#but either way this lil moment hasn't left my brain in days

[clary-jace]

JOHN B ROUTLEDGE and SARAH CAMERON ROUTLEDGE in Outer Banks | 4x05 - "Albatross"

[altairs-little-world]

Hi~~ May I request a scenario where the reader has been avoiding Kohaku due to the fact that they (the reader) are kinda unsure if he returns their feelings, so Kohaku actively tries to seek them out to figure out whats wrong :) (The reader hasn't confessed or anything, but they're afraid of their own feelings getting in the way or whatevaaa) So ya! maybe a teeny weeny bit of angst :D! Personalitywise maybe a somewhat quiet and reserved, but also kind and helpful reader? Hmmm yeah i think that's about it! No pressure and take your time~

-🐏

Kohaku Oukawa x GN!reader - Confrontation

Characters: Kohaku Oukawa 

Genres: Angst (it’s like. Very little. Teeny, even.), Fluff

Smaller “tags”: Kohaku POV(? Like it’s third person but focused on Kohaku), confessions, overthinking, someone tell me how to write Kohaku please orz, GN!reader

TW: None!

Word Count: 1628

A/N: This was actually the first request I received, thank you 🐏 anon! Sorry for taking so long (ノ_<。) It’s still a lil’ hard for me to write one-off scenarios without going mad on the backstory /sobbing/ This used to be… 2-3k words? Then it was cut down bc I think the backstory might’ve been unnecessary, and then I had a looong time of going back and forth on whether I wanted to keep the backstory- and finally settled on ~1.5k words orz 

I’m not sure if I wrote Kohaku’s character properly either?? A little confused on how to go about this boy, sorry if I mischaracterized him! The title is kinda weird too… At time of posting, it’s nearly 12 am and my brain is sneepy, I can’t think of anything better for now, sorry! orz

Please, enjoy!

KOHAKU OUKAWA ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

It’s been weeks. Close to two months now, where he barely had the chance to speak to you or even see you. Kohaku was going to go mad. 

He had taken every chance he could think of to interact with you - eating at the cafe where you worked as a part-timer (he had picked you up from the entrance of this very cafe to go play several times), visiting your favourite shops (both of you frequented sweet shops, often together instead of alone), even near-spam texting you and sending pictures of the scenery around him (he missed going to the park with you, where you’d worry and fuss over him whenever he climbed a tree). 

Yet he was met with no results. Every time he tried to reach you, you turned away, leaving him to grasp blindly at the space you left behind in his heart. Why? Were you sick of him tagging alongside you all the time? Had he wronged you in an unforgivable way? 

Kohaku seemed cold and aloof at times, but he truly cared for the people around him, cared about what they thought of him, including you - or maybe especially you, with how much he enjoyed hanging out with you, making you laugh, hearing you ramble on in that hushed voice of yours when you both came across something interesting. He missed you. 

And what would he, Kohaku Oukawa, do when he missed someone? That’s right - seek them out to no end (A first time, but this was apparently what he did).  

And perseverance is rewarded. 

“Wait!” 

He finally, finally manages to catch you one day, quite literally too. Kohaku had reached out and grabbed your arm the moment he saw you again, your body already turning away in an attempt to escape, but his hold on your arm was firm and unyielding. 

“Why? Why are ya running away from me?” Words pour out of him, afraid that you might go before he hears an answer, a conclusion, an explanation for your actions. His grip on your arm tightens in his panic, making you wince slightly. He doesn’t notice, desperation clouding his mind. “Please, talk to me. Did I do something wrong?”

You hurriedly land your other hand over his, trying to loosen the pink-haired boy’s grasp, prying his fingers away. “Kohaku, let go!” 

Lavender eyes widened with shock and remorse, and your arm was suddenly free. His gaze left you, teeth nibbling away at the inside of his mouth. He couldn’t look at you. How could he have done that? He hurt you. You had every right to hate him, run away, lash out… 

Kohaku blinks when his hovering hand is held, fingers wrapping around his palm. Then after a moment, another hand follows, surrounding his hand and heart with warmth. He stares at your collapsed hands for a moment, before lifting his head. This time, you were the one avoiding his eyes, choosing to fix your gaze on your hands as he’d done earlier. 

“... I’m sorry.” 

He also didn't expect to hear that. 

What were you sorry for? Why were you sorry? He was the one who should apologize, not you. But his mouth refused to open, throat still constricting with guilt. 

“I’m sorry,” You repeat, voice so soft the Kohaku would have missed it if not for his yearning to simply hear you for the past weeks. “I shouldn’t have… I…” 

Were you looking for an excuse to make him feel better? Kohaku would rather have the cold, hard truth. If you were truly sick and tired of him, he would accept it. At least, that was how he hoped he would react. 

“Do ya hate me?” A straightforward question - he hated beating around the bush. 

“What-?” Your teary eyes finally meet his - you were close to crying. But why? Why, why, why? He wants to hold you, to comfort you in the only way he knew, learnt from his younger years on the internet. But the male couldn’t bring himself to tear his hand away from yours, so instead, he reaches up with his other hand while you shake your head furiously. “No, no, never - I don’t hate you. Not at all-!” 

You fall silent when he makes contact with the side of your head, awkwardly stroking and messing up your hair. Kohaku’s heart practically melts when you let out a small sob and nuzzle your head further into his palm, closing your eyes as you did so. He had missed you so, so much. And it didn’t look like you had avoided him because you hated him - a relief, but why had you been avoiding him, then? 

“I…” It’s only when your mouth moves again that he realises he had spoken his latter thoughts out loud. You lifted your head away from his touch, much to his disappointment, but your hands stayed firmly around his. The male feels little taps on his hand, from your fidgeting thumbs. Were you nervous? Scared? Why? 

He had so many questions, but no answers. Not yet, at least. 

Kohaku awaits your response, bringing his other hand to join your already-linked hands, eyes fixed on you and you alone. Something bubbled in his chest, an unfamiliar feeling, but he ignores it, deeming your answer of more importance at this moment. 

“I…You.” 

“Hah? I can’t hear ya. A little louder?” He wonders why your face has become a shade of light pink like his hair, colour becoming more intense with every passing second. “... Hello?” 

“I like you!” 

“Eh?” 

Did he hear you wrongly? He must’ve. There was no way- How- And him, him of all people? 

Mind still reeling from your confession, he nearly misses your following words. “I’m sorry.” You say, looking down. That only confuses the pink-haired boy even further. What were you apologizing for, now? For avoiding him? For having just confessed? For liking him? 

Something blooms in his chest. Kohaku quickly pries his hand out of your grasp, instead engulfing you in a hug. He finally releases the breath he’d been holding ever since weeks ago, tense shoulders sagging as he holds you close. 

“Don’t apologize. Ya got nothin’ to say sorry for,” His voice is nearly muffled in your shoulder, but he was close enough that you could hear him anyway. A long sigh is dragged out from him, fingers curling around the back of your clothes. “Ya seriously avoided me for so long because ya liked me? What kind of backwards logic-” 

He cuts himself off with another sigh. Kohaku was just so relieved, so happy, so satisfied right now, being able to hold you like this without you pushing him away. He never knew he needed this, but he never wants to stop hugging you now. 

“Sorry… I- Just forget what I said,” Your forehead rested on his shoulder, voice wavering, nearly pleading with your next words. “...Can we still be friends?” 

Friends? Kohaku didn’t think that was the next step after one confessed to another. Was he missing something here… Oh. He was so caught up with everything happening at once that he forgot the most important, and possibly most embarrassing part. 

“I, um, I like ya too. Like, a lot,” His voice lowers to a mumble, almost embarrassed to say the words he had only read in his comics. The male wasn’t one to express his affections so blatantly, whether with words or actions - but with you here, already in his arms, perhaps he could show some weakness. 

“...Really?” He feels slightly hurt at the disbelief in your soft voice, pulling back to grip your shoulders and look you dead in the eyes, violets staring into you. 

“When have I eva’ lied?” 

Your gaze shied away from his, blinking off to his left instead as you gave an answer. “...Never?” 

“That’s right. So do ya think I’m lying now, of all times?” Kohaku tilts his head to the left to catch your eye again, voice dropping to a shaky whisper as his brows furrow. The male’s hands leave your shoulders, finding your limp hands again to cup them and hold them up as if he were praying to you. “Ya know me better than anyone, I would think. If ya don’t know if I’m lyin’ or not right now, who would?”

You were his friend, his confidant, his respite, his… Everything, basically. This feeling in his chest was close to overwhelming him at this point - a first, he thinks. Or maybe not. Maybe he had always felt this way around you, but was too utterly distracted by your presence and how much joy it brought him that he had never realized. 

He was happy to have you around. He was happy to have you. You made him happy. 

Such simple logic, and Kohaku had never noticed until he was deprived of your company for a month or so. Sigh, how stupid he was, Kohaku now realized. He should know to cherish you more. To cherish the ones he loved more. 

“If that’s the case, then… What does make us?” 

“I think... Lovers?” He couldn’t stop himself from the sheepish grin spreading across his face, saying that word, even more so when he sees your face turning into various shades of pink again. His face right now probably matched his hair too, a whole palette of cherry-blossom pink displayed for your eyes only. 

He watched intently as several emotions flashed across your face at once - surprise, bewilderment, embarrassment, and finally, settling on joy. The smile he had wished to even catch a glimpse of in the past month was in front of him, cheekbones hiding a sliver of your eyes. 

“Lovers, then.” 

Kohaku swore he’d never felt more like a giddy, honey-drunk bee than that very moment.

“But seriously, don’t ya go avoiding me like that again! Ya scared me…”