#but has a sense of justice and helps people when in circumstances that that allow him to process that they need help

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) Annual #8

[silverthehedgehogexplained]

Explaining Silver the Hedgehog's character (Updated)

To truly understand Silver's character you need to understand not one, not two, not three, not even four but the ten different cores of his character. Starting with...

A Strong Sense of Justice - The Hedgehog of Justice

Silver is driven by a strong Sense of Justice. This is his defining trait mentioned in almost all character bios. Silver is a righteous person driven to right wrongs in the world and will always stand up for others. This can make him quite Confrontational as he has zero tolerance for injustice or wrongful suffering and will take on anyone on the spot to fight for what he thinks is right. Silver will always settle the score. Silver however doesn't wish to punish evil but rather to simply maintain peace.

Silver's sense of justice is more important to him than nearly any other character as it is the source of his drive and mission to make things right in the world. Unlike other guardian characters, Silver's sense of duty to protect the future is driven entirely by his personal sense of justice rather than imposed responsibility like Blaze, Knuckles and Ariem..

A Determind Optimist

Silver's other most defining trait is his noted Optimism. Silver has a positive outlook no matter the circumstances. During peaceful times Silver spreads positivity and seeks to make people smile however he can and during dark times Silver rallies and inspires hope in others. If Sonic represents Freedom then Silver represents Hope and will never give up no matter how dire or impossible the situation may seem.

Silver's very presence radiates positivity. In Sonic Channel stories Silver is said to engage in Cheerful Activities after the historical change in 06 and have both a "positive way of life that inspires people and makes them want to watch over him and cheer him on forever…" and an "Honest, unpretentious and kind demeanor" that makes him a warm and inspiring influence. This even extends to real life as this illustration by Tomoko Hayane spontaneously inspired everyone in her office to high five Silver on the screen the day it was made. In Sonic Channel stories Silver also has a very warm smile that fills Princess Elise with trust and joy during the height of her anxiety in one story and a recipient can't say no to in another story. (He's low-key a pretty boy)

Linked to Silver's optimism is supreme Determination. Silver will not give up no matter how impossible the odds are or how badly he's hurt, even when Solaris destroyed the entire space-time continuum and was explained to be nigh-invincible Silver simply resolved to destroy him in the past, present and future all at once and roused everyone back into action when they had all completely lost hope. Silver again rouses hope into the Resistance in Sonic Forces when Sonic and Tails were thought to be lost. Silver doesn't give up easily in general as it took 40 tries for him to cut exact Silver cut apple slices. It is this spirit that allows Silver to fight through the hopeless apocalyptic future. Silver's hope, optimism and determination are best exemplified in the Japanese version of Sonic Forces where he says this:

There is hope! As long you don't give up!

A Kind Hearted Hedgehog

Silver is an Altruist. An altruist is a person who is unselfish and concerned for the well-being of others, even if they don't gain anything by doing so. Silver not only has a strong desire to help others but he also has great Empathy for both people and environments and wants to see them in a happy state. Silver loves Smiles, he can't help but smile when he sees other people smile and his greatest joy is making other people happy. Silver wants to make people happy because he grew up in an apocalyptic future that was filled with despair as stated in Sonic & Silver on Sonic Channel. Silver's altruism is not only the motivation behind his mission to protect the future but also the only thing that can make him break from it as he will drop his current mission to help people as he does with Amy in Sonic 06 and the understaffed post office of Soleanna in Sonic Pict as Silver cannot say no to a sad face. Silver's reason for aspiring to become a hero is to be someone that can protect smiles as he states in Sonic & Silver.

Focused On Saving The Future - A Focused Agent

The very first thing Silver is described with in 06 design documents is Focused on Saving The Future. Silver is a driven and focused agent that becomes very determined and serious when it comes to saving the future and dealing with potential threats. Like Sonic's other rivals Silver is very skilled in many regards from skillfully doing various odds jobs in Soleanna in Town Missions to getting one of the highest sharpshooting scores in Soleanna's 1500 year history(Town Mission 6) to becoming a "genius" skating coach celebrity in the Otherworld Comedy series to the general use of his powers(Silver takes offence to being treated like an amateur for a reason). Silver is a veteran fighter from his apocalyptic life of battling Iblis and is able to and quickly learn things he's never done before like Chaos Control and car racing after only seeing them once. Silver trains regularly and is said to make steady efforts to improve in the 2022 wallpaper comedy series. Silver is a Fly/Technique type character so he specialize in technical sports like ice skating, uses a high balance car in Team Sonic Racing and is possibly the fastest flyer in the series as he's able to keep up with Sonic in Generations and is able to fly at light speeds with his Teleport Dash ability. Silver is very Proactive in his pursuits as in the opening of his story in Sonic 06 he states that he always asked people in his apocalyptic future how the world was destroyed but could never get a direct answer, hence why he listens to Mephiles.

Silver is noted to be intuitive and perceptive. He sees through Eggman Nega's disguises by noticing small details in his mannerisms. In Sonic Rivals 2 he turns his fight with Sonic into a race to collect Chao and advance his mission instead. In Otherworld Comedy Act 8 he intuits Blaze trying to control her powers when seeing them for the first time. Silver solves problems through thinking in all of his major game appearances from figuring out how to revive Sonic in the last episode of 06 to uncovering Eggman's plot in Team Sonic Racing.

Despite his naivete, Silver Isn't Very Trusting. His respect and trust has to be earned as he doesn't work with anyone in the Sonic Rivals series until they prove useful to him. In Sonic Generations Silver doesn't trust Sonic as being real and he is almost immediately suspicious of Dodon Pa. While he can take things literally at times the same deception that works on Knuckles won't work on Silver as Eggman learned in Team Sonic Racing. Even when working with Mephiles, Silver did not initially believe in time travel and did not fully commit to his plan until he was physically thrown back in time and still began questioning it after being confronted by Amy, only continuing to go along with the mission after it was reaffirmed by both Blaze and Mephiles as the only option to save the future.

Silver is very Goal Focused and has a Straight To The Point Mentality as part of his forthrightness. He doesn't like distractions, petty details or things getting in his way and prefers to concentrate on his current goals. Silver can also be somewhat Ruthless as he has done many things to protect the future including sneaking past Soleanna guards(Town Mission 11), mugging Tails and attempted assassinations all with little reservation. Despite having something of an honor code against cowardice Silver is also willing to fight pretty dirty such as when he played possum to hit Sonic in 06.

Forthright Purity

One of Silver's original design document descriptors is that he is very Forthright. This actually entails multiple different things about Silver that all deal with his Purity. As his name suggests, Silver is themed with purity as a character with his silvery white colors, youthfulness, innocence and forthright nature. Silver is forthright in every sense of the word including being Straightforward and Honest. Honest to a fault as Silver is so honest that he can't even lie(though he can change the subject as he does in Sonic 06 and Sonic Rivals 2). Direct and Outspoken as Silver hides almost nothing about himself(he only tries to hide his problems as when he tries to dismiss his worries in TSR as nothing) and speaks his mind as well as Going Straight to the Point as discussed above. This is why in Playstation Magazine Japan, Silver was officially given the birthday May 9th and with it the star sign of Taurus which is associated with determination, directness and honesty. Silver wears his heart on his sleeve and has a certain innocence to him that permeates his character.

With this purity however comes Silver's Naivety. He has a somewhat simplistic Black and White Perspective. Silver can sometimes take things literally and expects people to believe any outlandish things he tells them simply because he knows them to be true. Silver can also be unfamiliar with things in the present due to living in the far future where everything is either long destroyed or far more advanced.

The flip side of that forthright purity however is...

The Brash Antithesis of Eggman Nega

On the flip side of being straightforward and honest, Silver is also Blunt and Rude. Just as Silver wears his heart on sleeve he also has no filter and will say whatever is on his mind which can make him Abrasive and quick to insult. Silver will call you an idiot to your face if he thinks you are one and often trash talks opponents in in-game dialogue(literally calling defeated enemies trash in 06). Silver's rudeness is even more apparent in Japanese where he uses many informal impressions including addressing himself with "Ore"(おれ) and others "Anta"(あんた, the ruder version "Anata") which signifies that he speaks bluntly. Silver often points directly at people he speaks to(This is considered much more rude in Japan) and crosses his legs while sitting in a way that is roughly the Japanese equivalent of putting your feet on a table. Silver acts very casually with others without introducing himself which can be very informal and rude as Knuckles calls out during their meeting in Sonic Rivals 1. This can make Silver even more rude than other brash characters in a technical sense as he's just blunt and acts without a filter. This is a key difference between Silver and Future Trunks who was largely a shy and polite mannered individual.

Similar to Jet the Hawk, Silver is Juvenile both in his age designation and general level of maturity. Due to this Silver can be quite Brash similar to Sonic but even more so due to his aggression and bluntness/lack of filter. He can be snotty, sneering, sarcastic and is even stated to have a mischievous side in the Commemorative Illustration series. Though he is generally humble Silver has a confident, somewhat smug attitude about his powers and is very Competitive. Almost fighting Blaze as they begin one upping each other over who could deal with Orbot & Cubot on their own when they first meet in the Triumph cutscene Sonic Colors DS. Silver is also Headstrong, almost fighting Blaze again when she treats him like an amateur in the Otherworld Comedy series. Despite his share of hedgehog prickliness however Silver isn't a hostile or mean spirited person(as long as you're not in his way or being unjust that is). Just as Eggman Nega being polite does not make him a good person being rude does not make Silver a bad one as he maintains his goal of helping others at all times. When not focused on a mission Silver is shown to be a fun loving, reliable and protective friend. Silver cherishes his friends and is willing to do anything for them. Silver can also be just as quick to praise or call something cool as he is to insult someone and he strongly believes in the abilities of the people that have earned his respect as when he recruits Sonic to help him with the Revival Bridge situation in Sonic & Silver and is genuinely grateful for Espio's help in saving the world in Sonic Rivals 2. This side of Silver can be very similar to Sonic from Sonic SatAM. Combined with his naivety and determination this side can also make him similar to a Looney Tunes character called Henery Hawk. (He's naive but he has a blunt "What's so funny?" attitude about it)

Due to this nature, Silver has bold explosive responses to even the most impossible challenges, stating "I'll show you how crazy I am" when Knuckles calls him crazy in Sonic Rivals 2, "Come on, Espio! We can take them all on!" when confronted with Knuckles, Rouge and Eggman all at once in Sonic Rivals 2, and "If you say it exists in the past, present and future, I'll destroy them all at once!" when facing the impossible challenge of Solaris(He drops pretty hard lines when things get tough). Silver has this attitude against even things that outmatch him such as Infinite's mighty power.

Silver is described as "young and immature" by his creator Shun Nakamura so despite his general seriousness he can still have somewhat childish moments.

Almost all of Silver's traits are also diametrically opposed to those of his Sonic Rivals series nemesis Eggman Nega(currently the only other character from Silver's future), down to the colors they're themed after Black and White.

Silver is Rude and Blunt out of sheer earnestness while Eggman Nega is overly Polite as a form of mind games. Silver is Warm and Pure while Eggman Nega is Cold and Twisted. Silver is Honest to a fault while Eggman Nega is extremely Deceitful. Silver is Kind while Eggman Nega is Cruel. Silver is Naive while Eggman Nega is Sophisticated. Silver is Reckless while Eggman Nega is Calculating. Silver is Practical while Eggman Nega is Petty. Silver desires Peace and Prosperity while Eggman Nega desires Chaos and Destruction. Both are willing to sacrifice themselves for those ends in ways that seem crazy to other characters.

Riled Up - A Passionate Emotional Beast

One of the descriptions for Silver in design documents, Riled Up, alludes to Silver's highly emotional nature. Silver is a High Spirited person that is also emotionally immature.

Like Blaze, Silver can be Easily Angered and have a pretty Wrathful Temper. However unlike Blaze who is repressed in her feelings, Silver has no filter and can get loud or carried away when he is overly angered, excited or saddened(He's autistic...) which can primarily be seen in his animations and dialogue in the Olympic Games series. Silver puts his all into any activity he gets invested into(I'm giving this all I've got!) because of how Passionate he is.

It is the strength of his feelings that can make Silver Impulsive or Rash as often noted in his character bios.

Sometimes Silver tends to deal with things too head-on because of the strength of his feelings, or he tends to take everything on himself, but this is an aspect of his purity and an endearing virtue. ~ Sonic & Silver Sonic Channel story

This separates Silver from Sonic and Shadow who are both calm and cool in most situations while Silver has very little emotional regulation and can be blinded by his feelings. This can make him rather Reckless at times as he can deal with things too head on and will throw himself at problems when he gets overtaken by his feelings.

While Shadow is calculating and detached, Silver is controlled by powerful emotion and is impulsive and obsessive. This causes them both to be incredibly straightforward, mission oriented, and viscous, but for entirely opposite reasons. Sonic on the other hand falls in between. He cares, but he's not nearly as impulsive and manic as Silver. He's also cool-headed and easygoing, but not out of the detached stoicism of Shadow. SSS are quite different emotionally.

This Hot-blooded emotional nature is why Silver often has very Stoic partners like Blaze, Espio or Shadow to calm him down and pull him back. This dynamic is alluded to in the Japanese version of Sonic 06 where Blaze states that she shouldn't let Silver run wild on his own(in the English version she states that he's insecure when alone though that is contradicted within both 06 itself and the Rivals series).

An Aggressive Warrior

Due to his apocalyptic background Silver is a fierce and aggressive Warrior with many violent aspects to him. The Sonic Channel Sonic & Silver character introduction story states that Silver fought and struggled for half his lifetime which implies that he fought the forces of Iblis since he was seven years old.

Silver was born into a literal Hell on Earth where people lived without hope and he had to constantly battle against the minions of Iblis and put out disasters caused by it's existence such as flame tornadoes, storms and tides of lava destroying everything in a world where everyone lived in Eternal Darkness and suffering. Silver fought for most of his life to bring peace to the world. Due to this life of constant violence and devastation Silver is devoted to and deeply appreciates Peace but also has a violent personality because of it. This is why Silver has intense determined expressions and aggressive body language as he constantly makes fists and aggressive stances even when he's happy. Silver also punches things when he's frustrated and gets up using his fists in Sonic Forces. This not only shows his determination and emotional nature but his baked in aggression from a life of fighting through the apocalypse. Shadow notes Silver as a fighter in Team Sonic Racing dialogue. As covered above Silver can be something of an attack dog and needs to be held back at times.

This is also reflected in the pointed design of his eyes which in Japanese character design represents sharpness and intensity in a character. These points are easy to miss due to how his eyes are modeled and the way they align with the quills that act as bangs over the upper corners of his eyes.

Silver is incredibly powerful, being able to defeat armies of enemies in Town Missions in Sonic 06 and shown to have a tally of the number of times he single-handedly defeated the gigantic Iblis in a Sonic Pict wallpaper. When they fight in 06 Silver is as physically strong as Shadow who himself can easily lift 18-Wheeler G.U.N. Trucks and other house sized objects with one arm.

Silver also Enjoys Fighting and fights for fun as seen in his friendly Rival Battles in Sonic Generations. Silver is willing to fight anybody if he feels slighted and I do mean anybody as he's been shown willing to fight everything from skyscraper sized monsters like Iblis and Ifrit to small children as he has no qualms with fighting Tails or Bowser Jr(something he shares with Shadow). Silver is said to “sometimes call forth great power without mercy” in Sonic & Silver on Sonic Channel.

Tying into his selfless and reckless nature, Silver is also Extremely Brave. As stated for the Pumpkin Trigger Sonic Comic, Silver has no regard for his own safety and will immediately throw himself at any danger or sacrifice himself at a moments notice especially if it means protecting those around him. Silver had to fight the colossal Iblis and its endless spawn in a dark hellscape by himself for most of his life(as it has been revealed Blaze wasn't born in the future in 06). Silver also has very high pain tolerance owing to his determination and violent life of fighting Iblis. Angrily continuing to attack after being kicked in the head by Shadow in 06, shredded and bounced across the street by Sonic in Generations and enduring agonizing pain beyond description caused by overusing his powers in Sonic & Silver. Silver also seems to value being brave and dislikes cowardice going by his remarks in the Sonic Rivals series and the Team Vector Nintendo Dream interview which has interesting implications for his backstory.

When surprised in Sonic Generations Silver instantly has a fight response as he grew up in a world where Iblis minions could attack at any moment. (He's feral)

A Sentimental Person

Silver also has a very quiet side. He can be Introspective and Sentimental. This is shown throughout Sonic 06 with the non-verbal processing of events around him. After his fallout with Amy, he sits quietly by himself unengaged with his mission to destroy the Iblis Trigger and contemplates the morality of hurting one person to save the world. He silently takes in the events of the Solaris Project as he finally learns the truth about the destruction of the world he always asked about. Silver feels grief and contemplation quietly as shown when he's left solemn and silent over his moral dilemma and Blaze's sacrifice. Silver appreciates little things and finds beauty in simple parts of the world that most people take for granted.

Silver also has a certain curiosity to him and sometimes takes interest in new things ("Interesting"), so he also enjoys new experiences, facing challenges and going sightseeing.

The Hedgehog of Peace

The absolute core and purpose of Silver's character is World Peace. Silver lives for and fights to protect world peace at all costs. This primarily includes his drive to protect Smiles and Blue Skies. Because of Silver's Empathy he wants to see the world and it's people prosper and could not stand the devastated of his destroyed future even before he experienced any true peace. Silver's quills are patterned after a Japanese Maple Leaf which represents peace.

In contrast to the apocalyptic devastation, darkness and suffering he grew up with, Silver feels at peace when seeing clear blue skies, beautiful environments or people living in prosperity. Due to hailing from a devastated future even something as simple as a desert is beautiful to him because it's intact and the people are happy. Because his feelings reflect the world around him, seeing these things in ruined states saddens and upsets him while seeing them thrive takes his breath away. When Silver sees people smile he can't help but smile. Silver's mission is to protect and maintain a happy future with a blue sky.

This is also reflected in Silver's heavily implied favorite food, apples as apples represent Good Fortune and Prosperity. It was even revealed in Sonic Pict and a how-it-was-made special that Silver ate apple flavored calorie bars in his destroyed future.

To recap. The ten core aspects of Silver are:

A Strong Sense of Justice

The Optimistic Determinator

A Kind Heart

Forthright Purity( with Naivete)

A Focused Agent

An Emotional Beast

The Brash Antithesis of Eggman Nega

The Aggressive Warrior

A Sentimental Person

The Hedgehog of Peace

This post complies information about Silver from all his canon appearances, manuals, the Mario & Sonic series, Nintendo Dream and PlayStation Magazine interviews, design documents and cultural research by myself and others. Particularly the Sonic Channel Story called Sonic & Silver that is meant to introduce Silver's character and the Team Vector Interview from Nintendo Dream Magazine.

Some believe that Silver is an experimental character that changes from from game to game but all ten of these core aspects have been with Silver since his very inception in Sonic 06 and have been indicated in character bios/design docs since the beginning and are simply shown to different extents throughout the series. Silver is a very complex and abstruse character that can be difficult to grasp due to his lack of focus and the obscurity of most things he appears in post 06. I hope this post has given you a deeper understanding of him.

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[mins-fins]

heart attack

&&. there's something hilarious about the beautiful doctor there to help with your terrible habits.

pairing: qian kun x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of overworking, mentions of passing out & hospitalization

word count: 0.9k

notes: this….. THISSS💔💔💔 this drabble was very inspired by the thai movie heart attack (a movie that has no right being as cute as it is) kun fits the part so well because first.. doctor kun, and second.. kun is so amazing, i love kun, we all fucking love kun 😿 this is a early bday gift for user junjiie bc we all know he loves kun (happy early bday pookie ily) this is insanely self indulgent because i have slept less than three hours in these past five days and have been working myself to shit because.. med school!! yayyyyyyy!! im so excited!! (is not excited)

"so what's the matter with you?"

the usual roughness that would lace the voice of a medical professional is replaced by the softness you would feel of pillows, you glance up, meeting the eyes of the beautiful man before you. you stare, forgetting where you are for a moment, the exhaustion rendering you speechless.

but it's a whisper in your head that reminds you of where you are, and you flinch. "oh— i um.. there's these rashes appearing on my body".

"okay" he mutters, clicking his tongue and pen in unison. "and where exactly?"

"my arms, my neck.." he hums, pulling up your sleeve to check out what you told him. "also there are some on my fingers".

he bites into his inner cheek, much too close for the sake of your heart. he then glances up, examining your face through his glasses. "you haven't been getting any sleep" he snaps his fingers in your direction, letting go of you and turning back to his computer.

you respond with a dry chuckle, too tired to even try to add emotion. "and you know that how?"

"i can see it in your eyes, those dark circles aren't doing you justice" he sucks his teeth as he types out something. "what's your occupation?"

it isn't strange that he's curious, just answer the question.

you shake your head, mind all over the place. "i work in graphic design".

"ohhh" he doesn't exactly seem surprised. "freelance?"

you nod.

his eyebrows join together. "how does an editing job have you so tired?"

you let out a breath, too exhausted to allow a laugh. "it's a twenty four hour thing, if i'm awake at all times i function better".

"you're barely functioning now".

"well you're a doctor, you always tell people the obvious" you sigh, closing your eyes to try and recollect the many hours of sleep you lost. "i'm sure you aren't any better than me.."

"i'd be inclined to disagree".

you open one eye, staring at the pretty doctor who types away on his computer, catching you in his peripheral vision. (eyes you don't notice due to your lethargy making you less disposed to).

"when was the last time you slept?"

your throat goes dry, your senses reduced to the clear fatigue. you could simply lie, how would he even know? there's no way dr. qian is a psychic, that would be freaky, you're sure it would be nightmarish if that were the case.

there's an indecipherable glimmer in his eye, one that would scare you in regular circumstances where you were fully awake. it's as if he knows you're going to lie, your attempt at fib crawls down your throat before it can even escape your lips. "five days ago".

his reaction is serene, much too calm for your situation. "five days ago.. and how many hours did you sleep?"

your brain is foggy, you almost blurt the number 'six', but that's simply your default response when people ask. why would you ever lie to a doctor?..and the cute doctor especially?

you pause at the wave of your thoughts. what do you mean he's cute?

it's simply common sense, y/n. don't you like smart guys?

you would probably attribute it to your terrible sleep deprivation if it weren't true. you can't deny that the man before you is simply so attractive it should be illegal, he's absolutely gorgeous, how can a regular doctor be so beautiful? you might fall over, not from your lack of sleep, but from the eyes of the man who stares with such care.

"like.. three?"

your voice scratches as you recall the last time you 'slept', he hums, clicking his pen as he notes the information down. he turns in his rolling chair, scooting closer to you. "you mind if i see your hands?"

you can't even put up a fight, you're just about to give into your own exhaustion. you put your hands out for him, and dr. qian takes your hands in his own, examining the rashes which litter your fingers. he's close, so close, you can admire each of his facial features with amazing certainty. everything about him is beautiful, his cheeks, his eyes, the curves of his lips, it's all beautiful, it should be a crime for such a man to exist.

"that's an issue.. have you taken medication for sleep before?" you shake your head, and his fingers slip from yours.

"alright.. i'm going to put you on doxylamine" he mumbles, getting back to noting down your state. you begin scratching at the rashes on your fingers, and he snaps: "don't scratch it".

you move your hands apart rather quickly, his tone of voice intimidating you enough that you pause. he's much too convincing.

he points at you. "tonight, and this next month onward, you sleep before nine o'clock every single day".

you uncharacteristically snicker. "do you sleep before nine o'clock every single day?"

he raises an eyebrow, amused by the question. "i'm the doctor, i know best".

"of course".

"you'll end up dead if you keep going at this rate, take your medication, sleep before nine every day, then check back in with me next month".

"if i'm not available, can i reschedule?"

the question is simply meant to be comedic, you're just about to pass out, trying to sneak in a last minute joke before having to leave the office of the cute doctor. he leans his arm against the desk, smiling at you. "don't reschedule, i want to see you".

and you clearly weren't expecting those words, because your cheeks flare up.

see y/n? you do like smart guys.

[shipping-isnt-morality]

I was frankly shocked the first time I discussed the Shoah with Israelis (rather than American Jews). There was a level of… I don’t know what to call it but victim-blaming, that I wasn’t sure how to handle. That’s of course not universal but the very fact that that’s an accepted viewpoint in Israel is kind of telling I think. For example there was even some scandal on the right in America when Ben Shapiro suggested that arming the Jews (more) would have prevented the Holocaust. In Israel that viewpoint is quite common.

There’s a kind of scorn among some Zionists for victims of the Holocaust, and if you really understand their point of view it’s easy to see why. If anti-Semitism is inevitable and incurable, if the very presence of Jews brings it about, then they should have fought harder, or at least left sooner. They should have known better than to ever think they could be welcome or safe in their home. It’s almost an exoneration of the anti-Semite; like a force of nature, he is inevitable and inexhaustible.

Not to always bring everything back to what I know, but it reminds me of how we talk about abusers and victims. These posts about protecting yourself from attackers in your car, in a parking lot, in your home, on a boat, whatever: They take for granted that you can not and should not feel safe in these places. They treat the danger of sexual predators the same as the danger of wildlife. Zionists talk about anti-Semites in a similar way, I’ve noticed.

Lord knows in many cases these are born from trauma. It’s no surprise that victims of serious violations would like to know how to protect themselves from it ever happening again and would want to protect others from the same.

The problem is that this trauma-informed response cannot actually fix the root of the problem. Neither anti-Semitism nor male sexual violence are forces of nature. They are byproducts of exploitative and imperfect systems run and populated by highly imperfect humans. Different systems have had different outcomes, though, some better than others, and recently some quite well indeed. Systemic solutions to these problems - at the least, to greatly reduce them, and to make justice more accessible - do exist. Humans can and have built them.

A systemic solution to the problem cannot start with the victim, though. It has to start with the perpetrator. It has to ask why the system keeps producing people who can and would do this. It has to ask what the perpetrator wants, why they want that, and why they think harming someone else will get them what they want. Simplistic, spiteful, or dehumanizing answers to these questions aren’t helpful; neither are trite or fatalistic ones. Only truthful, consistent, verifiable, rational answers will allow us to change the circumstances which lead to these crimes.

The victim is rarely in a position to change that system, or even to change the circumstances of a single abuser; on a personal level it makes sense to treat the threats as inevitable. On a societal level, though, it is essential that we recognize the perpetrators as rational actors who are fully responsible for their actions and whose excuses must be challenged.

Ideologically it is completely backwards to start from an assumption that it is up to the actions of a victim to avoid victimization. It is infinitely easier for perpetrators, who are after all themselves rational actors and members of our society, to choose a different action which does not victimize someone else. And where possible it is our role as a community to make better choices more accessible, and to punish exploitative behavior.

Because a victim-led initiative, at worst, would result in avoiding victimization through in turn becoming victimizers of a different, even more marginalized group. It recreates the problem: the victim cannot feel safe because the only defense they can conceive is one which never puts them in the position to be victimized ever again, but there is no battle to be won against the entire system. So a smaller battle is chosen, and a weaker opponent singled out (and rhetorically aligned with the systemic danger and hostility), and the exploitation dance happens again, one level down.

I’m hardly the first to observe this. This is probably a clumsy rephrasing of common philosophy examining human exploitation.

But the point is: all of that makes sense as a protective coping mechanism for the victim, but as a society it must not be where our analysis begins or ends. On a societal level this exploitation is not omnipresent, inevitable, or inexhaustible. The perpetrators are in our society as much as the victims are; an uncomfortable fact that I think people need to grow up about.

Our solutions can, should, and must look at why this happens and what we can do about it. The answer is not “nothing”. We have accomplished extraordinary things as a species. We have concepts of justice, of empathy. We have written documents of shared humanity, we have demonstrated shared humanity - for better and for worse. It is possible for us to find answers to these brutally difficult questions.

Palestine must be free, and Jews must be safe. These imperatives are not mutually exclusive. Those who tell you otherwise have something to gain from your fear.

[fangaminghell]

Welp! Spoilers for pokemon rejuvenation, particularly 13.5!!!!!!!!

So in my big ass renegade trio post, I said that Teddy is dead. That is partially true. Teddy did die, though to the rest of the world he simply went missing? Why? Because his body wasn't there when Isador came back with everyone to "save" him. So what happened to the body? Spacea and Tiempa happened. Theodore Arkwright died that day. And Spacea and Tiempa brought him back to life. Which. Isn't exactly allowed, if I'm remembering correctly. Interfering with humans at that level is a no go. But Teddy was a special case. He was a good battler. A very good battler. And his dutiful heart and sense of justice was honestly perfect for the Storm chasers cause. So they decided to bend the rules and bring Teddy back to life, and have him join the Storm chasers.

The thing is, though, that because of the special circumstances of Teddy - being brought back to life - Spacea and Tiempa made sure to keep him as separate as he could from the other Storm chasers. He had his own missions, his own place to life, and was almost always busy. I think Melia only really saw him a couple times - he could never really form a connection with others. Which was fine. He was convinced that he was doing a good thing, and even if....even if he was still alone, without his brother, it would be worth it in the end. Needless to say, unlike others, Teddy has a lot of faith in Spacea and Tiempa.

It's unfortunate,though, what inevitably happens to him. Because like all Storm Chasers, even one of the best like Teddy, once their usefulness was out, they were discarded. And Teddy, inevitably, was no exception. And so, by the end of it all, Teddy dies once more. Whether or not he ever gets to see his brother again is still getting worked out. Though chances are, they do not.

Let's take a step back for a moment because I've explained the Storm chasers part, but never fully explained Teddy.

Teddy is everything that Isador wants. Teddy is kind, heroic, and patient to a fault. In many ways, he is like his father. I mentioned in the renegade post that the twins father was a well respected member of his community: many people looked up to him. So when he died, the people of the town looked at someone else- young Teddy. Because he was kind, heroic, patient to a fault and noticeably, talented. He could be the one to save the town. He would be their hero. And what an unfair thing to put on a child.

Truthfully speaking, Teddy never wanted to be considered the hero. He loves helping people yes, and for his town, he would do anything but. He didn't want all that attention. All he wanted was to be with his twin brother, the only person he felt he could be himself with. Cause here's the thing. Isador hated and envied ( and loved?) Teddy. Teddy absolutely adored and loved Isador. Because it was really all he had. Teddy never wanted for Isador to feel left out- he wanted them to do things together, laugh together, battle together. Even when Isador left him for dead, he couldn't even be angry. He hoped that one day the two could just talk and hope that maybe, it was just a mistake. He hoped that one day there would be no tension between them, and that they could just be brothers again. That's all he wanted.

But that day never came.

In paragon, because of the reset and Will's Curse, Teddy is an only child. He does not remember Isador. No one does. And yet he always feels like something is missing. He was never able to get Oblitus town on the maps like the town had hoped, though because he was always the favorite, they were never mad at him. He helps around the town as he can, and tries to keep everyone in spirit. He's still the town's little hero. A lone hero. Shouldering his own grief and responsibility all on his own. But he tries. He really does. That's the best he can do anyway.

Oh! Fun fact. The red scarf that Isador wears in canon? It's Teddy's. Isador is very protective of that scarf. He refuses to take it off even at his own detriment, and gets very anxious when it's not with him. It's funny. It's a reminder of the person he hates the most. And yet, he doesn't leave without it. Odd.

[fortifice]

The Captain of the Silvermane Guard? He’s young, exceptionally handsome, respected by all those who know him. He comes from a noble, wealthy family, he’s kind hearted and brave, loyal to his people to a fault, and he never wavers in his dedication to protecting them even when he’s on the verge of collapse. By all means, you would think someone like him has everything and more a person could long for in this world. It’s unfortunate that it’s all a mask and nothing more. I don’t see someone’s who has the entire world in the pan of their hand. More like… someone who has been forced to bear the weight of it on his back for as long as he can remember. Has he ever once in his life been asked what he wanted? Does he even know? Can he name to you his closest friends, or the last meaningful relationship he was in without having to stop and mull it over?

I can admire his more impressive qualities, of which their are many, and still feel a vague sense of disgust at a population who would expect someone who hasn’t even had the chance to live yet to lay down his life so they can continue their own uninterrupted. Where is the justice? If someone born into that kind of privilege can be sentenced to a prolonged, inevitable death in the freezing cold, surrounded by monsters and fallen comrades, what the hell is there to hold out hope for? I won’t pretend to understand what happened with the last Supreme Guardian, but all I know is that for a planet that claims to embody Preservation, it’s pretty damned pathetic that no one thought of looking to alternate solutions instead of sending their sons to die every few years. To allow a tyrannical monarch to segregate the population in half and leave the less fortunate side to rot should have been a cal to serve her head on a platter and take control back of their own destiny.

What was done to those guards that they were okay with leaving some of their people for dead instead of standing up for what was right?

What came first, the people of Belobog losing faith in the idea that circumstances could improve if even just a fraction of them stood up and rallied for change? Or the previous generation breaking down their children to the point where complacency and absolute obedience was the only thing they were permitted to do?

But things are improving now. Belobog has outside help, allies, friends. They have options. It’s time to let the guards live instead of expecting them to sacrifice their bodies and souls to death only to raise their children to do the same thing.

If I could ask the Captain two things it would be this: what does he truly want? And would he ever willingly force his own child into the position he is in now? If the answer is no, then somewhere song the way, someone failed the guards.

It was painful to hear the truth so candidly, for they had grown complacent when facing the imminence of death at every dawn and laying their fallen brethren as dusk settled. It was not to say that it was a merciful thing, it was to say that they expected it, it was the way things had always been, would always be. He had seethed with the unjustness of it for so many years, trod the path of his forefathers and accepted that he would die, it was fate, for someone to stand up and ask who wanted this ? who asked for this, there wasn’t an answer he could give that was truthful. No one wanted to die. The men he had marched into battle with that had lost their lives had wanted to live more than anything else, when someone had seen them huddled around a fire laughing heartily, sharing meals together, living together, it became so excruciatingly obvious that none of them had asked for this. He does not take his position as captain lightly, for as much as it is a shackle he has always walked with it with pride. It was an intrinsic part of who he was, but to ask what he wanted, would he be an honest man if he answered that this was all he had ever coveted, that it was not imprisonment, condemning young men to die for the sake of preserving normalcy. Not many were brazen enough to speak up against the Supreme Guardian’s will, it had encompassed belobog for decades, in the wake of her death things were changing but it was like thawing frozen, brittle cogs. Everything would take time, it was an inevitable thing that, because these people had become accustomed to survival, not living. This commanding letter imbued with all that fervent emotion makes his chest ache, because he knows it’s not wrong - he knows he does not have the answers that they might want. But when they ask him, implore him for his own feelings, is this what he wanted ? would he force his children to take up the mantle and die for the people of belobog. He looks haunted by that revelation, because he knows that his truth is not in accordance with the Supreme Guardian’s will that had dictated so much of his life. “ No..” it sounds pained, like he were gritting it out from between his teeth, like every breath in the wake of change was excruciating for him. He was having to learn about himself, about others, when his whole life had been shaped for one thing and now he was left to reel in the aftermath of it, change wasn’t easy - it wasn’t pleasant, it hurt. “ I would not condemn anyone else to walk the path I have, it is far too imbued with suffering and death.” he could envision the other’s hands clenched into fists, grabbing his white livery and shaking him until he realized that he did not need to die for them, no one wanted him dead. “ If I was afforded the opportunity I would leave this place.” it’s such a blasphemous thing to say, that his whole soul keens beneath the weight of it. “ I have spent much of my life protecting it but all I have wanted is to leave.” wouldn’t it make others recoil from him, knowing that the pristine white of the captain’s uniform was stained with the desire to walk away from it all. The death was too much, when someone asked for him to be honest he thought he may be crushed under the corollary of his confession. “ Their words are harsh but they are not wrong, Belobog needs to change.” and this letter he crumples up, he doesn’t throw it away, he thinks if another’s prying eyes were to lay upon it they too might suffer with the revelations he did. 

[erebosblue]

welcome to literally I haven't even finished a fic for this fandom yet and I'm gonna yell into the void about a ship anyway.

I do not understand why Yatoma is a rarepair?????

sure sure Kaz, (just get used to me calling him Kaz that's what I default to at this point,) is canonically in love with Bishamon and Yato and Hiyori are love interests even if I don't like that ship. but like??? when has that ever stopped shippers before?

I do like Bishamon and Kaz in a lot of ways, but y'all are sleeping on Yatoma and I will not let that stand.

(also: I am pretty aware of what happens in the manga but I'm still catching up so pardon mistakes I'm just silly little guy with Opinions.™️)

Yato and Kaz is such a beautiful and tragic love story. even more so than the other ships that involve either one of them.

Kaz is a guy who's loyal to a fault. he will do anything in his power to keep those he loves safe and this often works to his detriment. he's betrayed Bishamon multiple times because he wants to protect her. Kaz will do anything and everything to save his loved ones no matter what happens to him.

he gets killed? fine by him.

he becomes a Nora? as long as Veena has justice, he will do it. he will beg for it.

Kaz's extreme loyalty can even make him seem untrustworthy in a divine sense of irony. not just when it's being used against him for a plan to kill Bishamon.

Kaz's loyalty is something that can only end in pain for him because he just doesn't value himself. he is a tool to help his God(s) and nothing more.

and then there's Yato. someone can seem extremely noncommittal not by choice, but by circumstance. because the thing is, once you have a place in Yato's heart, he doesn't want to let go.

but he is forced to over and over again. he is forced to release Shinki because they think he's unreliable because he just dips sometimes and no one knows why.

he cares so deeply about the people close to him but it doesn't seem that way because

he doesn't know how to properly communicate that and

he keeps everything close to his chest out of fear.

Yato would do fucking anything to keep everyone safe and even die for them even though he is terrified about ceasing to exist.

Kaz is ready to die because he thinks that it's just the natural progression of his use and Yato is ready to die because he thinks it's the one good thing he can do.

but that's not quite it. Yato didn't want to die, he was trying to get his name out there so that he wouldn't die, but once it became clear there was no time, he accepted death because killing Father means more that continued existence.

this could be false, but just from what I've seen and been able to read between the lines of, Yato was always going to kill Father once he realized that he wanted to be better after Sakura, but he didn't want to die and never come back.

it was a waiting game. one that Father won out because Yato's name is still unknown.

but Yato is okay with that as long as he's free for maybe just a minute and everyone else is safe. everyone that made him truly happy.

okay, okay, but why does any of that mean Kaz and Yato are a good ship?

because they are tragically similar and drawn to each other.

Yato was Kaz's beginning and Kaz is Yato's end. Yato is the reason why Kaz is a Blessed Vessel and Kaz is what allowed Yato to go on the suicide mission that is fighting Father.

Yato is a God that barely feels like a God with all the chains around him. how little he was allowed to know. how much of his life was determined by a man that should, by all means, be beneath him but isn't.

Kaz is a Shinki that keeps falling in love with Gods (/p or /r) and is hurdling towards self-destruction as he tries to keep all his loyalties in order. a Shinki that has much more power of his Gods than any Shinki should. because Bishamon is emotionally reliant on him and Yato needs/needed him to protect him. (I'm not saying Kaz is manipulative. he's not.)

Yato and Kaz are God and Shinki in labels but reading their interactions it never feels like that typical master-Shinki relationship because it's not. they never have been that and never will be.

Kaz demeans his own feelings because "Gods can never love humans" and Yato does because he's afraid.

Kazune and Kazuma are distinctly different because Yato brings out a piece of Kaz that is much less strict and more,,, human. Bishamon and Kaz are always going to be limited by the fact that Kaz views her as above him. sure, he views Yato as above him too, but it's a lot less blatant. he talks to Yato with an ease that we don't see a lot.

Kaz is a very deliberate man. he rarely talks without purpose and intent. his words have to mean something for him to say anything. but it's different with Yato because they are different together.

Yukine might be Yato's guidepost and Blessed Vessel, but Yato is too parental over him to do some of the things he does with Kaz. because Kaz is his friend. not his kid.

this is getting way too long, but I just have a lot to say okay?

Yato and Kaz are the definition of Star-Crossed Lovers because no matter what they will end up apart. Kaz's first loyalty is to Bishamon and Yato was always going to die trying to be free. they're God and Shinki. two Noras (I'm counting Yato as something like a Nora,) fighting back against someone who hurt them and then they will separate. back to their true masters. Bishamon and lady death herself.

[eyedelater]

morality

(part 2 of a series of posts about tsukishima hajime. part 1 here)

one could argue that tsukishima is as bad a person as ogata because he too killed his own dad and has killed many other people, not just for military reasons, but at the behest of the head of a REBEL military faction with shady plans and shadier means. and he does tend to kill people up close instead of from far away like a sniper. you have to consider, though, that when tsukishima killed his dad, he wasn't intending to, and he didn't revel in it and give a whole big speech like ogata did. he let his rage take over and decided to beat the hell out of his dad, but he never decided to kill him. that part was accidental. (he did tell tsurumi that he didn't regret it, but that was based on the mistaken notion that it was revenge for causing igogusa to kill herself. once he found out the truth, he regretted it. we know this because after the stenka, he warned sugimoto against losing control and doing something that he can't take back.) the bottom line is that tsukishima does not enjoy killing people. he kills people because he feels that is part of his duty, which arises from the debt he feels he owes to tsurumi for saving him. he doesn't pay close attention to his feelings of guilt or allow himself to express them publicly or privately, but he does have them. he just grits his teeth and does what he is told to do (and sometimes even does the expected dirty work without being explicitly told) because he has given his free will over to tsurumi completely. by comparison, ogata seems to enjoy killing people explicitly of his own free will, in the same way he enjoys hunting game… or in a similar way, depending on who he is killing. ogata always kills willfully and intentionally, because that is what a hunter does. tsukishima doesn't wallow in feelings of guilt over killing people because that part of him has withered up, whereas ogata doesn't wallow in feelings of guilt over killing people because he does not have the innate understanding of those feelings that most people have and hasn't for his whole life.

in the past, i've made a big deal of it (in my head) when fictional characters have a habit of killing people. a character's moral standing meant a lot to me on a personal level. but now, something has changed in me, and i don't get stuck on that point as much. probably i have hardened my heart, and it's a problem on my end, but let's set that aside. despite tsukishima and koito both killing a lot of people, i want them to be happy. maybe it's because they both would not have gone out of their way to kill people if not for their circumstances (such as being in the military and also being in a rebel military group). they are not killers at heart; it is the innate immorality of war (and the military itself) that has corrupted both of them into killing. they have both done unforgivable things, but they can improve as people and do their best in the future to be a positive force in the world instead of a negative one. (except they both stay in the military until the end of WWII so that's really difficult. that's one reason it's kind of nicer to put them in a reincarnation AU...)

when inkarmat blocks tanigaki from being shot by tsukishima and tells him to kill her first if his sense of justice allows it, it's probably not quite as big a mental struggle for tsukishima as it should be. after all, for years now, it's not like he's been believing that he is steadfastly pursuing justice. he knows he's a pawn for tsurumi's plans, and he knows tsurumi's plans will hurt some people and help others. he may vaguely believe that tsurumi's plans will work out better for japan in the long run, but justice itself is not something he has been overly concerned with. his personal sense of justice has greatly deteriorated over his long tenure as a pawn. later, when koito sees tanigaki and inkarmat on their way out, hesitates, and decides not to stop them… that's because his sense of justice hasn't been fully corrupted yet. of course, it has been a little corrupted, because he had already killed lots of people for tsurumi before this (at abashiri) and he will kill more people for tsurumi after this (at goryokaku). but he still has a basic sense of right and wrong that tsukishima lacks at the time. that's why it's good that he becomes a guiding force for tsukishima in the end… if tsukishima feels like he needs to follow someone with big ideas, it should be someone who still believes justice is worth pursuing.

[randomfoggytiger]

MELISSA, The Soulful ISFP

Melissa Scully was a bit of a surprise-- I was expecting her to have high Extroverted Feeling (feeling and interpersonal connection expressed outwardly); but that was undercut by her strong, personal, moral system. Everything about her revolves around her beliefs; and how she helps and guides others with those beliefs. So, I tried to do her justice here with her strengths and weaknesses.

**Note**: This is likely filled with typos-- pardon my very tired editing brain~

MELISSA

The Hero Function: This function is the most effortless of the stack of eight, the “superhero” if you will; and serves as a Type's primary source. Introverted Feeling (Fi for short) leads with mood-based personal morals, values, beliefs, principles, and worth. ISFPs guide their lives with what they believe to be "right" rather than what is the "true" or "correct" way;

and are very proud about what they believe, integrating their morals into every fiber of their lives-- from personal expression to how they enact their principles upon the world. Because Fi is the source of independent morals, it draws others who lack or doubt their own to an ISFPs unflinching beliefs. This gives them ample opportunity to suggest or nudge others toward what they think is the right path-- whether that is true or not changes with each circumstance and set of variables.

The Parent Function: A Type's 2nd function is the responsible but slightly pessimistic "parent" of the hero function, helping it to fulfill necessary duties and develop maturity. Extroverted Sensing (Se for short) is "in the moment" personified. ISFPs live fully in the present, creating experiences to responsibly get other types out of ruts and comfort zones. They master creative pursuits (crafting or planting or hiking or sporting) to improve their loved one's life with hands-on, one-on-one bonding activities. They are most effective with Types that have high amounts of Introverted Sensing-- Scully, for instance (see here)-- serving as their healthy boundary-pusher and getting them to tune with just "being."

The Child Function: This function is the most idealistic of all the functions and causes the deepest wounds if “bullied.” Introverted Intuition (Ni for short) centers around personal destiny, desires, goals, willpower, and choice. ISFPs are ruled by their freedom of choice, following its guide in every area of their life. If this is stripped from them, they will be extinguished.

In a sense, Ni child serves as "lady luck" for an ISFP, allowing them to always land on their feet after a possibly deadly situation. They, somehow, usually come out on top, saving themselves and others in powerful and miraculous ways.

Ni Child also teams up with an ISFP's Fi Hero to make them very mood-based creators-- too often laziness is prescribed to them because they have yet to finish a project that has been "in progress" for years; when, in reality, ISFPs just aren't in an inspired mood or are slowly chipping away until, finally, it fall folds into completion.

The Inferior Function: The 4th function is the most important of the 8 functions, as it serves as the simultaneous zone for their fears, insecurities, and aspirations as well as their launching pad to the most powerful function (the Demon Function, see below.) Extroverted Thinking (Te for short) is rationale: inductions, metrics, rules, achievements, labels, standards, and reputations. While they are intensely soulful people, ISFPs are highly sensitive about their reputations: they are easily crushed by others' ridicule of their beliefs or ways of life.

These types strive for academic achievements or "book learning" not for learning's sake, but to increase their popularity and "clout" through cultural or historical knowledge. ISFPs are afraid of what others think of them-- they don't have to be good themselves as long as others think they are good-- and would rather quietly walk away from someone who has hurt them than confront them.

The Nemesis Function: This function is not only the 5th in a list of 8, but it is also the source of a Type's worry. Extroverted Feeling (Fe for short) deals with interpersonal ethics, acceptance, bonding, culture, mutual support, and balance. ISFPs are worried that they do not care enough: they put their own needs before others naturally (usually in a healthily selfish way); and hoard their own time and resources as well. In order to do away with their nagging doubts, these types need to reach out to others empathetically by donating themselves in a sense-- volunteering their time, energy, resources, or company to others and their pursuits. This soothes their concerns; and leaves their own personal touch on others' lives forever.

The Critic Function: The 6th function is a Type's most cynical aspect, greatest possibility for wisdom, and also the easiest place to rationalize a person out of their bad behavior. Introverted Sensing (Si for short) is focused on duty, honor, responsibility, habit, and security; but ISFPs don't like to commit while expecting it from others. They hate being obligated, leaving obligations behind to pursue whatever has caught their interest or passion.

They also have terrible memory; but can't seem to grasp how faulty it is. shrugging it off with a laissez-faire attitude of "it wasn't meant to be remembered." They will accept reproof if given proof they've been incorrect; but shrug off others' frustrations off with a laissez-faire attitude of "it wasn't meant to be remembered."

The Trickster Function: A Type's weakest function is their Extroverted Intuition (Ne for short): metaphysics and widespread consequences for society as a whole. Ne Trickster blinds ISFPs to the intentions of others-- leaving them vulnerable to plotting or manipulation-- and handicapping them to the potential consequences of their actions. To ISFPs, a possible problem doesn't exist until it smacks them in the face. Melissa always motivated Scully to ditch the conventional expectations of her life and go with what her "heart" told her to do (and pushing her to regain her repressed memories); but she was blinded to the harm it might (and did) cause her sister.

This led her and Scully down unnecessary paths of pain; but, while Missy would have seen it as a necessary part of life to fall into the same pit over and over, Scully was frightened further away from her intuition by repeated traumas, clinging tighter and tighter to provable, rational science. Her Trickster also grated on Mulder's nerves: his Ne Parent (see post here) saw all the disastrous consequences of her decisions, the Scully family decisions, their enemies' decisions, and his own decisions that led them to Scully's coma; and it infuriated Mulder that Melissa seemingly hand-waved it away as "entirely human."

The Demon Function:  And lastly, the strongest function of an ISFP's stack is their Introverted Thinking (Ti for short), which is unfiltered logical deduction based in facts rather than external opinions or sources. For ISFPs, no one else's opinions matter: they must have their say and be allowed to believe it. If no one takes the time to listen to their input or scoffs away their insight, ISFPs will wash their hands from guiding others, letting the fools implode in their own stupid decisions.

(In extreme cases, these Types will quietly craft a destructive Goldberg Variation machine-- either with words or social embarrassments or life-threatening traps-- and spring a doom suddenly upon their unsuspecting victim.) In Melissa's case, she warned Mulder one last time that his vengeful defeat would disappoint Scully and himself; then washed her hands of any guilt and left him to destroy or salvage his own life.

Summary

Melissa is a gentle soul, actively helping others lead a more present life while attempting to guide them with her own morals and beliefs. If they ignore her or try to silence her voice, she will retreat into the darkness and let them die by their own self-inflicted injuries.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Disclaimers: This is a self-assessed analysis. This information is not based on the abominable MBTI system (which has been butchered from its original Jungian typology since ~WWII); instead, it’s a combination between the works of Jung’s type psychology, Dr. Linda Berens’ Communication styles, Dr. Dario Nardi’s EEG brain scan compiled research, and others’ data and practices as compiled and simplified by CSJoseph. This system is based only on the Nature side of Nature/Nurture; and each “type” is not a “box” to fit everyone into– simply a tool to help understand the basics of the human mind that science has only begun to fathom in its limited scope.

[phoenix-flamed]

MAROON, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, KID, and BEJEWELED

Maroon: how does your muse deal with complexity and conflict in their relationships?

Elwin tries to be diplomatic, reasonable, and fair when addressing and dealing with problems, probably because of his extensive studies into statesmanship in preparation to take the throne. This isn't inherently a bad thing, given his role as ruler of a nation; where it does become an issue is in his personal life, specifically with his family.

He puts his emotions and the yearnings of his heart towards his family as secondary to his duties as Archduke. In terms of the game's canon, in my opinion this is most apparent when it comes his decision to adhere to the long-standing traditions practiced and passed on throughout the Rosfield family where Phoenix's role in war are concerned, despite Joshua being a mere child -- and a frail and sickly one, to boot.

Because of his attempts to remain diplomatic and fair to everyone even whilst dealing with his family, it seems to put considerable strain upon his personal relationships. Add onto that the fact that without seeming to realize that he's doing it, he's placing his family in positions where they're being forced to carry the weight of their respective burdens without the emotional support that they need from him, because his attention is always focused elsewhere -- on his duties to his people as a whole, on caring for and protecting them, whether it be on the field with his soldiers or in the throne room or war room discussing strategy with his Lord Commander, Shields, and council members.

You're On Your Own, Kid: how does your character handle difficult situations or adversity without relying on others for support?

Elwin is stubborn and has a strong sense of justice. If he believes something is the right thing to do, he will do it; he will see it through no matter the cost, and regardless of whether or not he has to do it on his own or not.

He'll try to appeal to those closest to him to bring them over to his side, but he doesn't bank on it working. He instead prepares himself to handle things entirely on his own, and, in truth because of this, has a difficult time accepting the help of others. If he's going to take on a burden, then he believes that it is his responsibility to carry that burden himself, rather than burdening others by allowing them to help carry it with him, even if it would lighten his load.

He is a protector, through and through. And in his mind with regards to his standards for himself, a protector does the protecting, not the other way around. It's his duty to act as that bastion for those he cares about.

Bejeweled: what is your character's most prized possession, and what does it symbolize to them?

His sons, first and foremost. They are everything to him. They are his pride, his joy; they are his reason to keep going, to keep fighting no matter what. They are his life and his legacy, and his hope. In his heart, he would do anything for them; he would give them the world, if he could. He would shoulder their burdens, shield them from the cruelty of the world, and support them unconditionally -- if only he would tell them and show them that.

Other prized possessions are his Metian Bonds -- the vambraces gifted to him by his father once he came of age, which symbolize the love and trust and faith his father had in him and his ability to rule; and his wedding band from his marriage to Anabella. (Though he'll never reveal to anyone, especially not Anabella herself, that he still keeps it close as not just a token of his affection and respect for her, but also as a memento of their younger years together, before circumstances drove such a massive wedge into their relationship.)

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

🎭 - Are they loved or hated by the public? Neutral? Do they live solitary lives, or do they blend in with the normal population? Do they lead a double life? Have a ‘day job?’

🐈‍⬛ - Do you associate an animal with your slasher OC? What one? Or multiple? And why? Is it related to their killing methods?

💀 - If they were to be killed by a final girl/boy/person, what would be a fitting end for them, symbolically?

For anyone you want <3

Ask List

I'll just add the read more straight away because this is possibly gonna escalate

🎭 - Are they loved or hated by the public? Neutral? Do they live solitary lives, or do they blend in with the normal population? Do they lead a double life? Have a ‘day job?’

Cylas With Cylas it's kind of a fifty-fifty thing, people either love her or hate her. Although being generally kind and patient, they do have a strong sense of justice and can be quite opinionated. Also socially awkward and has a sense of humour not everyone shares. She works in a hospital, has cats, likes pizza... just a regular person. They're an introvert but that's the main reason they tend to stay home, though they do also enjoy meeting friends occasionally. But they obviously don't just go shouting from the rooftops that she has murderous tendencies ;D

Ghost She doesn't leave the house often and among the other Fireflys she doesn't stand out much - usually Baby and Mama are the ones getting everyone's attention. In general though people look at her with... wary curiousity? She can't help visually sticking out, although Baby and Blinky have brought up the idea of dying her hair before. She didn't really like it, though. The only times she really interacts with strangers is when doing readings and stuff, and in those times her lack of experience with social interactions doesn't really show since people would probably think she's odd either way.

Cathryn Doesn't like people. Doesn't go out of her way to be nice to people. Usually everyone tends to stay away from her. Once she war,s up to someone she can be quite nice though. She just has a hard time being vulnerable around people. When it comes to the aspect of her being a vampire, that doesn't stand out at all. I can't really say much for the other points because... fuck if I know xD the exact living circumstances are something I still need to figure out.

Candy Every teacher's dream student (almost, the French teacher doesn't like anyone), always friendly, pretty much liked by everyone. Sure, at school there are some bullies, but that's just how it be sometimes. Other than that there are no real reasons to dislike her, though people do have a tendency not to take her seriously, or assume her to be younger than she is. But overall she just seems like a sweet girl, helpful, reliable, trustworthy. Couldn't hurt a fly.

🐈‍⬛ - Do you associate an animal with your slasher OC? What one? Or multiple? And why? Is it related to their killing methods?

I don't think so? Like, Cylas has cats, so that's a thing. Cathryn's nick name is Cat (duh). I have brought up the idea that Ghost eventually adopts a stray cat. But... that's probably cause I just really like cats ;D

If I had to assign an animal though I'd probably say maybe a crow for Ghost, or owl. And/or a nightingale? She likes to sing but was never allowed to, and she did grow up in captivity.

Cylas likes snakes and will either jokingly or in arguments refer to themself as "gutter rat" or "vermin" cause she's had those insults thrown at her before but refuses to let them offend her. In their opinion, rats are really smart, can be good pets (though probably not wild ones), and can probably do a quite good job getting rid of bodies. Also hard to get rid of. And she likes the image of a human just being taken down by a huge swarm of rats.

Cathryn is just... some kind of wildcat, probably. She's a predator. She's got "cat" in her name. She likes to cuddle but won't hesitate to hurt someone if they get on her nerves too much.

With my beloved babygirl Candy there's something I came up with recently that could be part of her backstory. I think that in the past when she was younger the bullying was much worse, with kids even following or chasing her on her way back home, until one day a stray dog (or several?) kind of... adopted her? That or it's a neighbour's pet, not sure yet.

💀 - If they were to be killed by a final girl/boy/person, what would be a fitting end for them, symbolically?

I mean, I overall didn't create any of my OCs to have an end, so... all of these would be the worst case scenarios, and not really caused by a final girl/boy but by a person even worse than they are. Or something.

Cylas knows that "hubris is the downfall of man", that being too proud makes you vulnerable and blind to possible weaknesses. They also know that, if anything, that will be what brings them down - underestimating an opponent. It could be a planned victim, or some random person who attacks her in the street. But the real bitter outcome would be if people working for that "research facility" came after her again for some reason. It's their biggest fear, and if possible, they'd probably end their own life before risking to be captured.

With Ghost it would most likely just be the police finding out what the Fireflys are doing or maybe a random victim - she isn't much of a fighter, especially when she first gets there. For her, the biggest irony would be if she was killed by a religious person, especially a priest or nun. Maybe the convent she had originally stayed with turns out to be more fanatic than she thought and, after her and the nuns who were supposed to kill her disappeared, the convent sent someone to investigate. Maybe they come to finish the job. She'd be most vulnerable when out in the town, usually she has RJ with her but it is possible that she'd go alone sometimes. The most dramatic thing would obviously be if they took her back to where she was born and gave her a straight up witch's death.

Cathryn would be killed by The Council (tm). Either along with everyone else or due to underestimating someone. Or because Alicia was caught and she tried to save her. She is very impulsive. Being killed by Alicia's mother would be... quite humiliating. And especially bad if Alicia was made to watch.

For Candy I don't see a death, more going to prison, a mental hospital, or her grandparents getting custody over her and basically locking her up. These things most likely caused by her family.

[covenunited]

About Jett’s Royal!verse

Jett was born into a noble family of scholars and historians, those who sought knowledge above all else. At least, that’s what they liked to tell others. What the court believed. Those who were not corrupt and looking to gain power were few and far between. In fact, his uncle was the first head of the family in a good long while to ascend to that position without having blood on his hands. He was a great man, indeed, a seeker of truths that had been buried in the past, and someone that Jett eagerly looked up to. His parents, on the other hand, were not so earnest. His mother was an ambitious shrew, and his father followed her orders without much protest, carrying out devious plots in order to raise their station as much as possible. That, Jett was certain, had included the mysterious death of his grandfather.

Lacking proof, but determined to shine a light on the subject, Jett began to dig deeper and deeper into the circumstances and evidence surrounding his grandfather’s demise. Every thread he pulled revealed a dead end, which only frustrated him and spurred him on. Finally, with no other avenues of investigation and no one listening to him, Jett landed on his last resort: he’d have to get answers from the victim himself. He delved into researching necromancy and the occult, sourcing disguised tomes and forbidden texts from a fortune teller in town under the cover of night. Becoming well-versed in witchcraft over the course of his research, he soon began uncovering his own latent arcane abilities, manifesting his familiar in the form of a beautiful black panther. He could see and hear the spirits of the dead…and they had a lot to say. His grandfather’s ghost bitterly confirmed his suspicions about a murder most foul. Several of them, in fact. However, knowing he was right simply wasn’t enough for the noble Jett. Everyone else had to know it, too.

He began preparing a ritual that would briefly reunite his grandfather’s soul with his mouldering corpse, allowing him to speak the truth for all to hear. The main event was to take place at a family gala that his mother had been planning for months. His own coming out party, in fact, where he’d be formally introduced into high society. How fitting. Everything was going according to plan. All eyes were on him, and when he finally dragged all of the skeletons out of the closet, they’d have no choice but to listen. Unfortunately, just as he was putting the finishing touches on the ritual, his father caught him and called the guards to arrest him for practicing necromancy.

Fearing for his life, Jett chose to flee. He may have been relentless in his pursuit of the truth, but being barely an adult, he was not yet ready to die for it. He ran for what seemed like hours before the guards finally lost him in a dark and dreary forest known as the Marwood. He’d heard stories of it throughout his childhood, and been told never to venture into it. It was known to devour people whole, or to rip them to shreds until there was nothing left, according to his mother. Still Jett was more afraid of his family and the guards. The forest didn’t feel threatening at all in comparison. In turn, it sensed his pure heart and sought to protect him, giving him both a new home and its name to call his own.

Six years Jett Marwood has been lost to the woods and its horrors. Six years has he embraced them and made them his own. And in those six years, he has honed his magic, thinking only of the justice he will one day seek. Until then, he will remain in his cabin in the woods, mainly conjuring and keeping to himself. Occasionally, he helps those who have lost their way, offering tea, a warm meal, secure lodgings, and often insight into various struggles. Perhaps even a brief foray into romance, if the mood strikes both him and his guest, although he is rather inexperienced with such things and thus easily flustered.

[wemlygust]

For me, one of the most important things I've realized is that you can empathize with, understand, and forgive someone, and even want them to forgive themself and go live their best life as well as they can... And still decide you won't allow them into your life or give them any more of your time and energy than you already have. You can protect yourself even from people you feel for. You do not have to take their problems as your own, not even in part, and especially not when they are careless with you, your heart, your things, or your time. But yeah, also, you can be angry without it being a burden on yourself, despite what people tell you. It's important to consider whether being angry is hurting you, or whether you're taking it out on others. But sometimes anger is a shield and a hearth, keeping you warm and sheltered and alive, especially in situations where otherwise you might be internalizing abuse and tearing yourself apart instead, and especially if you're someone who isn't or hasn't been allowed to get angry or who's had your anger dismissed out of hand more often than not. Whether anger helps or harms can really depend on the person and the situation, imo. I do think, though, that it's important not to conflate one's own furious anger, which is a subjective feeling, with what the subject of that anger "deserves" in some vague/implied higher sense. Because at the end of the day, if you actually try to define what "so and so deserves [xyz]" means, it always seems to just boil down to, "I personally want [xyz] thing to happen to this person." People talking about deserving as if they are trying to manifest of system of karma in the world, where good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people, thus achieving justice through revenge or reward, but at the end of the day, nobody is equipped to fairly or reliably judge people on some fundamental scale of goodness or badness. I try to remember that thing I've seen said (somewhere, can't remember who said it, if it was even anyone in particular - I think there was some study), about how most people will view their own actions with understanding based on their situation because they are aware of all their own circumstances - e.g. "I was rude to my coworker this morning, but oh my god I was just so sleepy, and the traffic was terrible getting in to work, and I hate this job, and I have a headache, and what I said didn't quite match what I meant" or "Wow I am so late, why is the bus so unreliable these days, why can I not find an alarm clock that wakes me up, oh no everything is harder now because I'm panicking and now I'm even later and also frazzled and dropping things" - and judge themselves to be a good person who sometimes fucks up or has problems, while conversely viewing the similar actions of others as indicators of their fundamental qualities, e.g. "Fred was rude this morning; he's an asshole," or "Mary is always late, what a flake," without regard for the unknown circumstances.

/typing way more than I meant to again, good grief, how is it noon rn

maturing is realizing that some people should never be forgiven

[coles-scythe]

Edit: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY POST FORMATTING??? WHERED MY READMORE GO?????

Edit 2: Fixed the formatting, this app is so broken ;-;

I posted the first two to personal bc they were part of a batch but they also feature my design of Nanako from my P4–5 AU of my self ship AU.

Lore stuff under the cut because this is one of my more developed AUs despite it not being canon to my main AU at all lmao.

Quickie recap of the premise to my AU bc I don't remember if I ever posted it to this blog. Basically when Maruki is researching cognitive pscience pre-P5, he gets access to the Shadow Ops' files of the multiple incidents in Inaba (P4 + Arena/Ultimax) and learns about Jay basically being displaced from their own timeline to This Side via Nyarly, causing him to add multiverse theory to his cognitive pscience studies. P5's story happens, as does P5R's 3rd semester, but in this scenario Maruki is able to win against the Phantom Thieves, merge the worlds + take control over the world as its new god of control (Rip Yaldy lmao), and seal the Phantom Thieves away until he can figure out how to convert them to the new world despite their renewed wills making them immune to Maruki's distortions. In the meantime, to say thanks to Jay for indirectly helping him bring his idea of happiness to the world, he distorts the world again to allow Jay to fulfill their wish to have been born in this timeline, meet Adachi and the rest of the Investigstion Team (IT) sooner, yada yada a bunch of other sappy stuff. To make an even longer story short, Jay and all of the people they have a very strong connection with (Adachi, Dojima, the IT, and surprise guest: my familial OC F/O Skylar) are turned back into highschoolers and all attend Shujin, where Maruki can watch over them (out of fear that they might react like the Phantom Thieves did if they ever find out the truth.) Because of these distortions, pretty much everyone from P4 and P3 had their entire lives changed and are living in completely different scenarios. Philemon tasks Jay and Narukami with returning their friends' memories to them, slapping some sense into Maruki, and restoring the world to the state it should be in.

Nanako is one of the people affected by Maruki's distortions. In my AU, Dojima becomes a member of the IT and thusly is also affected and turned back into a teenager alongside everyone else in the party. Because I'm not completely insane, Dojima and Chisato will not have Nanako while he's like 17/18 during the AU's story. Chisato is still Nanako's mother, but marries Shinya Oda's father instead of Dojima. Her mom still dies while Nanako is young, but Oda remarries to Shinya's canon birthmom. Due to her new circumstances, instead of being under the Justice Arcana, she is now under of the Tower Arcana. Her Social Link/Confidant still deals with her independence, but has a bigger focus on her want to be a good sister and set a good example for Shinya to follow.

As for the design itself, she's a bit more rebellious than canon Nanako and tends to be a bit of a rule breaker, especially when Shinya isn't around. She's got a very strained relationship with her parents, especially her stepmother, and is pretty attention starved as a result. So she acts out to get some kind of attention. I tried to make her design reflect this. She's in her last year of middle school, so she obviously wears her school uniform. But she breaks dress code by not wearing the right jacket, incorrectly wearing the shirt, and adds an extra t-shirt to the outfit. I styled the jacket, bow, socks, and shoes to resemble her clothes in canon. I also made her wear her hair differently. A lopsided short ponytail felt like it look both cute and give the impression of being a young child's attempt to dress more like a delinquent lol. Plus it has a sporty vibe, somewhat inspired by Nanako's model in the P5 beta leak using a lacrosse stick as a weapon. I didn't want her new rebellious nature to be outright in front of your face, plus she still needs to be somewhat presentable/socially acceptable to be that good example for Shinya, so I kept it pretty tame.

[jdgo51]

God Knows Your Secret Struggles

Today's inspiration comes from:

God Knows

by Lisa Whittle

"[God] knows the secrets of every heart." — Psalm 44:21 NLT

"'I call the years from 2015 to 2017 my “worried-sick years,” because those were the years my mother was a caretaker for my father, whose health was inexplicably declining. We knew something was wrong with him, but none of the diagnoses made sense for the severity of his mobility digression. I also knew, cognitively, that I was not his fixer — that worrying myself sick wouldn’t do him or my mother any good. But sometimes we allow worry to boss us, and before we know it, it has infected our own bodies and minds. Worry had bossed me into thinking I had to manage the gravity of my parents’ situation, and, as a result, pulled me into a sickness of its own: with isolation, lack of exercise, and low-grade anxiety, to name a few symptoms.

My parents lived a mostly private struggle of my dad’s unexplained physical illness and my mother’s dutiful insistence to care for him to the detriment of her own health. It was understandable in many ways — they had little money, few resources, and a historically take-charge man in the equation who didn’t want random people taking care of him in a now-vulnerable state. There were no concrete answers about his condition, and the subconscious ingraining in that generation to not ask for help made matters worse. And so, my parents’ struggle continued from months into several years.

Not having enough money to pay their bills, Mom taught art to kids in her home for some minor income, after getting Dad safely situated in front of the TV for a few hours at a time. Between that and social security, it kept them in their home.

But Dad’s heart needed medicine, and these types of health problems don’t come cheap. Purchasing thirty-day supplies of the medication was out of the financial question. So every day, mom would make a trip to the local CVS Pharmacy and purchase just two of his prescription pills at a time for him to keep living. The next day she would go again. And the next day, on repeat.

For two years, Dad’s heart lived off mom’s daily trips to CVS. Two pills, every day for two years. Just enough to get by.

And for two years, Mom’s heart carried the heaviness.

No one on the outside knew about the two-pill-a-day ritual except for the pharmacist and God.

Our money trail often tells the truest tale of our hidden struggles. The mostly homeschool moms who brought their bouncy, eager kids for their weekly art lessons with my mother wouldn’t have known — they were always greeted by the smiling, happy art teacher wearing an apron covered in dried paint. It wasn’t a lie.

Momma was happy because her joy has never been about her circumstances. It’s one of the things she has taught me: there can be moments of happiness and pleasure even with the companion of hardship.

This confuses people when they refuse to honor the both-and of life.

Life is hard and it is also good. They mostly live together. No, the joy Mom had was specific. It was the core belief that despite the struggle, God is not unaware, and thus actively involved in the resolution of that struggle. That life was worthy to continue, even often in the dark. She had gotten used to the dark, quite frankly. Times were difficult for years. She had lived enough to know that God’s ways were not going to be on her timetable or within her understanding. But she also knew trusting Him helped her endure, gain strength where she did not have it, and continue to be hopeful for the future. So that smile for her art students was, indeed, real.

We don’t have to fake optimism when we believe in God’s omniscience. In these places of hidden difficulty, “God knows” becomes a quiet space of breath holding and prayers, where we trust for things like breakthrough, sustaining, and, if we dare, hope. We need God differently in these moments than when we want justice or to move past our past. Those things certainly prove equally in need of His omniscience. But urgency, rawness, and survival mark this particular space.

Life is hard and it is also good. They mostly live together.

Sometimes our lives even depend upon it. Family members with a drug-addicted loved one only really have the hope that God knows their pain over it, that He knows their loved one’s enormous struggle, even, often, that He actually knows where their loved one is, since they haven’t heard from them in months. My friend Jessica hasn’t seen her meth-addicted daughter in a year. Summer came and went, without a word... then fall... and eventually, winter. Her Christmas presents remain unwrapped, waiting for her, if she ever comes to claim them. Spring brought flowers but no contact, and now it’s summer, again, and still nothing. The hope they cling to is that God knows where their daughter is, and He is caring for her in their absence. Many parents cling to this.

The idea of struggle meets us in different places. Some of us have skeletons that have been so carefully kept sleeping we are terrified to do anything to awaken them. The thought that a secret we hold could be outed brings mixed feelings. On one hand, most of us want to break up with whatever is hurting us, but on the other, we want to be left alone with what has become familiar to us.

Familiarity is the kryptonite of growth and often health and healing. It’s an epidemic in safe Christianity. A companion in most unchanged lives. What we know often makes us feel safe and comforted, and that is not automatically bad. There is real benefit to a relationship that makes us feel known, wanted, valued, heard, seen, and loved, no matter what — all of which play into feeling safe. But those desires and the ultimate desire to feel safe is met through God. Only God can bring us lasting comfort. Trying to meet those needs through a secret habit is not only futile, but it is creating another entanglement that can take our reliance off Christ. More than one of us has fallen in love with something that we know good and well is bad for us, but we can’t seem to let it go.

And then some of us struggle with secrets that aren’t about things we have done but things that have happened to us that we desperately do not want. My friend’s daughter has an unexplained illness that they’ve kept mostly quiet, but it keeps the whole family in daily confusion and pain. They are desperate for change. The secret struggle of this group of us is not being comforted by a habit; it is craving any type of comfort or relief. Making sense out of seeming nonsense or worse, cruelty. Wanting to understand how God could have insight into their daily difficulties and not intervene.

I don’t know where you are with your secret struggle, what it is, or how it’s affecting you. But what I do know is that when you find yourself furiously trying to hide or ferociously trying to fix or defend it, it is time to bring it to light.

God’s omniscience allows Him a unique vantage point. He is aware of how deep in you are, how desperate, how much it will require His intervention to dig out — even more than you. So no, you are not alone in it. Someone already knows.

God wants to be our solution, in every way, no matter what our struggle winds up being."'

Excerpted with permission from God Knows by Lisa Whittle, copyright Lisa Whittle.