#but goddddd i don't get how people make friends so easily
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trying to tell myself i've been at school for two weeks and it's normal not to have close friends yet because it's TRUE but also everyone else seems to have friends already and i don't get it
#my roommate literally moved here from another country and yet she already has friends#meanwhile i have lived in this city for two years but two of my friends moved away and the other one isn't replying to me#so i am back down to zero friends!!#this is technically not true the one is still my friend she is just busy. but that one is a Complicated relationship already#and since she is not messaging me really it like. does not help the fact that i feel lonely!!! like it doesn't hurt either but#i am friendly with some classmates so realistically it's a lot better than my first year at my last school#because then i was too terrified to even talk to anybody for like half the semester#but goddddd i don't get how people make friends so easily#i want meaningful human connection so badly#and i am a good friend!! like i don't like myself most of the time and don't really understand why people like me either#but i do think i am a good friend!! i care so fucking much about my friends that has to be worth something#but i just. don't know how to make those connections
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