#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time

[laconchadetumadre]

i've seen this joke on twitter and tumblr a few times. And in fanfic kyle is often portrayed as being the "least experienced" or more awkward out of the m4. its fine if people like this hc/trope. Ultimately, fanon doesnt have to stick to canon. It's just that your post reminded me of that, so i hopped in here to share my own thoughts.

about kyle actually fumbling nichole. like i said, the situation was already unfavorable for him. kyle didn't have much a chance to fumble from the very start but if thats how you see it, its fair.

"Kyle never once tried to explain (...) that he wasn’t gay (...) he and cartman weren’t dating"

im pretty sure this is merely because there wouldnt have been enough time for all that. you kinda have to keep in mind that mattrey only have about 20 minutes to flesh out a whole plot, and their main goal is to deliver jokes, not romantic plotlines.

kyle did ask cartman before to clear the rumors right after finding out about them at the playground (and only kept quiet because cartman manipulated him into it) which already lets us know that kyle didnt like the rumors (or cartman), so a scene where kyle tells nichole about it would have been repetitive.

if you want an in-universe explanation tho, i guess you could say that by the time kyle decided to explain things to nichole he had already given up on trying to date her. Therefore there wasnt much of a point in denying the rumors to her in particular. it wouldnt have changed anything anyway.

"he only told her about how cartman was setting her and tolkien up"

and thats really all nichole needed to be told tbh. that alone reveals to her that cartman is racist and not to be trusted (so technically she could infer that everything he told her is a lie) and it is what leads to the conclusion of her arc with tolkien. anything else would have been unnecessary and kind of a waste of screetime

"he literally fucks off to go to cartman like bro this is why you can’t keep a relationship longer than a day"

if you mean kyle coming to cartman at the playground, again, its more about mattrey pacing the episode based on whats more funny and entertaining rather than something to look into. like, yeah, had kyle gone to nichole first it could have fixed everything from the start, but we wouldnt have an episode.

plus, i kinda think it was good he went to cartman. cartman was the one who started the rumor after all, so he should be the one to clear kyle's name. and maybe kyle did try to deny the rumors, but the other kids might as well not have believed him.

i did figure the kyman bit was a joke and, like i said, I don't mind the ship, but i was only taking the canon into account for my post. mattrey definitely know and play about kyman in some episodes (the same way they do with other ships like style, bunny, butman, candy, etc), but it hasn't been seriously adressed in canon so, to me, it doesn't count ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i was gonna address the whole s20 thing but i've had this in my drafts for days now so im gonna make it short. from my pov kyle wasn't jealous, he was dubious and suspicious of cartman (reasonably so) and later when he realized cartman was abussive to heidi did he intervine (which is GOOD, its true he could have handled things better, but heidi did need help and his heart was in the right place) him crying over that picture can mean a lot of things, not necessarily that he has secret feelings for cartman.

Hey chat here’s a compilation of every relationship Kyle was in but fumbled them all because he’s destined to be bitchless till the day he dies

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (My Struggle III), Part IX

it is time, once again, to lose my mind.

I am curious though, before I dive in: which Struggle is the worst for you, Dear Reader? The first, which destroyed the mytharc and gave us a breakup without any reason (which had to be, partially, course-corrected later?) The second, which was filler and nonsensical and gave us a cliffhanger with possibly no payoff? The third (which... I'm pretty sure has Morse Code brain signals)? Or the infamous fourth? If you had to take a step back and assess the total damage... what would be the most heinous?

**Note**: Losing my mind for fun. No hate towards anyone, only intense frustration over choices made.

Now, let's rip into this. >:DDDD

MY STRUGGLE III

WE'RE GETTING CSM VOICEOVER.

REALLY.

So. My Struggle I was Mulder's and My Struggle II was Scully's (according to CC) and had voiceovers accordingly... so... this is CSM's.... Soooooooooooooooooooo.

2x-ing this.

Trump getting sworn in, Putin, all these "oh, no, think of the children" clips, ugh.

CSM. You're not a hero just because you don't have a yellow wig. CC, CSM is not a villainous antihero just because you give him a monologue.

And let me be clear: CC does think CSM is the villain. However, he can't resist toying with the idea of Spender's internalized pity-party... but... okay, I'm gonna be honest: he's not exhibiting the skills to do it. Whether that's because he never had them (doubtful) or because he let those writing muscles atrophy with lazy shock value (likely), the fact remains: this isn't going to be good.

How do I know? Because the previous parts weren't good. And I may not know higher math, but I do know enough to know 1 +1 not only constitutes 2 but also establishes a pattern.

Here's a lazy screenshot for CC's lazy analysis:

CSM talks about his sons (which I reject)... and I don't care.

Also, Monsieur Spender sounds awful Canadian now. WBD not keeping track of his vowels again.

(Wait, how'd this get off 2x speed? Back to it.)

"I only hope to show my sons and their sons that I was right."

(**Note from the future**: On first glance, this refers to William as Mulder's son; on second glance... it refers to William's hypothetical sons, I guess. Uuuuuuuugh.)

You know what? I'm angry again that the Revival focused so little on William/Jackson. Then again, they didn't focus on Mulder/Scully, didn't focus on the breakup, didn't focus on Mulder's depression... didn't really focus on anything singularly, huh?

I hate this so much. Faking the moon landing. Acting as the Deep State behind presidents. It's all so... so....

Poser.

It's all stupid and fake and nothing makes sense. Instead of keeping to his guns and rejecting Morgan and Wong's retelling in Musings of a CSM, CC has doubled back and doubled down on it. And honestly, for what? I'll tell you what: because he's ripped away the alien mytharc, we are left with nothing but government conspiracy. And because stupidity begets more stupidity, he then has to build up the Shadow Government's power to believably-- he hopes-- pull off the Conspiracy's reach on the massive scale that is now needed to justify erasing the aliens' involvement in the timeline.

Look how 'poser' this "government agent's" face is. Sums it up.

Scully actually fell over in the office and had a dream.

...Because that's not a complete waste of a previous episode at all.

Now. If this had been set up or alluded to in MSII-- say, Scully's going about her hospital work and hearing voices here or there from reality bleeding into her vision, sure, fine, okay. Or if we're given a sense that it's a vision (with all the fancy camera work they used, the crew could absolutely have implemented a special effect right before the dream kicks in) that Scully, in her altered reality, keeps denying or brushing off-- that'd be a different story. That didn't happen.

37:15 left. These episodes crawl.

I'm gonna say it: I'm not impressed with Duchovny's acting in the scene when he and the EMTs find Scully unconscious. There are glimpses where I think "hey, that's a reaction" before the camera SHAKESHAKESHAKEs or cuts... and I just wonder: who was on set telling him, The Monotone, to tone it down?

Then again. Then again, he could be acting his tail off IF THE SCENE WOULDN'T KEEP CUTTING OFF EVERY 1/3 SECOND.

"I don't want to hear from you. I want to talk to Scully."

How... how did Mulder get less mature with age? Less intelligently verbose? More verbose in general? What happened to the silences in The X-Files where we sat with the characters to get a sense of their emotions? Where has sense gone?

Mulder is supposed to be older, less likely to take anything or put up with anything. And yet, he's also gotten louder, more demanding, and less wise. The writers have given Mulder authority but also, for some bizarre reason, dwindled his assessment skills; they've stripped his former ability to emote in times of crisis (more than he did in normal or even happier times in his life); and they've made him less gentle and downright petulant. It's a pattern I noticed in IWTB that I'd hoped would smooth over here... and yet.

What's the difference between former petulant Mulder and modern petulant Mulder? For one, his newfound aggression does not come with an updated sense of perspective, street smarts, or intelligence. We're to assume he's led by the nose into gay bar closets or stumped by illogical Were-monster rambles or etc. while also putting together pieces that don't connect (even in the writing itself) because he's so clever, he's Spooky Mulder, look how much he's grown?

Yet, he hasn't. Even DD mentioned, once, that the writing (and Mulder's characterization) hadn't updated. So the maturity we see on-screen-- the glimpses, the glances, the gazes, the self-control-- were gravitas touches he brought to the role. ...And that's it. He stands there, he comforts Scully, he shuts up when she talks about William after her mother's death....

I want to ask you this: what does Mulder achieve in the Revival? Honestly? A lot of the cases just happen to him and Scully. A lot of the familial drama ends with him turned upside down and confused, befuddled and left behind. At least Scully-- for all of the fandom's (righteous) fury-- was an active agent. She had the least screen time and accomplished the most: bringing contacts to Mulder, debating Mulder out of crazier ideas, encouraging Mulder back to the files (Were-monster), getting visions from the future and her son, insisting they find William, apologizing to William's "dead" body, making a connection with William at the gas station, saving Mulder whenever he gets kidnapped, etc.

What about those moments where Mulder saves people without Scully by his side? ...Did he? Or did the monsters get vanquished by another person?

By and large, what did the series accomplish? Really? Mulder achieves nothing-- not even to get the Truth between he and Scully (we're left with them grappling the loss of their son-- that she disowns in MSIV-- and being told she's pregnant AGAIN)-- and Scully achieves a little more (coming to terms with why she ran away, seeing her son, disowning him so she can live the rest of her life in peace... yeahhhhhhh...) but ultimately nothing.... The end.

As much as we wish it accomplished something, as much as others love what it brought to the table, what arc did Mulder and Scully go on? What growth did they achieve, measurably, that wasn't messily rewritten in the last minute then butchered the very next episode? What path forward did they open that wasn't thrust upon them? What darkness did they beat back, what truths did they discover or decide to walk away from? Nothing was done with agency-- none of the Revival had a shred of the exploration the Pilot did, let alone the mini arcs in Season 1, the season-long arcs in each subsequent season, even the grand and sweeping narrative sweet spot of Fight the Future. You either salvage what you love from it, or you begrudgingly admit it exists. (Or, like me, you live in delusion that it doesn't.)

And hot take: Scully doesn't lose agency in the Revival-- she chooses to leave, chooses to join Mulder on the work, chooses to ignite Mulder's fire in the MOTWs, chooses to pursue William or leave Jackson alone, chooses to save the world through her science, chooses to get back in bed with Mulder, chooses when she wants to move back home. Her past actions were stripped of agency (En Ami rewrites), yes, but not her present. MULDER, HOWEVER, DOES. Mulder is yanked around and tossed about by the newest conspiracy, but seems to "happen" into each new revelation. Whereas in the old show he tracked down leads, interrogated, and put the pieces together in time to help others, or mitigate the Consortium's damage, here those traits are fleeting (at best) and come second to him shooting from the hip emotionally-- flying off the handle and driving down the road rather than making a plan, figuring out the facts, facing the danger with his head on straight.

In the original series, Mulder and Scully would keep each other grounded-- i.e. he pulling her back to earth in the Pilot, she keeping him honest in E.B.E. Here? They both become emotional wrecks unless directly in the line of fire: then they are detached sages spouting impossible-to-connect dots as facts. And at least Scully is the ultimate voice of "Yes" or "No"-- Mulder is just an agent of the plot.

...That felt good to get off my chest.

36:19 minutes in.

SKINNER, SKINNER reads Morse Code from Scully's brain... and Mulder immediately dismisses it.

Which... YES, THANK YOU. But unfortunately, that's the wrong move; and also... would Mulder in this strange Earth 2 ever reject a possible theory, even if the premise is wildly loony tunes? No.

Mulder: "I'm going to stay here [this is what she needs]."

Skinner: "Mulder?"

Mulder immediately follows him outside.

Just... the comedy writes itself.

WHY IS MULDER SO HOSTILE TOWARDS SKINNER. There is no reason for him to be this hostile, not unless Skinner is physically dragging him away from Scully. Even if, as we're left to infer, he's afraid Scully might be dying, that doesn't mean he'd be suspicious all-of-a-sudden of Skinner, or all people. The man who kept his basement together(ish) and helped both agents back on the files.

Mulder tells Skinner he can go look for answers because Scully needs her partner. Yep, I dig it.

Also: CC must have really gotten backlash for separating Mulder and Scully in the last episode.

33:46 left.

MORE MONOLOGUES, WHY.

Wait... wait, wait, wait. Why does Mulder think his actions have led to Scully's anomalous brain activity? ...Does he suspect it has to do with her former brain cancer, her abductions, her...?

WHERE'S THE SCENE THAT EXPLORES THOSE FEARS? DO WE JUST GET IT IN A RUSHED MONOLOGUE? WITHOUT ANY BUILDUP??????

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh....

...

......

.......

So. Scully wakes up. Tells Mulder to find... the Smoking Man. And not William.

Even though her vision would show her CSM won't care to help them.

And that her DNA and William's can save people.

Despite all that... she wants her partner to find the man who always makes nefarious, dangerous deals... and plans to let said partner die before helping out mankind.

Genius.

Also, Scully sends Mulder away-- GET IT, GUYS, IT'S NOT CC KEEPING THEM APART, SCULLY WANTS THIS, TOO.

Also also: watching this on 2x shows how stilted, awkward, and non-human this interaction is. Ping pong plot points. Gillian's eyes and David's softer mannerisms are the only things that humanize this exchange. Frustrating.

"You're dying, Mulder." ...He's not dying YET, he has to be infected with the Spartan virus first.

I will say: Gillian seems pretty Scully here-- but that's a low bar because she's always been able to pull off Scully-in-the-midst-of-an-emotional-crisis. The voice, unfortunately, remains; but at least in MSII and III she's toned it down.

WHY DOES MULDER KEEP DOUBTING SCULLY (and Skinner)??? AFTER EVERYTHING??????? Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. Get it, guys, he's the new depressed Mulder who doubts his place in everything... but that wasn't who he was in My Struggle I, NOW WAS HE.

JEFFREY SPENDER's back. Jeffrey. REALLY.

Guess we're here now with no explanation.

Guess Spender knew where William was this whole time?

WHY DO ASSASSINS KEEP TRYING TO KILL THE PEOPLE THEY'VE COME TO INTERROGATE, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY.

THE DOCTOR JUST COSIGNS THAT SCULLY HAD VISIONS. REALLY. REALLY??

Mulder's now on board because the doctor had patients who were part of experiments... and now Scully's saying she's "not part of any experiments" DESPITE HER ARC IN THE ORIGINAL SHOW BEING CAUGHT UP IN HAVING BEEN AN EXPERIMENT.

These idiots on Earth 2 aren't my Mulder and Scully.

29:04 left....

Scully was going to leave because she didn't want to face what she's been through THAT SHE'S ALREADY FACED BEFORE and only then does Mulder hop on the investigation....

Y'know, usually I'm mad because Revival Mulder leaps to conclusions that are insubstantial... and now CC's making me mad over the exact opposite. A talent, truly, for never letting the viewers win.

Can this end now. Jeffrey calls Mulder-- HOW DID HE, never mind-- and Mulder doesn't even shrug or blink? And CSM's already tapped Mulder's phone?? And Mulder, PARANOID POST-COLONIZATION DEPRESSED AND TECH-PHOBIC MULDER didn't even notice???? Or did CSM tap Jeffrey's phone????

(**Note from the future**: That was actually Syndicate Man 2 doing the tracing... so, NOT CSM's goons that were chasing Jeffrey; and NOT CSM's goons that chase Mulder's car.... No, this does not make sense-- have fun watching my brain melt live as I try to figure everything out.)

"They'll be coming for me." CSM says, getting another smoke (remember all the smokes My Struggle II wasted time on here?)

Cut, pause.

"Mulder will be coming for me." Thanks, Captain Obvious.

"If he finds me, he'll kill me." UGH, no he won't. We already saw he'll just lay over and die in MSII. Also, that's just not in Mulder's character-- he hasn't killed CSM how many times?

"We're not to be found."

...None of these statements hang together. If you're ever wondering if something does, just imagine a character facing a wall talking to nobody: does his question/answer/soliloquy/monologue make sense devoid of context? And if you imagine the wall engaging back, does the exchange between them make logical sense?

Why did someone direct David Duchovny to monologue in short, snappy, quick tones? Y'know, in a very-not-Mulder way? In a "new, snappy, updated dialogue to fit our new, snappy car chases and modern camera angles" way?

This has turned into Speed Racer. Fun movie, but not the X-Files.

Also: WHY are the assassins showing their hand when they want to interrogate Jeffrey Spender, who Mulder is leading them towards?

Jeffrey calls Mulder.

CSM listens in the entire time.

...So, CSM's guys would know where Mulder's going.

...So, CSM's guys could beat him wherever he's going.

...So, CSM's guys could have traced Jeffrey's call and located Jeff.

...So, CSM's guys could have followed Mulder discreetly.

...So, CSM's guys don't even need to follow Mulder, at all, unless Jeffrey passed along a coded message... which Mulder wouldn't inherently know what that message means because his context to Jeffrey is the same (perhaps less than) than CSM's knowledge of his son's history and movements.

So... none of this makes sense. Again.

Is Reyes trying to talk CSM down or just saying words at him so we can hear CSM talk some more?

I'm skipping the car scenes, btw. I don't care. You made a lover of the faulty Speed Racer movie bored.

The assassins continue to be idiots. How did Mulder just... sneak an entire car around a wall without the men behind noticing (even if one got in a car wreck)?

JEFFREY dropped by Scully's hospital. So, Mulder's not going to Jeffrey, he's going to.... Draw the men off of Jeffrey so Jeff can speak to Scully? Or? Is he going to meet CSM, or?

If he's going to meet CSM...

The above list still applies... and more.

I'm. I'm.

The doctor didn't even notice that a strange man was talking to Scully in her room? Spender literally could not have left the room before the doctor and nurse came in.

UGH.

Prediction: ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE ME WATCH ANOTHER CSM V. MULDER SCENE?

Of course, all these CSM and Monica scenes won't stop her from being evil, of course not.

"Dismissed as Fake News" oh no, OHHHHHHH NO, you can't try to be sneaky you weasley little egotist.

I've broken down CC's attempt to subvert the subversion and integrate modern day politics (disastrously) into the Revival, post here. His method was cheap and lazy while trying to prop itself up as the "decoder" of the modern conspiracy mind while also reminding us, the audience, that the writers (read: Carter) can see the humanity in unexpected places.

NOW-- probably because he'd gotten so much push-back-- CC's taken all that back and said the opposite message: that the truth will be dismissed as "fake news" because that's the world we live in. MEANWHILE, he propped up those "fake news" websites in the previous Struggle because he wanted to prove how magnanimous and "love conquers all" his vision is-- and that the government is the big bad and the crazies, while off, are doing their best to expose it. NOW that Trump got inaugurated, Carter's message was now opposite to mainstream political sentiment and I'll BET he pivoted because he got caught in a raging war that pointed fingers at him.

In short: Carter was trying to promote "love and unity against the big bad government"-- which, fine, write that message well and do it justice-- but immediately pivoted to "the big bad government exists but REALLY it's not the Democrats or Republicans because the crazies call them the Deep State while we, the Syndicate, are the REAL Deep State and the crazies won't figure it out because they'll brand the truth with 'fake news'."

...Do you see how slimy that is? CC backed away from the heat when he could have stuck to his vision and fleshed it out properly. Instead, he buckled under pressure and flipped on a dime to a completely opposite narrative perspective. AND HE DID BOTH SO BADLY that it's infuriating whether we watch him sloppily justify Tad O'Malley or anti-Trumpian government rhetoric. It's....

Word of the day: Poser.

I don't care about your monologue, CSM.

I don't care about your monologue, Mulder.

WAIT.

Mulder was going to CSM's this whole time, not to meet up with Jeffrey.

Because the writing was so unclear (because it's SO BAD), we were led to believe he was meeting up with Jeffy boy.

But because the writing was, again, unclear, we're then given whiplash when he keeps driving to CSM's....

So... CSM's guys were trying to kill Mulder, got it.

That's still bad and dumb and stupid and reckless.

JUST WAIT FOR HIM ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD SOMEWHERE WITH A REALLY SICK RIFLE AND SNIPE HIM AS HE DRIVES BY.

OR HAVE CSM CALL A MILITIA TO GUARD HIM SO WHEN MULDER SHOWS UP THE LATTER'S PLUGGED FULL OF HOLES.

Does NO ONE think???????

For a SPLIT second there, Mulder sounded out-of-control when Scully called, as if his emotions were spilling into insecurity and fear and tears. For a SPLIT second, Mulder being pushed into old patterns that would explain his depression-- helplessness-- surfaced.

AND THEN IT WAS GONE.

Also, it wouldn't have made sense because that's not how he acted in My Struggle I or My Struggle II when situations became out of his control, but oh WELL.

Scully collapsed again. Great.

I don't care about Monica trying to talk CSM down-ish.

STOP WITH THE MONOLOGUES.

Wait. WAIT. WAIT.

OKAY, HOLD UP.

Scully collapsed the first time: Skinner couldn't drag Mulder away, Scully couldn't send him away.

Doctor confirms she believes the visions are real, Mulder leaves.

To kill CSM?

So he follows Scully's vision directives to Spartanburg.

...BUT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN HER VISIONS.

OR BELIEVES THEM BUT DOESN'T WANT HER INVOLVED??

And when she collapses AGAIN, OVER THE PHONE, LIKE DUANE BARRY BUT IN REAL TIME, he--

Likely calls Skinner and just keeps driving to a place she dreamed up that he does or doesn't believe in to kill or not kill a man that may or may not even be alive.

What sense does this make?

None.

"I was running on only adrenaline and Scully's premonitions." SO YOU DO BELIEVE HER BUT KEEP TRYING TO TALK HER DOWN BUT KEEP DRIVING BUT WON'T RETURN TO HER NOW THAT SHE'S COLLAPSED AGAIN.

If My Struggle I thoroughly butchered Scully, then My Struggle III thoroughly butchers Mulder. This is just as bad as MSI. (MSII is somehow a distant second to both, wow.)

It's confirmed CSM is "in love" with Scully. Yeah, we been knew, thanks for rechewing that cud, Monica Reyes (read: CC.)

So, CSM IS at another location.

This is not clever, by the way, because CSM and Monica both tremble over Mulder finding them, which means they were worried he was coming to their location, which MEANS that the actors were directed to act a certain way JUST to keep the "surprise" in tact.

Stupid.

Skinner just walks down to the office. DID MULDER TELL HIM SCULLY COLLAPSED AND SKINNER JUST TOOK HIS SWEET TIME, OR DID MULDER NOT TELL ANYONE AND KEPT DRIVING???????

(Also, she's gone to find William?)

Monica has a gun to Skinner's head. Always thought that was in MSiV.

Reyes is delusional, by the way, because she's doing all this dirty work (and potentially plotting Mulder and Skinner's murders) to protect Scully. That's... just....

CSM just hops into Skinner's car like no big deal.

Kill him right now Skinner. Monica's not armed. And even if she is, you've killed Krycek before-- this would be, per your OWN personality, a fitting end. There is no excuse after this.

Scully's driving while having a seizure. No wonder Mulder doesn't fully trust a word she says right now.

Goofy, predictable car crash. So she, too, accomplished nothing. Fantastic.

New bad guy I don't care about who worked in the Syndicate is here with info, yaddayaddayadda.

Skinner does NOT kill CSM. Great.

Global warming made the aliens disinterested. Sure, Jan.

Mulder has to kill CSM or he'll never see his son again. ...stupid.

12:37 left.

We already knew the CSM was megalomaniacal, but this new dude's series of events is so old news it's pathetic. Also, the Consortium already ostracized and cut CSM out, multiple times, when he kept them in the dark or did something Idiot Carl-adjacent (post here.)

Seeds are being planted that Mulder will distrust Skinner (who is being sent to find William) but that doesn't explain WHY HE WAS ALREADY HOSTILE TOWARDS HIM IN THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!

11:51 left.

CSM tries to say he played god with alien life forms to prevent a virus he knew would come... and YET that doesn't add up because his own flashbacks (which might be canonically false, who cares) in Musings shows him and Deep Throat carrying out the world-wide mandate to kill all alien life forms they find. Not to mention the entire globe trying to find a cure for THE ALIEN VIRUS THAT WOULD BE USED IN COLONIZATION.

Spartan virus: alien in origin but from our planet, get real. The writers copied their own alien virus homework.

11:20 to go.

They're doubling down on the faked moon landing. At least Cassandra Spender got a stupid cameo as a 1950s-in-the-60s housewife stereotype. Probably exactly how CSM saw her. Also, mind-numbingly, embarrassingly stupid to pretend CSM faked the moon landing WHEN JIMMY CARTER SENT A MESSAGE FOR THE ALIENS INTO SPACE AND CSM'S CRONIES KEPT AN EYE OUT FOR ANY SIGNAL THAT MIGHT RETURN (Little Green Men.) NONE OF IT ADDS UP.

Can I skip? Please, can I skip through?

A secret space program... via these new Syndicate cronies... to save the chosen elites....? You know, I'll bet Carter will rebrand this moment into a 20/20, third-eye-opened, saw-the-future dig at Elon Musk someday. Watch out for it.

Syndicate dude: "No one can save us."

Mulder: "I'm someone who can save us."

...Sssssssssomething feels off here, but at least Mulder FINALLY called out the liars and hypocrites two seconds ago. Small wins?

Agents Miller and Einstein JUST HAPPENED to be there when Scully got in a car accident, and Scully just HAPPENED to still be wearing her hospital bracelet so she could be brought RIGHT BACK to the same hospital.

This.

Episode.

Achieved.

Nothing.

It's worse than My Struggle II because that episode, at the very least, attempted to set up something. At least Scully was accomplishing something, at least Mulder was going in one direction with one goal. At least Scully figured everything out and was doing her best to save the world.

Now? Both are idiotic losers who drive while suffering from seizures and don't listen to then disregard then believe without any connective tissue. And Mulder now might distrust Skinner but he already did for no reason, so literally nothing was accomplished.

I'm....

7:57 left.

Mulder now knows Scully's hospitalized-- via the most unprofessional phone call from the same doctor earlier ("Just wanted to let you know she's here"??)-- and will now probably believe Scully is just suffering from a compound issue that is making her behave irrationally.

Oh, great. NO ONE is watching Scully and someone just brushes past Miller and Einstein and now Scully's gonna be killed in her room.

Look, before it even happens, let's break this down:

Miller and Scully and Einstein and MULDER can't even sense when someone's being suspicious (Babylon and here, for example.)

Assassins just walk in and start killing people in hospitals, despite Scully being hooked up to monitors and likely given an even more watchful eye given her medical regression.

Mulder is going to kill this man with a medical tool instead of, I don't know, INTERROGATING HIM FOR ANSWERS.

WHY DOES EVERYONE BEGIN BY TRYING TO KILL SOMEONE THEY NEED TO ESCORT OR GET INFORMATION FROM.

This is edgy, middle-school boy's first rough draft. You know this boy was soooooooo popular during lunch time.

...Isn't this the guy from the second Syndicate groupies' room? So, WAIT.

Either that was a CSM goon (who took his sweet time killing Scully????? and was doing this on CSM's ORDERS????)--

Y'know, CSM who WANTED TO SAVE SCULLY

BUT DECIDED TO KILL HER, I GUESS, IF SHE WAS GOING TO FIND WILLIAM FIRST????????????????--

Or: this is Second Syndicate cronies' goon

Who drove ahead to beat Mulder here but only BARELY??

And who wasn't stopped because of the monitors or other security personnel

BUT BECAUSE MULDER, who was how many miles behind him, MADE IT THERE IN TIME TO SAVE HER.

I'M SO TAPPED OUT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Scully, exchange places with me, please:

I will say:

I can see how Mulder would be in this position, ironically. NO, he would not kill a man like he did, but he would absolutely inflict permanent injury.

He's been pushed to the brink this entire episode; and if that had been done more naturally, more realistically, then it, perhaps, could have even justified this death.

BUT IT DIDN'T, because that would be hard.

Because Mulder doesn't have a bloodthirsty, reactionary nature even when high on adrenaline, even when pushed to his lowest point (One Breath, Pusher, Talitha Cumi, Kitsunegari, etc.)

Lastly, NONE OF THIS MADE SENSE LOGISTICALLY; and therefore it makes even less sense personally.

Mulder's pouting ('pouting'... wow, I'm really disconnected) in the hallway while he muses that there isn't just ONE conspiracy but TWO... WHO WOULD HAVE EVER KNOWN, WHAT A MYSTERY.

The fans got a thigh squeeze in a Chris Carter episode. The sky must be falling.

Scully says the Smoking Man didn't send the assassin because the Smoking Man won't harm her. ...Then the man was a lone psychotic or acting on the orders of the other Syndicate team. Which STILL doesn't make sense.

THE PLAYBACK FROZE AND I'M ON LOW BATTERY WITH FIVE MINUTES LEFT, WHY.

"The Smoking Man won't harm me."

"How do you know that?"

"He's held my life in his hands."

WUT.

Scully, he did something to you in En Ami; and even if your fertility was already healed in Amor Fati, you STILL tampered with you medically and claimed William as a miracle via his hands.

I am Mulder:

I will say: that was the most in-character beat between them I've seen in this show, other than the dark wizard exchange (maybe) and one other time or two--

WAIT.

So, the goons following Mulder in his car weren't CSM's??? They were the Second Syndicate man's goons???

Second Syndicate Man sent goons to collect Mulder.

Those goons try to KILL Mulder.

Has this show learned nothing concerning assassins using brute, maim-able force on someone they just want to escort elsewhere?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

"My visions are from William."

Mulder is given two seconds to react before the plot moves them forward.

"He's guiding me," insists Scully, "and you." (She said it differently, but I refuse to rewind and get the correct quotes.)

That's be something nifty to dig into--

"They're looking for him," says Mulder.

--THAT WE WON'T DIG INTO, I GUESS.

William already knows they need him to end the world...?

"They won't find him," says Scully. ...WON'T THEY, NOW.

HOLD UP.

William learned these things... how? From reading CSM's mind...?

And downloaded that info into Scully's brain.

Scully knows he won't be found and believes he is guiding her and Mulder.

...And then he's found and doesn't form a connection with her and doesn't even know WHY he's connected to her and goes on the run because he doesn't trust anyone.

And yes: CC and Morgan would have had to work on both scripts together and didn't BOTHER to iron out this important detail.

UGH.

"But he will find us."

"So we just... wait? Do nothing?"

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS, TUNE INTO SEASON 50 FOR WILLIAM'S BRIEF APPEARANCE, *cue closing ditty*.

You contradict yourselves FOUR EPISODES LATER.

"We do our work," shrugs Scully.

How. CONVENIENT. for the writers.

"The truth still lies in the X-Files, Mulder."

I'm about to go off.

No. The truth is a concept you cannot get. It is a LIE. The real truth was the love between you two. The real truth was the closure you both had in the original show-- coming into your own, finding your sister, making peace with your inner lives. Becoming whole people. The truth was that you could overcome Fate, conquer all through teamwork-- that no one gets there alone. That together you can forge a new and better future. That you could hold a miracle in your hands and that he be the every day, ordinary kind-- the kind neither of you had for a long, long time. The truth was each other, and the life you could build embracing that truth together.

INSTEAD, the writers still have them chasing lies on the files while sitting around miserably waiting for their son for an end game that might or might not happen, depending on Chris Carter's mood.

THAT is not the truth. THAT is not even the truth Carter originally meant. THAT is a lie that has sold itself as the ultimate lure so they and we and he can forever and ever amble down this road and into nothingness.

The truth is, Mulder and Scully are seekers and searchers and investigators-- and would be, forever. The truth is, they should be wiser now to know that "the Truth" with a capital 'T' is a lie and that their search must have reasonable and healthy personal boundaries and expectations. Instead, they treat it as an inevitability they have to sacrifice themselves for and never gain anything from. Instead, they muck about doing more "will-they-won't-they"s and dragging their feet on their cases and repeating idiotic rookie mistakes and forgetting the wisdom of experience and doubting their allies and not trusting the truths in themselves and each other. Instead, the truth has become "what current ideology can I capitalize on to keep this franchise afloat?" Instead, the truth of "Mulder and Scully will always be searching" has been mired with the lie of "the X-Files was always meant to be this way."

Get wrekt, writers. Get wrekt, show. Get wrekt what little expectations I still had.

Mulder immediately starts picking a fight with Skinner (who just arrived); and Skinner makes himself look so unnecessarily guilty by not saying, " I didn't get your call because I was looking for Scully. Her phone was on the ground in the basement and she was nowhere to be seen."

INSTEAD, he says, "Leave it alone."

I'm. Sooooooooooooooooooooooo. Done.

Mulder smells smoke on Skinner and Skinner won't answer so he shoves him-- not unlike an alpha chimp shoving the other alpha outside the monkey circle-- AND SKINNER LOOKS AROUND AND SHOVES MULDER BACK??????????????

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY??????????? TO MAKE MULDER KEEP HIS DISTANCE BECAUSE HE'S COMPROMISED AGAIN (which he isn't, as we learn in Kitten)???????????????????

Shut UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP.

At least in the flashback Skinner keeps calling CSM out on his self-delusions-- "Scully will take me"/"No, she won't-- not without Mulder"; "Either kill Mulder or her son"/"So this is just vengeance."

ALSO: not to be that nit picky fan that the writers hate, Skinner already faced this quandary in Deadalive and SHOULD REALIZE that the options presented are no longer binary. He can refuse to kill Mulder AND William; and work with his agents to keep their trust and take down the CSM.

Or, y'know, HE COULD SHOOT THE CSM RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

How is this episode still going?

OH, thanks, we're planting the En Ami suggestions here. THAT'S WONDERFUL.

Also, not to be that fan again, but just sharing a son with someone did not make you, CSM, particularly loyal to them (*ahem* abandoning Cassandra Spender, *ahem*.)

We're doing the "Who's the father?" again? And Skinner just... bought it? And is being all poopy towards Mulder so Mulder'll hate him and not look into it? And Mulder's buying it, hook line and sinker, despite seeing through Skinner's lies and bravado decades earlier?

SKINNER, of all people, IS BUYING WHAT THE CSM IS SELLING, WITH NO PROOF.

How did you philes stand to watch this episode?

Oh, look, William. I don't care.

CONCLUSION

This episode really was a creative exercise in responsive pivoting due to unhappy backlash, huh?

Last-second thought: I guess Mulder owns a muscle car now.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[skrunksthatwunk]

i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now

[irafuwas]

i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.

as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined

[blujayonthewing]

SUPREMELY frustrating that we found something actually really cool and intriguing and plot relevant in tonight's session but I'm still so constantly preoccupied with whether the DM is going to 100% kill us with sheer poor game design that I barely have enough brainspace left over to even enjoy it

[guinevereslancelot]

el oh el. just got to tell the guy who dumped me (to make more time for skiing) that yes you can ski on my property actually 😌

[too-many-paper-cranes]

oh hey the video is public now so i can post on tumblr about this without sounding insane! anyway everyone should go watch me and a few other speedrunners hunt fire for sport (randomizer edition)

[raininyourblackeyes]

omg i have an ask that says "what's your favourite ancient civilization?" that i'm so anxious to answer actually because i don't think i'm qualified to have one...? like i did want to study archaeology but my plan was to catch up to fun stuff and detailed facts in uni once i was away from my family because that was an easier way to live since my dad only valued mathematics and physics as something i should've been spending my time on. so like to avoid being called stupid and useless and disappointment to him more than was necessary, my knowledge of history in general was restricted to basic stuff we learned in school and when i started uni i deleted most of that stuff from my memory because well turns out i won't need that and it's easier not to think of an alternate universe where the pandemic didn't happen and i got out, instead of remaining stuck with my family studying pharmacy... and even from the school stuff, we only focuesed on mesopotamia, persia, ancient egypt and then everything else was europe. so my knowledge of ancient civilizations beyong that is that they existed. i was planning to learn about as much suff as possible during that summer before starting university but that obviously didn't happen and now i feel so underqualified to actually answer that harmless little ask. like answering ancient egypt or ancient greece or ancient rome because i remember the most about them from school because we did study those the most sounds boring but i also literally would need to google english spelling and exact names for anything more fun that i remember. like my knowledge is that little. i shouldn't be getting this worked up over an ask lmao but i don't want to have this rant be an answer to it so i have to get it out before i eventually gather what little i remember and try to figure out an answer

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC My Brother in the Mirror

Damian doesn't like mirrors.

He never mentioned the fact to other members of the family, but they are detectives and vigilantes, it's their job to be observant. Which, after so many years, becomes a habit.

Damian doesn't actively avoid the mirrors - he has a mirror in his bathroom, he didn't express any discomfort over going into a mirror labyrinth at some carnival they've attended (he expressed disgust over taking part in something so stupid, in his words, but that's a whole another story), and he actually spent a few minutes in front of the funhouse mirrors when no one was looking, watching his own reflection distort in various ways. He also has no problems with his self-image - he doesn't mind pictures of him taken at any time (unless it's Tim, but that's, again, a whole another story), he's drawn a few self-portraits that were rather accurate and he liked them.

He just doesn't like mirrors. For some reason.

His family, both close and extended, never questioned it. They did some gentle research to see if the dislike was caused by some kind of problem Damian was experiencing without telling anyone, but when they found no proof of that, they've just decided it was some quirk of his. Everyone has quirks. Dick doesn't like eating cereal like a normal person, Tim despises sleep, Steph is at war with any color other than purple.

That is, until one day, Tim witnesses Damian sitting in front of a mirror.

He is not even aware of it - the whole family is having a game night, and through some arguments and rearrangements on the couch, Damian ends up sitting on the left side of it, where his back is turned to one of the three mirrors in the room. Tim, who's lost the last round, is slumping in an armchair nearby, pointedly looking away from the screen where Damian and Jason are enthusiastically competing over the first place in Mario Cart. Of course, Tim can't just not watch it since he needs to know their strategies. But turning back around would also be admitting defeat.

The solution? Easy, watch the screen through the mirror.

Which is when he notices it.

Damian in the mirror doesn't act the same as Damian in the room. Out of the corner of his eye, Tim can see the real Damian moving around, shoving Jason with his elbow, fully concentrated on the game, and yelling something. Damian-in-the-mirror is sitting unnaturally still, the back of his head over the couch unmoving.

Tim forgets all about the game when Damian's reflection starts to turn around. Slowly and carefully, eerie in the way the horror movies are, the boy in the mirror turns his head around like an owl, his neck twisting inhumanely.

His eyes are green. Green like the toxic waste, like Jason's madness, like acid in cartoons, like the Waters of Lazarus.

Damian in the mirror smiles, his unblinking, gliwing eyes fixed on Tim, and his teeth are sharp and pointy, and there are too many of them, humans can't smile this wide.

"-im? Tim!" A hand nudges him in the shoulder, and Tim looks away from the mirror, finding Dick standing over him. The noise of the game room returns all at once, and, wait, when did it become quiet for Tim?.. He must have a strange expression on his face because Dick's easy smile falls slightly, and he frowns, "Is everything okay?"

Tim looks back to the mirror, but the green-eyed boy in the mirror is gone, and the mirror only reflects Damian as he is: sitting on the couch.

"Yeah," Tim shakes his head and forces a smile on his lips, "I just zoned out."

"Okay," Dick pats him on the shoulder and gives him the controller, "It's your turn now."

Tim takes the controller and turns around, facing the screen. Tim throws a quick glance at Damian, who had slid down on the couch so his head would not be in the reflection anymore. Tim sees the cold, warning hint to his eye, a clear do not speak of it message.

Tim doesn't like that the mirror is now behind him.

[teeskzagain]

"i'm popular with older sisters."

• synopsis: in which the lines have started to blur between your long-term neighbor, sim jake.

• warnings: heavily suggestive content (as in this is one step away from being just straight smut basically), jake calls reader "noona", dry humping, hickies/neck markings, slight dirty talk, desperate!jake

• wc: 1.1k

• a/n: im thinking of expanding this idea into a one shot, but please let me know if i should.

» imagine younger!neighbor jake, who one day barges into your house, ready to hang out with you and your family- he'd been bored with nothing else to do.

» neighbor!jake, who roams around the living room and kitchen in search of someone, before finally working his way upstairs (there was no one around) and sees that your door is open. immediately, he beelines straight down the hall.

» imagine younger!neighbor jake, who wastes no time storming into your room, excited that you're home, only to get told off harshly by you. you're on the phone with a friend, back resting against the bed frame as you wave at him to go away.

» after scolding him and returning back to your conversation, imagine younger!neighbor jake's reaction. his face would contort unpleasantly, nose turning upright at your dismissive attitude. he'd stand at your door frame, mumbling out, "noona." over and over again as a means of regaining your attention. though, you would just ignore him.

» imagine neighbor!jake, who doesn't appreciate how you're acting towards him, stalking up to the end of the bed. his whines of, "get off the phone." combined with, "just talk to me instead." begin to irritate you, with you purposely keeping your gaze away from him.

» younger!neighbor jake didn't like being ignored. which is why seconds later, he's crawling onto your bed and swiftly engulfing you with his body. after the many years spent together, he already knows what gets you the most distracted.

» imagine neighbor!jake who, as your busy yelling and fighting him off of you, begins to bury his head deep into your neck. he produces little groans into the crevice, saying such verbage as, "noona, i miss you so much. please, just missed you so much."

» imagine neighbor!jake smothering you with his weight when he starts to press his full lips against your skin, trying anything to get your attention. you fumble your phone in an attempt to hang up the call because absolutely no way would you let anyone know about this. no. no one could ever know. “we are not doing this right now.” you hiss softly once you know your friend is unable to hear the scuffle going on.

» "why not?" neighbor!jake rumbles into your skin, "don't you love it when i-" without any hesitation, he starts to nip at your skin and instinctively a sharp inhale has you levitating. his arms wrap tighter around your torso as you now begin to feel trapped underneath him. wrestling you deeper into the mattress, he can't help the light rut his pelvis does into your side. the need to just have you becoming ever so consuming.

» imagine younger!neighbor jake, who in actuality, came over to your house because he's been missing you a little more than a neighbor truly should. while, yes, he was missing the comforting presence you would always bring to him. your caring tendencies in an almost sisterly way.

» imagine neighbor!jake, who's true reason for visiting, was because he began to miss you. he started to miss your thick, velvet walls that always feel so fucking good around his strained cock. the tiny whimpers you would produce when you were overstimulated. how much cum he would squirt out because only you could ever get him so aroused. he's longing for it, and now he needs this asap.

» "jake...." murmuring, you feel your head roll to the side as neighbor!jake uses a hand to push it out the way, needing an even greater space to kiss and mark you up, "we need...to stop. we need to stop this now. my parents are gonna be home-ah...soon."

» younger!neighbor jake is too much in a daze to even register your concern. fuck, how could he pay attention? despite your protests, you're already whining softly into the air, the little huffs of your chest has both you and him heaving up and down. this is how it always starts. it starts with your refusal to engage, your mature attitude that battles his easy going one, before eventually you begin to falter.

» imagine neighbor!jake slowly pulling his head back to gage you from above, and then recieving all the confirmation he needs. his noona. so fucking pretty, the way you're eyes are shut tightly because you always get aroused so fast. you want this, no matter how many times you try to deny. the evidence is all of your face. god, he feels his cock buzzing because of that pretty face. you just make him so damn horny. after admiring you, he lowers himself once more and goes back to producing fat, lazy hickies all over your neck and grinding his tip against you.

» imagine younger!neighbor jake, who's cock is pulsing so hard that he's seconds away from cumming on himself. raking his dick into your body, the sloppy kisses, all of it acts as the perfect foreplay for him. but what really does it for him, is when your legs involuntarily widens and closes to cage him in, solidifying the unspoken agreement between you two.

» a tiny smile starts to spread across neighbor!jake's face as he switches between splotching you red and huskily speaking, "you ready now?" he lands a larger kiss on the middle of your throat, "i'll be quick, noona." his throaty voice vibrates just perfectly into your ears. "just how you like it."

» imagine younger!neighbor jake, who's moments from stuffing you raw, muttering sweet nothings into your skin. he grabs a handful of your pants fabric and quietly pulls it down to reveal your commando state. when he brushes his fingertips against your bare clit, you have to bite your lip to stop a shuddered moan from leaving. his hazy eyes look up to your contorted face, "kinda wish you wouldn't hold back. i wanna hear your pretty moans. i wanna hear your soft pleads. let me hear you-"

» as you go to let out a throaty mewl, imagine younger!neighbor jake's dismay when he suddenly hears the front door opening then closing and indistinct talking emerges from downstairs. with an, ‘oh fuck’, the two of you jump and scramble apart, the sounds of footsteps echoing around. someone starts to make their way upstairs as you both go from a state of startling shock to sheer panic.

"Y/N! We're home!"

*

*

*

*

[suiana]

yandere peacock x humming bird darling? :3

dont know about the humming birdbut i can DEFINITELY do peaCOCK yandere

in a world of demihumans, male peacocks are known for their bright and vibrant feathers. it is said that these feathers are usef to scare predators away and to attract any potential mates. however, in a society where looks are becoming more of the main focus, male peacocks have started to just use their flamboyant feathers to appear, well, more flamboyant. especially that one, your neighbour.

he's a flamboyant man, that's for sure.

he moved in next door and you haven't really saw him much. that was, until, he heard your singing and went 'holy crap, you're a beautiful singer'. well actually, you don't know if he said that. but he only started showing interest in you after you caught him standing outside the door to your karaoke room.

conveniently enough, that was when he started showcasing his... army of feathers, passing by your door several times as other neighbours complained about him blocking up the whole damn hallway. you live in a tiny apartment complex after all. that meant tiny hallways and little to no space to walk if someone decided to spread his feathers and pace up and down a certain door.

you don't know what to do except tell him you're not interested repeatedly. because let's be honest, do you really think this guy is gonna leave even after you reject him? he's just going to come back for seconds and say that he's simply showing his feathers because they're beautiful! not because he wants to woo you...

that definitely didn't happen already. yup, definitely not.

"𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓰𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓸𝓾𝓼..."

"good morning."

a quiet sigh escapes your lips as you lock your front door like you always do. lately though, you think that your door might be broken. it's always open whenever you return from your job. did you not lock it tightly enough? also for some reason there's always a hint of expensive floral fragance in the air. were you hallucinating? maybe a neighbour just bought some flowers?

well whatever, you'll just get a locksmith to see to your lock soon. maybe this weekend? as for the floral scent, it's no big deal. the scent is rather pleasant so you don't mind.

"heading to work, beautiful?"

you nod your head. yeah... another day of work at your boring job. you're really wasting your potential as a hummingbird demihuman. you could've been a famous singer by now!

orrrr... maybe not. you'd lose all your privacy if you became famous. no way in hell did you want that.

"be careful my pretty, i heard there's been a ton of accidents on the road these days. wouldn't want my neighbour to get hurt now, huh?"

oh how considera-

and there he was, flashing his damned feathers at you as a mysterious sparkle flashes around him. this... this stupid golden light that seemed to shine down on him, illuminating his godly sculpted features even more.

what a damn adonis.

no, he's more like narcissus. always admiring his beauty. you swear you've caught him staring at himself in a mirror store before while out shopping. that was one hell of a time.

you deadpan at him for a moment, just staring as he strikes pose after pose, body carefully twisted in such a way that would show off not only his feathers, but also his slender body. he's gorgeous, you have to admit that.

"have a good day neighbour."

"𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓸𝓸 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰- wait what? you're leaving already?"

your peacock neighbour deflates IMMEDIATELY, lips turning down into a pout as his feathers grow soft, falling down behind him. do his feathers act like a dick? you've always wondered that. they get hard and erect and soft sometimes. maybe you should ask him that someday.

"yeah, i have work dude. i'll be late if i stall any longer."

you waste not a single second before leaving him behind to pout childishly as a dark aura envelops him. you swear you even heard him mutter something about showing your boss who's in charge. what a weirdo. how would he even know who your boss is? dumbass.

what a weirdo your neighbour is, am i right fellas? definitely don't want him as your secret stalker, that's for sure! haha!

[hyunniesgirl]

I wanna be yours

Pairing: Bangchan x fem!reader

Summary: it was all a game to him, until all he could think about was you. He wanted to have all of you. Ruin all of you. Love all of you.

Or, the one where Chan is a cocky asshole who's going out with you just for fun and ends up falling in love.

Slightly inspired in the movie 10 things I hate about you.

Genres: angst, smut, fluff

Words count: 10,991

Masterlist

This content is +18 ONLY, minors do NOT interact!

Warnings: Corruption kink(kinda), dry humping, fingering, blowjob, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, pet names(princess, baby), Chan is cocky as fuck(and I'm here for it, stan cocky Bangchan), reader gets kinda insecure close to the end(let me know if I missed something)

A/N: should I be answering my requests or updating my series? Yes, did I spend too much time in a super long self indulgent oneshot? I did. It was supposed to be just smut with corruption kink 😭 turns out I can't write the porn without the plot.

It all started as a game for him. He just didn't guess how much you would mess with his head.

Bang Chan doesn't care much about college, with a promising career in music, he's just attending classes so his parents won't nag him too much.

That means he's bored all the time.

So when Jeongin, his youngest friend, begged him to win his girlfriend's sister over and date her for a bit, he almost accepted right away, yearning for some fun. But he didn't, not before knowing who you were.

That's how he ended up here, trying to find you in the middle of communication class. He didn't need to look too much, from Jeongin’s description, he could find you in the blink of an eye.

“A pretty girl, probably wearing black or some neutral color and she'll probably be in a corner. She's very shy, when you speak to her don't be too straightforward, you may scare her”

The way Jeongin described you didn't show any ill intent and he was always a good guy, that's why Chan considered accepting his offer in the first place. He must have his reasons for almost kneeling in front of his friend, asking for him to date you.

Chan sits behind you, observing every movement you make. You're indeed pretty and you really are shy. He notices how you want to raise your hand every time the professor asks a question, but you always hesitate and someone speaks over you. Every time you try to speak, some rude person cuts you and instead of getting mad, your face turns red and you shrink in your seat, trying to make yourself even more invisible.

There's something about you, Chan can't tell what it is, but it's something amusing about how you behave. Someone like you could have every guy in this university wrapped around your little finger and every girl wanting to be your friend.

As soon as the class ends, Chan sends a text to Jeongin, telling him he will do it. He doesn't waste time, waiting for everyone to get out of the classroom while you're still collecting your things.

“Hey”, he says out of nowhere, making you jump and look at him with huge doe eyes. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you”.

He kinda did want that, though, curious to see how you would react, he thought maybe you would raise your voice and curse him, but you reacted as calmly as possible.

“It's okay”, you mumble.

You keep organizing your things, trying to ignore his presence.

“So, I wanted to ask if you can let me borrow your notes”, he asks, making puppy eyes.

You turn back to him and Chan can almost see the gears turning inside your head.

“Why does he want my notes if he just attended the same class?” It's written all over your face.

“I pulled an all nighter studying for another class and kind of dozed off earlier”, he lies, smiling sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck.

You stare at him for a bit, pondering if you should say yes, actually, let's be real: can you even say no?

This is Bang Chan, handsome and popular, everyone knows him and the other two guys from 3racha. The last you heard, he didn't care much about classes since he's already progressing in his music career so you still don't understand why he wants to borrow your notes.

“Yeah, okay”, you nod, deciding to agree so this conversation can be over soon. You pull your notebook out of your bag and hand it to him. “Just make sure to give it back by next class”

“Sure, thanks”, he gives you a big bright smile that makes you gulp while staring at him, just a few minutes in his presence and you already know something very important: this man is dangerous.

You look around awkwardly, not knowing what Chan wants more. He's just standing there, staring at you.

“I'll get going then”, you sigh, feeling exhausted by this whole interaction.

You turn around, walking to the door, leaving Chan there, dumbstruck. Jeongin was right, you have no social skills, but you're much more entertaining than he made you out to be.

—

You're having lunch with Yuna, your sister, and Jeongin, her boyfriend, in the cafeteria. You like spending time with them, they are probably the only people you feel comfortable around in this university.

You met Jeongin three months ago. Your sister came home giggling like a child on Christmas, sat on your bed and told you she got a boyfriend.

You ran to your door, closing it after checking that your parents weren't around. There's only one rule in the house: your younger sister must not date before you do.

Your parents are not conservative or anything like that, they just had you two later than other parents, so they are very overprotective. You don't know exactly the reason why they set this rule, maybe it's because they are sure you're never going to date.

Yuna is your best friend, she was a sickly child so all those interactions and fights that normal sisters have, you didn't. You spent most of her childhood and a huge part of yours by her side in the hospital. Fortunately, she was able to go back to a normal life by the time she was becoming a teenager, she was always a social butterfly even in the hospital everyone loved her.

You always thought it was unfair that she had to wait to have a boyfriend simply because you are not interesting enough or can't even hold a conversation properly without stuttering, but there was nothing you could do about it. You even tried arguing with your parents about it but it always ended with them telling you to forget about it.

You see Jeongin waving to someone, something is off, they never invite anyone to eat with them. A tray is settled by your side and you look at the person who sits in the seat next to yours: Bang Chan.

“Hello again”, he smiles at you, a handsome smile with dimples showing and everything. He greets the others after.

You look at Yuna and Jeongin, she is frowning just like you and her boyfriend is eating like this is an ordinary situation in your daily lunch.

“Hi”, you sister answers, “I don't think we met before”

“Oh, yeah, I'm Bang Chan!” He stretches his hand so she can shake it. “Jeongin is an old friend and I have communication class with y/n”

“Ah”, she nods, looking at her boyfriend. You stay in silence, playing with your food, waiting for Jeongin to send Bang Chan away.

“Babe, I forgot I have a project due tonight”, Jeongin says, slapping the palm of his hand on his forehead. He stands up, “can you help me? Chan will keep y/n company.”

No. You don't want him to keep you company. Your eyes widen and you stare at your sister, trying to send her a mental signal so she won't let you alone with him.

What you don't see, it's that she has already caught up on the way Bang Chan is looking at you and she might think she understands what's happening.

“Okay, yeah. Take care of her”, your sister says, smiling apologetically to you while she gets up and follows Jeongin out of your sight.

You should just throw your food away and go to the library, maybe you can eat a sandwich.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” You hear Bang Chan's voice before you can put your plan into practice, turning around to look at him with the most terrified face he ever saw on someone. “Ouch, does the idea scare you so much?” He jokes.

“Why would you want to go on a date with me? We just met yesterday”, you point out, holding yourself back so you won't just stand up and run away.

“I find you interesting, it's just a date so we can get to know each other better”, he shrugs. He's so nonchalant about it, while you're freaking out inside.

“I don't think that's a good idea, I'm not good at keeping conversations, you'll get bored”, you say frantically. You just didn't expect him to laugh.

“I can do all the talking, I love to talk"

Chan knows this move is risky and there's a high probability you won't accept, but he just felt like asking you at that moment.

“Are you sure you won't get bored?” You ask.

His eyes widen and he nods, are you really considering it?

You are, obviously. You bet no one could ever guess, but Bang Chan is your ideal type, actually he is probably everyone's ideal type.

He has the kindest smile you have ever seen and the way his eyes turn into crescents when he's smiling makes your legs weak. He met you yesterday, but you know him since 3racha performed in the university’s festival last year. Since the first time you two crossed paths, everything about him, appearance wise, seemed appealing: his dark eyes, his smile, his dark curls, his broad shoulders and his muscular body. That's why you freaked out so much when he spoke to you yesterday, you never thought he would give you the time of day. So you would be dumb to reject his offer.

“Okay”, you nod, handing your phone to him. “You can put your number there, I'll text you so you can save my contact”, you say and he stares at the device for a few moments before picking it up and typing his number.

This was easier than he thought.

—

“Do you have pepper spray with you?” Your mother asks for the 30th time in the last hour.

“Yes, mom. I'm going on a date with another student, he's not a criminal”, you tell her and your father tsks.

“There are alot of students that commit crimes”, he says.

“I know”, you sigh, “don't worry, I have pepper spray, emergency numbers and I'll turn on my localization”

Your sister is watching the scene unfolding in front of her, while she chuckles.

“You shouldn't laugh, if I start dating you will go through the same thing when it's your time”, you whisper at her and she sighs.

“You're not going to this date just so I can officially date Jeongin, right?”

You grin.

“You think too highly of me, I'm not that selfless”, you hear the sound of a horn in front of your house, “I'm going on this date because he's hot”

Chan thought you were pretty in your everyday clothes but after seeing you ready for your date he just couldn't take his eyes off you. You're wearing a little sundress with thin straps holding your much too generous and low cleavage. Your hair is down and your lips are red with lipstick.

He's waiting for you outside of the car so he can open the door for you, but when you stop in front of him, he just doesn't move.

You frown, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Are you okay?” You ask and he snaps out of his daze.

“Yeah, you're just too pretty”, he tells you honestly, “I just couldn't believe I'm so lucky”

You feel your skin hotter, you're sure your whole face must be red like a tomato.

The restaurant you are going to have dinner at is a bit further than you thought, it takes at least one hour by car to get there.

“Were all the places close to the city closed?” You try making a joke and he smiles.

“Considering your personality, I thought you would like this place better”, he tells you while you go in. A person greets you two, leading you inside. There's no open space, the building is full of rooms and you're guided to one of those. There's a glass wall in the back of the room with a view to a lake and a waterfall, there's colorful lights everywhere, making it even more beautiful.

“So, when I was searching for a nice place to go on a date, I came across this one.” Chan starts speaking and you notice there's a small stove on top of the table. “There's no attendants, so we will cook our own food and only call them if we want more servings”, he explains, pulling the chair so you can sit.

“Oh”, you feel a weird feeling on your stomach, are these the butterflies your sister told you about? You never knew something like this existed and the fact that he was attentive enough to take your shyness into consideration while choosing the place of your date makes you melt inside. “Thank you”, you tell him after sitting.

You don't shut up the whole night. This is the first time you feel so comfortable with someone other than your family.

“So, you want to work with entertainment?” He asks surprised.

“Yes, I really like the whole thing about managing an artist, it sound exciting”, you smile happily, “who knows, maybe one day I can manage 3racha”

“You have heard 3racha?” Chan asks, surprised.

“I really like your music”, you tell him, “besides, everyone knows about you guys”

“Yeah, but I didn't know you knew about us”, he smiles charmingly, leaning on the table while clasping his hands. “So does that win me some points? Maybe a kiss?”

You already are red because of the wine, now you feel your whole face hot. You're already feeling a bit out of it, not drunk enough to make a bad decision but definitely drunk enough to lose a bit of your shyness.

“I don't know how to kiss”, you say simply, no further explanation.

Chan almost chokes on the air he just breathed, he didn't think you would be so blunt about it. Curiously, he finds your innocent face while saying that too enticing.

“I can help you with that”, he says, tilting his head and winking.

“Would you really?” You ask and he nods. “Like now?”

Chan didn't expect that to happen so soon, especially with someone as shy as you. But he won't refuse your offer.

“Are you done?” He asks, eagerly, standing up and you nod. Chan stretches his hand to you, waiting for you to hold it.

He takes you to his car, helping you get in and fastening your seatbelt. He's not in his right mind, not at all, he didn't even drink so why is he so excited? He doesn't think he ever felt this way about a kiss. He drives for a while, looking for the drive in movie theater he had read about while looking for the restaurant.

After fifteen minutes he parks his car behind others, there are a lot of people there to watch the movie.

You have your hands on your lap, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. It's so endearing how innocent you are.

“Would you like to take a seat?” He asks and you frown, looking around and then looking at him. You are already seated.

He tilts his head, chuckling and patting his lap. You nod so fast, it's embarrassing. He smiles, seeing you climb on top of him, legs are over the cup holder, you're using him as a literal seat.

“You never kissed anyone?” He asks, while you adjust yourself on top of him, his breath hitting your neck, making goosebumps rise all over your body. You shake your head, feeling a bit insecure, what if you are no good?

Chan bites on his lower lip, shifting a bit so you won't feel his hardening cock under you, you're just too cute, too sexy.

“Okay, I'll go slowly, we can stop anytime you want”, he tells you, brushing his hand on your arm all the way to your neck, making you close your eyes to his touch. He pulls your face closer, touching your lips with his, it's warm and soft, it feels like heaven.

He brings his other hand to your cheek, caressing. He pulls back a bit, just enough so he can speak.

“Open your mouth for me, baby”, he tells you and you obey instantly, feeling his lips back on yours. His tongue brushes against yours and you whine, lifting your hands to grab on his shoulders to steady yourself, causing your ass to rub on his cock. Chan groans, making you flinch, did you do something wrong?

He notices your hesitancy, so he slides his hand to your waist, squeezing you in reassurance.

“Are you sure you have never done this?” He asks playfully and you smile, shyly.

“Can- Can we do it again?” You whisper, making him chuckle. Dear god, would he be able to stop this with just kisses?

“Did you like kissing me, princess?” He teases, seeing you blush. Chan wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you even closer. He lands a kiss on your exposed collarbone, tracing kisses up to your neck.

“You smell so good”, he tells you before leaving a kiss on your jaw, then on your chin and finally a peck on your lips.

“Must taste even better”, he thinks, smiling to himself.

Your phone starts ringing, taking you two out of that hazy atmosphere. You feel embarrassed now, not believing you actually acted that way. Going back to your seat, you pick up the call, it's Yuna.

“Mom and dad are freaking out because you stopped moving for too long”, she whispers. Shit, you forgot your localization was turned.

“Tell them you called Chan and I'm alright, my phone just died”, you instruct her.

“Yeah, got it, just hurry”

Chan probably heard the conversation, but you still feel upset that he started the car right away and drove fast back to your home.

When you arrive in front of your house, you're not sure if you should kiss him goodnight or just wave, both are awkward options for you, so you go with the one you want the most.

You grab his arm and pull him closer to you, kissing him on the lips. Chan is quite surprised with your bold action, but he won't complain, he can't get enough of your lips.

“I will text you when I get home”, he says after pulling away and you nod.

You get out of the car and walk to your door, stealing glances at Chan. He's giggling at your antics, watching until you are safe inside your house.

He should be thankful to Jeongin, he's finally having a good time.

—

Chan is taking his mission seriously, he's texting you everyday and even stopped seeing all his fuck buddies. This is the closest he ever got to a relationship, but you're not official yet.

Especially not when you're avoiding him like the plague when it comes to meeting face to face. You answer his texts normally but he has to literally hunt you down so he can find you in this damn university and if you see him before he sees you, it's game over, you'll hide immediately and he has to begin his search all over again.

This time, though, he caught you off guard. You are at the library, seated alone, trying to focus on the book you have in your hands.

He smiles to himself, knowing you can't escape anymore. Chan leans over, caging your body with his two hands around you, gripping the table.

“I missed you, baby”, he whispers and you shiver, feeling butterflies on your stomach.

“H-hi”, you say, closing your book and taking a deep breath.

You will not try and pretend you didn't hide from him for almost a week. But that's not your fault, it's your brain's.

After Chan left you home, you ran to your room, still feeling all tingly and hot from kissing him. Since Yuna didn't come to your room you guessed she was already asleep, so you took your makeup off, took a long bath and snuggled in your nice sheets.

The thing is: you had the most lewd, filthy, awfully good dream that night. You could never even say the things Chan did to you in that dream out loud.

You woke up sweaty, heavy breathing and panties soaked, this never happened to you before.

You just couldn't look at his face after that, you felt dirty and guilty with having those thoughts about such a nice guy.

“Am I wrong or were you avoiding me?” He asks, not moving from behind you.

“No- I wasn't”, you turn around to look at him, bumping into his face too close from yours. He glances at your lips, biting his lower one and chuckles. “I was just, hm, kinda embarrassed”, you tell him, aware that he's going to know right away if you try lying.

“Embarrassed about what?” He asks, tilting his head.

“I don't know”, you look away, trying not to give in and tell him about your dream.

“I think you should come to my place so we can talk about it”, he says and you choke on your own spit, struggling to function correctly. Did he just ask you to go to his house? Just you? And him? Just the two of you?

The apartment is not far from the campus, it's a maximum twenty minutes walk. The building is nice and modern, it absolutely matches what you had imagined Chan’s place would look like.

His apartment is huge, it's not possible that he lives there alone.

“I have three roommates, Jisung and Changbin you already know and Hyunjin, he's an arts major”

“Hwang Hyunjin? I know him, he's friends with my sister”, Chan nods, he forgot your sister dates Jeongin, she probably knows his entire group of friends.

“Do you want to drink something?” He asks, looking at you while you walk around the living room, looking at every corner but not at him.

“Water is fine”, you say, looking at some pictures he has with his friends. He always has that breathtaking smile that makes all your insides turn around.

“What about watching a movie?” He asks out of nowhere, sitting on the sofa. He looks at you, an arm resting on the back of the sofa.

“Sure”, you walk to him, sitting on the far corner. Chan has to bite back a laugh so you won't feel embarrassed, do you really think it's so easy for you to get away from him?

He turns on the movie, adjusting himself on his seat. You're really trying to pay attention to what's going on on the screen, but you just can't. Not when Chan's scent is all over the place, making you remember about your dirty dream.

He knows you're restless, he can see you fidgeting by his peripheral vision.

“Are you uncomfortable?” He asks, turning his head towards you, with a smirk plastered on his lips. “Maybe you can sit here again, I'm sure you are going to like it better”, he pats on his lap.

You feel your face red.

“Stop teasing”, you mumble, pouting, “that's not nice”

He chuckles. If you're not coming to him, he has no problem going to you, so Chan slides his body closer, making you stare at him with a frown.

He raises his hand to your face, cupping it and caressing your cheek.

“Tell me you don't want this, princess, I'll stop”, he says. But you want this more than anything in the world, how could you not?

You lean a bit, trying to close the gap between your mouths. Oh, how much Chan missed your soft lips, he felt almost like going through a withdrawal staying so long without kissing you.

You learn fast, your mouth opens right away after your lips touch. In a bold move, your tongue is the one to look for his first, making him groan. He puts his right hand on your thigh, squeezing it harder than he predicted, but he didn't predict the bite you would give on his lip at that exact moment.

Chan grabs your hip, pulling you up to his lap, this time with a leg on each side of him. You're looking at him in that innocent way when all he has on his mind are the dirtiest thoughts. He caresses your thigh, sliding his hand to grab your ass and pulling you closer to him.

“Will you tell me now, why you were embarrassed? You looked pretty fine when I left you home after our date”, he asks and you blush instantly, oh, you forgot about the reason you are here. You can't tell him about your dream, you'll die of embarrassment if you do.

“It was- nothing”, you lie, avoiding his eyes. Chan noticed this already, you always look anywhere but him when you are lying to him.

Maybe he'll have to make you tell the truth.

“Really?” He says, skeptical. “Then you were just being mean? Playing with my feelings after just one date?” He's teasing, he knows you'll give in eventually, it's just a question of time.

“No, I wasn't”, you argue, with a frown on your face, your lips shut tight in a pout.

“Baby”, he calls, your legs would definitely give out if he called you like that while you were standing. “I don't like liars”

Chan slides his hands up to your ass, grabbing a handful and pulling you closer. You can already feel something hard beneath you, making you shift and adjust on his lap, involuntarily seeking some friction. Your core is aching, just by staying so close to him.

“I'm not lying, that's mean”, you try changing the subject and he chuckles.

Chan comes closer, lips brushing against yours, his breathing hitting on your mouth, everything just making the wet spot on your panties grow bigger and bigger. He kisses you, a nice and soft kiss with his tongue caressing yours gently.

Chan notices that you're moving your hips slightly, trying to feel his cock. He smiles during the kiss, pulling away while putting his hands on your hips, guiding your movements to be harder.

“Hm”, you whine, feeling his hard on giving you the friction you're looking for. His hand cups your cheek, pulling you closer into a kiss again.

You never felt this way, like ever. You did masturbate but it's different to do it with another person. It's just so good to feel Chan's touch on your skin, his breathing, his muscular arms holding you. You feel your orgasm coming, you can't believe you're going to cum by just rubbing yourself on this man.

Chan knows you're almost there, that's when he grabs your hips steadying you, not letting you move further. He earns a whine from you, an angry look on your face.

“I will only let you keep going if you tell me why you were embarrassed and avoided me”, he says cockyly and you shake your head, trying to move again but his grip on your hips is too strong.

“I don't wanna”, you tell him.

“Then, I guess you won't be cumming today”, he shrugs. “At least, not with me”, he smirks to your face becoming even redder.

“You're such a meanie”, you whine, pouting, still trying to move again but he just won't let you.

“Are you going to tell me what I want to know?” He tilts his head.

You ponder for a moment, what should you do? It's not going to end here, if you don't tell him right now, you're sure he won't let it go.

“I- I had a dream”, you start, trying to gather some courage.

“Uhm”, he nods, “what about it?” He asks curiously, feeling strangely aroused by the way you're looking around, lips pulled into a line and the way you're speaking leads him to believe you're talking about a wet dream.

“Li- like one of those dreams”, so he was right, did you have a wet dream about him? That's interesting.

“Hm, you'll have to be more specific, princess”, he pushes, “I don't think I know what you're talking about”

“I mean”, you groan, dropping your head to his shoulder so you won't feel his eyes on you. “A sex dream… with you”, you whisper.

The grin on Chan's face after you finish saying that, is priceless. He can feel his cock twitching, he's eager to know more.

“Tell me more about it”, he presses, “I really wanna know what happened in that dream that left you so embarrassed”

“Please, Chan. Don't make me say it”, you beg, but he's not having it. He likes seeing you blushing and struggling to talk dirty, it's endearing.

“No can do”, he grabs your shoulder to pull you away so he can look at your face. “I promise I'll give a nice reward if you tell me”

You nod. If he won't drop it, then you have to try and earn something over your embarrassing situation.

“I- like- you ate me out”, you start and he smiles, he would indeed love to do that. “And I s-sucked you off, it was nice”, you stumble over your words in each sentence. Chan can only feel even more turned on, your lips are so soft, he can't even picture what it would feel like to have them wrapped around him.

“Keep going, princess. You're doing great”, he reassures you. Chan loosens the grip on your hips, guiding your movements back and forth once again.

“And you said all these dirty things to me, I can't say it out loud, please”, he smirks, pulling you even closer and pressing your covered core against his cock.

“Did I tell you how good it felt to have your pretty little mouth sucking on my cock?” He asks playfully and you nod, feeling the warmth creeping in your face again while that tingly sensation grows bigger in your lower stomach.

“Did we fuck?” He asks, feeling himself getting closer to cum too.

“Yeah”, you nod frantically with your eyes closed shut. “You fucked me on all fours and in this same position too”, you tell him.

“Oh? Did you ride me? Did you like it?”

“I did”, you struggle to make your voice come out, feeling too light headed to even speak properly.

“There's something more, right, baby?” He feels his cock throbbing, he's almost at his limit.

“Yes, you- you choked me a bit, I liked that”, and that sentence was enough to make Chan reach his orgasm, being followed by you right after.

He can't believe he really did cum in his pants, like a fucking teenager. It's your fault actually, how can someone make him cum like this and still look angelic and innocent? Like you never told him he choked you and you liked it, even though it was a dream.

Chan kisses you eagerly this time, his chest is feeling hot and he feels a weird sensation on his stomach.

“You shouldn't feel embarrassed about this kind of thing”, he tells you and you nod, because it's true, “if it makes you feel better, I'm sure I had worse thoughts about you”, he smiles, seeing you blush.

“Like what?” You ask, curiously.

“Oh, I won't tell you”, he shakes his head, “you would never look at me again if you knew all the dirty things I wanna do to you”

—

Another week went by and now you were not avoiding Chan anymore. He follows you around pretty much all day at school, stealing kisses and pulling you to empty classrooms to have make out sessions.

It's time for him to meet your parents, it's not something he ever did, he never dated anyone after all. It's a Wednesday night, he brought flowers and a bottle of wine. So five minutes before the set time, he's knocking at your door.

Your sister opens up, greeting him but you're nowhere to be found until he hears your voice from upstairs.

“Is he already here?” You sound panicked and your sister giggles.

“Yes! Hurry up���, she says and Chan hears something falling and making a weird noise. It was not loud enough to be a person so he's not worried you fell, but he finds it funny to think about you nervously stumbling around.

When you show up at the top of the stairs, he has to blink a few times to actually believe you're real. You look so beautiful, showing your nice legs in a short skirt and your shoulders in a tank top.

“Hey”, you greet him, looking at the things he has in hands and he finally regains his composure.

“Hi”, he gives you a peck on the lips, “this is for you” he hands you a bouquet of red camellias.

You stop for a second, you never received flowers. Before you can answer him, your father's head is popping out of the living room.

“Why is it taking so long for you to bring this guy inside?”, he asks grumpy, he's not too happy about you dating but there's nothing he can do about it.

Chan straightens himself, walking to your father to greet him.

“Good night, sir. I'm Bang Chan”, he clears his throat when your father doesn't say a thing, just staring at him. “I brought this for you”, he shows the wine bottle and your father takes it.

“At least you have good taste”, he nods to the wine bottle Chan stole from his father's collection.

He turns around, shrugging to you and you smile, listening to your sister's chuckles. You take his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers.

In the living room there's a woman that looks too much like you and your sister to not be your mother, she smiles kindly at you two.

She's less intimidating than your father so Chan's greetings to her are less awkward this time. As time goes by, your parents warm up to him, making jokes and even telling him about your childhood.

“The night went great”, you say while walking Chan to his car. “Thank you for coming”

“Your parents are great”, he says, leaning on the door of his car. He takes your hands in his and pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Thank you for inviting me”

He looks so good tonight, his dark hair is carefully styled and he's wearing much more formal clothes than usual, making him look like a prince.

“Can I have a good night’s kiss?” He asks, slyly, seeing you eyeing him up. You nod, putting your hands on his chest and closing the gap between your mouths. Chan's hands slide from your waist to your ass, squeezing slightly, he can't get too into it since he won't be able to go further than a kiss tonight.

You pull away from him when you have to breathe, his lips are so inviting you could kiss him all night long.

“I will see you tomorrow”, he tells you.

There's something wrong with his heart, it's beating so fast he thinks he may be dying. After driving away from you, he calms himself a bit. It's not possible that you were the cause of that reaction, right? This is supposed to be fun, he only has to date you for a while and then break up, no strings attached. So why does he feel such hurt in his chest after thinking about leaving you?

After one more long and sleepless night Chan realized something: he is in love. This feeling snuck in so unexpectedly he didn't even notice he was falling in love. Chan never fell in love before, so he can only guess that this is how it feels to love someone.

He notices every little detail about you, he jokes around all the time waiting to hear you laugh about something he says. Chan likes the way you smell, the way you smile, the way you just look at him so focused while he is speaking. He is in love with your personality, your cleverness, your kindness, your beauty is just a bonus that makes him even more in love with you.

He wants to confess to you, ask you to be his girlfriend, to never leave him.

He even asked for your sister's help to make something for you, maybe a song, he can definitely make something beautiful and romantic for you. Maybe he can cook too, he wants to make you feel appreciated.

He's waiting for your class to finish, seated on the bench in front of the classroom while scrolling through his phone.

He feels someone sitting by his side and before he can look, a kiss lands onto his cheek. Chan puts his hand on his face, blushing and you laugh seeing his reaction. You two did much more than just a kiss on the cheek, why is he embarrassed about it?

“Did you miss me?” You ask him and he rolls his eyes.

“Of course I did”, he grabs your hand, interlacing your fingers. “Should we go to my place?” He asks and you nod, standing up, pulling him to get up too.

It's still a bit weird that you two are together, you never thought liking someone as much as you like Chan could actually happen to you, you could even say you're in love. The only thing that still makes you doubtful is the fact that he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend yet, you have been going out for a month and you do everything together, so why hasn't he made it official?

You still have many questions in your mind, sitting on Chan's bed while he makes popcorn and you choose the movie you're watching tonight.

He enters the room, closing the door and turning off the lights, two water bottles and a huge bowl in his hands.

“What movie did you choose?” He asks, but you can't hear it, your mind is too loud. “Y/N? Are you alright?” He asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Are we exclusive?” You ask out of nowhere, ripping the air out of his lungs.

“Yes”, he says firmly, “do you want to be with other people?”

Chan asked that, but he's holding his breath until you answer him, hoping you're going to deny. For a moment, you don't say a thing and seeing you hesitate makes his heart ache.

“No, I-” you try speaking, trying not to sound ridiculous, “I want to be exclusive, I just don't know if you want that”

Chan takes a deep breath, putting the things he has in hands on the nightstand.

“Of course, I want to”, he takes your hand into his, bringing it to his mouth so he can kiss the palm. He's feeling guilty, he's taking his time preparing a nice confession but you're feeling insecure. “I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't want things to get more serious”, he climbs on the bed, getting closer to you, “let me show you that you're the only one I want, hum? Can I?”

You suck on your teeth, knowing exactly what is about to happen but you just can't say no to him, let's be real, you don't want to say no to him. So you nod, making him smile.

Chan is eager to have you, he has been for weeks, just waiting for you to be ready to give yourself to him. He cups your face, pulling you closer and kissing you.

He helps you lay down on the bed, towering over you while landing kisses down your neck. You feel him biting on your shoulder and he brings his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up. His hands travel around your body, making you hotter.

“You're so pretty, princess”, he says, kissing your chest. You whine, he's taking too much time to get to the place you want the most.

“Channie”, you whisper, “please, touch me”, you ask him.

His smile grows bigger as he mumbles “your wish is my command”. Chan unbuttons your pants, pulling them down your legs, throwing it someplace in the room.

He slides his hand down to your core, your underwear is soaked. He pulls your panties down your legs and brushes a finger along your folds, collecting the wetness before inserting a finger inside, you arch your back to the feeling. It's delicious, but it hurts a bit. It's different from how it feels doing it alone.

“Is this okay?” He asks and you nod. “You're such a good girl, baby, all wet and ready for me.” He whispers, getting closer to your face again. I'm going to put another one”, he tells you. The sensation it's too much already, his fingers are too much.

“Chan”, you moan, “I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that”

“Oh? But I didn't even get to the better part”, he answers pressing his thumb on your clit, making circles.

“Fuck”, you whine.

His smirk grows while he keeps the movement of back and forth inside of you. Before he can tease you more, your legs are shaking and your tight hole is clenching around his fingers. You put your hand on your mouth, covering it so you won't make a loud sound, but he doesn't like that. He wants to hear how well he's fucking you.

“Let's not do that, okay? I want you to be loud, want to hear you scream my name” He says, pulling his fingers out of you and sliding them on his mouth. He comes closer, kissing your neck and face, helping you calm down after your orgasm.

Goosebumps rise all over your body, his kisses feel like fire on your skin, you thought you'd feel less horny after cumming, but you're still so turned on.

Chan kisses your chest, opening your bra. You feel embarrassed when he sees you completely naked.

“You're still dressed”, you point out, face red.

He gets out of the bed immediately, taking his shirt off and his pants too, crawling back to you in only his underwear. His cock is hard, outlined by the thin fabric of his boxers.

You feel the urge to touch him, maybe taste it. So you grab his length, making him groan.

“What are you doing, princess?” He asks, eyes closed from the pleasure of having your beautiful hands wrapped around him.

“I want to make you feel good”, you tell him, pushing his chest and making him fall on his back on the bed. You kiss his neck the same as he was doing to you, suddenly feeling possessive and sucking on the skin, leaving a few hickeys there.

You go down, kissing his chest and stomach, getting closer and closer to his throbbing cock. You pull his underwear down and his cock spring on your face.

“I just- you need to teach me”, you tell him. How can you look at him with such innocence in your eyes when you're about to suck him off?

“Hold the base”, he instructs, “now you can go up and down with your hand.”

 He feels your movements, making him groan. You are bolder than he gives you credit for, since you lick the head of his cock without being told to. You wrap his dick with your mouth, waiting for the next command.

“You can go up and down, princess, yes, like that” he moans, feeling his cock being embraced by your warm mouth.

Chan feels like exploding any time now, weeks of pent-up sexual tension being released. He sees you rubbing yourself on his bed while sucking on him, that just makes him crazier, he wants to make you feel good now, he can let you do the same for him another time.

“Baby”, you hear him say and you stop your movements. “I won't be able to last long with your soft mouth doing that, I need to feel you around my cock”

You nod, letting go of his cock and climbing up, stopping on top of Chan.

“I wanna be on top”, you say confidently.

“Let's do it slowly okay? I don't want to hurt you”, Chan tells you and you agree.

He grabs the base of his cock, brushing the head on your folds, trying to wet it enough to make it easier for you.

It feels like heaven when his cock finally slides inside of you, you're so tight he feels like he can cum at any moment.

Chan sees the pain in your eyes, he doesn't move, “do you want to stop?” He asks worriedly, putting his hands on your hips to stop you from moving but you shake your head.

You keep pushing it in, trying to relax. Chan kisses you, massaging your breasts to help you relax a bit.

When the painful part is gone and you're feeling all the good sensations back, you don't think you can stop, it's too addictive. You start riding on him freely, hands taking support on his chest and head thrown back, the pleasure is just too much, you'll be coming soon.

“Fuck, you look so good riding me, princess”, he says, feeling his own high almost catching him.

“Oh, Channie, I'm gonna cum”, you whine, fastening the movements of your hips, “please, oh, your cock feels so good”

For someone who couldn't talk about a wet dream a few weeks ago you sure talk dirty in real life, Chan chuckles, feeling you clenching around him and when you squeeze his cock for the last time he cums too, filling you up.

You collapse on top of him, breathing heavily. Your eyes are heavy, you're not sure if you can stay awake. Chan caresses your back and plays with your hair, making you fall fast asleep.

You wake up feeling just a bit sore. You're on cloud nine, the night was amazing. When you open your eyes, there's no one in the bed with you. You wrap yourself in the blankets trying to find and collect all your clothes scattered around the room.

The delicious smell that embraces your nose the moment you step out of the room, is enough to make you drool.

Chan is in the kitchen, dressed in nothing but sweatpants and an apron. That's right, he's shirtless. You're feeling bold today, so you get closer to him wrapping your arms around his waist in a back hug.

He lets out a laugh, putting his hand over yours and turning off the stove. He turns around, hugging you.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks, kissing your forehead and you nod, snuggling in his embrace.

“Why didn't you wake me earlier? I woke up missing you”

“Ow, my baby is so needy”, he teases, making you pout. “I was making you, breakfast”

“Hm”, you look at what he was cooking.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, a bit worried, it was your first time after all.

“I'm doing great”, you smile, “just a bit sore, but it's nothing”

He nods, putting his hands on your shoulders and turning you around.

“I'm happy to hear that”, he kisses the top of your head, guiding you to take a seat on the table. “Let's eat so we can go for another round then”, he smirks.

—

“Jeongin is coming here today?” You ask your sister and she nods frantically while fixing her hair.

“He's coming to ask dad's permission to date me”, she giggles excitedly.

“Alright”, you smile seeing your sister so happy.

You're the one opening the door for Jeongin while your sister is getting ready, he's clearly nervous but he's trying to keep his smile.

“Hey!” You give space for him to enter, “Yuna is almost done”

He nods, looking around. Your sister comes down minutes later, leading Jeongin to the living room.

Your father is less hostile to him than he was to Chan, maybe it's because Jeongin is adorable.

After an hour of conversation, you go upstairs, you have a date tonight and need to get ready.

The memories from your night with Chan flood your mind making you giggle and kick your feet, they have been your most cherished thoughts lately. It's a struggle but you finally end your bath after probably an hour.

You walk back to your room, you're already late. However, you stop in front of your sister's room when you hear voices being a little bit too loud.

“You did what, Jeongin?” your sister's voice is a pitch higher than usual.

“I didn't think things would get out of hand”, Jeongin answers, are they fighting?

“In what world did you think that was a good idea?”

“I was desperate, I'm not proud of that”, he answers back.

“There's no excuse for you to ask Bangchan to date my sister”, she tries speaking lower but you still can hear them. Your whole world crumbles with that one sentence, what does she mean by that?

“I didn't do it to be mean, I know how hard it is for your sister to get to meet new people, I thought it would benefit the both of us”, he tries explaining. Your heart is beating too fast, the throbbing in your ears grows stronger and your legs are giving out.

“How am I supposed to tell her now? She is so happy” Yuna cries out. “Don't come any closer, get out of here”, you panic instantly, they can't see you there. But you're too slow, when you finally manage to move Jeongin is swinging the door open. He stops on his tracks, turning white on the spot.

“Y/N-”, he tries to speak, but you run to your room before he can say anything else.

You can't believe this is actually happening to you, you thought that someone finally liked you but everything was a lie? That's not possible, right?

You are going to go to Chan, you two have a date, and he is going to tell you that Jeongin is lying, that he was just joking.

The uber to Chan's apartment doesn't seem to show up fast enough and the ride there couldn't be slower. You're restless, fidgeting with your fingers and shaking your legs.

You pay the man, practically running out of the car and running upstairs. The person who opens the door is not Chan but Changbin, you met him a few times when you were visiting the apartment.

“Hey, y/n”, Changbin greets you. “Chan is not home, but he will be here soon, I heard you have a date”, he says, letting you in.

“I'm going to wait for him in his room”, you tell him, too disturbed to worry about proper manners.

You walk back and forth in the room, anxiously waiting for Chan's arrival. You hear his voice after twenty minutes, he's talking to his friend in the living room when Changbin tells him you're there.

You can hear the fast footsteps leading to where you are, you take a deep breath, trying not to cry.

“Hey, baby”, Chan smiles at you, dropping his bag on the floor and walking towards you with open arms. “Did something happen?” He stops, noticing your face.

You stare at him for a minute, brows knit together and eyes trying to find the least bit of sincerity in the time you two spent together.

“Did you ask me out as a favor to Jeongin?” You ask and his standing falter, how did you find out?

“L-let me explain”, he says, taking a step closer to you.

“So you did”, you feel the tears trying to escape from your eyes.

“Please, just… just hear what I have to say”, he asks, trying to hold your hand, but you pull away from him.

“I don't want to hear a thing from you”, you tell him, running your hands through your hair.

It really was all a lie. How could you be so dumb?

You walk past him, trying to get out of the room, go anywhere but there. But Chan grabs your arm, making you stop in your tracks.

“Please, don't leave”, he begs. You feel a pang in your chest, but it doesn't make a difference since you're already hurting too much.

“You have no right to ask me that”, you pull your arm out of his grasp and walk out of the apartment.

It would be too humiliating to enter the uber while bawling your eyes out, so you decide to walk. You walk for a long time before your feet start hurting and your eyes are burning from how much you cried. You can't believe you really let yourself fall pray to such a scheme, you thought you were smarter than that.

It's obvious you only fell for it because it's Chan, you were attracted to him since the first time you laid eyes on him. You try to believe that it wouldn't be that easy to trick you if it was anyone else.

After at least two hours, you finally reach your house and you're feeling utterly miserable. You greet your parents and walk upstairs, anxiously searching for your room so you can finally let yourself fall and cry as much as you can.

Your sister is seated on your bed, biting on her nails. She stands up as soon as she sees you.

“I'm really sorry”, she says, teary.

You sigh, feeling the weight on your chest even heavier.

“It's not your fault”, you tell her. You start to undress, looking for your pajamas so you can snuggle on your bed until all of this passes.

“I shouldn't have started dating before you”, she whines.

“I don't blame you, so stop doing that to yourself”, you say, even though you feel a bit of resentment because Jeongin likes her truly, he likes her because she's her. Of course no one's going to like you, you're… you.

“But”, she bites on her lower lip, not sure if she should say this, “I think Chan really likes you-”, she stops talking when you give her the meanest glare you ever threw in someone's way.

“I don't want to hear it”, you say.

“He even asked help so he could confess to you in a way you would like”, she continues.

“I'm not going to repeat myself”, you say and your sister knows that tone too well, it's better for her to stay silent for the time being. “If you're done, I would like to be alone”

Yuna nods, glancing at you all the way to the door.

You collapse on your bed, finally able to cry your eyes out without people looking at you in a weird way. This is the moment you realize how much you love Bang Chan, the pain you're feeling is greater than anything you ever felt in your whole life, you truly don't think you'll be able to survive this.

Chan is an idiot, he knows this and you are right to never look at his face again. But even though he knows you're right, he can't accept the thought of you leaving him.

He tried calling and texting you, you blocked him. He tried talking to your sister, she cursed him out and told him to leave you alone. She and Jeongin are on bad terms right now but they didn't break up yet.

He tried to find you in the university, but you didn't show up for the entire week, he just doesn't know what to do.

“You are an idiot”, Hyunjin says after listening to the whole story, “you should have told her about it while you still had time”

“I didn't know I was in love”, Chan runs his hands through his hair, “not until it was too late”

His friend sighs, he just can't see Chan like that anymore. He's just miserable, he looks like he's dying and Hyunjin doesn't doubt it could actually happen at this point.

So as a good friend, he takes this matter into his own hands and calls your sister, trying to convince her to listen to Chan and maybe forgive Jeongin too, Hyunjin is tired of him whining all day long.

“Did you really call me here for this?”, Yuna asks, ready to grab her things and go home.

“Hear me out, okay?” He says. “I know what they did was wrong but they regret it, Jeongin even told you about it”

She huffs, crossing her arms.

“He told me because I was talking about how Chan wanted to ask y/n to be his girlfriend”, she says. “He felt guilty, he would have never told me about it otherwise”

“Chan really likes y/n, he really wants to be with her”

Yuna sighs, she knows that. There was no way Chan could fake the way he looked at you.

“She's not going to believe that”, Yuna says, “y/n is heartbroken, she's not even going to her classes. She just stays in her room all day, crying’

“There's nothing better to fix her broken heart then”, Hyunjin points out, “let's help them meet, they can talk things out that way”

“She doesn't want to see him”, Yuna sighs, “but I do think this is the best solution”

“Okay, I'll text you the day and time, just bring y/n, Chan will take care of the rest”

Yuna nods, collecting her things but before she can stand up, Hyunjin's voice sounds again.

“About Jeongin-”, he starts, but she cuts him off right away.

“This whole mess started because of Jeongin”, she takes a deep breath, “after y/n and Chan resolve this matter I'll see what I'm going to do about him”

Yuna turns around, leaving Hyunjin there. At least he got Chan a chance, he can't save everyone.

Chan can't take it anymore, he has to see you. So he musters all the courage he has and goes to your house. It doesn't help that it's 2 a.m. so everyone is sleeping, except you it seems, since there's light coming from your room.

He begins throwing rocks at your window, trying to make you notice him and after a few tries he sees your face popping out.

Chan wishes he didn't come at all, your face is puffy so he knows you have been crying and the way you're looking at him, it's just awful, he feels despicable. More than he has felt all this time without you.

“What do you want?” You ask, at least you didn't ignore him.

“Can you come down for a bit?”

You sigh, you don't actually want to, but you're afraid he'll make too much noise trying to convince you to go down and wake up the neighbors or even worse, your parents.

You close the window, he knew it would be hard, that you wouldn't want to see him. Before he can turn around and walk away, Chan hears the sound of the front door opening.

You are in your pajamas, holding yourself trying to protect your body from the cold air.

You stop in your tracks, looking at him with an intense gaze, like you can read all his thoughts and know about all his mistakes.

“How have you been?” He asks and you scoff.

“Are you here to survey my mood? I have been feeling like shit, what about you?” He remembers the first time he talked to you, how he wished to see you mad, now he regrets that. He never wanted to see you mad at him.

“I'm not well either”, he says.

You sigh.

“Now that we know how each other is feeling, you can go”, you tell him.

“Can you let me explain?” He pleads.

“Did you start dating me as a favor for Jeongin?” You ask and he sighs, nodding. “That's all I need to know, I would appreciate it if you don't come looking for me anymore”, you say, turning around and going back inside. Tears start running down your face while you go back to your room, when will this pain subside?

—

You are finally back at school, after moping around all day at home for an entire week, you decided it was time to get back to your life. Staying at home just made you feel worse, you didn't have a thing to distract yourself so you ended up thinking about Chan the whole time. That only weakened your resolve to forget about him, you avoided coming to school because you knew you would give in if he tried to approach you.

Your day goes by fast enough and you just want to go home to lay on your bed. You feel your phone buzzing, it's a message from Jeongin. You were so angry with Chan that you forgot to block him.

He should be begging to meet Yuna, so why is he asking to meet you? Maybe he wants your help to fix things between them.

You don't know why you decided to meet him, maybe it's curiosity to know why he did such a thing to you or maybe you want to look at his face and curse at him.

He arrives at the cafe at the set time, looking around for you and walking towards you when his eyes lock with yours.

“Hey”, he says, sitting in front of you. You don't say anything back, not in the mood to be polite.

Jeongin sighs, he expected this much.

“I wanted to talk with you about this whole situation, believe me I didn't mean to hurt you even though it ended up happening in the end-”

“I considered you my friend”, you say making him stop talking.

“I- I'm”, he says, voice a pitch higher.

“Friends don't do what you did”, you say and he nods.

“I know it was an ill executed plan, but my intentions weren't bad, I swear”, he tells you.

“And do your intentions matter if I was the one hurt in the end?” You ask, angrier now.

“No”, he answers. “I'm truly sorry, I swear, I just caught you staring at Chan more than once. I thought this would be good for us both but I was clearly wrong”

You huff, exhausted. You start collecting your things to go home but you hear Jeongin's voice once more.

“Chan really likes you, he fell in love with you”, he says and your heart skips a beat, it shouldn't be behaving like this, not after the heartbreak you are going through.

“I don't care, he lost his chance”, you answer firmly, even though you know it's not true.

“Are you sure?” Jeongin asks, “are you sure you won't regret it? Not let him explain or not hearing him out?”

You glance at him once more, before standing up and walking out of the cafe.

Your mid terms are finally over, that means, you don't have anything to study so you're stuck with your thoughts. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, it's a message from Yuna, asking you to meet her in the arts department.

You reply, saying you'll be there in a moment. What is she even doing there? She's a business major.

The arts department is not far from yours, but it's emptier than you are used to. She asked you to meet in the first classroom of the second floor.

When you open the door, the first thing you see is Bang Chan. He looks awful, worse than you even.

You try going back, but he already saw you, so he stands up, coming closer.

“Don't leave, I'll do anything just… don't leave”

He's pale, and the eyebags he normally has are darker than usual.

“Are you sick?” You ask, worried. It's not like you can stop loving him in such a short period of time, of course you're worried.

“No”, he says, “I mean, I'm not feeling well, but I don't think I have an illness”

You nod, feeling awkward. It's been a while since you felt this way about him.

“Okay, then I'll get going”, you say trying to leave, but his voice stops you.

“I love you”, he is desperate, you can hear it in his voice. However, you're too petty.

“This was part of Jeongin’s plan too?”, you scoff, seeing his lips trembling.

He takes a deep breath, he deserves that, he knows he does.

“I really started going out with you because Jeongin asked”, he starts explaining, “but I fell in love with you, for real”

You feel your heart ache once more, he's about to cry, you can see it. But you're not sure if you can forgive him, even if what he's telling you is true.

“I don't believe you”, you say, shrugging, trying to hold your own tears.

“I will do anything to prove it to you, just say what I need to do for you to believe me”, he says, taking a step closer to you.

“I'm not sure if I'll be able to forget this or even forgive you, Chan”, you sigh, letting your heart speak and not your anger.

“I know I messed up, I don't deserve you I know that too”, he grabs your hand, “but please, I'll prove to you that I deserve a second chance, I'll earn back your trust”, he pleads.

You sigh, even after all this, it seems you still can't say no to him.

“I'm going to need some time”, you say slowly, “but I will give you a second chance, you better not ruin it”, you say.

Chan can't believe you're really going to try and forgive him, he can't ask for anything more.

“I won't disappoint you this time, I promise”, he says, kissing the palm of your hand, the same way he did before.

“Let's see about that”, you sigh, feeling your heart beating fast once again.

You may be making a stupid choice, but you'll only learn by making mistakes. You just sure hope this is not one.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

[goatgoesmbe]

So about that post of Simons gf that's super kind. what if she's petty with her kindness. one time me and my mom got in fight and that same day she complained about how many house plants she had. so i bought her a miniature rose bush (roses being a hard plant to take care of) as make up gift. I've also made other people their coffee wrong, bought unbalanced pens, gave there cats cat nip, given their children obnoxiously loud toys, etc.

Tw : reader is morally questionable, mention of assault

OOOH ANON, I LOVE THISS-

Like- just because reader is sweet, that doesn't mean being a pushover. You have class, and your own way of handling assholes properly.

I imagine Simon would think he needed to be the one who protects you, seeing you're all sunshine and rainbow, always so nice and kind- and he just didn't want anyone to take advantage of you, you know?

But then he realized that you're actually not a damsel in distress.

The first time he saw it, was at a neighbor's baby shower..

"You've been with him for what? 3 years now- and still no ring?" 

Simon glanced at you,simply smiling  in response. He recognized that voice, Stella was her name. Or something along those lines. She was one of those people who always wanted attention, bragging about every little thing while also dragging people down just so she could feel better about herself.

Simon had to hold back from rolling his eyes when she previously arrived. Wearing matching designer clothes with her five-year-old son, Aiden. Which was a waste of money in his opinion, the little fella will grow out of them in a short time after all.

"I mean.. come on, you're not getting any younger.. better make it official soon before you expire - he might no longer  be attracted to you by  then" Before you could respond to the previous jab, Stella continued talking. You could see why she would ask something like that, it was just how she was like after all. 

You and Simon have reasons, but it was really none of her business. And you couldn't exactly explain to her that your boyfriend is legally dead so you couldn't marry him properly.

Simon wasn't even listening to the other lads around him anymore- not that he did in the first place. Looking at you directly from his spot, he observed the others who interacted with you. You were surrounded by the other moms from the neighborhood, yet none of them said anything against Stella.

He saw you giggle, brushing off Stella's words way too casually like it didn't affect you, or maybe you didn't get that she was mocking you- Simon wasn't sure.

"It's time to go, luv" His gruff voice stopped their conversation as he approached you. He could feel their eyes on him, some of them not hiding the fact that they found him attractive from how they looked up at him with a slight flush on their cheeks. He wondered how you were comfortable being around them at all, he could never exchange more than a few words with them without feeling  like he needed to commit  murder.

Well.. whatever, you won't be meeting them again anytine soon, since the both of you  were planning to move away.

You looked up at him with those big innocent eyes and pouted "But-". 

"It's late" he added, putting his hand on your hip and pulling you close to make a statement at the others who still shamelessly gawked at him.

Seeing that look in his eyes- the one that means he accepted no rejection, you sighed. "Alright, let me say my goodbye" You said before turning back to them.

Simon simply grunted and waited. And when he thought you were ready to go, he raised an eyebrow when you instead walked over to the kids who were busy playing. You told them about you moving out of  the neighborhood and the kids didn't seem to like that, you were their favorite after all.

"I have something for you guys to remember me by.." You chirped. Immediately, the kids looked at you with eagerness as you rummaged through your tote bag.

The side of his lips lifted under his mask when he saw you pulling out mini harmonicas. Before you could say anything more, a brat snatched one out of your hands. That was Aiden, Stella's spoiled boy. Which means it would be hard for the mom to get the noisy thing from him.

A cute little giggle escaped your lips as you watched the boy immediately blow on the harmonica messily, spraying spit everywhere.

After you made sure every kid got one, you stood up and held his hand before skipping away with him in tow. Cacophony of moms' frustrated yelling, children's laughs, and loud harmonicas left behind.

So you had planned your revenge all along, huh? Seems like you're not a total angel like he’d thought you were.

...

The second time was  when he visited you at work. While he provided  enough for you to stay home and do nothing, you still insisted on running  your own cafe. Saying that it had been your dream since you were little. And how can he say no when you look at him with those puppy eyes?

And while you do have people working for you, you still help around from time to time. "It's the best part about having a cafe," you said to him that one time.

He was sitting at a table close enough to observe you working in that cute little uniform you had designed yourself for the cafe, when a guy walked in. His appearance screamed 'douche', the kind of guy who would talk about how many body counts is too many for a woman in a podcast.

Despite that, you greeted him cheerfully like you do with every other costumer. Even when he told you to write 'daddy' on the cup after you asked for a name, a disgusting smirk on his lips.

Meaning you would need to yell out that word to call for him when the order was ready.

And while Simon was fuming inside, you were calm. Humming along with the music playing from the speaker as you prepared the coffee. 

But, instead of calling for the guy yourself, you turn to one of your employees. His name was Shane, written on the name tag clipped to his uniform. He was a big guy, not any taller than your boyfriend but still. A simple man who will be pleased spending the night scarfing down pizzas and beers. Now, Shane was known for many things, one of them being very gay, and being  totally not shy about it.

You smiled before turning away to take the next order, all while  secretly paying attention to what was going to happen next.

"Daddy..!" Shane shamelessly sing-sung the word loudly and even when Simon expected it already, he still choked on his tea. He also saw you biting down your lip to prevent yourself from laughing.

Shane went on for a while until the whole cafe fell silent except for the music playing that didn't fit the situation at all, which made it evenmore hilarious. 

'Daddy' finally walked over to get his order. Red in the face and looking very pissed. He was not stupid enough to cause a scene, however, and simply accepted his cup without so much as a thank you. And of course, Shane added the cherry on top by throwing a flirty wink.

And when you noticed the way he glanced at you after taking a sip of his coffee, tasting regular milk instead of almond- knowing full well he told you earlier about his lactose intolerance. You simply gave him that sweet smile of yours, a cheerful "Thank you, please come back again..!" Thrown his way like how it always is whenever a customer is leaving.

Simon chuckled under his breath and shook his head. Feeling proud (and scared, that was borderline crime) of his pretty bird being cruel in her own ways.

So when he saw you sighing after an argument on the phone with your mom, he didn't question it when you went ahead and bought a make up gift for her.

[yanderefarm]

i have had this in my brain for ages and i needed to get it out

cw;; DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, noncon, drugging, omegaverse, bitching, dysphoria, cervix penetration, breeding kink, knotting

alpha dr ratio out on a mission getting kidnapped by some smugglers and eventually he ends up sold to your ship where you're in charge. he's brought to you and you decide he's cute and his big chest is too sexy to be wasted on an alpha.

you drug him every day slowly changing his body into an omega but the process can only really be completed by being bred like an omega bitch. veritas is constantly kept in heat his body aching and craving your cock but he's stubborn. he's so certain he'll be saved any day now. you know full well the IPC is never coming but you'll let the horror of that dawn on him.

its months of painful heats in a body that feels wrong and disgusting. months of what feels like torture as he's fed just enough to survive. months of you coming to see him and ask him every time if he wants to submit yet. all he needs to do is agree to become your omega wife and you'll take care of the rest. he still resists but you can see in his eyes that everything is breaking him.

one day he wakes up no longer in his cell. he's in a warm bed of silks, soft fabrics and a sweet smell make him feel like he might be free. maybe he's been saved. and then the heat starts to get more painful than ever. his formerly alpha body is craving an actual alpha, he needs it so badly. he's shaking as his fingers start to reach for his slit. and then you come in the door, your scent strong. the horror that he's not free can't even get to him he's more glad to see an alpha.

its like he can't control his body anymore. he picks himself up and presents to you. his voice doesn't sound like himself as he asks needily "alpha please."

you're so pleased with the sight. your thumb spreads his slit as you grab his ass. "omega, will you become my wife?" you ask for the 100th time.

veritas can't think about it anymore, you're so close to his cunt and his body is screaming to be bred. his stomach hurts with how empty and needy he is. "yes, yes, yes, alpha please. please make it stop. please-"

you have your answer. now you're going to enjoy using the bitch's new cunt and flooding his virgin womb. and veritas enjoys it too. he's so happy when your tip pushes into his virgin hole. he's even happier when you start slamming into him, oh yes it hurts but the pain is relief from the constant pressure of the heat. his cunt squirts when your cock knocks against his cervix.

you're not gentle with him at all. you've been waiting to break him in for so long and he's so tight and warm. when your thick cock hits his cervix you realize that you can fuck his womb directly. oh yeah he screams and cries and tells you it hurts but that just turns you on even more as your cock bullies his tight cervix. you slam into him, your tip pressing into his cervix until finally it gives. another few inches and your knot is pressing against his cunt. at this point your cute little bitched omega is absolutely sobbing in pain and pleasure, his sloppy cunt leaking down his thighs.

"you're mine." you whisper in his ear.

you pull your hips back slightly, your teeth lining up with his little bitch scent gland. you slam your hips down as you sink your teeth into him. your knot and fangs marking the pretty bitch as yours so thoroughly his body is forced to accept that it's an omega now. he's fully an omega and his bulging stomach is being pumped full of cum as your thick ropes saved up over months flood his womb. it'd be a surprise if he didn't get pregnant.

after you're done you'll go to sleep painfully buried in your cute bitch wife while veritas is left to sob and grapple with his body forcefully changed against his will and stretched past reason to accommodate you. he'll learn to be happy though.

[hiraya-rawr]

— oh and by the way im married (zhongli) .

synopsis !! zhongli neglects to inform his friends that he's married.

contains !! they/them reader but referred to as wife, comedic dialogue

Z H O N G L I

Perhaps it's the fact that you've been married for centuries that informing others didn't seem to be a priority for Zhongli.

It wasn't obvious either. He had his day job and you had yours. To regular couples, the amount of distance you two spend would be a little strange, but time is something you have in abundance so it didn't really matter when you spend a few days apart doing your day jobs.

It was Hutao who brought it up the on the evening's Lantern Rite dinner.

"Aiyaya, it seems like everybody alive and dead has a date for this year's lantern rite."

"Hahaha! And here we are celebrating a feast with new and old friends. It doesn't sound like much of a loss to me." Venti laugjs, pouring himself a drink that threatens to overflow from his hand.

"I'm not saying it's a loss, I'm simply wondering wouldn't some of you want to spend the night with a special someone?" She smirks, eyes scanning the group. Chongyun coughs into his cup as Xiao averts his gaze from the troublemaker.

"If you're asking for my opinion, I'd say everyone here is quite special to me," Lumine smiles warmly before glancing at the two archons and yaksha, "I'm sure there's still time for dating in the future. We're not that old."

"Well. . ." Hutao turns to Zhongli. He raises a brow, placing down his cup.

"May I ask why you're staring at me, Director Hu?"

"No reason~ It's just, as your boss, of course I'm a little bit concerned. Aren't you wasting your youth by not going out on dates, mister Zhongli? I'm sure there's a line of Liyuens who would love to–"

A burst of laughter comes from the green bard. "Oh, him? On a Lantern Rite date with someone else? (Name) would surely kill him."

"(Name)?" Everyone questions.

"Huh? He didn't tell you?" Venti tilts his head.

Zhongli coughs, "Ah. . . Please don't be concerned about my dating life, Director Hu. After all, I am already married."

Silence.

A cup drops.

Tea spills (literally).

Then,

"Married?!" The restaurant shakes as Hutao and Lumine jolt upright, hands slamming the table.

"Married." Zhongli confirms.

"What! For how long? When? What's their name? Why have you never–"

Zhongli hushes, trying to calm his boss from jumping over the table. His face dusts a light pink, perhaps embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

"For a few. . . years now. As you know, they're (Name). And as for why I never mentioned my wife. . ." He glances at the crowd, ". . . I simply forgot."

"You. . . forgot," Xingqiu slowly repeats.

"Yes, it seems I've forgotten to inform everyone. Then again, is it not obvious that I'm a married man?"

Chongyun covers his face in his hands, processing the whole ordeal, "Thinking back. . . mister Zhongli always had a domestic kind of aura. It seems so obvious now."

"Wait, wait, wait! How come I didn't know about this? We work together almost everyday! And why does Venti know! Didn't you two just met! Do you even have a ring?" Hutao interjects, flabbergasted as Zhongli and Venti freezes.

In truth, he does have a ring. One he carved himself made of only the most precious of jade and metal. It has rested under his glove for centuries—

Under his glove also hides his draconic arms, golden veins against dark brown, almost scale-like skin. Proof of a entity greater than human.

"Ehe. . . about that," Venti nervously looks away, "I've actually. . . met his wife before!" He covers up, voice laced with enthusiasm.

"Yes, yes, my wife is quite fond of Mondstadt's songs. They've frequently visited the nation before."

"And you don't come along?" Xiangling asks.

"I don't."

The group blinks.

"And what about the ring? I never see you wear a wedding ring." Hutao narrows her eyes.

"That's because I don't wear it." He answers bluntly.

". . . and you never introduced them to us because. . .?" Lumine questions.

"Because . . . I haven't had the time to?"

Hutao rests back on her chair, her eyes glazed in judgment, "No offense mister Zhongli, but you seem like a terrible husband. If you don't get your act straight, I'd say your marriage won't last."

His jaw drops. Venti laughs.

|| ko-fi support / character m.list ||

~ bonus ~

"Darling, am I a terrible husband?"

"No? What makes you think that?"

"No reason. Although I believe we should try dating publicly."

tumblr has been deleting my last paragraphs why

//for some reason tumblr has been deleting my last lines in drafts so i have to type this so my last sentences wont get deleted

"No reason. But perhaps it's about time I show you off to the public more."

ko-fi support | character m.list

[ddejavvu]

okay so by now i think all the spencer enjoyers™️ have seen that picture of him in his white unbuttoned shirt covered in red lipstick kisses, but imagine leaving said kisses perchance? earlier season spencer would be like a puddle on the floor and it'd be too cute.

Spencer's job as Designated Driver is backfiring fast. It means that his head is completely clear as your mottled one decides it's time to waste your lipstick, lathing it onto your puckered lips and painting his face with it.

"Another one!" You declare, a giggle hanging off the edge of your voice as you reapply another smeary coat of the product. You reapply every time you kiss his cheeks, which means there's far more of the stuff on your lips than you need there to be.

"Okay that's- that's enough," Spencer reaches for the tube of lipstick, taking it from your hands and clutching it in his tight fist, "You don't need to apply any more. There's enough on your lips already, I- uh, I don't think that's how makeup works."

"But I want the kisses to be fresh," You insist, eyes wide and doe-like, sparkling with earnest, "Spence, I- if the kisses aren't fresh," You explain, voice thick and wobbly, "Then people won't see them, and people won't know you're my best friend! I have to," Your voice tapers down into a sullen whisper, "I have to mark my territory."

Spencer didn't know he was your best friend. He knew he was one of your friends, of course, but he'd have assumed your best was maybe Prentiss or Morgan. Certainly not him, not the man who time and time again fumbles his way through conversations with you because no matter how much time he spends prepping what he'll say, you always make him nervous. He can't say he's exactly calm now, with your bright kiss marks pressed to every inch of skin on his face, but he takes solace in the fact that you're not going to remember this come morning, so he can stutter all he wants and it won't affect his image.

"I think she's right, Reid," Hotch grins, though Spencer can tell the man's holding back the brunt of the expression's force. Spencer curses the man's composure; he handles liquor a lot better than you do. "I mean, God forbid people think you don't know her. It's not like she's sitting in your lap, or anything."

"Mhm!" You nod emphatically from your place in Spencer's lap, his sticky face held in your hands, "Exactly. So I need to kiss you more."

Spencer's not sure what he can say besides yes. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, make you think he doesn't want to be your best friend. Because he does, perhaps a little more than you realize. But he's not sure he can take the feeling of your lips on his face any more, for fear of turning into a melted puddle of raw awkwardness on the sticky bar floor.

He swallows the saliva that's pooled around his teeth, inhaling the scent of your strawberry shampoo, "Uh- okay. One more."

"Two more." You decide, already leaning up to press not one, not two, but three kisses to his face. One on each of his cheeks, then one that you smash against the curve of his chin. You press until it hurts, intent on really stamping the mark there.

"Perfect!" You declare, and Spencer's sure his breath is shaky when he exhales, a side effect from having your lips so tantalizingly close to his own. "Now- now I'm done." You promise, "And I'm tired, Spence." You suddenly pant, "Can I lay down on you?"

You're already in his lap. Spencer's not sure if he has any reason to say no. Well, besides his uncontrollable, embarrassingly strong, undying adoration for you. But he can't tell you that, not here, not now, so he steels himself as he nods, "Sure. Go- go ahead."

You slump down onto his shoulder so fast it almost hurts, and you're lifelessly snoozing in an instant. Spencer's sure you're not actually asleep yet, but you're so easily dead weight against him that he has to lean up against the back of his chair for support.

"No pictures." He hisses to Hotch who's already taken three, "Stop it."

"Penelope's not here," Hotch goads, sending the picture off before Spencer can demand he delete it, "Someone's gotta be the gossip."