#but happy late halloween and happy meeting bradley's daughter day!!!

[heartsofminds]

my life is changing every day, in every possible way

“She’s a cranberry,” he exaggerates his pronunciation of the word for extra emphasis, “Has Ocean Spray become a relic around here?” or It's Halloween, Bradley has a precocious eleven-month-old daughter, and he might be in love with her impromptu babysitter.

A/N: soooo here's a halloween thing that i kind of just threw together? i'm OBSESSED with bradley being a girl dad and just love this little girl i came up with (@gretagerwigsmuse knows that we love quincy in this household). anywho, enjoy some poorly written dadley and this super pointless halloween drabble? hope y'all had a good holiday and am sooo looking forward to writing more of this daddy/daughter duo !

“Whatever it is, Bradshaw, you’re not excused this time.” 

Jake Seresin slams his locker shut and shoves his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans. The heel of his boot is kicked up, making a soft “thud” on the hollow metal as he leans his back against it. He crosses his arms to lie in front of his chest and adjusts his watch.

The small wooden bench screwed into the linoleum tile perches Bradley Bradshaw, who sits with his elbows digging into the tops of his thighs and his back aching something awful. He softly grunts before he turns to release some of the pressure there. The resounding crack it makes causes Jake to grimace a little before his face returns to the snarky default position it always seems to have. 

“I’m sorry I’m an adult? And have responsibilities?” Bradley rolls his eyes and traces his index finger around a watermark on the wood next to him. 

He notices his Nalgene water bottle sweating and subconsciously picks it up, using the bottom of his t-shirt to dry the wet spots it left in its wake. Jake and Natasha watch him without his knowledge and share a knowing look with each other, but remain silent. Sometimes it’s hard to determine if Bradley’s behavior is because he’s in a vastly different life stage than they are, or if it’s just a Bradley thing. 

Trying to figure it out makes everyone’s brains hurt so they often just let it be. 

The blonde groans again. “You say it like flying a billion-dollar aircraft every single day isn’t a huge responsibility,” he licks his lips before throwing his head back, “Can you take that huge stick out of your ass for once and let yourself have fun?” 

“I have a baby, shithead. I can’t just stop being a dad to go to a Halloween party.” 

Javy slams his locker shut and prances over to Jake and Natasha. A wrinkle in his eyebrows starts to form as he thinks over Bradley’s statement. He finds himself standing next to Jake; his stance is identical and his bargaining skills are tuned and ready to be used. 

“It’s hardly a party at all, man. It’s a costume, a couple of beers at Pen’s place, and maybe one other bar for like an hour,” he speaks and pats Bradley’s shoulder, “Live a little.” 

Bradley sighs; the puff of air housing a hint of playfulness and a hint of annoyance. He knows he’s already lost and that there is absolutely no way he’s getting out of it this time. And so help him God, he can’t believe he’s thinking this, but maybe what Jake and Javy are saying doesn’t sound like too bad of a plan. 

It would be good for him. It would be good them. It would be good for Quincy, and if any of the parenting magazine articles (that he’s kind of ashamed to have budgeted for paying for the subscriptions, if he’s being honest) had anything to say about it, children thrive when their parents are thriving. 

Besides, Penny and Mav have kinda been on his ass about it. Because yeah, she goes to daycare during the day and yes, she’s technically been around other kids and for sure has had her share of being around adults, but she’s one anxious biting attack away from being kicked out of daycare and all the people Bradley trusts (outside of Miss Charlene at the daycare who is a friend of Penny’s and was his babysitter when he was small) are up in the sky so he’s really running himself dry with options. 

Natasha calls it separation anxiety but Bradley calls it a bond. Which is true, Nat had agreed, but it wasn’t just about Quincy being attached. It was also about Bradley being just as attached, if not more. 

In the eleven months that Quincy Elaine Bradshaw had been on this Earth, Bradley hadn’t left her side for longer than four hours at a time. 

And he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s never really had anyone to call his own before or if it’s a “Papa Bear” thing or if there’s some unexplained biological phenomena that won’t allow him to be away from his daughter without spiraling, but he hardly thinks its a problem. . . .

Except when he leaves on his lunch break to go see her at daycare and she’s in a fit of hysterics whenever his hour break is up and he has to return to work. Or when she’s eleven months old and has never slept by herself in her own room before (which is why his back is so fucked, but he’ll never admit it). Or when she’s biting kids and teachers because she’s so anxious she doesn’t know what to do with herself. 

So, yeah. Maybe it is a problem and maybe the root of it all is guilt. 

He can’t let his daughter out of his sight because he can’t help but feel guilty for raising her the same way he was and giving her a ghost that she never asked for – a parent whose approval she will always seek despite never knowing who that person truly is. 

Something about that makes him feel like he has to make up time for two as a punishment for only being one, and being the one who can’t provide her everything she’ll ever need as a growing girl and eventually as a woman. 

“I don’t know,” he says lamely. He wraps his finger around the loose thread on his t-shirt and pulls it in one fell swoop. 

“Okay, fuck. You need to get out. What do you need?” Natasha pipes up, rolling her eyes before sitting down next to him. 

He raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth to answer but she cuts him off before he can. “What’s it gonna take? Do you need a sitter? A lobotomy? You need to live a little, dude.” 

“Well, we know the sitter’s not the issue. The kid’s cute as shit,” Jake speaks up and Bradley scoffs. 

“She’s so fucking cute,” Javy agrees and Bradley has to hide his grin despite being annoyed. 

He helped make the cutest baby ever. Who wouldn’t be obnoxiously proud about that? 

“Absolutely adorable. People are lining up to babysit her,” Reuben Fitch interrupts and joins the group of aviators which further puts a pin in Bradley’s desire to decline the invitation. Rueben doesn’t involve himself in Jake or Javy’s bullshit very often, but when he does, it’s evident that the idea isn’t absolutely batshit crazy. 

Bradley gives him a playful middle finger before straightening his posture and coming to the realization that maybe Jake was right for once. 

“Yeah.” Holy fucking shit. “Rueben’s wife would put her in her pocket and take her home if you let her.” 

And the golden rule is that if Bob is game for something, then everyone else should be. So now he really has no excuse to not go out on Halloween night because he has the Southern Californian equivalent of the fucking Pope giving his two cents on to why he needs to go. 

Fuck you, Bob Floyd for always being the voice of reason. 

“See? Everyone agrees. You’re the odd one out so it’s only fair,” Jake taunts again. Everyone around Bradley seems to be shaking their head in agreement to which he realizes that he’s stuck and there’s no way he won’t be in attendance to the group’s Halloween plans. 

“But it’s her first Halloween,” he tries to reason, “I can’t leave her alone on her first one.” 

Javy sighs. “She’s not even gonna remember it. Yeah it’s a holiday but she’s not missing out on much. She doesn’t even have teeth yet.” 

Jake laughs sarcastically. “Q-dawg’s been chompin’ away on all of her little daycare friends. Haven’t you heard?” 

Bradley narrows his eyes. “Fuck you! I thought you left the room when I was on the phone with the daycare.” 

“Her business is our business now, Bradshaw. Aren’t we allowed uncle duties?” Reuben teases. Natasha clears her throat to interrupt him. ���And aunt duties?”  

“Auntie Nat reigns superior and we all know it, but holy shit. She’s biting people? How is she more badass than her dad?” Nat goads and shoves the back of Bradley’s head playfully. She chuckles at how slow his head pops back up and he mocks her laugh and sticks out his tongue at her. 

“Guys, c’mon. I can’t leave her with a sitter on her first Halloween.” Although he knows he sounds silly (and he feels silly saying it, too), his daughter is his best friend in some ways. Despite her not being able to walk yet and only having a vocabulary of a few words, he can’t help but know how deeply he loves her, and how much everything about her matters to him. 

“Then don’t,” Bob says, “Just bring her to Hard Deck for like an hour and then you can run home, meet the sitter, and then meet us wherever else we decide to go.” 

And sometimes Bradley hates how much sense Bob tends to make and wishes that he was wrong. That no, the Hard Deck isn’t a suitable place for a baby, and no, there’s absolutely no way Quincy would keep her cool while being there during one of the busiest nights of the year. 

But he knows it’s a lie because her grandparents are the owners, everyone loves her and fights over having their turn to hold her or even catch a glimpse of a baby smile directed at them, and the fact that Quincy has been to the Hard Deck enough to have developed an affinity for diluted cranberry juice over the Mott’s Tots apple juice sitting in his pantry. 

“Fuck, fine. But you’re finding me a fucking babysitter,” he speaks, pointing a finger between Jake and Natasha before standing up abruptly. He turns on his heel and makes his way toward the door, knowing the only way he can make sense of the predicament he’s put himself in can be solved by seeing his joyous baby girl. 

The sounds of muffled chuckles and shoes squeaking on the ground fill the silence of Bradley’s absence; all of their eyes flitting to each other to decipher if they actually made the most stubborn man alive give into their bidding with minimal effort. 

“Did we just make Rooster. . .cave?” Reuben speaks, his arms coming up to cross in front of his chest. His thumb rolls his wedding band around on his ring finger as he waits for someone else to speak up.

“Huh,” Jake huffs, “I think we did.” 

“So I’m guessing the lobotomy is out of the question,” Mickey ponders out loud, “Y’all better know a damn good babysitter.” 

Natasha and Jake’s eyes widen in realization. They better find a damn good babysitter soon.

Carrying a baby is harder than it looks. 

Bradley swears that his daughter is an eighty-year-old woman trapped in the body of a drooly and overly excitable eleven-month-old.

It's not the worst thing in the world, he figures. 

But God, is she giving his arms a workout from the amount of times she’s tried to contort her small body to get a good look at all the ruckus and excitement going on around her. It’s when Bradley feels a bead of sweat run down the back of his neck that he realizes the costume he’s picked may not have been the smartest move; especially when no one seems to get what he’s supposed to be. 

Secreting sweat by the gallon seems like an unfair exchange to be dressed in what he thinks is the greatest daddy-daughter costume of all time. The flannel shirt he has on and the overwhelmingly hot coveralls to go with it was a good idea in theory (that theory being how frigid the Halloweens he used to spend in northern Virginia were when he was a little kid). 

He finally makes it to the saloon-style doors of the bar and is met with “Thriller” by Michael Jackson playing from the overhead speakers above him. Every surface seems to be decked out in cobwebs and dark purple and neon green spiders, and Quincy stares in awe at all the patrons meddling about around her before making grabby hands at the faux snakes dangling around the jukebox. 

She almost slips out of Bradley’s grasp before being wrangled back to a stable position by her chunky rolled arms. 

“Jesus, girl,” he gasps, swallowing the lump in his throat while Quincy giggles in his face. “You tryna kill me here?” 

“Well look who it is!” Penny’s teasing voice sounds in his ears. 

Quincy’s little eyes catch the figure of her faux grandma and she begins to squeal in her father’s ear before reaching her arms as far out as they can go; reaching and moving so frantically it looks as if she’s attempting to swim in midair. 

Penny moves closer to them and raises her eyebrows. Her arms instinctively reach out and she grabs Quincy from Bradley. Her fingers trace the burgundy felt of her costume before she tickles the baby. Quincy erupts in a fit of laughs. 

“What has your crazy daddy got you dressed as?” she teases, her elbow coming out to knock Bradley in his ribs playfully. “Are you an. . .apple?” 

Bradley huffs and rolls his eyes. His gaze instinctively lands on his daughter who clasps her hands on Penny’s face and traces her chubby (and insanely sticky) baby fingers across her red lips. She puckers her lips and chuckles to herself at Quincy’s amazement of red lipstick. 

“She’s a cranberry,” he exaggerates his pronunciation of the word for extra emphasis, “Has Ocean Spray become a relic around here?” 

Penny’s eyes flicker between Bradley and the baby she holds in her arms. The splotchy rosy cheeks and honeyed hazel eyes tells the tale of twins, and she’s reminded of the little boy she used to casually see around Fightertown all those years ago dressed in different variants of the same dinosaur on Halloween. 

“Sweetheart, you’re saying it like it was the most obvious thing in the world,” she starts, simultaneously giving her attention to Quincy and the million and one different things going on around her, “I almost thought she was one of the cement balls outside of Target but realized the red was too dark.” 

He groans, his eyebrows furrowing together and a slight scowl forming on his face. Penny’s heart is warmed because his daughter has a propensity to make the same face when she’s frustrated. 

A beat absent of dialouge passes. Hoots and hollers fill the silence as well as strangers stopping by to coo at Quincy before being on their way to the pool table of their desire. Quincy babbles and talks as if she’s a lawyer prosecuting a case and Bradley’s heart softens at how animated she is. 

Her awkward tongue pushes out more saliva than what would be socially acceptable and the drool begins to gather on her face. He reaches out and wipes her mouth with the sleeve of his flannel while she flops like a dead fish away from the makeshift napkin in protest. 

God, this girl is so dramatic. 

“I handmade it,” he says softly. He runs a dry part of his sleeve across her lips more firmly to ensure he had gotten all the wetness. 

Penny hums in acknowledgement. “And you did good.” 

And he doesn’t know why he’s expecting it; why he’s waiting on Penny (of all people) to see him picking a scab and rub more salt in the wound. He knows that she would never do that and he knows that most of the people (if not all of the people who he considers close to him) see him that way. He knows that people know he’s trying his best and that he’s doing everything he can. 

Bradley knows but he just can’t make himself feel it, and he can never figure out why. 

Maybe it’s because he’s a single dad. Maybe it’s because he’s a single dad without a “real” mom or dad to show him the way. Maybe it’s because he’s finally gotten used to having someone around who relies on him and needs him and loves him unconditionally, and he’s terrified of doing something that will make her sit on a couch in a therapist office and say the words that he’s trying his best to avoid: “My dad doesn’t love me enough.” 

Bradley knows what it feels like to not be loved enough. Bradley knows what it feels like to not be liked enough. But Bradley doesn’t know what it feels like to not try hard enough, and that is something he is determined to never stop doing when it comes to his baby. 

“You’re saying it like I didn’t though.” 

Penny’s face falls and she shifts her gaze from Bradley’s daughter to him. 

“Oh, Bradley,” she sighs, her open palm coming up to cup his face, “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re an amazing dad and you’re doing a fantastic job.” 

He grabs her hand with his and gives her a weak smile in return. 

“Doesn’t feel like it, though.” 

He’s usually not one for feeling sorry for himself. He’s never been too keen on throwing pity parties and inviting everyone he knows to them, and in all actuality, he doesn’t know why this bid for reassurance that he’s serving Penny is even coming up. 

“No. Stop it. No,” she playfully chides, tickling Quincy to make her erupt into a ball of silent baby chuckles. “You’re an amazing dad and everyone knows it. You’re her world and that’s all that matters.” 

Bradley opens his mouth to respond but can’t find the words to accept her compliment. He simply nods his head before the already loud noise of the bar is split by an even louder whistle. 

His neck cranes around to see his group of friends waving him over to the pool table and the anchored weight of doom starts to sink in his stomach. He remains frozen with his hands in his pockets and his body emitting heat from his personal heater of rubber waders. He feels like a seven year old at the park again; his mother standing before him and wordlessly encouraging him to go play and make friends. 

The high pitched scream of his daughter is heard as Maverick approaches. Both Penny and Bradley wince more and watch as his daughter mindlessly babbles and almost flies out of Penny’s grasp in favor of him. 

Pete smiles to himself before grabbing her from Penny. She rolls her eyes at him and he playfully sticks out his tongue. 

“Like father, like daughter,” he says, “M’never not a Bradshaw kid’s favorite.” Quincy sticks her chubby fingers near Maverick’s mouth and squeals as he pretends to bite them. 

“Did the past fifteen years just. . .not happen?” Bradley quips. In the past, the snarky comment would have made Maverick freeze on the spot but since they’ve repaired their relationship, (and Quincy’s frequent stays at Nana Pen and Papa Mav’s on the weekends) the insult rolls off Maverick’s shoulders into oblivion. 

“You’re making fun of the old timer, but I’ve been havin’ myself a grand ole time and you’re in the corner pouting like you’re in timeout,” he comments back, “Don’t you have friends or something?” 

“I’m just – taking my time to get over there.” They all look as Jake lets out an obnoxiously loud holler after hitting the eight ball into the pocket to win his pool game. “M’trying to choose joy tonight.” 

“And choosing bad costumes too.” Maverick holds his granddaughter out in front of him to get a full fledged look at her costume. She kicks her legs in the air gleefully before he pulls her back to his chest. “Who makes their kid the…Target balls?” 

Bradley lets out a groan and rubs at his temples. “Oh my God! She’s a cranberry!” 

“Love you to pieces, kid but I think you need your vision checked. You can’t put a kid inside a red sphere and call it a cranberry,” his finger comes out to poke his granddaughter and he’s met with a giggle, “A quack doesn’t always mean duck.” 

“Aren’t you, like, 5’4 –” 

Penny interrupts the conversation with her hands and quickly grabs Quincy from Maverick’s hold. He flashes her a small pout and is met with the ice cold glare of his girlfriend. 

“Bradley, go talk to your friends, babe. We’ll bring her over in a second,” she says, squeezing Pete’s bicep to drag him with her to the bar. 

“But –” they both begin to complain in unison. Penny gives them a pointed look that immediately shuts them both up. 

“Let’s go get some cranberry juice! How does that sound?” she asks Quincy who begins to smile and clap her hands in approval. Penny turns on her heel to head to the back while Maverick stands frozen in front of his nephew. 

“Do you really think I’m only 5’4?” he meekly asks, genuine concern covering his face. 

Bradley shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. The paper  “Ocean Spray” label he’s taped onto his waders bends and he mentally cringes at the crease he knows will probably be there. 

“I mean, sometimes when you turn to the side it’s hard to imagine that you’re actually 5’7.” 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“I said, let’s go get some juice!” Penny’s yells, annoyance dripping off her tone. Maverick claps Bradley on the shoulder before retreating to go accompany Penny in getting Quincy copious amounts of diluted cranberry juice. 

With Maverick’s departure, Bradley realizes that he actually has to go interact with his friends. After all, they’re the reason that he’s here. But when he takes in the swell and dip of the loudness that is contingent on the World Series playing on the televisions around him, he wonders if he’s made the wrong choice tonight. 

He imagines that he would’ve taken Quincy up the street to trick or treat at a few houses before her impatience and curiosity made her lose interest in the activity. They would have abandoned trick or treating and ended up on the couch where she would be cuddled up beside him with her feet tucked somewhere in between his ribs (because she seems to have a talent for finding the most tender spots on his body to lay) and stroking the tip of his mustache with her perpetually sticky fingers as she begins to doze off. They would be probably watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown before her bedtime came, and she would be read three books, tucked in, and off to sleep before he caved and pulled her from her crib and let her sleep with him in his bed. 

While it’s mundane and certainly not what he would have considered the epitome of “fun” even two years ago, he feels a weird ache in his chest knowing that he’s missing out on that reality. But he has to snap out of it if he doesn’t want to be miserable and ruin everyone’s night. 

Besides, Jake and Nat promised him free drinks all night and they already found him a babysitter and paid her for him. He’s in too deep to back out now.

Bradley takes a deep breath before approaching his friends and tries to ignore the ringing in his ears as Jake and Mickey scream as the Texas Rangers score their first homerun of the game. 

“Look who finally decided to show up!” Reuben teases, forcing a beer into his hand that had been on standby until Bradley’s arrival. 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get too excited,” he deadpans before moving around the group and telling everyone hello. 

He’s met with joy and little jabs about graduating to “old timer” status that he playfully ignores. Bradley knows that they’re all just joking with him and that they mean no harm by their comments. Even he’s slightly surprised that he went through with coming out tonight; not to mention coming out while wearing a costume. 

His eyes catch Jake slyly handing over a twenty dollar bill to Javy accompanied by a middle finger before he turns his attention to Bradley. 

He can already sense the half-assed greeting he’s about to get from him before Jake even begins to speak. 

“Got a lot of questions for you but I’ll start with this one,” Jake begins and Bradley rolls his eyes before he finishes his statement, “What the fuck are you supposed to be?” 

He groans before pointing to the crumpled “Ocean Spray” label taped to his front. “Fucking Christ. Does no one know where the fuck cranberry juice comes from?” 

Jake laughs before taking a long swig of his beer. His ridiculous belt buckle and cowboy boots tell Bradley exactly what he’s supposed to be. Well, that and the fact that for as long as he’s known Jake, he’s always the same thing every year for Halloween. 

Leave the Texan to always be a cowboy. 

“My first guess was one of the guys from “Deadliest Catch” but since you wanna be a diva about it. . .I’ll just pretend like the Ocean Spray farmer was beyond fuckin’ obvious” he takes a long swig from the beer bottle he has in his hand, “But that’s not important. Where’s our girl?”

Bradley sighs and looks around near the back of the bar where he knows his baby is being given the spotlight by all the older Hard Deck patrons that can’t believe that, “Little Bradley Bradshaw has a baby now!” He’s known that he’s always had a knack for attention, but his daughter lives for the limelight. He’s never known anyone in his life to be so incredibly outgoing, nevermind the fact that Quincy is already the life of the party and she can’t even speak coherently yet. 

“Pen and Mav took her to get cranberry juice,” he emphasizes the word and Jake rolls his eyes at him this time instead of the reverse, “They’re gonna bring her by in a bit.” 

Natasha makes her way over to the two men; extra smiley and smelling like she had bathed in tequila. Natasha always parties hard but never lets it keep her down. Her ability to drink liquor like a fish and be perfectly fine the next morning has always been a mystery to Bradley. She’s called Phoenix for a reason, he knows. 

“Bradley!” she cheers. Her dark hair is hidden by a copper colored wig and he almost wouldn’t recognize her if he hadn’t known her face so well. The green eye makeup and the plastic vines wrapped around her shoulders and legs cue him into the fact that she’s dressed up as Poison Ivy.  

“Hey!” he cheers back, matching her enthusiasm. 

“You’re the fisher guys from “Deadliest Catch”! That’s so clever!” 

Bradley’s face drops and Jake begins to lose his composure beside him. Natasha’s eyes immediately soften with worry and she starts to search for the words to profusely apologize. 

“No I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings! I swear it! I was just – I thought — I think that it’s really cool and the overall thingies look great on you! I’m so sorry,” she word vomits and Jake continues to laugh hysterically. 

“Nat, it’s okay. I’m not mad,” he speaks gently, “Just calm down a little.” 

She takes a deep breath and Bradley can physically see her brain wipe the incident away as if it had never happened. He’s been her best friend for years and knows what she looks like when she’s close to being black out drunk. There’s maybe a thirty-five percent chance she even remembers this interaction at all. She blinks blankly at him before getting distracted by the baseball game and almost topples over with how fast she turned her head. 

Jake lightly smacks Bradley’s chest with the back of his hand. “I’m gonna go grab her a water. You want anything?” he asks, gently. He doesn’t want Natasha to overhear him because they both know that she’ll refuse his help no matter what state she’s in. 

He shakes his head “no” before hearing the clunk of his boots carrying him to the bar, leaving him and Natsaha alone in the pocket of the bar that their friend group has claimed as their own.

Natasha’s eyes follow Jake’s path to the bar and Bradley has to hide his grin and hold his tongue to not set her off while she’s so vulnerable. Natasha has always been the tiniest bit sweet on Jake but is too stubborn to admit it. Even with all the logical circuits in her brain turned off, she refuses to let herself ponder on this fact for longer than a few seconds. She catches herself staring at the blonde in a half-assed Halloween costume before she returns her attention to Bradley. 

And just as expected, she changes the subject as if their earlier conversation had never even happened. 

“Where’s Quincy Wincey?” she asks and Bradley chuckles. 

Even with no coherent thoughts in mind, Natasha still loves his daughter and wants nothing more than to see her. 

“She’s behind the bar with Pen and Mav. She’ll be here shortly.” 

Natasha nods before opening her mouth again. “You know, you’re a great dad, B.” 

Her sudden revelation takes the words out of Bradley’s mouth. He’s known Natasha Trace for nearly fifteen years and he has never known her to give out genuine compliments half-assed. He has half the mind to ask her what she means by it, but knows that it’s no use given the state she’s in. 

All that matters is that she really means it, so he settles for a simple “Thank you” instead. 

Jake announces his return by forcing a cup of ice water into Natasha’s hand which she gripes about but begins to drink anyway. 

“Your daughter’s back there chummin’ it up, by the way,” Jake states simply and Bradley pauses. 

“What do you mean?” His hands come out to rest on his hips. 

“Well, for starters,” he begins, unwrapping a toothpick and putting it in his mouth, “She’s got people handing her candy and peanuts into a little paper bag. She’s being pretty efficient about it if I say so myself. Had half the mind to grab her from Mav while I was up there cause I wanna see her, but I didn’t wanna get in the way of her business efforts.” 

“She’s what?” 

“Paper bag. Candy. Peanuts,” Jake lists, “C’mon, man. Keep up!” 

Bradley stalks toward the bar to go get his daughter. He’s not angry, in any sense of the word, but kind of disappointed given that she’s technically trick or treating for the first time and he’s not there to witness it. Part of him is starting to feel restless at his lack of interaction with her and wants her back in his arms immediately. 

“Hey, don’t insert yourself in her business endeavors! Be happy your daughter is likable. We all know she doesn’t get it from you,” Jake shouts before returning his attention to the World Series playing out in front of him. 

By the time Bradley arrives to the bar top, he takes note of exactly what Jake had seen upon his visit. There is his daughter with ruddy cheeks and a toothy grin absolutely hamming up her cuteness at some captains and their wives with Maverick holding her up so she can stand semi-confidently on the table. Her little fist holds a brown paper bag that Penny uses for her peanuts and is full with candy and crinkled due to her lack of a proper graspar reflex. 

His daughter is a world class charmer and she has an equally charming grandpa to help her do her bidding. 

“Bradley!” Maverick cheers, turning Quincy his direction so that she can have eyes on her dad. 

Like magic, she abandons the little bag she was holding in favor of the arms of her father. He grabs her without hesitation and she glues herself to his side as if it’s her permanent position. 

“You better not be making my baby a con artist, Mav,” he weakly threatens. He coos at Quincy and marvels in the way she lays her head on his shoulder. 

“Hardly. She’s a people magnet, kid. Everyone would be happy to do anything she wanted them to do.” 

Bradley sighs, knowing that he’s missed one of her milestones. This is the price he’ll have to pay forever with being a more than single parent with the kind of job he has. He swallows the disappointment down and saves it for later. He knows that it’ll come up another time anyway, so why even bother with addressing it now? 

“You’re treating my kid like a Kennedy, Mav. Don’t get any ideas on how to sneak her onto base to get you out of trouble.” 

Pete laughs and holds up his hands in defeat. “Can’t make any promises,” he simply says, “Don’t you have to go meet the sitter soon?” 

Bradley groans at the gentle reminder his uncle is giving him. Maverick doesn’t know what it’s like to be a parent in the slightest, but he knows what good parenting looks like. He had seen it with Goose and how much he had cared for Bradley in the very short amount of time he was given, there’s no doubt in his mind that Bradley is the best dad that Quincy could ever ask for. 

But what he also knows is how perfectionistic and borderline obsessive his nephew can be. He deserves a break and a break Maverick knows will be spent in good company with people who love him. 

Bradley deserves this, and he knows that Mav’s gentle reminder is more of an order telling him to be kind to himself. 

He looks down at his watch and sees the little hand inching towards the eight. “Yeah. We need to get going.” 

Pete leans over and gives Quincy a kiss on the head as a “goodbye” before shoving the paper bag of candy into her father’s hand. 

He closes his hand around Bradley’s fist and gives it a firm shake. “Have fun tonight. You deserve it.” 

Bradley nods before bidding goodbye to Penny who is beyond excited at the idea of Bradley finally going out, baby free, for the first time since he found out he was going to be a father. 

And when his daughter incoherently hums along to “The Girl is Mine” by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney in the backseat, Bradley knows how hard leaving her alone tonight is truly going to be. 

She shouts at him which he knows is her trying to get his attention to sing along with her. 

“You ready, babe?” he asks, eyes flitting up to peek at her in his rearview mirror, “Because, the doggone girl is mine.” 

Quincy bursts into a fit of baby giggles as he tries to ignore the feeling of impending doom brewing in his chest. He grabs a piece of chalky bubble gum from her candy bag and pops it in his mouth. He cringes as he chews. 

Who the fuck gives gum to a baby? 

Bradley doesn’t know why his heart is pounding out of his chest. 

He knows that he’ll only be gone for two hours maximum and that Quincy will probably sleep the entire time anyway. She may be precocious and charming, but she loves bedtime more than anything, and from the active night she’s had, he’d be surprised if she even made it fifteen minutes before passing out somewhere on the living room floor. 

He trusts Natasha’s judgement (and Jake’s, he’ll begrudantly admit) and he knows the sitter they found for him is nothing less than amazing. You’re a childhood friend of Natasha’s that had recently moved to the area and had been Jake’s date one time to the Navy Ball six years ago (which he had learned from an Instagram post dated from 2017). 

And Bradley will say he doesn’t know much about you (outside of his deep dive stalk that he had done days before, but that remains beside the point, he thinks) but that would be a big fat lie. He feels a little pathetic to admit that he had created a faux LinkedIn profile to be able to look you up and see your credentials as well as finding every mutual follower you had amassed between Natasha, Jake, Javy, and Bob. 

And it’s a little creepy, he admits, but he’s only just looking out for the safety of his daughter! Just because you know his friends doesn’t mean that he knows you (which he knows is wildly untrue given the overwhelming amount of Internet stalking he had done on you in the past week). 

Bradley is burning a hole into his living room floor by pacing back and forth with his daughter in his arms. As anticipated, she’s started to doze off and he chuckles to himself. Quincy loves bedtime and that remains uncontested by the way her little lips are pursed and she lets out light snores. 

The sound of a car door opening and shutting keys him into being aware of your presence and he scares you half to death because he opens the door before you can knock; your knuckles almost coming into contact with his chin had you not been paying attention. 

“Oh,” you mummer, “Ummm. You’re Bradley, right?” 

And you’ve never felt as dumb as you do now because of course he’s Bradley. You know what he looks like and the baby asleep on his shoulder and the last name “Bradshaw” printed on the doormat outside should be enough for you to deductively reason that that’s him right in front of you. 

Not to mention, you’ve been Internet stalking him and know what he looks like for a fact because of the amount of photos Natasha has of him on her Instagram and in her story highlights. You had always found him attractive whenever your eyes graced those pictures, but that’s all it was; a fleeting thought that was never watered and was gone as soon as it was there. 

But now that he’s in front of you, now that you’re getting a really good look at him holding a precious baby on his hip and somehow making rubber waders look amazing, your mouth starts to get dry and your heartbeat starts to quicken. 

“You must be the sitter,” he declares and he mentally kicks himself for how cold he’s coming off. His nerves have a tendency to put him into fight or flight and the pressure of being in your presence merely adds to that. 

He clears his throat when he notices your lips forming a thin line and rejection teeming from your body language. 

Fuck. Why do I always do this? 

“Oh! Uh – Come in,” he steps aside and closes the door behind you as you walk in. 

From what you know about Bradley, you know that he’s a single dad who had a less than stellar record for wanting female companionship. When Nat would come to Williamsburg to visit you all those years ago when you were fresh out of undergrad and working as a TA, barely scraping enough money to pay your rent, she would lay on your floor and crone about how she had a friend who never seemed to be able to keep a girlfriend. 

But he was amazing, she would insist, and he’s such an awesome person, she would say. Somehow though, Bradley always seemed to be heartbroken and searching for the next way to smash what little he had left of it into unsalvageable pieces. 

Even though that was close to a decade ago, you know that the fact remains true when you peer across the pictures in his living room. Photos of a blonde couple and a dark haird little boy that you know are his parents. Photos of him with the infamous and insane Maverick. Photos of him with his daughter, but no photos of him and his daughter’s mother; let alone a girlfriend of any kind. 

“So she’ll probably sleep the entire time. Don’t put her in her crib because she’ll scream bloody murder and not calm down for a long time so you’re free to keep her on the couch or put her in my bed,” he lays her down in the corner of his couch and puts the large blanket laying there on her lower half, “She’s allergic to strawberries but I don’t think she’s gonna be eating anything while you’re here and I don’t have strawberries in the house.” 

He pauses, wracking his brain for more information to tell you that wouldn’t just be him retelling his daughter’s entire life story. “Oh! This is kind of weird, but if she wakes up and won’t go back to sleep, just play “The Girl is Mine” –” 

“The Paul McCartney song?” you question. Your eyes search his face and are full of amusement. He can’t help but feel his chest flutter at the little glimmer they give off. 

Focus. You can’t flirt with the babysitter. What’s wrong with you? 

“Well, it’s Michael Jackson’s song featuring Paul McCartney but yeah. It usually calms her right down and she’ll settle enough to doze back off.”  

He knows that his daughter is more than quirky. Sometimes he settles for the word “particular,” but he knows quirky is the right one to use. 

You start to laugh a little. “That’s so –” 

“Weird?” he inserts, “Yeah, I know. I’m raising a sixty-year-old but there could be worse songs. Be grateful she’s phased out of only wanting to listen to “Break Free” because there’s nothing worse than listening to EDM on a loop at three AM because she won’t fall asleep unless it’s playing.” 

You shake your head and agree. “Well, I promise that we’ll behave ourselves and not get into anything too crazy. She’s adorable, you know, so if she asks, I don’t know if I can stand it to say no.”

You can’t flirt with her dad. You can’t be the babysitter that’s trying to get banged by the dad. What’s wrong with you? 

He chuckles and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’ll see to that. Her sitter is pretty cute too so I think I’d be pretty forgiving.” 

And fuck. Is he, is he flirting with you? 

You’re left speechless before his phone rings and he rolls his eyes before grabbing it off the entryway table. 

“Hang on a sec,” he says before swiping across the screen to answer. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Jake. I’m on the way.” 

He grabs his keys and starts heading toward the door, his cell phone wedged between his shoulder and ear and you have to stop yourself from drooling. “Calm the fuck down, dude. I’m leaving like right now. . .Yes, I’m literally walking out the door – Can you chill? I’ll be there when I get there?” 

He bids you goodbye with a simple wave before shutting the door and running to his car. The sound of the front door closing instantly wakes Quincy who shoots her head up and frantically swivels it around in pursuit of her father. When she can’t spot him, her bottom lip droops and starts to wobble. 

He bids you goodbye with a simple wave before shutting the door and running to his car. The sound of the front door closing instantly wakes Quincy who shoots her head up and frantically swivels it around in pursuit of her father. When she can’t spot him, her bottom lip droops and starts to wobble. 

She spots you and immediately lifts her arms up, telling you that she wants to be held. You graciously comply and coo softly to her and marvel in the way she instantly koalas to your side as if she had always had a spot there and had always known you. 

Part of you thinks that it’s fate. That in some way, you’re meant to be in her life and meant to stick around but you know that this silly schoolgirl thinking will only get your heart smashed to pieces. You decide to ignore it. 

Besides, Natasha would kill you if you ever expressed to her how hot you found her other best friend. 

Some things just aren’t meant to be. 

Bradley jogs into the next bar that his friends had decided to go to with a slight smile on his face. He scans the crowd and spots Jake and Bob trying to hold up a beyond inebriated Natasha. 

“You’re awful happ — Oh dear God. Don’t tell me you screwed the sitter,”  Jake greets and Bob looks away bashfully once the statement leaves Jake’s mouth. 

Bradley mocks him before helping them guide Natasha to a booth. 

“Can you ever just say "hello" like a normal person? Do you always have to be bitchy?” he remarks. 

Jake lets Natasha rest her head on his shoulder and looks down to check on her. “It was just a comment. You know we picked her because we wanna set you guys up, right?” 

Bradley’s world stops. He raises his eyebrows and feels his mouth go dry. 

“You what?” 

“I mean, she’s cute. She’s smart. She loves kids and she obviously didn’t vom on you from getting a look at your face, so I assume it went well,” he starts listing his reasonings on his fingers, “You also bounced in here like you have a can of jumping beans shoved up your ass so you’re giddy about something.” 

Bradley scoffs. “I do not have anything shoved up my a– Why do you care so much about who I’m seeing?” 

Jake looks at Bob who starts to shrink a little in his seat. He instantly knows that the set up wasn’t all just Jake and Nat. It was probably the entire squadron. 

“We want you to be happy, dude. I mean, this is a good opportunity for you and for Quincy,” Bob starts and Bradley knows that he needs to listen and take it into actual consideration if he knows what’s good for him. 

Jake and Natasha are class A meddlers, but everyone else getting involved shows how much this matters to him.

“You’re doing great and I know for a fact I’m not half the man you are, but you also gotta cut yourself some slack. You have to let yourself be happy, too. Life isn’t all just about sacrifice, you know?” 

“And we made a reservation for you both at that one rooftop restaurant downtown. There’s a $250 cancellation fee so you kinda have to go,” Jake adds and Bob facepalms himself at their friend’s lack of tact. 

“You did what?” 

“Also she thinks you’re hot. She texted Nat about you ten minutes ago and she’s way too drunk to respond so we did for her and as of now, “He totes thinks you’re hot too. Make a move when he gets back.”” 

Bradley’s mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to say. 

“Thank us when you’re getting us together about the proposal.” 

There’s something about the way that life flashes before your eyes and there’s never anything you can do about it. 

You can take photos or collect trivial keepsakes. You can talk about the events in past tense and have the story change slightly every single time the words leave your mouth. You can dream about it in watercolor memory and try to make sense of it all. 

But no one ever tells you what it means when you’re standing before your daughter, a dark haired beauty with such elegance and spunk that it’s impossible to put a label on it, as she embarks on a journey to truly be her own person. 

No one ever tells you how to cry so you don’t smudge your mascara. No one ever tells you the hole in your heart this day will give you but the rainbow of joy that supersedes it when it’s all said and done. No one ever tells you how all the times she had a nightmare or scraped her knees or needed you sit at the forefront of your brain. 

And when you stand before your daughter dressed in a white dress and getting married to the love of her life, you can’t help but recall the night that you fell in love with her and remember the little baby she was all those years ago. 

So around all the orchids and wedding guests and happy tears, you settle to retell this moment in the only way you know how. 

“The first time I met my daughter, she was dressed as a cranberry.” 

And somehow, that statement is all you need to explain the love between the two of you. 

[filmaficionerdo]

Best Films of 2018

Best Films of 2018

2018 was not the year for prestige pictures by a long shot.  Film this year was at its best when it came to superhero movies, and as much as I prefer those over most any other entertainment, that shouldn’t be the case, and that’s not what got me into film in the first place.  As happy as I am to see my favorite comic book characters come to life, I got into film because of daring, bold, and outspoken artists who didn’t need a franchise to speak their minds.  Too many mid-range films went to Netflix or other streaming services and they’re mostly of poor quality with a few exceptions.  I miss the days when film studios took risks, but now they only look for the largest IP with the largest net-profits.  It’s sad.  I love Marvel movies more than anyone I know but they shouldn’t be the only reason I look forward to going to the theater.  But this year also sparked a personal change for me because I moved away from the movie mecca of Hollywood to mid-Michigan, where there aren’t any arthouse theaters nearby during peak awards season so I missed more films than I would’ve liked (even though it’s been the most emotionally rewarding experience I’ve ever had) so I hope that helps explain why this list is so late.  I’ve been catching up on independent films via online rentals as soon as I can and still have many left unseen.  So maybe I missed something during 2018, but I can’t help but be letdown by the lack of inspiration I look to when I try to experience the medium I’m most passionate about.  With that being said, I was still able to conjure a list of my favorite 25 films of the year.  So, here goes:

25. Halloween

This was way better than I would’ve expected, especially coming from the guys who brought us Your Highness.  Director David Gordon Green and writer Danny (Eastbound & Down) McBride delivered the first worthy Halloween sequel that’s ever existed.  Their updated and timely subversion elevated this homage-y sequel while adding more fun than this franchise has ever seen.  John Carpenter’s contribution and the opening credits sequence hit hard with me.

24. Ready Player One

Haters be damned, I really enjoyed this movie.  Of course, I never read the book so that discredits me somewhat but what I got was a rousing Spielbergian experience that we haven’t witnessed since Minority Report.  If you hate this movie, but you loved Hook, there’s something fundamentally wrong with what you think a Spielberg movie is supposed to be about.  Ready Player One was a toybox of fun ideas and intellectual properties sewn together for a generation hung up on video games and nostalgia.  It’s definitely not his best but I love seeing a veteran director who still has the ability to dust off his old toys and make pretend.  The Shining sequence was an absolute standout of appreciation and love for another director’s craft.  

23. Sorry to Bother You

Boots Riley’s debut was strong and weird as hell.  This felt like Spike Lee meets David Cronenberg.  It’s funny, nuanced, and insightful.  Riley’s new voice was energetic and angry in the best way.  I saw this later in the year than I wanted to, but I have a feeling that repeat viewings will enhance this films relevance and my appreciation.

22. You Were Never Really Here 

Lynne Ramsay is one of the best and most unpredictable working directors today.  I always look forward to her work, but this semi-Taxi Driver remake was remarkably accessible for her and more powerful than it had any right to be.  If you haven’t seen it, seek it out.  It’s a crisp 88 minutes long and it’s riveting as well as heartbreaking.  There was a uniqueness to the short runtime, violence, and poignant urgency that she handled with deftness.  Joauquin Phoenix was remarkable, brute, and subtle all at once.

21. Ant-Man & The Wasp

Go ahead and agree that this wasn’t the strongest Marvel output in a while, but just like the previous Ant-Man, it’s a palette cleanser from a previous Avengers film.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is maybe the most child friendly film they’ve ever released and it was still enjoyable as hell.  It’s not important.  It’s simple fun.  And I love that Marvel still knows how to craft something that doesn’t want or need to reach for the fences.  Sometimes an inside the field hit is just what we need.  Ant-Man & The Wasp is a damn good bunt.

20. The Incredibles 2

Now that I hang out with a toddler on the reg, watching this movie never gets boring.  I’d know, because she’s watched it with me five times.  Incredibles 2 was long overdue and it’s maybe not quite so worthy of such a long wait considering the original was my favorite film of 2004, but its sequel was still full of exceptional animation.  That sequence with Jack Jack and the raccoon still fills me with joy.

19. A Star is Born

Bradley Cooper’s directorial debut was surprisingly strong.  Filming everything in close-ups was an intimate and innovative way to express a rising star’s personal journey to stardom.  Even though we can all agree that the first half of the film is vastly superior to the tear-turkey-jerky second half, it’s still an important film and a worthy update of a timeless classic.  The music, performances, cinematography, and sound are all exceptional.   

18. BlacKkKlansman

Spike Lee felt reborn with BlacKkKlansman.  Do The Right Thing will always be one of the all time greatest films; no question.  BlacKkKlansman might be his best since.  John David Washington just established himself as a commanding lead, and Adam Driver further cemented himself as a phenomenal actor.  The poetic-ness combined with the satirical edginess made this one significantly heartbreaking watch while being entertaining and iconic all at the same time.

17. The Death of Stalin

I saw The Death of Stalin early in 2018 and it never left me.  Writer/Director Armando Iannucci is a certifiable genius and the controversial nature of a film like this was one of the most refreshing voices of the year.  This is one of the darkest political satires I’ve ever seen but it’s so goddamn funny.  Laughing at something so atrocious and maddening is one of the only ways we, as a society, can heal from dark times in history.  I fully believe it takes the power away from the people who committed such heinous crimes.  It takes time and a brilliant voice, but it holds a mirror to the ridiculousness we’re currently subjected to, and hopefully with time, we can make fun of our situation too.

16. Leave No Trace

Debra Granik finally followed up her outstanding Winter’s Bone debut and she did not suffer from the sophomore slump that so many other filmmakers have.  Leave No Trace is the saddest love letter to veterans that I’ve ever seen even though it’s beautiful and full of hope.  Granik definitely should’ve gotten a Best Director nomination this year for her delicate and heartfelt look at a father struggling with PTSD while living with his daughter in the woods, away from society.  Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie are stunning.  This film stayed with me for weeks after I watched it.  It’s a small but hugely important film.

15. Annihilation

Alex Garland previously made his directorial debut with Ex Machina after an incredible script writing filmography.  He’s established himself as one of the smartest and most important voices in science fiction cinema after Annihilation.  This is a heady sci fi film that scared the shit out of me.  I felt uneasy the second the group of women walked into The Shimmer.  Garland adapted the book it’s based on after only reading the book once, but he created something so frighteningly ethereal that it’ll be talked about for years.  The score for this was off the charts good.  Going from an acoustic instrumental to something electronic was what struck me the most as a stroke of genius.

14. Shoplifters

For a film I saw so recently, very few films this year have had such an emotional impact on me.  Shoplifters is a small “family” film from Korean director Hirokazu Kore-eda, but it packs a punch that I wasn’t expecting.  All I knew was that critics loved it and it was up for a Best Foreign Language Oscar.  It’s a powerhouse of social status and what it means to be a family that defies language and cultural relevance.  

13. First Man

First Man hit me hard on a personal level.  I’d sort of written off Damien Chazelle as a director after La La Land underwhelmed me so much, but this film reinvigorated my appreciation in him because the filmmaking here was profoundly beautiful.  The acting is impeccable.  The cinematography was breathtaking.  Seeing this in IMAX (as my last film in LA) was a jaw-dropping cry-fest.  I left the theater shook.  I doubt this film will shake as many as it did me, especially if you missed it in IMAX, but this was the theater experience of the year.  At least recognize that Justin Hurwitz’s musical score was the most overlooked snub at this years Academy Awards.

12. Suspiria

This was another film I’d sorely missed in theaters, but when I finally got a chance to witness it I was blown away.  Luca Guadaninio’s follow-up to my favorite film of last year, Call Me By Your Name, was a worthy successor.  This was less a horror film, and more of an art-house homage to Dario Argento’s original 70s classic.  It’s still a haunting film, but in a beautifully macabre way.  Thom Yorke’s score is absolutely outstanding, as well as the subversively drab look, completely deviating from the originals color saturated visual palette.  It’s a film that has to be watched more than once.  Even though it’s 2.5 hours long, I was completely transfixed the entire time.  It’ll depend on your mood or taste, but if you enjoy artistic, visual, and auditory enhanced horror, Suspiria is among the best. 

11. Mandy

Throw up the horns.  Mandy is here.  Pasmos Cosmatos cerebral horror film is full of the best revenge porn I’ve ever seen.  Nicolas Cage is unhinged (as he should be) in his best performance in ages.  He’s the Cage we’ve been dreaming of since the 90s.  The first half of this film belongs to Andrea Riseborough and underrated character actor Linus Roache, but the second half is all Rage Cage in full gory glory.  Mandy is a film unlike anything you’ve ever seen, but yet somehow it’s still completely accessible.  The title cards for each chapter are something straight out of a Heavy Metal comic book, and the hauntingly beautiful score by the late-genius Jóhann Jóhannsson is simply gorgeous.  Mandy is a film meant to be laughed at and with.  It’s a fever-dream of ideas that work brilliantly as a whole.  It’s a hard one to recommend but if you know, you know.  

10. Eighth Grade

Bo Burnham just burst onto the directorial scene with this film about the awkwardness of being a thirteen year old girl.  Not something you’d expect from a male standup comedian in times like these, especially when it’s handled so delicately and with so much heart, but it feels so important to young kids who’ve been thrown into subjectivity amongst their peers within the digital age.  Eighth Grade can, at times, make you so uncomfortable, and at other times it’ll completely tear your heart out and make you want to hug your dad.  I know, because I saw it in the theater with my dad.  He was like, you’re still the eighth grade girl you’ve always been.  Thanks, dad.  

9. Aquaman

I know there isn’t a ton of hate for this film, but there isn’t a ton of high praise for it either.  Aquaman was exactly the film James Wan set out to make.  It’s one of the most comic book-y films since Age of Ultron except it’s dumb as hell, and for that, I absolutely LOVED it.  This was a throwback comic book film ripped from the pages that was corny as hell and never took itself too seriously.  Aquaman is a damn hard character to adapt so it’s unbelievable that he got this big of a budget that included over-the-top actors like Willem Dafoe and Dolph Lundgren.  Patrick Wilson chews the scenery as Ocean Master and I don’t give a damn what people think of Black Manta; he’s completely awesome.  You could’ve easily cut this film down, but I was happy to live in its oceanic cheesball world for hours.  Aquaman was the comic book movie of the year that was as ridiculous as it was awesome.  I laughed so hard at how stupid it could be, but I couldn’t help but be entertained by how insane it was.

8. Mission: Impossible Fallout

I don’t know how these films keep getting better, but they do.  This was THE action film of 2018.  As much as I love Fast & Furious 5-7, Mission: Impossible 4-6 has been the best run of a long running action franchise ever.  Fallout brought one of the best villains yet in a story that barely makes sense, but I couldn’t care less.  This film was big in that edge-of-your-seat way that rarely comes along.  Thrilling doesn’t begin to describe it.  The IMAX presentation was fantastic.  I live for movies like this.  It harkens back to 80s and 90s action films but presents itself for a whole new era of practical effects extravaganza.  It’s the best action film since Mad Max: Fury Road.

7. Black Panther

There are a lot of people questioning this film’s entry as a Best Picture Nominee, but it absolutely deserves all of the recognition it’s getting.  Ryan Coogler’s Black Panther is both culturally and politically significant as it is cinematically.  This film is a culmination of what Marvel has been growing to.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe isn’t simply about story progression, it’s about cultural progression.  These films represent societal beacons of the times we live in through decades old comic book prisms.  The lore and spirit of the comics are still present, as well as relevant, and the socio-political themes have been injected into them effortlessly.  

A character like Black Panther can be a leader of change within his own cinematic universe.  Marvel’s created something that transcends blockbuster cinema.  Black Panther is now an icon of cultural appreciation that can inspire real change in the real world.  He’s an optimistic embodiment of what we should strive to achieve as a society.  We should share with the world our hope for change.  Comic Book’s have never been so relevant.  Black Panther has never been so important.

6. Roma

Director Alfonso Cuarón’s intimate portrayal of life as a housemaid was one of the most vibrantly affecting films I’ve ever seen.  Every single shot wasn’t just a landscape; it was a mural.  I’ve never seen direction take this angle and provide so much while saying so little.  Some people might’ve felt emotionally disconnected from his style but Cuarón’s masterful direction captivated me like very few films this year had.  There are multiple layers to his visual representation that effect more of what’s seen than what’s said.  It’s not an easy watch and perhaps that’s part of why it was released by Netflix.  Unfortunately, I had to watch this at home instead of in theaters, but I still felt the impact of the themes and presentation.  It’s one of the few Best Picture nominees that truly belong in the category that’ll stand the test of time.  

5. Paddington 2

This was one of the earliest releases of 2018 and it never escaped my mind throughout the year.  Paddington 2 advances upon the original’s tone to encapsulate something that is pure joy.  Paul King directed the bejeezus out of this movie.  I felt like I was watching Wes Anderson meets Harry Potter.  I saw Paddington 2 in theaters with just one mother and daughter couple and it never felt weird.  The only thing that’s weird is that more people haven’t seen this film.  I had a smile from ear to ear the entire time.  This movie is magic.  Like the Harry Potter films, all of the best British actors are present, and Hugh Grand and Brendon Gleeson give their best performances in years, if not ever.  Hugh Grant should’ve been nominated for Best Supporting Actor.  If you haven’t seen this hidden gem yet, do your soul a favor and seek it out immediately.

4. The Favourite

Yorgos Lanthimos is on a roll.  This nutty Greek director began his career with the insane film, Dogtooth, and hasn’t let up since.  But he’s also learned and built from his previous work.  What started as something of a cultish followed career has expanded into prestigious and innovative filmmaking.  I’d nearly missed this film in theaters until I drove across the state to see this with my parents in Ann Arbor, and although it might be one of the worst movies to see with your parental units, we all could agree that this was a uniquely hilarious and thought-provoking experience.  At first, I wasn’t sure what to think because I was too busy trying to avoid talking to my mom and dad about Emma Stone jerking somebody off, but The Favourite stayed with me for weeks and I loved dissecting all of its themes and nuances.  The Favourite is both entertaining and timely.  It’s another one of the films this year that absolutely belong with (and should’ve won) the Best Picture nominations.

3. Widows

Steve McQueen’s Widows was vastly underseen and underrated.  Here’s a director who usually only does vague, cerebral drama, but working with Gillian Flynn as a screenwriter adapting Lynda LaPlante’s 1983 novel about wives finishing the heist their husbands failed to complete before their untimely deaths, is about as pulpy and as timely as you can get.  There are a lot of stories woven into Widows epic crime saga and some critics have faulted the film’s narrative for it, but look at Heat; one of the most prolific crime sagas of all time, which has more subplots than you could imagine, yet it’s still widely regarded as one of the best films ever made.  Widows is the best film of its kind since Heat in 1995.  It still carries the acting heavyweights and still compelled me more than nearly any other film in 2018.

2. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Into the Spider-Verse is one of the few films in 2018 that has the power to influence cinema for the future.  Not only is it extraordinarily entertaining, but it’s also innovative in terms of style and theme.  No other film in 2018 was this inventive and groundbreaking.  I was definitely excited to see this as a lifelong Spider-Man fan, but based on Sony’s mishandling of the character for years, it had me extremely cautious.  Thanks to Phil Lord and Chris Miller’s impeccable screenplay, I got more than the Spider-Man I’ve always wanted to see.  This is a Spider-Man for a new generation.  He’s not my Spider-Man, he never was.  This film is for everyone, and I mean EVERYONE.  The cell-shaded animation and soundtrack elevated this film into bonafide classic territory.  I couldn’t even comprehend it after I first saw it, because I wasn’t ready for something so new.  Months after I watched this film, I could not stop thinking about it.  Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is so nerdy for the fans and so accessible to the newcomers.  It feels like I’m living in an alternate universe where good movies in 2018 DO exist.

1. Avengers: Infinity War

The *Snap* heard ‘round the World...

Marvel has a good history of taking formulas from other genres and using them as a framing device for their superhero films; political thrillers, space operas, video games, heist films are all borrowed ideas that helped them keep the superhero genre from feeling stale. Avengers: Infinity War is Marvel’s fantasy epic. This is the Lord of the Rings of the MCU. The result is legendary. The Russo Bros. looked at their massive roster of heroes, who audiences have come to deeply care for over ten years, and came up with a way to tell one cohesive world-ending story centered around one villain; the mad titan, Thanos. They looked at Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and they saw how well those were balanced, and they applied it to a superhero film. It’s unbelievably well executed. The big reason Infinity War works so cosmically well is Josh Brolin’s portrayal of Thanos. We couldn’t get behind another world-ending event in these movies unless we believed and understood the villain that was behind it all.  Brolin gave Thanos both menace and pathos.  From the moment the movie starts, the stakes feel real. None of the characters are safe because we believe Thanos is capable of anything from the very beginning.  There aren’t many epics where we spend this much time with the villain.  Thankfully, Marvel knows we already care about the heroes, so after building up a ten year rapport between audiences and protagonists it was finally time to focus on the Big Cheese who’s behind all the conflict. This movie is so comic book/fantasy it’s ridiculous.  I loved every second of it and could not wipe the smile off my face nor the tears from my eyes.  I felt like my ten year old self, alone and engrossed in the most epic comic book I’ve ever read.  I was shaken when I left the theater. I turned around and watched it again just 30 minutes after my first viewing, and I couldn’t believe how captivated I was the second time, third time, forth viewing, fifth, sixth, and so on...  Nothing could’ve prepared me for this film and I’m so thankful it exists.

[ferretly]

my 2018 reading list/challenge:

beneath the cut it’s long

(these are all options in each section; i won’t read every book in each section. if anyone has recs for which book i should read tho that would be appreciated!!)

a book made into a movie you’ve already seen

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Misery by Stephen King

Holes by Lois Sachar

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

true crime

No Place Safe by Kim Reid

The 57 Bus by Dashka Slater

the next book in a series you started

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore

Twenty Years After by Alexandre Dumas

Fearless by Cornelia Funke

Among the Free by Margaret Peterson Haddix

Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

Through the Ever Night by Veronica Rossi

UnSouled by Neal Shusterman

a book involving a heist

White Cat by Holly Black

American Gods by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

nordic noir

October is the Coldest Month by Christoffer Carlsson

a novel based on a real person

Crank by Ellen Hopkins

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

a book set in a country that fascinates you

Ogniem i Mieczem by Henryk Sienkiewicz

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski

a book with the time of day in the title

Dawn by Octavia E. Butler

Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George

The Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson

a book about a villain or antihero

Battle Royale by Koushun Takami

Feast of Souls by C.S. Friedman

a book about death or grief

The Way We Fall by Megan Crewe

Sanctum by Sarah Fine

The Everafter by Amy Huntley

Ferryman by Claire McFall

Beauty of the Broken by Tawni Waters

a book with a female author who uses a male pseudonym

Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb

Fool’s Errand by Robin Hobb

Her Smoke Rose Up Forever by James Tiptree

a book with an LGBT protagonist

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older

a book that is also a stage play or musical

Matilda by Roald Dahl

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Elliot

a book by an author of a different ethnicity than you

Dawn by Octavia E. Butler (Black)

Fledgeling by Octavia E. Butler (Black)

Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler (Black)

Wild Seed by Octavia E. Butler (Black)

The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu (Chinese-American)

Shadowshaper by Daniel Jose Older (Afro-Latino)

A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki (Japanese-American)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alaire Saenz (Latino)

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera (Latino)

The Education of Margot Sanchez by Lilliam Silvera (Latina)

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (Black)

a book about feminism

Embroideries by Marjane Satrapi

a book about mental health

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

a book you borrowed or that was given to you as a gift

Accessible Gardening for People with Disabilities: A Guide to Methods, Tools, and Plants by Janeen R. Adil

Women of Valor: Polish Resisters to the Third Reich by Joanne D. Gilbert

Tarot: Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis

Fairest by Marissa Meyer

Poles in Wisconsin by Susan Gibson Mikos

Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain by Oliver Sacks

a book by two authors:

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

a book about or involving a sport

Wing Jones by Katherine Webber

Openly Straight by Bill Koningsberg

Finding the Edge: My Life on the Ice by Karen Chen

a book by a local author

The Girl who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu

a book with your favorite color in the title

The Red Chamber by Pauline A. Chen

Redheart by Jackie Gamber

Silvered by Tanya Huff

Green by Jay Larke

Red Branch by Morgan Llywelyn

Iron Hearted Violet by Kelly Barnhill

Scarlet by A.C. Gaughen

Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

After the Red Rain by Barry Lyga

The Golden Day by Ursula Dubosarsky

The Golden Mare, the Firebird, and the Magic Ring by Ruth Sanderson

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson

a book with alliteration in the title

Rain Reign by Ann M. Martin

Tiger Burning Bright by Marion Zimmer Bradley

A Study in Scarlet by Arthur Conan Doyle

Pawn of Prophecy by David Eddings

Flesh and Fire by Laura Anne Gilman

Stray Souls by Kate Griffin

Fox Forever by Mary E. Pearson

Krik? Krak! by Edwidge Danticat

a book about time travel

Life After Life by Kate Atkinson

Spin by Robert Charles Wilson

The False Princess by Ellis O’Neal

Passenger by Alexandra Bracken

Dreamhunter by Elizabeth Knox

a book with a weather element in the title

The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata

The Way to Rainy Mountain by N. Scott Momaday

Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

Storm Glass by Maria V. Snyder

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

Frostfire by Amanda Hocking

Stitching Snow by R.C. Lewis

After the Red Rain by Barry Lyga

Rain Reign by Ann M. Martin

The Prince of Mist by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

a book set at sea

Ship of Magic by Robin Hobb

Above World by Jenn Reese

a book with an animal in the title

The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

Tiger Burning Bright by Marion Zimmer Bradley

The Lions of Al-Rasson by Guy Gavriel Kay

The Shark God by Charles Montgomery

Raven Girl by Audrey Niffenegger

Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

The Bees by Laline Paull

Reindeer Moon by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang by Kate Wilhelm

Dov Arising by Karen Bao

White Cat by Holly Black

Cuckoo Song by Frances Hardinge

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell

The Golden Mare, the Firebird, and the Magic Ring by Ruth Sanderson

Ferrets (Barron’s Complete Pet Owner’s Manuals) by E. Lynn Fox Morton

The Ferret: An Owner’s Guide to a Happy Healthy Pet by Mary R. Shefferman

Black Canary #1 by Brennden Fletcher

Lumberjanes, Vol.1: Beware the Kitten Holy by Noelle Stevenson

a book set on a different planet

Luna: New Moon by Ian McDonald

Coyote by Alan Steele

Glow by Amy Kathleen Ryan

Salvage by Alexandra Duncan

Dove Arising by Karen Bao

Stitching Snow by R.C. Lewis

a book with song lyrics in the title

Don’t Turn Around by Michelle Gagnon

All These Things I’ve Done by Gabrielle Zevin

Yesterday by C.K. Kelly Martin

a book about or set on Halloween

The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury

a book with characters who are twins

Nightfall by Jake Halpern

Affinity by Sarah Waters

a book mentioned in another book

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. LeGuin

The Last of the Wine by Mary Renault

Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith

a book from a celebrity book club

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie

Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay

He, She, and It by Marge Piercy

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters

The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin

Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier

Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers

a childhood classic you’ve never read

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

Winter of Fire by Sherryl Jordan

a book that’s published in 2018

Unearthed by Amie Kaufman

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert

These Rebel Waves by Sara Raasch

Reign of the Fallen by Sara Glenn Marsh

The Apocalypse Guard by Brandon Sanderson

The Diminished by Kaitlyn Sage Patterson

Sea Witch by Sarah Henning

Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie

Witchmark by C.L. Polk

Inkmistress by Audrey Coulthurst

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender

Blackfish City by Sam J. Miller

a past Goodreads Choice Awards winner

The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

A Work in Progress by Connor Franta

a book set in the decade you were born

The Miseducation of Cameron post by Emily M. Danforth

A Map of Home by Randa Jarrar

a book you meant to read in 2017 but didn’t get to

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan LeFanu

Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

a book with an ugly cover

Poison by Chris Wooding

Starters by Lissa Price

a book that involves a bookstore or library

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins

The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

your favorite prompt from the 2015, 2016, or 2017 reading challenges

Explorer: The Mystery Boxes by Kazu Kibuishi

Watchmen by Alan Moore

Lumberjanes, Vol.1: Beware the Kitten Holy by Noelle Stevenson

Habibi by Craig Thompson

Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton

The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin

Fearless by Cornelia Funke

Swallows of Kabul by Yasmina Khadra

The Boy at the End of the World by Greg Van Eekhout

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon by Grace Lin

Advanced:

a bestseller from the year you graduated high school

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Dewey: the Small-town Library Cat who Touched the World by Vicki Myron

a cyberpunk book

Snow Crash by Neil Stephenson

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Vurt by Jeff Noon

Moxyland by Lauren Beukes

Beggars in Spain by Nancy Kress

a book that was being read by a stranger in a public place

lol i don’t like ... even go to public places; if anyone’s reading this do u wanna help me out

a book tied to your ancestry

Polish Roots by Rosemary A. Chorzempa

Women of Valor: Polish Resisters to the Third Reich by Joanne D. Gilbert

Poles in Wisconsin by Susan Gibson Mikos

a book with a fruit or vegetable in the title

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson

an allegory

Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie

Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Carcia Marquez

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

a book by an author with the same first or last name as you

A Dirty Rose by Nannah Marnie-Claire

[censored] sorry

a microhistory

Follow the Rabbit-Proof Fence by Dorris Pilkington

Earth Then and Now: Amazing Images of our Changing World by Fred Pearce

Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexualty by Hanne Blank

a book about a problem facing society today

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

UnDivided by Neal Shusterman

a book recommended by someone else taking the reading challenge

anyone wanna help me out???