over mine and squeezed them gently, while Nesta's shoulders gradually lowered. "I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"I felt that way once." She said, her voice gravelly as she finally turned to face Elain and me. The fire in her blue-grey eyes now smoldered with that sorrow I had seen before; on that day we learned that Viviane had given birth to Eira.

"I once thought I would never forgive myself...after I lost my youngling." She ignored Elain's quiet gasp as she stared out the window, wrapping her arms around herself. "It was years ago, after the war. While I was with Cassian in the Illyrian mountains. As a human, my cycles were few and far between, and after I was made, they stopped altogether." She cleared her throat with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I assumed long ago that I would never be able to carry a child, had made my peace with it...until I woke up one morning in a pool of blood. The look on Cassian's face when he-" her voice faltered and I saw her throat bob, staring up into the sky for a minute before she was finally able to move on. "The Illyrian healers said it was very early on, only six weeks at the most, and later Madja confirmed that my body was...incapable of ever bringing a youngling to term."

She turned to face me. "It was part of the reason why it took me so long to return from the mountains. Knowing you and your High Lord wanted a family of your own, knowing I could return and see you with child," she paused as she stared at my stomach. "My outlook changed over the course of that year, and thanks to that brute, I...was able to face you all again. Even with the loss weighing on him just as heavily, he managed to work past it and pull me up through those depths I was already well into after the events of the war.

"When I learned you were pregnant, I thought it would cause me pain, but instead I saw it as an...opportunity. It wasn't until then that I realized I finally forgave myself for the loss, realized it wasn't my fault, and I was grateful." Our eyes met again, meaningfully, and I motioned for Elain's help as I slowly scooted to the edge of my seat.

Elain jumped to her feet and gingerly helped me to mine. Nesta sucked in a breath, prepared to protest as I made a step towards her, but she instead crossed the room in a couple of strides and embraced me. Tears I hadn't realized were already in my eyes fell as Nesta squeezed her arms around me—careful not to put any strain on my middle, and only a few seconds later Elain's arms encircled us both as best she could.

"Forgive yourself, Feyre," Nesta breathed before pulling back enough to meet my stare. "And take care. Let the others, let us, take care of you and your son."

I nodded with a sob before Elain pulled her back into our embrace and we all held each other—like we had all once done so, so long ago.

[shiroiookami-no-hanashi]

Ocean Eyes Pt. 3

Collin watched Kieran’s father out of the corner of his eyes. The weekend was over and they were finally leaving to go back to Kieran’s place. While Kieran’s father said nothing throughout the entire weekend, he was expecting the older demon to say something now that they were leaving.

It wasn’t until they were all packed and heading down the driveway that he was able to relax. He never ran into the other demon the rest of the weekend but every time he left Kieran’s room alone or Kieran left the room, he always looked around, expecting him to be there.

Throughout the weekend, Kieran and him talked and got to know each other and true to his word, Kieran didn’t so anything but kiss and cuddle with him. He found out that Kieran was 178 years old and he had asked why he didn’t find a mate sooner and Kieran told him that his demon hadn’t accepted anyone and like werewolves and vampires, demons also mated for life until somehow their mate passed away. Kieran also told him he hadn’t been ready for that commitment and had still been in his teen-aged rebellious age and wasn’t ready to settle down. Then for the kicker at the end, Kieran had kissed him and said that he was glad he waited, smiling like he had won the lottery. He had gotten embarrassed by that which only made Kieran tease him even more.

They even talked about what they were going to do about his friend Lennox. One the day of Lennox’s shift, they were going to wait on the edge of the old pack’s territory where they had promised to meet and pick him up. Kieran even promised that Lennox could stay with them for as long as he needed. He had been so happy that Kieran had been so understanding that he nearly cried and Kieran had held him until he felt better.

Collin looked over at Kieran, watching him until Kieran noticed him staring and glanced over him.

“What is it? Like what you see?” Kieran asked with grin.

Collin smiled and reached over, taking one of Kieran’s hand from the steering wheel and interlaced their fingers together. “Thank you.” he whispered.

Kieran gave him another curious glance before turning his gaze back to the road, “Anything for you darlin’.”

3

Kieran opened the door to his flat, letting Collin shuffle in first only to have him stop in the doorway and stare inside.

“This is your place?” Collin asked, amazed.

Kieran didn’t think it was anything special but from what Collin came from, it had to look like a palace to him. He got a place with an open floor plan where the living room, dining room and kitchen were all connected. Right when you walked in, there was a staircase that went to the second floor where his room and a guest room were. There was even a guest room next to the kitchen. A few feet from the stairs sat the couch with a TV and stand out in the middle of the floor. Behind the TV was just a wall of windows and a sliding glass door that lead out to the balcony. It wasn’t nearly as big as Keir's and Cyprian’s places but he liked it and had it for quite a few years.

Kieran walked up behind Collin and wrapped his arms around the pup’s waist, “Don’t you mean our place? You live here not too ya know.”

Collin turned his head, “It’s still so hard to believe sometimes. I feel like I’m dreaming.’

“Believe me, this is not a dream.” Kieran nipped Collin lightly on the neck lightly. The young pup tensed slightly and then squirmed out of his grasp and into the living room. Sure they had been close all weekend but he knew Collin was still getting used to things and it’d take longer than just a few days to do that. Now, Collin was in a new environment and his wolf was probably going ballistic at the new sights and smells and his scent was all over the place.

Collin looked around, slowly almost hesitantly walking farther into the living room. Everything was so new and he wondered how long it was going to take him to get used to thinking that he lived his now with Kieran. At least he wasn’t going to have any issues with getting lost unlike Kieran’s parent’s place. There were also so many new smells that caught his attention yet Kieran’s scent seemed to layer on top of all of them so he mostly just smell Kieran’s scent, which he wasn’t complaining.

Walking out onto the balcony, Collin looked over the city and he could see the mountains in the distance and he probably stared at them for a good ten minutes alone before Kieran joined him, handing him a glass of water.

“Never thought you’d see something like this huh?”

Collin took a sip from the cup before shaking his head, “Never, I only dreamed of something like this. I didn’t think I’d make it in the wild but I like to believe in reincarnation so I hoped I’d be reborn into someone or something that could have the freedom so see sights like this.”  He blinked away the tears when Kieran put an arm around his waist.

“Just think of this as a re-birth. You are no longer the white werewolf outcast you were in your old pack but now just Collin, a werewolf and my mate. Nothing is going to change that so remember you get to see this every morning you wake up and every night before you fall asleep. Besides me of course.”

Collin couldn’t help but laugh at the last statement, “Why is everything about you in the end?”

“Because I’m your mate and you should only have eyes for me.” Kieran answered.

Collin looked up at Kieran, “You’re jealous of a mountain.”

Kieran grinned, “Damn right I am, how would you feel if I spent all my time staring at a mountain than you?”

Narrowing his eyes, Collin growled softy, “I’d make you look at me.”

“Now who’s jealous?” Kieran questioned.

Collin only smiled and turned back to look over the city, “You’re all I have so you don’t have to worry about my eyes wondering to anyone or anything.”

Kieran pulled Collin closer and he leaned down to rest his forehead on top of Collin’s head, his demon purring in appreciation. Collin then suddenly tensed and his face got flushed.

“You’re purring.” Collin murmured, sounding slightly surprised.

Kieran purred louder in response, turning slightly to pull Collin to his chest, “I am a cat demon so that is one of the things I can do. Does it bother you?”

Collin shook his head and his face got a shade darker, “No, I kind of like it. It’s cute.” He mumbled softly.

“I’ve only purred with you,” Kieran whispered, “It means I’m comfortable and my demon is happy that you’re near.” He smiled when Collin looked up at him and happiness shone in the werewolf’s blue eyes, a big smile forming on his face.

“Really?” Collin asked as his heart raced in his chest. No one had ever said that they were happy he was around. His family had barely said two words to him unless they were telling him to do something. They didn’t praise him when he did in school or thanked when he did something without being asked and never once did they say they loved him.

“Yes, really.” Kieran answered and his eyes softened when Collin’s eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t know what I’d do if this turned out to be a dream.” Collin’s voice shook and the tears fell down his face.

Kieran wiped the tears away as they fell and he grabbed Collin’s hand, placing it on his chest. “It’s not a dream love. I’m right here and I’ll always be here. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Thank you.” Collin whispered before burying his face into Kieran’s chest and he wrapped his arms around Kieran’s waist, hugging him tightly.

“You’re welcome baby.” Kieran held Collin tightly. Collin deserved the world and that’s what Kieran is going to give him.

- 3 -

“Keir, can you come by this afternoon, I need to talk to you.” Kieran said into his phone as he watched Collin rummage around in the kitchen making them lunch.

“Of course, any time in particular you want me to drop by?”

“Any time in the next few hours would be ideal though Collin’s making lunch so if you’re hungry, you’re more than welcome to come by sooner. I just gotta tell him to make extra if you do.”

“That will be nice. I just have to finish up here and I’ll be right over. I’ve been wanting to meet the werewolf father has been going about.”

“So you’ve talked to dad? I bet he did say anything good.”

“Not entirely, I’ll tell you more when I get there. See you soon.”

“Yeah, see ya.” Kieran pushed the end button, tossing the phone onto the couch. “Collin.” He called. Collin paused what he was doing and turned to face him.

“My brother Keir is dropping by, could you make enough for three?”

Nodding, Collin smiled and went back to what he was doing. It didn’t take him long but now he knew his way around the kitchen and probably knew it better than Kieran did.

Kieran continued to watch Collin move about the kitchen. Collin had taken it upon himself to make their meals from now on and while he told the pup it wasn’t necessary since he had his own personal cook. Collin had insisted though, saying it was something he liked to do and who was Kieran to deny him that. He also couldn’t lie when he liked seeing Collin smile when he said what Collin made was better than anything his cook had made.

Kieran was very curious as to what Keir was going to tell him and he could only imagine what his father had said without them around. He knew it wasn’t going to make him happy and probably make Collin upset but he need to be prepared when he confronted the older demon. He didn’t plan on talking to his father until Collin and he mated, making it official but he didn’t want to pressure Collin into anything he didn’t want to do and he couldn’t avoid his father forever. He was sure his father would make an appearance in the next few weeks and he will not be happy to find out that not only did he have Collin still with him but another white werewolf living with him.

He already knew that was surely to cause another fight and his father won’t back down so easily this time. He just wished his father would just accept it, that Collin was here to stay and also that he wasn’t going to become clan leader. That position was rightfully Keir’s and if his father kept pushing the issue, he’d eventually take it up with Lucifer to make his father back down. That was his last resort and he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

It was a good half an hour later when Kieran heard the door to his loft open and Keir walked in carrying in a bag. Keir’s eyes briefly shifted over Collin before meeting Kieran’s.

“It’s good to see you Keir.” Kieran said, “What did you bring?”

“A cake from downtown. I’d thought I’d being dessert since you’re offering lunch.”

Kieran smiled, “Do you buy cake for you gang too?” he asked jokingly.

“Every once and a while if they ask.” Keir answered with a straight face.

Chuckling, Kieran took the bag from Keir’s hands and placed it on the counter. Opposite to how he acted sometimes Keir was a softy. He could only imagine how Keir was going to treat his mate once he got one.

Keir was a few inches taller than him with golden blonde hair and peridot green eyes. Keir was also very straight-forward and didn’t sugar-coat things but underneath his poker face and monotone voice, he was a great guy and did everything in his power to make the ones close to him happy.

Kieran waved Collin to his side, “Collin, meet me eldest brother Keir and Keir, this is my mate Collin.”

Keir held out his hand and Collin hesitantly took it, shaking it. “It’s nice to meet you Collin. My brother is treating you right?”

Collin flushed, nodded his head and he pulled his hand away. “It’s nice to meet you too and yes, I couldn’t be any happier with Kieran.”

“That’s good.” A small smile came onto Keir’s face, “Don’t be afraid to tell him off sometimes. He likes to let things go to his head every once a while.”

“Don’t tell him that.” Kieran said, punching Keir in the shoulder and Collin nodded quickly before darting back into the kitchen saying something like that lunch was almost done. He motioned Keir to the couch so they could talk while Collin finished.

“I see you haven’t mated with the pup yet.” Keir said as he sat on the couch.

Kieran said beside him, leaning back, “No, not yet. We’re taking it slow and waiting until its right. I might be Collin’s mate but we’ve only known each other for less than a week. I told him I didn’t mind waiting until he was ready.”

Keir nodded, understanding, “Must be hard on him. When werewolves find their mate no matter what age or how long they’ve known each other, the urge for them to mate is strong.”

“Yeah I know and what’s really hard is that he’s not used to anything affection wise since he was the outcast of the pack so I try not to push him so much. There is only so much someone can get used to in less than a week. I’d be more concerned if he was ready to mate with me at this point but it’s getting harder and harder to keep my hands off him now that my demon has accepted him.”

“I don’t blame you, he’s cute. You’ve got yourself a looker and when he grows up a bit more, he’s going to be gorgeous.”

Kieran looked back to Collin and smiled, “Is it bad I hope he stay like this forever, like a puppy?”

“Of course not but you’ll love him either way right?” Keir asked.

“Of course I will.” Kieran answered, his eyes softening when Collin noticed him staring and smiled back at him from across the room. No matter, what, he’d always love Collin.

3

“You’ve really piss him off this time Kieran, he’s threatening to disown you if you mate with Collin.”

Kieran groaned and ran a hand through his hair as he leaned back, “I figured it’d come to that eventually but he won’t go through with it, mom won’t allow it. He’s more afraid of her than we are and if he tried to disown me, she’d kill him.”

Keir smiled, “That is very true. Even if he tried with that threat, Cyprian and I will tell him he has to disown us as well and when that’s on the table, he’ll definitely won’t go through with it.”

“Don’t do that, you never know what he’s going to do and might just disown all of us. However, it wouldn’t last long since mom would never let him do that. I’m still holding onto the hope, he’d just drop the whole thing.” Kieran glanced down at Collin who was staring at his hands either listening or off in his own little world.

“I don’t care what he says or does, Collin is here to stay and I wouldn’t let him go for anything in the world.” Collin now looked up at him with curious eyes and he wrapped an arm around Collin’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“Dad said you were only using Collin to get out of marring Vanessa but I can see that’s not the case and you truly care about Collin.”

Kieran growled lowly, “I’m not playing this game with him. I’m Collin’s mate and my demon has accepted Collin and if he doesn’t believe that, tell him to come over and I’ll prove it to him. Collin is mine and I don’t want anyone else nor will I ever. Tell him that the next time you talk to him.”

Keir held his hands up in defense, “I never doubted you but you know how dad is when he had his mind set on something. I’m still trying to figure out why he’s in such a hurry to make you clan leader and for you to have cubs.”

Shaking his head, Kieran sighed, “I have no idea and why Vanessa? Is the Ives clan special in some way I don’t know about? If he really wants more king cheetah demons, you’d think he’d try and set me up with Lilith from the Degray clan, she’s still unmated and I would have had been more likely to have king cheetah demon cubs with her. The Ives clan has no king cheetah demon.”

“Exactly,” Keir responded, “I don’t understand why Vanessa either. It’s not like we have any trouble with the Ives clan.”

“We won’t know unless we ask him but the likely hood of him telling us is nonexistence.”

Keir frowned, “Most likely and mom probably doesn’t know either. Though it is safe to say that she approves of you and Collin, she just wants you to be happy and if Collin makes you happy, she’s okay with that.”

Kieran smiled at that. He was unsure how she felt through the weekend but he was glad she approved of them. She wasn’t as selfish as their father and always told them she wanted what was best for them and the fact that she knew that Collin was best for him made his chest swell with happiness. Now, if only their father felt the same way.”

“Do you have any plans this weekend or had Cyprian talked to you already?”

Kieran shook his head, “Besides getting Collin’s friend on Friday, we’re free all weekend, what’s going on?”

“Cyprian and Vanessa are having a get-together at their new place Saturday and are inviting family and a few friends from the clan to come. You’ll probably be getting a call from him some time soon.”

“Wow, they already got a home, that’s great. As long as Collin and Lennox can come, we’ll stop by.”

“Lennox?” Keir questioned, looking confused.

“Lennox is Collin’s friend from his old pack and since Lennox is a white werewolf too, when he shifts on Friday, they’ll be kicking him out. So when that happens, we’ll be going to pick him and I’m letting him stay here.”

“Dad won’t be too happy about that.” Keir murmured.

“To hell with him,” Kieran hissed, “I’m not a child anymore and whoever I let stay here is none of his concern. Let him try and stop me. Collin’s happiness is my top priority and if it makes Collin happy to see his friend safe, I’ll do anything in my power to make that happen.”

Keir smiled softly and nodded in agreement, “I was so afraid that dad was going to turn you into his puppet and it makes me happy to see that you have a mind of your own. If I saw you heading down that path, I was going to take you to live with me so you wouldn’t be in his control. I’m so glad it didn’t come to that and I would have done anything to see that didn’t happen.”

Collin’s eyes got wide at the look of love in Keir’s eyes. He was always told that demons were vicious, heartless creatures and didn’t care about anything but themselves and now he knew that was the farthest thing from the truth. Demons seemed to have a deeper bond with the ones in their family and clans than maybe even werewolves. He couldn’t see demons kicking someone out of their clans for something petty like fur color or even what animal demon they were. He couldn’t stop the tears from blurring his vision or the small sob that escaped him. Next thing he knew he was being turned to face Kieran and his tears were wiped away by a warm hand.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Kieran’s voice was filled with concern and Kieran’s eyes were searching his.

“Everything I learned about demons were a lie,” Collin took in a shallow breath, trembling, “He really cares about you and I wish I had that in my old pack. It make me realize I never had a true family, that they could have never loved me as much as Keir loves you.”

“Oh, darling,” Kieran whispered softly, “Please, don’t cry.” He cupped Collin’s cheeks and kissed him, “Don’t think about them anymore okay? I’m your family now as well as mine and I love you more than you could ever know just the way you are. God, you’re perfect baby.” He said breathlessly, happy to see Collin’s eyes light up at his words, “They don’t deserve your tears, hell even your thoughts. Just know that you are my everything for the rest of our lives.” He pulled Collin onto his lap, holding him close and Collin’s arms came around his neck in return. Be damned if Keir was watching them, he wasn’t ashamed to comfort his mate with others around. He breathed in Collin’s scent, the smell of campfire and wild flowers, the most addictive smell he had ever come across. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of Collin’s scent.

Glancing up, he gave Keir a sheepish smile, he didn’t expect the conversation to turn to this but after a few minutes, once he calmed down Collin pulled back, blushing as he slipped off Kieran’s lap.

“Sorry.” Collin whispered.

“Nothing to be sorry about baby.” Kieran whispered in reply and he reached over to squeeze Collin’s hand.

Collin gave him a small smile, “I’m going to go wash up, and I’ll be right back.” He pulled his hand away slowly, brushing his fingertips across Kieran’s palm before he went upstairs.

Kieran watched Collin until the pup disappeared into their bedroom before turning back to his brother, “Not what you were expecting I’m sure, sorry about that.”

Keir merely shrugged his shoulder, “Not the first time I’ve seen something like that. Most of the members have mates and it’s not a weakness for anyone to show love or compassion to the ones around them in front of others. I don’t understand werewolves and why they do what they do but that doesn’t make them the bad guy. All of us in our own way are also the bad guy, remember that we’ve all done things aren’t proud of.”

Kieran nodded, “I understand. I’ve always been wary of them but now that I know what they are capable of doing to their own kind, how can I look at them the same?” he questioned, waiting for an answer.

“Just like us and vampires, werewolves do things their way. They don’t say anything about what we do and we don’t say anything in return. It’s how it is and how it’s always been.”

Kieran narrowed his eyes, “Not always, I was young but I remember.”

“That’s the past and we are in the present. We’ve learned from our past mistakes and we won’t repeat them. I have to go though, things I need to check up on but thank you for lunch.” Keir paused to look up at Collin who had made it to the middle of the stairs, “It was nice to meet you Collin, I hope to see you this weekend.”

Collin looked to Kieran for a brief moment, “It was nice meeting you too and I hope so as well.”

Keir nodded before making his way out of the apartment.

Kieran hadn’t moved from the couch so he pulled Collin into his lap before the pup had the chance to sit down beside him and held him close. “If Cyprian says it’s okay, would you and Lennox even want to go, I won’t force you if you don’t want to come.”

Collin tucked his head under Kieran’s chin, “I can’t speak from Lennox since he’s never met a demon in his life or hell, I’m the only one besides his family he’s ever met. His family never even let him go to school so I was the one who taught him how to read and write. They were 10 times worse than my family and I wouldn’t put it past them to hurt him when they chase him off to make sure he doesn’t survive.”

“Do you really think they’ll do that?” Kieran reached over and grabbed Collin’s hand, interlacing their fingers together.

“I wouldn’t put it past them. I overheard his parents talking to mine about just killing him to save him the trouble of surviving in the wild, saying that a quick death would be merciful and they’d feel a little less guilty about the whole thing.”

“If they knew they were going to feel guilty, why do it in the first place?” Kieran hissed, tightening his hold on Collin, “I can’t believe they didn’t let him go to school, did they keep him in a cage or something?”

Collin tensed and squeezed Kieran’s hand, “They thought he didn’t need to experience those kind of things since he was never going to live that type of life. He was the youngest so he didn’t have any siblings to take care of like I did so he was locked in his room all day and it was the size of a storage closet basically. The only reason why he met me was because my parents convinced his that it'd be a good idea for us to become close so if we stayed in the wild together, we’d have a better chance at survival. He’s going to be worse than me at adapting, meeting others and now demons. Growing up, I was told that demons were vicious, awful creatures that ate humans for the hell of it, killed others if they didn’t get their way and that they didn’t care about anything but themselves so that’s what I told him when he asked about other creatures in the world. I doubt he’s even seen outside, doesn’t know how anything works and it’ll take him a longer time to adjust to anything and everything.”

“That’s just awful.” Kieran whispered, “I’ve never heard anything like this. It’s takes a lot for a demon to get kicked out of the clan, more than just not listening to the clan leaders and vampires are the same way. It’s extremely rare for them to kick someone out of their clans. I assumed werewolves were the same way since the more wolves in the pack, the stronger the pack was as a whole.”

“I guess they’d rather be a weaker pack than risk having a cursed wolf around on the off case they bring a curse that wipes out the pack.”

“Is there even proof that white werewolves being bad luck after their shift?”

Collin only shrugged his shoulders and he nuzzled his nose against Kieran’s neck. He knew it was because Kieran was his mate but he loved the demons scent, the smell of rain and grass. He found it odd yet addictive. Odd because he assumed that Kieran being a cheetah demon, he wouldn’t have such a strong scent not that he was complaining. With Kieran’s scent all over the place, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the urge to mate with demon.

He learned a little bit about mating from the older kids in the pack when he went to school. He was told that your mate was your other half and nothing would be the same once you met them, you’d never be able to live without them and you’d go insane from being separated from them. Also, that the urge to claim them would hit you like a literal freight train and god did it. It took everything he had not to pounce Kieran when he walked into the hospital room and even now he didn’t know how long he could hold out.

Collin shifted on Kieran’s lap to where he was straddling Kieran’s lap, legs on either side of Kieran’s thighs and he wrapped his arms around Kieran’s neck, watching closely to Kieran’s reaction. He shuddered when Kieran’s hands came up to rest on his hips and he noticed that the demon’s eyes darkened slightly, pupils shifting to slits.

“Collin.” Kieran whispered.

Collin’s eyes briefly fluttered shut at the sweet tone in Kieran’s voice and when he opened them, Kieran’s eyes had bled to a dark red. He tilted his head, leaning in until their lips were only a breath away and he waited until the right moment, pulling back right as Kieran leaned in to close the distance. He couldn’t stop the smile forming on his face when Kieran growled softly.

“You damn tease.” Kieran muttered before flipping them on the couch so Collin was now on his back, Collin’s legs wrapped around his waist at the sudden movement. It was his turn to smile at Collin’s wide eyed, shocked expression, “Don’t test me pup.” He purred.

Collin’s face flushed and his breathing quickly got heavy, his heart racing in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he was fully up to having sex yet but he couldn’t hold his wolf back from claiming his mate.

“Collin, I want you to tell me the truth. Are you ready to have sex with me? This is a big thing and if you aren’t ready, I want you to tell me and I don’t want you to think you have to rush for my sake, we can wait.”

Collin shook his head, “But I-”

Kieran kissed him softly, cutting off his next words, “No buts darling, I know it’s hard, trust me. My demon wants to claim you just as badly but you control the pace, not your wolf or my demon. It’s not a rush okay however, I do know of a way for you to claim me without having sex just yet, do you trust me?”

Eyes softening when Collin nodded his head, Kieran sat up, running his hands over Collin’s thighs as he did so. Collin sighed breathlessly as heat filled his belly, his eyes glazing over. He watched Kieran grab the hem of shirt and lift it over his head, throwing it to the floor before leaning over to hover above him. His hands itched to touch the demon above him but he held back, digging his fingers into the couch.

Kieran noticed what Collin was doing and gently grabbed Collin’s wrist, bringing his hand up to the pup’s palm was pressed to his chest. He grinned as Collin’s hand begun to tremble.

“You’re gonna have to get used to touching me, baby. Don’t be shy, you can’t do anything wrong.” Kieran whispered.

“I-I’ve never done this before.” Collin stuttered.

“I know love but you have to start somewhere and maybe someday, you’ll take charge.” Kieran said with a wink.

Collin blushed at the thought, his body shuddering and his eyes moved to his hand on Kieran’s chest, brushing his fingertips against the demon’s skin. He hesitantly ran his hand over Kieran’s abs, feeling ever dip and warmth of the demon's skin before coming up to rest it against neck. This feeling was foreign to him, the feeling of warm skin of another and he could only hope he’d get used to it.

Kieran leaned against Collin’s touch and he begun to purr, taking into notice at how Collin tensed. He slowly slipped his hands under Collin’s shirt, watching the pup’s reaction before moving his hands to Collin’s sides, brushing his fingers over his belly. He stilled, meeting Collin’s eyes and he waited for Collin to get his approval to continue. Collin’s blue eyes shone with anxiousness and most importantly trust. With a small nod from Collin, he moved his hand down to the edge or Collin’s pants, watching for any reaction that told him he was going too far. With nothing of the sort, Kieran unbuttoned Collin’s jeans and pulled down the zipper.

Collin’s breath hitched as Kieran’s warm fingers brushed against him and he noticed he could hear every small noise, the sound of his heavy breathing and Kieran’s soft purring to comfort him. Everything was so new to him, the feeling of Kieran’s hands, the warmth in his belly and the fog in his head that muddled all his thoughts. He couldn’t help but wonder how Kieran was feeling. He took in a sharp breath, eyes going wide and back arching when Kieran slipped his pants down slightly, hands coming to rest on his thighs and out of instinct, his hand snapped to Kieran’s wrist, stopping him.

Kieran instantly stopped and looked up at Collin, eyes softening at the slight fear that swim behind blue irises. He didn’t remove his hands but he leaned down, kissing Collin’s gently. “It’s okay baby. I just wanna make you feel good.” He purred lowly.

Collin’s eyes wavered, “I- I um, I mean, I’ve.” He hesitated, his face growing warmer, “I’ve never.” He whispered as he shyly met Kieran’s gaze, hoping the demon understood without him actually saying it, it was embarrassing.

“Never?” Kieran’s eyes widened slightly when Collin shook his head.

“I was the 3rd of 10 siblings, I never had privacy, even in the bathroom.” Collin murmured as he averted his gaze. It was silent for a few moments and he couldn’t help but think Kieran didn’t want him anymore because he was so inexperienced. Tears blurred his vision and he squirmed in discomfort.

“Baby, don’t cry.” Kieran said softly as he wiped away the tears, “I don’t like seeing you cry. There is nothing to be ashamed of so look back at me and believe me when I say that the fact that I’ll be the first one ever to give you that kind of pleasure makes me extremely happy.” When Collin looked back to him, their gazes locked, he leaned down kissing Collin breathlessly and only separating when Collin’s legs tightened around his waist. “Darling, I don’t care about that. I just want to give you the pleasure you deserve, I want to make a mess of you and see your face as you come for the first time, Can I?”

Collin’s face took on the shade of a cherry, flushing to the tips of his ears and Kieran was concerned the poor pup was going to pass out but Collin squeezed his eyes shut and nodded his head.

Kieran smirked, “Thank you.”  He whispered quietly as he moved down to Collin’s neck, nipping at the skin he found there. Collin gasped, his leg jerking against Kieran’s hip and he tilted his head back to allow Kieran more access. Kieran wasted no time and continued to nip at Collin’s neck, moving his hand to cup Collin’s erection through his boxers.

Collin’s back arched, a small whimper escaping and his hips stilled as pleasure raced up his spine. Eyes blurred over from the pleasure and he wondered if he was feeling this much already, what it would feel like if Kieran touched him directly.

When Kieran could tell Collin was close, he moved up so his shoulder was in front of Collin’s face and so he could purr in Collin’s ear. At some point both of Collin’s arms had managed to wrap around his back and Collin was digging his now lengthened claws into the back of shoulder. It didn’t hurt but he knew he’d have to get used to it with having a werewolf as lover. He couldn’t blame Collin either, he assumed Collin was drowning in so much pleasure that he had no idea what he was doing anymore.

Collin couldn’t believe his ears at all the noises he was making, whimpering and moaning with every movement of Kieran’s hand and it embarrassed him like nothing else not even getting naked in front of the pack for his first shift.

“Just let it go baby, cum for me.”

Collin vaguely heard Kieran whisper in his ear and something snapped, his back arched and he practically screamed, moaning loudly as his vision went white.

“Bite my shoulder darling.”

Collin’s eyes went wide as his vision instantly came back, gold eyes locked onto shocked red ones as he did what he was instructed, his canines sinking into the demon’s skin, claiming him. His body trembled with the after-effects of his orgasm, pleasure still numbing his body when the sweet taste of Kieran’s blood over-powered him, his hips jerking up as a second orgasm washed over him. His head fell back onto the pillow once his wolf was satisfied with the claim and his body shook, his breath caught in his throat. His arms fell limply to his sides and he was soon learning that it was hard to keep his eyes open and it wasn’t until Kieran whispered that it was okay for him to sleep, did he obey his body’s demand, eyes slipping shut and he fell asleep surrounded by comforting arms, a hand running through his hair.

- 3 -

When Kieran opened his eyes, he noticed that Collin wasn’t cuddled to his chest anymore but was cooking in the kitchen. As he stood from the couch, he could feel his shoulder aching from when Collin claimed him, the pup sure didn’t know how to hold back. Making his way into the kitchen he snuck up on the unsuspecting pup by wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him back.

“How are you feeling?”

Collin nearly jumped out of his skin, jerking his head around, “I-I ’m fine.” He answered quickly. His face begun to heat up as he remembered what happened just hours earlier and he glanced at the bite mark on Kieran’s shoulder, “Does it hurt?” he found himself asking.

Kieran chuckled, nuzzling the back of Collin’s neck, “Nah, it’s just a slight burning sensation. It takes more than just a love bite to hurt me. Is your wolf feeling better?”

Collin nodded and turned back to what he was making. His wolf seemed plenty satisfied and even though it wasn’t a full claiming, it felt nice to know that Kieran was his.

“I hope you don’t mind that I changed your clothes. I didn’t think you’d want to wake up in dirtied boxers, it’s not a pleasant feeling believe me.”

Collin felt his blush returning, “It’s fine, thank you.” He whispered. He was grateful but embarrassed all the same and now he didn’t know how he should face the other.

Kieran tightened his arms around Collin’s waist, still nuzzling the pup’s neck and he begun to purr in hopes of getting Collin to relax. Collin was tense, eyes way to focused on the task he was working on and he knew Collin was embarrassed but this was something he was definitely something the pup was going to have to get used to. Everyone he had been with in the past, he had been very affection with and now that the pup had partially claimed him, his demon was anxious to complete it. His demon wasn’t known for patience but he himself had plenty of practice.

“Baby, there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, okay? Sex is a natural instinct, more so in our species and you were perfect so don’t think too hard about it.”

Collin nodded and finally relaxed, leaning into Kieran and he closed his eyes, “I know and I know I sound like a broken record yet, I’m still not used to things, such as the act or even the affection you’re showing me right now. It still feels weird sleeping in your arms at night.”

Kieran pulled back slightly, “Would it make you feel better if we slept in separate rooms for a while?”

Collin turned in Kieran’s arms, shaking his head, “I might not be used to it but that doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I can’t get used to it if we give up and your smell comforts me, helps me sleep.”

Kieran brought Collin closer, pressing his forehead against the pups, “I know darlin’ which is way we’re taking it slow, letting you get used to everything at your own pace. You trust me right?”

Smiling softly, Collin raised his gaze to meet Kieran’s, “I do trust you,’ he then dropped his gaze, “But that kind of scares me. Is that normal?”

“Very normal pup, trust is a scary feeling for anyone and a big step for you. The fact that you trust me in such a short time makes me extremely happy.” Kieran tilted his chin up and kissed Collin softly before releasing him. “Thank you. I can’t wait for dinner.”

Collin watched as Kieran walked back to the front room. It hadn’t even been a week and Kieran had given him so much, most he didn’t even think he deserved since he couldn’t give anything back in return but for the first time in a long time, he was happy.”