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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

Text

I Know Places

Loki x Reader

1989, chapter 12

"And everyone was watching"

Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the stark tower- and that's where our story begins.

Word count: 5,106

Warnings: an intense game of Uno, angst, fluff, Odin, and one perfect punch. Not in that order.

A/N: we are so close to the end! Thank you @chrissquares for the beautiful dividers! And thank you so much for @nacho-bucky for beta reading this for me!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Series masterlist

Song on Spotify and YouTube

His hands were on your waistline yet again when you woke up. It has been this way ever since Bruce cleared you from the med bay. Loki refused to leave your side. Every time as you fell asleep you felt the tingles of Loki's magic, helping you calm your mind and dream peacefully. Loki had told you all about what happened, so once he managed to get through your powers he took it upon himself to make sure you sleep safe and sound. You didn't remember your dreams, yet whenever you woke up you could not feel more at peace. It had been far too long without Loki for you- it always was.

You slowly cracked your eyes open through the daylight, coming face to face with the trickster god sound asleep. You couldn't help the smile that took over you- he looked so young, so innocent, here sleeping next to you with a soft light casting shadows on his long lashes. You brushed a strand of hair from his face and when he stirred you turned around and backed into his embrace.

"Good morning, darling."

"Good morning, Loki." You hid your head into the soft pillow loving how it now smelt of him, taking his hand that was draped over you and lacing your fingers with his, tightening his hold on you.

Opening your eyes you looked at the small blaze that stayed seated on your bedside drawer.

"Oh shoot, we forgot to put the candles out last night." You looked around the room where candles were still lit up, giving the room a warm light besides the illumination from outside.

"Leave it, darling. Let's go back to sleep." He kissed the side of your neck, grunting when you got out of the bed, leaving him in the warm sheets. "You don't need to put them out."

"It's dangerous, Loki, it'll take just a moment."

You went around the room and put out the small fires along the way, one by one. You got to your dresser and blew on the candle softly before stepping away, and then you noticed it didn't die out. You blew on it again and yet it only swayed.

"I can't put this one out." You tried again.

"Maybe it doesn't want to, just leave it be." Loki groaned as he stretched in bed. "Leave it lit."

You huffed and blew on it again with more force, and the fragile little flame burnt out, leaving the room lit only by the outside rising sun.

Satisfied with yourself, you went back to the bed, and fell on top of Loki with a giggle.

"Okay, now we can rest."

•

The walls were filled with hushed chatter as Thor passed the gold filled halls. He went through the familiar corridors with his head held up high until the guards pushed open the door for him and he entered the throne room.

"My son, what have you come here to inform me?" Odin looked down upon the golden haired prince as he walked towards the stairs of the Allfather.

"Well Father, I'm sure you will be glad to hear that we managed to find Y/N and she is all better now." Thor smiled at his father before continuing, "We also found the missing weapons, but I'm afraid there are some bad news as well…"

"Well, get on with it."

"We figured out who was responsible for the missing weapons- apparently it was Lady Iyllir, Father."

"What? How preposterous. You can't expect me to believe that! The lady and her family are very well respected, and the young lady is to marry your brother soon!"

"During the battle we saw her there- she was threatening Y/N and others. Loki had to take her down." Thor tried explaining to his father, but it was of no use. "I saw it."

"You saw it? Are you certain Loki didn't just act without thinking?" Odin questioned his son, Thor just nodded, remembering how Loki had looked at you when you laid motionless as they took you back from the warehouse.

"I have no doubt that he thought it though, what was done was necessary and just."

Odin only hummed, considering his son's claims.

"It ended as it should have, and besides- we got everything back!" Thor laughed lightly, smiling at his father but it didn't last long.

"Not everything."

•

"As much as I love having you back, kid, I will have Steve ground you to your room if you do what you're about to do!" Tony threatened you and you bit your lip to hide your smile. You looked to Natasha in front of you, and to Loki next to you, before laying the card on the center of the table.

"Take four, Uno." You let the smirk take over your face.

"Gosh-darn it- fucking hell-" Tony grumbled as he took cards from the pile.

"Come on Tony leave her alone, her cards were just better than yours." Steve chuckled and looked over at you.

"Yeah Tony, I won fair and square." Loki smirked besides you and put a hand around your waist.

"No, I don't trust it." Tony pointed at Loki and then at you. "You helped her cheat, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you mean, Stark." Loki tilted his head a bit in a show of innocence, but Tony didn't have any of it. "Why would I interfere in the game?"

"You kids are in love, that gives you motive!"

"Perhaps, but alas you have no proof." You could feel him relax next to you as others laughed and some even threw cards around until you couldn't continue playing the game and instead you just talked about nothing in particular and ate snacks.

You looked around at all your friends with a small smile on your lips. It felt all too familiar and yet so foreign to you. You never thought you would have this, a family doesn't end in blood but it doesn't have to start there either. There, through the spies and geniuses, you found a place where you felt protected and happy- a safe haven. Maybe every bait and switch in the tapestry of your life was a work of art that was meant to bring you all the way here. It was almost perfect, you almost had everything you could wish for but you decided not to dwell on that now while Loki was smiling so openly and Steve was laughing alongside the group that gathered around you- surrounding you with warmth even December storms couldn't penetrate.

"Love," Loki called you in a quiet voice. You looked up at him. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

You almost winced at that, but you only shook your head.

"I'm just-" for luck of a better word, "home."

You stayed in the compound with the team for the weekend, the quiet outside and the trees helped all of you get some normalcy after everything that happened. You missed that.

It seemed like Loki understood you, he always did, as he kissed your forehead and brought you back to the conversation. It was almost weird seeing him exchanging non harmful snarky comments with Bucky, and somehow getting along with your newfound family, but you only took it with a smile, basking in the warm feeling as you caught Steve's eye and offered him a smile which he returned. You couldn't wish for anything better than this.

•

Loki has been called by Odin to a meeting, and so he reluctantly got out of your bed as daylight reached your window and was now walking into the palace. He was stopped in his tracks, however, by a shriek.

"You!" he turned to see Iyllir's mother pacing fast towards him with her husband trailing behind her. "You are a murderer, you killed our daughter and you dare walk here with pride? You are a disgusting vile frost giant-"

"If I were you, I would be careful with how you talk to your prince." He sharply replied. Loki didn't spare a thought about Iyllir's parents- or her demise at all, so it didn't occur to him that her parents would still be at the palace. "I understand your grief, I sincerely apologize for it, but your daughter was a traitor of Asgard and forced my hand. The deed was justified."

"You can say whatever you want, prince," Iyllir's father spat the word at him and he clenched his jaw, trying to keep his composure. "Our daughter only did it because of you! I heard the rumors, everyone knows about the Midgardian girl you chose over Iyllir! She was simply doing what had to be done to make you choose correctly!"

The yells started to draw the attention of the workers who were around the palace entrance, he could hear them whisper as they passed by. It's a scene that he is out here in clear sight with the mother and father of the girl he had killed.

"You are nothing but a cunning little fox, a pretend prince, thinking that a mortal could be with such a monster. Don't you know that their petty little lives are but a fraction of ours? Nothing can come out of it but you suffering- and I hope that you will suffer immensely." The once graceful lady was gritting her teeth now. "And as from what I know from Midgard, you can run but the hunters are always hunting for foxes like you."

Loki had had enough of it.

"If that is supposed to be a threat then it is a poor one," his voice was low now and he was satisfied with the way their eyes went wide and they took a step back when he took a step forward. "I suggest you leave Asgard, for good, before I show you what it is like to be hunted. You won't last long, I assure you of that, I will make sure you feel how insignificant you are that you think you can talk to me in such a way. Your daughter hurt the woman I love, and her death was quick but I promise it will not be the case with you if you even dare talk about my love in such a way."

He took pride at the fright in their eyes, the way they scrambled away into the nearest carriage.

Straightening his collar, his sharp glare silenced every whisper in the hallway as he made his way to Odin.

•

You stood in the kitchen, making a batch of pancakes when you saw Loki enter the kitchen. You walked to him with a smile.

"Loki! You're finally back, would you like some pancakes?" You leaned up to kiss him but you barely felt him return it. He seemed to be considering your offer for a bit too long, before he nodded.

"Of course, my love, I would love it." He smiled at you and it made you forget everything else, as well as the batch you had on the pan that was getting burned by the second. Loki scrunched his nose, "Why do I smell smoke?"

You spent the day with Loki, a lazy Saturday afternoon with your lover, a perfect day.

Loki didn't seem to talk much, he didn't have that usual spark in his eye that you always saw. But that was okay, you managed to bring it out of him, you always did.

Your lazy day got ruined when Natasha and Sam showed up at the entrance of the common room with a bucket full of filled out water balloons and a hefty amount of water guns.

"Grab your weapon of choice, Bucky started this so we are going hunting- and you are on our team."

You turned to Loki with a smile; maybe this will cheer him up.

"What do you say, trickster? Do you want to go hunting?" with a smirk Natasha threw a gun your way and Sam threw one towards Loki, as you got up you missed the ghostly look that crossed Loki's face.

Now, you were sure that Bucky and Steve started this as a friendly fight. But the two punks were now running away as the fight turned into a war.

"Come on now Y/N, won't you spare me?" Steve had a mischievous glint in his eyes that betrayed his words. You had him cornered as he had his hands held up at the loaded gun you were pointing at him. You disarmed him from his own water balloons.

"I'm sorry Cap, you started it." As you started spraying him with water he ducked to the side and grabbed water balloons.

"Run."

And run you did, you saw as others fought beside you, when you spotted Loki you grabbed his hand and took him with you. You sprayed water behind you when you tried to lose the ones who chased.

"Where are we running?"

"Come on, I know a place we won't be found!" you giggled when a balloon hit Loki and he glared at Steve who was right on your tail, grabbing your gun and aiming right at his face. At the shriek you heard you knew Loki hit his target.

You ran for the fences up ahead, yelling at Loki to jump right when you did.

"Love," he tried to keep up with you as you pulled him with you. "You have failed to tell me where we are going."

"You'll see! They can't track us here." you took a sharp turn when you reached the woods until you stopped in front of a big tree. You started climbing it and Loki followed until you got high enough that you saw above the other trees. There you decided to lean on the tree while sitting on a wide tree branch with Loki by your side.

Loki kissed the palm of your hand and no words were exchanged when you played with his hair and you watched the skies as they turned into a canvas of warmer shades of colours.

•

Days have passed as you went back to the tower and you found yourself waking up to a cold bed, and if Loki was there with you then he disappeared during the day with the same explanation, "I have a meeting in Asgard."

At what point does an explanation become an excuse?

One day you decided to distract yourself with cleaning your room, so you started with your dresser. Pulling out boxes of jewelry you went to open them and start sorting when you caught side of a green glimmer in the dead of the night just outside of your door and with sudden annoyance you threw the box you held back into the drawer then you closed it and got up from the floor.

"Hi love-" Loki started, smiling when he saw you again.

"Loki, tell me what's going on, you are gone so much lately!" He gave you a smile that you knew all too well.

"I told you-"

"No excuses! What's wrong up there in Asgard?" You sat on your bed and Loki stood in front of you, you tried to pull him to sit beside you but he didn't budge. You saw the resolve fall from his face and his sharp cheekbones only enhanced the somber look he had now.

"It seems that my brother has loose lips whenever he talks to my father, and some talks have spread."

"And what about it?" you tilted your head to the side and watched him as he tried to keep his composure; you saw the anger flash in his eyes but it wasn't directed at you.

"Well, it seems that my father is not pleased about everything that occurred."

"Of course he isn't, but I'm sure Thor made it better if anything!" you drew circles on his palms with your thumbs.

"No, he isn't pleased with what was taken from Asgard- he isn't pleased that a mortal has Asgardian powers," he clutched your hands in his when you started to let go. "He isn't pleased with you."

Now you were the crestfallen one. You tried not to get lost in your head.

"What does he want?" Loki knew you were trying to hide the fear that was sinking deep within you.

You adjusted the skirt of your dress, standing nervously in the middle of the room. You weren't really sure why you were feeling this anxious when you've seen Loki hundreds of times before, but now you knew why as you were straightening your dress you remembered that you bought it because of him- for him. The green of it reminded you of the shirt he often wears; when you complimented him he admitted to it being his favourite colour.

You hoped he would like it.

So yeah it was just another movie night with Loki, but it was the first one after you realized you were in love with him, after you actually let your feelings get inside your head and take over your actions.

The familiar gentle knock on the door startled you from the daze and you went to open the door to Loki.

There he stood in front of you in his green dress shirt- he always dressed like he was a royal going to a gala of some sort. And you loved it.

"Hi darling," Loki took a minute to look you over at the dress you wore. He had to tear his eyes away from your body to look into your eyes. "What are we watching this time?"

He smiled at you as he walked in and you willed yourself to act naturally- he was your best friend, nothing changed.

"I like the dress, you look marvelous in it." You decided to go to the kitchen to get some much needed water and snacks for the movie.

"Yes, thank you." You took pride at the steady voice you managed to voice out.

Loki stood there in the middle of the living room and admired the way your body looked as you wore his colours. He put his hand over the pocket of his pants, feeling the golden necklace he got you. In Asgard it would seem like courting- giving a lady a necklace such as this, but he hoped in Midgard it is regarded as something more casual. He wouldn't want to give away his own feelings that seemed to burst through. Loki knows he can be comfortable around you- you made him feel welcomed and loved. But this feeling is new to him, this feeling towards you was new as well.

He didn't know he was smiling until you walked up to him with a smile and his favourite snacks.

"Let's start!"

As the movie went on you felt more like yourself with him, the chemistry was still there just like he was still your best friend- your newfound feelings didn't change it and you were grateful for that.

"I could never be that," you said suddenly during the movie.

"What do you mean?" You had your legs curled under you as you sat on the couch next to Loki. You turned to him, setting your drink down.

"A hero." When he gave you a strange look you continued. "I know that magic doesn't exist, but everyone dream for it. And I know that everyone, me included, would want to enter that magical universe and get out of this mundane world- but in reality it is never what it seems like."

"But wouldn't you like magic?" Loki felt his heart drop at your words. "You love all of these movies and all of them have magic in them."

"I would love it! But think about it Loki, in reality it would be such a difficult life, even the characters there know it and we see it. So yeah I would love it, but I think it could never be peaceful and it would only end up hurting. So I can long for it, but I don't think I would like to have it," you explained and bit your lip before looking at him. "I'm happy right now."

You smiled at him and continued watching the movie. He decided it is probably better if he didn't give you the necklace tonight.

•

Whatever you imagined Asgard would be like after the countless stories Loki had told you- nothing could have prepared you for the extravagant sights of it. Golden arches and flush greenery everywhere you went. You knew Asgard was a place for the gods, it was a dreamland and yet still this was far from the capabilities of your mind.

The sights of it drew your attention from the reason you were coming here in the first place. That was until you felt Loki's hand squeeze your own, and you started to really notice your surroundings.

You heard the whispers of the Asgardian people as you passed by, standing between Thor and Loki. You saw the judgmental looks people sent your way when they saw Loki's hand was entwined with yours.

Then you saw the palace. If it were any other day, you could've pretended that you were there with Loki for a ball like the one you imagined so many times so long ago. But now you were filled with dread that you were certain you were going to throw up, and it wasn't because of the travel.

The travel was nice comparing to what you expected, a man named Heimdall greeted you and when you looked into his eyes you felt as if he could see through you, as if he knew everything about you. He was still nice to you, wishing you luck as you walked on the bridge towards the palace. You didn't know how he knew but you accepted the welcomed wish.

Loki and Thor were both quiet as you stepped through the guards and when you passed the gate chills went down your spine. You felt as if you were trapped in a box when they closed it behind you, like you just walked into a gilded cage.

You understood what Loki was always ranting to you about- it was stifling in here.

Loki guided you until the three of you reached dark yet golden doors that behind them you knew the Allfather sat. right before the doors opened you looked over at Loki and at the sight of his tense face and hollowed eyes you remembered it all: all the countless times Loki came home to you in distress and on the brink of crying, all those times you had to hold him until his mind finally let him sleep, all those times were you had to force Loki out of all the toxic self destructive thoughts that were planted in his head by his father.

You weren't as scared anymore when the doors opened and you walked forward, holding Loki's hand tightly.

You hated him from the minute you saw him. A king sat there on a throne, you didn't expect anything else but what caught your eye and fuelled your already blazing hatred were the stairs. The throne he was sitting on was placed on the top of a line of stairs that led up to him, letting him look down at anyone who entered the place. It disgusted you, but you had to keep your cool for now, for Loki.

You remembered everything that Loki and the team explained to you about what happened during all this time that the two of you were apart. And most of all you remembered your promise.

"Ah my children, you finally arrived." Odin said before looking at you. You refused to let him see your fear, so you straightened your back but still kept holding Loki's hand. "And are you the midgardian girl I have heard so much about, Y/N?"

You looked at Loki who squeezed your hand and gave you a small nod with a little smile.

"Yes, I am." You tucked your hair behind your ears before getting to what you really were here for. "I heard that you wanted to talk about my powers."

"Yes, my child. Come forward." He told you and you reluctantly let go of Loki's hand. Loki looked at his brother who seemed just as agitated as he was and that was already not a good sign. "I'm assuming you have been told already that by Loki's mistake you have received Asgardian powers. The kind of powers you have are of the ancient arts of Asgard."

"Okay, what about it? Loki protected me and I ended up getting these powers that I have learned to control over the years." you furrowed your brows at the information and tried to smile at your own claims, it had been difficult to process but you understood your powers better now.

"That is well, my child." Odin rested his hand on the armchair and leaned back with his staff. "But since these powers are Asgardian, a mortal should not have them. They shall be taken away from you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"What the fuck?" you and Loki spoke at the same time.

"Father, you cannot do this, she is more than worthy to carry these powers." Loki came forward to stand in front of you now, protective.

"I agree, Father the powers have chosen her. These types of ancient powers were supposed to kill a mere mortal but they didn't, that surely means something about her capabilities." Thor added and stepped forward too, putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked down as you got lost in thought before speaking up.

"How can you do it? Take my powers away, I mean." Loki turned to you but you kept your gaze on the floor.

"Well dear, I am the Allfather, ruler of Asgard and the 9 realms. I am capable of doing things you- a mere mortal, cannot comprehend. And about how I would go about it-"

"May I approach you, before you continue?" you then asked, and it took him a second to consider it before he nodded. What is the harm in a midgardian girl being by him? You shrugged Loki's hand off when he went to take your arm. He was downright scared by the look in your eyes.

You went up the stairs towards the almighty Allfather and when you were on his level, he leaned forward in the chair awaiting what you had to say to him.

"While you are all that, I am Y/N, a human girl from earth and-" you smiled at him before taking your fist and colliding it with his cheek, making him throw his head back in the process. The look of fury didn't startle you when you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, but I made a promise a long time ago, Your Highness." You bowed your head and walked back down the stairs to Loki, who seemed to be at war between a prideful smile and fear for your safety.

"How dare you, you cannot do such a thing-" Odin stood up with his staff ready.

"Can't I?" you tilted your head at him as you stood next to Loki. "I didn't use my powers like I so easily could, because I didn't want to. So do continue what you said."

"Are you mad?" Loki whisper yelled in your ear.

"Quite possibly." You turned to kiss his cheek and found that hidden mischief in his eyes that you loved so.

"Father, please forgive her, I am certain the lady was just upset about the new information."

"Oh no I wholeheartedly meant that." Thor gave you an exasperated look before Odin dismissed him.

"Well as a matter of fact, extracting the powers away from you will involve a very deep process since the powers are so attached to you and your mind. Extracting those means also extracting all the memories of everything your powers have touched or affected- as well as their source."

You did not appreciate the satisfied look he had on when your own face fell as you took in his words. You couldn't be comforted by Loki who you knew would have detected a lie if Odin had uttered it as a form of revenge and pettiness.

You knew that there was no choice as far as Odin was concerned, but you knew Loki and you could feel his brilliant mind spinning around seeking a way out for you, he may have let Odin hurt him but hurting you is crossing a line no one will come back alive from.

So you did have a choice in fact, but given the opportunity you never thought you'd have, the answer wasn't hard to pick.

"Okay." You heard your own voice pick the path you will walk on, your voice was quiet but you knew they all heard you clearly.

"Y/N!" Loki turned to you and you did too. "You don't have to do this, don't think that because he says so I will let it happen when you don't want it!"

"I want it, Loki."

"You what?" he was taken aback- his eyes were studying you now, calculating an explanation.

"These powers Loki, they are not good."

"No, don't say that, don't let him convince you that something about yourself is bad- Norns, darling nothing about you in bad."

He cupped your cheek, trying to get you to understand. But he didn't understand what you were saying. Your eyes turned glossy with unshed tears.

"It's horrible, these powers are evil- I don't want them anymore." You searched his blue eyes but all you got was resistance."I felt them Loki, I felt them and they hurt. I want them gone, and now I have a way to do it."

"No, love can't you see? I've been trying to tell you this from the beginning- Your powers don't only cause harm. They can also heal and calm people down, they can do good- you are good."

"I've been there Loki- inside my mind, and all these powers are just dark. They hurt me, I don't want them anymore. I don't want it, they are staining me like blood on my hands- I don't want to carry this around anymore." You put your head in the crook of his neck, seeking comfort in his touch.

Loki froze in place at your words, they broke his heart because of the way you felt, but you also broke his heart because if you choose to lose your powers then…

Next thing you knew Loki moved away from you and walked out of the door before you could chase after him.

"Loki!"

•

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