#but given the year it was prob bob (unfortunately)

[praphit]

GLASS FOR YOUR ASS!

Glass for your ass!

I know, people. That was unnecessary and childish, and I'm almost halfway sorry, but it IS fun to say.

Say it with me GLASS FOR YOUR ASS! One more time, let's shout it together - GLASS FOR YOUR ASS! Yes!

I'm thinking of starting a business with that name. Idk what would actually be sold, cuz... I can't imagine that anyone would want glass literally sticking in their butt. Though... who knows what the young people are into today?? Maybe I'll sell custom glass chairs instead. Can you imagine that commercial?? "Come on down to John Praphit's Glass For Your Ass today for a free fitting." 

But, no, people! This post is not about my new biz venture, but a new M. Night movie! "Glass"

He has taken some of his old twists, and brought them together in this new movie!

Twist number one: Bruce Willis - An old geezer

Come on, young ladies - follow the creepy old dude in the poncho.

The twist here is that this particular geezer is super strong. He also has the power to touch people to find out their motives (good for catching bad guys). I guess another twist would be the fact that he has been walking through the city groping people for decades and no one has reported him. He is "metoo" proof!

M. Night has a chance here for a cop show idea. He could sell this idea to Fox or someone (seems like they'd do this): A cop who always gets his man or woman, BUT he has to grope several people to do so. He doesn't enjoy it, he's simply utilizing his God-given talent. The show could be called "The Groper" or maybe not... maybe "The Geez". Yeah, that's better, I think.

 The next resurrected twist on M. Night's list is Mr. Glass!

He's lookin good isn't he? It's crucial to look sharp when you're also crazy and evil.

Sam L has the power of super intelligence, and cool hair.

The twist, unfortunately, is that he is also super-breakable. He could pass gas and break a rib. They should have put that in the movie. Sam L giving a speech, then *fart* "Aaaaah! Shit! My rib! Anyway, back to my master plan."

It's just another day. The last resurrected twist is James McAvoy - aka The Horde

We can just call him "Mental Illness Man". He has D.I.D (multiple personalities)

Allow me to step on my soapbox for just one moment: I've said this before, and will continue to say it - Can someone please create a character who happens to have a mental illness, but is not defined by that illness or driven to evil by it?! PLEASE!

Ex. Let's say Dr. Susie has an extreme case of OCD. One could write her as having this illness leads her to become a serial killer. If you're messy, you've gotta go! OR - one could write her as managing her OCD, and giving others with OCD hope... now you could still have her kill people if you want, but not because of OCD. See what I mean??

Anyway... By these three twist combined, we have "Glass"!

Sarah Paulson is also in this movie.

She looks like a poltergeist in this pic. Maybe she is... ANOTHER TWIST!

I love her, btw. She is good in everything. She plays a doctor who is trying to treat these three; believing that they are suffering from delusions.

The movie does a good job of selling that all of this might be bullshit. The characters are doubting themselves. Their families are doubting them. Even I was doubting them. I started to get mad. When did "Unbreakable" (Bruce Willis' movie) come out? 2000?

If all of this is leading up to lies, that would mean that M. Night has been lying to us for almost 2 decades. That's worthy of an ass whupin if you ask me. There's another twist for you. Me tracking down M.Night to slap him around for his lies.

But, this is pretty much the movie. It's a Blumhouse production, meaning that not a whole lot of money went into this flick. Most of the scenes are shot in the clinic that those three end up in. This is a story of doubt, possible lies, Mr. Glass plotting something, and an eventual twist that you know is coming. This is all fine if this is the movie that you believe you were sold.

From watching the trailer, I thought we'd get a flick with Mr. Glass breaking them out of a very temporary sitch in the clinic, him convincing The Horde to join him, and Bruce Willis fighting for justice! - maybe even get a good love scene with Sarah Paulson.

Oh, I wish that they had promised Bruce that love scene, cuz maybe he would have tried in this movie. He's pretty much sleep-walking through this film. This is the face he's making throughout the whole picture

- the face of exhaustion and contractual obligation.

The movie comes down to Mr. Glass scheming (which is actually cool), breaks for James McAvoy to be his schtick (and it does feel gimmicky. Less like a man with an illness and more like a one man show), and plot twists that don't make much sense. There is a message of believing in yourself depsite how the world tries to suppress you. I think this message is cool, and is planted well through the film. The prob is that nothing else is planted well through this movie. Yet, I still reccomend it... I couldn't tell you why... maybe that's another twist.

It does a good job of creating anticipation, it just doesn't deliver. Like a first date that's driven by anticipation and excitement. You keep thinking it's going to be something that it never turns into - anticipation, excitement, anticipation, excitement... and then you go home confused. BUT, you don't exactly regret going on the date... i guess... idk... that damned M.Night has got me so twisted around that I'm not making any sense.

Regardless, I give this movie an entertaining D+

I still have some things to get off my chest (that'll also explain the low grade), but I can't do this without spoiling anything, so here's your chance to get away.

Surrriously

Surrrrriously

Ok (you've been warned):

1) Bruce Willis gets caught, but how?

His son is working with him (same actor who played his son all of those years ago btw). His son is his eyes. Where were those eyes when it counted? If I were Bruce, I'd ground the son. Idc how old he is now. In your 20's or even your 30's, STILL GROUNDED! - until daddy gets out of prison. And even then, there'd be a spanking.

2) Why aren't the mass murderers (Mr. Glass and The Horde) better secured?!

And that whole flashing light in the face of The Horde whenever he jumps into a dangerous personality, to change him into a less menacing one? Really?? Assuming I go with that, why couldn't he have simply closed his eyes?

3) The dumbass girl, who was The Horde's victim, whom he took hostage and was going to kill in his movie "Split"��- she visits The Horde in lockup - TWICE! Towards the end of the film she puts her life at risk even more for him... WHY?!?!

4) Never trust Sarah Paulson! In most of her roles in movies or shows, she's never what she seems. This wasn't a bad thing, I'm simply voicing my mistrust.

5) The question is asked "If we DO have these powers? and it's not all delusions -  Why aren't there more of us?"

Yeah... WHY?! Good question! M. Night twisted himself on that one!

6) Lastly, his master plan to show the world video evidence of these feats done:

In 2019, would we even care for that long? Not much of a master plan.

Man, Jesus could return, with us having video evidence, and He could rapture tons of people. In two weeks we'd forget all about it.

Person A: "Hey, remember when Bob was raptured two weeks ago?"

Person B: "Who? Oh yeah, Bob. Right."

Person A: "It's crazy about Satan running around melting people's faces off isn't?"

Person B: "Is he still doing that? It hasn't been trending. Have you seen this cat video?"

We are the worst!

[kintsugi-sheep]

The Beholders

I didn't remember when I went to sleep, but I do remember waking up. I opened my eyes for a quick scan before closing them again.

Thank goodness I woke up in my own room, at least. Even if I was asleep on the floor.

From this vantage point I could hear my roommate playing Pink Floyd in his room beneath mine, though I couldn't hear him moving around. There was a faint sizzling and crackling sound a little farther off. He must've been making breakfast.

I ran through my morning routine. By memory I knew where the sink was, so I could brush my teeth. I knew where my desk was, so I could find my hairbrush. And I knew where my dresser was, so I could get my clothes.

Running through my morning routine with my eyes closed day after day gave me a sort of photographic memory. But that didn't help me when it came to picking out a tee to wear. I stood in front of my mirror and opened my eyes.

The first thing I saw in the mirror were my eyes. My lashes shimmered slightly and my pupils and irises glowed. I didn't know much about color, but my doctors were able to determine that everything I saw was in shades of blue. Didn't bother me much unless I was at the beach; I hated the beach. Looking myself over, I saw that the winner of Graphic Tee Roulette today was a concert tee I picked up from the thrift shop. I shut my eyes and made my way downstairs.

There was sizzling from the kitchen, along with the overwhelming smell of sausage and cayenne-covered eggs. Derrick used cayenne like the ocean used salt.

Usually I didn't need to feel my way around the living room, but the morning after a party was a different thing entirely. The couch and lamp tended to get moved, sometimes the television was on the opposite side of the room. No major run-ins occurred, though the floor was sticky with spilled beer.

I could hear snoring from the couch. Actually, one person was snoring. Another was lightly breathing. I knew the former was Leigh. I couldn't identify the latter.

"Morning, Jesse," I heard from the kitchen. The smile on Derrick's face was audible. "I didn't expect all that out of you last night. For a blind man you have weirdly good hand-eye coordination."

I slid onto a stool at the island. Jesse dropped a cup of coffee in front of me. I hadn't heard the pot going since I got up, so I figured it'd been sitting for a while.

Whatever. My favorite flavor was free. I pounded it back. "I'm more surprised that your coordination was so bad, especially considering your OB."

Derrick's ocular blessing, according to him at least, highlighted the best course of motion in a given situation, shining yellow where he should go and violet where he shouldn't. This helped him kill it at beer pong. At least until he got too many beers in him.

"Maybe play me sober next time."

"You're never sober at a party."

He plopped a paper plate in front of me. "Touché."

I heard a faint, feminine groan from the couch, followed by the creaking of the upholstery. I opened my eyes to locate where each piece of food on my plate was before shutting them again. The creaking on the upholstery stopped.

"Morning, Ms. Tyler. Would you like some breakfast?" Derrick called over me.

The feminine voice responded. "No." It paused. "I'm going to the bathroom."

I heard bare-footed steps scurry to the bathroom. "Leigh's new girlfriend?"

"Bed buddy. Probably short term. Tanned, blonde-"

"I don't know wat those are," I said through sausage-filled teeth.

"Right. Bob cut, bottom-heavy, shorter than Leigh, but taller than you.

I sipped more cold coffee before switching topics. "Tobias?"

I didn't see, but could hear, the smile drop from Derrick's face. "He left this morning. He was pretty upset. The patch was on his left eye."

"I see." Tobias' ability only occupied one eye at a time, but switched between them when it realized the eye it occupied wasn't being used. It allowed him to always see the object of his affection as they were at that time.

I mused for a bit, before asking, "Tobias went to bed early last night, didn't he?"

"Yeah. He told me Thursday that he was doing that community service thing at the library, but that shouldn't be until noon."

I continued. "Do you know if Leigh and...?" I motioned to where I knew the bathroom door to be.

"Last night, prob-" It hit Derrick then. "Oh. If you're right that's unfortunate."

Tyler stepped out of the bathroom and stopped. She didn't say anything for a noticeable minute, before asking, "Derrick, who are you talking to?"

A little more silence, before I said, "Me." I could hear her squeak in surprise.

"Maybe open your eyes, Jesse."

I complied. It did the trick, because next she said, "Oh my god, there is someone there! I thought you were just crazy."

"Well I am, but that's unrelated."

She extended her hand to me. "I'm so sorry. I'm Tyler."

I looked her over once. "I'm Jesse."

"I'm sorry." She took the stool next to mine and I was suddenly uncomfortable, so I shut my eyes again. She caught sight of this, and stammered, saying, "I don't see people. I can only tell where they are by the manifestation of their OG."

"I don't understand."

"Well," she began. I could hear her stealing my other sausage from my plate. "I stopped seeing people when I was ten. I saw their abilities instead. When I look at Derrick, I don't see just him; I see a giant golden snake coiled around a purple tree."

"Huh," he mused. "Now I know what my next tattoo will be."

"With you, it's like you're invisible right now. But, when you open your eyes, I can see you. And I can see some sort of angel with her hands covering your face."

I considered this. "Does she look like me?"

"Yes."

Mom, I thought. "That sounds cool. But—and you're free not to answer if you'd like—when you look at Leigh..."

I could feel her discomfort, I didn't need to see it. I couldn't blame her. Without his sunglasses on Leigh could only see the worst in people. "It's some sort of person wrapped in black leather." She leaned in close and whispered, "I think it might be a sex thing."

So she didn't know. Damn it, Leigh. I cracked my eyes momentarily and looked to make sure he had his shades on. He did.

"What's your power?" She asked.

I pulled my attention back to her. "Ah. Well, when I open my eyes I can see.

There was a pause and Derrick chuckled. My guess was that she made a weird face at my answer. "That's...how sight works."

"Not for me." I finished off my room-temp coffee before continuing. "You see, I was born blind. And my eyes were, apparently, crooked and dim, so it made people really uncomfortable. I got into the habit of keeping my eyes closed until about four years ago, when I learned I could see with them open."

"Then why don't you keep them open all the time?"

"It strains them if I do. The longest I've gone with them open is an hour."

"Wow." She shifted in her seat. "That sucks. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. The hardest part about vision for me was learning how to read and write, but I got that sorted out like a year-and-a-half ago." I opened my eyes again, just to see her face.

The blue of her cheeks tinged a few shades darker. "Your eyes are very pretty."

I shut them and tucked my head away. "Thank you."

Prompt: [WP] You live in a world were everyone had some kind of vision based ability. From seeing red threads between lovers to mood-ring like color codes for how people are feeling, everyone can see something no one else can. Except you. You were born blind, and your “power” is just normal vision.