#but fuck dude why cant i ever get a win bigger than ''fine i guess i dont wanna kill myself''

[artificer-real]

ive started to really despise self help posts because all they do for me is illustrate just how apparently fucked i am compared to most other people

[survivorelara]

Episode #14: “IDK WHAT TO DO W MY IDOL IF SAM GOES ILL CRY FOR LIKE 3 YEARS BUT I WANT TO BE SAFE ;(” - Loris

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's the fricking final  FIVE!!!!!!!! i feel like an icon,,, right ok so. tea lately? im winning... like look at everyone in the final 5 rn,,, if we go back to final 8 or 9 or sumn,,, out of us who would u say would be in the final 3... me bitch duh. anyways like.. i got to play mi legacy screeeeeeeee!! AND I still have my idol and if u think im playing that on anyone else lol!! i probably will dont quote me. anyways tea final four sooooooooooooooooon. woop woop. sam has me convinced it's a final two and the winner of fic gets to remove a juror. THAT'S CUTE. i'd love to go to the end with sam i love sam. umm.. like im pretty sure id beat him the jury hates him?? they hate me?? but him morE?? i also played GOOD. doot doot! boop boop

Well, I made it to F5, and this is where things really start falling into place, if my plans are proper, I shouldn't run into any issues. Though I WOULD like to win this challenge if only because I wanna be the one with the most challenge wins at the end, just as an additional notch on my belt.

HOWEVER, I can't seem to get this damn challenge right because of how much I suck. I keep fucking it up, over and over, and it SUCKS. Especially since I keep fucking up sooner and sooner every time.

Hopefully I can get my shit together, things should go fine though so long as Roxy doesn't win immunity, or Sam for that matter since I think Ci'ere and Roxy could try to pull a fast one given how obvious it is that Loris has the idol.

Anyway, here's to it all working out somehow.

Well I won immunity, which is a good thing and the most ideal for me, as it's another challenge under my belt, and it guarantees I make F4.

Currently I'm having a hard time seeing this vote not go my way, Sam and I are both voting Roxy, and presumably Loris is too, and that's majority right there. Funnily enough Roxy was trying to get Sam to flip on me in a F4 scenario or something, which was interesting, but if anything I just feel more justified in voting her out add in that whole tie vote fiasco, and I'm ready to send her home. (I love her to death though, she's such a sweetheart, and I do feel bad voting her out, but I have my own game to think about.)

Ideally Ci'ere will end up voting out Roxy as well, and at F4 I've got two F3 deals and I think I've got reasonable odds in both. Knowing that Loris had two advantages, and just how people seem to think he's this giant threat, I feel almost that I HAVE to vote him out at F4 if the opportunity is there. I think his game is flawed, but it'll all come down to perception, and he's perceived as someone who'll win against anyone.

Alternatively Ci'ere has had a more independent game, though I think I have a stronger case than his, but I could be wrong, maybe the jury will like him more, I can't really say.

Above all else despite all my plans, I'm happy I won this challenge, and I hope I get to FTC as that's all I've ever wanted and this'll be the first time I will have done it.

https://youtu.be/hd8d17Uos6k

Sigh...

So Sam got a brilliant plan together, that could potentially take Loris out. But then Ci'ere told me he wants a F3 of him me and Roxy, which I'm not a fan of. I'd much rather just drag my goat to the end, and drive things my way.

We'll see how things go, I'm not a huge fan of this plan, but I might go along with it just because it seems fun. Regardless though this plan requires Sam to vote Loris, as I will 100% be voting Roxy. If Loris idols himself, I voted Roxy, and I didn't necessarily break blood with Loris. If Loris idols Sam, then Loris goes, and I didn't vote against him, and can hopefully pull for his vote.

So I'm still trying to bend this situation to my favor. Though I'm more in favor of just dueling Loris at F4 since that's what I was expecting. I could honestly just tell Loris to idol himself to force this vote a particular way, but honestly I think I'm in a situation that honestly it doesn't matter who's at the end so long as one of Loris or Roxy go home now, since I'll likely have to win immunity to make it to F3 anyway.

I WANT TO DIE OK SO CIEREMESSAGED ME SAYING SOMETHING LIKE WE NEED TO MAKE LORIS THINK ITS YOU AND NOW APPARENTLY KORI WANTS ME OUT At final 4 GIRL IK NOT SURPRISED ... IDK WHAT TO DO W MY IDOL IF SAM GOES ILL CRY FOR LIKE 3 YEARS BUT I WANT TO BE SAFE ;(

ok.... I don't even know how to start confessing this round. really mad I fucked up and didn't win immunity cause that would've made this vote SO much less tricky. but alas, kori is immune, and guess what, loris has the idol. as we all are aware of now. these are the 2 people I DONT want in the f3 with me, because they both can beat me, whereas I feel I can beat the other two, so that had me thinking. does this mean one of my ideal f3 will have to leave, meaning I'll lose the game?

then it hit me, the most fucked up plan I could think of. loris has been my RIDE or DIE the entire merge phase of this game. words cant even describe how much I adore the kid, but like I said if he makes it to the end of this game, he wins the whole thing. that's how well I feel he's done. definitely enough to beat me. I know loris, and he isn't a dummy. i know that if he felt he had too, he would play his idol on me, because he's aware that if I ended up leaving this round, he'd be alone at f4 with everyone else wanting him out. so I started to wonder, what if I could make him play his idol on me, then vote him out…

so I got to work. I approached both ciere and roxy first and told them that one of us 3 is going because kori is immune and loris has the idol. and if that were the case, then the other 2 left in the game couldn't win because either loris or kori would take the cake if they are both in the f4. I had to convince them that us 3 making the f4 is best for all of our games. I told them to go to loris and start completely gutting me to him, convince him that everyone else is voting me. telling loris that they feel he's too selfish to not use the idol on himself. once word got to him and he came to me about it, I immediately started saying well great man its been fun love ya dude... but I wish you the best of luck at f4 since without me youll be alone. basically hinting at him to use the idol on me

then there is kori… he needs to go next, there's no question about it. but I had to try and convince him that voting loris out now while he has the chance is in his best interest, and that we've been a f2 this whole game and if worse comes to worse I would vote with him at f4. claiming that if loris makes it, kori will be the bigger threat. I started to leak false alliances to him, to try and get him to feel some type of way that im the only one he can trust, and that me staying this round and loris leaving is our best chance at both making it to ftc, because he wants to go with me since clearly he would win against me... that's how I convinced him to hop on my insane, wild, stupid plan to tell loris im the one leaving so he can play his idol on me. then another emma happens and he goes this vote…

If this plan works out, it will be absolutely brilliant, but also hands down the most brutal thing ive done in any org I've played, hence why I'm so frenetic. I can't say this enough but ill say it once, loris does NOT DESERVE THIS AT ALL. not at all. He has been one of my absolute favorite allies ive ever had in an org, and I couldn't be happier to have met him. What I'm doing to him this vote is honestly so brutal I can't even explain how brutal it is. But I came here to win. That's why I play orgs, is to go as far as I absolutely can. And if loris makes it to f4, I don't win. Period. My best shot at winning this game is going f3 with ciere and Roxy, and all im doing is trying my best to ensure that happens so i have the best shot at winning this game. Sure this could blow up in my face and get me voted out instead, but I feel and hope ive done a pretty good job at explaining and convincing how one of those 2 will win this game if they both make f4 and that ciere and Roxy stand a way better chance against me. Here goes nothing, I came to play hard and take risks, so heres one of the biggest risks yet. I'm so so so sorry loris, I just, fucking love you god I hate orgs Why do I put myself through these.

Random thoughts featuring me, Ci’ere!: I think this plan worked a lil too well I convinced Loris to vote out Sam and not use the idol on him but if I can't vote out Loris or Kori Sam is the next best thing and a move for myself sam loris and kori have a final 3 sam told Loris about our final 3 with Kori Kori tells me that Loris has an idol and Sam also tells me that he has one moments later but Loris was planning to vote for Roxy Loris plans to vote to Roxy because he thinks that this plan to get Loris to play an idol on Sam is impossible Sam comes up with a brilliant plan to get Loris to play his idol on Sam which would need convincing by me Loris has no relationship with Roxy and Kori is trying to be this saint and doesn't wanna be in on it Roxy was originally trying to vote for me in the event that Loris played the idol on himself everyone feels closest to Sam: Loris, Kori, Roxy and maybe even me even if I don't want to be taking out Sam would be a move that I could call my own I went off on Kori because he's acting like he's superior for winning immunity and that he'll win the next one too. I'm gonna do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. I also went off on Roxy because she acted fake and sent me hearts that she was down to vote for Loris when she was already told that he had an idol I was very hangry... I had a very long talk with Loris and I was trying to convince him that I would vote for Sam. I believe it worked, but it worked just a little too well because Loris wants to now vote for Sam as well ASDFG I also accidentally slipped and told Loris "we need Loris to believe that it's you" or something of the sort. Luckily, I saved myself by scapegoating Kori and telling Loris that I acted on Kori's delusions that I would vote out Loris in a f4 situation if we were to take out Sam. This means promising Loris that I'm taking him to the end and whew gurl between Kori and Loris I'm not even sure what I'd do but Loris has played better I believe Sam tried turning all of us on each other while he'd be the middleman and have a clear shot at making it to the end with a great story. Which means Sam's relationship with Loris isn't as strong as Sammy thot ASDF Okay nvm Sam just got confirmation that Loris is idoling him OMG THIS WORKED??? I'M SHAKING Sam might've came up with the plan, but I put it into motion and convinced Loris that we were all gunning for Sam & I also got Kori to tell Loris that he was voting Sam. I spooked Loris into voting me... I'd say my acting skillz were on point for this one hehe If Loris happens to end up idoling himself and voting for me or he in fact does vote for Sam, I need a safety net and I need to make sure the next best thing is sent home. So I’m going to be voting for Sam as a precautionary measure because sis ain’t going nowhere okcurrrr.

Loris is voted out 3-1-1*